--Please do not reproduce this story without permission-- This is a work of fiction intended for adults. It contains graphic sexual depictions, so if you are offended by such material, or if it is against the laws of your area to view it, then please do not read it. All rights are reserved by the author. Any feedback or constructive criticism is welcome; please contact me at: geerling42@yahoo.com Story codes: FF, FM, FFM, oral, anal, bond, gang, preg Party Time by A. Geerling At the time, although it was a dangerous thing to do, I did it because I was really lonely, and because it was fun. Afterwards I often felt more lonely than before, or ended up hating myself, but I would get over it in a few days and find myself thinking about it, and then doing it again. I first did it at my kid sister's birthday party. A friend of hers was there, a girl I had never met, one of her classmates. My sister was sixteen, so this girl wasn’t much older, but she was really filled out in the chest, so that the buttons on her shirt were stretched. Her hair was jet black and waved around her shoulders the way it does in shampoo commercials. She had a pretty smile and a relaxed air about her. The party was boring as I listened to them all squeal and laugh and I ate my cake unobtrusively in the background; I was going out later, but when I saw this girl, and saw her see me, I thought about changing my plans. We met in the kitchen: she helped me bring in the dirty plates and glasses from the living room while the others played with the new video game dance mat that my sister got as a present. We made some idle chitchat, but far more than any other interest between us was this sexual tension that I had never felt with another girl before. She brushed her chest against my arm as she reached for a glass and I froze. She looked right in my face and did it again, harder. I smiled ever so slightly and then finished clearing the table. I went to the supply closet by the pantry, a walk-in space, and yanked the light on. She was right behind me, her hands encircling me and cupping my breasts. I turned and pulled her lips to mine and lost myself in a furious explosion of lust. I popped some of her buttons opening her shirt. Her undershirt came up and her bra unclasped at the front and out popped two of the most beautiful breasts I have ever seen. Round and supple with proud nipples, they filled my hands and hungry mouth. She was panting and tearing at my clothing, taking off my top and bra, fumbling at my jeans. I felt my pussy wet and swollen, sweltering with heat. With my jeans open her hand slid inside my underwear and down to my slit. She rubbed my clit and I almost came right away. I leaned back against the shelves as she went to her knees and put her head between my legs. Her tongue was experienced, her technique expert, lapping up my juices and tantalizing my clit until I came with a groan and fell down on my ass. She took off her own pants and put her cunt on my face while she continued to lick and finger me. She was shaved bare and her pussy was expectant and wide. Without much thought I went to work on her, my first time to go down on a woman. I was gratified to feel her stiffen and respond with yelps of pleasure from between my thighs. I licked and sucked, slid in my fingers one at a time until half my hand was in her, slipping in her juices. She shuddered in orgasm, once, twice, and the third time we came together, sweating and gasping for breath. It was great. We got dressed wordlessly, checking each other to see if we could hide what had happened. I checked outside the closet and the coast was clear. I went to the upstairs bathroom, she to the downstairs one. I got her a sewing kit and she fixed her shirt buttons really fast. She kissed me once and then went back to the party. I never learned her name and I never saw her again. It didn’t happen again for almost six months. As a junior in college, I was pretty busy and didn’t get out so much. But a guy in my psychology class invited me to a party and I went without too much expectation. The party was a standard affair and the guy was a flake, so I was leaving when I met this guy in the living room who didn’t even ask me to dance or offer me a drink, but just caught my elbow and pulled me over. He looked me right in the eye, deep and intent. He wasn’t drinking at all and what I remember most was just this animal intensity in his gaze. After a moment he said, “I thought you were somebody else. I apologize.” “That’s okay,” I said. “ I kinda liked it.” “Oh, yeah?” “Yeah.” I liked the look of him, and somehow things just came together in that moment. I tugged his arm in the direction of the bathroom, which was right there and miraculously empty at that moment. Without a pause he went in with me and we shut and locked the door. I was kissing him and he put his hands on me, gently, and then more insistently as I sucked on his tongue and ground my hip into his hardening crotch. He felt my hips and ass, then he rolled up my tank top and pushed up my bra. My nipples were painfully erect as he suckled at them. He scooped me up in his arms and put my ass on the counter where he could open my jeans and pull them down, panties and all. Someone pounded on the door and he pounded back. “Fuck off!” he said and