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=-= Celestial Reviews #312: December 22, 1998 =-=
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I apologize for the delay in releasing this issue. A triple whammy of a
new promotion (and the increased workload as a result), a death in the
family, and of course the holidays conspired to delay this issue.
--BitBard
I'd like to welcome our new reviewers, Rosemerry and Phil to the CR and
tell them that as "new people" they are required to do my Christmas
shopping. (check the fine print in your Reviewer's Guide)
To avoid confusion and the "double-doing" of tasks, we have decided that
I will send out the story assignments and maintain the reviews and
BitBard will be taking care putting the CR together. All reviews should
be sent to me at review@missbehavin.pair.com. Hopefully this will end
the confusion as to where things should be sent.
Congratulations to Mr. & Mrs. Crimson Dragon on the safe arrival of
their baby girl.
-- Miss Behavin`
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=-= Resource Links =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
* ASSM -- Every story published to alt.sex.stories.moderated
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98
* ASSTR -- Alt.sex.stories text repository
http://www.asstr.org
* Free Story Site Index -- a guide to amateur erotica sites.
http://annejet.pair.com/fs-faq.html
* ASS FAQ - Frequently asked questions about alt.sex.stories
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17521.txt
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-= Bulletin Board =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
* If you're an author who needs a proof reader CR send mail to
proof@missbehavin.pair.com and we'll put you in touch with someone who
can help you polish your masterpiece.
* The CR is always looking for reviewers, if you like to read erotica
and you have the ability to form an opinion, you're qualified. Drop us
a line at I_wanna_be_a_reviewer@missbehavin.pair.com.
* Subscribe to the Net Authors and Creators Union Mailing List:
NACU-list-request@annejet.pair.com
Subject: Subscribe
* The CR's new email address is CR@bitbard.pair.com.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-= ~ Index ~ =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
~ The Reviews ~
"Dream" by Mark Aster
(dream sex) Morgan: 10, 9, 9
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17644.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417034536
"Teacher's Pet" by Sundance
{Teacher/Student Romance} Apuleius: 10, 9, 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424517
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424479
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424488
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424507
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424531
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424494
"The Hots For A Hooker" by J Boswell
{Sex with a hooker} Miles: 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17465.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17466.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17677.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=414434828
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=414434838
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417302909
"The French Maid" by Susan
(French Maid Sex) Sven: 9, 9, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17542.txt
"It Happened" by JohnDoe
(Experimental Sex) Miss B: 4, 4, 1
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417305410
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17695.txt
"Night Child" by QuantumLeap
(Vampire Sex) Rosemerry 7, N/A, 7
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417305415
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17696.txt
"By The Sea" by W. Winds
(Stranger Sex) Miss B: 9, 7, 7
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17539.txt
"Laura In Green" by Shon Richards
( ) Miss B: 10, 9, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17624.txt
Snow Angels (A Saucy Wench Adventure, #4) by Saucy Wench
( ) Rosemerry: 5, 6, 5
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17538.txt
"Fresh Produce" by Bernadette
( ) Miss Behavin`: 9, 9, 8
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17614.txt
"Mall Strut" by Maria Gozales
( ) Sundance: 8, 8, 8
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17555.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17556.txt
"Coming Home" by Little Devil
( ) Taltos: 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17619.txt
"After A Long Hard Day At The Computer" by Hotscribe
( ) Phil: 7, 5, 3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17581.txt
"After Work" by Hotscribe
(First Meeting) Miss B: 7, 4, 3
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17573.txt
"At the Chateau" By Firmament
{French Fuck} BitBard 7, 8, 8
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17645.txt
"I Wish It Did" by Jan Williams
( ) Nick: 8, 6, 6
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=416451543
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17585.txt
"Pandora's Box" by Adhara Law
(One Night Stand) Jean: 10, 8, 7
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17639.txt
~ Reposted Reviews ~
* "1997 Teen Blow Job Tournament" by Daphne Xu
(oral sex) Celeste: 9.5, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=279912118
* "Stocking Filler" by Bronwen
(Christmas magic) Celeste: 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17728.txt
~ On This Day In Celestial History ~
Celestial Reviews 1 - July 6, 1995
Compiled by: Apuleius (apuleius@poboxes.com)
* "Bank" by Deirdre
Celeste: 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346717760
* "Mother and Son" by Ann Douglas.
Celeste: 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308955968
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308955963
* "Art Museum" by Trane and Wildfire Paradise.
Celeste: 6.5
* "Amanda" by Grimalkin.
Celeste: 2
* "Surprise" by Damya.
Celeste: 5
* "AdventureLand" by Sue.
Celeste: 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358921882
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=-= ~ The Reviews ~ =-=
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"Dream" By Mark Aster
Email: MyFrThAl@aol.com
Web: http://users.aol.com/myfrthal/
Review by: Morgan Preece
This is a lovely little sequence with autoerotic, homoerotic and
heterosexual imagery. I think its only real fault is it wasn't really
long enough. <grin>
I enjoyed it. It stars Julie, who I believe is one of Mark Aster's long
running characters, and this adds to the story because I remembered
other stories with Julie in them as I read it. One of the advantages of
having a stable of characters to play with.
I found four typos and at least one awkward construction. A minimum of
technical problems in other words, although one of the typos would have
been caught by a spell checker.
