I looked at her like she was some alien life form as my mind digested what she’d said to me over dinner.  She had waited until the fresh baked apple pie was cut and then she had hit me with it.

“There is no easy way for me to do this so I’ll go right at it.  The kids are gone.  I’ve been a damned good wife, mother and homemaker for the last twenty-four years.  I’ve put you, the kids and the home ahead of everything and I’ve decided that it is time to do some things for myself.  I’m forty-five and still reasonably attractive and I need to do it while I still have the goods.

“I love you and you know I do, but this is something that I have wanted to do for almost fifteen years now and I have accepted that you won’t join me and be a part of it.  I hate to see twenty-four good years go down the drain, but if you want a divorce over this I’ll just have to live with it.  I have a date for Friday night so if you don’t want reheated leftovers for dinner you will need to eat out.”

I just sat there and stared at her until she said, “Say something Rob.”

I shrugged and said, “Good luck.”

“Good luck? What do you mean by that?”

“Good luck in your new life and since you are no longer in mine I don’t want you in my bedroom.  So move out.  Tonight!  We can share the house until it is sold.  I’ll call a realtor in the morning and get the process moving.  But I warn you that even though we will share the house you had better never bring your lovers into it or I’m liable to kill you both.”

“Sell the house?  I don’t want to sell the house.  I love this place.”

“Then you need to come up with the money to buy out my share.  In a divorce the assets will be split and that means the house gets sold.  We only have two years left before it will be paid off and our equity is about two hundred and eighty thousand so you will need to come up with a hundred and forty thousand.  You can think about where to get the money while you are moving out of the bedroom.

“I suggest that you get started now as I want to turn in early.  Tomorrow will be a busy day for me seeing to the realtor, getting an attorney and doing all the rest that needs to be done.”

“Why are you rushing into this?”

“Why not?  You just ended our marriage so I see no need to pussyfoot around.  Just get on it and get it done.”

“But I haven’t even done it yet.”

“Doesn’t matter.  The ‘in your face’ attitude you just displayed in telling me what you intend to do told me just what you think of me.  If you fuck your date on Friday or not we are still quits.  Best you get started moving your stuff.  Anything of yours still in the room when I go up to bed will be tossed out the bedroom window.”

“We need to talk this out Rob.”

“No we don’t.  You are a cheating cunt and I don’t want any more to do with you.”

“I am not a cheater!”

“Yes you are Mandy.  You just told me that you have a date for Friday night.  Not that you were going out looking, but that you already have one.  That means that you have been meeting and talking with another man with the intent of setting up a sexual encounter and in my book that is the same as cheating.  Now get the fuck out of my sight and start moving your shit!”

I got up from the table and headed for my ‘man cave” which was also our garage.  As I worked on my latest project, a 1965 Pontiac Catalina convertible, I thought back to when this nonsense started.  It was about fifteen years ago and it was all because of who I was and what I did before I got married.

I had been quite the horn dog in high school.  Pauline French had taken my virginity on my eighteenth birthday and I had liked it.  So much so that I’d spent considerable time looking for more and as a result I had bedded a few of the opposite sex.  Well, more than a few to be honest about it.  I was your typical ‘love them and leave them’ asshole until I got to college and a couple of girls made it their business to cure me of my bad habits.  I’d loved and left both of them and they got together and made it a crusade to see to it that it didn’t happen to other girls.  If they saw me with a girl they moved right in and told her about me.  By my junior year the word had spread and I couldn’t get a date to save my life.

The first year of my senior year I met Amanda Martin and fell ass end over tea kettle in love.  She wouldn’t have anything to do with me.

“I’ve been told what kind of guy you are and I know what you want and it isn’t going to happen.”

I kept on trying until one day she said, “Do I have to call the cops on you and file a complaint?  As far as I’m concerned you are stalking me.  Do I need to get a restraining order on you?  Leave me alone!  One last time!  I want nothing to do with you!  I am not going to be another notch on your bed post!”

I got the message and finally realized what my horn dog attitude had cost me.  For the rest of my senior year I went dateless and ate my heart out every time I saw Amanda.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Graduation came and I went to work for the Athena Group in their marketing department.  It isn’t bragging to say I was a good looking guy and in pretty decent shape and I attracted the attention of several of the single girls who worked in my department.  Truth be told a couple of the married ones also showed an interest.  None of them knew my reputation so you could say that it was a target rich environment for someone like me.

