******************** I did something one weekend that really caused a stir. But I need to give you the setup: I was taking a computer class, I hated it, but it was very basic, very easy, but a core requirement, you know. I am just your basic user, someone actually speaking about the inner workings of computers can send me into an instant coma. Well anyway the point of me bringing this up is because that class is where I met Chris. So there I was sitting in my 'puter class when we were told to pair up with someone. The project we would be working on would require a partner over the next several weeks. So I am sitting there in my standard attire of sandals, running shorts, and tee shirt. So anyway I look to my right and there is Tony (he was a real ass, tried to dress cool, wore stupid caps on backwards, and talked to me non-stop and a cocky-frat-boy *groan*). Now to my left was Chris. Chris is the kind of guy that gets lost in a crowd, wears glasses (could use an updated pair) and is shy, very shy around girls. He was a Freshmen while I was Junior, I could also tell he still had some residual High School issues, like he was not popular in school, had a small circle of friends, and most definitely did not have a girlfriend. So I see Tony turn to me and open his mouth, I know what's coming, he is going to ask to partner up with me for this project, well the hell with that! I had other ideas and jerk my head to my left and whack Chris on his right shoulder with the back of my hand and say, "You want to be my partner?" Poor kid about jumps out of his seat. Both Tony and Chris were stunned, but for very different reasons. Tony was dumbstruck because his plan was totally shattered when I blew him off. Chris was dumbstruck like he was having some panic attack and literally sat there for a second (Come on you can do it kid, just pronounce that word 'Yes' I know you want to). I think when a guy like Chris is confronted by a girl asking them to do something together they panic. His lips seemed to open and close several times as if he was trying to manually start his vocal chords when finally; "Yeah....okay." He was now staring at me, still staring at me, weird staring, gheesh I hope I didn't make a mistake here. Boy-oh-boy was Tony pissed! He also thought I was playing hard to get too and after class walked right up to me in front of Chris inviting me to a Frat party (BTW - I was dating Dale and everyone knew this, but guys like Tony didn't care). Chris was not a member of any Fraternity or sports, or anything I think, he just went to class and that was it. I'm like three inches taller then Chris in sandals and I am in a hell of a lot better shape. Poor guy could use some gym time, put some muscle on his lanky body. Not a bad looking guy over all, dark brown hair, parted on the side and cut short. His clothes were also a little bit outdated, but let's not even go there because I am probably the bigger fashion victim. "Did you still want to get together on the project?" Chris asked. "Yeah absolutely!" I just smiled but he still looked at me funny like from the way he was clutching his backpack and looked so stiff and nervous. "I'm Corbin by the way." Just to formally introduce myself although we already knew each other's names. I gave him a firm shake of the hand, had to be careful as I just about crushed his poor hand, he must have been very nervous cause his hands were a bit damp, a little clammy maybe. So would it be over the top to think he was a little star struck? Maybe, I mean in his eyes I must have been this popular, athletic Soccer Team member who is dating some big shot Football player with a large circle of friends. That might be his view of me, but in my eyes I was just a dorky girl who liked lifting weights, everything else was excess baggage. "You have plans tomorrow night? We could meet at the library?" I asked. "Tomorrow's Friday, you sure?" Chris seemed to almost gasp. "Uh yeah." I raised my eyebrows like I am actually not clueless, "I know it's Friday." I smile a little. Maybe he thought I automatically had plans for a Friday night, wow this guy is so nervous around me, it's kind of cute...for now but might get annoying if he keeps it up. Actually I did have plans, but Dale and Sharon would have to just pitch a fit. Now let's clear the air about something. I did have some ulterior motive here, to stir some shit up! You see even though Dale and I were very serious I had a few other guys keeping tabs on me even though I was NOT dating any of them. 