This work is copyrighted to the author @2020.  Diese Arbeit ist dem Autor urheberrechtlich geschützt © 2020. Please do not remove the author information or make any changes to this story. All rights reserved by author. codes: M+f+/ SM / humil / viol / caution / anal / nc

 

WARNING: This story delves into aberrant sex practices that might well offend you.  If so, please leave.  Some of the sex depicted is consensual, some not.  I don't condone it.  I'm not advocating it.  I may or may not even like it.  It's simply a fantasy, a product of my imagination, and thus, completely fictitious. Peace, brothers & sisters.

 

Before you read it, please note the following:

*If you are under eighteen, it is illegal for you to read this story!

*If you have a hard time separating fantasy from reality, do not read this story!

*If it's illegal in your jurisdiction to read non-consensual sex stories, don't read this story!

Support ASSTR: If you can afford to cough up a few bucks, the good folks who make this all happen would be much obliged. :)

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The ol’ Switcheroo

 

 (An Erotic Horror Story)

 by

Bad Robot

(aka Hunsi)

 

Book cover Picture

Click to meet the players

/files/Authors/HumblePie/fishin.jpg

 

 

Part I

 

Focusing in on a childrens park in downtown 'Nowhere-Ville' USA, we see a woman screaming and swinging her purse at a fiendish lout who without creed, is in the midst of assailing her young daughter.   As the lewd and lascivious act he is engaged in finally comes to a conclusion, the assailant victoriously raises the girl’s panties high over head and began whirling them about.  Then as he yahooo’ed it up like a cowboy on a bronco, a policeman’s whistle can be heard over and above the woman's screams, the assailant’s laughter and the young ladies shameless cooing!

 

----

 

"All rise," the Court Bailiff announced.  “Let it be recorded that at 1 p.m. June 3rd, 1923, the ‘Nowhere-Ville’ Municipal Court is now in session, your honor, Clifford Mopple presiding."

 

"Please be seated," the right honorable justice Mopple said upon taking his seat behind the Bench. "Now then, this afternoon we’ll begin the sentencing phase of the trial of Mr. Pudge Maplethorpe.  And as Mr. Maplethorp has admitted to his guilt upon taking the stand in his own defense this morning, all that remains is for me to determine the sentence he shall receive."

 

"The Laws specific to those previously found guilty of performing an indecent act before a person below the age of majority vary only in the amount of time to be served.  And while Mr. Maplethorpe does admit to his guilt, just as he had in his five previous appearances before for this court, I would think a sentence on the higher end of that scale would certainly be in order."

 

"However, given that this is his fifth such conviction for the exact same crime, I truly believe another solution need be found.  Leastwise I fear this court will again find this menace to society right back here in court pleading guilty to the same crime in the future, and the future after that."

 

"Now, if you’ll allow me, I’d like to take a moment to pose a question to this court.  Is it just me, or does anyone else see a problem here?”

 

“For men such as Mr. Maplethrope, this whole crime and punishment process amounts to nothing more than a revolving door.  It serves neither him, nor the prisons and asylums whose job it is to make a good citizen of this irredeemable reprobate.  Institutions that are already bulging at the seams as it is, and yet, we expect them to transform this human lump of coal into a sparkling diamond of a god- fearing, trustworthy citizen in but a few short months.”

 

"That is, of course, a tortured analogy, but to me, it does speak to the failure of our judicial system.  It doesn’t reform, and may well even contribute to the rate of recidivism.  A man gets caught with a child at play in the park with his hand inside her panties and a few months in jail later, he’s free to go out and do so again, and again, and again.”

 

“My fellow citizens, this is lunacy when what we need is change.  Therefore, I have taken it upon myself to reach out to Dr. Jonathan Snivel, a doctor of some note in the world of Criminology, to help me find a better solution.  And what he has come up with is a solution that adheres to all we’ve come to learn about human behavior over the last quarter century.”

 

“Mr. Snivel calls his new approach, The modern man in the premodern world: An approach to criminology that adheres to the actual mechanics of the minds of men’.”

