From: Celeste801@aol.com
Subject: {ASSM} Celestial Reviews 355 February 13
Date: 16 Feb 2000 00:00:00 GMT
Message-ID: <22848asstr$950760601@assm.asstr.org>
Approved: <assm@asstr.org>
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
X-Original-Message-ID: <de.158c754.25dc2465@aol.com>
Followup-To: alt.sex.stories.d
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="ISO-8859-1"
X-Moderator-Contact: ASSTR ASSM moderation <story-admin@asstr.org>
X-Moderator-ID: assm-admin
X-Archived-At: <URL:http://assm.asstr.org/Year2000/22848>
MIME-Version: 1.0
X-MIME-Autoconverted: from quoted-printable to 8bit by sara.asstr.org id LAA06732
Newsgroups: alt.sex.stories.moderated,alt.sex.stories
X-Story-Submission: <story-submit@asstr.org>
Celestial Reviews 355 – February 13, 2000
Note: A woman goes to her doctor and says she wants an operation because her
vagina lips are much too large. She asks the doctor to keep the operation a
secret, because she's embarrassed and doesn't want anyone to find out. The
doctor agrees.
She wakes up from her operation and finds three roses carefully placed beside
her bed. Outraged, she immediately calls in the doctor and says, "I thought
I asked you not to tell anyone about my operation!"
"Don't worry," he says; "I didn't tell anybody. The first rose is from me. I
felt bad because you went through this all by yourself. The second one is
from my nurse. She assisted me with the operation, and she had the operation
done herself."
"Who is the third rose from?" she asked.
"Oh," says the doctor, "that rose is from a guy upstairs in the burn unit. He
wanted to thank you for his new ears!"
Second note: On the day of the wedding, Princess Sophie was getting dressed,
surrounded by all her family, and she suddenly realized she had forgotten to
get any shoes. Panic ensued, until her sister remembered she had a pair of
white shoes from her own wedding; and so she lent them to Sophie for the day.
Unfortunately, they were too small; and by the time the festivities were
over, Sophie's feet were in agony. When she and Edward withdrew to their
room, the only thing she could think of was getting her shoes off.
The rest of the Royal Family crowded around the door to the bedroom and they
heard what they expected: grunts, straining noises, and the occasional
muffled scream. Eventually they heard Edward say "God, that was tight."
"There," whispered the Queen. "I told you she was a virgin."
Then, to their surprise, they heard Edward say, "Right. Now for the other
one."
More grunting and straining followed, and at last Edward said, "My God! That
was even tighter!"
"That's my boy," said the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor!"
=====================
Celestial Reviews Index:
=====================
"The Blueblood Slut" by DrSpin (fall from grace) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579855431
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579855436
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579869761
"Tending Bar" by Sidney Durham (empirical sex) 10, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582048460
"Payback" by Ann Douglas (blackmail) 9, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577073026
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577294830
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577135626
"Flights of Fancy" by Uther Pendragon (anticipating the first time) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581367078
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581367085
"Ruthie's Smile " by Jack of All Trades (romance) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=580178653
"My First Time" by Paris Waterman (first time) 10, 9, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=551039545
"From a chat room to this" by Deacon of Blue (deacon_blue_2000@my-deja.com)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564768988
"Mrs. Burns" by E.Z. Riter" (blackmail) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581351651
"Watch Where You Put Your Hands" by DrSpin (flirtation) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=548985723
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"Hotel Encounter" by the first elf (one-nighter). Homer: 9, 8, 6
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=548047676
"Tales of the Golden Mule" by Artie (mystery/romance). BillyG: 10, 8, 7
The Beginning
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563956882
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563956891
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563978728
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563759675
Miss Yellow
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565208417
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220489
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220500
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220510
Searching for Miss Brown
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601466
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601476
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601484
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567616092
Finding a New Life
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340149
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340134
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340122
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356833
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356861
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356845
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570378855
'Indigo' by Nicholas Urfe (sex in days of old). Admiral: 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=525022331
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=525937222
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=529671916
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=539355456
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=558370029
"The Contractor's Seduction" by tonytony3 (wife watching). Nick: 9, 8, 5
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567569147
"The Boy Veteran" by Varangian (cliffhanging sex). Admiral: 8.5, 5, 5
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559977538
"Annie's Revenge" by Deacon of Blue (true confession sex). Myers: No rating.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569544955
"Desert Rendezvous" by Very Horni (fuck like an Egyptian). Mary: Highly
recommended.
"Elegy" by Richard Rivers (sexy letter). Fiddler: 9, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=578495754
"Gotta Have That Beat" by Otzchiim (Petrarchan Sonnet). Fiddler: 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582932169
"Watch Where You Put Your Hands" by DrSpin (flirtatious confrontation).
Fiddler: 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=548985723
"Dreams Come True" by Individa (young girl with older guy). Homer: 7, 7, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523123886
"Donna" by John Jameson (romantic coming of age). BillyG: 9.5, 10, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582220277
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231870
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231873
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231875
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243631
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243636
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243638
"Breakup" by Jack of All Trades (ending a relationship). Myers: No rating.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=574799848
"Landscaping" by Felix Phile (loss of innocence). Nick: 10, 10, 9
"The Guy in the Aisle Seat" by Ficklesque (theatre sex). Anne: 8, 8, 9
=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================
* "Myrtle Beach Vacation" by tonytony3 (husband/wife fantasy). Bitbard:
10,10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577101254
* "Life Cycle of the Kaelen" by Artie (sci fi interplanetary cultural
anthropology) 10, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514931925
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937748
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937766
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937785
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937805
* "How I Met Pat and Julie" by Mark Aster (hot threesome) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=214116074
* "Reciprocity" by Jacques LeBlanc (action romance) 19, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502120717
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502122891
* "Bill's Not-So-Secret Urge" by Admiral Cartwright (mm sex) 10, 10, 10
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569533180
* "Joanne and Lexi" by Admiral Cartwright (first time ff sex) 10, 9, 9
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=512488651
=====================
Here are the Reviews:
=====================
"The Blueblood Slut" by DrSpin (drspin@newsguy.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579855431
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579855436
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=579869761
If such a combination weren't extremely improbable, I would think this was a
Victorian novel about sex written by Henry James. But if that were true, I
would be staying awake through an entire Henry James story for the first time
in my life!
