I suppose that the best way to start this is to tell a little bit about how I look at things.  I have always believed that sex is a basic human need.  Not a want, but a need.  As far as needs go – in my mind at least – sex is every bit as necessary to human health, physical and mental, as air, water and food.  That belief carries with it the belief that sex and love – while complimentary – are not the same thing.  My belief is that you can have sex without love and you can have love without sex.

Why this explanation?  Because it is the foundation for the story that follows.

++++++++++++++++

I was a late bloomer where sex was concerned.  I knew about it.  I’d had friends tell me how great it was and I’d thought about it a lot.  I had also donated gallons of the milky white stuff to handkerchiefs and towels while perusing Playboy, Penthouse and other men’s magazines, but at eighteen I was still a virgin.

Not for lack of trying to correct the problem, but I had horrible luck with girls.  A friend would tell me about what a hot fuck__________ was and that she’d put out for anybody and I’d take her out and not even get a kiss.  Another friend would tell me that I should take__________ out because she would give it up in a heartbeat.  I’d take her out and get a slapped face to go along with “What kid of girl do you think I am!”  I dated a dozen sure things that weren’t. 

All those dates had unintended consequences.  Girls I wanted to date because I was interested in them wouldn’t give me the time of day because the word was out that all I was interested in was one thing and one thing only – getting laid.  Not true, but it didn’t matter.  That’s what they thought so that was the way of it.  I resigned myself to not having a girlfriend until I started college and met girls who didn’t know my history.

But back to my quest to get rid of the odious title of ‘virgin’.  I was actually considering finding me a prostitute when the chance came to me instead of my going to it.  It was at a barbecue at my Aunt Martha’s.  It was a family affair and the place was overrun by relatives.  It was a nice affair and I enjoyed myself because I liked most of my relatives.  Catch the “most”?  Aunt Martha had twin daughters, Staci and Traci, and they were two years older than me and they belonged to that class of females whose main belief was that their shit didn’t stink.  They also believed that anyone younger than they were was beneath their notice.  As you may guess we did not get along; not even a little bit.  I spent most of the day avoiding them.  They both had boyfriends there that day so they were too busy to notice me and I liked it that way.

It was close to eight and I was getting ready to leave.  I hit the bathroom to relieve myself before getting in my car and driving home and as I came out of the bathroom Staci, who was storming down the hall ran into me and snarled:

“Watch where you are going you stupid oaf!”

I resisted the urge to say, “You ran into me you stupid cunt!” and instead I turned and headed for the front door.  Staci grabbed my arm and said “Come with me” and she pulled me along to her room.  She was talking to herself and saying:

“Asshole thinks he’s special.  He’s just another dick.  Thinks he can treat me like that?  No fucking way.  I’ll show the dickhead.  I’ll show him he isn’t the only hard cock around. 

By then we were in her room and she closed the door and locked it.

“Get you pants off” she told me in a commanding tone.

“What?”

“Your pants; get them off.”

While she was saying that her skirt fell to the floor and she hooked her fingers in the waist band of her panties and started to push them down.  I stood there not having a clue and she snarled:

“Get your fucking pants off!  You can’t fuck me with them on.  I’m not having my hairs getting caught in your fucking zipper.”

“When the words “fuck me” registered I shook off my confusion and stripped.  By then Staci was naked and the sight had my cock standing tall.  Staci glanced at it and said:

“Not bad.  Not bad at all.  Get over here.”

By that point I was hers to command.  I was going to lose my hated virgin status and whatever she said I was going to do.  I moved over to her and she laid back on her bed and spread her legs wide and then looked up at me as she waited for me to take my place.

I knew what to do.  What the hell, it comes natural right?  Besides, I’d seen hundreds of pictures.  But I hesitated.  I was scared.  I’d heard stories about guys whose first time was over in seconds and I was afraid that if I came too quick Staci would make nasty comments and our relationship, which was not all that good to begin with, would get worse.  Much, much worse.  I could just imagine the distain she would show me in the future, but the little head was screaming “Do it fool, do it!”

I know what you are thinking.   You are thinking that I shouldn’t do it.  You can’t do it.  It would be wrong.  It would be incest and that is morally and legally wrong, but that wasn’t the case.  Staci and Traci were Aunt Martha’s by a previous marriage and the twins were two years old when Aunt Martha married my Uncle Mike.

“Don’t just stand there damn it” Staci snarled.

I moved between her legs and she grabbed my cock and guided it (pulled it actually) to her pussy.  My fears proved to be groundless and I managed to give a good account of myself or at least I thought I did.  Maybe the session I’d had the night before with Playboy and my morning wake up with Penthouse had something to do with it.  Whatever it was that helped wasn’t on my mind at that moment.  All I was thinking was that I had to give Staci what she wanted.

“Fuck me harder” and I tried.

“Fuck me faster” and I tried.

“Make me cum” and I tried and tried and tried.

Not having any experience I don’t know if she got off or not, but I did.  I was surprised that I had the presence of mind to pull out just before I came.  I shot all over her tummy and she exploded on me.

“What the fuck did you do that for?  Look at the mess you made.”

I stammered that I didn’t have a rubber on and I didn’t want to get her pregnant.

“Idiot!  If I was worried about that I wouldn’t have let you in me without one on.  I’m on the pill.  Grab my panties and clean that mess up.”

I did as I was told and in the process of doing it I was looking at her pussy.  It glistened with her juices and the lips were puffy and reddish and I started getting hard again.  Staci noticed and said:

“Want more huh?  You got lucky the first time.  Usually you have to eat me if you want to fuck me, but I was in too much of a hurry to make you.  You want more you have to eat it before you can fuck it.”

She saw the look on my face and read it wrong.

“What’s the matter?  Not man enough?”

I shook my head and said, “Its not that.  I’ve never done it.  I don’t know how.”

“Then I’ll talk you through it.”

She did and I think I got her off before she said, “Enough.  Fuck me now.”

When we were done she said, “I need to get you out of here.  You better keep your mouth shut about this.”  She paused and then said, “If you can do that we can do it again sometime.”

When I heard that my natural response was “When?”

“Mom and dad have a dinner to go to on Tuesday and they will both go straight from work.  My last class is at four and I’ll be home no later than four forty-five, but you had better keep quiet about this.  If I hear the slightest thing about it being talked about not only will you never get it again, but I’ll cut your dick off.  You understand me?”

I nodded a “yes” as I pulled up my zipper.

“Good.  Now get out.”

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The time between that Saturday barbecue and four forty-five Tuesday drug along and it felt like years.  I arrived at Aunt Martha’s at four thirty-five.  I don’t know about other families, but in mine we never bothered to knock or ring the bell when going to a relatives place.  You just walked in and hollered out:

“Hello?  Anybody home?”

Usually some one would holler back “We’re in the kitchen” or whatever.  I knew the twins were home because their cars were in the driveway so I went looking for them.  I went into the family room and through the window I saw both of them sitting out on the patio.  I went to the patio door and started to open it.  I had it open just a crack when I suddenly stopped.  Staci wouldn’t want Traci to know what we were doing so I decided to go back outside and ring the doorbell.  That would give Staci time to do whatever.  I was just closing the door when I heard:

“The big doofus will be here pretty soon.  I told him four forty-five.  You want to hide in the closet and watch?”

“Fuck no!  Watch you get your pussy eaten?  No fucking way!  I’d have to come out, pull him off of you and sit on his face.  I can’t believe that you lucked out and found a guy who will eat your pussy.”

“He’s a clueless doofus and doesn’t seem to know that most guys think pussy eating is just too, too nasty.  I think he was a virgin and would have licked my asshole if I would have told him that was the price of fucking me.”

“How long are you going to do him?  Aren’t you afraid it will get back to Brad?”

“No chance.  Only the two of us – three counting you – know and I’ve already warned him that the pussy stops if he lets anyone know.  As for how long?  As long as he eats me when I tell him to.  I might even get kinky and have him go down on me after Brad does me.”

“You’ll never get away with it.”

“Sure I will.  He never ate a pussy before mine so all I need to do is tell him that he has me so hot that my natural juices are flowing.”

“You can’t believe that he will go for that.”

Staci laughed and said, “I keep telling you that he is clueless.”

“At least let me know when you get ready to dump him.  I’d like to get my pussy eaten too.”

I quietly closed the door, went back outside and rang the doorbell.  There was no sign of Traci as Staci led me to her bedroom and I wondered if she was in the closet.  If she was it didn’t matter because I was going to get me some pussy.  At that point I didn’t give a rat’s ass about anything other than sliding my cock into Staci’s wet hole.  I didn’t care that Staci thought I was a clueless doofus.  The only thing I cared about was getting my dick in her.

I ate her and then I fucked her.  I ate her a second time and then fucked her again.  I wanted to go a third time, but she said that I needed to get out before her parents got home.  As I drove away I thought about the conversation I’d overheard.  So Traci wanted her pussy eaten did she?  I’d have to see about that.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Over the summer Staci and I got together maybe a dozen times.  If I ate her after Brad fucked her I never knew it.  Her taste was always the same.  There was no love or affection involved.  We never once kissed and she never offered to suck my cock.  The one time I asked her to she flatly said “I don’t do that.”  It was always “Hurry up, get undressed and eat me.”

That fall I started college and I would see Staci and Traci around the campus and the girls pretty much ignored me although in private Staci was still giving me ‘orders’.

 “My place tomorrow at four.”

 She never waited for me to say “Okay” or “Sorry, I can’t make it tomorrow.”  She knew that “Clueless” would be there.  Why did I put up with it?  Because it was a steady piece of ass that I didn’t have to work for.  You know what I mean when I say “work” for it.  The dance you go through to get the date, trying to get something going and trying for he first kiss.  The second, third and however many more date before she takes up with another guy or gives you the “What kind of girl do you think I am” speech.  All that time, money and effort expended for nothing so no surprise that when Staci said, “My place at four” I was there at three fifty-nine.

One thing that I never understood is that Staci would never come to my apartment.  I suppose here is where I should let you know that I am what is referred to as a ‘trust fund baby.’  My grandparents set up a trust fund for me when I was born.  It wasn’t millions, but over the years with interest and all it had grown to a little over six hundred thousand, but the fund was set up so that I could only access it once I started college and draw on it as long as I stayed in college as long as the money drawn was for college related expenses.  I would receive the full amount when I graduated with a degree, but if I didn’t go to college or if I started and then dropped out I wouldn’t get the money until I was thirty years old.  I was told that it was set up that way so I would be influenced to get a college education.  The fund saw to it that I had a car, an apartment on campus (anywhere else and the fund wouldn’t cover it) and that I could concentrate on my studies since I wouldn’t have to work.  Anyway, Staci flatly refused to ever set foot inside of my apartment and I could never figure out why.

