When we were young the future was so bright
The old neighborhood was so alive
And every kid on the whole damn street
Was gonna make it big and not be beat

Now the neighborhood's cracked and torn
The kids are grown up but their lives are worn
How can one little street
Swallow so many lives

What the hell is going on
The cruelest dream, reality

-The Offspring

**********


For those of you that find my writing long winded, boring, a 
drain to read, guess what? I'm now going to make it LONGER, 
MORE MIND-NUMBINGLY BORING then ever before! I pray to 
God it turns your one brain cell into mush! Just wait till I get to 
the part where I start working at a Nursery, that's right; dirt, 
potted, plants, flowers. I love that shit and I'm going to write 
about it HA! I can hear the groaning now, I love it!

Actually I am a very laid-back-happy-go-lucky-easy-going 
person, yeah I know you don't believe me based on all of the 
griping I've done one might think I walk around perpetually 
pissed off. 
 
Not true at all!
 
Well now, on with this super-charged, highly rated life of mine!


**********


Nikki and I were about ready to drop the proverbial bombshell 
on our respective boyfriends, partly because the rumors were 
getting out of control, and mostly because it's true.  The 
pressure is getting horrible!

But at the last minute we chickened out (Shut up you people! 
Don't roll your eyes at me! I have enough to deal with, so all 
your huffing and puffing on top of everything is not needed, 
these things take careful planning!). Anyway we used 'spring 
break' as a nice excuse to delay, it made sense because there 
was a whole group of us going on this trip, Nikki and her 
boyfriend included. 

Better to get the 'planned trip' over with. Then deal with 'the 
conversation', and consequences thereafter.

A whole day of flying is no fun, but that is what it took to get 
down to our destination at Cocoa Beach. It was beautiful we 
had great weather, a beach front property (all thanks to 
Sharon's family knowing someone that was kind of enough to 
let us use their beach house). For some reason I was a little 
bothered by the presumption on Dale's part that we would be 
sharing a bed together, it seemed that every couple there was 
sharing a bed together, maybe I felt like it just added fuel to the 
speculation that Dale and I were sleeping together, uhm I mean 
'having sex together'. 

Dale was constantly preoccupied with my body, sometimes to 
the point of being annoying (Wanting to constantly take pictures 
of me, wanting me to pose in my swimwear, underwear....you 
get the point. I guess I should be more appreciative). But guys 
listen, you have to learn that for women, well at least for me, it 
takes all the right ingredients before I am 'in the mood' to be 
affectionate, and I also like being 'in control'; So we get 
close....then I pull away....we get closer....then I pull away 
more. You get the point, maybe not.

Every morning was the same routine, off to the beach. I wore 
my usual provocative attire, a skirted hipster bikini bottom and a 
halter bikini top. Everyone knew I was a prude when it came to 
swimwear, but I tried to keep the sun off my skin as much as 
possible and still had this mental block about those skimpy 
bikinis my friends would wear, I just felt like I was standing 
outside in my underwear, practically naked! All of the other girls 
were wearing typical string bikinis, and had the bodies to wear 
them too. 

But Nikki in her black string bikini was the most devastating 
because it barely covered her, her body was just so smoking, 
gushing, drooling, sexy, babbling...crazy hot! She got a lot of 
stares from everyone on the beach. 

Me? HA!...I barely even noticed her....pffft! No big deal. She's 
one ugly chick.

I was still prodded persistently by 'the guys' to wear something 
more revealing. I think it actually made Dale proud when the 
guys would say, "Corbin you've got the best body out here, you 
should show it off."

"Thanks." I would smile and say.


*****


Nikki was laying face down on her beach towel, arms folded 
under her head, she had just come from a dip in the ocean so 
she was still all wet. 

"You shouldn't be trying to tan, bad for your skin you know?" I 
say.

Nikki smiles with her head still resting, "Just a few minutes and 
I'll get under the umbrella."

My eyes kept watching her legs, arms and back, her smooth 
naturally dark skin so well defined from years of soccer and 
exercise. Her jet black hair, plastered to her back. Her muscles 
tensed as she shifted to a more comfortable spot on the towel, 
the black bikini bottom that already did an inadequate job of 
covering her perfectly round bottom stretched as her gluts 
flexed during the shift. I felt an awkward warmth start down 
between my legs and I set the book down, no way I could 
concentrate now. 'Shit!' I even mouthed the words as I glanced 
back over and admired my friends beautiful derriere, 'the back 
of that suite is barely even there, how can she even wear that! 
And it's like a freaking second skin, so tightly plastered to her 
butt.' And fucking Rob! He keeps coming over to rub lotion on 
her thighs and back! Get lost you punk! 

Even if he is her boyfriend, and all that junk, still irritates the 
crud out of me!

AHHH!!! THAT'S IT!!
 
I can't take this anymore, I needed to cool off, I was loosing my 
composure again! I knew this was a bad idea for Nikki and I to 
be on vacation together.

"Care to join me for a swim?" I asked while standing, 'You 
dope!' my subconscious scolded me 'Are you just trying to give 
it all away! Be more discrete!' 

Anyway I expected her to say 'no', seeing how she just came 
out of the ocean. 'Say no, say no, say no' I privately prayed, 
temptation is too much for me right now, 'I should never have 
asked, I'm an idiot!' Yeah I have these conversation in my head 
all the time.

"Sounds nice." Nikki smiled and went to stand up, my heart 
fluttered and so I looked away, back out over the water, any 
more staring on my part just caused me to ache for her even 
more and it would just break my heart to not be able to touch 
her now.

We gave a wave to our boyfriends as they stayed behind, 
diving into the cooler for another beer and to talk sports, guy 
talk, whatever.

"Were are you girls staying?" some guys remarked, total 
strangers to us, as we walked by them, "Our names are blah-
blah and blah-blah! What are yours?" the guys continued but 
we just kept on walking. The comments were frequent as we 
walked down the beach toward the waves. Some were very 
direct questions, but it's spring break and guys were hot on our 
tails every single step of the way. The only time they cooled the 
talk was when Nikki and I were with our boyfriends, but still that 
didn't keep them from making comments. Most annoying was 
when guys would do an about face and start following us, trying 
to strike up a conversation.

We started to wade out into the water, some of the incoming 
waves were pretty big which made it all the more fun, soon we 
were both diving into the oncoming surf as they would crash 
towards the shore. We got distracted and ended up drifting 
several yards away from our camp, the plan all along 
*wink*nod*smile*.

"Look how far we've drifted!" I raised a finger in the direction of 
our tent. I can't recall feeling this upbeat in a long time. 
Suddenly I was being pulled down into the waves from behind, 
"Gotcha!" Nikki said. My head surfaced, bobbing around when I 
saw my girl coming toward me again. She had a playful look on 
her face and I was ready this time, but she paused to adjust her 
bikini top, that's when I ran toward the next oncoming wave and 
dove into the water.

"Not so fast!" I heard her voice for a brief second and then my 
head was under water as I swam. I felt fingers tips trying to 
grab my ankles, 'Damn she's a fast swimmer.' so I stopped and 
treaded water.

"Gotcha again!" Nikki said, her teeth flashed even whiter 
compared to her tan skin, her arms wrapped around my torso.

"Yeah, you've got me." I said as I caught my breath thru an 
open mouth, I also realized I wasn't smiling. We were far 
enough out that the waves caused our bodies to rise and fall 
before the waves would start to break, for a brief moment we 
would loose sight of the shore during the swell. Nikki stopped 
smiling as well and I started to wrap my arms around her body, 
I looked around and she did the same, was anyone watching? 
Could anyone even see us? I kissed her cheek as her head 
was still turned to look toward our camp.

