First Contact
By Daibhidh
Inspired by, and Dedicated with love to, my dear friend Annie
I lay dozing in the pilot's couch, periodically performing a one-eyed
visual scan of the control instruments. As usual all readings were in
the green; which was good since the ship was flying on automatics.
I'd lifted from the moon's deep space launch site 35 days ago on a 10
year resupply mission to New Earth, the fourth planet of Proxima
Centauri. It was pretty much a trash hauling mission and, for all
practical purposes, I was just along for the ride. Union regulations
required a qualified pilot be aboard but the ship was perfectly capable
of making the trip without any help from me. Of course, the main
computer could fail I guess ... but that had never happened in the past
200 years.
I had signed on as a commercial cargo pilot shortly after being kicked
out of the Space Defense Force following an unfortunate incident
involving Annie, the Wing Commander's eighteen year old daughter. I told
the court martial panel that I'd have to be crazy to do anything like
that. They apparently agreed with that assessment and decided they
didn't need any additional crazy pilots.
It's a good job and I get to visit a lot of interesting new places but
it's dead boring, not to mention lonely, between planet falls. I've
always thought they should at least require a female co-pilot be added
to the mandatory crew but haven't been able to sell that idea as yet.
Just as I drifted back into my reverie involving the Commander's lovely
young daughter, a loud warning horn blasted throughout the ship. Panic
stricken, I snapped bolt upright, my eyes wildly seeking the cause of
this rude interruption. Adrenalin flooded my system as the 'fight or
flight' syndrome kicked in but, of course' neither fight nor flight was
a realistic option. I slowly regained some semblance of rational thought
and realized that the Proximity Warning klaxon was sounding and its red
warning light flashing. I could also feel the thrust of the Anti-
Collision jets taking evasive action to avoid collision. A large mass of
something was nearby and rapidly moving closer! Peering out through the
thick front and side ports I saw nothing except the unmoving star field
against the absolute blackness of deep space.
Well, something was damn well out there! These systems don't make
mistakes like that; much less two systems simultaneously. Something was
going to impact my ship! There was no time reach the escape capsule or
even to don a space suit. It would be an exercise in futility anyway;
I'd be long dead before any rescue ship could possibly reach me, even if
anyone tried - which they wouldn't.
Resigned to my fate, I waited for the hull to be breeched by an
asteroid, a piece of space junk, or whatever it was that I had been
lucky enough to have found in the vast emptiness of space ... and then I
was going to die; quickly and quietly in the hard, cold vacuum that
existed outside the hull. Well hell, if I'm going to die I might as well
be comfortable I thought, as I resumed my previous prone position on the
command couch awaiting the inevitable.
Suddenly the anti-collision jets kicked off and the warning horn fell
silent. The flight deck became so quiet I could hear the hydraulic servo
motors making their normal minute corrections in the ships attitude.
Apparently the crisis had been averted.
Just then I heard a soft thump, as something bumped gently against the
outer hull. Well, at least it was a soft collision, I thought. After a
few more moments of thunderous silence, I heard another sound from the
outside hull. It sounded as though an air lock had mated itself to the
main exit hatch.
Thoroughly confused now, I peered out through the window of the
entrance hatch and, instead of the normal blackness of deep space, I saw
a well lit corridor leading to another ship! Now I was even more
confused...what were the chances of another ship finding me in this vast
emptiness between the stars, especially without contacting me by ship-
to-ship radio before docking? This was getting weirder by the moment.
I moved to the communications console to make sure the system was
turned on. As I finished a successful self-test on the comm gear, I
heard a soft knock on the exit port hatch. What the hell was going on?
Who comes knocking on your front door when you're millions of miles
from the nearest planet?
Peering out through the entrance hatch port, I saw a space-suited figure
peering back at me! Without thinking of the ramifications, I spun the
dogging wheel, unlocking the hatch, then pushed the hatch outward. The
suited figure caught the hatch door and pushed it out until it locked in
the open position, then stepped into the cabin.
The face plate of the suit was so darkly tinted that I couldn't see the
person inside. After checking some sort of gage fixed to the right arm
of the space suit, the figure seemed satisfied and reached up to release
the helmet seal.