A gentleman named Blue is a personal secretary for Jane, the wife of an
important member of British society who also possesses remarkable beauty.
Blue, of course, is deeply in love with his Mistress. He admires her chastely
from afar, and he grows very close to her, since (in his position as personal
secretary) he must practically get inside her head when he writes things for
her or represents her to the public.
So Jane's husband and son both die in a plane crash. Then Lady Jane discloses
to Blue that she has been a closet slut. Now that she is a widow, she intends
to abandon her noble life and become a fulltime slut. Many a bad story has
been based on that premise, but this author pulls it off effectively. To find
out how the author accomplishes this, you'll have to read the story.
Ratings for "The Blueblood Slut"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Tending Bar" by Sidney Durham (SidneyDurham@springmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582048460
The narrator is apparently a hooker who is discussing her last client of the
night with Oscar the bartender. The client said he could have just fucked her
at the bar, if she would have simply bent over; and nobody would have
noticed. Then they put the concept to an empirical test.
This was an interesting little episode.
Ratings for "Tending Bar"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Payback" by Ann Douglas (ann_douglas@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577073026
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577294830
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577135626
I reviewed the "final" story written by Ann Douglas last week. This one was
posted slightly before "After Hours." So even though Ann is gone
(temporarily, I hope), she'll live on for a little while, while I wrap up a
few more of her stories.
Jim is an editor and photographer for his high school newspaper. He stumbles
across the paper's faculty advisor having sex with the athletic director in
his office after school. Jim snaps some clandestine, candid photos. So Jim
develops the pictures, jacks off several times over them, and wonders what
use he can make of the pictures.
The next day Miss Ferguson serves as substitute teacher in English class and
gives Jim a hard-on in front of the whole class, much to the amusement of the
other kids. English teachers often do that sort of thing. Embarrass kids
unnecessarily in front of their peers, I mean – usually by pointing out their
grammar errors in a way that undermines their self esteem.
How will Jim get even with this crib-robbing cock-teaser?
How, indeed.
Ratings for "Payback"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Flights of Fancy" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581367078
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581367085
Rick is 28 and in love with Leslie, who has not yet "come of age" in the
state of New York. Instead of engaging her in kiddy-sex, they wait for her
seventeenth birthday to come. In the interim, he amuses her and
builds/releases their sexual tension with sexy stories – flights of fancy
about what the future holds for them.
Since Rick is a horse-breeder, these stories include a focus on animal sex –
stallions with mares and things like that. But with "flights" and "preludes"
the author gives us a tantalizing picture of their future life as lovers.
The story can be described as advanced sex education or prenuptial
counseling. It's a very interesting approach to a sex story, and I doubt that
I have done it justice here.
I urge you to take a look at this story.
Ratings for "Flights of Fancy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Ruthie's Smile" by Jack of All Trades (tradesjackofall@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=580178653
John lost his wife to cancer two years ago and has been mourning ever since.
Now his sister has fixed him up on a blind date with Ruthie, whose smile
gives us the title of this story. John resists, but succumbs.
It turns out that Ruthie has more than a smile going for her. Like, there's a
wet dream behind that smile. It turns out that Ruthie has also lost a spouse
to a tragic death.
If you're looking for torture, slavery, or even mild humiliation, this story
will be the pits. It's a real romantic heart-warmer. I loved it.
Ratings for "Ruthie's Smile"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"My First Time" by Paris Waterman (the_panda@hotmail.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=551039545
First Dick {not his real name} participates in a cock measuring contest at
the supermarket. You know, one of those deals where guys place their love
rockets side by side on the butcher block and the judge declares one or the
other to be the winner. Of course, a young lady who won him in the lottery
helps get him ready for his moment in the sun.
Our hero measures in at 9.25 inches – give or take a millimeter. He's also
"seven and one-eighth inches thick." I think that means circumference. Since
I studied math in an American school, I don't know too much about geometry;
but I don't think a penile diameter that size exists on a white boy. Our hero
shares the championship with Black Bart – losing in length, but winning in
girth.
So he becomes popular – a legend in his own time, in the supermarket, at
least. For example, the sexy chick from the dairy section asks him what time
her gets off. Actually, he gets off about ten minutes after he gets off.
The story probably has some imperfections in the plot, but I was somehow in
too good a mood to notice. The sex is really pretty hard. That was a Freudian
slip – I meant the sex was pretty HOT. The author concludes by offering us
the promise of a sequel – to be entitled "My Second Time." Imagine that.
Ratings for "My First Time"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"From a chat room to this" by Deacon of Blue (deacon_blue_2000@my-deja.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=564768988
The man and woman meet in a chat room and then get together for real sex.
After an initial coupling, they devote the second day to the "Science
Experiment," which consists of her spending the day walking around with Ben
Wa balls inside her pussy. The Experiment is quite successful.
I enjoyed this story.
I am going to take this opportunity to digress. I often get raked over the
coals by people who crap on me for being insensitive to the inner dynamics
and benefits of bondage and slavery stories. I am often accused of "picking
on lifestyles" instead of reviewing stories.
All I try to say in these infamous, derogatory reviews is that I don't see
how being cruel to people or willingly accepting degradation are signs of
love or sexiness. I have known probably 100 people who engage really
enthusiastically in either humiliating their sexual partners or wanting to be
humiliated; and 95 of them are genuine nut cases. Do I think these people
have personality problems? Certainly.
