Author: Honey Moon
Title: Lucy's Little Problem
Universe: I Love Lucy
Keywords: drunk, blackout, cuckold, impregnation, 


     Lucy’s Little Problem
     An I Love Lucy story

     
     By Honey Moon
     
     
     
     Ross watched the good looking red head and sighed. With 
each run-through of the simple script for the Vitameatavegamin 
commercial, she became more and more confused. “Ms. 
Mcgillicutty?” he asked quietly. “Are you alright?”
     
     She looked at him with glassy eyes. “Hmm?”
     
     The director shook his head. “Are you alright?”
     
     She grinned a lopsided grin. “Oh I feel fine but you know it's 
HOT in here!”
     
     Ross grimaced. “Well do you think you'll be able to go on 
with the show?” He waited for an answer that didn’t arrive. “Well, 
do you?”
     
     The swaying woman peered into his eyes. “What?”
     
     Ross motioned to one of his stage hands. “Joe!” He tried to 
calm down. “I think you'd better take a little rest until show time.”
     
     The wanna-be actress seemed to have a one track mind. 
“Yeah boy it sure is hot in here!”
     
     He didn’t have time to waste on troublesome ad girls. “Joe, 
would you take Ms. Mcgillicutty to one of the dressing rooms and 
let her rest until show time?”
     
     Joe hustled over at the director’s call. “Well sure, come on 
Ms. Mcgillicutty.” He placed a hand on her arm and led her from 
the stage.
     
     Staggering along, the actress made sure to bring along the 
refreshing bottle of tonic. “Joe is it hot in here to you?” she asked 
as they went back stage.
     
     Joe glanced up at the statuesque redhead and grinned. “It is a 
bit warm, Ms. Mcgillicutty. Let’s see about getting you somewhere 
cool.” Damn! That Ricky sure knew how to pick ‘em! Being 
married didn’t seem to slow him down at all. It must be his hot 
Cuban blood. This piece of tart was tall, just the way he liked ‘em! 
Redheaded, too. Joe wondered if it was real or bottled. No matter, 
he’d be finding out soon enough.
     
     He found an empty dressing room and brought the toasted 
woman inside. She swayed gently as he locked the door and 
pocketed the key. Joe motioned to the battered sofa someone had 
dragged into the small room. “Sit down, Ms. Mcgillicutty.” He 
eyed the bottle she clutched in her hand. “Why not take another 
sip?”
     
     “Lucy.” Lucy gasped as she flopped onto the threadbare 
furniture. “Call me Vita meaty vegga mega min girl Lucy.” She 
giggled. “This stuff sorta grows on ya, don’t it?”
     
     “I’m sure it does.” At 23 percent alcohol, Joe was positive it 
would grow on anyone! He tried not to grin as she drained the rest 
of the bottle in three gulps.
     
     “Tasty! Jush, jush like candies.” She muttered as she slumped 
down and slowly tipped to the side. The redhead giggled as her 
cute little hat was knocked crooked.
     
     Joe gently shook her shoulder. “Ms. Mcgillicutty?” he said 
softly. He shook harder. “Lucy?”
     
     “Oh Ricky, let me sleep.” She whined softly.
     
     Joe laughed as she began to snore. “Damn it all. I love my 
job!” He sat next to the passed out actress and placed his right 
hand on her knee. When she showed no sign of responding, his 
hand reached lower and gently grasped the hem of her dress. 
Slowly, he lifted the fabric, exposing more and more of her 
gorgeous milky smooth flesh. 
     
     Long and lean, Joe really appreciated her shapely leg as his 
hand caressed her warm thigh. He let out a sigh when his fingertips 
encountered the silky material of her undergarment. “Just relax, 
Lucy girl.” he muttered as his left hand joined his right.
     
     “Contains meat!” the plastered girl muttered as hands slowly 
but surely began to tug her panties down.
     
     “It will.” Joe laughed quietly as he slipped the silky garment 
down those wicked legs and pulled them off over her shoes. “It’s 
gonna contain a lot of meat in a minute!”
     
     Lucy murmured and moaned as Joe flipped up her skirt to 
gaze lovingly down at her glory. The thatch of red hair nearly 
glowed like fine copper wire as it framed the prettiest little snatch 
he had ever seen! “Oh God! Redhead at both ends! I think I’m in 
love!”
     
     “Love the taste!” the actress whispered as Joe carefully 
repositioned her on the battered sofa. He lifted one limp leg up on 
the back cushion, while letting the other simply slip off until her 
one foot was firmly on the floor.
     
     “I love the taste too.” He gasped as he dropped to his knees 
on the floor. Joe had been stationed in Paris France at the close of 
the war. Several eager and grateful young Mademoiselles had 
taught him a few things about pleasing a woman. He took off his 
headset and placed it on the floor. With a sigh he leaned forward, 
bringing his face right between those gorgeous thighs.
     
     Her musky taste thrilled him as he lapped between honeyed 
lips. Lucy moaned as he happily licked away. “Oh Ricky!” she 
cooed as his tongue lavished attention on her swollen little pearl.
     
     Joe froze as she continued in her slurred ramblings. “Ricky is 
a dirty boy! You know I like when you treat my kitty so nice!”
     
     He almost laughed. So Ricky was dallying with this two-bit 
actress! He wondered what the bandleader’s wife would do if she 
ever found out. No matter. It could come in handy if Ricky ever 
said anything about him doing time with this trick. The Cuban 
would shut his mouth tight if he thought his wife would discover 
he was having an affair with this redheaded tramp!
     