'Tabs' as in where I went, what parties I attended, when I went out with my girlfriends, and so on. And then *POOF* those guys just happened to show up at the same place. I definitely would not classify them as stalkers but these guys wanted to socialize with me, date me; all a method to the madness you see. So they would coordinate their social attacks, the same crap that women do. Oh yeah I had some women chasing me as well (another ramble for another time). So my ulterior motive was to send all these people in my immediate and distant social circles into a tizzy by hanging out a little with Chris. But Chris is a decent, nice guy so I wanted to be careful with his feelings, as long as he doesn't turn out to be some kind of freak! ********** Nikki and I had met for another one of our secret little rendezvous, yeah we thought we were so clever, going to a movie, or going to some place way outside of the College area to hang out and have some time together. We had just picked up a big ice cream cone and sat down on a secluded Park bench when I told her about my little class project and how Chris was sending shockwaves thru the social channels. We sat side by side, facing toward one another while I held the cone up, we would alternate taking a small bite or lick from the melting vanilla scoops. "Be careful Corbin." Nikki warned, "Don't hurt the guys feelings." "I wouldn't do that." I pouted, "I'm not mean like that." "Not intentionally, but just please make sure he doesn't fall too hard for you." Nikki smirked and then took a lick, held her tongue out with a nice amount of vanilla sitting on the tip. No invitation was needed and I smiled. I felt all warm inside as I leaned in and sucked the ice cream off her tongue, and sucked some more. I did the same and Nikki turned her sultry expression on full blast that radiates pure erotic, sex appeal and proceeded to slowly suck every bit of ice cream off my tongue. "Who the fuck needs a spoon." Nikki moaned and we started to kiss long and deep, then we got carried away, coming up with new and creative ways to finish off the ice cream cone. We kept an eye out for any unwanted visitors, all clear! So back to kissing! ********** "Who's Chris?" Was the question that I got peppered with by everyone. "My Computer Lab partner." I would say casually and that was usually the end of it. I was amazed at how quickly word spread. That Friday night I met Chris. I was on time and he was early but he had this twitchy look going on like thinking I might not show up, Lord this poor guy has either been used/played by girls, picked on in school, or both, and many more. He constantly had his defenses up but more accurately he was in 'survival mode' all the time. Well I'm going to help build his confidence up! I think? :) We will see. So we find a study room to work in and begin mapping out our project. I felt bad because I found out he lives at home and had to drive all the way into school to meet me at the library. "Hey I could meet you at your house if you want?" I suggested and his face got flushed 'Please tell me he's not going into cardiac arrest.' I began to worry. "You sure?" he asked, voice barely above a whisper. "Yeah, it's only fair, cause you drove all the way out here." "It's no problem." He said meekly. All the while we worked on our project I could tell he was distracted. Looking at me, my legs, arms and chest, 'checking me out' if you will. I don't think he was even focusing on my muscles yet, he was still amazed an attractive girl was interested in talking with him, sitting only a couple of feet from him. (*snort*giggle*chuckle* I called myself 'attractive', how dorky, sorry I'll try and reign in the self-appreciation? Is that the right phrase?) So we spent the last half hour, till almost 10:00pm, talking about a little bit of everything, my sports activities, High School, some politics. I thought he was at ease now but that got blown out of the water when we stepped out onto the sidewalk and I said "So write down directions to your house and I'll come over some time this week." He couldn't whip that paper out fast enough, it was pretty interesting, the way his hand was shaking a little as he wrote it down. Great the 'spaz' Chris has returned. It was a good thing he was starting to get 'at ease' around me, because as we walked out of class it was about 11:50 AM so I casually said "Hey, I'm meeting a friend for lunch, want to join us?" "Okay." He said but that meek tone has to go, too bad I can't shock (or physically shake) it out of his system, but some things take time. So we're walking down the sidewalk towards this small bistro I like to eat at, and I wave to a few friends, I've got one eye out for Chris as we walk and he seems to be doing okay, I really shouldn't worry so much about him, he's a bright kid but very introverted. But suddenly I'm focusing on just one person, she's a dark haired beauty and our faces break out into big beautiful smiles at almost the same time, our arms outstretch as I pull the beautiful girl into a tight hug. We give a lingering kiss on each other's cheeks but still keep our arms interlocked, sorry I can't help it, we have no self-control at times. "Chris, this is my dearest friend in the world, Nikki." I smile, "Nikki, this is Chris." "Hi Chris." Nikki smiles and I observe how Chris is slipping into a state of shock, I'm thinking 'Just relax kid be yourself', but he is now lost in beauty-shock, Nikki has that affect on men, men literally break their necks to turn and look at Nikki as she walks past them. ********** Initially I think it might have been a bad decision to go over Chris' house it was definitely making this look more then it was. I remember pulling up into the driveway of this rancher style brick house, pretty nice, well maintained yard (foreshadowing here folks of my gardening days to come) It was getting late, sun was setting behind the line of trees and then I catch site of this car rolling down the road, but now it's slowing down and its a car load of guys, 'What the fuck are you looking at?' I stop and watch to see what their problem is, they creep on by looking at me like either they just 'like the view' or maybe they know Chris and having some girl, like me, showing up at his house is a non-occurrence all together. 