***************************************************************** ********************************************** Hi, this is Donna Z. As promised before the holidays, I have compiled some e-mails asking questions about situations in some of my stories. So, here goes with a "Dear Donna" column that will cover the few letters I have recieved. There are elements of F/F. F/f, f/f, oral, anal, ws, very mild scat, and the general gambit of activities. The story is mine, so don't steal it, and if you arn't old enough to read this story, then please don't. Enjoy. ***************************************************************** ********************************************** Dear Donna by Donna Z. UPDATED 1, To: Donna Z. This e-mail was from a man, I think, who had seen a site highly critical of lesbianism making wild claims about pedophilia. I have posted up some stories where girls occasionally got involved with older women for sexplay. Signed, A Friend. The answer: Dear friend, Younger/older encounters are relatively rare. There is a considerable difference between a 17 year old trying to get picked up by an older woman of her fancy, and pedophilia! Stories out here are generally just that, fictional stories written by men, for the entertainment of men. However, some of us actually are women writing for BOTH men and women too. Age grouping lines are quite strong in lesbianism, and attraction/crushes on older women often remain just that, attraction/crushes. But I would be evasive if I did not say that there are some of us who double dated with somewhat older couples, or became involved with an older girl. But, how old is old? Individually, you might have a fantasy about an older woman who might be say, 40. The odds of this fantasy becoming reality are extremely remote. Could it happen? Maybe. Would it happen on any given Saturday night? No. What usually happens, and it is fairly rare, is that the more "forward" of us plot to get picked up by a woman who might be a bit loaded and tired after a night at the club. In the so-called "lesbian community," this is considered very slutty for BOTH parties. It does happen though, and is more likely that the girl doing the pursuit is over 18 but not old enough to drink in the club. Double dates in a younger/older setting are also rare events, but are more planned. These sorts of encounters can be wildly exciting, highly sexualized, and very memorable. But, these encounters are by and large completely agreed upon well in advance of "the date." But stories about 12 and 13 year old girls being scooped up by lesbians over 30 years old for who knows what all, is wildly fanciful, highly unlikely improbability. I didn't say impossibility, I said improbability. I tend to avoid making sweeping judgements involving people, because in people there are no absolutes but only exception upon exception. So, for the 1st e-mail, I have to say pedophilia is highly unlikely in lesbianism, pursuit of an older woman by a younger girl is known but rarely beyond the crush stage. So, be careful about loud claims from antilesbian sites. They are selling a viewpoint, and do not hesitate to sell that idea at the expense of women. 2, Dear Donna, This e-mail asked about the popular male fantasy of oral/anal play between girls. The answer: Oral/anal has long been a popular fantasy among men when thinking about lesbians. However, oral/anal is also popular among lesbians. The occurance of oral/anal varies widely from couple to couple. Many of my friends, and myself included had no qualms at all about oral/anal, and for some of us it was a common and regular thing. For others, it wasn't done, or done so rarely that you could say that "they didn't do that." None of us who were "buttnuts, were interested in dirt or poo, though a great many of us did watch or were watched by our partners as we expelled our poop. It was a rare thing indeed to hear about poo play, and I know of only one girl who became involved in such nastiness. 3, Dear Donna, This email was from Tom, who had a poo play fantasy and asked about lesbian desires in this area. Dear Tom, Poo play is extremly rare. I visited your link provided to a site in Europe and would reply that you ought to see the Brazilian sites if you think that was something. I have yet to meet any woman who wanted to be a human toilet, and in the lesbian community this sort of nastiness would not be well recieved at all. As for "Licking the anus clean," I think you have been reading too much De Sade. Could it happen? Maybe. Does it happen often? No. One of the limiting factors in why oral/anal is not a universal activity is the concern about poop! I am with On Our Backs in saying, "Get over it." But don't believe everything you see at so-called scat sites....consider the e-coli infection issue, to say nothing of amebiasis, and hepatitis A. Sometimes, what looks bizarre is scarcely more than peanut butter, corn, chocolate and some pectin for thickening. Remember that before thinking women who love other women have suspended their senses of smell in favor of crazy lust, that maybe, just maybe poo play is more male in thought than female! 