That leaves the other five. These are reasonably sane people – at least as
sane as I think I am – who superficially seem to be engaging in cruelty or
degradation, but are really doing something quite different. They are
apparently following what I have heard referred to as "the three cardinal
rules of the BDSM community" – that the activity be "safe, sane, consensual."
{I might add that I have a little trouble classifying as "consensual" the
submissive activity of a person who is tricked into being degraded for the
personal aggrandizement of a selfish sexual partner.}
All I ask is that when I read a story, it make sense to me as a non-BDSMer.
If a person wants to go off and write a story that recites the liturgy of
bdsm in such a way that only bdsm aficionados can see the beauty in it, then
the author should say that and spare the rest of us the bullcrap insinuation
that we are being intolerant when we say this activity sounds dysfunctional.
It's kind of like when a non-Catholic reads a story about a traditional
Catholic seeing meaning in the act of receiving communion. The non-Catholic
is likely to be confused about the insistence that the person is "eating the
body and blood of Jesus." That certainly sounds like cannibalism. A Catholic
would understand the story, even if he/she disagreed with the traditionalist
interpretation of the sacrament. But if the author intended the story for an
audience of people not familiar with the Catholic doctrine of
transubstantiation and Real Presence, that author would either have to (1) do
something to give the readers that framework, (2) expect the readers to trot
off and acquire this information on their own, or (3) assume that the
non-understanding readers will make little sense of that story.
What I am suggesting is that a very large number of people who are writing
bondage, slavery, and humiliation stories are making the mistake of thinking
their framework makes sense to more readers than is really the case. I mean
this criticism in a kind way – I wish they would write their stories in such
a way as to clarify to naïve people like me why this kind of activity is sexy
or loving. {Of course, in the back of my mind, I suspect that if the authors
took a close look at this activity, they would say, "Ooops! That's not as
sexy as I though it was when I was reciting my liturgical formula about
bondage or slavery."}
Do I think the "lifestyle" expressed in these stories sucks? Yes – unless
there is something more to that lifestyle than is expressed in those stories.
I mean that in exactly the same sense that a person would say that the
Catholic belief in the Real Presence is idiotic – unless the person who
expresses that belief believes something different than what a lot of honest
listeners/readers think that the person expressing that belief means.
{Note that I have NOT suggested that people who fantasize about or enjoy
reading stories about things they would not actually do are leading a
dysfunctional lifestyle. That's a different matter completely. All I am doing
is commenting on why I think the stories are bad. I am saying nothing at all
about the lifestyles of people who read or write these stories.}
I have no problem at all with the bdsm expressed in the present story. I
think the idea of building anticipation by withholding sexual pleasure and
controlling a person in a dominating way that eventually leads that person to
great heights of pleasure makes a great deal of sense. The reason I gave this
story less than perfect ratings is because I think the story could have been
written a little better – by clarifying various aspects of the plot and
making the character development a little more authentic.
As a final comment, I'll reiterate that I don't have to admire the behavior
expressed in a story in order to enjoy it. The next story I review is about a
young boy who blackmails and seduces an older woman. I don't recommend this
activity at all, but the author presents it in a way that enables me to see
why the participants would enjoy it. The presentation enables me to suspend
my preferences about the way the world should be and to enjoy the story
without having to deal with the little voice in the back of my mind saying,
"This doesn't even make sense." That's all I ask from stories that display or
even endorse behaviors and values that differ from my own. I think that's a
reasonable expectation.
This is actually a pretty good story. {This author does NOT make the mistake
against which I ranted in the preceding paragraphs.}
Ratings for "From a chat room to this"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Mrs. Burns" by E.Z. Riter (ezriter@pdq.net).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=581351651
The teenager has been dating a neighbor girl his own age, but it is her
mother he really lusts after. The mom is not all that excited about the
prospect, but the boy has access to certain information, the disclosure of
which might be embarrassing or even disconcerting to the older woman, and
hence she decides that cooperation is the better part of valor.
Actually, it turns out that Mom had a fairly strong hankering to get fucked
to begin with. All she needed was a nudge to get her started.
The young lad is very persuasive. He has skills that might make him an
effective lawyer some day.
Now here's the surprise: there's a lot more to the story than what I've told
you so far – lots of interesting twists and turns in the plot.
I think some things moved a little too quickly. For example, blackmail really
doesn't work this simply in real life.
But it's a nice little fantasy.
Ratings for "Mrs. Burns"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Watch Where You Put Your Hands" by DrSpin
(Neil.Dibbs@PARL.CHIEFMIN.nt.gov.au).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=548985723
Back on November 15 of last year Dr. Spin posted this first "uncommon
behavior story." Since that time this author has posted several other good
stories. I pride myself in having had the insight to set this story aside at
that time, even though I have not got around to reading it until nearly three
months later.
This story is written in a redundant, meandering style – which is fine, since
the narrator is slightly intoxicated.
Anyway, Uncle Mike (the desultory drunk) wanders into the kitchen, where he
stops himself just before he begins to make unwarranted manual overtures to
(i.e., grope) the breasts of his friend's nubile and potentially libidinous
daughter, who is taken aback and asks him what he is doing. Gaining some
composure, he says that he meant no harm: her bra simply must have magnets.
Of course, magnets attract specific metals, not hands; and she isn't wearing
a bra anyway.
Alas! We have a contradiction here. Next thing we know, our amiable
dipsomaniac is trying to guess the young lady's bust size, and then he tries
to read it from the label on her bra – which we just established was
non-existent. Such contradictions could be lethal; but, as I said, the guy is
already five or six sheets to the wind, and the sexual tension is developing
nicely in spite of apparent paradoxes. I think there's a guy named
Shroedinger who has a theory on breast and bras of this sort. Or at least one
of my classmates thought he did.