'Yes take a good look fella's, this tall blonde is heading up to your buddy Chris' house, but not for what you think, but go ahead and fantasize.' Now why did I think this could have been a bad decision? Well for starters his parents greet me like some visiting dignitary; warm smiles, chatty, very nice parents in all. I actually wanted to say 'Hold on I am NOT his girlfriend, we are just doing a project together.' Gheesh before I left that night I think they were planning our wedding or something. So while I was over there we spent most of the time working in his bedroom. I didn't stumble upon any embarrassing items/articles. Chris did start to act a little awkward around me at times because I am not sure if he was properly coping with the vibe I was putting out. I had not given him any romantic or flirtatious cues, but I know how it is, a guy's little sex drive is always running, always, so I may be sitting back talking about finishing this paper but he is looking at my legs, my butt, wondering what it would be like to kiss me, hold me, what color my underwear is, what my bra size is (do I wear a front or back hook), and so on, get my drift? Good, moving right along. ********** Our next meeting I invited him back to my apartment. Yeah I skipped a short period of time where Sharon and I got an apartment together, out with the the old dorm room. That's right, Sharon and I, not Nikki. Nikki and I living together? Are you people on drugs! If Nikki and I were just platonic friends, then fine. Never mind it's complicated. So Chris was a nervous wreck in my apartment, not sure what to say or do it seemed, he fumbled with his thoughts, although he was in far better emotional shape now then he was first around me. He seemed sharp enough to realize I wasn't putting out any physical vibes, so he didn't try and put the moves on me. (Hey! I have an idea, how about you just relax and be yourself, how about that!) "You want a beer? wine? water? Maybe some milk?" I laughed a little at my milk comment, he smiled and ended up accepting a beer, he was also buzzed by the end of the beer so I was afraid he might have to crash on the couch. I gave him the grand tour, and he was very intrigued by all my sports stuff, pictures, I told him most of my medals were at home where my Mom and Dad proudly put them on display. He took a very keen interest in my gymnastic photos, big surprise there <rolling eyes> most guys do. "Wow, didn't know you did gymnastics. You look amazing!" He blushed but kept staring at the photos, I studied his expression, watched as his eyes drifted to another set of photos of me doing a split handstand. "Wow" He sighed and leaned in, the beer was making him verbally bold now, he still had that awkward self-awareness, hence the sudden blushing. But he kept gawking at the photos. 'What's not to stare at?' Dale once said, 'Beautiful girl in a tight leotard, your body bending in all sorts of poses.' I must admit while looking at the photo, I did look pretty spectacular in my leotard while getting ready to dismount from the balance beam. "That's ok" I sigh and walk up next to him and give his shoulder a reaffirming grip, "I get that reaction from all the guys." and just give him a big knowing smile. "I'm sure you do." Chris smiled and shook his head. This shy thing is getting on my nerves, Oh well. Hey listen to me will you talking all big and stuff like I never used to be an introvert. I tried another ice-breaker "Hey look I'm even more toned now!" I blurted out and stepped back, pulled up the hem of my cargo shorts and stuck out my left, then right leg, flexing each one while rotating my hips. I was getting very comfortable around Chris and was letting my guard down, but Chris just froze, mouth slightly open, he was such a cutie! And a nice guy! Uhm, maybe doing that flexing thing was a mistake? "Okay, shows over." I say with a little smirk and drop the hem of my shorts. Chris shook his head and sighed, then took a quick sip of his beer, "Didn't mean to stare like that, just you're such a beautiful, girl and in such great shape." "It's okay Chris." I reach out and shake his shoulder lightly. He is so anxiety ridden that teasing and joking sometimes just flies right over his head. "Why did you stop gymnastics? Your 'form', I guess that's what it's called, looks perfect." He went back to studying a few other pictures. "Yeah well," I chuckled, "I also fell down a lot, besides, I like the team dynamics of soccer a lot more." "So, are you uhm....." He hesitated. "Spit it out will you! I won't bite your head off." I shrugged and waved my arms out