Chapter 10 ********** The longest journey Is the journey inwards. -Dag Hammarskj”ld ********** I'm listening to the Rolling Stones as I type this, not their new stuff, their classical stuff. Speaking of music I like almost all types of music, but it has to have a good beat to it. Except Country 'riding-on-the-range, cow-shit-kicking' Cowboy bullshit crap. I mean really now! All those Country Music songs sound the same. Guys and Girls singing about what? I'll tell you what! Their woman left them, their horse has gone lame, and their dog died. WHAA! WHAA! WHAA! Cry me a river. So now that I have gotten all of the angst out of my system, we may begin.... ********** "You'd be my Girlfriend if Dale hadn't gotten to you first!" Oh Goodie, here we go again. His name was Shelton and his reputation preceded him. A very handsome black man who was a real charmer with the ladies. He was a Football player and a lady 'player'. He leaned in and rubbed shoulders playfully with mine. He meant it by the way, Shelton had a major fixation/crush/boner for me, but he also knew how to play everything off as just innocent flirting so I wouldn't get too offended. You have to be very well in tune with what the other person's body language is conveying in order to pull off such flirting. I was fading in and out of the conversation with Shelton. I had started to lean away from him as he would lean in, something he seemed to pick up on. The other thing to mention is that Shelton had that well developed ability to initiate conversation with anyone he chose, he could be lighthearted and funny, without coming off as arrogant. "Look," I sighed and looked up at his attentive dark eyes. "If you want to stand here and have a pleasant conversation, we can do that. But that's all." My expression became just a tad bit tense, hoping to drive home the point. "I totally respect that, but please you're totally not my type." He smirked and took a sip of his beer. I just nodded and smiled at his little word games, "I understand, you're just bored with everyone else in the bar and would rather stand here with me, just to kill time, right?" "Maybe, or maybe the alcohol is really getting to my brain, impairs ones judgment you know." He said leaning in close again, his voice low, forcing me to lean in and hear him. Another nice trick and I have to admit. The little bantering going on was kind of amusing now, just don't let your boyfriend or girlfriend overhear you doing this. In my mind it was harmless fun, but I've seen 'significant others' go ape-shit when they hear such stuff, and then the arguments and accusations start to fly about flirting, cheating and all sorts of other stuff, all over some innocent banter. You might as well get used to Shelton, he turns out to be a pretty good friend, even if he is always chasing my tail. Sorry, that sounds vulgar doesn't it? Oh well. ********** Sharon was standing off to my right speaking with the hairdresser explaining what the cut should look like and the whole time I could feel my stomach twisting as I watched Sharon draw invisible lines along my neck and face. "Shit that's a lot of hair!" I mumbled in despair. "Everything's going to be okay, you're going to look wonderful" I felt the hairstylist lean in close, her warm reassuring voice entering my left ear canal, but it did very little to ease my concerns. "Don't worry strong girl you won't loose all of your strength when your hair is cut." Sharon rubbed my right shoulder ever trying to bring some lightheartedness into the moment and I smiled. 'Uh oh! My cheeks are trembling...that's a bad sign it means I'm going to cry!' Good grief I feel pathetic, about to ball because my long blonde hair was getting cropped about shoulder length. Snip....snip....snip.....and sure enough the next thing I knew my right hand was brushing the tears off my cheeks as my hair floated away, down to the ground below. I have to say it helped that the woman cutting my hair was such an artist, it was a distraction to watch as she sculpted, cut, slashed and shaped my locks of hair. She was so graceful with the scissors and razor that I became momentarily mesmerized by the flashing metal reflecting off the overhead lights. Now why would going from totally unmanaged and unkempt, to something smooth, shapely and glamorous cause my insides to flip-flop? I didn't know! But as the hours wore on that day I felt my body slowly succumb to the delicious body treatment that ensued. Pedicure, Manicure, Facial, Makeup, Hair. This was a full service salon and Sharon had outdone herself in making sure I was well taken care of. But who am I kidding, I knew for damn sure that there was no way I was going to be able to maintain this level of style, but for one night I did my best to pull it all together: 1 'Convertible' bra cause I'm wearing a strapless dress. 1 Pair of Black Evening shoes with almost three inch heels! YIKES! 1 Diamante v-string thong (Mmmmm I don't normally like thongs, but damn I looked incredibly sexy in it and it felt good under the gown). 