There isn't a lot of character development but enough for the length of
the story and wattaya want, it's a dream.
I've liked some of Mark's stories a lot more than I like this one but
then even Sammy Sosa doesn't hit one out of the park every day.
Ratings for "Dream"
~> Pandora (Story Codes/genre): F / autoerotic
I hate giving codes to my stories, you can imagine how much I hate
giving them to other peoples stories. Fortunately, Mark coded this
one. Genre? Ok, I'll define Mark's stories as a genre, how's that?
~> Athena (technical quality): 10 Minor typos.
~> Venus (plot & character): 9 Plot? Not required.
~> Morgan (appeal to reviewer): 9 Not long enough, Mark.
~> Links: http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17644.txt
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"Teacher's Pet" by Sundance (sundance69@hotmail.com)
Email: sundance69@hotmail.com
Web: http://extra.newsguy.com/~suntales
Review by Apuleius (apuleius@poboxes.com)
The opening quote from this story - "Push!... CMON!...PUSH!!!!,"
suggests an event that should be far more commonly described in a.s.s.
stories, considering the wealth of procreational activities described
therein. But I digress.
The real recipient of these orders is one Kenton Darian, involved in the
far more mundane activity of weightlifting, and encouraged in his
efforts by a personal trainer. Kent was making large amounts of money as
a securities trader, but became disillusioned with the competitive work
environment and the toll taken on his health. He therefore decided to
give up his job and become, of all things, a teacher. His first
appointment is at Canyon High School, teaching algebra to seniors while
their normal teacher is away.
In his class are Jenna and Emily, two supposed friends with completely
different personalities. While Jenna is a flirt, wearing revealing
outfits and dating rich-but-dumb boys, Emily keeps to herself and is
outwardly not interested in anything but school and her great love,
photography. This ambitious (230K) story concerns how the lives of these
characters become intertwined.
In any longer story, the challenge for the author is to maintain the
reader's interest, while ensuring that the plot proceeds in a believable
way. Sundance fully succeeds with the first requirement, and almost
succeeds with the second. While the plot structure is generally
convincing, there are one or two threads which seem to remain
undeveloped, and a few examples of inconsistent character depiction,
particularly of Emily. There is very little evidence provided of a
friendship between Jenna and Emily beyond the statement of the fact.
Occasionally the dialogue could do with some work; it is generally
effective but sometimes leaves one with the impression that one is
reading a sitcom script:
>"But where do you get off being the wise one? I'm the teacher and you're the
>student, remember?"
>
>"Oh, you're the teacher alright. And what a teacher you are."
>They both laughed.
Moments like these can seem jarring in what is predominantly a serious,
emotional story.
Technical quality is very good, the only slips being infrequent lapses
in spelling.
These, however, are minor concerns in what is overall an above-average,
highly accomplished story. There are moments of real tenderness and
concern between Kent and Emily, and the account of their relationship is
far from the typical sleazy teacher/student material found in ASS/M (and
suggested, unfortunately, by this story's title). Their difference in
age (17 vs. 35) does provide a possible squick factor.
One thing that particularly impressed me about this story was the
superbly described sex scenes. Sundance's prose, particularly in
romantic encounters, becomes rich, opulent, and very effective. It is
clearly something the author has taken great care with. This aspect
alone would endear this story to a great many newsgroup readers, yet
these scenes occur (for the most part) within the context of a proper
plot, opening the story to even more serious consideration.
This is a very good story, and a highly rewarding and enjoyable read.
Invoking my own erotic muses:
~> Pandora (story codes/genre): mf Mf (late teen) rom / Vanilla
~> Dr. Johnson (technical quality): 10
~> Scheherazade (plot and character development): 9
~> Apuleius (appeal to reviewer): 9
~> Links
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424517
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424479
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424488
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424507
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424531
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=402424494
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"The Hots For A Hooker" by J Boswell
Email: J.BOSWELL@usa.net
Reviewed by: Miles Naismith
J Boswell, a specialist in wife stories, is an author who stands out
from the crowd. His scenarios remain in the reader's head long after
those of lesser lights have faded away. Others are good at this, but he
is a master.
Naturally, I was anxious to read the first new Boswell story I had seen
in at least a year and a half, but he threw me a curve. Well into the
story, there wasn't a wife in sight in the action. Assuming he was
breaking new ground, I persevered. I was rewarded.
Sent out of town to train employees for a new restaurant his company is
opening, an executive is feeling sorry for himself because he's so far
from wife and home. A prostitute mixes up the digits in her John's hotel
room number and interrupts his bout of self-pity. She strikes a chord
with his sensibilities, and soon she is giving this heretofore faithful
husband a localized massage at the usual rates.
He finds himself deeply attracted to the prostitute, and most of the
story tells of his observation of her as she plies her trade in the
hotel lounge and the personal interludes they share during the two weeks
he is there. The sex builds to a bachelor party gangbang, followed by a
very neat plot twist that changes the reader's entire focus on the
story.
As in the past, Boswell writes with style and assurance. His plotting
is masterful and his characters are good. And, as in the past, once the
reader accepts the initial premises of the story, Boswell works hard to
maintain believability. The result is another excellent story. I
thought that the story was longer than it needed to be and that Boswell
could have cut the timeline to a week without hurting the believability
or quality of the story. But he didn't, and I liked it anyway.