 

“And me?  Well, I simply call it a tool, a new tool, something that can affect the kind of change in men that punishment alone does not.  Men like Mr. Maplethrope who would otherwise continue on through life revolving around and through that crime and punishment door."

 

"So, in rendering judgement, I have asked Dr. Snivel to make a study of Mr. Maplethorpe, and find a way to do what this court, and in way of extension, its prisons and infirmaries have been unable to do - Make a proper citizen of this monstrosity of a man."

 

---

 

A crowd of reporters rushed up the 'Nowhere-Ville' County Courthouse steps the moment Jonathan Snivel was spotted leaving the courtroom for home.

 

In their rush to get their bylines into the evening edition, the crowd of reporters spared neither life nor limb to get the news directly from Dr. Snivel himself.

 

“Dr. Snivel, Dr. Snivel, is it true what they say?” He heard one reporter shout out above the profusion of others.

 

“Is what true?” he stopped to ask.

 

“That you’re going to free every mother-raper and father-stabber we’ve got lockup?  Again turn our parks, our playgrounds and our streets into a terrorist zone?"

 

“Oh my, and you call yourself a reporter,” he replied with disgust as yet another question was thrown his way.

 

“Doctor, Doctor, tell me, are you prepared for what’s likely to happen should the radical changes to our legal system you’ve proposed not work?  And if they don’t, are you prepared to lose the pound of flesh the public is going to demand of you?”

 

“Oh, merciful heavens, what newspaper do you write for?  “The Angry Mob Gazette?” he asked, again in disgust.

 

“No, he works for the Daily Chronicle just as I do,” the reporter standing beside him answered for him.

 

“He’s my under study who unfortunately asked a stupid question.  I believe he’d have been better serviced had he asked just how much money you expect to make off this crazy scheme of yours.  Further more, have you asked yourself whether that amount, or any amount, is worth the public condemnation you’re going to face once you fail?”

 

----

 

Jonathan Snivel entered the Harbor Street detention center early the next morning with his court order in hand.

 

Entering the jailer’s office, he was immediately sucked into the human vortex that was Reggie Franklin, the shift commander, a man of humongous proportions with equally huge grin, and a hand shake that could rattle your teeth.

 

"Hi’ ya, doc!  You come to try your hand at fixing another one of them loons I got locked up back there?"  He asked with a grin that glistened as brightly as did his smoothly shaven and polished slate black head.

 

"That's how Judge Mopple's release order reads," he said, as he held up the order for him to read.  

 

"Aye, I can see that," he said upon giving it a glance.  "Well, it ain't much my business to be asking or nothing, but seeing as though I've seen not a wink of change in any one of those scoundrels I keep locked up back there, I find myself wondering how long it's going to take' ya to give up on the ghost?"

 

"Not while I still have a breath to breathe," he replied, firmly and confidently.  "I truly believe I know how to effectuate change in those caught up in the endless cycle of crime and punishment, as does Judge Mopple."

 

"You could say we are of like minds in that regard.  Just as we are of likes minds about where the solution lies.  And I’m here to tell you the answer lies not in prayer or the cut of the surgeons castrating blade.  Rather, it's simply a matter of unlocking the mysteries of the mind that compels a man to choose doing wrong over right no matter how tight you turn the screw on the rack."

 

"Huh!  Well, I can't say I know much about that, but if you think you can keep picking at that scab without causing some scoundrel to bleed, so be it."

 

"Now, if you'll give me a moment, I'll go round up that scab-riddled scoundrel you be wantin to take."

 

"Thank you, and please, no irons this go-round."

 

“No shackles?”

 

“No, he’s just a man in need of help, not a murderer.”

 

---

 

A few minutes we find Dr. Jonathan Snivel and his guinea pig, Pudge Maplethorpe, stepping into the coach in waiting.

 

"Where we be headed," Pudge final spoke once seated on the coach seat.

 

"My office, your new place of residence for as long as needed"

 

"Needed?  Me?  For what?"

 

"Well, it's no for me to say," he said as the carriage lurched forward with the crack of a whip.  "Allow me to just say I need me somebody to talk to."

 

"Talk to?  You mean you ain't fixing to cut off me balls like the other doctor who come visit me?"

