Family Therapist - Chapter 11 (Fm, some Inc) WARNING: Adults only. This material is not suitable for minors. ------- Chapter 11 Linda caught her breath. Pornography. That was the only word she heard. Pornography. "Linda," Martha interrupted her thoughts, "Are you ok?" she paused... seeing Linda flush... unsure of what was going on. "Linda, it is very prevalent now..." she said gently... "and very easy to find on the internet now... very easy... but you know that, right?" she nodded softly, letting her digest the discussion. She had seen what was on his computer... and it wasn't just pornography... she realized why Martha had asked her to come... alone. His father would be... furious... ------- "Lasagna is in the oven, OK?" she shouted down the stairs, leaning out of their bedroom door so that MAYBE her husband could hear her this time. Typical. Her son had hidden himself away in his bedroom after she had picked him up from middle school, playing his games on the phone they had gotten him for his birthday. She had kissed her husband when he arrived home, gone out to the bike trail near their house to take her afternoon walk/jog, gotten all sweaty in the white baseball cap, yoga pants, and tight exercise top she always wore... She knew she was a little wider down below than she wanted to be... her thighs a little thicker despite the regular walks... knew she had just a little bit of a roll around the middle that she could hide under most outfits... sigh. No matter how hard she worked at it, it laughed at her. She stepped into the shower. She had learned to compartmentalize things. Sort of. She had to. And she did it now. The thrill of what she was about to do... a night out with the girls? Her husband was happy that she had her friends to hang out with from time to time, and Gayle let him think tonight was just another night. Too much wine usually led to her staying over at her friend's afterward. It was playfully assumed by both of them that she would spend the night. He would handle the kids. Dinner. It was Friday - no homework. No arguing with them to go to bed. SHE had the night off. She dressed carefully, taking her time. She liked to look... conservative. No - not quite that - formal a little maybe. Well put together? She checked her makeup in the mirror, smoothed her styled hair that was lightly spritzed with hairspray, slipped in her earrings. Smiled. She looked good for a woman her age. The blazers and jackets she liked to wear helped hide her softness. Skirt and a jacket. Or jeans and a jacket. She thought about what she had packed earlier that day... stashed away in the trunk of her car... and the tingle glowed between her legs. Again. This time stronger, a light throb. She took a deep breath... gathered herself. "OK, I'm headed out," she smiled softly as she rounded banister at the bottom of the stairs, trying to be calm, flats clicking lightly on the hardwood as she entered the open floor plan kitchen and living room. "Come here..." she held out her arms, leaning down and hugging their daughter who ran to embrace her, giggling as usual. A pang of guilt surfaced momentarily... "Have fun!" her husband turned from the counter and cutting board, kissing her on the cheek as she slipped by in the narrow kitchen... twisting away from him as he laughed, reaching out to grab her with his wet hands. "Tell that friend of yours to behave herself!" he teased her. "And NO drinking and driving!" he added quickly as she stepped through the door from the kitchen into the garage. "I know, I know..." she sang back, her voice trailing off as she walked out to her car in the driveway. And stopped. If he ever found out... oh god... a lump in her throat all of a sudden... if they... if they ever... she paused. Maybe I should... Her fingers pulled up on the door handle. The car door popped open. She lifted a leg, her skirt riding up slightly... and got in. She couldn't stop herself. The impulse between her legs urged her to go... overwhelmed the momentary indecision... images of what she was going to... to do... she backed out of the driveway... and pulled away. ------- "Linda, I would like you to..." she hesitated... this was delicate... "would you be willing to come to an appointment... with your son?" she asked gently, her voice soft and reassuring. "I don't... why?" Linda asked after a moment... how could she face her son... especially here... and talk about... about what she had... seen? "Linda... it is important for him to see you... his mother... as the caring... loving person you are..." she paused, letting the quiet of the room wash over them... "that you are his mother..." she whispered... "not..." she paused... "what he sees... on there..." she motioned with her head toward the monitor on her desk... Linda looked away... out the window... and nodded.