As the helmet was removed, the head of a beautiful young female was
revealed! Her short black hair gleamed in the bright flight-deck lights
and her soft, sensuous lips curved up into a broad smile. Her dark cat-
like eyes were slightly slanted giving her an exotic appearance.
"Greetings Earthman, got room for a hitch-hiker in distress?" she asked
in a soft, slightly husky voice.
Thank you God for providing in my hour of need, I thought rather
irreverently. But what was this "Earthman" stuff all about?
Unsealing the body of her space suit without waiting for an answer, she
quickly worked her way out of her suit and stowed it on a hook near the
open hatch. Turning back to me I noticed she was wearing a uniform of
some type consisting of a loose black and red tunic with black, form
fitting trousers. Black leather-like ankle boots completed her uniform.
Pretty fancy for a space pilot I thought. I was clad in my usual in-
flight uniform; white Jockey briefs with a frayed waistband.
"Where the hell did you come from," I asked in a bewildered tone.
"Zanc Romular," she replied curtly, as though that explained anything at
all.
"Right!" I responded. "Is this some kind is a surprise inspection to
test my emergency procedures? Who are you ... and what the hell is a
Zanc Romular?"
"I do not understand your phrase 'Emergency Procedures', Zanc Romular
is my home planet and my name is Anezenanix," she replied rather
tersely.
"OK, This is going nowhere! You've got me completely confused now.
How about we sit down and you can tell me just what in hell is going on
here," I said, guiding her to the empty right pilot's couch then eased
myself into the command pilot's left couch.
"Look, I can't even come close to pronouncing your name so if you don't
mind I'll just shorten it to Annie," I said, smiling at my own private
joke. "My name is Dave, by the way. Now, let's start over. In simple
words, tell me the whole story about how and why you came to be here."
She stared at me for a moment then, apparently deciding I could handle
the truth, began her narrative.
"First of all Zanc Romular is a planet orbiting the star you know as
Ursa Minor."
"That's ridiculous," I interrupted with a snort. "That's hundreds of
light years from here and, at least to me, you don't look nearly old
enough to have made THAT trip!" My god I thought, if she were telling
the truth she'd have had to have traveled half way across the galaxy ...
that's impossible! She must be suffering from oxygen deprivation. Either
that or she's been smoking something funny.
"Thousands of years ago, my people developed a hyperspace drive which
makes the term 'light years' meaningless, at least in the context of
space travel. With this drive we can jump across time instead of through
it, you stupid creature ... and stop interrupting me if you want to hear
the story," she snapped.
Properly chastised, I sat back with a rueful grin and said, "Sorry,
please continue."
"Anyway, with the use of hyperspace drive, we have explored most of the
star systems in this galaxy and, as far as we know, the planet you refer
to as 'Earth' is the only other populated planet in our small backwater
corner of the universe. We have been monitoring Earth for a few thousand
years now," she explained. "My main drive unit failed a few sleep
periods ago and I was trapped in normal space until I could fix it. I
was running low on oxygen when I spotted your ship and decided, to hell
with the rules, I was going to make first contact a little ahead of
schedule."
"I apologize for my manners," I said contritely. "It's just that you
scared the hell out of me ... and near-death experiences tend to make me
grumpy!"
"Ok, you're excused for your less than enthusiastic welcome. I'm also
sorry that my unannounced arrival frightened you but, as my comm unit is
not compatible with your antiquated equipment, I really had no choice in
the matter," she explained rather sarcastically.
"All right Annie, so we got off on the wrong foot, but we've both
apologized so let's try to get to know each other better. If you are
really from another star system, how is it you speak English so well," I
asked tentatively, hoping she would loosen up a bit. I knew that we had
both recently had been convinced that our deaths were imminent and were
still edgy. What we needed now was to relax and get our heads screwed on
straight again.
"Well, as I said, we have been monitoring your planet for a long time
and, for the past hundred years or so, you have been radiating
electromagnetic waves into space like mad. We have monitored everything,
from political speeches to I Love Lucy. That gave us the opportunity to
study your customs and languages. And, by the way, I also speak fluent
French, German, Russian, Spanish and Mandarin Chinese."
