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   1) If it is illegal for whatever reason for your to read/view adult/sex
related material, stop reading now!

   2) If you cannot tell the difference between fantasy and reality, stop
reading now!

   3) This story may be posted anywhere, as long as it appears with all
info (disclaimer, e-mail info, author name, etc, intact)....However if it
is appears on a commerical site, please have the courtesy of ³paying ³ me
with acess to the site.  I can be contacted for this purpose at:
rapelover@bigfoot.com.

   Please state in correspndence to me that you are over 21!!!



   If you are offended by strong language, scenes of violence, depictions
of sex, despictions of rape, stop reading now.

   Readers should be aware that rape is not only a crime, it is immoral and
evil.



   A REASON WHY By: Imma Scared



   I am not sure why I am teling you this..

   Will it help me find a reason why this happened to me?..

   You say think it part of the healing process?

   I'm not sure if I even want to be healed....I think I'd much rather if
you could slip something in the IV, let me go to sleep, and never wake up.

   You think my story might help somebody else?

   Well then, I'll try, I'm not sure I can tell the whole story tho...

   ******************************

   First let me tell you a little about me, so you can undertstand a few
thngs.

   I was raised in a very ³fundamentalist² Christian home.

   I was ³home-schooled² and the only children I got to play with,
socialize with wee the ones that attended the same church as our family. 
The only TV I watched were shows on the ³christian networks², and/or Videos
that my parents pre-approved.

   My severy action, was controlled to one degree or another by my parents,
their friends and/or the church.

   Don't get me wrong, Mom and Dad were very loving, kind, and generous. 
But extemely strict.  And extermely serious about their ³faith².

   And since I had little or no outside Influences, by the time I got to
college, even tho it was a ³christian² college, I was totally unprepared by
the people and the new ideas I encountered.  I was like a kid who gets
candy for the first time, and then gets left unsupervised in a candy
store!!!

   I tried everything that was supposed to be forbidden!!  Drugs,booze, and
sex.

   Well, the first time or do of trying this drug and that, and boozing it
up left me so sick the next da,y I found it hard to understand why people
could get addicted.  It just didn't seem to be worth it.

   As for sex, well thewre was something ³wrong² with the way I am built.

   I knew enough, had gotten enough info to expect that the first time
might be uncomfortable, if not a bit painful.  But there was pain every
time my boyfriend and I made love.

   He had no complaints, in fact he kept telling me how wonderful it was to
be ³fucking such a hot tight pussy², and how I had the ³best pussy ³.

   But each time we made love, I felt as if I was being I was going impaled
by a baseball bat.

   And I knew this wasn't normal.

   I stopped by the Feminist Book Store , and told a ³peer counselor² my
problem.  After an hour of being grilled as to whether or not I had
considered the possibility that I might be a Lesbian, she have me the name
of a gynecologist to see.

   **************************

   Well I, I've got some good news and some bad news for you,² the
gynecologist said after all the test were done.

   ³The good news is that there is nothing really ³wrong² with you per se.
That is, everything is working normally,² she continued.

   ³So what is the bad news?², I asked.

   ³Well, for some reason, you vagina is unually tight, and your uterus is
extremely samll for someone your size and age.  Its as if they stopped
growing when you were 10 or 11.  They are fully mature.  just small.²

   I was confused, ³But what does that mean?  Is that why it hurts to have
sex?²

   ³Yes that is why.  Apparently your love, r even if his penis is just
average, is a little bit big for you,² she said.  ³There couild be a
sugerical solution, but you may need to a specilaist to know for sure.²

   She smiled rather wanly.  ³ If it were me, I'd just try to find lovers
who smaller than average, men whose penis are not much larger than a polish
sausage.  Or you could avoid vaginal intercourse as much as possible. 
After all there is still anal and oral sex as options for you and your
lover.²

   ³Or², I said ³I could just be celibate²

   She looked at me as if I was insane, and nodded as I left her office.

   *****************************************************************

   I had chosen celibacy, I guess because it turns out I was much more of a
prude than I thought.

   My stomach turned at the very thought of oral sex, and I couldn't even
image anal sex at all.

   And what I supposed to do, have a guy fill out a form telling me weight,
height, and penis size, before dating him?

   I felt really dishonest, because everyone thought that I didn't date
because I was a ³good Christian², that I was so virtuous.

   But I wasn't dating because I was scared of experiencing the pain I had
with my one and only lover.  And I knew at some point, if I had
relationship with a man, some sort of sex would have to be involved.  So I
didn't date.

   But I was still a normal female, and I still could get horney.  So I
would go to the other end of the city, and sneak into the Adult movie
theaters, and bookshops, praying that no one I knew would ever see me, or
that no ³pervert² would approach me.  (I was incrediabbly ³lucky², for I
never was approached by ³perverts², and all the other guys who approached
me took ³no² for an answer without a lot of hassle).

