June 22, 2009
I went back over Allison and the Primdales, mostly fixing mistakes but also incorporating a few suggestions from my readers and adding a paragraph here and there for clarification. I spent a lot of time cleaning up Part 4, because when I wrote it I was just so excited to get the story finished that I breezed through it and didn't even do any proofreading.
If you've read the whole story already, don't worry; the changes are minor enough that you don't have to read it over again. The story is the same, the events are the same, and 99% of the words are the same.
Here are the only two substantial revisions:
1. Added a scene in the middle of Chapter 82 with a discussion between Greg and Allison that makes him feel less like a villain and more like a father who really wants to do the right thing but doesn't know what that is.
2. Added a scene in the middle of Chapter 84 where Jeff tells Kari and Crystal about the plan and their reactions to it. It clarifies the motivations of the Williams girls so that they know just how far they might eventually have to go, and they're all right with it.
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