Is this the best J Boswell story? Not for me - I liked several of his
earlier ones better, including my personal favorite, Forever Faithful.
Is this a top flight story anyway? You bet. I have recommended it to
BitBard and Miss Behavin for consideration in the monthly top twenty.
If you like this story, you might want to know that Boswell's other
stories are archived in the Old Joe Collection at ASSTR:
(Please note that the Pandora codes below are not complete in order not
to give away the plot twists.)
~> Pandora (story code/genre) MF, MM+F / Group
~> Athena (technical & grammar) 10
~> Venus (plot & character) 10
~> Miles Naismith (appeal to reviewer) 10
~> Links
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17465.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17466.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17677.txt
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"The French Maid" by Susan
Email: Susan12346@Hotmail.com
Review by Sven the Elder, who may be contacted at
Sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk
I have been asked to review parts 1-4, in fact the series is now up to
part 11. In the story preamble to part one the author sets the scene
thus:
'I had applied for the job at the hotel several days before. It was a
hotel in the countryside, and catered for businessmen. The interview
told me that I had to be broad minded and ready to handle most
situations on my own. For that I would receive a much higher then usual
wage plus tips, what the customers gave me, and a percentage of what
was left at the main desk. It sounded too good to be true, but I took
the job, wondering what was really involved.'
We find out soon enough that Susan's uniform is indeed that of a 'French
Maid' and from then on in the fun starts. And what fun. This is light
and frothy, it's enjoyable 'stroke fiction' capably and well written.
The author writes carefully and chooses her words - in her introduction
to the series she writes:
"This does not contain commonly used words that so many of these stories
seem to. I'm sorry but words like that doesn't turn any of the girls I
know on, and none of our boyfriends would think of using such words in
our company. So if you are looking for that, keep looking please."
Susan succeeds in well in her objectives. I have read them all so far
and enjoyed them all. She apologises for the spelling and other
mistakes in the earliest of her postings, and her proof reader now does
an excellent job of work.
These stories are not 'deep, with hidden meaning', but they are sexy and
very entertaining. They are simply very erotic scenarios in an upmarket
bordello, ranging from straightforward M/F, M/FF, MM/F, MM/FF and
onwards in an combination you care to work out. All the scenarios's are
skilfully dealt with and imagination's are not overstretched as to the
'credulity' of either the setting or the act. Download, read and enjoy
them - you will not be disappointed.
Ratings - I was much taken by the *new* ratings offered recently by Lord
Schon. I am sure he will not mind my 'stealing' them <grin>
Will I save this story and send it to my friends? Yes
Will I look for other stories by this author? Yes
Did this story make want to stop reading and fulfil a procreative urge?
Yes
But I will also, for the sake of convention, use the more normal ones:
Ratings for "The French Maid"
~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): M/F, M/FF, MM/F, MM/FF / Group
~> Athena (technical quality): 9
~> Venus (plot & character): 9
~> Sven (appeal to reviewer): 10
~> Links
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17542.txt
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It Happened by JohnDoe
Email: johndoe1999@my-dejanews.com
Reviewed by: Miss Behavin` (missbehavin@missbehavin.pair.com)
See Jane at work -- anticipating 4:00.
See John who is not Jane's husband.
See Jane go to John's house after work.
See Miss B confused at whose point of view it is now.
See Jane surf the Net.
See John go under the desk.
See Jane cum.
See John think it's time they try something new. "Surprise Jane."
See Jane "recognize anal sex foreplay."
See Miss B wonder if John and Jane know about spell-check.
See Jane think: only my husband has been "there."
See John use an economy size tub of KY on Jane's ass.
See Jane -- nervous, scared and in pain but amazingly comfortable.
See John go very slowly -- fingers first and penis later.
See Jane think about how much pain she is in.
See John "throw on more KY."
See Miss B fall on the floor laughing.
See Jane becoming comfortable with it, yet still in pain.
See John think "too tight -- too much friction" and drive into Jane's
ass.
See Jane hit the floor.
See John "explode in a huge orgasm."
See Jane masturbate herself to one and credit the anal sex for it.
See Miss B use the story as a coaster for her coffee.
Ratings for "It Happened"
~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): M/F, Anal, Cheat
~> Athena (technical quality): 4
~> Venus (plot & character): 4
~> Miss Behavin` (appeal): 1
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417305410
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17695.txt
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"Night Child" by QuantumLeap
Email: quantumleap01@hotmail.com
Reviewed by: Rosemerry
I didn't really review this as a story because it wasn't one; it was
more like a dream sequence or a prose poem. It was a very lyrical,
sweetly written short piece about a vampire's meeting with his victim.
For this piece, first and second person worked very well.
I did find it a bit hard to get into at first, because there wasn't any
idea of where we were. It's all right to leave out the details, but in
something as dreamlike and poetic as this, some lyrical descriptions of
surroundings would have enhanced it. Despite that, I was carried along
as the action progressed. It was a beautiful dream sequence, sex or no
sex. After all, in certain areas of the vampire mythos, that *is* sex.
Read and enjoy!