   I watched the movies, and read and looked at the pictures of women benig
fucked with a great deal of envy.  Then I dicovered the Web, with its
newsgroups, and chat rooms., and websites.

   I got what was a probably a skewed idea of the average penis size, but
it seemed preety clear that 90% of men were way too big for me!!!  And I
found myself actually praying that I could meet a small dicked man.

   I thought breifly of posting something on the web, but I was scared of
getting stalked by some nut.  I thought of placing a personal, but that
seemed dangerous too.

   Then one night, as I was a flipping thru the pages of a porno mag in the
back of some filthy Adult Bookstore, HE approached me.

   He was tall, way over 6 feet, and looked both lean and heavily muscled.
Long, black, greasy looking hair fell far past his shoulders.  He had one
of those goatees that makes some guys look really satanic, and with his
pallid , almost dead white skin, dressed in all in black, he looked like a
follower of the Dark Lord.

   He radiate both evil and raw lust.

   He walked right up to me, and while rubbing his crotch he said, ³I want
your pussy!!!²

   I didn't know whether to run, to laugh, or be insulted, or....

   ³Put that fusking magazine down now, ³, he snarled.  ³And come with me²

   To my amazement I found myself obeying.  In a daze I put the magazine
down and follow the man out of the store, and to the alley.

   Wordlessly, he shoved hard me against, the wall.  He pressed himself
hard gainst me and kissed me hard, his tongue thrust itself cruel ly and
relentlessly into his mouth, almost down histhroat.  At the same time his
hands were pawing hissmalll breast, kneading and squeezing them, as he
semmed to send hinself into a frenzy.



   Slowly, his hand began to pull my skirt up.  I tried to keep him from
doing so, but he was too big, too strong.  He kept preesing into me so that
was against the wall with his body weight, I could feel what mist have been
hiscock pressed against thigh, now naked and exposed, and felt a strane
sense of relief, It ³felt² small!!

   Then he took my hand in his, amd not too roughly moved it towards his
zipper.  ³Unzip me, cunt, and tak emy prick out.², he said.

   I obey, take hi szipper down, and find that his cock is naked beneath --
it pops out as if it it has a life of its own, eafer to plunge itself deep
into me.  And I feel that it is indeed smaller than my one lover's, and I
think, ³perhaps this won't be so bad².

   He let my hand fo, and move his hand to my pussy, and then his thick
finger begin to I circle my clit, to get me as ready ready as possible for
his throbbing dick.

   He pulled the crotch of my panties aside, I and then moved his cock into
position.  Suddenly I knew this was the answer to my prayer, and tho I was
being raped, this was at last th fucking that I wanted, needed.  A quick,
hard fuck to relieve the pressure.

   He squated a bit, his cock tickling and teasing me as it wiggled to and
fro on my pussy's lips.  He pushed into me , sliding into you, forcefully
and willfully.

   He laughed, as his cock pounded out a passionate rhythm in my
pussy.pounding, pulsing, growing huge within me, ³You got some tight pussy,
baby.  Aint had a pussy this tight in a long, long time.  I've never had a
pussy as good as yours, never been squeezed so tight....²

   I was are impaled on hi sdick, pinned to the wall, as he savagely thrust
into me, continuig to say things to me like ³ your pussy is perfect.... 
Your pussy will make me cum super hard , baby....  And I'm gonna cum deep
into you, lift you off the floor with the pressure² He sped up suddenly,
his thrusts became even more piston-like, his, cock really rammed my pussy,
fucking me harder than I ever thought possible.  And yet unlike the
lovemaking i had with my lover, this pain felt right, it was ³good².

   He was thrustinh stil hard, the wall knocking beneath us as it sems he
is driving his entrie self deepinto me.  My knees buckled as I felt his his
white-hot cum spurt and scald my brusided and battered pussy, and then I
felt cock continue its throbs he somehow continued to fuck me.  As if he
had no intention of ever not stopping, using every last inch of his cock to
fuck me , to the last of inch of my life.

   In explosion of pain and pleasure I at CAME!!!

   Then it was over.

   He let me fall to the ground and stood over me.

   ³You liked that, you liked me raping youm didn't you babe?²

   What could I say?  To be raped is horrible....it was horrible.......and
yet it was the first time in life I had ever came, it was the first time in
my life that a man penis thrusting in and out of my pussy gav me more than
agony.

   ³Yes, ³, I said.  ³But it was you, You gave me me what I have only
dreamed of, only imagined.², I breathed.

   He smiled a truly evil smile, and said, ³Well then, let's go home.²

   ***************************************************

   He moved in from that night on.

   I knew his name was Dave, but that was all he would ever tell me about
himself.

   I suspected a lot about him tho, none of it good.

