Always and Forever by Girl Friday
Copy write 2003, all rights reserved
Comments may be directed to girl_friday_70 AT yahoo DOT com


Always and Forever


20 September 2003


My Darling,

It was a year ago today that you left, and though I know you will
not read this letter, I still feel the need to commit the words to
paper.

Do you remember the day you asked me to marry you? It was a
beautiful day.  I had just met your parents for the first time when
you pulled me out the back door. The meadow was full of wildflowers.
The scent of honeysuckle and wild sage surrounded us.  We made love
in the tall grass as a gentle rain started to fall.  I remember how
good it felt when I sank down upon you.  I stopped to savor the
feeling of being joined, reveling in the closeness.  You kissed the
palm of my hand and slipped the ring on my finger.

"Always and forever," you whispered.  

Those words are seared on my soul.

I heard them again on our wedding day.  We stood on the beach, our
family and friends around us.  I can still hear the waves crashing
against the rocks, smell the scent of the ocean, and taste the spray
on my lips.  The wind caught my hair and swirled it around us as you
kissed me.  

"Always and forever."  

We whispered it together, as the cheering of our loved ones
celebrated our union.

That night we snuck out to the beach and made love in the sand.  The
waves caressed our bodies as the surf rolled in around us.  Your kiss
was wet and tasted of the sea.  In that moment I felt all things were
possible as long as we were together.

A year ago it ended.  

I still don't understand.  Intellectually, I know what happened. 
It's my heart that hasn't recovered.  Now I wear your ring on a chain
around my neck.  It rests between my breasts, a tangible weight to
match the emptiness of my soul.  I can still remember the look in the
State Trooper's eyes as he handed me your ring, flecked with the dark
red of dried blood.  

The flecks are still there.  I can't bear to wash them off.

The sun is setting, My Darling, and the day is drawing to its end. 
Another day without you.  I can hear the waves crashing against the
rocks in the distance.  The tears I cry today are my last.  A feeling
of peace and joy surrounds me.
  
Tonight, I will go to the beach and lay down in the surf, the words
you whispered echoing in my ears.  I'm sure there will be tears.  I
can only hope they will understand-- and be happy that we are
together once more.

Until tonight, My Darling.  

Always and forever,
Moira