Ratings for "Night Child"
~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): Vampire, No Sex
~> Athena (technical quality): 7
~> Venus(plot & character): N/A
~> Rosemerry (appeal): 7
~> Links:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=417305415
---
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17696.txt
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"By the Sea" by W. Winds
Reviewed by: Miss Behavin`(missbehavin@missbehavin.pair.com)
It was a typical Saturday afternoons walk along a remote beach, looking
for seashells and basically enjoying the day. The shells are soon
forgotten as is everything else when the woman he's been watching is
suddenly on her hands and knees not far from him and her naked ass is
inviting him over.
This short story is a light read, contains some fairly good imagery, a
little dirty talk and some mild erotic images.
Ratings for "By The Sea"
~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): M/F Exhib Cons
~> Athena (technical quality): 9
~> Venus (plot & character): 7
~> Miss Behavin` (appeal): 7
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17539.txt
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"Laura In Green" by Shon Richards
Email: lordshon@aol.com
Review by: Miss Behavin`
After reading this story, I sat back to think about how to review it
with the story's strong imagery sweeping through my mind.
Shon Richards weaves a short tail about two people that meet at an
outdoor dance. Laura enters and the world stops for a second -- it's
almost like Cinderella entering the ball. He (I didn't catch his name)
asks her to dance and as they fall into a series of quotes, each trying
to stump the other. One of my favorite Oscar Wilde quotes: "We are all
lying in the gutter, but we are all looking to the stars," is used and
I'm hooked.
This is a well-written story that flows extremely well. I wish that the
author had taken more time to define the characters as it could only
enhance the story more. The sex is beautifully written and erotic but it
was rushed as one moment they were dancing vertically and the next
horizontally.
Even with that, it's a beautiful story for those of us who are drawn to
romance and if that's what you're looking for then you'll enjoy this
story.
Ratings for "Laura in Green"
~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): M/F Rom
~> Athena (technical quality): 10
~> Venus (plot & character): 9
~> Miss Behavin` (appeal): 10
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17624.txt
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Snow Angels (A Saucy Wench Adventure, #4)by Saucy Wench
Email: WenchSaucy@aol.com
Web: http://sexxites.com/SaucyWench/
Reviewed by: Rosemerry
This story struck me as about medium well written, although with as much
snow nakedness as there was, it perhaps should have been "block of ice"!
It certainly made me shiver. It's a little romp about two youngish
ladies who find themselves naked in the snow and their quest for help,
and the sex that eventually results.
The opening suffered from the difficulties that so many first-person
stories do, in that it was very hard to tell the gender, appearance, age
or personality of the speaker until well into the tale. In a
conventionally written story, the opening paragraphs, stretched at most
to two or three, have certain functions to perform. They give you some
idea about the setting, whether we're in 13th century France or present
day (which this opening showed us very well). They also give you some
interest in the main character, not necessarily their entire appearance,
but some idea of who they are (in this story, the main character didn't
appear at all till late in the second paragraph). And they give you a
hook to the story, something that makes you want to read on (this one
was pure description).
However, it was very good description. The lyrical phrases about the
cabin really made me want to be there! It was an ideal setting. A
suggestion: the thing that would have provided both a look into the main
character and created a hook to keep the story interesting was the
concept that they'd made love once, but now were just friends. The
sexual tension there would have been great in the first paragraph.
I also found that the story went on too long about the difficulties of
finding help while naked in the snow. After all that, the sex was
perfunctory, sort of getting it out of the way. It seemed to me that the
story was really interested in wandering naked and helpless in the snow,
which is fine in and of itself. Perhaps too much artistic liberty was
taken; I mean, I don't think *anyone* would endanger their lives by
trudging to the neighbors' house in wet socks and naked in the snow,
rather than heave a rock through the window. That distracted me from the
story.
The initial descriptions of two naked ladies playing and romping in the
cold were very nice. They were arousing without being depressing, gave
us a sense of innocence and sexiness. The descriptions were very well
written, too. I also loved the headers to the different sections of the
story; they gave it a certain sassy charm and added to the overall
appeal. All in all, with some revisions, this could be a good story.
Ratings for "Snow Angels"
~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): FF Exhibition Snow
~> Athena (technical quality): 5
~> Venus (plot & character): 6
~> Rosemerry (appeal):
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17538.txt
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"Fresh Produce" by Bernadette
Email: bybernadette@my-dejanews.com
Reviewed by: Miss Behavin`
Just when you think that grocery shopping has hit an all time low you
end up lying on the floor in a pool of chocolate milk, looking up into
the eyes of your knight in shining armor. Does life get any better than
this?
I enjoyed this story -- it's full of bad cliches and some very
interesting euphemisms. It's fast paced and if nothing else it'll make
you hungry. The characters are very likeable and when they take a detour
into the storage room you just might want to drop that box of Twinkies
you've been fighting with your conscious over and follow them. I do
have to say that after reading "Lick me like the middle of an Oreo,"
I'll probably never be able to look at an Oreo Cookie the same way
again.
This story is all in good fun and probably bad taste. If you're looking
for something light and fluffy then may I recommend the "Flesh Produce?"