   Like when he fucked me, it was never love-making with him, he would say
things like ³Fucking you is as good as fucking a little girl.²

   How would he know what that was like?  I didn't want to know the answer.

   Or he would come home, flush with money, somehow smelling of blood and
death, and looking oddly well fed.

   I wanted him to leave, I wanted to change the locks, I wanted to run
away.  I couldn't do any of those things.  I don't why, but I couldn't.

   One day he came home, and he said to me, ³I wish I had a really big
thick dick.  I'd love to rape you with a really humongous big thick dick,
rip you wide open.  Fuck you till you bleed.  Wouldn't that be fun?²

   When I shook my heard no, horrified, he laughed.

   ³oh yes it would, just imagine it!!!², he giggled, actually giglled!!

   Then he said, ³I bet it would be fun to watch some big, nasty crazy
motherfuckers rape the fuck out of you.² He stroked his goatee and begab
looking at me appraisingly.  ³Yeah, maye a whole gang of crazy
motherfuckers, not just raping your pusy, but shreeding your ass too...²

   He was really scaring me.  ³No Dave², ³No, that wouldn't be fun at all.²

   ³Not fun fo you, but fun for them, fun for me.  And that's what counts,
bitch.  What's fun for men.², he sneered.  I'm getting kinda bored with
just fucking you anyway.²

   He got up then, and went into the bedroom.

   I wanted to leave then, I wanted to disobey then, I really did.  I
wanted to But I couldn't.  I can't give you a single reason why.  I don't
know.

   *************************************************

   Dave fanished after the conversation, and I stupidly thought I was safe.

   I considered moving, but everytime I made any kind of effort to actually
do something, like go apartment hunting, I became distracted, and
lethargic.

   And I found myself having extremely horrible nightmares....nightmares of
being held down by men with beastial face and gleaming bald skulls...of
being tyed up and spread eagled...of being chased in the woods by
laughing...demons...

   Until I woke up into a another nightmare.....I was nude, hanging not far
over the floor by thickly padded wrist cuffs, my knees were drawn up and
out until they were almost to my sides, level with my ribcage.  Spread this
way, my naked pussy was completely open and exposed.  Even tho I knew it
was useless, I called out, begging to be let go.

   It seemed like only a moment that I closed my eyes, but when I opened
them there was a man standing between my legs.  He was, totally naked 6'5
and looked like a mean white heavily scared and tattooed George Foreman:
totally smooth bald head, build, and all.  But it was that massive dick
that caused me to cry out!

   His massive cock was twisted with veins and the huge head bulged a deep
crimson.  and glistened with the moisture of some sort of lubrication and
he gripped it with one fist as he directed it to the opening of my
vulnerable pussy.

   Without word or hesitation, with one incrediably brutal thrust the man
plowed his cock past my spread labia and drove completely into me.  I
screamed as I was impaled and my pussy forced open before it.  I could feel
my protesting inner muscles spasm in futility around the thick invader as
if tying to make the invasion eaiser.  It was agony beyond all reason, ,and
yet opressively sexual.

   For a moment, I wavered on the edge of unconsciousness, the pain was so
intense.  Then he was thumping into me and I was groaning as his misshapen
prick spread me apart, convincing me that he really was tearing me open.

   When he slammed into me, the fury of his attack jolted through my whole
body and battered entire body.  It hurt so much I wasn't sure whether I was
happy or unhappy when at last he plunged into me for the last time with a
rush and a spurts of cum that really seemed to scald my insides.  I groaned
in what might have been mistaken for relief as his hot flood filled seemed
to fill me to the brim..

   The sensation had been so overpowering that I was numb for long seconds
afterward.

   Now another strange man stepped between my legs and he examined my torn
and bleeding cunt with his fingers while I writhed and cried out as he did
it.

   ³I hope you got that on tape for the traiining video², the new man said.
³Plus Dave is gonna want see it, since he couldn't be here.²

   His words sink into my brain slowly, as I realize that what is hapenning
to me is no accident.  And that there will be no escape.

   ³Do you want to know what's gonna happen to ya, slut², the man said as
he continued to maul my poor sore pussy.  ³Wanna know what Dave has told us
ta do ra ya?²

   ³No please,² I begged useleslly.  ³Please, let me go!!²



   Let you go?  Not hardly bitch, the fun just started.  Right now there's
a real horny brother, guiding a really huge fat cock head to that sweet
little virgin asshole of yours, and in aminure he's gonna ram it in there
as hard as he can.  and then this mean pl' suunabitch your'e looking at is
about to shove his massive horse sized dick in your cunt.²

   I screamed so hard I thought my throat would tear as the two men
fufilled those horrible words.

   Another man leaned over me and whispered into my ear, ³ There are 18
guys watching you get double fucked tether style that are pulling on their
rigid shafts eagerly ready for their turn to pump your love holes so full
of cum it splatters on the floor beneath you!!²

   To be coninued?