"Ok, but if that's true, why haven't you contacted us before now," I
asked.
"Up until now, you fools have been too busy trying to kill each other
off with your petty little wars. First it was swords and spears, then
gunpowder, and finally nuclear weapons! That's not a situation that
encourages strangers to come knocking on your door," she responded with
a wry grin. "Instead, we've spent our time learning your habits and
value systems."
"That also makes sense I guess, at least from your point of view. Have
you encountered anything you find confusing? Perhaps I could help clear
some things up for you," I offered, trying to placate her.
"Well," she responded, "The one thing that doesn't make much sense is
your method of procreation. Our people reproduce by laboratory cell
cloning but, as I understand it, you do it by something you call 'sex'
whereby the 'male' places 'seeds' within the 'female' in some manner.
The process is a little vague as your broadcasts never speak of or show
the actual process, except in the most general manner," she explained.
"We, on the other hand, do not have Male or Female entities, only
'oneness'. Our procreation process produces perfect replicas of
ourselves. It would seem to us that the process that you employ would
produce unpredictable, and often undesirable, results. Why would an
advanced civilization utilize such an unreliable process?" she asked.
"It has some other, more subtle, advantages," I said, lying back and
grinning at the overhead panels. "Am I to understand that your people
don't indulge in any pleasurable physical contact?"
She looked at me with a puzzled frown. "Pleasurable physical contact?
... I don't understand. Are you referring to the procreation thing?"
"Sure, in the course of your studies, you must have picked up on our
concept 'love'. There are many forms of love, but what I'm referring to
now is the mutual attraction between adult males and females. Well,
procreation is a subset of that type of love that involves what we call
'sex'. This is nature's way of insuring the survival of the species.
However, sex is so enjoyable that often we humans indulge in sex with no
thought of procreation, just for the sheer joy of it!"
"Very interesting," she mused. "I will have to ponder this concept. In
the meantime, do you have anything I might find pleasurable to eat? I've
been so busy trying to repair my ship, I completely forgot about food
until now."
"I have no idea of what your people consider food but let's check the
freezer unit and see if anything looks appealing to you," I replied,
offering my hand to assist her to her feet. The flesh of her hand felt
warm and silky to my touch and, as I looked at her beautiful face, I
felt a stirring in my loins.
Watch it, I thought. You don't even know if she has any sex organs; at
least as you would recognize them. Also, since you're only wearing a
pair of tatty undershorts, you've got no place to hide how glad you are
to see her.
I pointed her toward the galley area and followed as she walked to the
rear of the command deck. I couldn't help noticing how good her hard,
tight butt looked in those form fitting uniform pants! She sure looked
human, I mused as I watched her sensuously swaying ass. That's a good
sign anyway.
Unaware of my lecherous thoughts, she asked, "Do you have steak? I've
noticed that steak seems to be a very popular food on Earth and I'd love
to try it."
"Yeah, I'm sure I have some steak in there somewhere. By the way, do you
know that steak is the flesh of a domestic animal called a cow? Is it
acceptable to your customs to eat dead flesh," I asked, forcing myself
to abandon my inspection of her butt.
"Yes," she replied with a smile. "We also raise non-sentient creatures
for food but I don't know how they compare to the taste of 'cow'. I
believe cow meat will be compatible with my needs however."
God I hope so, I thought. This was going so well, I'd hate to kill her
with a T-Bone!
I checked the auto chef's menu and programmed two "Sirloin with
Mushroom" meals, one rare and the other well done, then punched the
Start button. "I'm going to have a cup of coffee while we wait. Would
you like to try that also," I asked.
"Ummm...yes. As I am going to have to rely on your hospitality for at
least a few sleep periods, I might as well experience as many of your
customs as possible."
Hmmm, now that opens up some very interesting possibilities, I thought.
Handing her a cup of coffee, I watched her as she tentatively raised it
to her lips and took a small sip. "Yuckkkk," she exclaimed! "It's
bitter! How can you drink anything that tastes so bad?"
"Just a minute," I said, taking her cup and adding two sugars and a
little creamer. "Here, try it now. I think this should take the
bitterness away," handing the cup back to her.