 

"No, absolutely not.  I'm not that kind of doctor."

 

"You're a talk doctor?"

 

"No, no," I'm not a ‘talk doctor,’ whatever that means.  Although I guess you can say I'm a sort of listening doctor.  I want to hear what you have to say."

 

"About what?  You want me to tell about that sweet lil' Janey I done fingered in the park while I beat me sausage with her panties?"

 

"Well yes, I suppose so, though mind you, only by way getting to know as much about you as there is to know.  The good, the bad, the ugly, all in equal measure."

 

"Huh!  I see.  You've got a spur in your saddle for little girl's too, huh?  If that being the case, you and me we got us lots to talk about," he gleamed a smile, while licking his lips.  "Tell me, doc, you like yours with lil' gumdrop titties, or do like them like peaches instead?"

 

"Stop that," Jonathan bristled.  I haven’t given you any reason to speak to me like that."

 

"What?  You changed your mind already?  You said you were a listening doctor.  Well, I be talking, and now you’re telling me to shut up?"

 

"No, no, you're right, I spoke out of line.  Please, feel free to speak as you wish."

 

"Thanks, doc, I most surely will.  There's a lot folks be saying about me, but not speaking me mind ain’t one of them.

 

“Now, as was saying, that lil’ dolly I done in the park was a sweet lil’ tidbit to be sure, but not me best.  Oh know, me best, would have been lil’ Annie b’cuz she didn’t so much mind beating me porker while I sucked her titties.  But then again, Rosy, liked doing that too, only she was always coughing up me spooge when I had her suck me."

 

"Now, what' yah got say about that, Mr. Listening Doctor?"

 

"Yes, well, I’m not here to pass judgement.  It's important that you trust me on that.  Although, I think I need mention that while you were talking, you seemed to have developed a peculiar facial tick."

 

"A what?"

 

"A tick, you know, your right eye droops down, and your cheeks begin to twitch.  Does that happen often, or just when you’re talking about your conquest?"

 

“Me Conquest?” he puzzled.

 

“Yes, well, that’s meant to mean the sweetheart whose graces you won over in the park.”

 

Oooh, that’s what the word be meaning, huh?  Well then, sure, I admit I do get me a bit twitchy when I get thinkin’ about them hearts I done won over in the park, and them I done in the woods, and down by the lake and the playground too.”

 

“Yes, sir, I got me plenty of them sweet lil’ conquest stories to be telling yeah, Doc.  So don’t you go worrying none,” he beamed brightly while his right eye drooped and his cheeks were twitching up a storm.

 

“Well, thank you for sharing that with me.  If you have something else you’d like to add to that, please feel free to speak as you wish?”

 

As Pudge Maplethorpe was mauling over his response, the coachmen called out from above.  "We’ve arrived, Sir.  A minute more and I’ll be stopped to open the gate."

 

Looking out the window, Pudge watched as the coach made its way down the estate road, sizing up the vastness of the estate as he did.  But what truly captured his attention was a swing hanging from a tree, and beside it, a bicycle and a dollhouse for a child to play in, and all sitting but a hop, skip, and jump away from the mansion’s front entrance.

 

"We've arrive, Mr. Maplethorpe,” the coachmen called out upon bringing the horse to a halt.

 

“Fine, thank you, Mason.  Now, if you’d kindly show my guest to his room.”

 

"I got me a room?  You ain't takin’ me back to jail?"

 

"No, of course not, I told you, I need me someone to talk to. Now, come along . . ."

 

As they disembarked the coach, Pudge took another look at the swing hanging down from a branch of a nearby Willow tree.  "You're got yourself a swing, and a girl’s bicycle too."

 

"Yes, it's my daughters.  Now, just follow Mr. Mason and keep your nose in the direction we are going.  You need be introduced to Mr. Smitty, my Butler," he said as he hastily made way toward the man dressed in a black tail coat who was advancing toward them.

 

"Mr. Smitty, I’d like you to meet Mr. Maplethrorpe," he said while turning to point, only when he did, Pudge was gone, moved on, now standing beside the girl's bicycle, bend over sniffing the seat.