"Another fine mess you've gotten us into." She said with a smile 
and kissed me on the lips.

"Indeed." I sighed and kissed her back. By now our bodies had 
achieved very intimate contact under the water, with so much 
bare skin pressing tight; our stomachs, chests, thighs 
periodically intertwined. Everything slippery due to the lotion, 
after our brief kiss Nik's look got serious and she moved her 
face in again, but pulled away, testing to see what my reaction 
might be. So I gently bumped my nose into hers, she bumped 
back again and smiled a little, we fell into a trance, simply 
staring into one another's eyes as the whole world faded, we 
were lost on some deserted island, just the two of us. Nikki's 
mouth moved over my chin, cheek and forehead, all the while I 
did the same to her. We loved to touch, and feel one another.

"Finally I get my hands on you, I've been watching you on the 
beach all day." Nikki purrs into my ear, "I love this fine ass of 
yours." 

I blush at those wonderful words and I feel her strong fingers 
gripping my butt. I then gasp and moan when she bumps her 
crotch into mine and I rubbed mine back against hers. We 
remained hugging for a few more minutes, cheek to cheek, until 
Nikki asked in what was a most remarkably sad tone, "What are 
we going to do?"

She wasn't looking for a serious answer at this moment and I 
didn't have one in any case. I knew what she meant, it was just 
a frustrating situation to be in as we were still carrying on this 
'front' with everyone.

"It will happen Nik, it will happen, I believe it will, let's just stick 
to our plan after vacation." I sighed. Her response was typical 
Nikki, she leaned back and smiled a little, she had this look of 
relief on her face and kissed me on the lips again.

"I believe in us too." Nikki moaned into my mouth and we 
parted after another long, but deeper kiss.

"We should get back." She said, I just smiled and nodded.

"Race ya!" Nikki yelled.

"GO!" I said and took off first.

"Cheater!" Nikki said but caught up with me and passed me 
before we got to the shore. It was a wonderful stroll back to our 
group, unfortunately everyone was already there which made 
our disappearance together all the more scrutinized, no one 
said anything but I could feel it in the stares.

'Cheater' That word seemed to hang around in the back of my 
mind for the rest of the beach trip.

It was the second to last night of our vacation and the entire 
group decided to go out to a local dance bar. Yippee! 
<sarcasm> I really wasn't being a stick in the mud, because the 
thought of getting out and dancing with Dale was kind of a turn 
on so I put on a nice sexy, short dress that hugged my curves 
kind of tight. He was all over me making sure everyone knew 
we were together. No problem I kind of enjoy it. Nikki looked 
incredibly sexy in a dark gray short one piece dress that also 
hugged every inch of her body. 

"Are you wearing underwear?" I whispered in her ear. She 
smiled and made my heart pound, but nodded yes and 
mouthed, 'very small'. Rob was all smiles and jacked-up and 
proud of his sexy, gorgeous girlfriend. 

I wonder if Nikki was feeling the same thing I was? Twinges of 
jealousy shooting thru me when I watched her boyfriend hug 
and squeeze her body tight against his. Was she feeling the 
same thing when Dale did the same to me?

We've often told one another how it pains the other. But still. 
We locked eyes a couple of times before heading out the door 
and that told me all I needed to know. A longing expression that 
was full of hurt and lust.

Maybe we would dance tonight, I hoped, we both hoped, but 
probably not dare. Things were becoming unraveled a little bit 
and our boyfriends were not totally dense.

But it happened, by chance, but willing allowed, if that sounds 
possible? Or grammatically correct? 

Dale and I had been dancing, very suggestively, yet fun, but 
were ready to take a break once the song ended. Nikki and 
Rob had just just come on the dance floor and there would be 
no doubt about who would be getting the attention now. Nikki 
was sexual Goddess on the dance floor. 

As I was bopping around on the crowded dance floor I lost sight 
of Nikki. I say 'bopping' because I sometimes loose my groove 
and just make up silly dance moves that are a little goofy. And 
then I felt somebody bump into my ass. Initially I was irritated 
and jerked my heard around to see the back of the woman, her 
hair was jet black, straight and down to her shoulder blades. 
Instantly I knew who it was, the way she shaking wildly behind 
me I could barely contain my excitement. 

I couldn't help but repeatedly turn to keep her eyes on the 
beautiful woman behind me, Nikki never turned to look at me. 
And then she bumped me in the ass again! I knew it was on 
purpose now! I doubt the first time was an accident. Anyway, I 
discretely kept focused on Dale while taking in the short, dark 
gray, silk dress she was wearing that hugged her upper body 
tightly before flowing smoothly over her hips. After several 
looks she caught me glancing back to give me a faint smirk. We 
locked eyes and I gave a slight, quick bump directly back into 
Nikki's own firm ass. 

I wasn't prepared for the almost immediate retaliation as the 
dark headed girl backed into me and didn't just pump into me 
but ground the entire back of her body, ass and all, against 
mine. I felt the smooth material of our dresses cling and the firm 
flesh of Nikki's ass press into my own. As the music blared 
loudly we exchanged several more ass to ass collisions.

Somehow we managed to do this with alerting out boyfriends, 
at least that is what we thought.

When the song ended Dale hugged me and we left the dance 
floor, I gave a quick look over my shoulder and saw Nikki 
watching me walk away. It didn't take long for Nikki and Rob to 
join us at the table. I had my legs crossed, swinging my foot 
back and forth rapidly to ease my tension. Nikki sat across from 
me and mimicked my posture and the two of us locked eyes. 
Nikki began rubbing her calf mine several times.

"I saw you watching me." I leaned over and teased with a flirting 
smile. This illicited a lusty rise from Nikki's chest, she leaned in 
closer speaking so low I could barely hear, "I loved watching 
your perfect ass strut off the dance floor."
 
She sat back in her chair and we locked eyes again. 

Dale and Rob seemed totally involved in their own male, macho 
conversations about sports and whatever. Both proud to have 
the two most beautiful women in the bar at their sides. 

Aren't we so arrogant!

We excused ourselves to the Ladies room to 'freshen up' but 
that was a only partially true. On the way back we detoured thru 
the dance floor, so it could be just the two of us. The booze was 
helping us to make some bold choices. What ended up 
happening was that we would often turn around and bump and 
grind, ass to ass. Again the intoxicating sensation of smooth 
material of our dresses and the firm flesh of Nikki's ass 
pressing into my own. The DJ's music blared loudly as we 
exchanged several more ass to ass collisions.

Once we started to get some attention we turned to face one 
another and instantly recognized, with blushed smiles, we were 
hooked into a new sexually, erotic fetish. It was fairly 
embarrassing at first to recognize and accept this new desire, 
but Nikki and I found bumping ass-to-ass to be a new 
obsession between us.

Returning to the crowded bar, Dale and Rob had guarded our 
stools diligently, as they should. Rob then made a comment 
that, was.....well......you'll see.....

"You two look sexy as hell together."

"Thank you." I just blush and let it roll off. Or I attempted to let it 
roll off, but Nikki's failure to produce a genuine smile smile 
along with a quick glance over her shoulder to Rob spoke of 
something more knowledgable. Something irritating. 