"Much better," she pronounced, after taking another small sip. "Very
good, in fact."
A musical tone sounded, indicating the auto chef had finished it's
magic. Removing the meals, I placed the two plates on the table. "Ummm,
that smells good," Annie exclaimed, pulling the rare steak to her side
of the table. After showing her how to use the knife and fork to cut the
steak into edible sized pieces, we settled down to enjoy our meals. I
watched her face closely to see if she approved the taste of dead cow.
Apparently she did because she polished off the rare 14 ounce sirloin
and pushed herself back from the table with a satisfied smile on her
face before I had even made a dent in mine.
I punched up two pieces of apple pie with ice cream for dessert, which
she devoured with great gusto; both of them! Jezzzz I thought. She must
be just a growing girl! Oh well, I'm not that fond of apple pie anyway!
After I cleared away the remains of the meal, stuffing the whole lot
into the recycler, Annie yawned and stretched, emitting a loud and most
unladylike belch. Looking very satisfied with herself, she announced
that it was now the start of her normal sleep period.
"Where is your sleeping area," she asked innocently.
"That may be a slight problem," I responded. "You see, this is a cargo
craft and the crew quarters are rather cramped. I'm afraid if you want
to sleep here we'll have to share the sleeping couch. It's alright with
me, if you don't have a problem with it."
"No, why would I have a problem with that. After all, you probably saved
my life and we'll be asleep anyway. I'm used to making do with
whatever's available," she replied with a quizzical look.
"Right, what's the problem?!" I replied, grinning at her, feeling like
the cat that just caught the Royal sparrow!
I showed her to the sleeping cubicle, then returned the command deck to
perform and log the end-of-watch inspection. After checking that all
systems were in the green and that we were still on course and on time,
I stepped into the 'freshener and let it's ultrasonic waves clean my
body. After the terrify ordeal of an imminent space wreck, I was
smelling a little gamy. Stark terror does that to a person.
Returning to the sleep cube, I found Annie wrapped in my only light
blanket, curled up asleep with her back toward me. As I lifted the edge
of the blanket to slip into bed, I was confronted with the sight of
Annie's cute naked butt staring back at me. Wicked thoughts flashed
through my mind as I slid quietly under the blanket.
Well, actually, these thoughts had been with me ever since she'd removed
her spacesuit helmet and I'd seen that my mystery visitor was a
beautiful young woman - the sight of her bare butt just brought them
raging back to the forefront!
Without coming fully awake, Annie murmured something in a language I
didn't understand and cuddled back against my body. Since the bed wasn't
designed for two people, the only way I could get comfortable was to put
my arm across her body. As I did so, my hand fell upon her breast! Well,
lucky me! She mumbled something else and I lay very still so that I
wouldn't wake her.
After a moment, I realized that not only was my hand resting on her
breast but that my fingers were resting on a pert little nipple. Slowly
I moved my fingers, softly stroking her nipple, feeling it expand and
harden. Just as I prepared to explore further, Annie whispered softly,
"What are you doing?"
I froze like a deer caught in the headlights of a speeding Land Rover.
What the hell had I been thinking of? Well, of course I knew what I had
been thinking of but why did I take such a foolish chance?
"I have no idea what you were just doing Dave, but for some strange
reason that I don't understand, it felt sooo good; please don't stop,"
she continued.
"I didn't realize you were awake, Annie," I said in an attempt at damage
control. "I only was saying good night to you ... it's an old earthling
custom!"
"I don't remember any reference to such a custom in our databases,"
Annie whispered, " but I think it's rather nice! It made my nipple all
hot and tingly ... and I got a really strange feeling in my stomach.
I've never experienced a feeling like that before. Whatever you were
doing, please continue."
"That's a pretty normal reaction Annie, at least for female earthlings,"
I whispered, my hand resuming its exploration her firm, silky breast. I
realized I was having some pretty normal earthling reactions myself, as
her sweet little butt pushed back against my groin! Nuzzling her neck, I
kissed her ear, causing her to shudder violently.
"Ahhhh ... What was that???" Annie exclaimed, now wide awake.