 

"Mmm, mmm," he said breathing in deeply.  "I can still smell the scent her sweet lil’ puss done left behind when rubbing along this long neck seat.  And by the richness of the smell, I’d say the lil’ devil weren’t wear no panties, and on purpose, so she be getting her jollies while peddling.”

 

"Stop that, Sir,” Jonathan erupted, angrily, “Your language is so base as to be inflammatory.  Now kindly come here and leave Lilly's bicycle alone."

 

"Lilly, is it?" he said as he walked the distance over to shake the hand of the rather stiff looking butler, Mr. Smitty.

 

"Lilly!  Mmm, that be a sweet name.  Fits well with the smell too, leastwise I be thinkin’.”

 

“What do you have to said about that, Smitty?” he turned to ask.  Is I right or is I wrong?  I ask b’cuz I just be knowin’ you be sniffing those pink panties of hers the day long, and beating off at night with the blue ones you keep hid under the pillow.”

 

Ain’t that right, Smitty, huh?” He asked with a nudge, and more in the form of a statement than a question.  Something that Smitty, that rod-stiff butler didn't much take a liking to.

 

"Sir!  Dr. Snivel, is this cretin to stay with us?"  He asked, while peering at Pudge, the cretin, with a snarling upper lip!

 

"Yes, Smitty,” Doctor Snivel replied.  “I must ask you to please indulge me the favor.”

 

“Important, is it?”

 

“Direly so,” he replied, as he looked down at his feet.  “You might say I’ve a lot to win, but far more to lose.”

 

“So you see, it’s important we extend him every courtesy, and that would include providing him with the Garden suite in the West wing."

 

"But, sir, that's reserved for family, and your Office is but a short walk down the hall."

 

"Yes, of course, but that is how I wish it to be.  For the duration of his stay, Mr. Maplethorpe is to be treated as family.  I want him to feel comfortable, relaxed, feeling as though he were family.  Is that understood, Smitty?"

 

"Yes sir," he replied grudgingly, shaking his head as he did."

 

"Well that is quite good of you sir," Pudge, 'the cretin', expressed his appreciation, while spittle dripped down in dangly strands from out his mouth, and for which Jonathen, the shrink, handed him a hankie.

 

"Thank you, good sir,” he said wiping his mouth.

 

“It’s true, sometimes I be spittin’ me some, but don’t you worry none.  If it is a good talker you wish me to be, then a riot of words shall ring through your ears." He said with a grin, snidely crooked to the side.  Not so much by the generous offerings that’d just been handed to him on a silver tray, as it was a result of the conclusions he’d drawn as to why!

 

He had something the good doctor wanted, and it wasn’t his good company, and definitely not for his oratorical skills.

 

What he wanted, what he needed, was for Pudge, the cretin, to buy into his plan to liberalize the judicial system.  Something he’d heard justice Clifford Mopple espouse in court when handing down his sentence. 

 

Not that he thought fixing up the whole jailing business was a bad idea, of that he felt quit sure.  It was just that the good doctor needed his cooperation to make that happen.  Without it he was lost, perhaps even his reputation ruined for having even suggested such a thing.

 

At first, he did find that somewhat troublesome, but after he got a whiff of that bicycle seat all that changed like the weather from bad to good.

 

There wasn’t a storm brewing as he’d feared.  It was all bright and sunny with him calling the shots.  If they needed his help, needed him to stay put, they’d have to tend to his wishes, no matter what, or else!

 

And so, one can understand why we find Pudge, the cretin, smiling and listening ever-so attentively as the good doctor continues to pile on the sweetness . . .

 

"Thank you, Mr. Maplethrope, for being so cordial and obliging.  Now, Smitty will show you to your room, and provide for your every need.  Supper will be at 5.”

 

---

 

That night at dinner, Pudge, the cretin, got his first real life sniff of that young sweet Lilly. Drawing it in most deeply when she raised the hem of her flock when offering a curtsy upon her father's introduction.

 

And sweet it was too, offering a mouth watering sight, heightened all the more by a glimpse of her panties beneath a hem of her skirt.

 

"Yum-yum, my, but if this lil’ angel ain’t just as scrumptious under as over."