4, Dear Donna, Bill sent me a note asking about urolagnia vs, my idea of pee play. Dear Bill, Pee play is fairly common, but not urolagnia! Pee play is like being in the shower with your lover and letting her pee on your leg or foot, or maybe having her pee on you as you lay on your back in the shower. Many girls around here at least tried this, and quite a few liked the warm and wierd sensations of this. Urolagnia, or drinking pee is like poo play, extremly rare! Many men like to spray their wives in the showers, though not all women like that. In lesbianism, pee play is generally agreed upon in advance, and after a period of time together, though not always. 5, Dear Donna, This email was from an unsigned writer I suspect might be a woman. "do you consider lesbian love to be better than love between a man and a woman?" Dear Unsigned, I consider lesbian love to be excellent love, but in no way better love. By this I mean that both forms of love are excellent, but they are very different, and mean different things. As I confess to having very strong, sexually explicit feelings towards other women, I think the sense of lesbian yearning and happiness is both extraordinary, and wonderful. However, my husband isn't bad, at all. Which is better? How can I judge when I consider both to be quite good, rewarding, and gratifying? However, do I consider lesbian sexplay to be better than straight sex play? The answer is an unequivocal yes. However, all the orgasms, and wild sexplay in the world does not give me the inner happiness that my family and children bring me. Hope this explaines things well enough. 6, Dear Donna, this one was from a man, I think, wondering about lesbians in sport and was I turned on by certain sports figures? Dear Sportsman, The answer is a resounding yes. I watched the women's beach volleyball olympics and confess to being quite turned on by a number of the atheletes in that sport. The swimming events and diving events are my favorites, and one Canadian woman was really hot by my standards. Fantasies are a good thing, even for women who really like other women. There is a photo at "Out Sports" showing a pair of female beach volleyball players, and the one in the red thong bikini is breathtaking by my standards! 7, Dear Donna, This one was from a person concerned about my long term relationship with a black woman. Dear Republican?, I had the good fortune to have a relationship with an exceptionally attractive, physically fit, and honor roll smart black young woman, and I am not sorry about it one bit. We had a solid relationship for many years, tried almost everything that two women could possibly try with the exception of gross poo play and urolagnia. It was a solid, mutually rewarding relationship that I still feel strongly about to this day. We are still very close friends, and if we get together, we at least kid around about doing it, though we both have come very close to trying it again, we have not due to problems with nosy children, jealous husbands and the like. If you find a woman that would love you, would you be put off because she is of African heritage? If so, you need to reexamine your priorities. Now, is their racism in the lesbian community? You betcha' there is! However, did we have any trouble about our relationship from other lesbians regardless of their feelings about race? No, we didn't. Mainly because my lover was so disarmingly charming, and I was friendly too. No fight, NO BLAME. 8, Dear Donna, This email was asking about my future writing plans and had I retired? Dear reader, I have been very busy and concerned about my work, and family and further, I was left stunned by the election. It has taken me some time to get over this. Will I return? With this offering, consider me back in the writing mode. Thanks for asking. That is about the extent of my mail recieved. Though I have stopped posting my address, due to virus clowns and spammers, So, have a good day, and good love. PS, another short note wanted to know if I was going to write a "real" scat sex story, and frankly the idea grossed me out. However, I might try it. But, this would not be an easy thing for me, for I have a strong revulsion to most scat stories, beyond "watch and wipe" situations, mainly because I know scat sex is so utterly rare. ----------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------- Hi, Donna Z. here, remember, that lesbianism is good fun, fairly safe, warm and wonderful. Please don't make it dangerous or gross! Enjoy it, do it often, and rejoice in it, but don't abuse your partner. As usual, this story is copyright to Donna Z. Please don't steal it. More later, bye for now. *************** UPDATES! UPDATES! UPDATES! Hi, Donna Z here. Here are a few updates for this entry. Though, only a few. The few would not make for a full story submission, so why not update this story? So, on with the updates. 