Title: Danny's Hope Author: JD Kinder keywords: mb, nosex, medical This was my first attempt at writing a story by myself. It's never been posted publicly before. I came across a copy and decided to post it as part of my rebirth to writing here on ASSTR.org. "Danny's Hope" aka "My First Defib Story" By JD Kinder Joey and Cole were the best of friends. They had known each other a long time. When Cole was younger he experienced a near-death experience and almost didn't make it back. Since then he had wished to share the same type of experience with Joey. Unfortunately the closest Joey had ever come to something like that was watching the movie Flatliners. The two discussed over and over how Joey could experience it. Frankly Joey wasn't really keen about getting it done to him. It actually scared him very much but also turned him on a lot at the same time for some reason. He did like the idea of playing the "doctor" more than the "patient". Getting the equipment and drugs was no big deal as Cole's live-in lover David was a pediatrician and they were transfers into the nursing program at the children's hospital, and had easy access to all that cool medical stuff. Now all they had to do was find a patient to play with. It would have to be someone willing, trusting, and a little afraid to die. The only people they knew like that were the sick kids they saw daily at the hospital. It was like a light bulb went off in their heads but would David be willing to help them and go along with this crazy scheme. Of course he would; especially if it was a "boy" patient as all three men were secretly boylovers, although none of them had ever acted on it. After speaking with David they decided on an 8-year-old old boy named Danny. Prior to being admitted to the children's hospitals oncology unit under the care of Dr. David, little Danny had been the picture of perfect health: a blazing redhead with the fairest snow white skin and bright blue eyes and a chest with two dime-sized nipples and belly button like no other. Unfortunately little Danny wasn't doing so well now. He had an inoperable brain tumor and the chemo and radiation had ravaged his little body to the breaking point. He was basically spending every last moment waiting to die. Unlike the other sick kids it was a death he freely accepted and begged for in his nightly prayers to God and his dead parents. Sadly, unlike the other sick kids, the only visitors he ever got to his bedside was the occasional doting grandma of another patient across the room or Dr. Dave, Dr Dave's boyfriend Cole, and Joey. Oh how Danny wished he had a "boyfriend" and the extra-special prayer he asked every night to his mommy and daddy in heaven was that it was Joey. He adored the nice man who had shown him more kindness and love in his short life than he could ever remember. When he was lying there sick as a dog from the treatments it was Joey that held up his weakened body while he puked anything and everything into the metal bedpan. Joey had ditched the small emission basin on day one when Danny had covered himself in puke without even trying. Unlike the big ward nurse, who looked and acted like a female Rambo, this little 4'11" man didn't balk away in disgust when it happened. He just gently pulled the curtain around the bed and quietly helped Danny out of his pj's while whispering soft words of encouragement to him. Then he gave him a wonderful spongebath before getting him into a nice clean set of pj's. A few hours after making plans for "Operation: Danny" the trio visits him in the hospital. Danny is lying in bed trying desperately to hold up the comic book he's been unable to read for over a week when Dr. Dave, Cole, and Joey enter the room. They've decided to take him for ice cream and to explain their plan to him. After wheeling Danny down to the cafeteria for soft serve, with Joey spooning it into his mouth and wiping the corners with a napkin as he has no strength to do it himself. When he is finished with his treat they bring him to Dr. Dave's office for "the talk". They explain their plan to experiment with stopping and restarting his heart as kid-friendly as they can. They even show him clips from the movie Flatliners on youtube and lots of clips on a site called Defib Kids in the hopes it will convince him to go along with it. Surprisingly Danny is eager to try this experiment. He tells them he's always liked watching this kind of stuff on TV but never saw it in real life. Even though he had witnessed a few close-calls on the ward, no one had ever expired in front of him. Danny secretly hopes his friends plan to bring him to the point of death and back doesn't fully succeed. If this is the answer to his prayers then he's going to take it. He does feel a little sad that he has to keep this secret wish from them, especially Joey, but it's his only chance