Ratings for "Fresh Produce"
~> Pandora (Codes / Genre): M/F Parody oral
~> Athena (technical quality): 9
~> Venus (plot & character): 9
~> Miss Behavin` (appeal): 8
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17614.txt
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"Mall Strut" by Maria Gozales
Email: Maria1971@aol.com
Reviewed by: Sundance
Maria has found herself in a bit of a quandary. She was sure she had a
firm grasp on the odds of a basketball game; so sure in fact that she
made a bet with her husband Chuck that she could predict the outcome.
She was so confident of her pending victory that she agreed to a bounty
where the loser would do whatever the winner wanted for an entire day.
She had big plans for Chuck's losing proposition, documented in a list
of honey do's that would keep him plenty busy. But something went
wrong. Not only did her team lose, but she also forgot to ask Chuck how
she would be spending her day in the off chance she lost.
As luck would have it, Chuck was more creative than Maria when deciding
on his wife's assignment. Her day was to begin by dawning a pair of
'fuck me' black pumps, a thigh-high mini-skirt, a tiny lace thong, and a
flimsy white silk blouse. She was then to proceed to the nearest mall
and 'strut her stuff' for admiring shoppers.
This story opens with Maria making that strut, wrestling with
conflicting feelings ranging from a sense of embarrassed exposure to
unexpected delight in displaying her wares for admiring eyes, including
those belonging to three strapping young males following her on her
walk. We move along with Maria as she makes her way towards the food
court where she sees Chuck waiting patiently at a table. As she
approaches, Chuck exits quickly, leaving behind an envelope with Maria's
name on it directing her to retreat to the ladies room before opening
and reading instructions describing what she was to do next.
She obeys, disappearing into the lounge area of the women's restroom.
Making herself comfortable, she opens the envelope containing
instructions for the remainder of her day. Gasp! While you'll have to
read the story to find out what Chuck wants now, it's safe to say he's
pushing the envelope of his wife's erotic fantasies.
Without giving away the whole plot, Maria's mall escapade leads her
through a variety of steamy situations, including a little girl / girl
action. There is also a reuniting with the strapping young bucks that
were originally following her. They end up treating her to an afternoon
of steamy group sex beginning in the backseat of a moving convertible,
followed by some quality time handcuffed and blindfolded, concluding
with a bit of exotic show and grope dancing.
I enjoyed this story on several fronts. I liked the idea of the daring
bet between the wife and the husband. The fact that she struggled
initially with her emotions, including her sense of embarrassment and
exposure as she walked the mall dressed in such revealing attire
contributed a sense of realism to the story. The author's descriptions
of the main character's thoughts went beyond just arousal, including the
progressive sexual awakening and self-awareness she was experienced
moving from one dare to the next. Last, and definitely not least, the
sex was hot!
The plot was a bit of a stretch at times and a little too convenient,
although it did provide a consistent flow to the story. Also there were
a number of technical problems, but nothing hugely distracting.
Problems such as these are to be expected in a writer's first effort and
are likely to improve with practice.
I applaud this first attempt and hope to see more stories in the future
from this author. Now I'm off to the mall. Maybe Maria will be shopping
today… :-)
"Ratings for "Mall Strut"
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) Exhib, MMMF, FF, wife, light bondage
~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 8
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 8
~> Sundance (Appeal) 8
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17555.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17556.txt
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"Coming Home" by Little Devil
Email: little_devil@angelfire.com
Reviewed by: Taltos
Nick's day starts with his car breaking down and a bus ride to the
airport. The only thing to get him through is the thought of seeing
Claire again. She has been away for a month on business in Spain. The
two are reunited and settle back on the bus for the trip home. On the
bus, Nick decides to explore the body he has missed so much, made easier
by the fact Claire is wearing track pants. They finally arrive home and
have their much-awaited reunion.
This was a well-written story and I enjoyed it immensely. It's
humorous, romantic and very erotic. There is more than just sex here
and this story seems to have it all. I will try and sit patiently
waiting for the next installment of this beautiful story.
"Ratings for "Coming Home"
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF, public, oral, mast
~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 10
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 10
~> Taltos(Appeal to Reviewer) 10
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17619.txt
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"After A Long Hard Day At The Computer" by Hotscribe
Email: mikaal@hotmail.com
Reviewed by: Phil
The man distracts the woman from her computer screen and they quickly
progress to sex, running through most of the usual activities in a few
paragraphs. This is one of the most common erotic scenarios nowadays,
and although the description is vivid in places there is nothing novel,
intriguing or surprising in this story. Cliches intrude (not an easy
thing to avoid, I know), and, worse, some basic spelling errors. The
best I can say about this story is that there is nothing much to object
to in it, but, alas, nothing much to remember either.
"Ratings for "After A Long Hard Day At The Computer"
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF Romance
~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 7
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 5
~> Phil (Appeal to Reviewer) 3
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17581.txt
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"After Work" by Hotscribe
Email: mikaal@hotmail.com
Reviewed by: Miss Behavin`
A man and a woman meet for the first time after sharing a few e-mails
back and forth. Both are slightly nervous and break the ice by talking
for a few moments. Seconds later they are at the hotel where he works
and go into a back room where he takes her to heights she hasn't
experienced in a long time.
This story, like all of the others that I've read from this author are
all the same -- short and unfulfilling. There is very little character
depth and no real plot. The sex is visual and just when you start
shifting around in your chair -- it ends!
I honestly think that given some work these stories could be very good.
