As a kid I was always really tall for my age. I was also just smart enough to sound like someone older than I was. I usually ran with kids who were several years older than I was and I thought I was so cool because I could. When I was 10 years old I had size 10 shoes and, by the time I was 12, I was right at 6' tall.<br> <br> I grew up in an upper middle class suburb where most of the kids were white and the ones that weren't pretty much acted like the rest of us anyway. I didn't see color or race really... Differences were mostly social and as far as I was concerned I was just about at the top of the food chain in school. I started running around with older teens who looked more like me. I thrived on it. We all thought we were some kind of badasses and eventually we ended up in trouble.<br> <br> I got arrested over it and they took me to the juvenile detention facility downtown. I had no idea what I was in for. Going through the intake process was one of the most demeaning experiences of my life and then, ironically, because I was so much bigger than the kids my age they put me on the top floor with the oldest teens. Most of them had been in trouble before. <br> <br> Walking down that hallway I couldn't hear myself think because the guys in their cells were banging on the doors and the sound was deafening. They put me in an empty cell and gave me a mattress, sheets, and a blanket. Besides the metal bed, the only other things in there were a scratched up piece of metal that was supposed to be a mirror and a metal toilet with a sink attached to it. <br> <br> Eventually I was let out and led to a cramped day room further down the hallway. It was fairly calm and there was a gaurd in the corner but I still remember feeling my stomach drop anyway as I looked around. I was the only white person in the room and, as big and bad as I thought I was, a lot of those kids were bigger. I felt eyes on me as I sat down at one of the tables. I looked around and didn't see a friendly look anywhere. I did see lots of tattoos (some of them had them on their faces!) and some of them obviously spent a lot of time working out in their cells because they were way more built than I was. <br> <br> The TV stayed on. There was a domino game at one of the tables and a checker set at another. Nobody said anything to me but I still could feel their eyes on me. Sizing me up. Waiting for an opportunity I figured. Dinner came on plastic trays and we ate in the day room. Nobody tried to talk to me and nobody did anything like try to take my food. I guess they preferred the day room over being confined to the cell. I figured that's where they kept the real bad actors anyway. Still, I had a feeling like something was up and I wasn't going to let my gaurd down for a second.<br> <br> After the dinner trays were collected they took us all back to our cells and said it was shower time. I got a pair of flip flops, a towel, a tiny bar of soap, and a fresh uniform roughly my size. The gaurd was opening doors and sending them in four at a time. They'd get about 20 minutes to undress, shower, dry off, and get dressed. The gaurd didn't watch. He just stood by the door and looked at his watch now and then yelling out the time left. (I later learned it was illegal to watch us shower.) Finally, it was my turn. I was with the last group so it was just me and the two guys from the cell accross the hall. I walked into the shower room and it was divided into two parts. Two benches with low walls and two showers like you see in locker rooms. I kept my head down and got undressed. I covered my dick and stepped into one of the shower stalls and turned the water on. I took the spigot furthest from the bench so my back was against the wall. I figured I'd haul ass and get out of there as fast as I could and maybe, just maybe, nobody was going to fuck with me....<br> <br> Then they came around the low wall and got in the same shower I was in. They turned on the water and I tried to avoid looking like I was looking around but I was. I was afraid. Adrenaline poured into my system. My heart was pounding and I think I was shaking a little but I was also ready for a fight. They were both tall. One of them had a really dark skin tone and these huge arms and chest. I hadn't ever seen anyone that big up close like that before. Especially not naked.<br> <br> Pause. You have to understand that I may have been 6' tall and sure I acted like I was older but I was still a 12 year old in a shower with some very grown up looking people. I was keenly aware of the fact that they might try to jump me and do something to me. I also knew if I yelled for help I'd probably end up even worse off for it. <br> <br> My sexual experience up to this point was limited. I knew I liked girls. I'd done lots of heavy petting, gotten a couple of hand jobs, and a girl went down on me for all of 2 seconds before she freaked and wanted to stop. That was about it. Trying something with a guy hadn't ever crossed my mind and it wasn't ever talked about by any of my friends. I mean I knew what being gay really meant but (as far as I was concerned) a fag was a guy who cried when you hit him.