"What?" My beer bottle was poised to be gulped in massive 
quantities if the vide I was getting was confirmed. Quicker than 
someone as drunk as I was, my head did a quick glance over 
my own shoulder to read Dale's expression, but he glanced 
away and drank his beer, I was then back at Nikki who seemed 
to know something I didn't about Rob's comment. There was 
some history there, now I was intrigued!

She leans forward only an inch, if that, it was the serious look 
on her beautiful face that made the effort all the more 
noticeable. "Rob thinks you and I should have sex together." 
and she made no effort to lower her voice. In fact, it was 
audible to Dale and Rob.

My heart plunged, my chest heaved, and down the hatch my 
drink went.

"That's not what I said Nikki!" His tone slightly defensive, "I just 
meant you two are two of the sexiest girls here." Now he 
sounded like he was back peddling, a lot.

"Is that what you think?" I twisted my upper body around to look 
up at Dale. I am shocked I haven't pinched a major nerve in my 
neck with all the spastic looking around, trying to study 
reactions.

"What?" He tried the dumb approach first. "Rob's right you two 
are both the sexiest women, ever."

"No, wait a second," I was now trying to navigate thru a beer 
haze, I had a good buzz and didn't want to lose that, but 
wanted to keep track of all the sordid details. "You guys want 
us to make out?" and I waived my finger back and forth 
between Nikki and I.

"Sorry. It came out all wrong." Rob said and placed his hand on 
Nikki's shoulder. She didn't roll it off, but her look to him was 
not a happy one. 

"Is that what you want?" I looked over and up at Dale. "You 
would like that?"
What babbling, wiggling, words of nonsense came out of his 
inebriated brain and mouth next I can't even properly rephrase. 
It was the hesitation that told me everything I needed to know.

In so many words, Nikki then informed me that in moments of 
relaxation, brought on usually by large quantities of alcohol, 
Rob has suggested that he would 'love' to watch Nikki and I 
make out. There it was: The realization that Rob pictures me 
naked, with Nikki, having sex. Sounds good to me, but just not 
in front of anyone.

And I am just finding this out? 

I am finding this out in a loud, crowded bar, all of us intoxicated, 
and Dale doesn't seem bothered by the idea. At least not as 
bothered as he should be. 

Finally I am confronted with 'that something' which many 
women have to deal with eventually. Yes, I have been at 
parties where men have asked for me and another girlfriend to 
make out. I've had strange women come up to me and want to 
make-out. Those were easily dismissed. No way, not going to 
happen. Forget about it.

But this is something totally different. My best friend's 
boyfriend, and my boyfriend are the ones breaching the subject 
of wanting to watch Nikki and I make out. And I don't know how 
to react to any of this. I'm stunned, insulted, flattered, angry, 
furious, aroused, confused, emotionally hurt, embarrassed! I 
needed to do something, but what? 

For the first time Nikki seemed awkward and embarrassed and 
not sure what to say or do. She didn't want to ruin our good 
time by storming out of The Club, or getting furious.

I set my beer down, my left hand grabbed her right as I went to 
stand up. "Dale, Robb, please settle the tab, Nikki and I will be 
outside waiting." I had no idea what I was doing. Taking charge 
maybe?

Nikki grabbed her purse, and without missing a beat, was right 
there next to me as we walked out of the club and toward the 
edge of the parking lot, passing the long line of patrons waiting 
to get into the bar. The stares and suggestive comments from 
the men waiting in line actually caused me to give an arrogant 
smirk as we strutted down the sidewalk.

"Jerks." Nikki mumbles.

"Yep." I sigh.

"What now?" 

"I don't know." I really had no clue. I was struggling to walk 
straight.

Our men caught up with us and we all piled into a cab, just as 
we had come to The Club. Only this time the ride home was 
awkward and quiet. Nik and I sat in the middle, she to my left. 
My left hand was clutching her right. Her left hand was rubbing 
Rob's leg as he gently touched the back of her hand. Same for 
me, my right hand was rubbing on Dale's leg. He leaned over 
and kissed me on the check, but I just kept looking ahead, 
straight ahead.

"Can we talk about this." Rob said when the Cab pulled away 
leaving the four of us standing in front of the Beach House. 
Dale was by my side, hugging me. 

I followed Nikki's gaze and looked up to the large house, a few 
people were home already. A nice warm breeze caught us and 
the sounds of the nearby ocean made the mood all the more 
relaxing. Took the edge off for sure.

"Sure, lets go to our room." I sighed and started up the stairs. 
Nikki close to me on my left while the boys followed us up. 
Walking into the foyer I immediately took notice of cool A/C 
circulating inside, the humidity outside was pretty bad. A thin 
layer of sweat shined off our exposed arms and legs. The main 
stairs, rather large, wound up to the left, thankfully it was all 
carpeted so our heels didn't announce our entrance to the 
upper level guys and girls milling about. The mood was still 
somber, and in an effort to keep the buzz going Dale offered to 
get us some beers from the downstairs fridge. Nikki simply 
nodded and I said 'Thank you'. 

Rob offered up a enthusiastic "Sounds great, I'll help."

Never once, since the first time Nikki and I have met, was there 
an awkward moment like this as the two of us stood in the 
room. I opened the windows that overlooked the oceanfront to 
let the warm breeze in and balance out the cold A/C that had 
been pumping all day and night. It was a nice distraction. 

Nikki came up behind me and stroked my arm. "Sorry, didn't 
mean to spoil the night."

"Not at all." I smiled a little and turned to face her. We stood 
between the end of the bed and the dresser that had a large 
mirror. The boys had returned and they handed us an open 
bottle of Corona Light, can't remember a beer tasting so good.

Rob paced awkwardly and I could tell the weight of the night's 
disastrous turn of events weighed on his shoulders. But 
disastrous how? There was no yelling, screaming, arguing 
taking place. Just awkward silence.

"Dale close the door." He silently obeyed. I noticed he also 
locked it. Not sure what to make of that just yet, I had given no 
instruction on locking the door. 

Nikki took another long drink of her beer. I watched the sexy girl 
drink, her wet lips moving over the opening of the bottle before 
pulling it away. 

Rob had finally stood still for more than a few seconds and 
broke the silence, "I guess I should start." 

"No, don't say anything." Nikki sighed and glared to her right at 
him. She even gave a small flick of her wrist like she was 
dismissing him. The poor guy exhaled and took a step back, 
there was a chair in the corner that he seemed to slowly fall 
back into. He looked sad and defeated.

I looked to my right, Dale was back up against the edge of the 
bed. Nikki backed up a few steps and I followed her, the two of 
us now occupied the space between where Rob sat and Dale 
stood, or was standing, as I looked at him he took a drink of his 
beer and then sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Hold this." I said and handed my beer to Dale, he took it for 
second and then placed it on the nightstand, I don't think he 
ever took his eyes off me. Nikki mimicked my move and 
handed her beer to Rob.

"I want to kiss you." I whispered into her ear.

"I want to kiss you." She whispered back. 

The truth was, we did want to make out with one another, 
desperately. We could put up a big show of protest and 
chastise our boyfriends before moving on past this whole 
messy discussion. But the moment felt intimate, the room cozy, 
the light on on the dresser was very low wattage which added 
to the atmosphere.

Dale and Rob sat motionless, I wasn't even sure if they were 
breathing, maybe afraid to break the spell that had come over 
us. Nikki's hands were stroking my arms and I wrapped my 
hands around her back. 