 

"Lilly!” Jonathan, her father, exclaimed.  “Lower that skirt immediately, you are showing yourself.  Now come sit, your dinner is going cold.”

 

"No, no,” Pudge, the cretin, cut in.  “She can sit her pretty little bottom right here on me lap and nibble on mine.  And don’t you go worrin’ none, Papa.  Me, and me Mister Johnny got us plenty to share."

 

Jonathan stared daggers at him, the sound of his grinding jaw could be heard across the table.  But it bothered Pudge, the cretin, not a wick.  Instead he simply met him eye-to-eye, as he put his hands around Lilly's waist to boost her up atop his lap.

 

As he sat there watching Pudge begin tickling his daughter in every which way but proper, his first thought was to immediately put a stop to it as any father would.  But given that he so desperately needed Pudge’s cooperation, the words of admonishment he need say were left unspoken, caught in his throat.

 

So instead, he just sat and watched that slobbering cretin start licking his daughters face while his hands foraged around beneath her skirt while remaining mum.

 

‘Why’?  You might wish to ask.  Because he knew to do otherwise would have most certainly ended with Pudge walking out on him, and along with him, justice Mopple, whose support he needed, least he be left along to face the claw back from those who wanted the current system of crime and punishment to remain as it is.  The outcome, no doubt, resulting in his ruination.

 

So, yes, he had a lot at stake, and he felt that pressure.  And never more so then when a moment later, Lilly broke out with a squeal, while Pudge, the cretin, held up his moist finger to give it a sniff.

 

“Umm, the smell of Lily,” he waxed euphoric.  “It a smell that makes me mouth water, and me Mister Johnson to stand up to look.”

 

Now there it was all out in the open, in his face, the calling of the wolf to warn all that he was on the scent and prepared to pounce.  And no doubt would’ve done just that if not for Jonathan’s sudden awakening. 

 

“Lilly honey, I think it’s time for bed,” he said, with a darting face, looking off to the side so as not to have to look neither his daughter nor that cretin in the eye.

 

“I’m going to bed as well, Mr. Maplethorpe, and I would advise you to do the same.  “You do have a busy day tomorrow after all, beginning at 8 a.m. sharp in my office.”

 

“Aye, ‘we’ll’ be there and ready to do us some talkin’.”

 

“We, us?”

 

“Aye, sir, me Johnny n’ me.   He ain’t one to be left alone once he’s got a whiff.  Truth be said, sir, I think me Johnny would be growing wings if he thought it would help him stay on the scent.”

 

---

 

When Jonathan entered his office early the next morning, he was immediately greeted by the right honorable, judge Mopple, who had released Pudge from jail and placed him in Jonathan's care.

 

"Justice Mopple, how unexpected.  What brings you hear, your honor?"

 

"Well, Dr. Snivel, I dislike having to be so direct, but I simply must ask.  Have you make any breakthroughs with our irredeemable reprobate as of yet?  I needn't remind you that it's not only my neck in the noose."

 

"Yes, your honor, I’m aware of that.  Although I think that might apply more so to me given that it’s my head the naysayers will be going after.  But in answer to your question, no, your Honor.  I had planned to begin our sessions today, within the hour to be exact.  But I can assure you that our time spent together has thus far not been a waste.” 

 

“Of course, our engagements have only been of an informal nature, not in a therapeutic setting, but from what I've seen thus far, I remain just as certain of my original diagnosis; that the repetitive nature of his crimes, are but the product of an assailed, set upon, man completely lacking impulse control.”

 

“A problem that requires immediate psychological intervention if ever he is to become a citizen of good standing, and not a danger.”

 

"Yes, so you’ve said and we’re both committed to seeing that happen.  In providing Mr. Maplethorpe with the tools to effectively manage that destructive impulsivity we will, in fact, have a new tool to use to bring a stop to that revolving door, not to mention, make Mr. Maplethorpe a right honorable man who is no longer a danger to society.”

 

“Yes Sir, that is correct, and I want nothing more than to succeed.  But should I fail, you'll no doubt be forced into retirement, while with me, the naysayers will have their day.  My name spoken in infamy at best, and leaving me ruined at worst!"