a little. "Are you still just as flexible?" He raised his hand holding the beer and faintly gestured to a picture of me doing split-jump, or could have been a split-leap, anyway at the height of the jump you have to have your legs in perfect 180 degrees of separation (sounds very official doesn't it?) "Absolutely" I smile and take two steps back, I kick my shoes off and let my socks slide across the wooden flooring until I am sitting in a full split. "Ta-da!" I say and raise my hands into the air as if to emphasis 'no big deal', I then showoff some and reach my left hand over to touch my right toe, bring my chest down to the floor to perform a sweeping motion from right to left to touch my left toes with my right hand, "Still just as flexible." And go to stand back up. "Good lord." Chris gawked and his jaw stayed slack somewhat. He looked back over at the dresser stopped at another picture. "That must be Dale?" Chris briefly gestured toward a large picture of us on the beach during Spring Break, next to that another picture of a large group of us at some big social event/party/whatever. I just smiled and touched one of the pictures, getting momentarily lost as I felt a wave of joy, and sadness, wash over me. "Yep, that's my man" I say proudly. "You two make a great looking couple." Chris said and gave me a quick glance. I took a deep breath my smile faded a little, "That's what everyone says." "But I have very conservative values, if you know what I mean." I gave him a playful look raising one eyebrow. Got nothing in return, just a blank clueless stare, maybe the beer was clouding his concentration. The constant distractions of being alone with me, in my bedroom, also kept him from focusing on what I was saying. I know the look, guys are thinking about everything, except what is coming out of a girl's mouth. "I'm a virgin." I say bluntly and lower my head, awaiting his reaction. His eyes go wide and this amazing look flashes across his face, like one of relief maybe? Chris pauses, "That's great Corbin, well I mean, I'm glad your sticking to your values, you just hear so many things these days, like no one keeps anything sacred anymore." and kind of shrugs. "So very true." I say with a faint smile, "So what about you? Are you experienced?" he doesn't get my reference to the Jimi Hendrix song, he just gets this sour expression on his face and looks away with a shrug. "Sorry I just thought we were kind of opening up a little, didn't mean to pry and put you on the spot." I touch his shoulder a little more tenderly. "Nah, it's ok, just that virginity for girls is seen as a blessing, but for guys it's like some shameful curse." That's all he needed to say, the somber tone in his voice and expression, on the verge of tears even, told me everything. He was a virgin and not by choice, but because he's never been close enough with a girl to get to maybe even second base. "Must be nice, having a large group of friends and being so popular." Chris kept staring at a few more of my photos and I rolled my eyes while consciously trying not to laugh. I really need to get this discussion on to something more uplifting, not to mention he is starting to do what a lot of guys do, so let's stop things right now; "Chris do not put me up on a pedestal, not all of them are friends, more like acquaintances, it just kind of works out that way and it's not something I really pursue or means a heck of a lot to me. I've got a very few close friends and that's really it." I had Chris' full attention now, he seemed much more relaxed now, so I decided to keep talking. "And you see all of those Frat guys," I point to a picture that was taken at a party, "The one's holding up their beer cans and being obnoxious for the camera, don't envy them, they're retards and most of them add little to no value to society." "But you hang out with them and go to their parties." Chris quickly followed up. "No I don't hang with them, Dale is a member of a Fraternity, on the Football Team, and Dale is my boyfriend, therefore I sometimes have to compromise and attend a party or two, or three. But Dale is not this crazy party animal, although when he does get plastered he can get very annoying." I kind of smile as a few images float thru my brain, Dale gets all mushy and sentimental around me when he gets plastered. "Besides!" I suddenly exclaim with a smile and wave my hands in front of me as if presenting myself and he should take notice, "I act the same no matter where I am, I do not suddenly make a personality transformation when I go to parties." "That's a relief." Chris smiled. A loud slamming of the front door causes Chris to jump a little. "I'm home!" Came Sharon's big mouth, the Princess has arrived home! She must announce this every time she walks in. God help poor Chris when he meets Sharon. ********** I was sitting on the edge of my bed while Sharon started in once again on her concerns about the depth of my relationship with Nikki. I could only let out an exhausted moan while shaking my head in despair, "What is it?" "I hear all these rumors, like stuff going on between you and Nikki." "Will you leave that alone already." rolling my eyes. "I'm talking about a reliable source of mine that saw you two lip- locked in a parking lot one night, what the fuck is that all about? Good god Corbin, please tell me your not involved with her romantically." My heart was pounding frantically, but I fought to remain seated and calm, my jaw was clenching as my knees wanted to spastically bounce on the balls of my feet. 