The imagery is there in pieces and the writing shows promise. Maybe if
the author concentrated on quality and not quantity we'd see the kind of
story that makes us want to read more.
"Ratings for "After Work"
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF Cons Oral
~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 7
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 4
~> Miss Behavin` (Appeal) 3
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17573.txt
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"At the Chateau" By Firmament
Email: firmament32@hotmail.com
Reviewer: BitBard (bitbard@bitbard.pair.com)
This is a simple little scene. A man and woman meet in a small French
town, they flirt, she invites him back to her place, then they fuck.
There are a few problems with this story. The biggest is a tense change
from past to present tense in the middle of the story where the sex
begins. The sex is hot but the poor story formatting, tense change
combine to make a fairly hot sex scene merely average.
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) MF / Vanilla
~> Athena (Technical & Grammar) 7
~> Venus (Plot and Character) 8
~> BitBard (Appeal) 8
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17645.txt
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"I Wish It Did" by Jan Williams
E-mail janwill89@hotmail.com
Review by Nick (nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk)
This is a story, which goes into detail about a woman's experience in
having straight sex. There is nothing more than that really. The title
"I Wish it Did" is a bit of a puzzle for me though. What does she wish
what did? This makes me think that the story is not complete. I'd like
to see the rest of it, then I might give it higher marks, but for the
moment it is just a very short piece of stroke, and there really isn't
much to say about it.
Pandora: MF / stroke
Athena (Technique): 8
Venus (Plot/Character): 6
Nick (Appeal): 6
Link:
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=416451543
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"Pandora's Box" by "Adhara Law"
Email: eros_dreams@hotmail.com
Reviewer: Jean (jw.revu@quihye.demon.co.uk)
Reviewing stories is a subjective thing; a bit like lists of 'the 20
sexiest women'. I came across such a list recently, in a film magazine,
and was surprised by the content, to the extent that I wondered what the
compiler must have been smoking. Some of the women were good actresses,
some were attractive, some both, but none would I have described as
sexy. Such lists often include Demi Moore today, Kathleen Turner
yesterday, Faye Dunaway and Catherine Deneuve before, all attractive,
all good actresses, but sexy? Give me Lauren Bacall, Isobelle Adjani,
Sharon Stone - they come across as if they'd rip your clothes off as
soon as look at you.
I'm afraid this story was a bit of a Catherine Deneuve; classy,
attractive, technically very good, but... missing something. Don't let
me put you off reading it - the idea at its core is well handled,
there's nothing wrong with the grammar (confusion between purposely and
purposefully jarred me a bit but that's real nit-picking), and it's
concise. But...
~> Pandora (Story Codes/Genre) FM / One night stand
~> Technical & Grammar 10
~> Plot and Character 8
~> Jean (Appeal to Reviewer) 7
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17639.txt
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
=-= ~ Reposted Reviews ~ =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
* "1997 Teen Blow Job Tournament" by Daphne Xu
Email: daphne@nym.alias.net
This is another submission to Malinov's spam contest.
They don't have spam or blowjobs in China - at least "Shuming Zhao was
naïve about these things when she came to college in the United States
to study computer science. The sexual descriptions are a combination of
the extremely explicit and the completely impersonal. People don't
really have sex this way - at least not very often - not even those
ubiquitous Asian teenagers who come to the United States to learn about
computers and sex.
Ratings for "1997 Teen Blow Job Tournament"
~> Athena (technical quality): 9.5
~> Venus (plot & character): 10
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
~> Links:
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17812.txt
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"Stocking Filler" by Bronwen
Email: bronwen@anon.nymserver.com
Web: http://www.hootisland.com/bronwen
The husband has promised to get the best Santa costume ever. The wife
has skipped midnight mass and has sexed herself up to give Santa the
ride of his life. The rest of the plot is easy to guess: the wife will
fuck the brains out of the wrong person. Right? 'Tis a simple plot,
but Bronwen will make it interesting. Right?
Well, close - but way off! This is an extremely imaginative, highly
sexy, magical, just plain erotic story of Christmas sex. I'm not even
going to try to summarize it any further. If you're interested in
Christmas or sex or pagan gods or anything in between or all of the
above, you'll love this story!
~> Ratings for "Stocking Filler"
~> Athena (technical quality): 10
~> Venus (plot & character): 10
~> Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
~> Links
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/17728.txt
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=-= ~ On This Day in Celestial History ~ =-=
=-= Celestial Reviews 1 - July 6, 1995 =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
* "Bank" by Deirdre.
My word processor tells me that this story was only 830 words long, but
with those few words the author did a really nice job of creating a
mood. What's best about the story is that Deirdre shows excellent
restraint: she creates a mood and tells us this story without going
overboard and trying to make more of the incident than there really was
to it. Other writers would be tempted to work in some four-letter words
and at least a couple of orgasms and to follow the formula for a good
sex story; but Deirdre just relates this anecdote in a way that made me
think of comparable things that had happened to me during my own early
adolescence.
~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 9
~> Links
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346717760
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* "Mother and Son" by Ann Douglas.