 

"Then you best hope you find Mr. Maplethorpe amenable to change, or else . . ." he said as he reached into his coat pocket to retrieve a kerchief, one he had previously crafted into the form of a noose.  Then rising up from his seat, he tossed the makeshift noose upon Dr. Snivel's desk as he stalked out of the room.

 

---

 

For an abominably long moment, Jonathan Snivel remained seated, frozen in place, listening to his racing heart throb.  For the first time in his life, he felt near paralyzed with fear.

 

How did this happen?  How did it come to this?  All questions he kept asking himself.  Was it his fault?  Had he been so blinded by his own cause for celebrity that he couldn't see this train wreck coming?  Or was it just that Pudge, the conductor of that train, was just so damn evil that nothing short of a lobotomy could have affected change in the man.

 

It was all so excruciatingly painful to think about, but he had no choice.  Without Pudge's full cooperation his ruination was all but imminent.

 

And he was in the midst of mentally running through his catalog of options when he heard a knock on his door, and saw Pudge's head poking in. 

 

"Doctor, sir, good morning to ya.  You said to be here at 8 chirps from the Cuckoo and I be here to start me talkin’ and you can do you some listening."

 

"Yes, Pudge, come in.  I need to get something straight with you before we go any further.”

 

"Yes sir, I be all ears.  But you can’t taking too long on account of sweet lil' Lilly’s panties are still be out to dry.  And with Bow-wow Bowser out loose . . . well, sir, you know.  Gentlemen be gentlemen, and hungry dogs be just that.  Hungry dogs!”

 

"Excuse me?”

 

"Her panties, sir.  You see, we was outside playing fishy when she slipped in a puddle."

 

"Fishy?  We haven't a fish pond.”

 

"No Sir, of course not, but you got you a puddle, one with plenty of skeeters and gnats."

 

"You see, what I do is have sweet little Lilly coat me pole and me dangling balls with honey so she can go fishing for them bugs.”

 

“And the the little devil she paste it on good and plenty too.  Up, down, all-a-round me 9 inches.  That way, she'll get her fill of honey and me milk when it comes time for her to lick off her catch."

 

"But don't you worry none, Papa.  She's already getting quite use to the taste of them bugs that stick, and a taste me nut too."

 

"Fact, she spilled not a drop this morning," he said with a smile that broadened into a sunlit grin.

 

"No coughing, no hacking, just her cute little tonsils bobbing up and down.  And believe me, Papa, her breakfast was a tummy filler to be sure.”

 

“A real belcher it was too.  More bugs in the honey than you can count, and a pint full of me spooge and a slice of toast.”

 

“My, my,” he gloated, “What more could a growing girl need to grow up to be a proper strumpet, worth her callers 50 cents spent, or dollar, if she be offering up her ass too.”

 

"But I gott’ta ask a favor from you.   Please, if tomorrow she should ask you for some more porridge in the morning, I would prefer you hold off and allow her appetite to linger a little longer.  At least until such time as old floppy-eared, Bow-Wow Bowser, is ready to add his chowder to the mix."

 

“After all, Papa, we wouldn’t want her grow up to be a little chubby now would we?”

 

WHAT !!!”  Jonathan exploded, his lit fuse finally touching powder.  You monster, you fiend!  Go bake in Hell!”

 

"And to think I believed there was something in you worth redeeming.  That I really didn’t see an irredeemably bad person in you, just a person lacking the ability to control his chronic impulsivity.  A disorder I actually believed I could cure you of.  Imagine that,” he said in disgust.

 

“Well, I can’t say I much understand a word of that, but if you be meaning all that bird in the hand bullshit, I’d say, thank’ ya, but only a damn fool would let the two in the bush get away.”

 

"There you go,” Jonathan replied, “You just made my point.  A two year old has more control over their impulsivity that you.  Now matter what the cost, jail, emasculation, thumbscrews, no matter.  You get your eyes set on something, you’re going to reach out and take it.”

 

"Yeah, well, so what?  Like I done told you, and justice Mopple before you in court.  Only a fool would let them two in the bush get away.”