"That was just a little kiss. You've never been kissed before?" I asked
in amazement.
"No, of course not. We have noted several references to that custom
during our electronic surveillance, but I was under the impression
kissing involved the mutual pressing of lips," she replied.
"That's the most common type of kiss but there are a lot more places
where kisses can be very pleasant. Would you like to experience a lip
kiss?" I whispered in her ear.
Annie nodded her head. "Yes, I think that would be very informative,"
she said, rolling over onto her back.
Gathering her into my arms, my hand sought her other breast as my lips
closed over hers. Applying a little suction, I let my tongue gently
trace the outlines of hers while I moved the palm of my hand slowly back
and forth across her nipple. I could feel her body squirm in response to
my passionate ministrations. She slid an arm around my neck and pulled
me firmly against her.
"Wheeyooo," she exclaimed, as we came up for air. "You earthlings have
some very interesting customs! Can we do that again?"
"Sure," I replied with a happy grin. "This time, try opening your lips a
little and touching my tongue with yours, ok?"
"Ok," she smiled. "Is this 'sex'?"
"Not quite," I chuckled, "But I'm working on it."
As we moved into our second kiss, I felt her lips relax and her tongue
brush tentatively against mine. As my hand continued massaging her
breast, her tongue became bolder until it was well within my mouth,
exploring excitedly.
Well now, this was moving along nicely, I thought. Deciding to explore
further, I removed my hand from her breast and slid it slowly down her
ribcage toward her tummy. However, it didn't move more than a couple of
inches when it encountered an obstruction! Using my best Braille
techniques, I soon determined that the obstruction was topped by a hot,
throbbing little nipple!
Breaking our kiss, I sat bolt upright and flung the blanket off our
bodies. There, just below her breasts was a second set of breasts. These
were smaller than the upper ones but perfectly formed, complete with
tiny, fully erect nipples. I stared at them in utter amazement.
"Why do you have four breasts?" I gasped, completely confused.
"I have no idea," Annie said. "I didn't know why I had breasts at all
until a few moments ago. They always just seemed to get in the way ..
and all Romulans have them. Now I believe them to be dormant pleasure
sensors."
I leaned down and gently sucked one of tiny nipples into my mouth,
flicking it lightly with my tongue. "Ooooo" she cooed, pressing her
chest tightly against my mouth. "Those are even more sensitive than the
other ones!"
After a few moments of sucking her nipples, alternating until I had
ministered to all four of them, I reluctantly sat up and kissed her lips
once again while letting my hand drift slowly southward over her stomach
to the junction of her thighs. She relaxed her legs slightly, allowing
my hand to slip between them.
No surprises here. She definitely possesed a vulva .. not quite the same
as I expected but a vulva nevertheless. Its lips were not as long nor as
pronounced as a you might expect on a human and she had no pubic hair.
In fact, as nearly as I could tell, she had no body hair at all; her
skin as soft and smooth as a newborn babe's!
I eased a finger between her nether lips and discovered a warm, damp
haven. Further exploration revealed that she did indeed have a small
orfice corresponding to a vagina but, as I moved my finger forward, I
found no indication of a clitoris. However, I noticed that she was
quickly becoming very wet with lubrication.
Moving back to her 'vagina' I gently probed the opening with my finger.
As it slid slightly into her, I felt series of small round protrusions
ringing the opening. As my finger slid past them, she moaned loudly and
jerked her hips sharply forward, her tongue driving deeply into my
mouth. I had discovered the new and improved model of the common
clitoris! The possibilities boggled my mind!
We were both breathing heavily as I eased her back down onto the bed.
My arm was still around her shoulders, hugging her tightly to my body.
Suddenly she exclaimed, "What is that!" Following her eyes I saw she was
staring intently at my crotch. My neglected penis was protruding from
waistband of my shorts; hard as a rock, its head a bright purple.
"That's a male penis. I guess you've never seen one before, have you?"
"No," she replied, sitting up and bending forward to inspect it more
closely. "Is this your seed insertion device?"
"Well, I suppose it is, although I've never thought of it in quite that
way," I chuckled.