1 Micro-Fleece Classic Gown, slits going up the left and right side, but not that high. Ready to go! (I won't bore you with the makeup, shaving, and other personal attention that goes into making us look nice for you guys.) "Hey! I look pretty damn hot!" I blurted out in front of the full length mirror, turning to the left, then to the right several times, taking small steps as if fearful the image was a mirage. In truth I barely recognized myself, my hair had that radiant sheen and I simply couldn't stop smiling, also I was proud for once at having decent size breasts which really sealed-the-deal with this particular dress. My cleavage was going to be on display tonight for sure! Sharon stood off to one side nodding her head with approval, extremely impressed with my outcome, almost feeling like some proud parent, even though I did pick up a hint of jealousy. Just bitchy girl stuff. Sharon always talked about how I was a diamond-in-the-rough. But tonight I really shined and that took the spotlight off of her. It was one of the best nights of my life, a firestorm of attention from guys and girls (even from some of the girls that disliked me), everyone complimented my appearance. Everything was paying off it seemed, my hard work in the gym had given my body a defined physique that was nicely shown off in the dress; being strapless my neck, shoulders and arms were on display, and the sexiest part was the slit up the side of the gown showing off my calves and thighs. For once I relished every bit of it and oddly enough the intense male attention didn't seem to bother Dale, in fact it only pumped his pride and ego up even further. I felt bad for those girls that are emaciated waifs, starving their already thin bodies to try and go down just one more dress size. They look sickly thin and pale, while I on the other hand look healthy and well toned. Trust me, how I try to encourage them to eat more and exercise to put weight on, the good news is I have managed to convert some of them and they look awesome! "Things are winding down, do you want to head on up?" Dale whispered as he slid his right arm around my back and pulled me in close. He was exceedingly proud tonight, constantly paying me compliments, never away from my side for a moment. "Sure." I sighed, I was getting sleepy anyway....Wait! What did he just say? "What? Go up where?" I suddenly looked over at him, we were almost eye level now with my heels. "I got us a room for the night." He smiled casually, "I can't wait to peel this dress off your hot body. Besides it's late and I thought it would be convenient and romantic to have our own room tonight." I was a bit speechless, on one hand it made sense and did sound romantic, after all the event was being hosted by one of the really luxury hotels in the area. 'But I know he's up to something' my mind continued to suspect as I felt his hands caressing up and down my waist pulling me in tighter. "Just come on up and see." Dale smiled mischievously and I admit I was very excited at the moment so I went along with his plans. We walked up the spiral staircase to the second floor while my heart was pounding furiously, 'Am I actually second guessing myself? No! He us not asking for sex, but yet the plan is obvious!' I continued to wrestle with things emotionally. 'We will sleep in the same bed, but no sex!' There! Done deal! My willpower can overcome all! Then he slipped the key card in and the light turned green, 'Bingo we were in! And that sneaky devil had been planning something for sure.' I just walked into that room took a look around and burst into tears, it was a beautiful sight to behold! "Why are you crying?" He rushed over. "It's so beautiful!" I babbled as my tear-blurred eyes swept across the room. The lights were low and some beautifully romantic music played in the background. But I think it was the rose pedals....they formed a trail from the door, up to the bed and were carefully littered all about while a huge arrangement of red roses sat on the nearby dresser. I've had a lot of guys in High School and College try to romance me away from my boyfriends, all sorts of elaborate stunts, but this was just amazing! My guard was down and my emotions were running high, now my body and mind wanted to make love to this man! Once again my body, mind, and all that other psychological stuff goes to war against one another. "Oh baby." He sighed and pulled me into this incredibly warm embrace, our bodies were on fire....errr....make that my body was on fire. Dale's is always on fire. He was pushing all the right buttons tonight and I was almost ready to just give myself over to him, to consummate our relationship, to let him take me and make love to me all night. I wanted it....I wanted him....I wanted him 'in me', 'on top' of me....you name it. I knew my body was into it as I realized I was involuntarily grinding my crotch against his and that set off a chain reaction on both our parts. His hands moved down and cupped my ass, squeezing firmly as our mouths mated against one another. 