But things change.  Staci stopped putting it out there for me.  I found out later that she had given Brad an ultimatum. 

“You eat my pussy or you don’t get any more of it.”

I guess he decided that he wanted to hang on to her.  They eventually got married and while I didn’t give them five years (Staci was a real bitch – at least to me) they are still going after twenty.  At family functions she still treats me like she barely knows me, but what the hell; she did serve a purpose at one time in my life.

But I digress.  When Staci dropped me I was upset because my steady supply of pussy was gone and I didn’t have anything else going at the time. I was dating a couple of girls, but wasn’t having any luck as far as the sexual sweepstakes went.

 The one day at school I saw Traci sitting alone and I remembered her comment from way back and I thought, “What the hell; why not” and I went over to her table and sat down.  She looked up from the notes she was studying, saw it was me and got a “Why the fuck are you sitting there?” look on her face.  I didn’t have anything to lose so I just said:

“Had your pussy eaten lately?”

Her face screwed up and she was a nano-second from exploding on me when I said:

“Don’t go getting all pissy on me.  I heard what you told Staci that day when I came over and she asked you if you wanted to watch from the closet.  You asked her to let you know when she was ready to dump me because you wanted your pussy eaten also.  Staci dumped me so the question is have you had your pussy eaten lately.  If not do you want to have it eaten?  Think on it and give me a call.”

I started to get up and she said, “Wait.”  I sat back down and Traci said, “Are you serious?”

“Absolutely.  Same deal I had with Staci.  If I eat it I get to fuck it.  No strings attached.”

She looked at me like I was from another planet.  “You are!  You are serious!”

“Like I said – absolutely.”

“I have something I need to do after class, but I’ll be home by seven.”

“See you then.”

Staci and Traci shared a two bedroom apartment off campus and they had some kind of arrangement where they let each other know when they were ‘entertaining” so I’d never seen Traci when I’d stopped by to do her sister.  There system must have broken down because when I got there at seven and rang the door bell it was Staci that opened the door.  She saw that it was me and said:

“What the fuck do you want?”

Traci walked up behind her and said, “He’s with me” and she took me by the arm and led me to her bedroom.  We got naked and Traci got on the bed and spread her legs wide and said:

“Do it!”

I did it until she said, “Enough.  Fuck me now.”

It was uncanny how alike the sisters were.  Not just in looks but in temperament.  Traci had the exact same attitude that Staci had.  I was nothing more than an instrument for their satisfaction, but what the hell, it worked for me.

When Traci and I were done and I walked out of the bedroom Staci was on the couch reading and she glanced up at me as I headed for the door.  Her facial expression fairly screamed “Asshole!” and I just smiled at her, licked my lips and left.

I got together with Traci on the average of twice a week for the next four months and then she stopped telling me to come over, but by then it didn’t matter.

 I’d found Amanda.

When I walked her to her door after our first date she turned and offered me her lips for a kiss and then her arms went around my neck and the kiss had steam coming out of my ears.  When the kiss ended Mandy touched my cheek with her hand, said “Call me” and then went inside. 

The second date we made out for nearly a half hour and fogged up the windows of my car.  On our third date she slid over next to me when we got out of the movie and put her hand on my leg as she said:

“How long are we going to dance around what we both really want to do?” 

She was surprised when the first thing I did was go down on her.  It was only natural for me since it was the way of it with Staci and Traci and by then it was just habit.  Then Mandy surprised the hell out of me when she said, “My turn” and went down on me.  There aren’t words enough in the dictionary to describe your first blow job so I won’t even bother trying.  Suffice to say that Mandy earned my undying gratitude and the guarantee that I would never lose her phone number.

We made love and then Mandy introduced me to the magic number – sixty-nine.  Mandy and I hit it heavy for three weeks and by then I was starting to act like she was my steady girl friend which is when she pulled me up short.

“I like you a lot sweetie, but we are not forever.  I like variety and sooner or later I’ll be moving on to someone different.  I’m not a girl who can ever be happy with just one man.  Let’s be happy with what we have while we have it.”

We lasted another three months before she told me that she was moving on.

So there was the first part of what came to be my beliefs on the subject of love and sex.  Staci, Traci and Mandy all proved to me that you could enjoy sex without love.  The sex that I got from the three of them also demonstrated to me that sex was a physical need.  I got irritable and frustrated if I went too long without. 

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Agatha solidified the second part; that you could have love without sex.  I first saw Aggie at a frat party.  For me it was the classic case of love at first sight.  As soon as I saw her my heart started beating faster and I knew – absolutely knew! – that she was the woman I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.

The problem was that she was someone else’s date.  We weren’t introduced, but I never let myself get to far from her and I rarely took my eyes off of her.  I didn’t think she noticed, but of course she did.

Maybe three hours into the party I had to go to the bathroom and when I came out she and her date were gone.  I asked several people who she was and all any of them could say was that she was Phil’s date.  I seriously thought of asking how I could get in touch with Phil so I could ask him about his date, but good sense prevailed and I settled for finding out as much about Phil as I could.  I found out what classes he took, some of his likes and dislikes and what his extracurricular activities were.  My plan was to try to be where Phil was and hope to see him with Aggie and then try and find some way to meet her.  I spent days gathering information and in the end it was all a waste of time.  I was sitting at a table in the cafeteria when a voice said:

“May I join you?”

I looked up and into the eyes of Agatha Marie Cornwell.  I stood and stammered out a “Please do.”

  She smiled at me as she sat down and then she said, “My name is Aggie and you are the guy who stared at me for hours at the frat party.”

“Guilty as charged.  I’m Rob.”

“I know.  I’ve asked around about you.  So, what is it about me that had you staring at me?”

Well, she wanted to know so I told her.  She laughed at me.  “You can’t be serious.  That is an old wives tale; nothing like that ever happens for real.”

“Trust me.  It did happen and I was devastated when you left the party and I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Well okay, but I have to be honest with you.  I didn’t feel a spark pass between us, but you are kind of cute so maybe I’ll take a chance and see if there is something there.  When is your last class?”

“Three.  It lets out at three forty-five.”

“Meet me here at four” and she got up and walked away.

I was at a table at three-fifty and praying that she wasn’t pulling my leg.  When she hadn’t arrived by four oh-one I was gloomy and sure that she was just having some fun at my expense.  At four oh-two the sun came out as she walked into the room.  Over coffee we talked and I found out that she was one of five kids and was attending school on a handful of scholarships.  Her major was Business Management and she was carrying a 3.85 GPA.  She shared an apartment with three other girls and she couldn’t wait until she graduated, got a decent job and could finally live alone.

I told her all about me and then asked her out.  She looked at me for several seconds and then said:

“Know this about me Rob; I’m a no bullshit girl.  I won’t put up with any and I won’t give out any.  If your “Love at first sight” is just a line that you hope will lead you into my pants I’m telling you up front that it isn’t going to happen.  I don’t know if we are going to develop a relationship or not, but this girl is going down the aisle a virgin.”

“Fine by me as long as I’m the guy you are walking down the aisle toward.”

We started dating and we clicked.  On the fourth date I got my first kiss and by the sixth date we were an acknowledged couple.  Aggie might have declared she was going to be a virgin when she married, but she was no prude.  I could feel her up as long as I didn’t put my hands inside her clothes and she would rub my cock as long as I didn’t take it out.  Our make out sessions were hot and heavy and many were the times I went home with a set of aching nuts, but I was hopelessly in love and Aggie insisted on staying pure and since I loved her enough to give her anything she wanted I went along with the program and suffered.

Earlier I said that sex was a physical need and that I got irritable and frustrated when I had to go without so how did I handle not having any sex with Aggie?  Not well.  Not well at all.  I hit an adult bookstore and loaded up on porn material and then gave my right hand and arm all the exercise they could handle.

At Christmas break during our senior year I proposed and Aggie accepted.  As I slid the ring on her finger I told her I wanted the wedding the day after graduation and she laughed and said:

“My mom will have some say in that.  She might not think that it gives her enough time to plan.”

“She doesn’t need to plan.  We can find a justice of the peace or get married at city hall.”

“Oh no you don’t!  You are not robbing me of my chance to walk down the aisle.”

The next day she kissed me goodbye and left to spend the holidays with her family.

 I never saw her again.

A semi driver fell asleep at the wheel, crossed over into the wrong lane and ended my future with Aggie.  I was heart broken and not fit to be around for months.  I didn’t even attend graduation and instead I had them mail me my degree.

It took me a long time to get over the loss of Aggie, but my time with her taught me that you could have love without sex.  I could only dream about what love and sex would have been like with Aggie.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

I moped around for almost six months and then my mom convinced me to come to a family party.  I’d been there about an hour when Traci came in with Staci and Brad.

 “Just what I need” I thought, “Two bitches to make me miserable.”

Half an hour after the three of them got there Traci came up to me, grabbed my arm and pulled at me to follow her.  Curious, I followed along as she led me out to the patio.  She turned to me and said:

“I need it.  Your place or mine?”

I thought about it for all of a tenth of a second and said “Mine” and I walked away from her and went out to my car and drove to my apartment.  I wondered if Traci would actually show.  I’d never been that abrupt with her before and I wasn’t sure how she would take it.  I wasn’t even sure that she knew where I lived since I had changed apartments when I graduated. 

Ten minutes after I got home there was a knock on the door and I opened it and let Traci in.  Still giving back some of the attitude that she and Staci had so freely given me I just said, “Back here” and led the way to the bedroom.  We undressed without words and when we were naked I said:

“New rules.  The old way was I had to eat it before I could fuck it.  The new way is that you suck before I eat.”

Her face screwed up in a grimace, but before she could say anything I said:

“Them’s the rules.  If you can’t handle it get dressed and get out.”

She glanced at her clothes that she had tossed on a chair, shrugged and went to her knees in front of me.  As blow jobs go it wasn’t bad.  I could tell that she had done it before, but not often.  I thought back to the way she and her sister had treated me and in line with the attitude I’d shown since she first grabbed my arm at the party I decided that she was going to go all the way whether she wanted to or not.  When her hummer had me very close to cumming I grabbed her head with both hands and fucked her face until I came and hen I kept a grip on her so that she was forced to swallow.  When I released her she pulled back and sputtered:

“You bastard!  You miserable fucking bastard!”