Well, it turns out the young lady had seen Our Hero humping her mother
several years ago. This experience instilled in her bosom grisly fantasies –
er, girlish fantasies – and expectations about sex that have not yet been
fulfilled.
The rest is inevitable. Our Hero sends her home without fucking her. Yeah,
right. Well, you'll have to read the story to find out. It's a very sexy
story.
Ratings for "Watch Where You Put Your Hands"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"Hotel Encounter" by the first elf (elf-01@elf-11.freeserve.co.uk). Guest
review by Homer Vargas.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=548047676
"Hotel Encounter" purports to be and reads like a real incident. Told from
the POV of a man who has checked into a hotel, it recounts the visit to his
room of the pretty receptionist. The story contains some interesting
internal monologue as the couple couples. The description is quite detailed,
more so than needed to move the action along, giving the story a "how-to"
feel. The story, like most incidents of life, ends without coming to a
conclusion. This makes for a very realistic feel, but for a somewhat
unsatisfying "story." To paraphrase Borges, "Reality may elude the
obligation to be interesting; stories may not."
I have communicated with the author who swears he really did make this all
up. I believe him and my admiration rose. He fooled me.
There are a few punctuation problems which distract but do not seriously
impede comprehension. Still, an outside proofreader could have helped.
Ratings for "Hotel Encounter"
Athena 9
Venus 8
Homer 6
"Tales of the Golden Mule" by Artie (artie@netgate.net). Guest Review by
BillyG (hayden@mindless.com).
The Beginning
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563956882
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563956891
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563978728
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=563759675
Miss Yellow
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565208417
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220489
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220500
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=565220510
Searching for Miss Brown
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601466
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601476
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567601484
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567616092
Finding a New Life
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340149
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340134
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570340122
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356833
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356861
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570356845
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=570378855
First, "Tales of the Golden Mule" is not a short story; it's a tome, a long,
long tale that comprises more than 144,000 words over almost 19,000 lines.
It doesn't lend itself to a casual read.
Second, it's not easily characterized as a story type, save that it's not
primarily a sexy story. There are sex scenes in the story, but in many ways,
they're incidental to a bigger story. One might think of it as a romance
wrapped in a mystery. The protagonist's wife, Nancy, was cheating with
another male, John. They're killed straight away in an auto accident. This
pulls the cuckold couple, Bill and Nancy together and into a slowly evolving
tapestry of deception and mystery surrounding the deceased husband's many
affairs and financial dealings.
The story is rich in detail, a bit more than I can easily digest, for some of
it foreshadows important developments but more appear to serve as filler or
story culs-de-sac. I found myself taking notes to keep track of the players.
The pace is leisurely, not-quite rambling, but I often wondered where's this
going?
Bill, the protagonist, is a good man, warm-hearted and almost pure of heart.
He doesn't even drink coffee. So it's a little jarring when he his new
girlfriend appear to have a strong attraction to gasses like nitrous oxide
and halothane. The author speaks knowledgeably of the hypnotic effects of
nitrous and oxygen mixtures but drifts into science fiction when speaking of
halothane. A whiff of an anesthetic gas will not incapacitate any
<instantly> = no matter how powerful, for it to have effect on the central
nervous system it must be absorbed and make the route to the lungs, heart and
then the body - the so-called circulation time. Admittedly, that's a
niggling point.
I think there's a very good story buried in here but the unearthing is a
chore.
Ratings for "Tales of the Golden Mule"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8 (Too long and slow)
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 7 (It's be a 9 if shorter)
'Indigo' by Nicholas Urfe (nickurfe@yahoo.com). Guest Review by Admiral
Cartwright.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=525022331
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=525937222
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=529671916
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=539355456
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=558370029
The title character does not even tell the reader who she is - and even then,
not quite - until very near the end of this mini-novel, based somewhere in a
century long past. In fact, the majority of her 'scratches on parchment' are
billed as prologue; her actual story almost an afterthought with several
aborted beginnings and no true end.
A woman who would be a man (for reasons hinted, but not entirely explained),
born of prostitution, almost a madam but with her charges kept as her own,
Indigo 'rescues' two young girls from a father poor enough to sell one
daughter but, as if to lessen his guilt, not both.
That which she teaches 'her girls' begins in her own guilt, following a
tragic turn; in turn, it teaches Indigo new things about people she thought
she knew even as she awaits her impending demise - again unexplained, but at
which a reader can wage a fair guess.
Urfe is flawless in written word, well steeped in the period; the sex,
graphic, but without unnecessary linger; the story, gripping, if not entirely
satisfying in its resolve.
That, however, appears to be the author's intent.
A warning: the girls' father does not accept the circumstances and two lives
are lost in the fray. Indigo's first act with one girl amounts to rape. Some
drugs later lead the sisters to share carnal knowledge; but the scene as
presented is not entirely NC.
Also, this story is quite long; for those with the requisite patience,
though, it is a tale worthy of your attention. And of mine.
Ratings for 'Indigo':
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Admiral (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Contractor's Seduction" by Tonytony3. Review by Nick (e-mail
nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=567569147
This is about how a mans reaction to the idea, and then the fact, of another
man screwing his wife. The man in question is a contractor hired to do some
building work, and of course he gets hot and sweaty, and needs to use the
washroom to clean up. The wife sabotages the downstairs washroom so he has to
wash upstairs in their bedroom, where the husband is lying await, weapon in
hand! Of course one thing leads to another and I need say no more.
This is actually very lovingly written with the writer is a clear enthusiast
for his subject. The only problem I have with this is that the idea of
watching my wife screw another man fills me with the kind of horror reserved
for the idea of drinking beer laced with ground glass. The initial experience
might be fun, but the consequences are lethal.
Still, if you are into wife watching, this one is a must.