'Shit I'm going to ruin the dress!' My mind screamed as we pulled and ground against one another, standing in the middle of that room, 'Fuck the dress!' I sighed privately and gave in. We carefully guided one another to the bed and I took the initiative by pushing on his shoulders, the back of his knees hit the edge of the mattress and he sat down breaking off the kiss. He looked up at me and then began to lie back, pulling me down on top of him. The dress was getting in the way so I began to hike it up high on my legs so I could straddle his waist, and I think that's when he thought I had given him the green light. I suppose I can understand his view on things as I was responding to everything at this point and being pretty aggressive myself. Damn he is quick! He had that zipper down, belt unbuckled, and penis out in seconds, the touch against my inner thighs was startling at first but I was still into kissing and his touches, so I let it go for the moment. I felt him try to move a little lower and get 'into position', yet I still didn't say anything to stop him, but my right hand was already moving down to intervene. I felt the track of his hand moving up my leg and then under my dress, searching for something, to remove that final barrier with his deft fingers that ran along the trim of my panties. He gently traced the outline of the fabric, no amateurish poking or prodding, but soft pleasurable strokes. "Hold on." I whimpered. "What." He gasped in my ear as he nibbled on my earlobe. "Unzip me." I moaned. Breaking off to get undressed was a real challenge, my entire body was hot, so horny and I was soaking wet between the legs that it felt like some animalistic urge was taking me over. I wanted to rip my clothes off and his, to dominate, to utterly and sexually dominate him. 'God what has gotten into me?' "As you wish." He groaned with a faint smile. We got off the bed and I turned my back to him, his hot breath whispered on my neck, the hairs stood up in response, he didn't unzip me right away, but started to kiss my neck and shoulders in a slow and tender manner, I thought of Nikki kissing me, but only for a second. As for expectations, Dale knew the ground rules, sure he might push things as he always does, but I was willing to let things go a little further tonight, just not all the way. He slid his hands down around my waist and to my stomach pulling me tight against him. It didn't take long before the simmering heat that exists between us began to once again build into a volcanic thunder. He was grinding his crotch into my butt and I was grinding right back as his hands were cupping my breasts thru the dress. "I get so hot for you it drives me crazy." I sighed. "I love hearing you say that," Dale whispered, "but you keep a lot to yourself Corbin, it would nice to hear it more often." I just smiled, he was right, I rarely expressed my physical desires toward him verbally. Finally his fingers slowly moved the tiny zipper down and I turned around. Dale had already started undressing and I loved his body, he was ripped and has a six pack of abs and wonderful muscles all over, without a word spoken I slipped off my dress, my bra and then pushed off my panties. This was an action that I did not take lightly, his eyes went wide absorbing every inch as I stood fully nude before him. His look conveyed something else, a look not only of adoring, but of pure lust. I just blushed and tilted my head, Dale was also now fully nude and his penis as hard as that body of his. His penis....that large, scary object that seemed to have a it's own zip code. From base to tip it twitched with a life of it's own. 'And I am expected to do what? With that!' My brain agonized. Simultaneously we both knelt onto the bed and then I had the oddest thought, I remembered a night in my room, we he asked me to make a muscle with my arm. I smiled and spontaneously raised both arms to perform a double bicep pose, twisting my torso just a little while flexing my abs. The look on his face was priceless, his eyes got wide and he entered into what I call a 'trance like state', his hands immediately reached out and touched my stomach, shoulders, and then my biceps, he couldn't get enough. "I love your body," He was spoke and moved like a man possessed! "Your so hard, so sexy, so amazing!" I then lowered my arms as we moved our knees toward one another. Dale was all over me, not clumsy or random, but he wanted to explore and arouse me at the same time. He was succeeding on all fronts! The felling of his chest hair across my breasts was warm and soothing, his large erection throbbing against my belly sent an erotic shiver up my spine. Slowly we started to kiss, open mouths hovering and touching, tongues rolling against one another. Our strong bodies lowered to the bed, and rolled across the covers while our legs and arms intertwined, I was trembling as our bodies seemed to grind and writhe against one another, almost as if we were wrestling. I was on top of him now, and could feel his hips push up, the heat between our sexes was incredible, in that moment I felt the incredible chemistry that exists between a man and a woman, and how powerful the desire to make love can really be. Our kissing never stopped as I felt the length of his penis rub along the length of my labia, I was so wet and slippery! Dale even said