I ignored her, pushed her back down on the bed and then went down on her.  She stopped being indignant and then it was her hands gripping my head.  I ate her until my cock was hard again and then I moved up and fucked her.  It was a hard, no frills fuck and it was just what I needed to pull me out of the funk I had been in.  I fucked her hard and fast and after I came I held myself in her until I was completely soft and then I pulled out.

I couldn’t decipher the look on her face, but whatever it was that I saw pissed me off and I moved up and stuck my limp cock in her face.  She started to turn her head away and I grabbed it and pushed my cock against her lips.  She kept her mouth clamped shut until I pinched her nose and she had to open her mouth to breathe and when she did I pushed my cock into the open hole.  I held her head and moved my cock around until it started showing signs of life. I felt her tongue start to work on me and I let go of her head, spun around and went into a sixty-nine.  Once I was fully hard I fucked her for a second time.  It was another no frills fuck and when I’d cum I pulled out and fell to the bed next to her. She didn’t move and she didn’t say a word and I slipped off to sleep.

I was as surprised as all get out when I woke up in the morning and she was still on the bed beside me.  She was cuddled up next to me asleep with one leg thrown over mine and her right hand was on my cock.  My cock reacted predictably and I pushed her over onto her back and went down on her which woke her up.  When she was awake and my cock was fully hard I fucked her hard and fast until we both got off and then, without a word yet to be spoken between us, I got up and went to shower.

Maybe a minute after the water started running Traci got into the shower with me.  She said, “Do my back” and turned away to give me her back side.  I washed it and then she turned and took the rag and did my back.  Her hand slipped around to the front and she started washing my cock and I ended up fucking her from behind as she leaned against the wall.

She was dressed before I was and then she surprised me again when she said:

“You should give me a key.”

I had treated her with total indifference and fucked her for my pleasure only and she wanted to come back?  What the hell; why not.  I gave her a key and she left.  That night around nine I heard a key in the door and it opened and Traci walked in.

“I had a date tonight and it took me until twenty minutes ago to shake him.”

As she said that she was walking toward the bedroom shedding clothes.

Traci came by two or three times a week for the next four months and then one morning after a strenuous night she handed me her key.

“I’ve met someone who might just be the right one.  If it doesn’t work out I may ask for it back.”

Apparently the guy was the ‘right one’ and she married him.  I never got to fuck her again.  There had been no love or affection between us and we had never – not once – kissed, but we satisfied each other and in the end I guess that was what counted.

The time with Traci did help me get past the loss of Aggie although her memory would stay with me for years and years.  With Traci out of the picture I started dating again. I scored enough to keep me happy, but I never found a woman who interested me enough to set up house with her.

Until I met Samantha.

+++++++++++++++++++

It was at a family barbecue held at – of all places – Staci and Brad’s house.  Staci and Brad had a Koi pond in their back yard and I was standing next to it watching the fish when a voice behind me said:

“I want one of these some day only I want to have a waterfall with mine.”

I turned to see an absolutely stunning redhead with hazel eyes.  She offered me her hand and said:

“I’m Samantha, but most people call me Sam.”

I took her hand and introduced myself and she asked, “Friend or family?”

“Family.  Staci is my cousin.”

“Your wife here with you?”

“Don’t got me one of them things.  Your husband going to get upset with you for talking to strange men?”

“Don’t got me one of them things and just how strange are you?”

“I’ve been know to go totally bonkers over gorgeous redheads.”

We talked and I found out she was a sorority sister of Staci and Traci’s and that they had stayed in touch.

“Ouch!” I said.

“What means this ouch?”

“Neither of my cousins will have anything good to say about me.  I’m shot down before I even have a chance.”

“Actually both of them speak very highly of you and in fact that is one of the reasons I came over to talk to you.”

“Are you serious?”

“Absolutely.  I’ve known the two of them forever and they rarely have anything nice to say about most guys so their speaking highly of you intrigued me and here I am.”

“Does this “being intrigued” mean that you might accept an invitation to have dinner with me?”

“Well it won’t be tonight because we are here to eat barbecue, but I have nothing planned for tomorrow night.”

For the rest of the evening she stayed by my side and one time I saw Staci looking at us and smiling.  Before she left I made arrangements to pick her up the next night at six.  That first date started a relationship that had me taking a knee in front of her seven months later and asking her to be my wife.  She accepted my proposal and six months later we took our vows.  What amazed me then and still has me shaking my head sixteen years later is that Staci was her maid of honor and Traci was one of her bridesmaids.

Sam did not come to our marriage bed a virgin an in fact, her virginity was long gone before she even met me, but so what?  Mine was just as long gone.  While we dated I treated Sam with kid gloves and was extremely careful not to do anything that might scare her off and this meant that all I did was make out with her and keep my hands to myself.  We had been dating just a little over four weeks when one night as I was kissing her goodnight on her front porch she said:

“Are you ever going to do it or am I going to have to?”

“What?”

“You know damned well what you big oaf.  We are both adults and we both know what we want.”  She paused and then said, “To hell with it; come on” and she grabbed my tie and pulled me inside her apartment with her.

We went after each other like starving wolves going after meat.  I was surprised the bed survived.  When I ate her pussy her hands dug into my hair and I thought that she would never let go.  She gave me the best head I’d ever gotten and we made love four times – a personal best for me – before falling to sleep exhausted next to each other.  Sam woke me up with a blow job which led to another session followed by a shower that almost led to us playing again.  As I was dressing Sam asked:

“You aren’t sorry are you?”

“Yes, I guess I am.  Sorry that I didn’t do it sooner.”

“Don’t be.  If you had pushed like some others I dated we might never have reached this point.  The fact that you wanted to be with me bad enough that you didn’t want to risk being too forward is what convinced me to do what I did tonight.”

After that night we made love three or four times a week.  Some times at her place and some times at mine.  There was no doubt in my mind that I was going to ask her to marry me, but I held off because she didn’t give any indication that she wanted to get married.  It was another case of not doing anything that would scare her off.  As it had been with our making love it was Sam who got things started.  One night at dinner she asked:

“Are we going anywhere or are all we are is friends with benefits?”

I got up from the table, went down on my knees and in front of forty other diners in the restaurant I proposed.  When she told Staci and Traci they looked at me and Staci said:

“It took you long enough.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

Several years went by and things were great.  I was doing fine at work and Sam was doing exceptionally well where she worked.  She’d had three promotions and was a regional manager.  Her region had nine offices and she had to visit them on the average of once a month.  Six of the nine were far enough away that she would have to spend the night.  Two were located so that she could visit one, drive to the next at the end of the day, check into a motel for the night visit the office the next day and be home that night.  The other two were located far enough away that she would be gone two nights when she visited each one.  The traveling didn’t cause any problems for us because it only meant that there would be six or seven nights a month that she wouldn’t be home.

At home our life was great.  Our sex life was marvelous with us making love three, four and sometimes five nights a week.  Sam was a very sexual woman and had a huge sexual appetite and she liked it all.  It was Sam who gave me my first anal sex.  It was about a month before our wedding and we had just finished making love when she asked:

“How come you have never asked for my ass?”

“I’ve never thought about it.  It isn’t something that I’ve ever done and it has never entered my mind.”

“Well, just so you know, I like it in my butt.”

After that anal sex became a regular part of our sex life.  I point out Sam’s sexual nature to set the stage for what happened a month after our sixth wedding anniversary.

The manager of one of her far away offices had a death in the family and had to go back east.  He would be gone at least a week and there was no one in the office qualified to step up and run things while he was gone.  Sam was going to have to go and run the office until he got back.

Over dinner she said, “I don’t know how I’m going to handle it.”

“Nonsense.  You ran your own office before becoming a regional.”

“Not that part.  I don’t know how I’m going to handle a week or more without making love.”

“So don’t.”

“Don’t what?”

“Go without sex.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“When you get randy go to one of the local hot spots, pick out a stud and make his night.”

“You can’t mean that.  You can’t possibly think that I would do something like that.”

“Why not?  You have already heard my views on love and sex.”

And she had.  One night about three months after we started making love and after a very strenuous evening that had exhausted me she had casually asked:

“Do you ever miss what you were doing with Staci and Traci?”

I had looked at her in surprise.  How in the world had she known about them?  She recognized the look and had said:

“Don’t act so surprised.  I’ve already told you that I’ve known them forever and that we are close.  They both told me how good you were at eating pussy and that was the main reason I approached you at that barbecue.  I’d never been able to get a guy to go down on me.  I had expected to leave the barbecue with you and get my itch scratched, but you seemed so nice that I decided to back off and see if something might develop between us and now I’m glad that I did.”

That’s when I told her how I looked at love and sex.

“The twins were just sex and there was no love or affection involved so no, I don’t miss them.  Why should I?  I’m getting more from you than I can handle.”

She just shook her head and went to work to try and get me up again.  Now, years later, I said it again:

“Sex is a physical need.  You just said that you didn’t know if you can handle going without for a week or more so don’t.  If you feel the need go ahead and take care of it.  As far as I’m concerned it isn’t cheating if you are honest and up front about it.  It is only cheating – at least as far as I’m concerned – if it is done behind my back and you try to hide it.  I wouldn’t want names or details.  A simple “I got horny, went out for a drink or two and I met a guy and he took the edge off for me” is all that I would need to know.”

“I couldn’t do that.  I couldn’t step out on you like that.”

“Your choice my love.  I’m just giving you the option.  Just remember that the offer is there if an occasion should ever arise that might make you want to change your mind.  All I’m asking for is honesty.”

“I appreciate that you love me enough to offer to let me do something like that, but I couldn’t.  I just couldn’t.”

“Sweetheart, you can’t go two days without trying to drag me into the bedroom.  I know damned well that you are hurting when you are out on your trips and gone for a couple of days.  I know you stop in at the hotel or motel bar after work for a drink or two and I know damned well that you get hit on a lot.  All I’m saying is that you have blanket permission if you find some one you think you might want to try.”

“It doesn’t matter Rob; I’m never going to do it.”

She was gone nine days and never said a word to me about any ‘itch scratching’ so I doubted that she did anything.  It became somewhat of a habit that whenever she would be gone for a couple of days I would say just before she left:

“Make sure that any stud you hook up with knows that you are coming home to me” and she would say something like “Yeah; like I would find a stud.”

 And as far as I knew she never did.

Once she did say something that made me think that she might be considering it.  She asked:

“Do the same rules apply to you when I’m gone?”

“What do you mean?”

“You say that sex is a physical need so you must get horny when I’m gone for a while.  If you go out and find some honey do I get the same honesty you talk about?”