My marks for this are:
Athena (technique) 9
Venus (plot/character) 8
Appeal to me 5
"The Boy Veteran" by Varangian (kesper@nls.net). Guest Review by Admiral Cartw
right)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=559977538
I've been accused once of being in "an all-fired hurry." That particular
story, however, was designed as a short stroke piece.
Here, I spent the entire time wondering which Reader's Digest editor had
gotten hold of Varangian's latest. It reads like a novel, but one written
with all the care of someone who had only the time to write one chapter and
knew it going in.
It was with a wry grin, therefore, that I read the following passage:
"Slow down, baby. We have time. Do you have an overnight pass?"
"I have a weekend pass."
"Oooh," Anna squealed in delight. "We have the whole weekend..."
In the end, I like a good cliffhanger as much as anyone; but I need to care
enough about the characters or the plot development to want to see the
resolution.
I don't particularly care to see the resolution.
Ratings for 'The Boy Veteran':
Athena (technical quality): 8.5
Venus (plot and character): 5
Admiral (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Annie's Revenge" by Deacon of Blue (deacon_blue_2000@my-deja.com). Guest
review by Dave Myers.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569544955
This is one of those "true account" stories. Sometimes these work on their
own, with a sort of voyeuristic, I'm-reading-your-diary appeal. Other times,
the format is a bit self-indulgent, and doesn't fit the erotic story genre at
all. So, is it fair to critique the *writing* of a "true account"? I'll try
to address this, with due perspective.
I have to say, I much prefer such accounts when they resemble the style (not
the content, god help us) of a Penthouse Forum-esque confessional. There is
sometime to be said for building up the reader into thinking they are getting
a special look inside your life. When it's just laid out there without any
dressing up, well, the reader stops feeling so special. With that said,
Annie's Revenge doesn't try to be coy at all, but just strings the events
together:
(example)
>From the Video store we went to a grocery store, Dave's the
typical bachelor, empty fridge, and very pitiful house keeping,
so I aimed to lull him into false sense of domesticity.
Now, I'm not going to sit here and suggest that Annie'd be better off making
stuff up instead of writing things out this way, but maybe she could take a
page from Mark Twain. Clemens might have claimed that his jumping frog story
was as true as the day is long, and it might even have been based on a little
fact. But it's certainly the case that it was a lot more enjoyable to read
because he spruced things up with some mostly harmless poetic license.
I'm neither suggesting that writers of true accounts be judged on wholely
different nor wholely identical criteria than authors of erotic fiction. But
here's a gentle suggestion: A lot of would-be true accounters might consider
a little Mark Twain-ing of their life histories before posting them.
As for 'plot', a large part of the story involves Annie getting Dave to
become a good friends with a sex toy of the "for-him" variety. That's pretty
cool on it's own, as few stories really explore this to a large degree. As a
pure d/s story, it ranks pretty tame indeed, though. Thus, the story tag of
the original text might be misleading for some people.
Unfortunately, I have to say that poor punctuation and proofing really made
it harder for me to enjoy this piece (see the excerpt above for an example).
Although the author claims to have had collaborative help and outside readers
that offered input, a lot of things slipped by. I was staring at the
punctuation marks too often, removing commas here and there, and trying to
decode the authors' symbols meant to designate a change of narrator. In
general, it's better to just tell the reader straight out "Ok, now... Dave's
point of view:" rather than try to use html-like markup meant to make it seem
less abrupt. There is no easy way to do it if you insist on changes in p.o.v.
{No numerical rating.}
"Desert Rendezvous" by Very Horni (VeryHorni). Guest Review by Mary Jorsay
Gandmar (maryjg@finebody.com).
Very Horni returns to the newsgroups after a year with a terrific new story.
Montana is a professor of archaeology (visiting professor at Harvard, yet!)
and, in some Middle Eastern city (Cairo?), encounters a sultry, sexy siren
who promises to take him to the tomb of the Caliph of Muzareh. They arrange
to meet outside the city at dusk, at an old oasis - hence the title. What
follows is passionate, steamy, turbo-charged sex.
With enviable brevity, the author creates a stunning atmosphere, almost
cinematic in its lucidity but without tedious descriptive paragraphs. One
feels the heat, the sense of openness and there are vistas that, unstated,
linger in mind. At the same time, the author succeeds in giving the
relationship between the two some real substance and depth. These are not
mere copulating automatons - they are people, they have a past, they share a
bond, they have feelings. All this comes through with great economy. Best of
all, there's a streak of wry humor in the narrative and that gives it a
gentleness, a human touch. We have here a talented author, skilled in her (or
is it his?) craft, not obsessed with giving us long and dreary histories of
the characters. This is what a short story should be - a slice of time,
caught au moment critique and rendered effortlessly in broad brushstrokes.
Not to be missed.
{No numerical rating.}
"Elegy" by Richard Rivers (richard_rivers@hotmail.com). Guest review by
Fiddler
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=578495754
Richard Rivers seems to concentrate on stories of sexual encounters between
Asian women and American men. He writes a series involving Yoko, who came to
the USA from Japan, and her US-born daughter, Michiko.
This story, which stands alone, is a letter from Yoko to her lover, Brian.
It describes a sexy encounter on a crowded subway train. She uses that
encounter as a springboard to describe past encounters
with Brian and with others. (One of these is Mf petting, unmentioned in RR's
story codes.) The letter was enjoyably arousing.
Guest vocabulary lesson:
An elegy is a poem in praise of the dead or otherwise in a mournful
tone. This story isn't. As the subway becomes an "El" train near
the end, I suspect that the title is a pun.
The epistolary style provides two advantages. The wandering
stream-of-consciousness narrative, which could be annoying if addressed to
us, adds verisimilitude to the letter form. People do write their lovers in
streams of consciousness.