so. I had to reach down between our bodies to control the movement for fear of him accidentally achieving the right angle and trying to enter me. I cupped the length of his long shaft, it felt so hot to the touch as I moved down until it now pressed firmly against ridges of my lower abs. My action caused him to instantly thrust upward, I held it tight against me as I helped him rub his erection between my hand and my stomach. The thickness and power of holding his penis was amazing, the effect on me was staggering, at times I thought I could literally feel my body reacting to this man under me, making me ready to accept him and I wanted him in me, to become apart of me. I could tell it wouldn't be long before he was ready to cum, every fiber of his being had but one desire, to be inside of me, to hump and thrust against my body, to overcome any barrier and restrictions, he would not be satisfied until he had made love to me. I pulled away some and noticed his face was flushed, beads of sweat covering his forehead, he was breathing heavy and seemed to be struggling not to cum yet. "You turn me on like no other women I have ever met." He moaned, his hands always seemed to gravitate to my breasts and/or butt, or both at the same time, one hand on each. "Oh God," He groaned and mumbled something that was slightly incoherent. I was seriously getting off on this, I looked up and smiled a little at this man writhing on the bed, he wanted me so bad, he wanted what I had. And just then I had visions of him on his knees proposing marriage, then the look on his eyes as he carries me over the threshold into a room much like this one. Oh yeah, I was horny as well, I was breathing hard and covered in sweat from our making-out and the pure lust. My left hand had moved down under my body and between my legs 'I am so wet!' I thought, my plentiful juices kept me well lubricated as I rubbed on my clit. It took only few seconds more before a few faint shudders to roll thru my body, 'Oh yes!' I even moaned. (I'm sure it's rather sickening to read all of this, but hey tough shit! You dopes reading this should feel lucky that I am sharing as much as I am.) I began to pull back and kissed down his chest, I glanced up and smiled, his eyes were wide-open with anticipation. My curiosity had gotten the better of me, as had my desires, but I also wanted to please Dale and I know he ached for me to go down on him, which I always flat out refused in the past. Part of my refusal was that I was nervous, would I be any good at it? Is there a grading scale for this kind of thing? Now my face was right up on it, it looked even bigger close up! The head seemed enormous and I was fascinated by the incredible desire to kiss it, to put my mouth on it. I decided I was going to do whatever I wanted and let the rest take care of itself, if he enjoyed it great, if not, so be it! But the first thing I did was press my lips against the tip slowly and gently, it was so soft and warm. I glanced up again and smiled, his chest rising and lowering quickly as I settled into a slow exploration of his penis, and there was a lot to explore. I proceeded to kiss and lick the head before moving my lips and tongue down the shaft. My right hand was gently squeezing his large balls as my mouth and tongue worked up and down the shaft. Dale was beginning to moan and squirm a lot more, every time I put my lips on his head he would gently thrust upward as if attempting to enter my mouth. I wasn't ready to take him into my mouth yet so I would pull back some, maybe he thought I was just teasing him. 'He must be liking this.' I thought because he was moaning 'Yes, oh my god Corbin, yes, thank you.' Thank you? Well at least he is appreciative after all he has been begging me to give him oral sex ever since we started dating. My left hand gripped near the base and pushed his cock straight up so I could more easily take the tip into my mouth, my right hand continued to squeeze his balls, he really liked that for some reason. And I thought it odd that I was really enjoying giving him oral sex, it was exciting. I will have to think long and hard about this later, my more analytical side coming into play. I love to psychoanalyze my attitude and behavior especially since I always lectured girlfriends about safe sex and not giving guys any kind of sexual gratification until after marriage. Dale still lay sprawled out on his back but I moved off to his right side into a semi kneeling position to get more comfortable. I thought about the best position to be in when I finally tried to take more of him into my mouth, I figured if I faced away from him while scooting up close to his body I could hunch over, yeah that should do it. My lack of experience is pretty telling huh? Now my ass is facing towards his head and he seized the opportunity (as any man would I suppose) to squeeze my ass with his right hand, his probing fingers ran down my crack until they found my pussy, that's when I lost all concentration. His fingers began to gently massage my outer labia. I mean I totally zoned out. My mouth was wide open and eyes closed as I began to moan, I