But a funny thing happened somewhere along the line.  I didn’t take advantage of it.  I guess the easiest way to explain it would be to say that I grew up  Some time during my senior year I realized that I was never going to have a meaningful relationship with a girl like Amanda unless I changed my ways and God knows that I had really wanted that relationship with Amanda.

A year went by and while I did date a lot I pretty much behaved myself.  I did fall into a friends with benefits relationship with a girl and it lasted for about six months and ended when she took a job in another state.  Even though I dated a lot I never met a girl who made me feel like Amanda did and that feeling was my benchmark, my baseline, and what I was looking for and quite frankly I was beginning to feel that I was never going to find it.

++++++++++++++++++++

One night after working late I stopped at The Purple Onion on the way home from work.  I was a regular there and Suzie behind the bar had my vodka tonic sitting on the bar by the time I slid onto the bar stool.  I’d been there maybe a half hour when I heard a commotion behind me, I heard a woman say “Let go of me!” and a male voice say:

“No way are you hanging me out lady.  Dinner, drinks, a show and you have been cock teasing me all night so there is no way you are going to get away with just saying goodnight.”

“Let go of me asshole!”

“No way bitch!  I’m going to get at least a blow job out of this night.”

Normally I’m a guy who minds his own business, but the asshole acting like that and saying that kind of shit out loud and in public just set me off.  I got up and went over to him and told him to get his ass out of the bar.

Who is going to make me, you?”

“Bet your ass.”

“Fuck you” he said and swung on me.  I blocked it and hit him hard.  He staggered and I hit him twice more, grabbed him, spun him around, put him in a hammerlock and frog marched him out the door into the parking lot.  The door didn’t have a knob’ it was the push bar type and I walked his body right into the push bar to open the door.  His body hit the push bar at the same time his face hit the door and blood spurted from his nose.  I walked him straight to the dumpster and then picked him up as I said “In you go with the rest of the garbage” and I dropped him into the dumpster as I said:

“If you are smart you won’t come back into the bar.”

I didn’t go back in either because my good mood was gone.  I went home to my apartment. Took a shower and went to bed.

++++++++++++++++++++++

It was three days before I stopped in at the Onion again. And as usual Suzie had my vodka tonic sitting on the bar when I reached the barstool.  She went to the cash register and then came back and handed me an envelope.

“What’s this” I asked.

“When you walked that turd out of here the other night you left your money lying on the bar.  You tip well, but not that well so I put it in the register for you.”

I took the envelope and put it in my pocket without looking in it and took out my wallet and dropped a twenty on the bar for my drink.  Suzie pushed it back at me and said:

“Your money is no good in here tonight.”

“Why?”

“The lady you rescued the other night told me to call her and let her know when you came back in again.  I’m supposed to feed you drinks on her dime to hold you here until she gets here.”

“You’re kidding me.”

“Not the least little bit bubba.  The lady wants to thank you in person.”

I was on my third vodka tonic when Suzie set a glass of white wine in front of the stool on my right and before I could ask her what it was for someone sat down on the stool.  I looked and my jaw dropped as Amanda Martin smiled at me and said:

“Hi Rob; long time no see.”

I was so stunned to see her that I was at a loss for words.

“What’s the matter Rob?  You never used to be the silent type.”

“I’m just surprised to see you after all these years.”

“It could have been three days sooner if you had come back in after escorting Dirk out of here the other night.”

“That was you he was hassling?”

“It was.  Unfortunately he was another one of my many mistakes.  I seem to be incapable of picking a good man.”

I had no idea of what I could say to that so I let it pass and asked her how she’d been and then about what she’d been doing since she left school.  We talked for a while and then I asked her if she’d eaten yet and she hadn’t so I asked her if she would care to join me for dinner.  By the time dessert and coffee was served I had a date for the next night and that date led to many more and six months later I asked Mandy to marry me and she said yes.

Amanda came to our marriage bed a virgin and that fact was to have a major impact on our lives in the future.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

A year after our wedding Jason William joined us and a year and a half later Amber Marie became a member of our family.  We had been married five years when Mandy hit me with one of the questions known to strike fear in a husband’s heart.