Also, any errors or oddities can be attributed to Yoko rather than the
author. One oddity involves paragraphing. Some paragraphs are separated
from others by blank lines, others are indented two spaces and not separated.
I think that the strangers rubbing against each other in "complimentary
rhythm" was an error, though the rhythm of the man might be a compliment to
the attractiveness of the woman. A "complement," that which fills up what
the other leaves out, might be what was meant. However, that doesn't quite
fit the situation either.
So the Athena score might grade Yoko, rather than the author.
Ratings for "Elegy":
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 10
"Gotta Have That Beat" by Otzchiim (otzchiim@aol.com). Reviewed by Fiddler.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582932169
Amid all the "free verse" and broken-line prose that are posted in ASSM as
poetry, Otzchiim has given us a Petrarchan sonnet. It rhymes, it scans, it
offends (at least me).
Two strangers meet and are irresistably attracted. They find a (very) little
privacy. They come together. All of this is expressed in fairly poetic (if
remarkably modern, "from where") language until the last line. There, the
author introduces a rank
crudity.
As I said, he offended me. I think he intended to. And the last score
reports on the effectiveness of the story.
Ratings for "Gotta Have That Beat"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Fiddler (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Donna" by John Jameson (j_jameson1780@mindless.com). Guest Review by BillyG
(hayden@mindless.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582220277
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231870
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231873
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582231875
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243631
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243636
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=582243638
"Donna" might best be described as a romantic coming of age at the University
of Missouri in the early 70's. The story's protagonist, Mike, as a freshman
becomes a co-student director of birth control counseling center along with a
sophomore, Barb Gruener. But it's another freshman who catches his eye, an
attractive brunette named Donna. She is characterized as a cute, 13-year-old
Shirley Temple from the neck up and a major sex bomb from the neck down, but
with a personality of an open and friendly, innocent virgin. Once again we're
given the opportunity not to judge a book by its cover.
This story is by no means a slam-bam quickie. To the contrary, it's a long
tale with a file size of 71K and 13,000 words which, the author tells us in a
concluding note, "Donna, Mike, and Barb will return. Their story is just
beginning."
"Donna" is rich in detail and that attention initially is centered on Mike
and Donna's attempts to find a place to get it on. The assumption - correct
as it turns out - is that they will. I mean, after all, this is a sex story,
right? Still, it takes some considerable effort before they're successful in
finding a place where they're free to assume the horizontal.
Another dimension is added to the story when we discover that Donna is
friends with Barb. Thereafter direction of the story is foreshadowed, but
the route is nonetheless charming to read and the sex is hot.
Clearly, the story can be viewed as complete and stand that way. That
there's more to come adds a touch of excitement and expectation to this
near-vanilla tale.
Ratings for "Donna"
Athena (technical quality) : 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Dreams Come True" by Individa (individa@aol.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=523123886
In "Dreams Come True" Diana, a mature-beyond-her-years high school girl, with
a crush on forty-six-year-old Mark finally gets the courage to tell him.
Since this is a dream come true, he responds that he has been waiting for her
to grow up. Now he doesn’t have to wait any longer. And he doesn’t. As you
might guess, he is a wonderful lover.
In addition to the minimal plot (even a romance needs a little more drama
than the discovery of a mutual passion), there is far too much telling and
not enough showing of Diana’s thoughts. "Diana had had several lovers before,
none of which led her to extremely satisfying relationships." The sex is
hot, but the dialogue is a little stilted. "Oh, you're nearing your crisis,
my darling, I want to see you come with my cock inside of you...you know
I've had a vasectomy, so it's good...because when you come all over my cock,
I think I'm going to coat your insides with my cum."
Still, there are vivid scenes and turns of phrase that show a promising
author. She (I’m assuming) could craft her plot and language better, but I
hope she will post again. Read this and you can say "I knew her when."
Ratings for "Dreams Come True"
Athena 7
Venus 7
Homer 9
"Breakup" by Jack of All Trades"(tradesjackofall@hotmail.com ). Guest review
by Dave Myers.
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=574799848
"Breakup" is a well written story that draws out a single encounter and
delivers its punch. From the beginning, you'll essentially be able to guess
the arc of the plot, which isn't a bad thing in this case, but heightens the
expectations. The premise is simple: a young guy about to head off to school
is working on extracting himself from a relationship. But his girlfriend sics
her feminine charms on him, and he is helpless to resist. She is, predictably
pissed when his true intentions are revealed-- after the fact.
The story tells itself so much better than I just did that you just need to
read it. Great short piece by an author I've not heard of before. Hope to see
more -and longer- from him.
{No numerical rating}
"Landscaping" by Felix Phile (felixphile@hotmail.com). Guest review by Nick
(e-mail nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk).
Technically, this story is about paedophilia, since the girl in question is
13. She is, however, a big 13, and the writer makes it perfectly clear that
she has the build of a fully grown woman. So why, in a story, should the
writer need to make her so young? What are the buttons he is trying to press?
The girl in question, has the naivete of a 13 year old, and we are told how
she tries to attract the young student, who has been hired to do her garden,
in order to gain experience of the world.
The story has a great deal of background and depth, and way she overdresses
at first, and then, taking the students advice and downplays it a bit, is
quite charming. This has to be offset, slightly by the fact that she is
wearing a pad in readiness for her period, but then this adds to the depth.
So the button being pressed, is a rite of passage/loss of innocence one,
rather than 'hey, aren't little kids great to bonk!' much to my relief.
A good story.
