Note: This story was dynamically reformatted for online reading convenience.
 
 Hello FTPers.

   I haven't got around to placing the ascii text versions here yet.  All
the good (hah!) stuff is on the web and you should point your browser at
/~Finbar_Saunders

   to have a look.



   Usual, bloody stupid legal-type warnings to all those unwelcome people
who would obviously, really, no honestly..  Just click right back out of
here because they'd managed to drill this far through the web by complete
accident (sure they did).

   These stories, for that is just what they are, are fictional pieces from
my head and nowhere else.  They contain words which rhyme with 'luck' and
'punt' and there's also descriptions of the sort of actions which
apparently cure acne in young men and give girls a 'bad' reputation.

   Oh, and by the way, I really like seeing naked ladies and looking at
their naughty bits.

   Some of you are too young to read this stuff; or, worse still, live
under a totalitarian regime which prohibits this sort of information to be
disseminated.  If you don't believe you should read these sorts of things,
then hit the POWER button on your computer (never use the BACK button, it's
for wimps).

   All characters, situations, and locations are mostly fictional.  Any
similarity with any person, living, dead or undead, is coincidental or
really good luck on my part.

   Not to be archived, reposted, nor redistributed by any means...  unless
expressly permitted by the author, in writing and accompanied by great gobs
of money, paid to the author by the archivist or the poster or the
redistributor..

   (well, it was worth a try surely).

   Actually, if you really want to post it anywhere, then go ahead, just
ensure you don't change anything; and make sure you credit me with its
authorship.

   If you should rip off this stuff and pretend it's your own, I'll hunt
you down like the dog you are and wrest it from your rotting corpse.  If
you are careless enough to let a minor read this sort of thing with intent
to corrupt, or worse still, think that this stuff is OK to try out on kids
then you don't deserve to be of this world, and should expect someone in a
hooded black cape to turn up on your doorstep and split your nostrils open
with a boat hook.

   For all the rest of us pervy bastards, read on with as much pleasure as
you can manage, be gentle with me -- I am new to this lark.  Spellings are
British and grammar is schoolboy, so just don't bother getting annoyed.

   Your best mate: Finbar Saunders, MHaHStADT@hotmail.com

   Oh OK, I know it's a character from VIZ (but I like it!)