When the front of our bodies pressed in tight I thought I heard a 
collective gasp from both men. Lightly at first first our lips 
touched, I wonder if we gave it all away in those first few 
seconds. There was no giggling or awkward fumbling, Nikki and 
I came together like two familiar lovers, touching and kissing in 
ways that we both knew and liked. A perfect synchronization of 
lips and tongues, gliding over one another. The heat in the 
room spiraled upward as we started to become lost in the 
moment, grinding our bodies together, forgetting we were on 
display for these two men. The corner of my eyes caught them 
adjusting their positions, and their crotches. 

My hands boldly went down and gripped Nik's tight ass and 
squeezed, she had her own hands on my ass now and 
caressed my butt cheeks and hips, moving down and feeling 
along the hem of my dress that was dangerously short. Her 
finger tips played with that hem and now I wondered how far 
this would go. I panicked a little when she pulled up on my 
dress, but when she sucked on my tongue, pulling it far out of 
my mouth and began nursing it in long sensual sucking motions 
with her lips I thrust my crotch against hers and she pulled my 
dress all the way up to my hips, revealing my skimpy naked ass 
cheeks for Dale and Rob to see, only my tiny pink thong hid 
away my clean shaven pussy. Not to be outdone, I sucked on 
Nikki's tongue and pulled up her skirt, all the way to her waist, 
revealing her own small dark purple thong panties. Our hands 
now had access to bare skin as we humped our silk covered 
crotches together. Our long, strong legs moving for better 
position and access.

Rob was drinking his beer and leaning forward, almost off the 
chair totally. Dale had moved to try and get closer as well.

I rationalized that Rob had seen me in a bikini before, not a 
thong, but still, some of my bikinis leave little to the imagination. 
He was admiring the view of my bare ass from how his eyes 
kept moving to the back of me. Dale was mesmerized by 
Nikki's own perfect ass cheeks, both men admiring their 
beautiful girlfriends kissing and fondling each other in the 
middle of the room.

I was swooning with delight under Nikki's touches, our bare 
legs and bold moves were making me so horny it was almost 
painful. Her aggressive touches told me she didn't want to stop 
and maybe had no intention of stopping. But had we gone too 
far already?

Nikki's hands came up and started to unzip the back of my 
dress, nervously I began to unbutton the back of her blouse. 
For the first time I was getting scared. Nikki's hands moved to 
her waist and unhooked the back of her skirt, pushing it down 
and then deftly kicked it aside, she stood only in high heels, a 
thong, and a blouse that was in the process of being removed. I 
rolled my shoulders as one hand reached up to pull down on 
the left strap. A startled realization came to mind that I wasn't 
wearing a bra. Now Rob would get to see bare breasts, which 
sort of bothered me, but also excited me.

For the first time I smiled a little as I pushed down on my dress, 
my eyes locked on Nikki's, we felt safe in each other's gaze as 
our bare breasts were exposed to the men in the room. Nik 
smiled back and we hugged, feeling the compression of our 
bodies, the feeling of warm, smooth skin made me almost want 
to cry. My nipples were so hard. I could feel Nikki's hard nipples 
pressing into my own breasts and we squeezed tighter, 
enjoying the pressure of breasts against one another. 

With my head resting on her left shoulder I looked over and 
found Dale gazing up at me. "Did you enjoy that?" I asked. He 
looked shell shocked. In my mind it seemed a good time to put 
the breaks on things. I really didn't think Nik and I could take it 
any further.

"I've never seen anything so beautiful." Dale's voice sounded 
rather dry, and he took another drink of his beer. It made me 
thirsty and I eyed my bottle on the table nearby.

Nikki was talking to Rob, I heard something along the lines of 
'Thank you' and 'Amazing.' She kissed my cheek and we pulled 
away, the cool air filled the void of our heated, sweat covered 
bodies. There was a brazen, bold attitude coursing thru my 
veins now as I walked over and picked up the beer to take a 
sip. Dales right hand reached out and began stroking my legs. 
With my left hand on my hips and a beer in my right I looked 
over and found Nikki replicating my pose, she too was drinking 
from her beer as she stood next to where Rob sat. With our 
bare chests on display there was a sexual charge filling the 
room. Rob stole glances at me as Dale did the same toward 
Nikki's amazing breasts that sat up straight and perfect on her 
chest. Her dark brown nipples were so erect that I wanted to 
tweak them and suck on them right there. Everyone in the room 
wanted to!

There was something Dale wanted, I know the look in his eyes, 
he stood up and pulled me into his arms. "What do you want?" I 
teased. He leaned over and kissed me. Soon Dale and I were 
in a full, open mouth, tongue probing kiss.

What were Nikki and Rob thinking of our sudden displays of 
affection?
They didn't notice, or if they did, they had already decided to 
join-in. Soft moans and kissing from their own passionate 
embrace told me they were very well preoccupied.

Dale laid back down on the bed and pulled me with with, I was 
kneeling over his body, kissing his chest after he took off his 
shirt. My butt was facing toward Rob and Nikki, I was feeling a 
little embarrassed that they could see my crotch and probably a 
nice dark wet spot from my leaking juices.

I looked over and Nikki pulled Rob toward the bed. It was a king 
size bed so there was plenty of room. Nikki turned out the light, 
it was a lot darker now, but not as dark as I had hoped. I kicked 
off my heels, and peeled off my underwear, Dale was already 
undressed and we climbed under the covers. 

Rob and Nikki, now also nude, climbed into right side of the bed 
closest to the windows. Nikki and I were in the middle and 
started out with our backs to each other so we could focus on 
the guys. It was exciting having another couple in the bed, the 
motion and moaning of other bodies seemed to elevate my 
sexual desires like I had never thought. 

**********


So I wanted to come up with a very cool description for how it 
all unfolded, because I don't feel like my writing style is really 
'all that', but all I could come up with is the age-old lines; 
'An uneasy silence' and 
'You could cut the tension with a knife'

Junk like that.  Okay so now that we have the atmosphere out 
of the way lets move along to....
The setting:  My apartment.
The day and time: Friday-late afternoon.

All that's left to do is come totally clean with Dale, but 
something didn't feel right. As the first paragraph indicated, not 
only was I acting very tense and quiet, but so was he. Hmm not 
a good sign, so I tried to relax the situation by asking him to lay 
down with me on my bed, I just had on some casual jeans and 
a sweatshirt, he was dressed about the same. Better that he lay 
down so that when he gets the news he doesn't keel over and 
bump his head on the floor. 

No sooner had we both gotten comfortable he drops the bomb 
on me first. 

"You want to tell me the real story about you and Nikki?" He 
said almost like he's suspected for some time now, in a casual 
tone type of way.

DRAT! DOUBLE DRAT!!

Because I can be a total spaz my head jerks around so fast it 
was like admitting 'Hey! I am guilty as hell and you just beat me 
to the punch!' Geez luweez! His expression was somewhere 
between angry and sad which caused me to go rigid for a 
second. I lowered my head back down as my right hand moved 
up to my face, my fingers slowly begin to rub my head and eyes 
'Oh God, here it goes.' Still I had given no response, but thats 
just additional confirmation as far as he was concerned I guess. 
'Well good' I was fed up with the lies and half-truths.

"Damn it! So it's not a fucking rumor!" and he promptly propped 
himself up on his right elbow looking down at me. Hmmm....I 
don't think a pouty face and some tears will get me out of this 
mess. I pulled my hand from my face and let it flop down on the 
bed, now I wanted to really cry (not bullshit cry either) I've been 
making a fool of myself, of Dale, for months now acting like 
nothing was going on when everyone suspected, everyone had 
to know! What were we thinking! 