Perhaps its my background as an educator, but I'm normally repulsed by
stories about incest. The basic problem is that once you set aside the
fantasy, in real life the adult is almost always engaging in some sort
of gratification at the expense of someone he or she should be caring
for. We get upset at the clergy and teachers who molest children, but
then we're supposed to consider it to be titillating when we read a
story about mom teaching her son "what it's like to be a man." That's
how I usually react, but this story surprised me. It's about a mother
who comes home early and sees her son getting head from a boy whom she
doesn't know. She tries to respect his privacy, but she becomes aware
that the son is likely to take the plunge into a homosexual lifestyle
that may not be appropriate for him. As the only reasonable solution
she can think of, the mother herself engages in loving sex with her son.
The story ends with... no - you'll have to find that out for yourself.
What won me over was the objective, non-moralizing aspects of the story.
The author wasn't suggesting that every mother should screw her son; but
she showed that this was an unusual situation. Nor was she suggesting
that it would be awful if her son would adopt a homosexual lifestyle.
The mother just didn't want her son to make that choice without thinking
about the alternatives.
The story reminded me of the movie Summer of 42, in which a wife loses
her husband in the War and then makes tender love to a neighbor boy.
When we saw that movie, my husband and I discussed the ethics of an
older woman seducing a younger boy - when the boy obviously loved ever
second of it. We eventually decided it was just a pretty good movie and
that we didn't need to pass moral judgment on it. This was just a
pretty good story.
~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 10
~> Links
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308955968
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=308955963
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
* "Art Museum" by Trane and Wildfire Paradise.
The interesting thing about this story is that it was coauthored by two
people over the Throbnet BBS. As near as I can figure, the two authors
have never actually met in person. The story's format consists of
several reciprocal e-mail transmissions among the authors, in which each
message builds upon the story as it has been set up by the preceding
message. In these messages the authors evolve a story about two people
making love in a limousine on a ferry boat on the way home from the
Seattle Art Museum. At times the authors seem to want to coordinate
their efforts; and at other times they seem determined to throw a curve
ball to the other by changing the situation abruptly to see what the
other will do next. It's an interesting format, and it results in a
sexy story. On the negative side, I think the authors followed the sex
story formulas a little too closely - getting in one and only one of
every position and every term for a pussy or cock. In addition,
although I liked the give-and-take atmosphere, it would have been
possible to do some editing at the end of the joint project to
coordinate things just a little better. Finally, if they're going to
call the story "Art Museum" instead of "Ferry Ride," it would have been
nice to bring art into the story a little more. All in all, however,
this was a pretty good story. (Rating 6.5).
~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 6.5
~> Links
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=327409393
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=327409409
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* "Amanda" by Grimalkin.
(This is one of a series of stories being reposted by THC Adult Text
Archive under the title AMANDA.TXT.) As an English teacher, I sometimes
feel self-conscious when I criticize a story for bad punctuation and
grammar. It should be the idea that counts; not the formatting. But if
a writer is going to formally publish something, he or she should make
it easy on the reader. I realize that the Internet is not the most
formal medium of publication, but if it's worth someone else's time to
read a story, then it should be worth taking the time to clean it up or
have someone else do so before publication. If bad grammar makes a
point, then it's OK.
So, I have to ask myself, is there some benefit in the apparent
illiterate writing style of this author? The story is about a female
friend (an attendant, I think), who is in the room with Amanda, an
actress who has given her opening performance and is waiting for the
first reviews to appear in the early editions of the newspapers. While
they're waiting, the unnamed friend jacks Amanda off. Then the reviews
arrive, and they are good. That's the whole story. Is the friend
supposed to be an unschooled but loving companion who "just don't talk
to good"? If so, this is never stated or even clearly implied. Or is
this story the first written expression of an inarticulate but loving
person? If so, it deserves some respect. Or does the writer just not
give a damn? I'm afraid this is the most likely explanation. As a
story, it's really pretty bland - just formulistic lesbian love. Big
whoop!
~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 2
~> Links
(lost)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
* "Surprise" by Damya.
I never used to get high on the idea of watching my husband fuck
somebody else, nor did I like the idea of doing it while he watched.
But we talked it over several years ago, and we agreed that it would
actually be stimulating to watch the other make it with someone else -
as long as the possibility of disease could be avoided (which, of
course, is possible, in imaginary worlds). It would be stimulating for
us, but impossible in reality, since we see so much value in our
monogamous relationship. (To me, the fact that I share this wonderful
experience with my husband and with him alone makes it by definition
impossible to invite another party into the relationship.) So we've
settled for an active fantasy life, where he sometimes talks to me about
what he'd like to do to a woman in a movie or on the street, and I do
the same for him.
Now back to the story - I guess I'm making the point that I see problems
inherent in the plot; but if I weren't so fortunate as to have this
really great bargain relationship, I have to admit that the basic idea
behind this plot sounds good. There are lots of good spouse watching
stories, but this one doesn't quite make it for me. The author says
she's writing it for her boyfriend; and it might have served that
purpose really well. If so, I hope they get their bang for their buck.
But there are better wife watching stories this one. The reasons to
read this story are (1) to find enjoyment in hearing about an
interesting situation or (2) to get really turned on while reading it.
I don't think either outcome is really all that likely. On the other
hand, the story is not awful either. It just somehow failed to give me
as a woman the vicarious experience of driving my husband into sexual
heaven by letting him watch me do exciting things to someone else. I
hope Damya herself had better luck.