“You know I love you right?”

“Of course I do.”

“And you know that I would never do anything that would hurt our marriage, right?”

“Don’t pussy-foot Mandy; lay it on me.”

“You know I came into our marriage a virgin, right?”

“Get to it Mandy.”

“You had so much experience before we became a couple so I know you had a wide range of experiences.  I’ve always wondered what I missed by staying pure until my wedding.”

I just sat there and looked at her in silence as she went on.

“You remember Sally Stiles?”

I did.  She was one of the girls that Amanda hung out with in college and I knew that the two had stayed in touch and I nodded a yes.

“Well Sally and I talk a lot and she was telling me about her sex life with her husband Ralph.  I confessed that you were the only man I’d ever had sex with and I admitted to being curious about what I’d missed by staying a virgin.”

“So what is this all about Mandy?”

“I don’t know how to say it Rob.”

“Say what?”

“I’m afraid that you will take it wrong.”

“Take what wrong?”

“I’d like to experience another man.”

“You have got to be kidding me.”

“Just hear me out Rob.  I love you and I’m perfectly happy with you and our marriage.  I just want to see what sex is like with someone else.  No love or affection, just the physical act is all I want to experience and I don’t need to go out and try a random pick up.  Sally and Ralph belong to a swingers group and she said that she and Ralph would sponsor us.  All the members are tested every two weeks so it is safe.  We would do it together.  It would give you a chance for a little variety and allow me to satisfy my curiosity.”

“You have to be out of your mind if you think I would go along with something like that.  The time to satisfy your curiosity is before you get married and not during the marriage.  My response is to tell you to stop talking to Sally and letting her fill your head with garbage.”

“All I wa…”

“No!  Not just no but fuck no!  Just drop it Amanda.  I don’t want to hear any more about it.”

Things were a little icy around the house for the next couple of days and then things got back to normal.  But when I told Mandy that I didn’t want to hear any more about it it apparently didn’t register with her.  She brought it up a couple of times over the next several years and always when we were drinking and partying.

Typical was the night of her thirty-eighth birthday.  I took her out to dinner and then we went for drinks and dancing.  Several drinks and dances into the night and when I was feeling amorous and feeling her up on the dance floor she pointed out a couple and said:

“She’s certainly sexy.  Wouldn’t you like a taste of that?”

She certainly was a sexy looking lady and if I was single I most definitely would have been interested and then Mandy said:

“And he isn’t half bad either.  Maybe we could meet them.”

I knew she was fishing again so I just said, “No need.  I’ve already got the one I want for tonight.”

That happened three or more times over the years and while I can’t prove it I know that at least some of them were plants.  I discovered that one night when Sally and Ralph came in and sat down with the couple that Mandy was trying to get me interested in.  Not a doubt in my mind that they were swinger friends of Sally and Ralph and that Mandy knew who they were and was hoping that I would take the bait.

The only thing I took from the night was the idea that I needed to watch Mandy a little closer.  She was still friends with Sally and she had to have been introduced to the couple by Sally in order to know who they were. And if she was that in touch with swingers what else might she be doing?  She stopped for drinks occasionally with the people she worked with and she did have a girls night out every once in a while.  I really didn’t think she was cheating on me yet because everything I’d heard about swing groups said that they didn’t take in singles.  I didn’t think Mandy would hook up with some guy so she could go as part of a couple.  I mean why would she?  If she hooked up with a guy she wouldn’t have to go to a swinger’s group to get the experience that she craved would she?

It all came to a head on Mandy’s thirty-ninth birthday.  I asked her what she would like for her birthday present and she said:

“I want you to let me experience another man.  Just once.  I only want to try it one time and I’ll never ask again.”

“Tell you what I’ll do Amanda.  For your birthday I’ll see an attorney, fill out the papers and have them served on you.  Once we are divorced you can fuck all the other men that you want and have experiences by the bucket full.  This is the last time I want to hear this shit!  Let me make this absolutely crystal clear.  The only way you are going to fuck another man without me tossing you out with the garbage is if we are divorced or I am dead. 