“Of course you would, but in my case it isn’t likely to happen.”

“Oh?  And why not?”

“You have a much greater sex drive than I do.  I can go a week or two without climbing walls.  You are different.  You went nuts when I pulled that muscle in my back and had to go six days without.  I won’t say that I’d never do it, but it would take something like you being gone for a month or so.”

That was true.  I got so much from Sam that I’d never even considered having sex with another woman and I didn’t expect that I ever would.  As far as I knew Sam never did take me up on my offer to let her play if she needed to even though I was absolutely okay with her doing it as long as she was honest about it.

And then things changed and not for the better.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Sam had left the house early to have a breakfast meeting with two of her managers and as I was putting my breakfast dishes in the dishwasher I noticed her day planner on the counter.  I didn’t know if she would need it or not, but I had to drive right by her office on my way to work so I thought I would drop it off.

As I walked through the building I waved at several of the people I knew from attending office partied with Sam and I walked into her office just as her telephone answering machine was giving out the “leave a message” announcement.  I’d just placed her day planner on her desk when I heard:

“Good morning sexy lady.  I got in last night and checked into room 127 at the Super 8 on Foster.  I get out of training at four and should be in my room by four-thirty.  Looking forward to seeing you.  I’ll be ready and waiting.  Bye.”

As I listened to the message I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.  There could have been a hundred different ways to take that call, but unfortunately I’m not much for practicing denial.  I knew what the message meant and it damned near killed me.

At ten I got a call at work from Sam telling me that she was stopping after work for drinks with some of the people from her office.

“I won’t be late.  I should be home by eight.  Love you.”

“Love you too.  Have fun.”

At four I was parked where I could see the door of room 127.  At four-twenty a Honda Civic pulled up in front of 127 and a man got out and went into the room.  I recognized him from Sam’s office Christmas parties.  His name was Tom Ashley and he worked in one of Sam’s far away offices.  One of the ones where she had to stay overnight.  At four fifty-five a 1993 Ford Mustang convertible that I knew very well pulled up and parked next to the Civic and Sam got out.  She walked up to room 127, knocked on the door, it opened and she and Ashley embraced, kissed and went into the room.  I sat there and watched that fucking door until seven-thirty and then I drove on home.

I was sitting on the couch with a glass of Jack over ice in my hand and watching some meaningless drivel on the TV when Sam got home.  I looked at my watch and saw that it was eight o’clock on the dot.  She walked into the living room, saw me and said:

“Hi honey.”

“Hi yourself.  Have fun in room 127 with the people from work?”

Her face lost all of its color as I said, “I think that maybe you should move your things into the guest bedroom for now.”

“Why?  I didn’t do anything wrong.  You’ve told me for years I could do it.”

“That’s only half true Samantha and you know it.  Yes I did say that it would be okay, but only if it was above board and by that I meant that I knew about it.  Otherwise it would be cheating and you knew that.  From the message I heard when I dropped your day planner off at your office it was obvious that today wasn’t the first time so that means that you have been cheating on me and lying to me for some time now.”

“You aren’t being fair Rob.  You know my sexual appetite and you have always said that I could do something about it if I needed to.  The fact that I didn’t let you know shouldn’t be a factor.  So I didn’t tell you; so what?  You still told me it was okay for me to make it with another man.  You have to look at it from my point of view.  I love you and the last thing I want to do is hurt you. 

“Do you have any idea of the war going on inside my head?  One part is saying “Rob says it is okay so go on.  You are horny so take care of it.  Another part is saying “Don’t do it.  Rob doesn’t really mean it.  He only tells you it is okay because he knows that you would never do it.  A third part is saying “He said you could do it, but if you do how will he really take it?  What happens if you do it and he finds that it really bothers him?  What happens if he feels threatened by it?  What if he takes it to mean that he isn’t man enough for you?  Can you take the chance?  The answer was no I couldn’t.

“I couldn’t tell you since in my mind that meant taking a chance on losing you and that is one chance that I wasn’t going to take.  Today was a mistake and I know it.  I should have stuck to only doing it when I was out of town and really, really horny, but I don’t really like the idea of picking up men in bars.  You never know what you are getting and that could be bad.  I decided that if I did do it I needed to do it with someone safe, someone there would be no emotional entanglements with.  A friend with benefits as it were.

“Tom filled the bill.  He works in the Walton office and one night I was in the hotel bar having a drink when he came in.  I waved him over to join me and we talked.  His wife is pregnant and refuses to make love and he was as horny as hell and so was I and we ended up in my room.  I agreed to meet him when he came here for training because I wanted to keep him on the string.  He is perfect for what I wanted.  Sex with no entanglements.  He loves his wife and has no intension of ever leaving her.  I do not consider what I did when out of town cheating since you have always told me to go for it.

“Was I dishonest in not telling you?  In a way I guess I was, but I only kept quiet about it because I was afraid how you would really take it.  Face it Rob; telling your wife that it okay for her to have sex with another man is not normal behavior.  I only did it because I had your permission and it wasn’t until it was over that I started worrying about how you really might react when I old you what I’d done.  I wasn’t willing to take the chance of losing you.”

“That’s just you rationalizing Samantha.  The fact still remains that you knew the conditions that were attached to that permission.  Without you honoring those conditions what you did was cheating.  You need to move your things out of what used to be our bedroom and into the guest bedroom until I decide what I’m going to do.”

“What do you mean until you decide what to do?”

“I’ll need an attorney’s advice on what I should do and then I’ll have to decide what to do about the house.  Buy out your half and keep it, let you buy me out or put it up for sale and split the proceeds.”

“Oh no Rob; there isn’t going to be any divorce over this.  I will not allow it.”

“You have no say in it Samantha.  This is a no fault state and I can divorce you without giving a reason.  You can fight it and maybe slow it down, but you can’t stop it.  I’m going out for a bit.  Please be moved by the time I come back.”

I drove to Bud’s Bar and plopped myself down on a stool and for the next hour I drank to the stupidity of it all.  It was just so fucking unnecessary.  All she had to do was be up-front with me and there wouldn’t have been any problems.  Sam could rationalize it any way she wanted to, but the bottom line was that she went behind my back and in my book that was cheating.

When I got home the house was dark and I headed up o the bedroom.  I turned on the light and saw that Samantha was on the bed.

“I thought I told you to move to one of the other rooms.”

“You did.”

“Then why are you here?”

“Because this is my bed as well as yours.  This is where I belong and I’m staying right here.”

I shrugged, walked over to the bed and grabbed my pillow and started out of the room.

“Where are you going?”

“To another bedroom.  The whole point of telling you to move was because I didn’t want to be anywhere near you.  That hasn’t changed.”

I walked across the hall and went into the bedroom we usually used for her family when they visited.  I had just started nodding off when the door opened and Samantha came into the room.  She moved to the bed, got in beside me and reached for my cock.  As soon as her hand closed around it I came fully awake and gave her a hard shove and she fell off the bed.

“Get the fuck away from me!” I yelled.  “It is bad enough that you cheated, but now you want to give me sloppy seconds?  You really think I’ll touch you coming to me from another man’s bed?”

“It wouldn’t be sloppy seconds Rob.  I’ve showered and I’ve douched.  There isn’t a trace of him on me and you can’t say that you don’t want me.  I only had my hand on you for a few seconds and you were getting hard.”

“I get hard looking at clothed pictures of Catherine Zeta Jones but that doesn’t mean that I’ll fuck her.  The fact remains that you are only off the bed you cheated on me on for less than four hours.  Get out of here Samantha and just stay the hell away from me.”

She got up off the floor and left the room.

I woke up in the morning with Samantha wrapped around me.  I stirred and she knew I was waking and she slid down and took my cock in her mouth.  By the time I was fully awake I was fully hard and Sam’s mouth had me going.  My cock didn’t give a rat’s ass about how I felt about what Samantha had done.  She was working on him and the ‘little head’ was in temporary charge.  Sam took me all the way and swallowed when I erupted and when my cock was soft she let it fall from her mouth.  She moved up and tucked her body in next to mine.

“I’m sorry baby; I’m really sorry.  I was afraid to tell you because I honestly didn’t want to take the chance that it might hurt you.  I swear to God I just didn’t want to hurt you.  Please baby, please forgive me.  I’ll never do it again.  I promise you that I will never do it again.”

To shorten things I did forgive her and after a couple of ‘trying’ months we got back to where we had been before.

A year went by and Sam still made trips to her regional offices, but she was never gone for more than a couple of days and as far as I knew she never got horny enough on any of those trips to look for help.  The only change was that I never again joked about her making sure that any stud she hooked up with knew that she would be coming home to me.

+++++++++++++++++++++++

Then the planets aligned themselves into just the right position to cause changes in our lives.  I was promoted and my new position required that I do some traveling.  I would be on the road an average of once a month and be gone anywhere from three to ten days.  At about the same time the powers that be at Sam’s place of employment decided to reorganize and Sam’s region was changed.  She kept all of her old offices, but was given three more on the other side of the state.  Those three could be covered in one trip, but that one trip would take all week.

Predictably the changes played hell with our sex lives.  Sam, having a much larger sex drive than I had started getting irritable and pissy because she wasn’t getting what she was used to getting.  Things came to a head after a particularly bad spell.  I had been gone for a week and Sam damned near destroyed me on the weekend I was back.  The next week was her one week visit to the other side of the state and when she came home we had another exhausting weekend and on Monday I left for a three day trip.  When I got home Thursday I was too damned whipped to do more than go with her one time on Thursday night and her frustration finally boiled over.

“God damn that fucking job of yours.  Why did you have to take that damned job anyway?”

“You know the answer to that.  The money and the perks.”

“Fuck the money and the perks!  I need you in our bed.  I’m going nuts over the lack of a love life.”

“So take care of it.”

“Oh no!  No fucking way!  You know what happened last time and I’m not going there again.  Besides, I promised that I’d never do it again.”

“As far as I’m concerned what you promised is that you would never do it again without telling me.  You need it and you know it.  You get all pissy when you go without too long and that doesn’t need to be.  When you need it get it.  It doesn’t even have to be only on your trips. If you need it bad and I’m on a trip get the itch taken care of.  I’d much rather come home to a happy and smiling wife instead of an irritable bitch.”

“You mean that?  You are really okay with it??”

“As long as it is just sex yes.  No emotional entanglements, just straight up get rid of the hornies sex.  One thing though.  If you do it at home while I’m on a trip you don’t do it here.  Never in our house.”