literally had to force myself to focus back on his beautiful prick. Some part of me wanted to pull away, a control thing I guess, but it felt too damn good! "Your so wet." He moaned and I responded by slowly moving my mouth over his large head and felt the soft spongy tip push past my lips, now my lips were wrapped around the head, trapping it inside my mouth as my tongued drilled into the tip and massaged his large flowering head. I had to open my mouth very wide, a little uncomfortable given how thick he is. Dale's hand had stopped and he was arching his back, moaning louder now, but his fingers slowly started to move down my slit until he finally zeroed in on my clit. My mind is spinning, his slow rubbing caused me to grunt and moan while my whole body felt aroused beyond anything I have ever experienced. He tilted his pelvis pushing the shaft further into my mouth, I tried to relax my jaws and lips to accept more of him but it was becoming a real challenge. I was convinced that there was no way I could take but a few inches of his monstrous penis. Dale had started pulling on my left ankle, then he was pulling on my calf muscle trying to move my left leg over his chest and I became suddenly nervous, I may be inexperienced but I am no dummy! He was moving us into a sixty-nine position! Well heck, since I am going down on him at least he wants to return the favor! I think? I hope! He guided my hips down with his hands and I felt his lips kiss my pussy, "So beautiful" He moaned and began to lick me, my whole body jerked and squirmed as he kissed, licked, and sucked on my pussy. He moved his tongue inside of me and I even had a slight orgasm initially, I thought, I was loosing my concentration as I found myself practically lying on top of him with my mouth open and eyes closed. I just kept moaning and came two more times as his fingers, mouth, and tongue worked on my clit. I totally forgot about his penis as I ground my crotch into his attentive mouth, a finger from his left hand started to rub across my anus and that was a turn on as well, surprisingly. Finally my whole body started to shake from a tremendous orgasm. Quickly I had to lean forward just out of his reach as my clit was so sensitive from the stimulation. "Thank you Dale that was incredible." I moaned, or groaned, or something. I was able to gather just enough of my senses together to finish sucking on his dick (okay yeah, when put that way it sounds nasty, but erotic at the same time, how odd). I was extremely pleased with that orgasm and Dale's never ending attention to me, I now returned my focus back on him. So open wide! And I took as many inches as I could, this resulted in instant moaning from Dale. I was determined to take as much of his penis into my mouth as I could. I focused on relaxing when I would feel the tip hitting the back of my throat, I would pull back and stroke his shaft several times while using my tongue on his head, that's when I suddenly began to taste something slightly biter, a trickle of pre cum had begun, amazingly it didn't gross me out. Open wide, breath deep, and relax was the routine as I tried to take him deeper. I was stunned that I did not gag once, but let's be real, there was no way I was going to achieve this task completely, he was either too big, or I was too nervous and way too inexperienced (a combination of all I believe). He was close to cumming so I just started pumping harder and continued to suck on the tip of his penis, while doing this Dale's hands continued to rub and stroke my thighs and butt. Suddenly he let out this great groan and a second later his crotch thrust upward, repeatedly! Almost instinctively I moved my mouth away, he started to come more violently then I ever recalled. I froze watching his amazing body cum, up he shot his cum and it landed on the back of my right shoulder, good Lord! One minute it looked like high voltage was running thru him, then he was barely moving, it was very surreal. I thought he was actually unconscious for a second taking deep breaths as his eyes were shut like he was asleep. I turned my body around, "Dale? You okay?" I whispered and gave him a sharp nudge I really hoped he was not dying on me! That's all I need! "Yeah, oh yeah, my God Corbin," he smiled and then I smiled. "I have never cum that hard in my entire life!" Dale sighed, "I can wait to make love to you." Such a very presumptuous statement on his part, well not really, he had become very vocal about his intentions to marry me after College. As I indicated earlier everything about our lives had become intertwined. With so many duds out there Dale was a real gem, totally loyal and devoted to me. "I love you." he moaned into my mouth and I responded in kind, I was still laying on top of him, slowly letting my weight settle completely. There was a refreshing feeling of freedom, laying her totally nude with my boyfriend. Our arms and legs caressing around one another. The moment lasted a few more minutes, but was shattered when my thoughts suddenly shifted to Nikki, yet again! Here I am lying with Dale an I am now thinking of Nikki and getting even more turned on. I am