Tit Torture-Free Site
                          By Daphne Xu
                         Copyright 1998

"YOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!"  Something zapped my breasts!  I slammed 
forward and bounced backwards, nearly falling over.  I caught myself 
just in time, and glanced around furtively, hoping nobody noticed.  
Fortunately, only a couple people were in this computer cluster:  one 
busily typing away at his workstation, and the other asleep with his 
head on the keyboard.  It was eight in the morning; few people were 
still up this late.

As the pain in my breasts dissipated, I was able to breath normally 
again.  I nervously looked back at my workstation, wondering if I 
dared touch it.  What the heck had happened?  I had typed in a URL in 
Netscape, and was waiting for it to connect when it happened!  
Netscape was there waiting, displaying my webpage in all innocence as 
if nothing had happened.  I stood there, terrified to touch the 
workstation again.

Finally, I carefully reached around back and rebooted the 
workstation.  I logged into the one next to it, and composed an email 
to the system folk telling how the workstation had malfunctioned.  
Then I started up Netscape and tried to access the website again -- 
ZAP! 

Not again!  What the heck was going on?  Was it my imagination, or 
had I briefly seen electric current jumping from the screen to the 
nipples of my breasts?  They were sticking out noticeably under my 
tee-shirt, and they still felt extremely sensitive.  I dashed off 
another furious email, and logged off in a huff.

After class that afternoon, I logged in again.  I went to a different 
cluster, with a different brand of workstations.  I still remembered 
the soreness in my breasts.  Maybe it was superstition, but I didn't 
want to take the chance.

I first checked my email.  Sigh, it was mostly spam:  "$50,000 
Guaranteed!" "!Learn the Secrets of Attracting Girls!" "##Young, 
Hung, and Full of Cum!!" "High School Grrls Wanting and Ready for 
You!" "!!Tit Torture-Free Site!!" "Free Sex!" "Man Sucking Teen 
Tampon!" "No Spam!  No Password!  Simply HOT YOUNG GURLZ, Barely 
Legal!" "Get Rich Quick!  Make $50,000!!"  "Writers Wanted!"  What 
was up with those idiots?  Couldn't they tell from my name that I 
might possibly be female?

I also received a reply to my messages earlier this morning:  They 
had checked the workstations and found nothing wrong with them; what 
I had described could not possibly have happened.  Furthermore, I was 
not to reboot a workstation except under the direst emergency.  
Rebooting a workstation can potentially damage the workstation and 
the network.  I angrily bumped that message to the "Extra" box.  Yep. 
'Twas "Notwork Noservices" for you.

I started up Netscape again, and clicked on a URL.  I waited 
expectantly, then -- ZAP!  Owwww, my poor breasts!  Why oh why me, 
why is this happening to me? I wondered, burying my head in my arms 
on the keyboard and weeping.  When I sat back up, I noticed nearly 
everyone in the room looking at me.  Embarrassed, I quickly clicked 
on the logoff button and walked out of the room in humiliation.

That evening after supper, I finally succumbed to temptation and 
logged in again, in a third cluster.  This time, I decided to use 
Arena instead of Netscape, just in case.  Of course, it was utterly 
ridiculous to think that the web had anything to do with those shocks 
on my breast.  It had to have been pure coincidence that the shocks 
came just as I was opening a webpage.  Something was the matter with 
those particular workstations; that's all it was.

Nevertheless, after typing in the URL, I stood up off to the side 
almost in front of the next workstation over.  I kept waiting and 
waiting, not daring to press the ENTER key just yet.

"Excuse me, mind if I take this machine?"  Yikes!  I jumped, 
startled.

"Oh, yes.  Of course."  A bit embarrassed, I slid back to my own 
workstation.  Apparently this was the only free workstation, and 
someone wanted to use it.  Distracted, I pressed ENTER -- ZAP!!!!  
Everyone heard my shriek, I'm sure.  The guy asked, "Is something 
wrong?"

"Yes, very wrong!"  I managed to hold back my tears as I turned and 
walked out.  I ran all the way to my dorm and upstairs to my room and 
jumped on my bed for a good long cry.

Of course, I couldn't keep myself off the Internet.  I logged on 
again the next morning.  Along with the usual spam, I received an 
email reminding me to log out when I leave, saying how tempted he was 
to invite everyone to a strip poker party.  Okay, it was going to be 
another one of those days.

I slid down underneath the table before connecting to a website.  
Nothing happened that I could tell, but I decided to wait a couple 
minutes just to be on the safe side.

"Excuse me, Miss.  What are you doing under there?" came a harsh male 
voice above.

"Um, uh, checking something out."

"Young lady, if you have a problem with the computers, don't try to 
fix things yourself.  You could break something.  Report the problem 
to Network Services."  I slid out from underneath, flaming in 
embarrassment.  The man looked down at me.  "Understand, young lady?"

I nodded, flaming.  He turned and walked away.  I turned to sit down 
at the workstation -- ZAP!  Grrrrrrr!  Somebody's going to be 
castrated for this!  I imagined the scissors snipping:  snip-snip-
snip-snip.

The next time, I asked a girl sitting next to me to try it.  She 
didn't know how to use Netscape, but once I showed her, she was able 
to access the web without problem.  Meanwhile, I got ZAPPED again.  
She gave me a weird look, circled her finger around her ear, and 
left.

Another time, I slid a nice thick loop of rubber on me, across my 
breasts and around the back, under my tee-shirt.  It was awfully 
tight, especially on my breasts, but it should be a good insulator, I 
thought.  Anything would be better than being ZAPPED.

"What ARE you wearing under there?" someone asked on the way.

"Under where?" I pretended not to know what he was talking about.

"Rather strange underwear.  We can see it through your clothes, you 
know."

I blushed and ran off.  I should have worn a dark tee-shirt instead 
of a white one.  Anyway, the thing didn't work; I got ZAPPED again.  
When I took it off that evening, I found two holes burnt through the 
rubber, right at my nipples.

The next time I logged in, someone asked, "What are you doing in that 
scuba suit?"

"What?  Oh, am I still wearing this?  I guess I forgot to take it 
off."

"Uh huh, right."  He shook his head and walked away, muttering, "That 
girl needs help."

Sigh, nothing worked.  I was always ZAPPED, no matter what site I 
accessed, no matter what workstation I used, no matter what web-
browser I used.  Ahhhhhh!!!!

Sorting through my email, removing the ever-increasing spam, I 
noticed one title that had been coming with obnoxious frequency:  
"Tit Torture-Free Site!"  I blush to admit that I actually opened the 
spam and read it.  The message was very short.  "The Only Site You'll 
Ever Need!" followed by a URL repeated three times.  Feeling really 
foolish at following up a spam, I clicked on the URL and Netscape 
popped up.  Darn, too late!  I twisted my body in what I knew was a 
futile attempt to avoid the ZAP, and then came --

Nothing.  I looked at the screen.  The webpage had loaded up, and -- 
miracle of miracles! -- I wasn't ZAPPED!

I never found out what was happening.  But that no longer matters.  
Whenever I access the Web, I go to the "Tit Torture-Free Site."  I 
will never use another site.  This is The Only Site I'll Ever Need.

                             The END