++++++++++++++++++++++

It didn’t take Sam long to take me up on my offer.  Two weeks later I was on a five day trip and on the third day of the trip I made my nightly phone call to check in and didn’t get an answer.  I called three times before I gave it up and went to bed.  In the morning I got my six o’clock wake up call from the front desk and I’d just hung up the phone when it rang again.

“Hello?”

“Good morning my love.  I just wanted to call and tell you that I love you.”

“I love you too baby.  I tried to call you last night, but never could get you.”

“I stopped after work with a couple of the girls from the office.  I got hit on by a cute guy and after several drinks and dances I went home with him.”

“Have a good time?”

“You will be coming home to a smiling and happy wife.”  There was a slight pause and then, “Are we all right honey?”

“We are fine my love.  I need to get going, but I’ll call you tonight.”

There was another pause and then Sam said, “If it is all right with you I may not be here.”

“This ‘cute guy’ going to cause a problem?  You know my position on getting entangled.”

“It isn’t that baby.  He wasn’t the only guy who came on to me and you know me and sex.  The more I get the more I want.  I’d like to be smiling and really, really happy when you come home.”

“Okay.  A change in routine then.  Instead of me calling you, from now on you call me when you are home.”

“Thank you lover.  I do love you.”

“I love you too Sam. See you in two days.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++

It was like letting the genie out of the bottle.  From that time on any time I was gone for more than two days Sam would stop after work with her friends from the office and she would usually end up with some ‘cute guy’.  They were always ‘cute guys’ even though I’m sure that most of them were not all that cute.

If Sam was gone on one of her trips for more than two days I’d get a call saying, “I was bad last night honey.”  When Sam was sexually satisfied she was happy and when she was happy she kept me happy.  It was a truism that the more she got the more she wanted and as a result I got more than I could handle.  I actually had days when I went home hoping that she would leave me alone that night.

It was one of those nights – a night I hoped that I could rest – that the next step in our evolving relationship took place.  Sam called me at work and said that if I didn’t mind she was going to stop for a few with the people from work.  I told her to go ahead and enjoy herself and then I went home and fixed some leftovers for dinner.  I was watching TV when the phone rang.  It was Sam.

“Can I ask for a big favor baby?”

“What?”

“I’m really, really horny and there is this cute guy who is doing his absolute best to land me.  Can I have him baby?”

The first thought that flashed through my mind was to say “Fuck no you can’t.  Get your butt home” but if I said that the house would be a deep freeze for the foreseeable future so I said:

“I don’t know Sam.  We are both home and our arrangement has always been to do it when I’m on a trip or you are.”

“I know baby, but I would really, really like to do this.”

It was probably a mistake on my part, but I told her to go ahead and have fun.  My thinking wouldn’t have appeared all that rational to some one looking at it from the outside, but I was tired and hoping for a restful night and if she was as horny as she said she was she would be coming home and taking it out on me.  Besides, I was already letting her play around outside the marriage so what was one more time?

I went to bed around ten and I guess I fell right to sleep.  Something woke me up and I rolled over and looked at the clock and saw that it was almost one in the morning and what had woken me up was the shower running.  Sam came into the room wiping herself off with a towel and she saw that I was awake.

“I didn’t want to wake you.  I’m sorry baby, but I didn’t want to snuggle up against you with his smell still on me.”

I told her it was okay and then she said, “As long as you are awake anyway” and her hand went to my cock.  I may have wanted an evening of rest, but it had always reacted to her touch and it did again.  She slid down and took me in her mouth and worked on me for a while and I reached the point where I needed to get off.  I’d never been able to get off getting head so I pulled Sam up and rolled her over on her back.  She tried to push me away as she said:

“No baby; not now.  I showered, but I didn’t douche.”

I knew what she was saying.  If I made love to her I was going to feel him – sloppy seconds – but I was too far gone to stop.  To be honest about it she didn’t feel any different – not wetter or sloppy – and I pounded away until I got my nut and then we cuddled and fell asleep.

She was kind of quiet in the morning over breakfast and I finally had to ask:

“Something wrong?”

She looked away for a couple of seconds and then said, “I’m worried that what I did last night was out of bounds and that you might not too happy with me.”

“I will admit I almost told you that I didn’t want you to do it, but then I thought about the fact that you seem to need way more than I can provide.  What you have been doing for the last year hasn’t hurt us so I decided to let you do it.  We’re okay babe.”

I wasn’t thinking when I said that.  If I had been thinking I probably would have said:

“We are okay this time, but from now on let’s hold it down to when one of us is out of town.”

But I didn’t say that and Sam took my “We’re okay” to mean that she could do it more often on her girls nights out. 

Over the next six months when she wasn’t on the road she would stop with the people from work once a week and I would get a call maybe three out of every five times asking if I’d mind if she’d be a little late.  It did bother me a little, but I was the one who opened the door to the cage and set her loose.  On the other hand our home life was fantastic.  I had all the love and affection that any man could ask for and I had more sex than I could handle.  I have heard it said that there is no such thing as nymphomania, but I had come to believe that Sam, if not a nymphomaniac, was as close to being one as you could get.  I doubt that our life style would work for many other husbands and wives, but it was working for us.

+++++++++++++++++++

The next step in the evolution of our marriage came one Thursday after one of Sam’s nights out with her group from work.  I had a feeling that something was coming because Sam had set out wine with our dinner and that was something that rarely happened except for weekends and holidays.  After dinner Sam asked:

“Can I broach a ticklish subject with you?”

“Of course.”

“First let me say up front that I’m with you one hundred percent on your feeling about entanglements with those I play with.  That said I want to ask your permission to see a guy more than once.”

I guess a change must have come over my face because she quickly said, “I isn’t any one particular guy honey.  It is just that it is such a hassle doing the same ‘meeting dance’ with a guy every time I go out.  If I find a good one I’d like to be able to keep on with him for a couple of weeks or so.  Besides, I feel like such a slut leaving the bar with a different guy each week.  I mean I am a slut and we both know it, but I would like to try it.”

I thought about it for a bit and then said, “I don’t know Sam; it sounds like it has the potential for some emotional attachment and I couldn’t have that.”

“It wouldn’t be that way baby.  You are the love of my life and that will never change and you should know that.”

“There is another thing.  You start seeing just one guy and he is going to press for more of your time.  He isn’t going to want to be limited to just one night a week.”

“He would have to accept it.  He would know that I’m married and that I couldn’t get out of the house all that often without making my husband suspicious, but there is something else.  There are times I know you wish I would leave you alone.  Don’t bother denying it; I can always tell when that happens.  When you are in one of those periods I could call my current boyfriend and tell him that I could sneak away if he was interested.  It is just a thought baby.”

“I don’t know Sam.  I’m not comfortable with it and I’m going to have to think on it.”

I did think about it and the bottom line was that I had been trusting Sam all along so there didn’t seem to be any reason for not trusting her in what she wanted to do and so I gave her my permission.

Over the next eight months Sam hooked up with a guy, kept him for three or four weeks and then dropped him.  In the second month she did start seeing her new guy about twice a week and then twice a week became the norm.

At home nothing changed.  Well I guess that wasn’t really so.  One thing changed and it surprised both Sam and me.  The thoughts about what Sam was doing started getting to me and turning me on.  I was so wound up one night that when she came home I grabbed her, bent her over the back of the couch and took her from behind.  It happened a couple of more times and then Sam stopped taking showers as soon as she got home and before getting in bed with me.  She would suck my cock, but I wouldn’t go down on her.  I drew the line at that.

And then……

++++++++++++++++++

It was the eighth month since she started doing the same guy for weeks at a time and one Thursday  night Sam surprised me by asking if I would mind terribly if she went away for a weekend with her current boyfriend.  She had never done that before.  I’d thought she was almost done with him since she had never stayed with one of her lovers for more than four weeks and this guy was going on five.  I didn’t answer her right away and she quickly told me to never mind, but I knew she would spend the whole weekend pouting and being in a pissy mood so I told her to go ahead.  The tone of my voice told her how I really felt about it, but it didn’t stop her from going.

I spent a very bad weekend thinking about Sam and what she was doing and she still wasn’t home when I went to bed Sunday night.  When she did get home she was so quiet that she didn’t wake me up and she was sound asleep when I got up to go to work in the morning. 

Sam managed to avoid me for the next two days and it wasn’t until Thursday that we talked. She apologized for her behavior and asked me to forgive her.  She knew I wasn’t happy with her spending the weekend with her toy, but it was something that she felt she had to do.  She was getting ready to dump him because he was starting to get possessive, but she wanted one last time with him.  It seems that he had a very large cock.  Bigger than anything she had ever seen before and she doubted that she would ever see one that big again and she wanted one last full and stuffed feeling.  She promised that she would never do it again.

What could I say?  I’m the one who opened the door to all of it so it was mostly on me.  I don’t know what Sam saw on my face, but whatever it was she misread it and she got up and ran from the room crying.  I followed her up to the bedroom and tried to get her to stop crying and tell me what was wrong.  It took me a while to get her quieted down and then she said, “I’m sorry.  I know I’ve ruined it for us.  I know you hate me for going off on that weekend” and then she started crying again and I couldn’t get her to stop.  I decided to let things be until she could talk without crying.

The next night we sat down when I got home from work and hashed things out.  She felt that she had let me down and that now I wouldn’t trust her any more.  I was honest with her and told her that I did indeed feel that she had let me down.  I told her that the concept of letting her have her fun was based on her always coming home to me and that her weekend getaway actually had me wondering if I hadn’t lost her.  I told her that I had actually wondered if she would be coming home from her weekend.  At that she burst out crying and ran up to the bedroom.  I didn’t follow and when I went up to go t bed she was already asleep.  The next morning she work me up with a blow job, told me that I would never have to worry about her coming home to me and that she would never again give me reason to doubt her.

+++++++++++++++++++++

After that came two months of Sam not stopping with the people from work and she had gotten back to the irritable and pissy stage.  Her ‘infamous’ weekend was still on my mind so I didn’t say:

“For Christ’s sake go out and get laid and stop being a miserable bitch!”

Finally she asked if I would mind if she stopped after work with the crew.  After a moments hesitation that I’m sure that she noticed I said that it would be okay with me.  That girl’s night out turned out to be different than any of the other previous ones.  She did hook up with a ‘cute guy’ but he was with a group and when the people that Sam worked with had gone she joined the ‘cute guy’s’ group.  They left the bar and went to some one’s house to continue the party.  The next morning she told me:

“I was really, really bad baby.  I did three guys at the party.  It was a first for me and it was wild.”