at peace. The plan is to take Danny out of the hospital under the watch of Dr. Dave and bring him to the house for a short visit. With him being an orphan and in the end stage of brain cancer it was easy to get the ok from the hospital and orphanage, as well as get a gurney, EKG, defib, drugs, oxygen, and any other supplies for his more-than-likely short stay with the pediatrician. After setting up all the equipment in the little guest bedroom Joey asks Danny once again if he is ok doing this. Danny weakly nods and tries to give him a thumbs up. Joey gently lifts him out of the wheelchair and up onto the gurney before taking off the little boys pj's. When Joey gets down to his green dinosaur cartoon undies Danny asks him to remove them as well. When all three men protest Danny's response is they might need IV access or something during the resus part. Unbeknownst to them, Danny has learned their secret about being boylovers. When your sick and dying in a hospital bed you see and hear things better than a CIA agent. Seeing this will hopefully be his last few minutes on Earth he wants to give them the only thank you gift he can: leaving this world as naked as the day he was born. The group has decided the easiest and safest way to do this is to put Danny under using a general anesthetic, use a cooling blanket to slow his bodies metabolism and heart rate, and then use a defibrillator shock to stop his heart completely. They decided the four-minute mark is when they will reverse the cardiac arrest. Joey lovingly places EKG electrodes on his chest, Dr. Dave inserts an IV into his arm to administer drugs, and Cole places a black rubber anestesia mask over his face. Looking down at him Dr. Dave notices the lack of fear in the boys eyes, unlike so many children he's taken to the operating room, and gives the boy a quick smile and a knowing nod. He's spent enough time with this child to know he wants to die more than anything. He silently prays this will be that time. As Danny slowly falls asleep he can feel the cold of the cooling blanket covering him and a slight stinging in his arm from the IV. He's anxious to feel the cool defib gel on his chest and the metal paddles that will finally signal the end to all his pain and suffering. He wonders if he'll still be awake when it happens. After the anesthetic has taken effect and his heart has started slowing down, Joey squirts lots of defib gel all over Danny's chest and abdomen, charges the defib paddles up to a kid-friendly dosage of 200 joules and gently places them on the boys chest. He starts to wonder if this is still a good idea. Then he remembers the night after one of Danny's bad days. Danny had to be given a heavy sedative to make him sleep after it while Joey just sat there next to his bed silently praying to God to end the boys misery. He realizes God has given him that chance. Without a second thought he pushes the buttons on the two paddles sending 200 joules across Danny's chest and stopping his heartbeat for the last time. As Danny's body relaxes completely Joey witnesses a smile on the boys face for the first time since he met him. The EKG now shows a solid steady line. Over the next couple minutes the EEG also slows down but for some unknown reason doesn't stop completely, making Danny dead but not braindead. At the four-minute mark Cole grabs the ambu bag and starts squeezing oxygen back into Danny's lungs, Dr. Dave pushes epi through the IV to stimulate the boys heart while Joey places both hands on the center of Danny's chest and starts pushing hard and fast. After a few minutes the EEG machine starts slowly making more wavy lines but the EKG is still asystole. Dr. Dave now starts injecting lidocaine and any other drug he can think of in the hopes of getting the boy into a shockable rhythm. He even tells Joey to get out of the way while he jams a needle directly into Danny's heart. After another couple rounds of CPR they look at the EKG monitor and finally see course vfib on it. Joey once again puts the paddles back on little Danny's chest and charges the paddles to 200 joules. After calling "Clear!" and pushing the buttons little Danny's body jerks up off the gurney only to fall back down motionless. The EKG monitor still showing vfib. It didn't work. Over the next hour they continue to do the same steps over and over on little Danny even though it looks hopeless they will ever get him back. Dr. Dave tells Joey that after one last shock he's going to call time of death. "The boy would've wanted it that way and you know it." Joey looks stunned at his friend. He knew it was the truth but now he couldn't accept in his heart what he had started out to do. He didn't want this little boy to die like this after all. He wanted him to live and spend what natural time he had left with him. "Come on Danny! You've got to come back! I