Athena(Technical) 10
Venus (Plot/character) 10
Appeal 9
"The Guy in the Aisle Seat" by Ficklesque@aol.com
review by Anne747 (Anon747@aol.com)
There's little I can say about this story without giving too much away. (So,
stop now if you don't want to know.) On the surface, a couple spend yet
another boring night at the movies. While Bob is engrossed in the film,
Alice makes a new friend. It turns out that Alice's friend isn't new, and
she's acting out a fantasy. I just can't believe that Bob is this
brain-dead. As far as fantasies go though, a dark theatre is probably a
common one. It is a fast, hot, sexy story. In my younger years I think I
preferred drive-ins though ;)
Ratings for "The Guy in the Aisle Seat"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Anne747 (appeal to reviewer): 9
=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================
* "Myrtle Beach Vacation " by tonytony3 (tonytony3@juno.com). Guest review by
BitBard (bitbard@newsguy.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=577101254
Hmm. Here's an interesting dilemma. Celeste has sent me a story to review
that is complete and intact yet is basically unreadable because it uses smart
quotes that come across as really weird characters on the screen. Now ASSM
and Dejanews have this story, but only the first part and in a browser the
story is readable (though I still hate smart quotes). Since the second
part is unpublished at the time of this review I will review the first part
only. This is not a problem since the first part can stand on it's own as a
complete story.
Dotty and Bob are married. Dotty has just taken a company sponsored
assertiveness training course. Dotty is a new woman -- asking things and
doing things quite unlike her usual demure self. One of the things she asks
is if Bob has ever screwed around. Wow! Talk about assertive! Well since
their marriage is so solid they both admit to coming close but never doing
the deed. Then they describe in detail what happened.
Bob had been sitting in the airport with a business acquaintance and her
husband when the woman drags his hand up her thigh and lo and behold her
husband's right there too! Bob begged off and ran home to Dotty. Now Dotty
got the ol' sexual harassment at the office treatment and got quite a handful
(if I were the guy I'da sued for sexual harassment for leaving me hanging
like that.) So then Dotty and Bob go and act out Dot's encounter and have
heaps of fun. So much fun in fact that they begin to wonder what to do about
acting out Bob's encounter? That, dear reader, is a question for part two.
You'll be much better off reading this story in your browser, following the
links above than in your newsreaders. The smart quotes make the story very
unreadable in native Usenet form. If you do read this story in your browser
I think you'll be pleasantly surprised. The sexy talk and re-enactment
between husband and wife is very hot and quite provocative. The two men one
women element will add a touch of the taboo but in part one it shouldn't
cause any serious problems for guys (or gals) who like things one-on-one.
Ratings for "Myrtle Beach Vacation "
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Bitbard (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Life Cycle of the Kaelen" by Artie (artie@netgate.net).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514931925
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937748
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937766
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937785
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=514937805
{Artie has posted a revised version of this story. I haven’t had time to
review the new version, but I am reposting my original review. It is possible
that some parts of this review are no longer valid.}
This is a long story – over 46,000 words. If you're looking for a high rate
of titillation per 1000 words, this story may not be your best bet. However,
if you are interested in a complex, detailed science fiction story with some
good sex thrown in, this may be the story for you.
This story is written as a dry scientific report submitted by interplanetary
explorers. Dale and Ellen are husband and wife, a planetary ecologist and a
cultural anthropologist, who have traveled to a distant planet to study the
culture there as participant observers.
They discover a matriarchal society where lovemaking is glorious. The word
"delirium" is used a lot. It is a Utopian world, where large insects interact
with the natives to provide sexual pleasure as well as to control other
emotions and cognitive functions.
The sex occurs in the person-to-person mode: the people don't fuck the bugs.
This process is managed through a sort of pheromone-based classical
conditioning that would make Pavlov role over on his metronome. At a certain
point we begin to wonder who's controlling whom.
Having sex is with the kaelen is kind of like driving a really great car with
stick shift. First the kaelen move the participants into a comfort zone, then
they shift to passion, and then to whatever seems like a good idea at the
moment, before eventually easing them into a restful sleep. The amount of
power and control the kaelen exercise is both considerable and interesting.
Then there is also a swarm of moths with hallucinogenic aphrodisial powers.
Our researchers immerse themselves in the culture, and a good time is had by
all.
The story is not merely unbridled hedonism; it also strives to emulate a
serious anthropological study. This is an interesting format, but it also has
the undesirable effect of sometimes slowing the action down a little too
much. In addition, although the story reveals wondrous things, it sometimes
doesn't build the reader's anticipation of these revelations as effectively
as it could.
Overall, this is a good story – if you have some time to spend on it and if
you want a little more than continuously arousing descriptions of sex.
Ratings for "Life Cycle of the Kaelen"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "How I Met Pat and Julie" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=214116074
{Mark Aster is reposting this whole series. I doubt that I'll be able to
repost all the reviews. However, I thought that reviewing this first story
might help give this series the attention the stories deserve.}
"The younger of the Allen sisters soaped my stomach and thighs with a warm
washcloth while the elder, lying naked on the bed, masturbated lazily with a
blue dildo, and told erotic stories in between orgasms. My cock had been
hard in a relaxed comfortable way for some time, and the gentle rubbing of
the rough wet cloth on my thighs and balls was driving me slowly crazy." So
starts the pilot episode of Mark Aster's "My Friends the Allens".
The "Allen Sister" stories are loosely connected. I understand there are now
about 20 of them. There is every indication that there will be at least 20
more. I hope so. The combined stories do not add up to a novel; the best
comparison I can make is a sitcom. But since the stories are predominantly
erotic rather than funny, perhaps a better analogy would be a porno version
of an American soap opera. What I mean by this is that readers can start at
any point in the series and even skip episodes without losing the continuity
of the story. While doing so, readers can still enjoy both each separate
story and the combined series, while developing a sort of friendship with the
characters.
The unnamed Hero/Narrator of these stories is a typical soap stud. If he
lived in Salem or Aramid, he would be John Black or Bo Brady; but instead of
having two middle aged women fighting over his favors or wrestling over which
bride he should keep, our Hero is resigned to the quiet existence of
servicing his two lovely friends, while the three of them unselfishly extend
their favors into the world around them. While John and Bo frown a lot, Our
Hero groans even more. Like John, he has no obvious means of earning a
living; he just accompanies the girls to expensive resorts or attends parties
at exclusive mansions and pleasantly groans and reciprocates ad infinitum.