“Get that firmly in your head.  I’ll even take it a step farther to make it as clear as can be.  If you bring this shit up to me ever again I will divorce your ass and set you free to fuck all you want!”

I believed that I had finally gotten through to her because she never brought it up again. 

Until the night she told me that she was going to do it whether I liked it or not.

++++++++++++++++++++++

The next morning I did see a realtor and an attorney.  It would be a cut and dried fifty/fifty split.  Amanda made as much as I did so there would be no alimony and the kids were grown up and gone.  About the only things we would have to squabble over would be who got what out of the house.

I don’t believe that Amanda knew what she had set in motion until she came home from work Wednesday evening and found a for sale sign on a post in our front yard.  And it really hit home when she was served at work on Thursday.  She was pissed!  I mean she was absolutely livid when she got home Thursday night and lit into me for having her served in front of her co-workers.

“Only fitting” I said.

“What the hell do you mean by that?”

“I can pretty much account for your time so if you were talking dates with a man I figure that you had to be doing it at work.  So to me it seems fitting that since the ending of our marriage started at your work place that is where you should be served.”

“Nothing started at work!”

“Whatever.  What needed to be done got done and as far as I’m concerned now that you have been served you are free to go and fuck other guys to your hearts content.”

I got up, put on my coat and headed for the door.

“Where are you going?”

“To the bar.  I’m going to drink some beer and shoot some pool and get a head start on my new life as a single guy.”

“We need to talk Rob.”

“No we don’t Amanda.  You said every thing that needed to be said when you looked me right in the eye and told me that you were going to deliberately cheat on me and that if I didn’t like it I could go for a divorce.  Well Amanda, I didn’t like it so I’m getting the divorce.”

I left the house and headed for Bud’s Bar.

I drank beer and shot pool until ten-thirty and then I went on home.  Amanda was already in bed and she was still in her room when I left for work in the morning so I didn’t know if she dressed for her date or took a change of clothes with her to work.

After work I stopped at the Village Inn for dinner and when I got home at seven I was surprised to see Amanda’s car in the garage.  I figured that she must have come home and changed after work and that her date had picked her up here at the house.  The guy must have stones the size of basket balls if he could do that knowing that I might be there.  With that thought in mind I went into the house and found Amanda sitting at the kitchen table nursing a glass of wine.

There was no lack of sarcasm in my voice when I said, “Date over all ready?  He was that much of a dud?”

“Fuck you Rob!  There was no date.  There never was a date.  I made all that up.”

“Yeah!  Right!  Like I’m going to believe that.”

“I’ve wanted to do it forever Rob and I felt that if it was going to happen it needed to be done while I still had my looks.  Sally told me that I should just tell you that I was going to do it and that you wouldn’t want to lose me so you would go along with it.”

“I told you a long time ago to stay away from that stupid bitch, but oh no, you couldn’t listen to me and instead you listen to her.  How’s that working out for you?”

“This isn’t funny Rob.  It has gotten way out of hand.  You need to call the realtor and take the house off the market and call your lawyer and stop this divorce nonsense.”

“Why would I want to do that?”

“I just told you.  There was no date.  It was all a bluff to try and get you to go along with me on what I wanted.”

“There is a small problem with that Amanda.”

“What?”

“I do not choose to believe you.  My take on it is that you didn’t expect me to take a hard line and when I did it shocked you and now you are trying to do damage control.  You more than likely called your date and begged off and now you are trying to salvage your marriage.  I’m not buying it.  You might as well call your date back and tell him it is a go after all. 

“Make sure that your room is straight before you go.  Just in case you are not home by nine in the morning.  There is a couple coming to look at the house at ten.  Good night. Have fun on your date.  I sure hope it is worth what it cost you.”

She started crying as I left the room and there once was a time when it would have caused me to rush to her, take her in my arms and comfort her.  But that was then.

As I climbed into bed I did wonder if Amanda was telling the truth.  It was possible, but I couldn’t be sure and that was the killer - the fact that I couldn’t be sure.  Then I had a thought.  It was a little out there, but it could work.  It was a long shot, but it wouldn’t cost me a thing to try it.  I got up and got my cell phone.  Since Amanda spent so much time with Sally I had Sally on speed dial in case I needed to get in touch with Amanda.