~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 5
~> Links
(lost)
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* "AdventureLand" by Sue.
I love theme parks. Disney World in Orlando is an especially romantic
place. In this story, a woman manages to get into the Pirates of the
Caribbean attraction after everyone else has left it. She masturbates
and engages in sexual fantasies with the characters. The punch line is
that one of the characters turns out to be the college kid who runs the
attraction, and he fucks her and slips away before she realizes that he
wasn't part of her imagination. I liked the story a lot. I'm sure
there are religious people somewhere who would be repulsed at the
thought of a Disney employee taking advantage of an innocent customer;
but what the hell - this story takes place in an atmosphere in which the
"legitimate" fantasy consists of fun-loving pirates looting villages and
gleefully carrying off the female prisoners. When I've taken my kids on
that ride, I've often mentally noted that in real life the pirates would
have had their sexual jollies with the women they were chasing. Being
captured and raped by a pirate probably wasn't as much fun as Disney
suggests. In real life Disney employees who have sex with customers who
are masturbating with the characters should be fired; just as pirates
who rape and pillage should normally be hanged after a fair trial. It
was fun to read a story in which a modern pirate took advantage of a
damsel. On the downside, you really do have to stretch your imagination
to buy into the story. But overall, it was just good clean fun.
(Rating: 8).
~> Celeste(appeal to reviewer) 8
~> Links
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358921882
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=-= Writer's Block =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Net Authors and Creators Union News by NACU News
by Joyce E. Melton
There has been some discussion on the NACU mailing list of a model
header to be used on adult stories posted to ASS* or displayed on
personal web pages.
While there have been a number of good models put forth, I went ahead
and wrote a, perhaps, over-complete example. :) Feel free to comment to
me directly or to the NACU list.
Here is my model version of a header to also be used as a footer:
-------------------------------------------------------------------
This story may involve strong adult themes, possibly inappropriate for
some mature persons. If reading this might involve you or another
person in an illegal act, stop now and go read something else.
If you are offended by the exploration of adult themes in literature or
on the Internet, just go away, we promise not to tell anyone.
**NACU MEMBER** Net Authors and Creators Union **NACU MEMBER** "We
pursue copyright infringement and defend author and creator rights."
Copyright 1998 by Joyce Melton. All rights reserved.
**Specific permission is granted for: {pick any that apply for you}**
**Ordinary propagation over Usenet via normal means as part and
concommitant result of the original posting of this copyrighted
document.
**Downloading and archiving of this copyrighted work on personal
computers for personal non-commercial use.
**Electronic archiving of this copyrighted text by free non-commercial
archives such as the ASS archives; that is archives which do not charge
per view, nor charge for memberships, nor sell ads which viewers of this
text would be forced to view.
**Ordinary propagation of this copyrighted document over the World Wide
Web for viewing by private individuals for their own personal enjoyment
with no commercial involvement other than paying for basic internet
service.
**Non-commercial electronic use of this copyrighted text on the
Internet/Usenet as long as no laws are being violated.
**Permission is specifically DENIED for: {pick any that apply}**
**Any commercial use of this copyrighted text whatsoever without prior
consent of the author.
**Any use of this copyrighted document that would involve the author or
any other person in an illegal act or would result in any sort of civil
action.
**Archiving this copyrighted text for later viewing by anyone over
Usenet/Internet or other electronic means.
**Making any sort of electronic or physical copy of this copyrighted
work that is not freely accessible by the author and is not solely for
the private personal use and enjoyment of mature, responsible readers.
**Making any sort of transcription of this copyrighted document to any
medium (such as CD, paper, transportable magnetic storage) for any
distribution not previously approved by the author.
**Propagating or distributing this copyrighted text without the attached
copyright notice, NACU warning, and permitting and restricting
paragraphs attached.
**NACU MEMBER** Net Authors and Creators Union **NACU MEMBER** "We
pursue copyright infringement and defend author and creator rights."
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
=-= ~ Credits ~ =-=
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Editors:
BitBard
Email: BitBard@bitbard.pair.com
Web: http://bitbard.pair.com
MissBehavin`
Email: MissBehavin@missbehavin.pair.com
Web: http://missbehavin.pair.com
Reviewers / Contributors:
Apuleius
Email: Apuleius@poboxes.com
Web: http://www.labyrinth.net.au/~mozart/info.html
JayBird
Email: j_bird3@hotmail.com
Jean
Email: jw.revu@quihye.demon.co.uk
Nick
Email: nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk
Web: http://www.asstr.ml.org/~Nick/
Miles Naismith
Email: mnaismith@hotmail.com
Web: http://www.asstr.ml.org/~mnaismith
Morgan
Email: jgerrib@gte.net
Web: http://members.tripod.com/~a_nonie_mouse
Phil
Email: phil@xanadu2000.freeserve.co.uk
Web: http://www.xanadu2000.freeserve.co.uk
Rosemerry
Email: perigryn@earthlink.net
Web: http://home.earthlink.net/~perigryn
Sundance
Email: sundance69@hotmail.com
Web: http://extra.newsguy.com/~suntales
Sven The Elder
Email: sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk
Web: http://www.asstr.ml.org/~sven
Taltos
Email: taltos82@hotmail.com
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=-= End =-=
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