'Lip-locked? OMG!' Suddenly everything took on a whole other meaning to hear that people had seen me and Nikki being physical with one another, my head was spinning. My privacy was being invaded, out in the open for people to secretly manipulate and gossip, I felt nauseous. "Sharon," I said, every muscle tensed to remain seated and calm, "Nikki and I are close friends, that's it." "I know you," Sharon said pointing at me, "and I see how your acting and don't you think Dale will freak out if he knew you were fooling around with Nikki like that?" Sharon continued. "Oh God." I moaned and leaned forward, placing my head into my palms. "You think everyone out there is just all wonderfully supportive of you two? Hell no, a lot of guys and girls would love it if you two broke up." Sharon said as she brushed some lint off the front of her dress, but quickly looked back up, "A lot of guys would just love for you to be back in the single scene again." "The single scene?" I made an awful tasting expression, since when was I ever on the single scene, how nasty. "Well that's not going to happen!" I snapped. "Now do you see Corbin? Do you understand what people are hearing and saying?" Sharon folded her arms across her chest. "No I don't see Sharon, screw them....I don't care, let them talk all they want, it wont change anything." I sighed and shook my head in disbelief. "Oh you're so right it won't change a thing." Sharon, ever the perfectionist, adjusted the straps over her shoulders again as she surveyed the hint of cleavage that rose up from the front, of her outfit, and she made another adjustment, "Gossip never infiltrates relationships and causes issues." I am doomed, doomed I say, and my own ignorance helped things along. Oh well, 'Ignorance is bliss' as they say. ********** It was close to the end of the semester and the project was done, finished! A++++++ :) So anyway I suggested a movie as a way to celebrate, I think Chris saw it as a date. Well I did dress-up some, short skirt, low v-cut shirt with some makeup and lipstick. I could tell he seemed awkward around me again, he has no 'moves' or 'cool lines' he just had no confidence around girls. That' okay, I didn't mind towing the line thru our friendship. We pulled up to my apartment complex and I was ready to blurt out my usual 'Thanks for the ride, see ya' later!' and jump out. But I had a moments thought, errrrrr 'oh-no' overload! Blonde brain now attempting to think! *crunch* *grind* *sputter* "Want to come up for a second?" I asked. "Sure." He said and smiled a little. I walked up the stairs and got my keys out, Sharon wasn't home so I didn't have to worry about her. He did a nervous pace around my bedroom until I sat on my bed and folded my left leg over my right. "Can I ask you a personal question?" Chris asked. "Sure, this sounds intriguing!" I said, I was actually giddy with anticipation as Chris was always so polite. The thought of him asking me a personal question really got my curiosity going. "So your still dating Dale, still together?" He began pacing my room a little. "We still date, yes, why?" "Just wondering." He sighed and wouldn't look at me. "Chris is there something you want to ask, just ask, I'm not going to flip out on you." I sighed and stood up to turn my radio on. Actually I might flip-out, you can never tell with me. :) "Would you go out with me? On a date, not just socially as friends." Wow! He really got to the point that time, no beating around the bush. I adjust the volume down on my radio and turned to my left with a smile, for a second he thinks I might say 'yes' and his expression lights up, "You're my friend Chris, and I want it to stay that way." Then his expression went flat, no smile, no frown, he just turned away and reached for one of my trophies on my dresser, tilting it back to read the inscription at the bottom. "That's okay, I know you get asked out by a lot of guys, and like you said, you are still dating Dale." "Chris come here a second." I said softly and sat back down on the bed patting the area next to me with my right hand, indicating it was okay for him to sit next to me. Like walking on egg shells he slowly took a couple of steps and sat down, nervously folding his hands in his lap, then unfolding them, he very nervous. (This is really sad, as a girl I can't extend much affection towards Chris, like a simple hug or some other kind gesture because he might misread the signals. It's like I have to exist on this island and allow only a very few select people in. I know many girls that are not selective at all and are very huggy, touchy, and feely with guys. They don't care and like flirting. I could easily walk up to Dale and start swaying with him to the music on the