I called Sally and when she answered I told her I needed a big favor.

“Can you get a message to Mandy without messing up her date?”

“She cancelled the date.  She is supposed to be home talking to you.”

“Oh?  I haven’t gone home yet.  I guess I’d better hurry home then.”

I disconnected and went to bed.  So much for Amanda’s story that it was all a bluff.

+++++++++++++++++++++

In the morning I made the bed and picked up the room.  When I got to the kitchen Amanda was there and it did not look as if she had a good night.  She did have the coffee made so I poured myself a cup.

“Is your room straight” I asked.

“You aren’t really going to sell the house are you?

“Of course I am.”

“I don’t want a divorce Rob.  Please!  It was all a big mistake.  I don’t want a divorce.”

“That’s what you don’t want Amanda.  How about what I didn’t want?  I told you over and over again that I’m not going to share you with another guy and I’ve told you countless times that I didn’t want to hear any of that shit again.  Did I get what I wanted Amanda?  No I didn’t.  You constantly bring it up even though I keep telling you that I do not want to hear it.  No reason to give you what you want when I can’t get what I want.”

“I won’t do it anymore Rob.  I promise I won’t do it again.”

“You probably won’t, but that won’t stop you from wanting to do it and it is my belief that with the thought in your mind that you need to do it while, how did you put it – you still have the goods - you will still be talking to Sally and listening to her tales of how great it is to experience different men and you are going to do it.  You will decide that since you can’t get me to go along you will do it without telling me.  You will get caught by me and then I’ll go to jail for what I do to the guy you cheat with.  When I get out of jail I will divorce you for infidelity.  Since divorce is going to happen anyway it is better that I do it now for irreconcilable differences and avoid going to jail.”

“I would never do that to you.  Yes, I do want to do it, but only if it is okay with you.  That’s the reason I keep bringing it up.  I figure that once you accept that I really, really want to do it you will let me.”

“That is stupid thinking on your part Amanda.  Have I ever, even once, in the last fifteen years given any indication of a softening in my attitude?  I have not!  It will never happen with my approval and I believe that you will come to realize that and when you do you will go ahead and do it thinking that it will only be the one time and you can hide it from me.

“The problem is that you won’t be able to do that.  I know you too well Amanda and I can tell when you are trying to put something over on me.  For instance; you told me that the date thing was a bluff and I could tell you were lying.  You did have a date.  You thought that once you gave me your ultimatum I would accept it because you knew that I loved you and wouldn’t want to let you go.  I surprised you when I said okay I’ll go for the divorce.  Suddenly you realized that you guessed wrong and that I was going to let you go so you cancelled your date and started doing damage control.

“Deny it all you want Amanda, but you can’t lie for shit.  I could tell you were lying through your teeth when you told me that the date thing was a bluff.  You did have a date.  I know it and I’m tired of this shit so I’m letting you have what you want, but there is a price for letting you do it and that price is a divorce.  As far as I am concerned now that you have been served you are free to do what ever it is that you want.  Have other men to your hearts content Amanda because your marriage to me is over.  Now, is your room ready for viewing?”

“No it isn’t and it isn’t going to be.  I’m taking the day off work and the kitchen isn’t going to look all that great either.  I intend to do a lot of baking today and you know how messy that can get.  Also I’ll go along with them on the walk thru and point out all the flaws.  I may even mention that we don’t have the roach problem under control yet.”

“I guess I can’t stop you from doing that, but if you do it do it knowing what it will cost you.”

“And that would be?”

“I’ll move out, stop making the house payments and stop paying for the utilities and eventually the house will go into foreclosure and we will lose it and your portion of what we could have gotten in a sale.  The other option is that you pick up the house payments and pay for the lights, gas, water and phone.  Quite frankly I don’t believe that you can do it on your salary alone, but that is something that you will have to decide.”

I got up from the table, filled my travel mug with coffee and said, “I’m off to work.  I’ll call the real estate agent this afternoon and see how the showing went.  If he tells me that you tried to sabotage the sale I’ll make the necessary calls to put the utilities in your name and let you make the next house payment which is due this coming Wednesday.”

“Damn it Robert!  Can’t you get it through your hard head that I don’t want a divorce?”