then sank to his knees and sank his tongue in my cunt. His licking and slurping were enthusiastic, if not mind-blowing, but I was so lost in the strangeness of the moment that I didn’t mind his inexpertise. After only a minute or so he came up with a thick hard-on jutting out of a mat of thick brown pubic hair. “Stick it in me,” I said, and slid my ass right to the edge of the counter. He set the tip of his dick between my lips, slipping it around to get it lubed, and then he was in me and I groaned as he filled my swollen pussy. He thrust away, his balls slapped my ass, his lips on mine and spilling all over my jaw. I felt a hollow space inside me - my womb, I suppose - that longed to be filled, like an itch inside me. His dick reached right in and almost touched it, giving me a taste of pleasure, but inflaming me more. I needed his cock in me, all at once; I needed him to hit that spot, to fill me up. It was the first time I ever felt that, and I shouted with surprise and need. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled him into me so I could grind that cock into me more and more and more. It got closer and closer and my voice leaked out of me, a wailing series of grunts that mixed with his panting and echoed in the white bathroom. Someone was pounding on the door, angry voices shouting. Then the tip of his cock grew bright hot inside me; he hissed and twitched like mad in my grasp; and that was all I needed to reach that space inside me. I came hard and I raked my fingers across his back. I bucked and screeched until we collapsed on the floor. My orgasm shivered around inside me, aftershocks and quivers traveling up through me. The longing from my womb subsided, replaced by a warm glow. We lay there disengaged, panting on the floor, his semen running out of my cunt and my juices shining on his dick. The door opened. Somebody said, “Oh, yeah!” and the sounds of the party spilled into the room and broke our little bubble. I didn’t look up; I couldn’t. “Close the fucking door!” he shouted. After a moment it shut. I smiled at him and then put my mouth on his soiled penis. Our mingled juices came off on my tongue. I had tasted a guy’s come twice before and found it strange. I didn’t hate it, it didn’t gross me out, but it didn’t exactly taste good, either. Mixed with the bitter taste of my cunt juice, though, it tasted fine indeed. I put one finger in my pussy and brought it up to my mouth, heavy with come. I licked it. There was something amazing about the whole thing. His dick was clean, getting soft, and he was starting to look anxious. I let him go and pulled my pants back on while he straightened himself out. “Thanks,” he said. He went to the door, waiting only to see that I got my shirt back on properly before he opened it. “No problem,” I said, and he left. I walked out of the party and just walked around the neighborhood dazed, almost drugged, just thinking and not thinking. I realized I should be worried about disease, about my reputation, or something, but I wasn’t. It was the first time a guy had ever come in me; I was on the pill, but it was just something I got with my friend one time, as an extra precaution, and I had never thought about it. But I really like the feeling, walking after with the slickness inside me, slowly running out. I walked home and went into the bathroom. My panties were soaked with come and my pussy was still swollen with excitement. I masturbated in the bath and licked the come off my fingers, the radio playing to cover my moans from my roommate. Now, there were a few times after this when I went to a party and ended up having sex with somebody there, but I didn’t start going to parties with the express intention of getting laid until after college and I was working at a publishing company in the city. I had a few relationships with guys, but none seemed to last very long. One of my boyfriends, a guy I let move in with me for a while, who I even thought about marrying, told me when he left that there was nothing there for him to relate to. He said I was empty inside. I didn’t believe him, because I am here and he was just blind to it. But I did feel like I was kind of apart from everyone else, just a little sideways from the reality that everyone was so engaged in. I was really lonely. I went to a party in town at the convention center of a big hotel, a promotion by my company. It was fancy dress with lots of wine and a band, but none of the people I knew were going and I was all alone. I decided I would just go and get drunk and get laid. I dressed in a hot red one-piece with black stockings and high heels, which I normally loathe. I took one look at myself in the mirror before I went in and I thought, “slut.” I picked my way in, got a drink and tried to look interesting, but nothing happened. There were some attractive men there, but they were all taken or else unapproachable. But I didn’t give up, I just started making a circuit of the ballroom and listening to people’s conversations. I figured that, like those other times, it would just happen; it didn’t matter with whom. And I met this guy, an author, a big barrel of a man with glasses and a great black beard. He talked to me for a while and was much nicer than he needed to be. I didn’t feel any chemistry between us until he