I wasn’t all that happy when I heard that.  Letting her play was one thing, but becoming a train puller wasn’t what I had in mind when I let her run, but then it was only sex right?  She met with her cute guy a couple of more times over the next couple of weeks, but never went to another party,  At least not that I knew of.

Sam bonded with a couple of girls at that party with the result being another rocky period in our lives.  One Sunday after a lazy afternoon of sitting on the patio drinking margaritas Sam asked:

“Can I ask you for a really huge favor?”

“You can ask, but I won’t promise that you will get it.  What is it?”

“Don’t laugh and don’t get pissed at me okay?”

“Go ahead Sam; what is it?”

“I feel guilty about my having my sexual fun while you don’t.  Actually it’s more like I’m uncomfortable knowing that I’m playing outside the marriage and that you don’t.  I know you say that it is okay and that you don’t mind, but I’d feel a lot better if you got yourself a piece of strange.  I can’t explain it honey, but it just doesn’t set well with me and it makes me nervous and uncomfortable.  My favor is that I want you to have another woman.”

I laughed at that and then said, “Don’t think I can do that sweetie.  I’m just not the kind of guy who can go out and try to pick up a woman.  I wouldn’t know how.  I mean I never even did that when I was single.”

“That’s okay.  Just say that you will do it and I’ll do the rest.”

“You’ll do the rest?”

“I’ll take you to a party and introduce you as my cousin from out of town.  I know there will be a couple of girls there who will take a shot at you.”

“And just how do you know this?” I asked.

It turns out that the group she fell into when she hooked up with her current ‘cute guy’ invited her to a party.  She told them she wouldn’t be able to sneak away from her husband and they laughed and said to bring him.  She told them she couldn’t because she didn’t want her husband to know that she screwed around.

“If you will go I can call Fred (her ‘cute guy’) and tell him I’ve found a way to get out of the house.  I’ll tell them that my cousin is visiting and I can use him as an excuse.  I’ll say that hubby doesn’t like my cousin so he won’t want to come along when I take my cousin out to show him where the night life is in town.  Please baby?  Please do it?  I’ll feel so much better about what I’m doing if I know you have done it too.”

“I don’t know if I can watch you with another man.  Letting you go out and do your thing and sitting at home knowing that you are doing it is a hell of lot different from actually seeing it.  I have no idea of how I might react.”

“You won’t have to see it.  The party is at a home and there will be more than one room.  I’ll be in another room so you won’t see a thing.”

To be completely honest about it I really didn’t want to go.  I had no interest in having sex with another woman.  Sam was more than enough for me, but she kept after me and I finally gave in and went to the party with her as her cousin.

It turned out that when she had called Fred to say she would be coming she set up a blind date for me with one of the girls who she had partied with the night she fell in with the group.  I was introduced to Laura and then Fred took Sam by the hand and led her off.

I had a few drinks and talked a while with Laura and then she said:

“I love parties like this.  Everyone knows why they are here.  It is so much better than going to a bar and hoping you can hook up with a decent guy.  I’m ready sweetie; are you?”

I set my drink down and said, “I’m new here.  Where do we go?”

She laughed, took my hand and led me to a bedroom that had a king sized bed in it.  We quickly undressed, got on the bed and then she swung around and went down on me.  I was looking at her pussy and I knew what she wanted and I thought “In for a penny, in for a pound” and I grabbed her hips and pulled her down to me.  After several minutes of mutual munching she swung around and mounted me cowgirl. 

We were humping away when a naked Sam and Fred came into the room and got on the bed with us.  So much for Sam’s telling me that I wouldn’t have to see her with another man.

I didn’t like it!

Fred was a trash talking asshole and he was spouting a lot of crap like, “I’ll bet your loser husband doesn’t fuck you this good” and Sam went along with him and shot me through the grease with a bunch of stuff like “He has a wimpy little dick” and “He can’t fuck for shit.”  I knew that she was playing along with Fred and didn’t really mean it (or at least I hoped she didn’t) but I still didn’t care for it.  I think Sam picked up on my feelings because when we were both finished with our respective partners she said:

“I’ve always wanted to try a little incest cuz.  Want to switch partners and see if we get struck by lightening?”

I’d followed others into Sam since she started ‘dating’ and it hadn’t killed me so I said okay.  I think she did it to make it up to me for her trash talk and when we were done she told Fred that he was a better fuck than her husband, but that I was a better fuck than Fred was and she thought she might just keep the fucking in the family from now on.  I got an ego boost from Laura when she said:

“Oh no you don’t.  He’s mine” and she went down on me and got me back up for another go.  She also gave me her phone number before I left and told me to give her a call.

On the way home Sam asked me if I was going to call Laura and I said, “Probably not.”

“Why not?  You had fun and a little strange every now and then would do you good.”

“Have you forgotten how we got into this?  It was because I wasn’t able to give you all you needed. I need to save what I do have for you.”

“Nonsense.  We do just fine and it won’t upset me if you give a little of what you have to Laura or one of the others that attend the parties.  I liked it and I’d like to do it again.”

“I don’t know if I want to do it again.”

“Think on it baby?  Please think on it.  It was so much more fun for me having you there with me.”

A week later Sam wanted me to go to another party with her.  I’d thought on it and decided that I didn’t really care for it so I said no.  Sam pouted for days and kept working on me and I finally, albeit reluctantly, gave in.  She told me that she had talked with Laura and that Laura really was looking forward to seeing me again.

“Just remember the rule; no entanglements. Laura may want you, but you are mine and I do not intend to lose you to her.”

We went to the party and after a bit Laura and I headed for a bedroom and Sam and her guy for the evening  - a guy named Jay – came along behind us.  I said that Laura and I would like a little privacy, but Sam wouldn’t have it.  We had to do it on the same bed just like the last time.  Unfortunately, like the last time, her date was a trash talking asshole and the bastard shot me through the grease the entire time we were there and Sam went right along with the program.

I didn’t speak to Sam on the ride home.  Every time she started to say something I snarled:

“Shut up Sam.  I am severally pissed and it would not be a good thing for me to say anything right now.”

When she slid over next to me and reached for me cock I pushed her hand away and told her to leave me alone.

All during the drive I was thinking “Does she go along with the trash talk because she really means it and it is her way of putting something over on me while making me think she is just doing it to go along with the flow?”  I didn’t used to feel insecure, at least not until Sam took off for her weekend.  I don’t know that I’ll ever get over that.  That and how I felt while she was gone.  Had I not been getting the job done and Sam had been faking it all along?  I remembered the movie “When Harry Met Sally” (or was it When Sally Met Harry?) when Sally demonstrated how easy it was for a woman to fake it.  Was Sam’s going along with the trash talk how she really felt?

Then I had a nasty thought.  Did those guys trash talk because they knew I was Sam’s husband and not her cousin?  Was it their way of rubbing my face in the fact that they were fucking my wife in front of me?  The more I thought about it the more I began to think that the people at both parties were aware that I was Sam’s husband.  What were the odds that Sam would end up with a trash talking partner two parties in a row?

When we got home I was primed.  I leaped into her shit with both feet.  I flat out asked her if the guy she was fucking knew that I was really her husband and not her cousin and she looked away from me and didn’t answer which of course was all the answer that I needed.  Then I asked her if the people we had gotten together with the first time knew the truth.  Again I got no answer and she wouldn’t look at me.  I screamed at her to answer the fucking question and she started crying and finally admitted that every one knew who I was.

I just stared at her in disgust and then said, “So tell me Sam; did you have a good time humiliating me?  Or maybe all the shit you said in response to what those two assholes were saying was how you really feel about me huh?”

She tried to run out of the room, but I grabbed her and pushed her down on the couch and told her she wasn’t going anywhere until after she had answered all of my questions.  It turns out that it was a turn on for her to do it.  She said that I knew it wasn’t true so there was no harm done.

I was pissed!!!

Seven people at the first party and eleven at the second one and all laughing at me behind my back.  Then I unloaded on her.  I told her that I was the one who freed her up so she could do what she was doing so I had no bitch coming over that part of it, but she was NEVER to tell me about anything she did from then on and she was NOT EVER to ask me to have anything to do with what she did from then on.  Then I told her I was too pissed at her to be anywhere near her and that I would be staying in one of the spare bedrooms and then I stomped out of the room.

Things were cold around the house after that.  Sam tried to ‘make nice but I wasn’t having any of it.  I was just too fucking pissed.  Sam kept trying to smooth things over, but I was too bent out of shape for her to get anywhere.  I had given her permission to play as long as it was all above board and I knew and then she goes and cheats on me behind my back.  We worked through that, I put it behind me and let her go play and then she pulled that weekend shit on me.  We got by that and then she goes and pulls this party shit.  I love the stupid cunt, but I’m now at the point that I just don’t trust her any more.

Three weeks went by with me not saying any more than I had to to Sam.  She was trying hard to ‘make up’ but I was still way too pissed.  I couldn’t get it out of my mind that her trash talk was real; that she meant what she said and that she knew she could get away with it by saying that she was ‘just playing the game’ and going along.  I will admit that I probably wouldn’t feel the way I was if it wasn’t for the fact that she played me for a fool by letting every one know I was her husband and then making me believe that every one thought that I was her cousin from out of town.

Those three weeks went by with me still in one of the spare bedrooms.  Sam hadn’t gone out since our blow up so that meant she hadn’t been laid in three weeks so she had to be going crazy.  The down side was that I hadn’t been laid either so I did something that I had never done before.  I still had the phone number that Laura had given me so I called her.  We talked and then arranged to meet after work for a drink.  After one drink Laura said:

“Why are we wasting time sitting here?  We both know what we want to happen.”

To answer her I took my cell phone out and called home.  Sam answered and I said “I won’t be home tonight and disconnected.

Laura said “That was short and to the point.  I think I detected a touch of “and if you don’t like it tough shit” in it.”

“That pretty much sums it up.”

“Things not so hot on the home front?”

“Haven’t been since that last party we went to.”

“Why?  You seemed to enjoy it.  You liked it enough to give me a call.”

“Things just didn’t set well with me.”

“Why not?”

I told her how humiliated I felt after what Sam did to me.

“So what.  All it was was sex.  So she got off playing her little game.  It doesn’t change the fact that she loves you.  Everyone at those parties is playing a game of some kind.  You were playing a game pretending to be her cousin.  Fred was playing a game when he trash talked.  It was a turn on for him to be able to say that stuff in front of the woman’s husband knowing that he wouldn’t get the shit beat out of him.  I’ve had Fred a dozen times and he has never trash talked with me.