“Can’t you get it through your thick skull that I don’t give a rat’s ass about what you want or don’t want?  I stopped giving a shit about what you want when you looked me right in the eye and told me what you were going to do it and that if I didn’t like it I could get a divorce.  That was the end of our marriage Amanda.  You gave me the choice and I chose divorce.”

She was looking at me with a glum look on her face when I left for work.

++++++++++++++++++++++++

At one o’clock I called my friend Mark.

“How did it go?”

“She stayed out of the way.”

“Was the room she was using viewable?”

“Neat as a pin.  Even the kitchen.  My brother liked the house.  He almost wishes that it really was for sale.”

“If our plan doesn’t work it might be.”

“I’ve got my cousin and his girlfriend going to look at it the day after tomorrow and my sister and brother in law on the day after that.”

After your cousin looks at it I’ll tell her that you called me with an offer.”

“You really think that this is going to work?”

“I hope so, but if it doesn’t at least I will have tried.”

When I got home from work Amanda was sitting on the living room couch reading a book.  When I came in she put the book down and asked:

“Should I fix dinner or are you going out again tonight?”

“If you are going to fix for yourself I’ll stay in, but if you are going to cook just for me I’ll go out.”

“I haven’t eaten all day so I’ll go fix something” and she got up and headed for the kitchen.  While she was getting dinner ready I went down into the basement and checked the recorder that I’d put on the phone line the day Mark had put the for sale sign in the yard.  The only call of interest was a call that she made as soon as I left for work that morning.

“Hello?”

“Hi.  It’s me.  He just left for work.”

“Any change?”

“No.  I guess he is really going through with it.  The realtor is bringing some people to look at the house this morning.”

“I don’t know why you are so down about it.  It frees you up to do what we’ve talked about.”

“I don’t want to do it if it is going to cost me my marriage.”

“It looks to me like you have all ready lost it.  If Rob does follow through on the divorce you can hook back up with Rudy.  You pretty near broke his heart when you cancelled the other night.  He was really looking forward to bringing you to the meeting.  There were a couple of other guys who were also disappointed when you were a no show.”

“Not as disappointed as I was when our plan didn’t work.  You assured me that Rob would give in rather than lose me.”

“And I don’t understand that at all.  The man loves you.  Everyone knows that he worships the ground you walk on.  He should have caved in to your ultimatum.”

“Well he didn’t and now I can’t even get him to talk to me.”

“Given the hard line he is taking what could you possibly say?”

“I don’t know, but there has to be something I can say or do that will get him to put a stop to things.”

“I hate to say it, but the only thing I can see working is that you promise him that it will never be brought up again.”

“The way things have been going I don’t think he would believe me.  He doesn’t believe any thing that I say.  He says he knows I was lying when I told him that the date thing was just a bluff.”

“Oh shit!”

“What?”

“He knows you were lying because he called me and asked me if I could get a message to you without interfering with your date and I told him that you had cancelled the date so you could be at home and talk with him.”

“Oh God; now what can I do.”

“I don’t know that you can do anything girl.”

“Don’t say that!  I can’t lose Rob; I just can’t!”

“Why not?  Once you are free of him you will be able to have all the experiences that you want.  Besides Rudy I know a good half dozen guys we can hook you up with.”

“I thought you were my friend Sally, but I guess I’m wrong.  It seems like your only interest in me is having someone you can hook up with your single friends who want to join your swing group.  It isn’t going to be me Sally.  Not ever.  Not without Rob going along with it and I have finally accepted that it just isn’t going to happen.  He is never going to go along with it.  Goodbye Sally.”

I rewound the recorder and went back upstairs.  I watched the evening news until Amanda called me to dinner.  We ate in silence and it wasn’t until Amanda got up to start cleaning up that she spoke.

“I do not want a divorce Rob.  What do I have to do to get you to drop the divorce and take the house off the market?”

“It doesn’t matter Amanda because you can’t do it.”

“How can you know that?”

“Because you have had fifteen years to do it and you haven’t been able to do it.  No reason at all to believe that you can do it now.”

“What?”