took out a handkerchief and wiped at some crumbs that had gotten on my face. He touched me, and smiled; and I smiled at him, and it was there all of a sudden. I wanted him to fuck me, and then he wanted to fuck me. Before either of us could get uncomfortable about it, I said, “Come with me for a minute.” Slight pause: “Okay, sure.” There are a lot of places to fuck in these big hotels if you poke around some, and we found a darkened room with stacks of chairs and folded up tables. He pushed me in, then pulled me close and we kissed. His beard was warm and I liked the way it nestled our lips. I told him and he laughed. “You like that? Well, come on then.” His hands were large and thick; they cupped my tits and ass in great massaging handfuls. I slid my hands over his back and shoulders, over his chest and belly and down to his trousers. I unbuckled his belt and let down his pants to rub his cock through his silk boxers. It stiffened gradually and came out to be stout and hard: not so long, but thick. I sank to my knees and pulled out his penis. I kissed around the head and up and down the shaft, licking and getting it juicy. When I put it in my mouth he groaned with almost a purr, something I’ve never heard anyone else do quite like that. Because he wasn’t so long I could get most of him in my mouth without gagging, and I really worked him over with long sucking strokes and short bobbing. He started hunching a little, trying to fuck my face, and I was getting very wet. I took my mouth off and said, “Let’s try the main course.” He pulled up my dress and pulled down my underwear to reveal my garter-framed pussy, ready to go. I was actually a little taller than he which made it very easy for him to access me while standing. He pushed me back against the wall, held up my left leg and entered me. He grunted and thrust, and after we got a rhythm going we fit together very nicely. Endurance he had, and I came twice, small ones close together, with a third on the way when he said, “I’m getting close.” “Come inside me, just don’t stop!” I managed. “You sure?” “Yes, do it!” The man flattened me against the wall with a sudden furious barrage of thrusts, grunting and cursing, sweat pouring off him as his warmth blossomed in me. I felt the heat of it and the surge shoot up against my cervix and that pushed me over the edge. I shouted out, then bit it off and jerked and squeezed at his cock. His breath hissed in his mouth as he finished with a series of short, stiff thrusts as he came down from his orgasm. He held onto me panting, his face in my bosom. My climax faded slowly and left me feeling like my legs were loose springs. After a long moment he pulled out and wiped himself off with his handkerchief. He found his clothes and put them on. I took a gob of his sperm from my pussy with my middle finger and put it in my mouth. It melted there leaving a slight metallic aftertaste. I put my underwear back on. “Thanks for making it an interesting party,” he said. “Thank you. I needed that.” “Me, too.” He went back to the party, leaving me there. I stood in the room for a few minutes, and then I cried a little and went home. I don’t know why I cried; not because of him, but maybe the sex just opened up some doors and let some stuff come out. Now it sounds like this was some kind of therapy for me, and maybe it was, but it didn’t always go so well. Sometimes it was awful, or even scary. I kept telling myself to stop it, to be careful; I thought I was being careful at the time, but I can see now how stupid I was. I went to parties at least once a week, and usually I found someone for a quick fuck, and I never once used protection beyond the pill. I did it with a lot of guys and a few girls. One guy tried to make me fuck his dog. After so much it is truly a miracle that I didn’t catch anything worse than a case of crabs (which itch like hell, let me tell you). I never learned the names of eighty percent of these people, and I never gave my real name (and I’m not going to start now). When it was good, like with the first few, it was mind-blowing, intense and even beautiful, something about how we came together out of chance and luck into a perfect experience. One time I went to a party at some rich guy’s house, a real mansion out of town, like a movie set or something. There was nice music and good food, and everyone was nice; I thought I could find someone good this time. As usual I drifted slowly around, listening, testing the waters, checking to see if anyone was going to draw me in. It happened that there was someone that I knew at the party, one of my bosses. That was the one thing that scared me: the possibility that someone would find out about what I was doing. And though I hadn’t done anything up to that point, I saw him from across the room and my heart leapt into my throat. I ducked out of sight and then spied to see if he had noticed me. It appeared that I was in luck. He chatted and laughed and quaffed his wine. I never liked him, and now I was pissed off that he had ruined everything. Stalking through the house I thought about leaving, but then suddenly I saw him coming towards me down the hall. He was talking with some woman, laughing and holding her arm suggestively, and he hadn’t seen me yet, so I ducked into a room and closed the