He is pleasantly insatiable, the kind of boytoy that even Madonna and her
Evil Twin working as a tag team could not exhaust.
Logically, I should have read this story first in the series; but I didn't
know it existed until now. Finding it was like coming across the pilot story
for a sitcom I had grown to love. The Friendly Threesome were quite at home
in my mind's eye as they fucked and sucked their way through this initial
episode. It's a really hot one. Somehow I'm glad I read it out of order; it
was almost as much fun as the time I found the John Black FAQ on the World
Wide Web.
Ratings for "How I Met Pat and Julie"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Reciprocity" by Jacques LeBlanc (fader2011@my-deja.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502120717
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=502122891
Sam Goldberg has just rescued from a fate worse than death a young woman who
turns out to be movie star Natalie Portman. The now deceased thugs who were
going to rape and probably kill her were members of a neo-Nazi hate group. In
fact, they were going to make a snuff movie with her as the star.
After he kills her tormentors, Sam and Natalie listen to Billy Joel music and
discuss Heinlein novels. Then they eat Hummus and tabouli salad in pita
pockets, which Sam prepares. This guy is a Renaissance knight in shining
armor. Then they discuss her movie career. Then, amidst references to James
Thurber and Georgia O'Keefe, they make love. The sexual action is pretty
good, and the set-up within the plot makes it even better.
All the while I was reading this story, I was wondering, "What if the bad
guys have the phone tapped?" You see, I was waiting for some REAL
reciprocity. As it is, this story is sort of fan fiction about a guy who
saves the life of a famous person and she does him the favor of sleeping with
him. That's not really reciprocity. I suspect there is more reciprocity down
the line somewhere in future chapters.
A natural question is whether the vigilante action in this story is legal.
The answer is no, it is not. If one of your friends or loved ones is raped
and murdered, you are supposed to let the police track down the culprits and
arrest them. However, you are allowed to offer a reward and hire private
detectives to obtain information that might be helpful to the police. {This
is what O.J. Simpson has done to find the real killer of his former wife.
O.J. is not allowed to track down and kill the real killer, since this would
constitute suicide or some similar crime.} On the other hand, this sort of
vigilante action is entirely permissible within the rules of Hollywood and
pulp fiction. If the author wants to write a more realistic story, he should
either build a better rationale for the justifiable assassinations or have
the noble assassin continue to maintain his anonymity from the people who are
likely to prosecute him.
In a sense, this author has "blown it" by asking for a review of a story that
is not finished. I rarely have time to review a story a second or third time,
and it's probably best to wait till the whole thing is posted before
requesting a review. I understand that authors want and need feedback, but
authors also have to understand that there are a lot of stories out there.
It's neither practical nor fair to give repeated reviews to just a few
stories.
But on the other hand, this review will give this story some of the publicity
it deserves. I certainly recommend taking a look at it.
Ratings for "Reciprocity"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Bill's Not-So-Secret Urge" by Admiral Cartwright
(admcartwright@my-Deja.com).
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=569533180
I don't review a lot of stories that deal with male homosexuality. The reason
is simple: I'm a heterosexual female; and if I am going to be motivated at
least partly by what turns me on, male homosexuality themes just aren't
likely to do the trick. So I usually just go about my life, ignoring mm
stories – except that this time the author mailed it to me and asked me to
review it for the Grand Opening of a.s.s.m. Oh well, que sera sera.
The story focuses on a man exchanging sexual favors with another man in a
booth where they are watching a porn video of guys having sex. While he's
engaged in this activity, he reflects back over the major milestones in his
sex-life with other men.
I didn't find this to be a turn-on, but I did find it to be very interesting.
A reasonable goal in reading this story would be to find out "how gay guys do
it." I really don't know how well this story helped me achieve that goal.
After all, I just reviewed a story about heterosexual couples coating
themselves with peach juice and switching partners during an orgy. I doubt
that anything very close to that has happens to the average heterosexual, and
I suspect that most gay guys don't have sex in booths at video stores either.
The guys in this story have cocks that range from 6.0 inches to 11.5 inches.
This leads me to believe that the author errs on the side of the sensational
– or at least the fascinating.
Anyway, the story deals with several interesting ideas that certainly must
influence male homosexual activity, including the likelihood of getting Aids
more likely by swallowing.
Even if the story is comprised of wild exaggerations, it had a tone of
authenticity that kept me interested. If you enjoy stories about male
homosexual activity, you may like this one even more than I did.
Ratings for "Bill's Not-So-Secret Urge"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Joanne and Lexi" by Admiral Cartwright
(admcartwright@starfleet.hotmail.com)
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=512488651
Joanne's best friend for fifteen years has just confessed she's bisexual- and
attracted to HER. So what we have here is a vivid description of the first
sexual encounter between the two, which occurs right after Lexi has revealed
her interest to her friend.
The sexual activity is extremely hot. There's not much plot, but then there's
not supposed to be much plot. If watching a sexy woman do it for the first
time with another woman who is really good at it sounds interesting to you,
you'll enjoy this little story.
Ratings for "Joanne and Lexi"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
<end>
--
Pursuant to the Berne Convention, this work is copyright with all rights
reserved by its author unless explicitly indicated.
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
| alt.sex.stories.moderated ----- send stories to: <story-submit@asstr.org> |
| FAQ: <http://assm.asstr.org/faq.html> Moderator: <story-admin@asstr.org> |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|Archive: <http://assm.asstr.org> Hosted by Alt.Sex.Stories Text Repository |
|<http://www.asstr.org>, an entity supported entirely by donations. |
+---------------------------------------------------------------------------+