seriously messed up! "I am so fortunate to have such a beautiful, sexy girl here in my arms." He said which suddenly got me back into the moment. I tried not to laugh and took the compliment in stride, I don't think of myself as this incredible sexy person. I then made him get up and clean up all that 'stuff' he just squirted all over the place because I am the boss! We rolled over and snuggled up into a tight spoon position to sleep for the night. In that moment I have never felt more safe and secure, I even smiled a little to myself as I felt the wonderful bliss of sleep creep up on my mind and body. I like feeling as if my future was set, that Dale and I would graduate and start building a life together. In this moment everything seemed perfect and I was confident I could plow thru any challenges that the future my throw my way. ********** Dale literally scooped me up in his arms and carried me into my room, it was fun, silly, but very romantic at the same time, Dale and I were at the highlight of our relationship. Not only that but Sharon and I were getting ready to move into our own apartment, something I was very excited about as well. My future seemed so bright, safe and orderly, so why was my mood suddenly changing? In a matter of a few minutes I went from feeling exuberant to feeling down, even uneasy about my entire life. Life is funky huh? Or am I? My cell phone went off and I jerked around, I hesitated upon seeing the caller ID, but then swiped it off my desk. I caught my breath and felt instant dread and happiness. Uh-oh, storm warning, female emotions are in-play! "Yo woman!" I said smartly into the phone. "Yo woman!" Nikki replied. We kind of developed these silly greetings. And then I felt my whole face scrunch up tight as I opened my mouth, I just get drawn deeper into something with Nik. The dread was increasing because I keep wanting to *snap out of it* and finally realize Nikki and I are just an experimental fling, but that didn't happen, won't happen, will never happen! Where had all my resolve from the night before gone? Dale and I are doomed, now I want to cry. "I've missed you." Nikki said and suddenly we were on that wavelength that seemed to exist from the first moment we met. I pressed my lips against the small plastic receiver and sat down on my bed, and began to speak those words, they seemed to come from a more powerful place then my consciousness could control, "I keep thinking about you, about us being together." My breath suddenly got caught up in my chest and I closed my eyes, tears of sadness and joy flooded my eyes. "I feel the same way love." Nikki moaned back into the phone, we were caught up in that intimate connection even over a cold digital cell phone. This was an amazing, telling moment, even after each of us having had a wonderful weekend with our respective boyfriends we both knew that our attraction to each other will end up crashing thru every barrier, destroying everything in its path. How odd, how ironic, that we both share the same commitment to saving ourselves for marriage but have never hesitate getting immediately physical with one another, go figure! But wait, there is a big dilemma going on in my little brain, how am I ever supposed to have sex with a man when I may end up with a woman! Drat! Double drat! "Please come over." Nikki said quickly, her voice urgent. There was something very different in her, a desperate quality that beckons me, something that we both wanted to happen, something that has to happen. "On my way." And I hung up, got changed and was out the door. No lovey-dovey goodbyes, time wasted talking is time I could spend on the way to her apartment, and I brought some sleep over clothes too. The drive over was maddening, I was an emotional wreck as my fingers nervously gripped and wrung against the steering wheel. I knew what was going on with me and I knew what was going to happen when I got to Nikki's. The closer I got to her apartment the harder my heart pounded, and the source of all of this energy you might be wondering? My sex drive. I was so horny I could barely sit still in my seat, I kept clutching my inner thighs anxiously. Don't get me wrong, dating Dale for these past many months has been wonderful, and we have the best emotional and physical chemistry I could ever have hoped for. So what an unexpected twist of fate that I find the greatest emotional, spiritual, and physical connection with that of 'another woman'. Nikki and I were on a sexual collision course from the first moment we met one another. She opened the door wide, greeting me in those tight, sexy, faded jeans of hers that show off those long, toned legs. Up top she had on a tight faded maroon tee shirt, it was obvious she was not wearing a bra. She was looking sexier then ever. I dropped my sleepover bag and kicked the door closed with my left foot before walking into her arms, no 'Hello' or 'How was your weekend?' we were like two heat-seeking missiles with only one mission in life. Initially our lips touched lightly as we firmly crushed the front of our bodies together, her wonderful breasts pressing hard against mine. I felt her left hand reach around to lock the dead bolt while her other hand was groping my ass, our kissing and hugging soon turned into an assault on one another, pulling as hard as we dare. Our moaning and grunting was almost animalistic as we began to grind against each other, even pulling on each other's hair in some bizarre struggle to control the other. 