"Can I touch it?" she asked shyly.
"Sure," I replied, "Just be gentle, it's rather sensitive,"
I said as I quickly slipped out of my undershorts and flung them across
the room.
Annie reached out and ran her soft fingers over its straining head then
wrapped her hand around its shaft, squeezing it slightly as it jerked in
her grasp.
"Oh, that's nice! It's so hard, but, at the same time, so soft and
smooth," she observed. "But it's so big! Will that fit inside a female?"
"It has before ...many times," I laughed. Actually it wasn't all that
big as those things go, but since it was the only one she'd ever seen,
who was I to disabuse her opinion?
Releasing my penis, she lay back into my arms and cuddled against my
chest. "Have we had 'sex' yet," she asked.
"Not yet," I said. "Would you really like to try it?"
She was silent for a moment, then said, "I think I would. Are you
willing to teach me?"
"Well, I wouldn't do it for just anyone .. but I sort of like you, so
sure, why not," I told her solemnly.
"Now?" she asked eagerly.
"Ok, I suppose now is as good as any time," I grinned.
"What should I do?" Annie asked nerviously.
I rolled her onto me until she was laying on my chest, her legs outside
mine.
"Now, push yourself up by your arms and very slowly slide your body
down mine until I tell you to stop," I instructed.
She did as I instructed and when I felt her crotch touch the head of my
engorged penis I indicated that she should stop moving. Reaching down
between our bodies, I grasped my penis and positioned it at the entrance
of her vagina, lodging its head firmly in its small hot mouth.
"Now ease yourself back against me very, very slowly. If it feels
painful, just stop and rest until your body adjusts to it," I told her.
I felt her press her body down onto my penis, her eyes shut tightly and
her face squinched up in concentration. There was a slight hesitation,
then the head popped through. "Oooo!"she said as her eyes popped open.
She continued to press down upon me and her body slowly swallowed my
penis, her eyes opening wider with each passing inch. God, she was so
hot and tight I wasn't sure I how long could hold off. When she had
finally accepted all I had to offer, she grinned broadly and asked, "Are
we having 'sex' now?".
"Yeah sweetheart, we're having sex now, at least one version of it. How
do you like I so far?" I said with a smile.
"It feels great, I never knew anything could feel this good! What do I
do now?" she asked, her eyes shining with excitement.
"You're in control now. Do whatever makes you feel good. Try moving
slowly up and down a few inches so that it slides in and out of you." As
she complied with my suggestion, her eyes closed again and a look of
happy concentration spread across her face.
After a moment or two of this I said, "Ok, now try moving your hips
around in little circles." Remembering the placement of her multiple
clitoruses (or should that be 'clitori'?) I was sure that would really
feel good to her.
As Annie slowly started rotating her hips, her eyes popped wide open in
pleased astonishment. The up and down movements slowed as her hips
rotated faster and faster. Suddenly her look of pleasure changed to one
of panic. "Something's wrong, Dave! I feel like I'm going to explode!!!"
"That's normal, honey. Don't worry, you aren't going to explode. What
you're feeling is just the onset of what is called a climax; it's the
most wonderful feeling in the world. Don't stop now, just let your body
take control and enjoy it," I reassured her.
"Ok," she mumbled through clenched teeth as her hips gyrated faster and
faster. Suddenly, she threw her head back as she screemed "Oh Krili...Oh
Krili...Oh Krili!!!!" (I assumed Kril to be a major Romulan deity of
some sort) With a final bounce she collasped upon my chest, hugging me
tightly, her lungs gasping for air.
When her breathing returned to normal she mummerd into my chest hair,
"Krili, that was the greatest feeling in the universe! Can we do it
again? Pleaseeee!"
"Of course, Annie," I chuckled, hugging her tightly as I rolled our
still joined bodies over until I lay atop her.
Raising myself slightly until I was able to gaze into her eyes, I began
stroking myself slowly into her. "Do it faster and harder!" she
demanded.
"Ok," I replied, moving up on my knees and placing her legs on my
shoulders. Grasping the top of her hips with both hands, I pulled them
toward me while at the same time snapping mine forward.
