The Slut I Am, a Letter to My Therapist (Letter One, Uncle Jack) Goose's imagination running wild Dr. Watkins; As you recommended, I am writing this letter. I hope, as you suggested, that it would give each of us some deeper insight into whom and what I am. While at the same time, helping us to discover how I became the slut I am. Hopefully, it will also raise my self-esteem, allowing me to turn my life around, realizing that I am more than a sex object. I do not think becoming a slut was something that just happened overnight. It didn't come naturally either. I was not born a slut. No, I truly believe that becoming what I am took time. My predisposition for anything sexual seemed to grow as I grew, becoming more and more a part of my life. Thinking about it now, and trust me I do think about it. Becoming a slut seems to be something that took on a life of its own. I mean... my sex life is completely separate from my daily life. As separate as it may be however... my libido is still quite capable of consuming every other aspect of my life. I should add too, describing me as a slut might not be precise. You see, I brand myself a slut simply for the lack of a better word. Whore would work as well, being as I have fucked for money. Exhibitionist would fit too. I do love to fuck and suck in public. In fact, many words come to mind: home-wrecker, cock-teaser, lesbian. One might even call me a man-eater, for I have been know to chew them up and spit them out, figuratively of course, not literally. So, not knowing where to begin, I start with the beginning, the loss of my virginity. Everything begins with the first time I had my pussy mercilessly invaded by the male ego. That's the way I remember it anyway. It had nothing to do with love, sex or even my uncle`s hard cock. It was all about an older man wanting to feed his ego by fucking a young virgin. I am certain looking back, that the only reason Uncle Jack fucked me was to feel good about himself. I have come to realize this over the years as my understanding of men has developed. It wasn't about me, my pussy or even getting his rocks off. It was all about him knowing that his cock was the first to assault my still virgin and underdeveloped pussy. I was fourteen, my body just starting to fill out. My young breasts were barely more than small lumps, my nipples had not even begun to darken and swell. My hips had not yet begun to take the shape of a woman. The hair covering my cunt was no more than fuzz. Thinking about it now, it seems ironic. It was the first time my parents had gone out and left me alone. They had determined, that very night, that I was old enough to take care of myself while they went out to a New Year's eve party. I stayed up until mid-night watching the ball in Times Square fall on TV. After that, I went to bed. Feeling grown up, because of the new responsibility my parents had trusted me with, I slept soundly. That is until my Uncle Jack crawling into bed with me awakened me. You see Uncle Jack was living with us in our spare bedroom. This came about when his wife threw him out. Being as he had no place to go, he talked my mother, his sister into letting him stay with us until he could either work things out with my aunt or find a place of his own. At any rate, he was supposed to be gone too. Some of his friends had invited him out to celebrate the New Year as well. I remember being stunned, opening my eyes to see his face just inches from mine as he hovered over me. He was straddling me, his knees on either side of my narrow hips, his body weight heavy on my midsection. Leaning over, he kissed me hard, his mouth covering mine. I remember well the smell and taste of whiskey on him. I tried to turn my head away. It was impossible. He had me pinned between him and my pillow. I gasped for breath, sucking air through my nose. The smell of perspiration and cigarette smoke filled my senses. He must have seen the shock and panic in my eyes. He started whispering to me. Using soothing tones, he tried to ease my fear. "Just relax. Your old Uncle has a real treat for you." Did he actually think he was doing me a favor? Did he believe for one second that he was doing this for me? I felt paralyzed as he easily held my wrists with one massive hand, pinning them over my head to the mattress. His body sat heavily on my mid-section. Using his free hand, he unbuttoned my pajama top, smiling wickedly as he bared my chest. "Look at you," he said. "You don't even have any tits yet." As he pinched and bit my immature nipples, I cringed and cried out. Anger and fear flooded over me. "Stop. What are you doing?" He ignored my pleas and began to push my pajama bottoms, along with my panties, down over my slender hips. I think it was then that I realized he was already naked. Although it was dark in the room, there was just enough moonlight shining through the window to silhouette his hairy chest. Somehow, he managed to remove my pajama bottoms completely, leaving me naked from the waist down. I tried to sound more forceful. "Stop or I will tell Daddy." He pinched my cheeks in his powerful hand, forcing me to look into his evil eyes. "If you tell anybody, I will kill your Daddy and your Mama. Do you understand that?" I began to cry. He said, "Do you understand?" I nodded my head as best I could. I believed him. He shifted his weight so that he was kneeling between my legs. That was when I first saw his cock jutting toward the ceiling; long, hard and menacing. I watched in awe, as he spit in the palm of his hand and began to spread his saliva onto what seemed like a massive head. He spit again, this time onto his fingertips, rubbing the spittle between my legs. As he did, a finger probed my pussy, searching for my opening. Finally,finding my hole, he forced his finger inside me. Still dry, my cunt resisted the intrusion. Undeterred, he continued to push. Finally giving