door behind me. The room was a guest bedroom and it was occupied. A woman in a black dress was on the bed on all fours. A man was mounting her and holding her breasts from behind. The man looked up briefly upon my entrance, but he didn’t stop their congress. “Someone’s come to watch,” he told her. “Tell them we’re busy,” she said through her pleasure. “Maybe they want to join us. Well, do you?” He stared at me intently, a wry smile beneath his thin moustache. I didn’t answer but I went over to the bed and sat beside them. The woman was very beautiful with long blonde hair tastefully done and expertly applied make-up. Her eyes were closed; she tilted and rotated hips gently to meet her man’s thrusts, hissing and moaning softly. Her dress came up the front, and looped up around her neck, leaving her back bare; he had pulled her large breasts out the sides and they swayed with each stroke. He pinched and twisted her nipples with alternate tenderness and ferocity. “Do they?” she gasped. I brushed the side of her face with one hand and took over one of her tits with the other, cupping it firmly. “So they do. What do they look like?” “It’s a girl.” “Is she pretty?” “Not bad. You’ll like her, my sweet.” He nodded to me, indicating that it was time to get in or get out. I leaned over and kissed her on the lips. Her moans echoed in my mouth as our tongues entwined together. He reached over and unzipped my dress and I slid out of it and down under her to suck on her tits. With my dress off I was naked except for my garters and stockings and panties. I licked and sucked her nipples one at a time for a few minutes; when I nibbled and bit and she yelped. She started going wild and he matched his pace to hers as she climaxed. She collapsed next to me as she recovered, leaving me with his erect dick, sticky from her pussy. It was a fine thing so I rolled over and took it in my mouth, beginning with long strokes to the back of my throat. She undid her own dress and got naked, and then started feeling my legs and ass; she peeled off my thong, which I always wore over my stockings for easy access. She rubbed my tummy, my ass, between my cheeks and through my bush. Her fingers played over my pussy lips, spreading them open and testing inside. Her tongue began on my asshole, her fingers on my clit: short and exciting movements that inflamed me. I forgot about everything else. I had a small orgasm when she stuck her finger in my virgin ass. “Oh, she’s a tender one down here,” commented the woman, “let me loosen her up for you.” We switched to a sixty-nine position with me on top. She licked at my cunt while working my ass with two and then three fingers. It felt so weird and good that I kept having these little pop orgasms, small rushes of ecstacy that went through me like firecrackers. While she did this, he was fucking my face and her pussy, alternating between the two with every few strokes. He stopped in my mouth for a while and grabbed my nipples. He gave me a cruel pinch that came just when another shiver of ecstacy hit, making me groan and gurgle around the dick in my mouth. “How’s she doing back there?” “Oh, she’s ready for a ride. Aren’t you, dear?” She gave my clit a lick. I nodded with a dick-muffled moan. He pulled out of my throat and went around behind me. “Is this your first time to take the back door?” “Yes,” I whispered. “See, darling,” she gloated, “I told you it was going to be a good party.” He put his cock in my pussy, wet and swollen and pumped it two or three times; I cried out and fell on her. When I regained my position, he pulled out, freshly lubed and then fixed himself at my asshole. He pushed in slowly but inexorably, leaving me gasping. Sweat broke out all over my body as inch after inch of him penetrated my passage. It didn’t hurt, per se, but it was intense beyond anything else. After what felt like an hour, he was in me to the hilt. My anus was so sensitive that I could feel every little movement, every pulse of blood in his cock. Somebody opened the door to the room at that moment; I heard a woman’s voice gasp, and then a quickly mumbled apology. The door closed again after a minute of unknown people staring at us. My sweaty hair was in my face; no one could have recognized me; I wouldn’t have cared if they had, at that point. I was too intent on what was to come. “Suck my cunt,” the woman commanded beneath me. I put my head down at once and obeyed. Her tongue went to work on my clit again and she dipped her fingers in my hole with one hand and caressed her lover’s balls with the other. He just waited, enjoying the contractions of my butt for a moment, and then he began to move. My voice came out of its own volition, at first in cries and moans, and then in grunts and hisses. My first orgasm took a long time, because the sensation of it was so different from any other fucking I’d done, but it was deep and intense, a rumbler that shook through me for a long time. After that they came more quickly, two, then five, then eight. I don’t know how long it went on, but it was a long time. I licked more pussy that night than I had all the rest of my life put together. Every time I would stop he would say, “Lick that cunt!” My tongue was sore and stiff, but he would smack my ass and twist my nipples every time I hesitated. She