Not So Dirty Limericks. Mary had a little sheep, And with this sheep She went to sleep. The sheep turned out To be a ram And Mary had a little lamb! --------------------------------- There once was a butcher named Sims Who married a woman of whims. She said "No!" once to often So he bought her a coffin And made farewell love to her limbs --------------------------------- Help Murder Police My mother fell in the grease I laughed so hard I fell in the lard Help Murder Police --------------------------------- Little Willie Winkle with a thirst for gore stapled his sister to the door, "Now Willie", his mother said with humor quaint, "Don't do that, you'll scratch the paint" --------------------------------- There once was a man from York who picked his nose with a fork when it got stuck he cried "I don't give a fuck" and walked around looking like a dork. --------------------------------- There once was a man from Peru Who had a lot of growing up to do, He'd ring a doorbell, then run like hell, Until the owner shot him with a .22 --------------------------------- There was a farting contest coming to town and people came from miles around the first fart was extremely loud the second fart pleased the crowd the third fart, the judges cried "He shit his pants, he's disqualified!"