Application (MF nc FF) by holeFair PERSONAL STATEMENT I have been interested in philosophy since I was a girl. This is somewhat unusual, but then it is unusual for a child of either sex to be interested in this subject. It wasn't until I got to college that I could find people to talk to about it that shared my love for the subject. I threw myself into the work for my philosophy courses. Not interesting me as much, I didn't work as hard on other courses, which may explain why my grade-point average is not as high as it could be, perhaps you can overlook this. My senior essay, under the direction of Prof. Inge Reichbach, is on the influence of Schopenhauer on A.J. Ayer. Being that it hasn't always been easy to get exactly what that influence amounted to, I have spent many hours under Prof. Reichbach going over what there was to say. I am very proud of the resulting work, the honors committee gave it honorable mention. Required statement under the USA FEMININE Act: I have of course always made myself sexually available to the male professors and post-docs in the department. It's been extremely helpful in teaching me the proper role of women under the Emergency. Whenever called upon I have assumed the Availability Posture, displaying my slit to whatever man has been aroused by my presence. Men seem to believe that I am quite attractive, which I hesitate to say has been a bit of a burden. In some classes, the instructor has regularly asked me to remove my top so he could keep my breasts in view as he spoke and then has asked me to stay after class so he could relieve himself in my cunt. I have always complied readily with these requests, even when they resulted in some discomfort. Those classrooms can get cold, when my nipples get erect all the boys stare even more than they ordinarily would. RECOMMENDATION LETTERS Prof. Angus Pohl This is my letter of recommendation for Betty Harris, who is applying to graduate school. I hold her in high esteem, partly as a philosophy student, and partly as a source of pleasure for me and the other male members of the department (pardon the pun!). Miss Harris is the prettiest philosophy student we have had in several years, and doesn't always make a fool of herself when she opens her mouth. That's more than most of the boys majoring in Philosophy can say. Let me go into a bit of detail on Miss Harris's physical qualifications. She has a beautiful figure, but what makes her special is how she deploys her assets in satisfying the men who accost her under the terms of the USA FEMININE Act. I have had her in my office, and when I ask her to remove her clothing she does so in an innocent but enticing way that never fails to get me incredibly stiff. At my age, it's lucky if I can come once when fucking an undergraduate, but Betty has sometimes got me to come twice. She bares her breasts and vulva so winningly that I plunge my penis into her almost before what I know what I am doing, and come almost immediately. Unlike some girls, who clean themselves up as quickly as possible afterward, Betty takes her time, and sometimes kneels to lick my penis clean. She usually leaves her top off while performing this action, and the view alone is enough to stiffen me up again, and sometimes to ejaculate in her mouth. In summary, I recommend her without reservation. Prof. B.J. Austin Betty Harris has asked me to write her a recommendation letter. I am not in her department, and so I cannot comment on her qualifications in philosophy. In mathematics, she has done fairly well, although one gets the sense that she could have done even better if she had put her mind to it. I would like to comment on how well she performs her sexual duties at the College. I'll just mention one illuminating anecdote. I was observing one of our post-docs, who was her section instructor in advanced complex analysis. Even though she was sitting in the back row, he became aroused by her (she is very good looking), and asked her to display her slit in the front of the room. She walked to the front, displaying proper submissiveness, and raised her skirt high enough to show that she was not wearing panties, as prescribed by law. He asked her to stroke herself, and her vulva was soon amazingly engorged. (Many girls can do the stroking, but cannot get aroused, or convincingly simulate it, under circumstances such as these.) The post-doc unzipped and let his stiff penis out, then asked Miss Harris to turn and face the class while he fucked her. He pull her skirt up in back and she took his penis into her vagina. He stroked rhythmically back and forth. I was disappointed to see that he had trouble lecturing while doing this, but my disappointment had nothing to do with Miss Harris, even though she seemed to be responsible for the look of idiotic dreaminess on the instructor's face. It didn't take him long to plunge himself deeply into her and hold there while he came. Of course, I found this scene rather arousing, as did many of the boys (there weren't many girls) in the class. We took our own penises out and stroked them as we watched Betty get fucked, her breasts swinging in and out, and we all came pretty quickly. One of the boys sitting near Betty rose to his feet and ejaculated on her face and breasts. As you can see, you will not regret accepting Miss Harris as a graduate student. Whether she will ever finish as Ph.D. is not so clear, but perhaps not the most important issue. Prof. Inge Reichbach Betty Harris has asked me to write a letter of recommendation for her, and I am glad to