"Say something Corbin! What's going on? Please tell me it's 
just some experimental phase!" He snapped, not loudly, but 
there was a tone in his voice now, agitated and confused (no 
wait, I was the one agitated and confused, I don't know, gheesh 
I can't keep all this junk straight!)
 
"No! Nikki and I...." I tried to collect my thoughts into something 
coherent, of course that wasn't working. Don't I need to be at 
Soccer Practice now? Or be taking a long written test? 
Anything would be more pleasant then this.
 
"How long has this been going on? Did you have sex with her? 
And all your big talk about how you would never fool around 
behind my back! You know what Corbin that applies to women 
as well!" Dale suddenly bolted upright and was now standing 
next to my bed then he began to pace the room. "I'm such an 
idiot!"

I looked over at him and could tell he was getting really angry, 
more angry then I have ever seen him and rightly so. I on the 
other-hand lay there, unmoving, actually very relaxed for a 
minute, a big weight had been lifted off me, I just now waited for 
that other weight, the one of guilt and consequences to come 
crashing down.

"Are you bisexual Corbin? When did you two start seeing each 
other because I want to know how long you've been making a 
fool out of me, and our relationship! Thank you for being so 
fucking honest with me!" 

Dale was really blasting me it was actually very impressive! He 
was usually always kissing my butt!

I let out a long groan and sat up swinging my legs over the side 
of the bed to face him.

"I don't fucking believe this, and you don't have anything to say 
to me?" he now stood looking down at me hands on hips. Yep 
that's right, not a word! Partly because my blonde brain does 
not function as it should all the time. That is a fact known 
worldwide my friends.

I took a deep breath and looked up with my best sad face, 
upturned the palms of my hands and said, "I'm sorry Dale I 
should have come to you before now."

"So you're attracted to women is that it? I can't believe it, I 
never would have thought you!" and then another pause, guess 
he decided to go for the really big question now, "Do you love 
her? Wait! Don't answer that, I don't want to know, more 
importantly are you two still seeing each other?" 

"Still seeing one another? Well, yeah." I sighed and my right leg 
started to bounce nervously, a sign I was getting angry, all 
these questions are making me irritated now. I looked up and 
raised my eyebrows "I don't have any answers Dale, I didn't 
plan this, how could I know anything like this would ever 
happen to me, I'm sorry." And I actually started to cry a little.

"I want you to end it now! Call her now and I want to hear you 
say its over! You're my Girlfriend not hers, you can't throw 
everything we have together away on a relationship with some 
girl that won't ever amount to anything!" He was shouting while 
pointing his fingers down at me and then at the phone.

"That's not true!" I snapped looking up, sniffing back the tears 
while shaking my head 'No' to his command that I call her and 
break it off.

"What's not true? Are you actually going to tell me that you 
could have some kind of life with Nikki? Are you going to have 
a family with her? For almost two years you and I have been 
together, I was planning on asking you to marry me right before 
we graduate? Did you even think about that!" Dale sounded like 
he wanted to keep going but his voice was shaking and tears 
were welling up in his eyes.

Wow, this conversation is going a lot worse then I originally 
anticipated. How did I gloss over all the 'punch in the gut' 
emotions that I was feeling? 'Okay get your act together.' I 
thought and wiped my cheeks, enough of this crying shit and I 
stood up straight looking him in the eyes and said "Yes I do 
love Nikki, but I love you too Dale." I hope that didn't come out 
sounding too 'cold'?

His expression went hard, and for the first time I saw him 
emotionally pushing me away trying to protect himself, he 
reached for his jacket and put it on, "All your big, damn talk 
about honesty and being faithful, all the while you're playing me 
for a fool while you figure things out with Nikki." 

"I know I need to make a decision Dale!" again I felt like I was 
buying more time, or was I? So many life-altering decisions that 
needed immediate attention, but it all felt like a major traffic jam 
in my brain. 

"Maybe the decision isn't yours to make!" and he stormed out 
after that.

Well now, I never thought of it that way, maybe Dale will 
actually break up with me and I won't have any choice in the 
matter. That's a strange position to be in for once, no one has 
ever broken up with me! I haven't dated much either, but 
anyway, very odd.

In some odd way I was also feeling liberated, but with new 
found freedom comes some ugly truths that are bound to 
resonate through our friends and eventually our families. I 
called Sharon and she came straight over from Kevin's (her 
boyfriend), I was totally honest about everything. It really blew 
Sharon away to hear me actually admit I was romantically 
involved with Nikki, although she always suspected, but having 
actual confirmation seemed to really affect her. 

Sharon kept asking; 
'What about Dale?' 
'What about you and Dale?' 

I had to get very firm with Sharon at one point so she would 
understand, Nikki and I are NOT a 'one time curiosity-thing' we 
are in-love and in a serious relationship. Sharon finally got it 
and went dead silent for a few minutes fidgeting with her hands 
until she finally said "Well at least you two have good taste in 
women." and that kind of made me smile.

Suddenly I had the urge to go for a run, or head over to the 
gym. When I get confused and don't know what to do I retreat 
back to the 'tried and true' things in my life that have yet to let 
me down. Emotions are confusing and make my head hurt, and 
my heart, and my tummy gets a little queasy, and who needs all 
that mess!


**********


I don't know what it is but every time Nik and I try to reach each 
other via cell phone the other always seems right there, ready 
to pick up, more goofy symbolic spiritual stuff to decode? Or 
maybe I'm just reading too much into it.

Anyway Sharon left and Nikki was on her way over, her 
experience was pretty similar to mine except she broke the 
news to Rob first. Nik said he literally jumped up from his chair 
and yelled "I fucking knew it!" his face turned several shades of 
angry-red as he went on a blistering tirade that included much 
of what Dale had said.

Will this miserable, damn day ever end? 

I look down at my watch yet again 'quarter after six'. I was 
sitting outside on the front stoop of my complex and waited, the 
cool breeze and fresh air put me at ease, a sense of calm fell 
over me as I thought 'Silly goof! This is not the end of the world, 
you made choices, and you would have made the same 
choices all over again.' Even though I was floating into a more 
spiritual outlook on the situation I also prayed no friends came 
by, I was in no mood for light chit-chat. 

Fucking Finally! 
(Pardon my language folks, I really don't have such a potty 
mouth, around my parents I never curse) I watched my girl's 
black convertible come into view. Nikki looked very upset and 
anxious as she walked up the sidewalk at a very fast clip, that 
queasy feeling had returned to my stomach as well. 

"Well," I sigh, adding a slight shrug and faintly fling my hands 
into the air, "It's out there now." I couldn't help but give an 
exhausted but dazed smile. Nikki slows down her pace and 
stops about a foot away, she looks down at where I am sitting 
and let's her shoulders slump a little, she also looks emotionally 
drained. Expressions can convey a lot, we communicate so 
much via body language, it's just something that's always been 
there between us, a light nod, wink, smile, tilt of the head and 
we can make or alter plans very quickly. (It also makes us a 
super team on the soccer field that we read each other so well!)

Some long black hair falls down around her high cheekbones 
and like the silly ditz I am I become distracted in all of her 
beauty. With her dark complexion and almost black eyes it's 
easy for Nik to generate the most menacing of looks, you would 
think this would be one of those times. But I know better and 
observe a faint smile moving into the corners of her mouth.  
Nikki's gentle, loving, kindness towards me is amazing. Still 
silent, her left hand stretches toward where I sit, I raise my own 
hand and we grip fingers, she gives a slight tug and I stand up. 
My girlfriend steps in to give me this strong hug from head to 
toe. I feel the warmth of her mouth on my cheek "As long as we 
are together everything will be ok." She whispers. My spirit and 
confidence are back! Seeing her and being with her makes me 
suddenly realize why we are doing all of this.