1, This letter, and it was a well-written one was from a woman in Michigan who asked about my "seemingly very wanton" homosexuality during my youth, and were my parents concerned, or did they know even? Dear Michigan Gal, Both of my parents were aware of my relationship with Shonda, and both thought it would be a passing fad situation. However, my mom really thought I was going to be completely lesbian in orientation. My father was not so sure. So, when I did marry a man and give them some grand-children to spoil, the talk about "Donna's problem" vanished quickly. My father was especially supportive of my early life choices and viewed my lesbian feelings as simply "part of the package." Mom on the other hand was less supportive, but at least tolerant. The advantages I seemed to have were my solid grades, lack of troublesome behavior in public, and personal ambition to "be somebody." I often wonder how things would have been between my parents and myself if I had remained exclusively lesbian. But, that is rather moot now. 2, This was a letter from a man, I think, about how I feel about lesbian and gay marriage. Dear man, I think civil unions for all long term relationships both hetero and homosexual should be a given right. Unions covering estate and property division matters are just plainly, on their face, decent, correct and publically useful. Tax sharing is also good. But, I'd stay away from the marriage label. Civil partnership is far more accurate a term to use, and far more useful for the public. Let it be a civil matter, and keep it out of church. That's how I see it. 3, This one was from a woman, I think, who asked about the sense of lesbian yearning and the gnawing feeling that this yearning causes, and do I feel such yearning and have that gnawing, right from the pit of your stomach, sense of wanting? Dear romantic, In a word, yes. there is scarcely a day that goes by that I don't have some sort of memory about the love and happiness I felt with Shonda and my friends. You do not get as close to another as I was with Shonda and not have strong feelings. You do not go through years in a relationship, being as passionate as we were without having strong feelings or intense memories, and you do not carry as strong a homosexual attraction for other women as I have without strong feelings. Do I feel I am denying my "true nature?" Yes, at times I do. Do I feel dishonest about my true feelings vs the seemingly straight, bourgeoise life I have now? At times, yes. I will always carry my lesbianism with me, right to the end I think. However, I have responsibilities now to others, and I will accept those responsibilities, however reluctantly. Do I miss my lesbian past? Yes. I do. Am I envious of my friends who stayed lesbian? At times, very much so. Do I dream about women in sexual situations? Yes, all the time, it's the only sort of sexy dream I have. Is my sex life with my husband good? Yes, fabulous in fact. We can rub bodies with the best of them, and play "Let's hide the dinkum" very well. I am lucky for having so understanding a man. I not only love him, I honestly like him too. Plus, I would be remiss if I didn't say he's quite understanding of my lesbian feelings and knows about my past. 4, This one is clearly from a man, who asked about whether or not I liked giving oral sex to my husband. Dear curious man, The answer is yes, I enjoy oral sex with my husband more than I enjoy humping. There are quite a few lesbians who gag at the thought of blowing a man, and would sooner choke than do so. However, there are a number of us that don't mind oral sex, if either the man has very mild tasting semen, or doesn't squirt in your mouth. Mine has mild, bland semen. He loves me to do it, and I don't mind. With screwing, I have vivid memories of Shonda, Joy and Moe the runner (Maryann) using a strap-on on me and I can tell you that Joy and Moe were really, really good at using the strap-on! Shonda and I had to do it from behind with each other. But Moe and Joy had fairly narrow pelvic structures and could do me in the "missionary" position and oh my goodness were they good at it. It sort of blows the aura with your husband if you are thinking about how great your girlfriends were at humping you with a strap-on while hubby is trying to do his thing down there with dinkums. Your mind sort of wanders. Hope this answers the questions. Well that's it for now. I hope to be back in writing form real soon, I have so much to catch up on! Remember, keep lesbian sex safe and fun. Do it as often as you can, revel in it, and enjoy it right to last orgasm before going to sleep from exaustion. Lesbian sex is our special gift, and though men will never understand it fully. Thank you God for letting me be a woman who can really love other women! UPDATES FOR LATE DECEMBER 2006. Special note. I wish to thank all of those who wrote to me following my loss. My husband was very special to me, and his untimely passing has left our household in utter turmoil. as some of my friends know, I have moved to the west coast with the children, and have a new partner, and frankly I think this is going to work out well. More later.