“I play my own game.  Did you know that Steve is my husband?  No one at the parties knows it.  He watches me and when we get home he goes down on me and cleans me out.  It is what turns him on.  It turns me on to look down at him and see him play vacuum cleaner.  I get so turned on that I almost fuck the poor man to death.  Sex is fun lover and different people have different ideas of what fun is.  You have to realize that.  Sex and love are not the same.  Enough of this stuff.  Take me somewhere and fuck me.”

As I drove home what Laura had said reminded me that my stance had always been sex is sex and love is love and they didn’t necessarily have to go hand in hand.  In fact that was the main reason for my being able to let Sam go out and play.  Was I being too much of an asshole toward Sam?  I did say “Go ahead, it is okay with me and by going with Sam to the parties with her wasn’t I giving her my stamp of approval?

 The car was suddenly jarred as I hit a pothole and it got my attention back on my driving and off my mushy thoughts.  Yes I did say okay and yes I guess my attendance at the parties did give my approval, but it was only approval for sex outside of the marriage.  It was not an okay to humiliate me and play games on me.  According to Laura every one was playing their fun games and every one had different ideas when it came to ‘fun games’ but to me a game was something you played – not something to be played on you.

When I got home Sam was waiting up for me.  “We have to talk Rob.”

“Not now Samantha.  I’ve just spent an exhausting evening with Laura and I need to get some sleep.  Can’t go into work all worn out.”

“That’s not fair Rob.  We haven’t made love in over three weeks.  It should be me and not Laura.”

“I didn’t see it that way Samantha.  Laura hasn’t lied to me and humiliated me in front of others.  I feel comfortable around a woman like that.”

“Damn it Rob!  Why won’t you see that it doesn’t mean anything?  It was just fun.  You know that none of what those guys said is true.  I got off, they got off and I know that you got off with Laura.  As for humiliation?  So fucking what!  Does anything that those people might think of you matter?  You don’t know any of them and other than at the parties you never have any interaction with any of them.  Do you care what the mailman or the garbage man think of you?  How about the check out clerk at the grocery store?  Those people mean nothing to you so why do you give a fuck about what they think!

“You think that they think all that highly of me?  Of course they don’t.  To them I’m just a married woman who fucks around.  A slut as far as they are concerned.  Do I care?  Fuck no!  They serve a purpose.  They give me fun sexually and that’s all.  Once I leave the party I don’t even think about them so what the hell do I care about what they think.  The only important thing is that I love you.  I love the fact that you love me and trust me enough to let me go out and play, but it isn’t working.  No matter how much fun it is and how much I enjoy it it isn’t worth what we are going through because of it.  I’m not going to do it any more.  I’m not going to kill my marriage because of it.  Now please take me to bed and make love to me?  I’ve never had sloppy seconds from you before.”

++++++++++++++++++++

Six months went by and Sam made no attempts to go out on dates.  She turned down several invitations to parties put on by the group and I know it was hard on her.  Our travel schedules were pretty much the same as they had been and I knew there were times that the lack of sex was driving her up the wall, but she never said a word and soldiered on.

It was the first week in June and she came home on a Tuesday and told me that the manager of the Wagner office had died of a heart attack and she was going to have to go and run the office until she could make a decision on who to promote as a replacement.  She told me she would be gone a week to ten days at the minimum and it might be as long as three weeks.

The Wagner office is the office where Tom Ashley worked and he was the guy I had caught her cheating on me with way back when.  As she was packing to go I asked her what she was going to do and she asked me what I meant.  I mentioned Ashley.  She told me that nothing was going to happen and I asked her why not.

“For one thing the only reason we ended up together was that his wife was pregnant and not letting him make love.  He was horny; I was horny and it happened.  I’m sure that his wife is back to taking care of him now.  For another thing I don’t want the grief that always seems to come out of me playing around.”

“Face facts Sam.  You will be as horny as a billy goat by the third day you are there so go ahead and enjoy yourself.  Just follow the rules and we will be okay.”

“Are you really sure you are okay with what you are telling me I can do?”

“I am sure.  As long as you hold to our original agreement we will be fine.”

I didn’t flat out say that this was her last chance, but I’m sure that she got the message.

She was gone all week and she came home Saturday morning while I was still in bed and she got in with me and did her best to ruin me.  We got up around noon and went out for breakfast and over French toast she told me about her week in Wagner.

She got to the office around ten and then stopped after work for drinks with the people from the office.  She danced a few times with the men who worked in the office, including Tom, and when the group started breaking up to go home she and Tom ended up sitting alone at a table.  She playfully asked if his wife was taking care of him now and he told her that he didn’t have a wife.  Seems that when the baby came it was obvious from the baby’s skin color that Tom wasn’t the daddy.

She found out that Tom hadn’t been laid in the nine months following his divorce becoming final so she took him to her room and they spent the night doing ‘nasty things’ and the next day she checked out of the hotel and spent the rest of the week at his apartment.  Then she said if I had no objection she was going to skip getting a hotel room when she went back and just stay with Tom.  I reminded her of how upset I got when she went off on her weekend and she told me I needn’t worry; that Tom was just a good fuck and she had absolutely no interest in him other than using him to ‘scratch her itch’ when she was in Wagner.

She spent the next week in Wagner and when she got home she told me that she had appointed a new manager so she wouldn’t have to go back except for her normal monthly swing through her region.  Then she started telling me all about her week with Tom, but I cut her off and told her that I had no interest in hearing the details.

“The only important thing for me is that you let me know when you are doing it.  As long as there is no hidden shit we will be all right.”

She shook her head and said, “You are a strange man Robert.  Okay then, if I can’t tell you I’ll just have to show you” and she pulled me along to the bedroom where she did her best to fuck me to death.

++++++++++++++++

Another couple of months went by with Sam only ‘scratching her itch’ when she was on one of her overnight trips and one time when I was gone for a week she called me at my hotel and asked if it would be all right for her to go out and play.

A couple more weeks went by and then one Wednesday she called me and told me that she wanted to stop after work for a drink or two with the girls and would it be all right and I told her the same thing I’d told her when she went to Wagner for a couple of weeks.  Basically I reminded her that she knew how I viewed things and as long as she kept that in mind she was a big girl and could make her own choices.

She called me at ten and told me that she wouldn’t be home that night.  I hung up on her, took a shower and went to bed.  Half an hour later she came home and got into bed with me and I got up and went to the guest bedroom. 

She was waiting for me in the kitchen when I got up in the morning and promptly got in my face over the way I had acted the night before.  I asked her what she expected.  She said that I wasn’t making any sense.  I’d let her spend the better part of two weeks with Tom so why was I so warped out of shape over the previous evening.  I told her to think about it and I left for work.

When I got home she was waiting and told me she had thought about it all day and still didn’t have any idea of why I was acting the way I was.  I had to point out the differences.

“With Tom I said go ahead and have fun.  Last night you simply called and told me what you were going to do.  You didn’t ask.  You didn’t wonder if it would be all right with me.  You just told me what you were going to do and in a tone of voice that had a touch of “And if you don’t like it tough” and I did not like it.  I did not like it one bit.  The difference was in the tone of voice and the words used.  A phone call saying “Something came up and would it be all right if I don’t come home tonight” would have gotten you a no problem sweetie; have fun and I’ll see you tomorrow.  Even something like “There is this cute guy and he is trying really hard, but if I let him I might not get home tonight” would have gotten you a “Good luck sweetie” but a flat “I won’t be home tonight” delivered in a tone of voice that suggested “tough shit if you don’t like it just isn’t going to work for me on top of the other shit you have pulled on me.”

I got up and went out into the garage and changed the oil in my truck.  When I came back into the house she said we still needed to talk so I told her to go ahead.

“I appreciate the freedom you have given me, but it just isn’t working.  All it seems to be doing is driving a wedge between us and I don’t want that so there will be no more playing around.”

“You don’t have to stop.  All you have to do is realize how I see your actions.  As long as I see no threat to me and my relationship with you you can have all the fun you want.  To me that means keeping me as a part of the process.  All you had to do last night was tell me what you wanted to do and see that it was okay with me.  Just telling me what you are going to do just didn’t get it for me especially after I told you how you taking off for that long ago weekend affected me.”

She started crying, came over and sat down on my lap and then swore that I would never have to worry about her coming home to me and then she took my hand, led me to the bedroom and damned near fucked me to death.

++++++++++++++++++

The next couple of weeks Sam made no effort to go out and play and then I had another bad day.  I got home and there was a message on the answering machine from Sam telling me that she was stopping for drinks with one of her girlfriends who had a guy that she wanted Sam to meet.

“If you are not okay with it call me on my cell and let me know otherwise I may be a little late in getting home so don’t wait up.”

I was pissed at that.  What was she hiding that she had to leave a message on the answering machine instead of calling me on my cell and talking to me in person.  I stewed over it for maybe an hour.  I didn’t call Sam on her cell because I knew whatever I said would lead us into another pit.  I’d sit on it until she got home and maybe then I’d have cooled down some.  Then it occurred to me that I hadn’t gotten a single call on my cell all day.  I took it out and looked at it.  The fucking thing was turned off!  I’d turned it off when I was at the dentist’s office and had forgotten to turn it back on.

I guess it just shows how easy it is for some things to get to you when you have lost complete, absolute trust in someone else.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I need to stick a few things in here that haven’t been mentioned because until this point in the tale they weren’t a factor.  Sam is in damned fine shape and she stays that way by regular trips to the gym.  There is one two blocks from her office and when she is in town that is where she spends her lunch hour.

The second thing is that we own a cabin up in the mountains.  It isn’t much; just a small one room building with a loft that is used as a bedroom, but the view from the small attached deck is spectacular.  There is no electricity or running water, but there is an outhouse for taking care of the necessaries.  It is only a weekend getaway type place and we only get up there maybe once every five or six weeks on average.

Anyway, at the gym Sam met another woman and they became friends.  The woman, Jan, was divorced and eventually Sam and Jan reached a point in their relationship where Jan started confiding in Sam.  The reason Jan was divorced was that she was a cock hungry slut.  She told her husband that he wasn’t enough for her, but that she did love him and she did want to stay with him.  BUT!  He would have to share her with others.  He said no thank you and so she left him.

I’d met Jan a time or two and she seemed nice enough.  Sam told me Jan’s history and I could see it going down that way.  At least she was up front with her husband about it and gave him the choice to keep her or not.  Jan’s opening up to Sam eventually led Sam to tell Jan about our relationship.  Jan said she wished her husband would have been more like me, but it was water over the dam.