comply. I can't remember having a student as dedicated and creative as Ms. Harris. She is easily qualified for admission to a Harvard-level school (Harvard itself if Cambridge ever reconstructs after the explosion in Boston that ushered in the so-called "Emergency"). She excelled in my class on Logical Positivist Phenomenology, and agreed when I suggested writing a senior essay on Schopenhauer and Ayer. Many philosophers have denied there is much connection between these two intellectual giants, but they're overlooking many subtle but unmistakable cross-connections between the two. Betty readily agreed to pursue the matter under my direction. It became necessary for us to spend many hours together to get a grip on the subject. As we worked, it became clear that one obstacle to her progress were her manifold duties under the insane USA FEMale INdoctrination in INferiority in Education Act, one of the many pieces of "faith-based" legislation that have subverted our constitution in recent years. If this act had been law when I was a girl, I would never have obtained the position I (still, precariously) hold. During our work together, Betty opened up to me. She became emotional at times describing how hard was for her to be raped --- there is no other word for it --- several times a week by the men of this University. She showed me some of the bruises she had sustained when one dean had become impatient with her chemise and ripped her bra off. Her beautiful breasts were like fragile flowers damaged by hail. I wanted to cry at the sheer waste. But I tried to comfort Betty as best I could, and we wound up becoming exceptionally close. It was hard for her to see how a logical positivist like A.J. Ayer could have much to say about Schopenhauerian pessimism, but I got her to draw parallels between what Wittgenstein said about things we could not speak about and things Schopenhauer had said were not worth thinking about. But she went far beyond my own thinking, and produced analyses of staggering insight, based partly on feminist epistemology and ontology. She had researched Butler's theory of relativism on her own, and proposed that sexual seduction of women by women was not necessarily rape. She explored this hypothesis experimentally, and I am not ashamed to say that I served as one of her subjects. It had been years since someone had touched me in the places she touched me. We took off our clothes and explored each other's bodies, and although the curves of her hips and breasts made my body look almost prismoidal, I felt completely at home with her. Our explorations seemed like a natural extension of her work, although the feelings we aroused in each others' clitorises could not be put into words; how very Wittgensteinian! I have always been quite self-conscious about my clitoris, which is large and becomes almost as erect as a penis when I am aroused, but she told me it was beautiful, especially since there was no man on the other end of it trying to ram it into her. She giggled, lay me down, and bestrode me, allowing my clitoris to stroke hers and then nestle inside the folds of her vagina. I was in heaven. I know that these recommendation letters are kept in strict confidence, yet I still have probably revealed more than I should have. But I wanted to convey how much this dear girl means to me, how much respect I have for her, and how much I beseech you to treat her well. ADDENDUM by the Universit of Kentucky censor. We have included Miss Reichbach's recommendation letter with some trepidation. Her remarks about the USA FEMININE Act might be deemed acts of war against the USA under the Emergency Powers Act. As Emergency President for Life George W. Bush has stated, "Every time someone criticizes the laws that preserve our liberty, they provide susteneration to the terrorists who hate everything we stand for, just as much as if they had nuked an American city themself." We have let the letter stand to avoid any harm to the applicant, especially since we in the censor's office have verified that Miss Harris's qualifications are just as the faculty say. She submitted to the routine examination we administer to all students applying to graduate school, and in addition to passing all loyalty tests with flying colors, she demonstrated her submissiveness by sucking the penises of all the staff members. She even licked the pussies of the secretaries (on our initiative, we hasten to assure you). She clearly is eager to move up to graduate school and conquer new worlds. In the meantime, we have every expectation that Frau Doktor Reichbach's case will get a thorough review by our office. Should she be declared an enemy combatant, we will make sure to make up for her dereliction of duty under the USA FEMININE Act. If past practice is an indication, she will be forcibly disrobed and her smelly old cunthole will be displayed to the entire world --- or at least _her_ entire world, which at that point will consist of the campus Security Office. Those boys tend to have certain habits we in the Censor's Office find somewhat distasteful, such as a proclivity to being aroused by the thought of violent penetration of an unwilling female, even one as wrinkled and dykey as soon-to-be-ex-Prof. Reichbach. But perhaps battering penetration by nine or ten police cocks is just what she needs --- to start with, anyway. After that we really don't know what becomes of enemy combatants. We hope that these issues do not distract from your work as admissions officers. Good luck and God Bless. Yours in Christ, ...