     He continued lapping away. The fact that the Cuban 
bandleader had plowed this furrow didn’t bother him in the least. 
Joe had learned to appreciate ‘sloppy seconds’ back in his army 
days. Besides, he could tell this harlot hadn’t done anything this 
fine day. Her snatch was about the sweetest he had ever tasted!
     
     She moaned again as he continued his happy work. Sozzled 
or not, the actress sure was responding! It was all he could do to 
pin her hips down as he worked her closer to exploding! When she 
went off, he greedily lapped away. He drank down her essence as 
she thrashed on the sofa. 
     
     Joe got up off the floor and double checked that the door was 
locked. He didn’t need any interruptions now! Watching the lovely 
woman passed out on the battered sofa, his hands went to his belt. 
“It’s a pure shame I can’t take my time with you, sweetie.” He 
muttered as he undid the buckle and then his trouser buttons. “This 
is gonna have to be a quickie!”
     
     Relieved of the confines of his clothing, Joe’s cock sprang 
proudly forward. He took a shuffling step and joined the beauty on 
the battered cushions. “Look what you’ve done to me, girlie!” he 
said softly as shimmering syrupy fluid dripped from the crown of 
his engorged member. “I’m so hard I ache! This’ll teach you to be 
a tease!”
     
     He slipped his right arm under her left knee, and lifted the 
limp leg high. Groping with his left hand, he lined the head of his 
member against the honey sweet opening of her center. Joe 
groaned low in his throat as his throbbing organ slowly sank into 
the whimpering girl. He paused; fearful she would awake, but she 
was so toasted it didn’t really make much of a difference. 
     
     “That’s it girlie. Take it like a professional.” He jammed his 
hips forward, completely burying himself in exquisite warmth. 
Damn! This girl was tight! She was so much better then any red 
light girl he had ever made financial arrangements with! He 
withdrew until just the flaring head was encased in her silky 
sheath, and then plunged right back in.
     
     The silky grasping warmth made him open his eyes wide. 
“Damn! Forgot the fish-skin! Oh well. I don’t think she’ll mind, do 
you, Lucy Mcgillicutty?”
     
     The redhead only moaned in answer, as he began to thrust 
into her body. Joe took an added risk. He really couldn’t resist. As 
he pumped his manhood into her, he fumbled at the buttons of her 
dress. “Beautiful!” he gasped as he bared her modest breasts. 
Damn it, he loved tall women! As he hammered into her, he bent 
low and captured a pert nipple between his lips.
     
     In and out his turgid member sawed into glorious grasping 
sucking warmth. Lucy stirred and moaned, but Joe’s luck held as 
she remained in the land of alcoholic bliss. Her body knew what 
was happening though, and Lucy’s breathing grew heavy and 
ragged.
     
     “That’s it girlie! Work with me! You know you want this!” 
He recaptured that perky nipple again, and let his teeth playfully 
nip. The actress moaned throatily at this. “Oh, you like it rough? 
What a nasty girl you are!” He was growing close, so Joe pulled 
out all the stops!
     
     Working her like a dancehall girl, Joe just pounded into the 
moaning redhead. “Gonna shoot!” he gasped as he felt his balls 
tighten. He knew he should pull out, but this tease had asked for 
any trouble she may end up in! “Take it! Take it all!”
     
     Lucy groaned and thrashed. Her body reached its peak, even 
if her mind was clouded by the Vitameatavegamin. “Ricky!” she 
whimpered, as the man above her went rigid in his passion.
     
     Joe couldn’t hold back any more! It was so hot the way she 
called out for the Cuban band leader even when she was passed 
out! He plunged in deep, bottoming out in her fantastic tightness. 
Ricky may be good, but Joe thought being a full blooded American 
made him better! It was a shame this tramp wouldn’t know. With 
that cheery though, he exploded! Rope after rope of thick gooey 
cream blasted deep into the sozzled girl. 
     
     When the last pulses of his member had eased, Joe slowly 
withdrew from the whimpering woman. “Damn, that was just what 
I needed.” He said softly as he blotted his face with a handkerchief. 
He pulled up his pants and straightened his tie. “Thanks, Ms 
Mcgillicutty!”
     
     “You’re welcome, Ricky.” She slurred softly.
     
     He laughed quietly. This was a great arrangement! If 
anything becomes of this, Ricky would get the blame! Hopefully 
his wife would understand if the bandleader should end up a 
father!
     
     Working quickly, Joe wrestled the still unconscious woman 
back into her panties, and buttoned her dress. “Have a good rest.” 
He said quietly as picked up his headphones and slipped from the 
room. 
     
     Lucy sighed. It had taken weeks for Ricky to stop teasing her 
over getting a little indisposed while trying to do that silly 
commercial. She smiled though. Tonight, if everything went right, 
would make up for everything! She sat nervously at the table in the 
club, as Ricky tried to figure out who the happy couple was.
     
     Ricky rushed to her table, beaming with pride and love when 
he saw her smile and nod. “Honey no! Really? Why didn’t you tell 
me?”
     
     “Why, you didn’t give me a chance!” she said through happy 
tears.
     
     Ricky jumped to his feet. “It’s me! I’m gonna be a father! 
How about that?” He pulled Lucy to her feet. “I want you to meet 
my mother, I mean my wife!”
     
     Lucy grinned happily as her loving husband began to sing to 
the cheering crowds. Everything was going to be just fine!