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   I own the copyright of the story.

   I am legally entitled to enter this contest.

   This story has not been published prior to the contest.

   I will not permit this story to be published during the judging period.

   If the story is selected as a finalist, I will permit Calendar.atEROS to
publish the story in Calendar.atEROS through April 1st, 2003.

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publish the story in an ebook through October 31st, 2003.

   If the story is selected as a finalist, I will not permit the story to
be published outside of Calendar.atEROS prior to April 1st, 2003.

   Insanity By Dryad (copyright 2002)

   I'm going insane.

   The burning I feel in my gut, behind my eyes, in my groin...all crying
out for releases of different sorts.

   Scream therapy no longer works.  A beetle has crawled into my brain,
making me feel and do things that are not me.  A stranger has taken
residence in my body, forcing me, creating the ache I feel.  And it churns
and curls in me, wrapping around my fragile control, tightening and
squeezing it, as a python would it prey.  And I scream inside, scream for
the loss of me, wanting to get back to me...

   No longer in control no longer in control...

   Reaching out, grasping, crying for help.  Curl up fetal style, pulling
your arms tightly around me.  Make me forget, make me forget what I am
right now.

   Hand softly stroking my hair, and I feel my body tense, feel the anger
surge from no where, irrational, feelings not my own.

   Breathe in.  Breathe out.  Anger curls, swelling and receding, leaving a
miffed pressure behind my eyes, begging to be unleashed.  The poisoned
tears squeeze out, as my body shudders again.  My brain hurts.  My body
aches.  I'm so tired.  Tired of fighting the alien inside me.  The control
slips.  I hate myself.  Hate myself for the weakness.  Hate being a
stranger in my own skin.  I feel the creepy crawlies take residence under
my skin...nothing is comfortable.  I feel jittery, as though I was on a
caffeine high.  I can't seem to keep still, the neural synapses snapping,
begging for release.

   Sex.  I don't care how.  Hell, I don't care who.  Buy stock in
Energizer, but that ain't doing it anymore either.  Just fuck me.  Make me
forget I don't know myself.  Use that power in me, make it melt away.  Flip
me, bounce me on the bed.  Hell, invite your friends, fill me with cock
from all angles, drown me, drown me in sperm.  Override this monster in me,
use this anger, make me scream, make me curse and act like one possessed.
Make the tingle in my skin feel positive, rather than the wanderings of a
soon-to-be insane mind.

   No!  No, don't make love to me!  My feeble brain can't use it...I said
FUCK me.  Slam my body, slide me up against the wall roughly, take my body,
until my brain slows down, before exploding.

   But my body doesn't care.  I get a moment, perhaps two, of clear
thought, before my body begs to shut my mind down again, and I am crawling
over you, begging, threatening...fuck me, or someone else will.  I can see
you're tired, and it angers me further.  Some small part in the back of my
head tries to pull me back, but I don't care, all I care about is the storm
inside me, my orgasm much like the eye of a hurricane, and I'm thrown
about. I've lost all control, don't want it, don't need it.

   Feel myself falling, no longer aware, blissfully unaware.  I close my
eyes to the feeling, all that's left...no thought, no anger, no fear.  And
even in the midst, my body grows slack, relaxed, blessed with a mind
emptied of all thought, no longer desperate, jittery.

   Until the next time, which could be soon.  But for a few moments,
respite from the pressing insanity.