 

“Yet, after I done told’ ya both all that, what do you do?  The two of you go right on scheming on me, wantin’ to make me your guinea pig anyway.”

 

“So I figured, okay, I’ll play.  Why not?  You need me to play your guinea pig, and I don’t need you for shit.  That gives me a card up to start.”

 

“A good hand it is too, one that makes the game pretty damn hard for me to lose, while you on the other hand, have everything to lose.  Your good name for example, which would surly turn to mush once the public learns how you put public safety at risk by letting me out of jail before me time.”

 

“Now, I ain’t no genius or nothing, but it don’t take no genius to figure out who had the winning hand.  I did.

 

“And I was fixing to play me hand out, too.  Me plan:  First I get me out of jail, and then I’d hustle me some money from out your pockets.  Not train-loads of money mind you, just enough so that we can part ways with our mutual self-respect still in tact.”

 

“But I got to tell yeah up front.  Once I got a whiff of that bicycle seat, I said to me-self, fuck the small shit!  I’m going to pull me a winning hand out of me back pocket and bust you both right now.”

 

“So here’s me cards, read’em and weep!”

 

“First, you’ll see the the King of diamonds.  That’s the King that likes your digs, and wants his share.  A share worthy a king who don’t take to being treated as a guest.”

 

“Now have a look at me second card, the King of hearts.  That be me heart.  The heart Lil’ Lilly is going to be feeling pumping through me cock when I be shooting down her gullet, up her ass n' when filling her cunt, five, six times a day depending on me mood.”

 

“Now look at be third card, the King of clubs.  The club you are going to be feeling up your ass when you show the least hesitation when I tell to open wide to swallow me piss.”

 

“Now me forth king, the old spaded fellow who’s there to remind you not to fuck with me.  Elsewise I be picking up me shears to make a spade of you too.”

 

“And last of all the Joker, the wild card I be holding, the card that make me the winner and you the loser.  The loser of your pants, your daughter, everything you own, but your precious reputation.”

 

“That you can keep, wear it even, to impress your public and me ol’ cellmates who are goin’ to be hanging with me, eating your food, sleeping in your bed, and fucking your lovely lil’ Lilly.”

 

“That is, whenever Bow-Wow Bowser is just too tuckered to take his turn!  I mean every bloke, two legged or four, can’t be expected to get it up all the time, ya’ know,” He said, breaking out in a chuckle.

 

“Now then, with all that out of the way, I want to come with me to give Smitty, the butler, the boot.  Then you and me are going to go fish’ in.

 

“And don’t you worry none, Papa.  Lil’ Lilly is going to teach’ ya what you don’t know.   Show you how to handle me pole and me balls and how to slick me up with plenty of honey.”

 

Then when I take Lilly fish’in you’ll know how to bait the poles of me jailhouse pals, and of course, Bowser, who Lilly will tell’ ya, simply loves a good slick’in and lick’in . . .

 

Slick’in and Lick’in, lick’in, lick’in,” he heard the word following him down into the darkness.  The dead empty part of his head, that was now but an empty, vacant shell of its former self after the full-frontal lobotomy Pudge had just given him.  A process that rendered him numb to all but the feeling of Pudge’s silver spoon dipping into the uncapped gray matter to enjoy another spoonfull.

 

And, of course, let us not forget the sound of his scream as he fell into that darkness, and the sound of Pudge laughing it up and dancing about excitedly, like a boxer who’d just cold-cocked his opponent in the twelfth round.

 

Pow!   I be the winner, I be the winner, and you Doctor, you had your smarts aplenty, but now you only got your dumbs.”

 

“Fact, you look to have not a lick of gray matter left in that hollowed out head of yours,” he said, grinning, while giving the ‘silver spoon’ one final lick!

 

Figuratively speaking, of course, because in fact, my mention of a ‘silver spoon’ is simply an allegorical construct I’ve used to suggest a deeper meaning, much in the way Fava beans or Hannibal would.

 

You do understand that, right?  (*_*)

 

 

Das ende.

 

by Bad Robot

aka Hunsi

 

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Part II

Coming soon to a Book Store near you  . . .

 

 

 

 

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