<br> <br> Unpause. I'm standing under the hot water still covering my crotch with one hand while I tried to scrub with the other. I take a breath. I reposition and move my head just enough so I can just see the slimmer guy. He's standing to the right of me and I can just see him at the edge of my vision. I risk a quick glance. He's looking away and seems to be minding his own business but he's not bothering to cover himself up. Another breath. I reposition again and glance left at the bigger guy. He doesn't see it and he isn't looking at me either. Another breath. I start to calm down a little. I've had a particularly shitty day and my nerves are beyond shot at this point. I think that maybe if I stay quiet and keep my gaurd up I'll make it out of here ok.<br> <br> Another breath. I try to look to the left again without being obvious about it so I can look at his build again. I can't help but admire it. I want to look like that one day. I start to wash the soap off and think about my future. Another breath. Another quick look right. All good. Another breath and when I look left I lock eyes with him. Immediately I break eye contact but I look at him again and he's still looking at me. He sizes me up and turns towards me.<br> <br> Another breath. I have never felt more naked or more vulnerable in my entire life. I'm afraid. I look down trying to break eye contact and see that he's got his hand on his dick. He's stroking it and it's growing. I stare in shock and start to panic. I back up against the shower walk. He doesn't move towards me but he keeps stroking. I've never seen a hard cock in real life besides my own. It's huge. I see his muscles moving under his skin while he jacks himself off. <br> <br> Another breath. I know if he comes at me I'm not going to be able to fight him off without some kind of miracle. For the first time since I was a toddler I feel truly helpless. I feel a little sick. He's looking at me the same way I look at a girl or a particularly good cut of steak... hungry. I don't want this but something on me gives and I lower the hand covering my crotch. I'm not hard. I stand there reeling and I let him look at me.<br> I'm so vulnerable and ashamed of what I find myself doing. I turn sideways so he can see some of my ass. He's got to be 16 or 17. He looks like he's in his 20's. I don't look like it but I'm 12... he doesn't know. But I do. I started puberty during the summer between 3rd and 4th grade. I was a predator... but standing naked in the shower in front of him. Watching him. Willingly giving him what he wants. My ego is stripped away. He looks at me like a girl. I arch my back some and clumsily try to arch my back for him.<br> <br> Another breath. The other guy is on the other side of the wall drying off. The gaurd calls 5 minutes. I don't know why I'm not hard. I'm not touching myself but I feel like I might cum anyway. I turn to face him again and rinse the last of the soap off me. He steps towards me and I freeze. He grabs me by the hair. I try to pull back out of reflex but he's much too strong and he pulls me back and makes me look down.<br> <br> Another breath. His huge dick looks hard as steel and there's a wet slapping sound as he pounds his fist. It's inches away from my stomach. I can feel the heat coming off him and he's breathing heavy Suddenly, I'm slipping. He's dragging me down by the hair and I land on my ass hard. The spell is broken. I start to try and get up to fight. He pulls my head back and I reach up grab his arm but then I realize that he's cumming.<br> <br> He looks down at me and I can feel the cum hitting my face. I'm not in the spray of one of the showers. Some of it drips off into my lap. We lock eyes and I stop struggling. I just let him finish. He quickly washes off and jumps the wall to dry off and get dressed. I stand up and wash it off me and move to dry off and get dressed.<br> <br> When I make it back to my cell I lay down and my mind is spinning. The lights dim, lights out I guess. I see it all happening again. And this time I am hard. I think about the way he made me feel and I get off on it twice and fall asleep. He went somewhere the next day. I never saw him again... but that experience changed my life forever. <br> <br> I still like girls but sometimes when I'm stressed out about life in general I still fantasize about it. I close my eyes and think about surrender and having the power and responsibility taken away from me. I think about being the prey instead of the predator. I feel that impulse sometimes. Maybe I'll do something about it one day.