Also I think her slight Portuguese accent has some hypnotizing 
affect on me, but that's a whole other theory.


**********


Okay, have to get back to work! Grrr! Tending to my boyfriend, 
yeah remember him? What you thought all of that was 
suddenly history? Not even close! Dale and I were/are seriously 
involved. I called Dale the next day and wanted to talk, I told 
him I really loved him and....and....oh hell I don't know.

"Damn right it's all your fault!" He snapped back into the phone, 
phew he still sounded really mad. You think after 24hrs he 
would have cooled off.

"Meet me in the outdoor commons area? By that bench we...." I 
didn't even get a chance to finish, he just snapped back at me, 
"I know where it is!" and then  *CLICK* 

Wait what just happened?

Did he hang up on me? He did!

That punk hung up on me! He has never come close to doing 
that! GRRRR!! I snap my phone shut and clench it in my fist 
and have the urge to smash it against the wall, but can't afford 
a new one so I don't. Instead I turn around and punch my fist 
down into my mattress. 

Oh he's asking for trouble now, he better 'check' that attitude of 
his!


**********


'This is not appropriate' I thought looking in the mirror. Knowing 
I was going to meet Dale I started to think I should wear 
something more somber, like sweat pants and some old 
sweatshirt. 'Don't be ridiculous' my little devil chided, 'You wear 
what ever you want to wear, after all you have to live your life!' 
and I sort of agreed with her, but I knew Dale would initially be 
mislead into thinking one thing, only to ultimately learn 
something totally different, and thus become furious. Just hang 
in there, you will see what I mean.  

Well he was already there and wow he looks kind of handsome 
and sexy when he's all worked up and angry. He sees me 
coming and looks away, then leans forward and starts clinching 
his hands together. Normally he always stands to greet me but 
I'm giving him some slack on manners right now, but he better 
not push it. A part of me (still in-denial) wanted this whole thing 
to blow over and then Dale and I could go back to dating, Rob 
and Nikki could patch things up, and then Nikki and I can 
continue or secret life of romance! But that's not likely to 
happen now as I stand looking down at this wonderful guy I've 
hurt. It's all too real and none of my little sarcastic comments, 
or taking a hard-stance will make it 'all better'. I take off my 
sunglasses, "Hi." I say quietly.

"Hey." He responds and then takes a couple of glances over at 
me "Wow, you look really beautiful, you always look sexy and 
beautiful."

"Thank you," I say solemnly and move the palm of my right 
hand over my white form-fitting, short (maybe too short) cotton 
mini skirt, it stops above mid thigh, but shows off my great legs. 
It is kind of tight so I had to wear a very tiny thong. I also wore a 
low v-cut lightweight, sleeveless, gray sweater that really shows 
off my very nice cleavage and toned arms. I watch him shake 
his head back and forth which piqued my curiosity, "What? 
What is it?" He looks like he wants to say something.

Dale nervously wrings his hands together and leans forward to 
rest his elbows on his knees, "Is that how you dress up for 
Nikki?"

I didn't feel offended by his question, it sounded like something 
born out of curiosity more then him trying to make an offensive 
poke. I quietly sit down next to him and decided to offer up a 
sincere response, "Sometimes."

He seemed to think for a minute, "I've always found the thought 
of two girls being together as a turn on, like a lot of guys do I 
guess, but now that's its happened to someone I love and how 
its jeopardizing our relationship, it makes me sick to my 
stomach. I don't want to share you with anyone, not another 
guy or girl."

I smiled just a little, it felt good to hear and I reached over 
gripping Dale's leg "I'm so sorry."

He looked right at me "So where does this go from here? I 
thought I would have made my own decision about 'us' but I 
guess I can't stand the thought of loosing you." 

Crap, damn, hell, crud! A direct question! Little wheels start 
spinning in my brain, *sputter* Oh come on! *splat* nothing! I 
know the choice I have to make but the words aren't coming 
out, it's like I want to hang on just a little bit longer to what we 
have. My eyes well up with tears and I guess he can see the 
pain written all over my face as I hear him take a deep breath, 
then his left hand reaches over and grips my right as he goes to 
stand up. I stand up next to him and he looks into my eyes 
pulling me close against the front of his body. "Right now I don't 
care what your answer is, I love you too much, whatever you 
are going thru I am not letting go of you, I want you too badly to 
let anyone get in the way." He starts to cry some and I start to 
cry. I have never met another man that I so emotionally and 
physically wanted to be with! I bow my head against his 
shoulder and collect my self while his hands stroke the back of 
my head and shoulders.

"Let's go back to my place." He says and I just follow, we walk 
to his car holding and hugging the whole way. I know he wants 
things to be like they were and part of me does too. His 
manners are back in perfect form as he opens the passenger 
side door, yet I have to carefully sit butt first into the seat, knees 
together, and move my feet into the foot-well of the car so I 
don't flash anyone because of my short skirt. Dale is taking 
careful note of all of this "Damn Corbin what a fucking sexy 
body! You really rock that outfit." I blush three shades of red 
"Thank you."

But as with any relationship in turmoil things quickly change 
and so did the pleasantries when we got back to his apartment. 
He handed me a glass of wine, sat down next to me and got 
right back into things "Are you and Nikki having sex?" he simply 
blurted that out and then took a deep drink from his own glass.

I wasn't totally surprised by this initial line of questioning as 
Dale's primary focus in life (second being Football) is to have 
sex with me. I still wanted to storm out but instead I 
straightened my back and fired right back "Yes we are." 
 
His strong jaw line clenched and unclenched a few times as he 
went back to blankly studying the contents of his glass, he 
looked like he was going to have an aneurism "So you're 
having sex with her, but not me? I know you think I'm being 
immature about this but what about all your talk about waiting 
for marriage Corbin?" He looks me dead in the eyes, "I guess 
that doesn't count where two girls are concerned?"

"Yes I know, this subject is very important to you!" I snap.

"I just mean...." He sighs slumping his shoulders forward his 
left hand nervously massages his forehead for a few seconds.

"Oh I know what you mean," I want kick him in the shin, hard! I 
shift on the couch in an agitated manner, tugging at the hem of 
my short skirt.

"I'm sorry but you are 'my girlfriend' Corbin! I think it's relevant 
that I know who you are having sex with, even if we are not 
having sex!" Dale buries his head into his hands. I just sit and 
fiddle with my purse while looking down at my lap.

He did have some validity to his questions, but I was not going 
to go into much detail, "Just very recently Dale." I said in a soft, 
quiet tone as if that answer helps at all, but I felt the need to 
say something.

Slowly his body reclined back against the sofa as his hands 
drew away from his face, he looked exhausted, "How long has 
it been going on?" 

I looked back down at my lap and took a deep breath, "We 
started becoming romantically involved a few weeks before you 
and I met, back when Nikki and I first met at Soccer tryouts."

"So this was going on before you and I started dating?" Dale 
asked but in a tone that bespoke a new type of confusion.

"You almost sound relieved?" I give him a sly, narrow glance 
from the side, watching him sit up a little more.

"All last night I kept beating myself up, wondering if I had 
pushed you away, if you fell out of love with me, what did I do 
wrong that would make you want to turn to someone else and 
now you tell me it was there all along, before we started dating. 
Not sure what to think." Dale stopped talking and leaned 
forward resting his elbows on his knees. He lowered his head 
and I couldn't help but reach over and run my fingers thru his 
light brown wavy hair. 