“Put an end to the ‘other man’ bullshit.  The problem we have now is that you could promise me that you would do it, but I don’t trust your word any more.  I can’t help but believe that even if you promise to drop it and a situation was to arise that made you believe that you could do it and get away with it you would go ahead and do it.  I’m always going to remember you saying that you needed to do it while you still had your looks. And then there is the fact that you have already lied to me about the date thing.  No Amanda, I just can’t see it happening.

“You might want to start looking for a place to live.  I talked to the real estate guy this afternoon and the couple that looked at the house seemed to really like it.  He thinks they are going to make an offer.”

“This is just so unfair.  I don’t want to lose this place.”

“You don’t have to lose it.  You can always buy me out of my share and keep the house and how can it not be fair?  You are getting what you say you have always wanted.  You now have the freedom to experience another man or men.  You should be happy.”

I got up and left the table.

When I came back into the house after spending a couple of hours on the Pontiac Mandy was in her room so I went to the basement and checked the recorder.  There was nothing of interest on it so I rewound it and headed up to bed.  I set the alarm for five and then sacked out.

++++++++++++++++++

I was up and out of the house before Amanda came out of her room and I stopped at the IHOP for breakfast.  I had an extremely busy day and didn’t have much time to spare on thinking about the situation with Mandy. 

I decided to eat out that night and after eating I stopped by Bud’s Bar to have a beer or two and shoot some pool.  I left about a quarter after ten and when I got home the lights were out and Mandy’s car was in the garage so I guessed she had gone to bed.

I checked the recorder and only found one call of interest.

“Hello?”

“Good evening girlfriend.”

“What do you want Sally?”

“To get back on your good side.”

“Why?  Got another single guy who needs someone so he can get into your swing group?”

“Don’t be that way Mans; we were friends long before I met Ralph and got involved in the scene and let us not forget that it was you always pressing me for more information about what Ralph and I do.”

“Okay.  You’ve made your point.”

“The reason I’m calling is to see if you can have lunch with me tomorrow.    I think I have a way for you to get Rob to drop the divorce.”

“What is it?”

“I’ll tell you over lunch.  I’m still working on the fine points of it.  Sarducci’s at noon work for you?”

“I can be there.”

“Don’t panic if I get there first and when you get there you see me sitting with a guy.  I’m not trying to fix you up with anybody, but if my plan is workable we will need him.  Got to run.  See you at noon.”

I went to sleep trying to wrap my head around the fact that Sally was trying to help Amanda save her marriage.  Sally didn’t even like me and never had.  Of course that the feeling was mutual might have had something to do with it.

I was up and out of the house before Mandy got up in the morning and I had enough free time during the day to wonder about Sally and Mandy’s lunch date.  Did Sally really have an idea that would help Mandy or was the lunch just some ploy to try and suck Amanda into the swinging scene?

I decided to go straight home and not eat out or stop for some beers after work.  I’d no sooner made that decision than Mandy called me and asked me if I would be home for dinner or was I going to be late again.  I told her that I would be home around my usual time.

Dinner was ready when I got home and Mandy set it out on the table.  The conversation was minimal and pretty much limited to “Please pass the mashed potatoes” or “Would you like some more green beans.”  After we had eaten, but before she cleared the table Mandy slid an envelope across the table to me.  As I reached for it Mandy said:

“I had a phone call from Sally last night and she told me that she had an idea on how I could maybe save our marriage.  I met her for lunch and she had a man from her swing group with her, but he was there in his capacity as a paralegal and a notary.

“Sally explained her idea and I agreed with it and Abe, the paralegal, left us and came back twenty minutes later with the document you have in your hands.  I signed it and he notarized my signature.  All you have to do is read it and then sign it where it says “I accept this agreement.”

“What if I don’t accept it?”

“Why wouldn’t you?  It gives you everything you say you want and then some.”

I opened the envelope, took out the document and read it.  Basically it was a legally enforceable post nuptial agreement that stated if Amanda violated any of the provisions of the document and it led to a divorce she would leave the marriage with nothing but her personal possessions.  The two major provisions were infidelity and any attempts on her part to try and get me to join her in having sexual relations with others.  I took a pen out of my shirt pocket and sighed on the line that said:

“I accept this agreement.”

Then Mandy said, “There is one thing that has to happen that the document doesn’t specify.”

“What’s that?”

“It doesn’t become valid until after we have made love” and she started to unbutton her blouse.