came a couple of times, but I couldn’t pay much attention to it from the pounding I received. It felt so good, and yet awful at the same time. At last he said, “I’m going to do it.” “Do it,” she hissed, coming herself, “come inside her!” I didn’t feel anything at all when he did, just his frantic pumping along with high-pitched yelping and whines. And then he was finished and pulled out. She crawled out from under me and sucked him clean. I lay there exhausted for a long minute, certain that a million years had gone by. I felt her lips clench around my butt and her tongue squirm into me. I was so loose back there that she had no trouble. After a minute of this she came up to my face and pressed her mouth against mine: she spit a warm trail of come sucked from my ass into my mouth and waited until I swallowed it. She went back to sucking her lover then. I lay on my back listening to her slurping and then decided to get out of there. When I got up and struggled with my dress, he was kind enough to zip it up for me, but beyond that he paid me no mind. I noticed that the woman’s eyes were still closed. Perhaps she was blind. I left and went to the bathroom right away. I passed some incredible gas, a buttload of sperm and a little shit. When I left the party it wasn’t as late as I had feared. The whole thing had been about three hours. After that I really hated myself. My butt hurt for days and every time I looked in the mirror I felt like crying. What was wrong with me that I kept looking for such people? Why couldn’t I connect with other people beyond these assignations? It wasn’t getting fucked up the ass or felched, but it was just the empty, dirtiness of it. Those people didn’t care about me at all. I was a dirty, ugly, empty shell. I even thought about killing myself, for all the good that would do. I swore it off for a long time after that; I didn’t trust myself to go to a bar or out anywhere, because I knew I would just hook up with the first person who looked at me. But of course I did do it again. A guy in the back of a restaurant, this business man on his lunch break came in me and gave me his card. I threw it away without looking at it. I went down on a guy at the park and there was this girl at a dance club whose ass just called to me from across the room. I licked it out the way the woman at the mansion had done to me, and I smiled when she came on my tongue. That was why it was fun: I liked to give pleasure to these strangers. I felt like I could see through them to their deepest hearts in those moments, make a real connection, however short it lasted. And once I started again I didn’t stop until the last time. The Last Time. Well. It was a party for the friend of a woman in my office that I was casually invited to along with a few other people. I went to it, promising myself that I would just go and say hello for an hour and then go find a fuck somewhere else. My one rule was never to do it where someone I know could find out. But when I got there, my co-worker was just leaving: there was a ton of other people there, all young, well-to-do types being intellectual, or pretending to. No one noticed me, certainly not my co-worker who left with her boyfriend before I could even say hi to her. I laughed to myself and settled on the couch with a glass of wine and some chips. There were a few people who said hi, and I tried to be friendly, but as usual it never went anywhere. When I got up for a refill, I met this guy named Joel. Clean-cut, average build, racquet ball every Thursday Joel with a smile and an engagement ring. “Hi,” he said, getting some chips himself. “Do I know you?” “I’m the friend of a friend, but she left and I don’t know anyone here.” “Geez, that’s kind of awkward. Well, hey, I’m Joel. Now you know someone.” He brushed some crumbs off his fingers and shook my hand. “Are you here with your fiance?” I asked. “What? Oh, the ring, no. She’s visiting her family in Vancouver, so I’m on my own.” Our conversation went in fits and starts, but it was pleasant enough. He introduced me to his friends there, a circle of gentlemen in the corner discussing an obscure comparison between politics and sports. After I slunk quietly away from them, Joel found me again and made small talk. I swore to myself that I would keep my promise, but as I did I knew I was going to break it. I was going to fuck Joel, suck his cock and drink the semen from his body. His sperm was going to be in my belly tonight through one hole or another. Once I made that decision things went easier. I felt how attracted he was to me, how he went out of his way to brush my arm, or to pick at some lint on my shoulder. I took a chip and when I reached for some dip I brushed my tit against his arm. He looked at me, trying to interpret the movement, so I let a smile tease my lips. “Are you teasing me?” “I would never do that.” “You know, you still haven’t told me your name.” “And what does it matter?” “Not much, I guess. Are you... working?” “Oh, no. Just looking for some fun.” “Fun? I could use some fun myself. What do you want to do?” I gave a quick glance towards the back of the apartment where there were no people. It was an ideal place for a quick fuck. For all that he was a nice guy, Joel looked like he was the type to pop in a hurry. He