"Your not going to leave her, are you?" Dale moans almost in 
defeat, my left hand slowly pulls away.

"No Dale." That short statement felt pure, honest and 
resounded deep into my soul as a conviction of my beliefs. 

'No Dale' Nikki and I will never leave one another. The finality 
of that statement echoed within me, much like the way you wait 
for a rock to hit the bottom of a deep well.

"And Rob? What about him? Does he know?" Dale suddenly 
looked up like he might be catching me off guard, but I sat 
unwavering and my eyes coolly returned his inquiry.

"Yes Nikki told Rob yesterday." 

Dale's reaction was sudden and alarming, he bolted upright 
and marched into the kitchen to pour himself another drink 
before pacing back into the living room in front of me, where he 
began to rant his list of complaints in-between sips on his 
drink.....
"Of course Rob knows! Perfect timing on the part of you two."
"You both could have told us a hell of a lot sooner!"   
"Our families and friends all have to be told now. Fuck!"
"But I guess you two thought of that or whatever!"
"You and Nikki seem to have thought of everything, how 
convenient!"
"You should have stayed out of Soccer, but I guess Softball and 
Basketball is even worse." that last comment he sort of 
mumbled.

"What?" I leaned forward raising an eyebrow "Are you actually 
blaming Sports for this?"

"Oh come on Corbin," he waived his arms out to his side, "you 
know, girls that get involved in sports are more inclined to have 
a bisexual experience, or become lesbians!"

"You're an idiot!" I snap and stand up to walk toward the door, 
"What am I suppose to do? Never play sports then?!"

"Wait, wait! I'm sorry, look," I hear Dale set his glass down and 
come up behind me, he touches me on the shoulder "That was 
out of line, I'm sorry." he stops talking, at first I thought he was 
in some deep thought, thinking about some relevant comment, 
but when I turn around he suddenly looks up at me like he has 
totally lost his train of thought.

"What is it?" My voice concerned.

"That skirt is so tight, are you even wearing any underwear?"

Nuclear explosion in my brain! "Fucker!" I yell and shove him 
hard on his shoulders forcing him several steps back, "Yes I am 
wearing underwear! What the hell is your problem! I always 
wear underwear! I'm not some piece of trash that goes without!" 
looking at him like he has lost his mind! I can't believe he has 
lost total concentration in only a few seconds!

"I'm sorry, I couldn't tell."

"Only tramps don't wear underwear! But maybe that's the kind 
of girl you prefer dating! I guess I need to wear some old sweat 
pants and sweat shirt to have a half way normal conversation 
with you!"

"Yeah, but I'd still have to look at your beautiful face." Dale 
says.

"Then call me on the phone to talk!" I grab for the doorknob.

"Forget about the subject of intimacy and sex, forget it! Please! 
But listen you broke the trust by dating someone behind my 
back!" Dale waved his hands out to the side and his look turned 
to one of genuine hurt.

I took a deep breath and looked down at my sandals to think for 
a second "Yes, you are right I am to blame for not being 
honest, I lied to you about where I was going and what I was 
doing with Nikki." My voice somber as I turned to look up, I 
could feel my eyes filling up with tears, Dale seemed really 
shaken and looked pale. There it is, a feeling that you are on 
the verge of doing something very traumatic and life altering, 
Dale and I could feel the nervous energy that is everywhere 
around us now.

"That's where you're going from here right? That's why you're 
all dressed up because you have a date with Nikki." Dale's 
voice cracks and tears stream down his cheeks. 

The dark reality has shut everything pleasant in life out from 
around us and our future begins to shatter apart, there is 
nothing anymore but the dreaded empty void, a void which 
consumes your insides and starts to open up, all hope feels 
lost. That is the moment I am in.

"Yes." I say and slightly nod, "But you know what Dale, all I 
ever hoped for was a simple life where love was concerned, not 
much, just to fall in love with some man and I did, and it was 
you!" I smile and look right into his eyes, but my lips and chin 
quiver badly, "But something else happened and I don't know 
the best way to figure any of this out, I made a lot of mistakes I 
know, but I have to follow my heart." My right hand, seemingly 
on its own accord, reaches into my small purse and finds the 
key at the bottom. I had to get this done, I can't pretend its not 
going to happen.

"Here I want to give this back." I notice my hand is trembling 
severely as I pull it from my purse, the look of shock and 
despair on his face tore me pieces.

"You already had it off your keychain." He states in a tone that 
sounds deathly frail, he noticed that, I had taken the time to 
remove it beforehand. He carefully takes it from my hand and 
slowly turns around to walk down the hall to his bedroom. Not a 
word, but closes his door with firm thud.

"Hey Corbin!" the voice startles me as I step out toward the 
parking lot. It was one of the neighbors Frank, I barely 
acknowledge his presence. "You ok?" he asks, obviously I look 
very distressed, no hiding that fact.

"Yeah thanks just overwhelmed with stuff right now." And I 
wave my goodbye as I turn to quickly walk to my, DRAT! DANG 
IT! My flipping, freaking car is back at the Park! SHIT! 'No good, 
mother, freaking, blasted.' I curse under my breath as I dig my 
cell phone out and call Sharon to come pick me up. She drops 
what she is doing and says 'I'll be right over' Good ol' Sharon, 
she lives for these dramas.

I hear a door open and close behind me, here comes Dale. I 
didn't want any more emotional discussions.

"I forgot I drove you, come on I'll take you." Dale points to his 
car, but I just stand there.
 
"What?" He pauses, "Now you can't ride with me?"

"Sharon's coming." I said and look over at him, his eyes are 
really bloodshot. I have to look away before I loose my 
composure, but the tears are already coming down. "I didn't 
want to bother you." And just stand with my arms folded across 
my chest looking out across the parking lot.

"My God, your no bother Corbin."

"You don't have to stand out here and wait with me, she won't 
be long." I say in an almost monotone way.

"I want to, and I'm not going to let you stand out here by 
yourself."

Just then I get a glimpse of Sharon's car and glance over at 
Dale, he couldn't even look me in the eye, he just rocked back 
and forth on his feet, hands shoved back into his pockets.

"I'll talk to you later Dale." I said and stepped off the curb.

"Okay."

I suddenly felt light headed and had to take a few deep breaths 
when I got into the car, I didn't even remember opening the 
door. A horrible cutting feeling was tearing thru my heart as 
Sharon's car backed out of the space. I watched Dale standing 
out there alone. I leaned forward a little and braced my head 
against my hands, Sharon tried to calm me down but soon she 
was crying too.

Oh gheesh it was one big blubber fest!


*********


Everyone thought we were *IT*, we were going to have THE 
big wedding with so many memories and plans having been 
made, so many nights we laid in bed and talked about the 
future, the blast of going to parties, football games and on and 
on.

I truly, dearly, love Dale and he me, so why didn't we have our 
happy ending?


**********


"Your nuts!" I said and hung up on Nikki's boyfriend when he 
called demanding I never see Nikki again. I guess he figures 
that if Nikki wouldn't break up with me then he could 'order me' 
into doing the deed, well you can just forget about that ever 
happening!
 