radio, I'd like to do that with Chris right now, but he would probably faint and get the wrong idea. Which is only more painful.) "Would you say that you are a complicated person emotionally?" I ask. I know that question threw him because it came out of left field, as they say. "Well I suppose so." "And me, do you think I'm complicated?" I asked. "Yeah, all girls are complicated." He sighed and shook his head. "Yeah we are, but does my life seem complicated?" I rephrased the question. "Not sure, but you have sports, lots of friends and a boyfriend, you seem to have a really good time here at school." He shrugged maybe he wanted to say more but was afraid. "I've got a lot of relationship issues right now that are major pain in my butt!" I take my right index finger lean to the left and literally jab it into the side of my right butt. He smiles, I laugh and then he laughs some. "I just don't want you to misunderstand what I'm going to ask you, okay?" "Okay" He said with a look of intense curiosity and I stare at him a few seconds longer, to which he finally nods 'yes'. When I feel like he gets my drift I then move on to my next question; "Have you ever kissed a girl?" He sits stone faced for a second looks a little pale and I think he is even sweating now. So is he going to bullshit me or tell me the truth, he seems to be contemplating something when his lips get really tight, now his whole face looks tense as he looks away, back down to his lap. "Nope." That was it, a simple short, very quick 'Nope'. I think he was expecting me to kick him out of the apartment, but his head slowly comes around as he sees me shift my body on the bed so I am a little more angled towards him. "Now, I want you to turn towards me some, bring your right knee up on the bed, like this..." and I start grabbing and moving his shoulders and push and pull on his legs to set him up. He is looking totally confused as I pretty much move him around like a piece of furniture. "Comfortable?" I ask. "Uh, yeah" he looks as me kind of awkwardly, a nervous smile flashing on his face. With my knees drawn up on the bed my skirt is kind of hiked up my thighs, but that's okay, I don't think I am flashing him with my underwear. But I do notice his eyes looking at my long, muscular legs with a great deal of intensity. Weird, cause now I'm blushing a little as I try and set this up, and he's getting nervous, because he's breathing a bit faster and looks a bit flushed. I take his left hand and pull it over towards me and place it on my shoulder while pulling his right hand down to my hip. Chris doesn't even ask any questions, not a 'Why?', or 'What', or anything, he is just totally trusting me. I think he has a few suspicions but just seems to be totally going with it. "Now, how would you kiss me?" I say with a smile. 'Uh-Oh' he looks like he is going to have a panic attack now! "It's okay." I say and smile some more. I can feel his fingers tense, in fact his whole body has a faint tremble I think, so I better take charge, again. But then slowly he starts to lean in. "Close your eyes." I whisper when he's about an inch from my face. "Sorry" He gasps, "I just wanted to make sure I didn't miss your mouth." I smile and feel his lips on mine for a second, he's got soft lips, but he simply pulls away, now looking and feeling even more stiff. "Like that?" He asks. Wow, he is almost shaking like a leaf now. "Well, not exactly, I mean that was okay, if you're going to kiss your mom or something." "Sorry." He sighs in frustration and for a second looks like he wants to cry. "Hey, hey...." I softly stroke his cheeks with my hands, "Just relax okay. You've heard that song by Aaliyah 'Try Again'?" I ask. "Yeah" "Well....try again!" I smile reassuringly. Slowly he comes in and presses his lips against mine and I whisper into his mouth, "Now relax okay? This is suppose to be pleasurable." And I softly caress his shoulders and arms. "Sorry I'm just nervous." he sighs and I lean away from him, studying his body language. "Just go slow." I say while pulling back some more, "Take your time, I can't speak for all girl's but try and find a complimentary rhythm with your partner and you'll want to softly stroke my arms and back." I smile reassuringly. Normally, this would NOT be allowed, I don't casually kiss anyone, but Chris was my pet project :) so a little light petting was in order. "Okay" he smiles and I give him a few pecks on the lips and can tell he is breathing harder now, I wasn't trying to tease the guy, just help him. Basically I was trying to get him to open up and relax, instead of clutching onto me for dear life, I told him that he needed to observe and be responsive to what I was doing, in essence to what *his* date was doing, and yes there were times when you would want to 'Take Charge!' "And one more thing," I say pulling away, but our faces are still real close at this point. "What?" "When you lean in to kiss, tilt your head a little to the opposite of your partners, not a lot but just a little." I smile. "Can I try once more?" He asks. "Okay." I whisper and he leans in, tilts his head and I slowly move my lips