considered it, looking me over with a new kind of estimation and plain desire on his face. He smiled as he took my arm and led me back to the side bedroom, well away from the main traffic of the party. Once inside he closed the door. I gave him a kiss on the lips that he returned after a moment and grew deeper and impassioned. Holding him close I let my hands explore his back and shoulders, his chest. I moved his hands to my breasts, and he felt them gingerly, as if still considering if he really wanted to do this. Then he got into it and began to touch me all over. We lay back on the bed and he began to open my blouse one button at a time. My bra he unhooked with one hand and my tits he nuzzled and licked. I let myself relax under his touch. This was going to be a nice one, I thought; even if he did come fast, it would be a good one. I would be the receptacle for his premarital oats, so to speak. His hand moved under my skirt, along my thighs to the crotch of my moist panties. With one gentle finger he made me sigh as he traced the folds of my slit front to back. I felt his cock through his jeans, felt it grow hard and full at my touch. I unbuckled his belt and undid his pants, releasing his penis to my eager hands. My panties came off in his hand. My skirt lifted, he went down on my cunt, exploring, making a full circuit with his tongue and tasting my juices. Then he gently undid both of my stockings and slid them off my legs. He licked down my thighs, behind my knees and down to my toes. “Beautiful,” he said. “This is going to be sweet. Do you know how long it’s been since I had another woman? Two years. I had forgotten how nice it can be.” He nuzzled at my cunt some more, earning some sighs and squirms with his insistent tonguing. Then he said, “Hey, I have an idea. Try this.” And he held my stocking up to my face, smiling reassuringly, and blindfolded me with it. He was gentle, yet firm. “Have you ever tried this before?” “No, I haven’t.” “Well, trust me. It’s something else. Don’t worry, I won’t hurt you.” He held my arms up to the slatted head board and tied my wrists there with the other stocking. I tried to move my arms, but they were securely bound. I was both worried and excited. Immediately I felt his hands on my tits, tugging and rolling my nipples. His breath on my belly moved down back to my pussy. His tongue returned to work on me and with my eyes blindfolded and my hands bound it was a new kind of feeling, much sharper and more precise than usual. Startled, I moaned. His tongue worked my clit, over and around at a steady pace that he matched with his fingers. My initial panic began to fade as it felt better and better; before five minutes had passed, I was on my way, straining at the head board and grunting with pleasure. Like a swarm of bees in me, I came in a fluttering gale, grinding his face with my hips and gasping so hard I thought I would hyperventilate. I lay there, not noticing when his hands vanished for a long moment. When he came back, I heard him take off his pants and climb on the bed between my legs. His stiffness poked at me sharply and then found the right place and slid in up to the hilt in one smooth glide. “Joel?” I said. “I’m right here, baby.” “Come inside me. It’s okay, so please do it for me. Okay?” “Okay, baby, if that’s what you want.” Then he started to pump. His dick was a healthy average, a nice fit that seemed to go straight to my cervix. I felt that hollow space awakening in me, the hunger of my womb. Joel took long strokes, almost pulling out at the end and then slamming back in to his balls. He went on and on, until I had a small climax, and then he stiffened and grabbed me around the waist and shivered as he came inside me. I felt his warm come rush against my cervix and I sighed with a strange kind of relief. This was what I wanted. “I’ll suck you clean,” I said after a contented moment. He pulled out, stood on the bed and put his cock to my lips. I sucked and licked him until all our spendings were gone. Then he stepped off the bed for a second. “Wait a minute, baby,” he said, “I want to go again.” He came back up on the bed and stuck his dick in me again. He seemed really excited this time and he lost no time with a jack-hammer attack that went on full force for several minutes. I came and then he was pumping me full with a second load. When he finished, he stood right up and put his dick to my lips. I was cleaning him off a second time when suddenly another pair of hands took hold of my legs. Someone else was there; they got in position and entered me and I knew what had happened. I started to struggle, but my hands were tightly bound. Joel’s voice whispered in my ear. “You wanted to have fun, so let’s have fun. Don’t make a fuss and you won’t get hurt.” I stopped struggling; I thought of biting the dick in my mouth, but I knew it wouldn’t make any difference. A part of me was shrieking inside, and another was trembling with excitement. In a way, I thought, this was what I was looking for, wasn’t it? Just a pure experience, uncomplicated by judgement or morality. I could just have fun. So I did my best to enjoy it. I couldn’t see any faces, and no one else spoke except for some grunts and the typical moans of guys coming. I didn’t try to count, but I met each one and tried to