love you." Joey shouts as he charges the paddles for what seems like the hundredth time, and places them on the boys gelled chest for what will be the last time. He pushes the buttons. This time little Danny's body seems like it's stopped in slow motion as his chest arches up off the gurney before falling back still. After a few seconds the EKG monitor starts slowly beeping: 1 beep - 2 beeps - 3 beeps, until the boys heart starts going faster and faster. Just as it reaches a normal rate for a boy his age Danny's eyes slowly flutter open and he looks around at Cole and Dr. Dave before fixing his eyes on Joey. Danny reaches out and grabs Joeys hand. He turns his head and looks into his eyes, weakly smiles and whispers, "Joey, it, it doesn't hurt any more. Mommy and Daddy took the pain away. Did you really mean it when you said you loved me? Mommy and Daddy said you did." Stunned, Joey smiles back cupping Danny's hand. "Of course I did Danny. I love you with all my heart." He bends down and kisses him on the forehead. Danny smiles and a single tear rolls down his face. His tiny hand relaxes in Joey's hand.... The EKG monitor goes off signaling the boy was back in vfib. Joey goes to grab the paddles but Dr. Dave and Cole both shake their heads no. With tears in his eyes, Joey lifts Danny off the gurney and into his arms hugging and kissing him goodbye. -The End *** Here is Character Bios I wrote after I had initially finished writing this story. My idea was to use them to flesh the story out more and make it better. Even though I never changed my original story, the characters and a slight retelling of their story became the foundation for including them into my First Times story that I wrote with my co-author Pope. The only big change was Danny was renamed Nate in First Times. Dr. David - age 50 A kindly pediatric surgeon whose been witness to both a sick boy named Danny's prayer to God to die and end his suffering along with his friend Joey's prayer for God to also end Danny's suffering. He also hears the boys secret prayer to his Mommy and Daddy that his favorite nurse, Joey, who is also a housemate of Dr. David's, was also his boyfriend and [maybe] also hears Danny secretly wants Joey to be the one to end his suffering because he's been so loving and kind to him since the upchuck incident. Dr. Dave then secretly devises a plan with his boyfriend Cole to help the boy die peacefully and maybe get a boyfriend to boot. Cole - age 33? Dr. David's boyfriend and longtime friend to Joey. He is also a surgical prep/post-op nurse at the children's hospital, which is how Dr. David and him hooked up. After Dr. Dave tells him of little Danny's wishes for a boyfriend and to die he asks him for ideas to make it happen. They come up with the idea for a spoof of Flatliners and have Cole sell it to Joey as a way he can experience an NDE like Cole had when he was younger knowing Joey wouldn't do that, thereby making it easy to swap in Danny as the "patient" instead. Joey - age 37 Longtime friend to Cole. He is a nurse who works on the wards taking care of the sick kids. His small size makes it easier for the kids to accept him as a nurse and caregiver. He loves his job but can't stand seeing the kids suffering, especially those who are terminal like the little Danny, whom he's grown very attached to since the boy was admitted almost a year ago. He is unaware of the true plan for "Operation Danny" but decides at the last moment to also use it to end the boys suffering. Danny - age 8 A redhead with beautiful creamy white skin, dime-sized nipples and a belly button like no other. He is also a book nerd and very aware of things. At the age of 5 he lost his parents in a boating accident that almost took his life to. Both his mommy and daddy were only childs whose parents had had them late in life, so neither of his surviving grandparents were able to take care of him properly so he entered the CPS system and ended up in an orphanage that wasn't so bad. Around age 7 little Danny started having severe headaches and blurry vision. Tests showed he had a golf-ball (or baseball) sized tumor in in his skull that was pressing on his optic nerves. He went from living in the orphanage to living in the hospital 24/7. Because of where the tumor was located Dr. Dave decided it wouldn't be possible to remove it surgically without causing more harm to the boy even if he was successful. Dr. Dave was sad he couldn't fix it but hoped that chemotherapy and radiation would shrink it enough to release the pressure inside his skull enough to at least give the boy some relief while he waited for the end to come. An end they all feel hasn't come quick enough. He's also grown very fond of his primary caregiver Joey since the now infamous upchuck incident and wishes he was his boyfriend in his nightly prayers to mommy and daddy.