over his as he tries to find a complimentary rhythm to my mouth. "Corbin you have such soft lips, I've never felt anything so soft." He moans into my mouth. "Thank you." I whisper back, and then the little devil's left hand moves down to stroke my bare thigh. "That will do." I pull pack and smile. "Any pointers on French kissing?" He blushes and tilts his head down. *Snort* *Giggle* "Hahaha...." I cover my mouth quickly, "Sorry, but No! I'll let you work that out with your next girlfriend." I smile and place his left hand back on his lap. Let's not get carried away here! But like I said Chris was a project of mine and at least now he can say he kissed a girl! I also noticed he was looking hot, flustered and now sporting a major hard-on in his pants. Didn't do anything for me at all, no sparks, nothing. It was a very bland kiss, but oh well. Didn't do it for me, I did it for Chris. "So there, see, not so hard." I smile and go to stand up he follows my lead a second later. "I'll walk you down to your car, oh wait!" I suddenly remember and turn around to my dresser to grab one of my gymnastic pictures, it was a really nice one in a frame. "Here it's yours." I say and hand it to him. He gets this great expression on his face of joy, but then hesitates, "I couldn't." "Oh please, I have more of the same, a lot more! Here!" I push it toward him. He awkwardly takes the picture and looks down at it for a moment. "I hope someday I can find a girlfriend like you, you're a lot different from all of the other girls I've met." He says. Now normally I find such sad, blubbering, self-pity talk to be annoying but I was still in a very giving sensitive mood. "Oh baby, it will happen." I say softly and step in to give him a hug. The poor boy seems ready to fall apart and cry so I pull him into my arms and hug him, that's when he then begins to quietly weep, he now returns my hug with more effort. "I know it's hard Chris, it takes such a long time for someone to get to know you, I know it can be painful." "It's so frustrating, I just don't know what to say or do Corbin." He sobs a little more. "Well, I'm no expert, but I think you'll do just fine." I smile and he tearfully thanked me again, and again, and again (okay I get it kid! You're grateful!) as I walked him to the door. Chris is a nice guy who deserves a great girlfriend, and I think it was a shame that he was a Freshman in college without having even gotten to first base with a girl. I didn't feel bad for doing what I did, I didn't' feel like a tease or any of that, or that I was cheating on Dale. I felt like I was doing a good deed, boosting his confidence and Chris was a total gentleman about the whole thing. "Corbin?" Chris paused as he stepped across the threshold of my apartment, but paused. "Yeah?" I asked and braced my right hand against the frame of the door while my left held the door open. "You seem like you have everything going for you; friends, socially, sports, how do you do it?" He really seemed so awkward and unsure of how to express himself it broke my heart. "Oh Chris" I sighed softly, "That's all superficial stuff, on the inside I really don't feel like I fit in, I just do the best I can and let the rest fall in place I suppose." I know that was a lame explanation and so many people feel like they miss out on experiencing things socially, only to live the rest of their lives in regret, hoping to somehow turn the hands of time back so they can go back and relive college or some part of their youth one- more-time. "I guess I've had a lot of opportunities thrown my way, but with those open-doors come a lot of distractions from focusing on being a better person and achieving your dreams in life." I add. Wow, where did that somewhat deep philosophical statement come from? He did get a girlfriend shortly thereafter and maybe....just maybe....I helped him in some way. We are friends to this day and trade emails once in awhile. ********** !! RANT ALERT !! Today I was sitting in the weight room when to my left this girl walks up and picks up a pair of 5 pound dumbbells (please don't strain yourself, really now). So the girl begins to raise her arms up to her side and then back down, then back up, but this time in front. She does this about fifteen times, sets the weights down and walks off. Uhmmmm, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? You call that a workout? You must be kidding! I see that happen all the time, just pathetic. ********** Who am I kidding. I am a fool. I feel like such a looser. 'Oh shut up Corbin!' is what people want to tell me, what some tell me in so many words. "You have everything and all you do is complain!" But I can't keep on having everything. I need to do the 'right thing' and stop seeing Dale, and commit to Nikki. This is something that Nikki and I have talked about at length. She will have her sit down with Rob, I will talk to Dale. Our respective boyfriends will go ape shit, there will be some apocalyptic aftermath to clean up, but its the right thing to do. Then Nikki and I can focus on our relationship. No more sneaking around. Sounds like a great plan right? **********