make it last. And as the fourth guy was finishing in me I started to feel it again. I squeezed at their cocks, trying to massage and milk them; I used my hips and legs to compliment their movements. They each spurted in my cunt and then came up to get licked off while the next guy took his turn. Each cock was really different, curved in different ways with different bumps and ridges. Some ground against my g-spot, others went to my cervix and womb. I came over and over. Sweat drenched me, and semen did, too. The sheets and mattress were soaked, my ass and thighs were caked, and my mouth and chin were drizzled with it. I think some guys went more than once, because there were so many of them, it seemed, way more than had been at the party. I wondered if there was a line out the door, if someone had put up a sign and was pulling in guys off the street. I had heard of women taking like two hundred guys in a row and had images of being tied to this bed for days. And after awhile, I stopped coming, because I was too tired and my pussy was going numb. There was so much come that it coated everything and reduced the friction so I couldn’t feel much. Guys started going straight to my mouth, and another guy put it in my ass, but even that didn’t get me going any more. I just waited for it to be over. With my eyes blindfolded my sense of time was distorted. Who knows how long it was. The guy in my ass finished and then hands untied the blindfold. The lights were on and I had to squint and blink before I could see anything. Joel was the guy in my butt. The room was full of men and standing around and staring at me. I didn’t look at their faces. Joel pulled his dick out and it was smeared with mucous and semen. He stood and put it in my mouth and I sucked it clean. Someone handed him a towel. He used it to wipe off my chin and then dropped it on my lap. He untied my hands. “Did you have fun?” I nodded very slightly. “Good. Now get dressed and get the fuck out of here.” My body wouldn’t move properly or fast. I fumbled with the towel and slid to the side of the bed. I slid on my stockings and managed to clip them on. My panties were thrust in my face and I got them on. Very slowly I adjusted my bra and closed my blouse. The front of my skirt was drenched with semen. I reeked of it. I stood and somehow managed to keep my balance. All the men watched this process wordlessly. Looking in the mirror, I looked awful; I didn’t recognize myself at all. I didn’t have a bag or a purse ? I never carried them on my excursions ? so I just shuffled to the hall. More men stood outside. They made way for me until I made it to the kitchen and living room where all the women were waiting. The anger in the room was palpable. They stared at me with malice and rage. As I shuffled past them, they started shouting taunts: “Whore!” “Cunt!” “Bitch!” Someone slapped me. Another threw her drink in my face. The alcohol stung my eyes, but I didn’t stop. I could see the door in front of me and I just focused on it and let everything pass over me. I am empty, I said to myself. I am a shadow; I’m not real. I made it outside. No one followed me. I walked slowly to where I parked my car and fished the key out of its pocket in my shoe. When I made it home I went straight to the bathroom and stepped into the shower, clothes and all. I didn’t cry, but when I got out I threw my soiled clothes away. I brushed my teeth three times and gargled over and over, and then I went to bed. I woke up at five after smothering dreams. By seven, though, I was ready for work; it was actually a good day, because I didn’t think or feel anything, so none of the usual annoyances touched me. No one whispered behind my back or cast me sideways glances; no one knew. I was safe. I got an AIDS test and came out negative. There were no signs of other diseases, either. A miracle. Just to check I went to another clinic and tested again with the same result. I did cry then, because I had been certain that I was dead. All this time, with all those people, and no protection at all, and I had nothing. It didn’t seem fair. And it was a fucking miracle. I went about my daily life, but at night, I stayed home. Or I went to a movie. I read three books. I even got a library card, my first one since I was seventeen. This time I didn’t hate myself. I didn’t need to promise not to do it again, because there was no way that I ever would. I could stay celibate the rest of my life, and be happy. I found out I was pregnant about a month and a half after the Last Time. I just laughed at that one. The pill is not, after all, one hundred percent effective. And I found that I was really happy. Here I had been empty all this time, and now I was full. My family was angry when I wouldn’t tell them who the father was; I just told them that he and I had agreed that it would be our secret. My son was born last year. He has a serious face and deep brown eyes. I sometimes wonder which of those men gave him to me. I would thank them and shake their hand if I knew. Through him I feel that I can finally begin to understand myself and connect to other people through more than just sex. Watching him see things for the first, I get to rediscover the world again, too. It’s easy to forget just how much there is to be thankful for. The End