up, he spat on my unforgiving cunt lips several times. "That's better," he said, as his finger sank inside me to the first knuckle. He spat on his cock again, jutting his hips upward to show me. "Now it's time for the real thing sweetie. You see this?" He shook his cock at me. "I'm gonna stick this baby in you sweet little cunt." I didn't say anything, staring at what seemed far too big to go inside me. With one hand, he guided the head of his monster between my pussy's still closed lips. "This may hurt a little but trust me. You'll like it before were done." The pain was excruciating as he forced the head of his cock past my virgin cunt lips, sliding the head up and down my slit until he found my tiny hole. He pushed hard forcing the tip of his cock inside me. I cried out in pain. He laughed. "There ain't nothing like a screaming virgin." He continued to push and thrust for what seemed like an eternity. With each push, I could feel him sinking a little deeper. Finally, he said. "That's it baby. You're a woman now. You got it all." I didn't like being a woman. Being a woman hurt. Gritting my teeth, I lay motionless as he thrust himself in and out of me. He fucked me hard and fast. All I could do was lie there, wondering when it would be over. How long would this go on? I asked myself. My answer came quickly. "God," he mumbled as he threw his head back. "That is some really tight pussy. I'm gonna cum already." I had no idea what any of that meant. Then I felt him thrust harder, plunging even deeper inside me. Next, I felt his cock pulsing and throbbing. Then came the wetness of his cum and the shrinking of his cock. As he softened, my tight pussy pushed the intruder out. I thought he would leave. I was wrong. He rolled onto his side. "Just give me a couple of minutes baby and I'll be as good as new." I lay perfectly still, not knowing what he meant, until he took my hand and placed it on his shrunken meat. I tried to pull back but he was too strong. "Stroke it," he said as he moved my hand up and down the slightly swollen length. As he did, I could feel him once again becoming hard, expanding in my childish hand. "That's a good girl. You're a fast learner." I was still stroking his meat, when suddenly he moved so that he was kneeling beside me. Pushing my hand away, he held the monster between his thumb and forefinger, pointing it directly at my face. Then, to my surprise, he started trying to push it between my lips. I gritted my teeth, not sure what he wanted me to do but knowing I didn't want to do it. "Suck it." His voice was gruff and angry. I rolled my eyes up to look at him. "I said quit fucking around and suck it." Scared not to, I reluctantly opened my mouth to accept him. Again, my nostrils were offended. This time it was the smell of stale urine. He tasted bitter. Still, I felt I had no choice. He grabbed a handful of my hair, pushing my lips toward his pubic hair until I gagged. I felt as though I was going to vomit as the head of his dick bumped against the back of my throat again and again. As my mouth began to salivate, I heard him say. "That's it baby, get it good and wet. We're going to need the lubrication. I had no idea what he meant, until he rolled me over onto my stomach and started pressing the head of his dick against my asshole. Once again, I began to cry. It hurt like hell as he pushed the head into my ass. I screamed out in pain, before burying my face in my pillow. I clutched the sheets so tight my fingers ached, begging him to stop. The more I begged him to stop, the harder he pushed until his cock slipped into my tiny asshole. He never gave my body a chance to adjust to the intrusion. Instead, he immediately pushed the entire length into me. Without hesitation, he started humping my ass. It felt as though he were tearing me apart as he repeatedly pounded his meat into my ass, each stroke becoming more demanding than the last. Finally, I felt the pulsing again and knew he was done. I waited for his cock to start shrinking as it had before. To my surprise however, he stayed hard. "Damn," he said. "I think I'm gonna cum again." With that, he pulled back, removing the intruder from my ass. I breathed a sigh of relief. My reprieve was only momentary however as he re-aimed his cock, plunging once more into my defenseless cunt. Grabbing my ass cheeks, he raised my butt up off the bed pulling my ass hard against him. Over and over, he pounded me until once again; I felt the pulsing inside me. "Oh Baby," he said. "That was hot. I've never cum twice in a row like that." He reminded me once more that if I told anyone, he would kill my mother and father. Then, he was gone. He left me there hurting, crying and bleeding. I lay in bed for two days, depressed, my pussy and ass hurting. When my mother would ask me what was wrong, I told her I was sick. She accepted my illness as some kind of flu virus. It wasn't until a few weeks later that I really got sick. That time I thought it was the flu. I couldn't hold anything on my stomach and I ached all over. It was then that my mother took me to the doctor. I was pregnant. Naturally, my parents wanted to know who the father was. I remember my dad putting it so delicately; "Who the hell have you been fucking you little slut?" I really wanted to tell him. The only thing that stopped me was that Uncle Jack's threats kept coming back to me. I hated my mother and father for the way they were treating me. Still though, I did not want them dead. Besides that, I really didn't think they would believe me. With all of that in mind, I just kept saying; "I don't know." That just made things worse. My not knowing could only mean that I had fucked more than one boy. Being fourteen, pregnant and living in a small town is not an enviable situation, not for me and especially for my parents. They decided I should go live with my Aunt Charlotte for a while. (To be continued)