Rob kept pressuring Nikki and I into breaking up, while Dale 
tried the other approach, killing me with kindness (guilt) into 
getting back together. Sharon made matters worse by bad 
mouthing anyone that said something mean about me or Nikki 
(Sharon has Nikki's back now? And is even super nice and 
supportive towards us! Miracles do happen!). Most of the girls 
on the soccer team did not act too surprised, mostly they were 
like 'About time you two came out of the closet', what the hell! I 
am NOT coming out of a closet, I just happen to be in love with 
another girl! But I like guys too. 

I guess the thing that really blew me and Nikki away was the 
insensitive questions, phone calls, messages, and emails. All 
the single people (guys and girls) wanting to go out, guys first 
offering their sympathies and a warm shoulder to cry on, before 
slipping in the 'Want to get a coffee, or drink?' The trickle soon 
turned into an avalanche of dating proposals.

HELL NO!

The whole situation was really messing with Dale's head, or as 
he would explain it: 'My ex-Girlfriend is now dating her best 
friend, another girl.'


**********


So it's a Saturday night and I am pacing the apartment again, 
Nikki has to work tonight, she works part time as a waitress at 
this really nice Restaurant. I had plenty of friends asking me to 
go out but didn't feel like company and I already re-studied all 
my class material until I can babble it in my sleep backwards.

So on a whim I decided to hoof it down to one of the bars on 
Campus because I needed to get the hell out of this apartment! 
And what the hell the bar was literally a block away! I should 
just sit at home and chill out to some music....but I had a million 
thoughts swirling around my brain as I strolled down the 
sidewalk. 
 
"Hey tubby" I say to the bouncer at the door, no I'm not being a 
smart-ass, his nickname was 'Tubby' because he was a bit of a 
lard ass, and that WAS his nickname. 
 
"Good to see you, how are you doing Corbin?" He asked.
 
"Okay." I sigh.
 
"Three bucks." He says.
 
"Three bucks? Cover tonight?" I pause in shock. I don't like 
paying cover to get into any place. "What's up with that? Am I 
not showing enough cleavage tonight?" I smirk and wave my 
hands out to the side.
 
Tubby just laughs out loud "There's a band tonight, sorry." He 
groans.
 
"They should pay me three bucks to listen to that fingernails-on-
blackboard music." I mumble while fishing into my pockets. He 
normally would give me a pass, letting me in for free, but 
Management was cracking down on the freebies. So he takes 
my three bucks stamps my hand and I walk in. Yipee!
 
"Oh sorry about you and Dale." He says which causes me to 
smile a little and then asks "Hey are you and Nikki really an 
item?" 

Now that caused me to freeze and give a sharp look over my 
shoulder, not sure how to respond or react, I guess hearing 
people openly talk about Nikki and I dating will take some 
getting used to.

"Yeah we are dating." and nod.

"Good Lord!" His eyes get wide as he leans back some and 
seems to catch himself getting ready to say something, maybe 
inappropriate, "Sorry I just mean, well, you and Nikki are such 
hot girls, it's that....I dunno." 

I can't help but smile and give him a slight wave of the hand 
"It's okay." and walk into the club. Oh I know there has been 
plenty of male salivating about Nikki and I dating.

I took about five steps and stop, standard protocol, I always do 
that....survey the scene and decide if I am going to leave or 
stay. So I'm standing there in my most fashionable attire: Old 
pair of really kick ass black boots, faded jeans that flare out 
slightly at the bottom, and a button down dark blue silk shirt, 
long sleeve cause it was chilly that night. Funny but I get the 
most compliments when I'm in my jeans, which are nothing 
special, faded and a little form fitting but I've been told it's the 
way they tend to be a bit 'snug' around my butt. So yeah I bet 
they look good on me. But now I want to cry! Because Dale 
always used to say how beautiful I looked in these jeans, and 
would always compliment how great my ass looked in them. 
Nikki said the exact same thing when she first saw me in 
these!!! My god I am having a total emotional melt down 
suddenly!

Quickly I look down and blink my eyes, force myself not to cry, 
and take a deep breath before looking back around the room. 

(Now let me pause here and explain a few things about my 
state of mind, outside of Dale and Nikki. If people, guys and 
girls, had a problem with me I suppose it was somewhat 
justified, I was coming up on my Senior year and I could be full 
of my self. I could out weight-lift any girl (and a lot of guys), 
almost out run any girl (and a lot of guys) on campus (except 
some of those track girls they are damn fast and the then there 
are the long distance runners). Add to that I used can do 
gymnastics, could be a terror on the soccer field, and used to 
date one of the best looking guys at School, and now was 
dating probably the best looking girl in School. And then the 
icing on the cake was that I was almost making straight A's! 
Soooooo basically I thought I was HOT stuff, and why not, it 
took me years of socially struggling to reach where I was while 
still maintaining my self-respect and dignity. Maybe I was a 
snotty, arrogant, know it all, jock with a chip on my shoulder, 
but now that I think about it, what the hell do they know! Screw 
them! I don't even care! ;) And I'm blonde so NAH!)

Blondes have more fun because we are more fun!!
 
So where were we? Oh yeah, I'm scanning the bar and some 
guys are now scanning me, come on you goofs show some 
discretion! Plain as day I can see you elbowing each other and 
nodding in my direction. I do my little awkward shuffle of my 
feet and flip some of my hair over my right shoulder before 
stuffing my hands into my pockets. I see a few groups of friends 
waving me over to join them and I almost did, but what I caught 
sight of next caused my stomach to turn for there was Tiffany. 
(Don't remember her? Well you'll have to go back and brush 
up, she's had her sights set on Dale for years now, never mind 
the fact Dale and I were dating!)

To top things off 'Tiffany' was what my parents almost called 
me at birth, did I mention that? How ironic, so I'm looking 
across the room at my alter ego (In that Tiffany and I were such 
opposites.) My face pinched into an uncomfortable expression 
as I kind of block out the band, loud patrons, and cigarette 
smoke and try to come to terms with the thought that this 
loudmouth bitch is making big plans to swoop in and make Dale 
'her man'. I want to puke! And punch her in the face!
 
Now I don't feel like staying and do about-face thinking 'I will go 
back to my apartment and just chill' wait for Nikki to come over 
when she gets off work.
 
"You okay?" Tubby asks as I reappear just a minute later.
 
"Yeah, too tired." I groan.

"Here!" He calls out and hands me back my three bucks "No 
sense, you didn't stay."

"Thanks Tubby." I sigh and try to give him a sweet smile but I 
know it comes out being sad. I slowly stroll down the sidewalk 
thinking about how to piece this all together. Maybe there is no 
piecing it together there is just letting things find there own fit 
and not to force things.
 

**********


I used to think that exercise was a good way to blow off 
steam/vent, you know, but that can't happen if people do NOT 
follow the rules!

"Why whatever do you mean Corbin? Please give us an 
example!"

Gladly!

The one thing that grates on my nerves most of all are the guys 
and girls that feel the need to DROP the dumbbells on the floor. 
There are signs posted all around the gym "Please do not drop 
the weights" (Those signs are printed in clear English letters by 
the way...not 'wingdings' font.) But apparently that does not 
apply to these knuckleheads (or they can not read), they huff-
and-puff and have about ten aneurisms trying to get those giant 
dumbbells into the air, and when they've exhausted every last 
ounce of strength from their body, they go totally lax, letting the 
big weights flop to the ground with jarring THUMP!
 
Instead of struggling to do just one-more-rep, I use that last bit 
of energy to gently set the weights down on the ground. It's 
called respecting the rules of the establishment, but respect in 
this society is becoming a foreign term to most people.
 
I think I've made myself very clear on this!


**********