'How could we have denied making love to our respective boyfriends just the night before? But we are both powerless to deny one another now?' It is a primitive and unexplainable thing that exists between us. "Now, we make love." Nikki said, her Portuguese accent heaver then normal, her tongue licked my lower and upper lips. "Yes." I sighed and gave her tongue a long, firm suck. Her hands moved around to the front and unhooked my jeans, I did the same to her and we slowly moved down the hallway. "Come my sweet, I have a surprise for you." Nikki's sweet, seductive voice beckoned. The lights were off, but candles illuminated the bathroom, a full tub of steaming water awaited us. A small bathroom, in a modest apartment suddenly became the most heavenly, romantic, and luxurious place on Earth for the two of us. We then moved to her bed, I mean 'our bed' as Nikki now calls it. We explored, licked and kissed every inch of each other's body, I think I have tasted every inch of that girl's skin now and she mine. Nary a word spoken since I arrived that afternoon, and none need be, we simply spent long minutes staring into each other's eyes and watched the emotional tears run down our faces, we would then kiss the other's cheeks tenderly saying 'I love you' softly. Too many swirling thoughts I guess at first, but finally the words just started to flow, we both knew time was catching up with us and no longer could we play this game of deceit any longer. Was it only almost 24 hours ago we were with our boyfriends? The intensity of the moment did not wane later into the evening as we got up to get a drink of wine, we stood nude in her kitchen as we admired and hugged one another, feeding each other copious amounts of white wine. I also know what you fine readers are thinking; 'You two, good for nothing, cheating, backstabbing women! Sneaking around behind your boyfriends, who have been totally faithful, and now about to blindside them with this major breakup, you two don't deserve such good, decent guys!' Hey now, don't be so harsh! We didn't plan this whole thing to happen, complications of the heart and all that deep emotional, philosophical stuff got in the way and how am I suppose to figure out all this stuff?....and study?....and practice sports?....and go to the gym! That's a lot of heavy lifting for my small brain! ********** "Hey, why are you getting so defensive and upset, it was just an observation." Sharon folded her arms across her chest, casually tilting her head off to the left, that long, brown, hollywood hair of hers falling down around her shoulders. I abruptly stopped pacing in small circles and squared my shoulders up with Sharon, "Why am I so defensive? Because I see the look you give Nikki, could you make an effort to be nicer, you never have two nice words to say to her." "Oh....It's me with the problem?" Sharon leaned back in shock as if she had been insulted, "Maybe Nikki's the one manipulating your time? Did you ever consider that?" Sharon shook her head with a slight 'no'. "Stop trying to twist things around!" I fumed. "Great, now I'm twisting things around," Sharon threw her hands in the air and walked around to my left. "Wait right there Ms. Social-Sorority-Queen...." I made a pained expression "....you're reading way too much into things." I glared but Sharon just kept looking at me with those wounded blue eyes. "She wants you Corbin." Sharon swallowed hard at saying that. "What?" I stiffened and leaned back, almost totally pulling away from Sharon's touch. "Okay, maybe I am wrong," Sharon's voice became soft as she lowered her head some, putting on her best act of self doubt and concern for me, "but you've had girl's flirt with you before Corbin, and I believe Nikki is seriously interested in you, more then friends, and it's messing with your head. That's all just my opinion and I'm sorry if it hurts you." Sharon reached in and hugged me. Sharon's instincts were right on track so I had to scramble, to try and redirect the conversation, "I just wish you two got along, you don't even know her that well." I sighed and hugged Sharon back. My Lord, it worked! Sharon let the issue drop....for now. ********** One would think that conversation with Sharon would have helped set me straight. But as I looked across the soccer field and saw this tan, dark-skinned beautiful girl, her straight black hair falling out of her pony tail, sweat streaking down her toned, muscular arms and legs. Suddenly the thought of a husband, kids, picket fence and house made me want to gag. And then, this beautiful girl across the field paused and looked right over at me, she smiled a big, white toothy smile. I couldn't help but smile back. There....we are together....even at a distance..... ....we are together, and we will make it. *********