About six months after Sam and Jan got close Jan started asking Sam if she wanted to get together some evening and go out on the prowl.  Sam kept saying that she didn’t think it would be a good idea and that she would pass, but Jan kept after her.

One morning over breakfast Sam asked me if I would mind if she went out with Jan after work.

“For dinner and drinks or something else” I asked.

“She has a guy she is interested in, but his brother is visiting from out of town.  Jan says he is a total hunk.  She wants me to go with her and keep the brother occupied so she can work her magic on the guy she is interested in.” 

I shrugged and said I didn’t mind.  She was home by eight and she told me that the guy was indeed a hunk, but he was also a twit so she bailed.

Agreeing to go out with Jan just opened the floodgates and Sam started going out with Jan more and more often.  One night after an evening with Jan Sam came home to find me in a horny mood and when I tried to pull her down on the bed she pushed me away.  It was the first time ever that she had refused me.  She saw the look on my face and said:

“It isn’t that I don’t want you baby, but I’m afraid you won’t like it.  I’m pretty sloppy down there.”

“I’ve had sloppy seconds from you before.”

“Not like this.  I’m really, really sloppy.”

Again the look on my face made her continue.  She and Jan had hooked up with two guys who were roommates and had gone with them to their apartment.  Sam did her guy and when he finished he got up to go to the bathroom.  While he was gone Jan’s guy came into the room and she ended up doing him and then her guy came back and she did him again.  She did Jan’s guy a second time and things got busy.  The guys had a third roommate and he came home and joined in.  She started to give me the particulars, but I shut her off and told her I didn’t want to hear it.  By then my hornies had disappeared and my cock was as limp as a boiled noodle.  I rolled over and tried to go to sleep.

In the morning over breakfast Sam said, “You didn’t seem too happy with me last night.”

“It isn’t that I’m unhappy with you; more like I’m not happy with the situation and the way things are going.”

“What do you mean?”

“You are more highly sexed than I am.  I know it and I know how frustrated you get when you don’t get enough so I told you that you could go outside of the house and get what you needed to take the edge off.  I saw it as you going out when I was gone or when you were on one of your trips.  I did not envision sex parties, taking off for weekends, going out two or three nights a week even when we are both home and I most definitely did not envision gangbangs.”

Sam was pretty quiet for a bit and then she said, “I guess I have been getting pretty carried away haven’t I.”

I nodded a yes.

“You and our marriage are the most important things in the world to me and I do not want to do anything that will screw things up.  I’ll quit.  No more.  I can’t take the chance.”

“You don’t have to quit.  Just slow it down.  I’d rather have you happy than frustrated and irritable which would in turn make me miserable, but try to keep it reasonable.”

+++++++++++++++++++++++++

For the next three months Sam did keep her legs together while she was at home and only spread them twice while visiting her region.

That brings us up to where we are now.

A month ago we went up to our cabin for a weekend.  Saturday night we decided to drive the twenty miles to the nearest town for dinner which was something that we rarely ever did.  In fact I could only remember us doing it once before in the all the years we had been coming up.

After we ate we hit a country western bar for some drinks and some dancing.  We had been there about an hour when a guy came over and asked me if he could have a dance with Sam.  I looked over at her and she nodded a yes and so I said okay.  She stayed out on the floor with him for three dances and when he brought her back Sam asked me if he could join us and I said it would be all right.  For the next hour we took turns dancing with Sam and then we he got up to go to the bathroom Sam said:

“I’ve been a good girl for over three months now.  Can I have him?”

I told her that we didn’t have room at the cabin for him and she said there was a motel just down the street.

I shrugged and just then the guy returned to the table and I got up to go.  While I was peeing I was thinking that I really didn’t my weekend ruined by sharing Sam with some guy she’d only met two hours ago and in my mind I was framing what I would say to her when I got back to the table, but when I got there they were both gone.

I was a little on the pissed side and was gulping my beer rather than sipping it when a cute redhead came up to ma and asked me to dance.  I danced with her and a couple of other ladies there and I was somewhat mellowed out when ten minutes before last call Sam came back into the bar with that ‘well fucked’ look about her.  We had one more drink and then danced the last dance and then we headed back to the cabin.

It was a quiet ride and I’m sure that Sam sensed that I wasn’t all that happy with her.  When we got back to the cabin Sam asked me if I wanted sloppy seconds or did I want to wait until we got home so she could clean up (we didn’t have running water at the cabin).  I took the ‘seconds’.  What the hell; it wasn’t the first time.

I was not a happy camper, but I kept my mouth shut since I didn’t want to spend a couple of weeks coming down from the argument we would have if I said what I was thinking.

Another six weeks went by and I decided that it was time for another weekend at the cabin.  We arrived Friday early in the evening and sat on the deck as we sipped wine and looked at the stars.  There is nothing like a cloudless night on the top of a mountain for looking at the stars.

  Saturday was a quiet and peaceful day at least until four in the afternoon.  Sam said that she would like to go into town for dinner and maybe a few drinks and some dancing.  I told her I didn’t feel like it and I saw something come over her face.  It took me a minute, but I suddenly realized what was going on.  She had gotten the guys number the last time we were up there and she had called him, told him we were coming up and had arranged to meet him.

I gave her a dirty look, said a few things I probably shouldn’t have and then I took the truck keys out of my pocket and threw them at her.

“Take the damned truck and go, but don’t bother waking me up when you get home and from now on you can come up here by yourself.”

I stormed out of the cabin and went for a walk to cool down.  When I came back about two hours later she was still there.  She didn’t go into town, but she was pouty the rest of the time we were there.  When we went to bed that night she reached for my cock and I pushed her hand away.

“I’m not in the mood.  I don’t want to do it thinking that you are thinking of not being with him while we do it.”

“That’s a rotten thing to say.”

“I’m having rotten thoughts right now.”

She started crying and got out of bed.  She spent the night sleeping on the front seat of the truck.  I just don’t understand how she can not grasp that I don’t mind her playing around, but not at the expense of humiliating me.

The next morning she made the mistake of asking, “What the hell is wrong with you?  You have always let me play if I wanted to.”

“Yes I have and it is turning out to be one of the biggest mistakes I’ve ever made.  You just can’t seem to understand the fact that I’m not happy when you humiliate me.  You did with those fucking parties and you did it again the last time we were up here.  It is one thing if you go out and meet a guy on your own, but it is something else again if you are with me and you take off with another guy.  I get to sit there and wait for you to come back with everyone looking at me and knowing that my woman took off with another man to get fucked.  Then you come back with that “I’ve just been fucked” look on you, sit down with me and everyone in the room is looking at me and thinking “What a sorry ass wimp.”

“That’s not fair.  I asked and you didn’t say I couldn’t.”

“I didn’t say you could either.  I had to take a leak and had planned to talk it over when I got back, but you were gone when I got back.  If I had agreed there were ways it could have been handled without making me look like a fool.  He could have left and then a bit later we could have left and you could have met up with him.

“This time really grinds me.  Did we talk about it ahead of time?  No we didn’t.  You set it up and were just going to drop it on me.  I will not be humiliated Samantha.  I just will not!  This asshole you were planning to meet has had plenty of time to tell all his buddies about the hot married woman he fucked while her husband sat in the bar and waited for him to bring her back.  You can bet that he has told all of them that her wimpy assed husband is bringing her back up so he can fuck her again and you can bet everything that you own on the fact that some of those buddies are going to be sitting there in the bar just to see if he is telling the truth.

“I’d get to sit there and be laughed at until he brought you back and I won’t have it Samantha!  I won’t put up with it.  I just will not put up with it!”

She sat there and stared out the window and was quiet all the way home.  Once at home we avoided each other for most of the day and then at dinner she said:

“I’m sorry.  I’ve never thought of it from your point of view.  You said I could so when I wanted to I did.  I just didn’t think about anything except doing it.  It won’t happen again.  I promise you that it won’t ever happen again.”

And since then it hasn’t.  Sam has limited herself to her trips and to any of mine that run over two days and once she asked me if she could stop with the girls to celebrate a birthday and of course some ‘cute guy’ got a present that night.

+++++++++++++++++

I have never considered myself a violent person so what happened this weekend came as a surprise to me.  And to Sam also I might add.

Every year we have a series of barbecues.  Sam has one for all of her managers and some of the other people she works with.  I have one for the people that I work with and we have a neighborhood get together.  This past Saturday was when we had Sam’s.  As you might remember one of Sam’s managers is Tom, the guy I caught her cheating with some years back.  She had given him the promotion to run the Wagner office and he made the trip for Sam’s barbecue.  To the best of my knowledge (at least on Saturday) he did not know that I knew he and Sam had sex when she visited his office.

When he arrived Sam introduced me to him and the asshole actually SMIRKED when he shook my hand and for the rest of the afternoon every time I saw him looking toward me he had the same smirk on his face.  He didn’t know that I was able to read his expression.  It said, as plain as day, “I’m fucking your wife you stupid doofus.”  It ground on me for several hours and then I finally lost it.

When I saw him go into the house to use the bathroom I followed him.  When he came out of the bathroom I was waiting for him and I hit him in the face with every thing I had.  I broke his nose and left him bleeding there in the hallway.  I went back out to the party and told Sam that one of her guests had had an accident and was in the house bleeding.  She rushed in while I went and got myself another beer.

Twenty minutes later Sam came out and said, “Now wasn’t that a grown up thing to do.”  I told her why I did it and then I told her that the next time she trotted one of her lovers into my presence she should warn them to mind their manners and behave.  Apparently while she was in the house she doctored him and he decided that it was time for him to leave.

She told me later that night that she wouldn’t be seeing him again.

  “He knows that I have your permission and that you know what I’m doing so his behavior is unacceptable to me also although I wouldn’t have acted as drastically as you did.”

+++++++++++++++++

Our lifestyle isn’t likely to change any time soon.  As I get older my sexual urges seem to be slowing down while Sam’s seem to be getting stronger.  I’m expecting that she is going to want to play more and I’m also expecting that she will be doing it again while we are both home.  If and when it happens I will remind her of her promise that she would never again humiliate me and hopefully she won’t.  If she does I’m not sure our marriage will survive.

I let her know how I felt about it when she pulled me along to the parties and again over the trips to the cabin.  I guess you could say that they were first two strikes and you know the saying – three strikes and you are out.

I pray that it doesn’t happen because I do love Samantha, but I will not allow myself to be humiliated and laughed at.  I hope to God that Samantha understands that.