"Oh, yessss," she cried as my trusts increased in speed and force. I
wanted to give her another climax but wasn't sure I could hold off long
enough. Soon she picked up the rhythm and began matching me thrust for
thrust.
As our tempo gradually increased I tried to hold back, but the clasp of
her hot wetness was driving me quickly to the top. Suddenly, as I felt
the muscles of her vagina spasm violently, I drove myself deep into that
lovely warmth and exploded.
We rolled apart and lay there breathing heavily; my arm still around her
shoulders hugging her closely against my body. "Ahhh, that was even
better than the first one," she grinned. "Can we do it again?"
Lord, what kind of a monster had I created???
"Sorry, honey. I have to recover for a few hours before we do it again.
Males are limited that way. Let's get some sleep now. It a long way to
New Earth and we'll have plenty of time to enjoy each other. Don't
worry, I've got a lot more tricks to teach you!" I murmured as I felt
myself drifting into sleep.
****
After what seemed like a just few moments (it was actually closer to
four hours) the alarm klaxon again blared throughout the ship. I went
from prone to vertical in something under ten nanoseconds, banging my
shins on the night stand in the process!
Looking about wildly, the source of the ungodly noise finally burned
through my muzzy brain. Racing to the bridge, I slapped a switch,
silencing the horn. I could once again feel the anti-collision thrusters
firing, frantically attempting to avoid a collision.
As I started checking the ship's life support systems, I noticed Annie
had joined me; in full uniform and not a hair out of place. "What is the
problem?" she asked calmly.
"Dammed if I know, but it's exactly what happened when you docked your
ship with mine," I snapped at her.
"Just a minute," she said calmly, turning to her stowed spacesuit. "I
think I know what it is."
Removing a small comm unit from the suit, she pushed a few buttons and
spoke into mouthpiece in that strange language I didn't understand.
After what seemed to be a short conversation, she snapped the unit
closed and replaced it in her suit.
"Don't worry Dave, it's only my rescue ship. If you would turn off the
anti-collision system, it will make their docking much simpler."
"Rescue Ship! What Damned Rescue Ship?" I demanded.
"The one I called when I was dead in the water and running out of oxygen
... just before I picked your ship up on my sensors," she replied as if
I wasn't quite bright. "Didn't I tell you about that?" she added with a
girlish giggle.
Before I could respond, there was a loud banging on the main entrance
hatch. "Oh, here they are now," Annie said, undogging the hatch and
swinging it open.
Four Annie-clones entered the ship. No spacesuits this
time; apparently Annie had communicated to them that our ship's
atmosphere was compatible with their needs. All four of them wore
uniforms identical to Annie's.
Annie introduced me to our visitors, none of whose names I could
pronounce, then chatted with them in their strange language. At one
point, they all looked at me slyly and giggled. Well, they're a rude
lot, I thought. Shortly after that, Annie sidled over to me and
whispered "You are out of uniform, Captain!" With that, she
surreptitiously handed me my tattered jockey shorts.
"Oh god, I forgot in all the excitement .. excuse me for a moment," I
whispered, then beat a hasty retreat to the back of the ship.
In my sleeping cube, I took one sniff of my sex-stained shorts, decided
they were no longer suitable for formal occasions and dropped them into
the recycler. Then I rummaged around looking for something more
appropriate for meeting foreign visitors.
I emerged into the gally, resplendent in new white boxer shorts with
litte red hearts outlining the fly. There I found all five of the women
gathered around the table eating rare sirloin steaks with mushroon
sauce. "We haven't had a chance to get to the apple pie yet," Annie
grinned.
"Well, don't eat up all my food, I still have a long lonely trip to New
Earth," I grumbled.
"Oh, don't worry about that," Annie explained, "You're going back with
us! I've told the girls all about my adventures and they all want you to
teach them about this 'sex' thing that you're such an expert at ... as
well as those other 'tricks' you hinted at! And besides, you already
told me this ship could make the trip to New Earth and back with no help
from you! I'm just going to take you where you're more needed."
The girls looked at me, grinning expectantly.
Oh, what the hell, I thought. According to my ex-wives, I had never very
monogamous anyway.
The End
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