Celestial Reviews 304 - Sept 9, 1998
Note: A cannibal was teaching his young son the ways of the world. He showed
him how to prepare deadly poisonous darts, how to ignite dry leaves with two
stones, how to track & hunt, etc. As they approached the shore at the end of
the day, they saw a beautiful blonde wandering around, apparently the survivor
of a shipwreck.
The young cannibal said, "Looks like we're gonna have a blonde for dinner
tonight!"
The father replied, "No, son. I think we're gonna have your mother for dinner
tonight!"
Second note: Every year around this time I lose guest reviewers. They go away
to school, have to devote their time to reelection to public office, or their
wives figure out what they've been doing. If there are any talented reviewers
out there who would like to contribute an occasional review to CR, I'd like to
hear from you.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
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Celestial Reviews:
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"Distractions" by Vickie Morgan (exhibitionism) 9, 10, 10
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"Scandalous" by BitBard (cheating and romance) 10, 10, 10
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"On Deaf Ears" by Lostgirl (emerging sexuality) 9, 10, 10
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"Lisa's Breakfast" by Ben Fischer (dad fucks stepdaughter) 4, 4, 4
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"Bed (Ar)Rest" by Miss Behavin' (light bdsm) 10, 10, 10
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"Mrs. Engstrom " by Gordie D (sexual revenge) 9, 9, 9
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"DNA: Time On His Hands" by Stephanie (strange TG) 10, 9, 9
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"Iris" by Lord Malinov (artistic sex) 10, 10, 10
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Guest Reviews:
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"Man or Beast" By Diana (beauty and beast). Bitbard: 10, 10, 10
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"Mystery Lady" by Rod Stiffener (mutual masturbation). Myers: 7
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"The Gift" by ThisClose9 (birthday bi bdsm). R'khaan: 7, 8, 8
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"The Unicorn Prayers" by T. M. Carvett (sexual displacement).
Fiddler: 10, 10, 10
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"Layers" by Stroker Ace (mental sex games). Gandmar: 10, 10+, 10+
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* "The O'Stikkit Inn" by Mike Hunt (sex in the swimming pool)
10, 10, 10
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* "Princess's Court" by Plainman (romance & adultery)
10, 10, 10
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* "Newhart: The Made Maid" by Uncle Mike (sitcom parody)
10, 10, 10
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* "Steven After Hours" by Backrub (hot sex with a
superstud) 10
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On this day in Celestial History
Celestial Reviews 116 - Sept 11, 1996
=============================
* "John's Fantasy" by DJ (spouse watching) 10, 10, 10
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* "American As..." by Deidre Ng (patriotic sex) 10, 10, 10
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* "Skin on Skin on Skin" by Backrub (hot threesome) 10, 10, 10
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* "Catalyst" by Mark (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
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"Distractions" by Vickie Morgan (artemis55@hotmail.com).
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The story starts with a vague description of some sort of bet. Apparently the
woman is supposed to do whatever she can to get a rise <g> out of her lover
without actually touching him. She does her duty, and in the process she
mentally retraces some of her earlier adventures with him.
I really can't tell you much more, can I? I'll just add that there's an
interesting twist at the end.
The only thing wrong with the story is that it needs a few more commas. Their
absence was distracting, but that may have something to do with the title of
this story.
Ratings for "Distractions"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Scandalous" by BitBard (bitbard@newsguy.com).
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"Well known author seeks model for sitting. No prior modeling experience
necessary." Why would a writer need a model, and how would the model pose?
Considering the salacious nature of his books, what woman would dare allow
herself to even consider the idea?
But Faith is suffering from angst or ennui of a married woman who is taken for
granted by her husband and by the students in her English classes, and she
needs adventure; and so she becomes a model. Actually, Alan just enjoys
drawing, though he's not good enough to sell what he draws. Drawing also
grounds him; puts him in touch with real people with real needs and desires.
He tells Faith that if he decides to use her as a model, and she decides to
sit for him, then he'd like her to talk while he draws. When he sits down to
write again, he will use much of her in what he writes.
She models. He draws. She talks. He listens. They fall in love. That sort of
thing could shake up Harper Valley.
This is not a simplistic story. It is a well-developed plot with fully
developed characters. It both a sexy and a complete story.
Ratings for "Scandalous"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"On Deaf Ears" by Lostgirl (lostgirl33@hotmail.com).
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"Meg, I can't read your lips while I'm driving, wait until we stop." That
sentence reminded me of my first experience with deaf students. I was used to
telling kids in the lunchroom not to talk with their mouths full. Then I
overheard one deaf kid speaking out loud while she signed to another: "Don't
talk with your hands full." It sounded funny at the time.
My awkward point is that people with hearing impairments are unique in some
ways but perfectly normal in all other ways, and one of their fondest desires
is to be treated as "normal" rather than "handicapped."
In this story Marc is a high school boy who wants to stop sounding like a deaf
person, and Meg helps him. One day they make love, but Meg is simply not ready
for a mature relationship. The title refers not to Marc's hearing impairment,
but to Meg's inability to hear what he is trying to say to her. It refers to
her lost opportunity.
This is another excellent story.
Ratings for "On Deaf Ears"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Lisa's Breakfast" by Ben Fischer (biffo@earthlink.net).
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This was listed in the postings as "A Brand new Story by me. Feedback
welcome."
Ben Farmer has been a widower and a good father to 16-year-old Lisa for nine
years. Actually, Ben is Lisa's stepfather, and so it will be OK for him to
fuck the hell out of the little girl. And Lisa, while still technically a
virgin, has become a veteran at giving blowjobs to the guys at school; and so
she's really pleased deep down inside when Ben humps her, in spite of her
protestations of pain. And Ben has a foot-long love python between his legs.
Twelve inches unaroused.
My feedback is that the next time the author should write a better story, one
that incorporates physical and psychological realism, and have someone
proofread it for him.
Ratings for "Lisa's Breakfast"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4
"Bed (Ar)Rest" by Miss Behavin' (missbehavin@sprint.ca)
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"I've been hearing some rumors about you and I'm afraid I'm going to have to
place you under house arrest until I'm sure that you're not guilty of some of
the things that are being said about you." So says Stephen. He's kidding. He's
really gonna have fun with her.
Meanwhile Trisha is having trouble deciding how much she likes the large
mirror that Stephen has installed over the bed. And then there are the
handcuffs with which she is suddenly spread eagle on the bed. And pretty soon
she is hollering for him to fuck her ass.
'Tis a very pleasant sort of light bdsm. A very nice story!
Ratings for "Bed (Ar)Rest"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Mrs. Engstrom" by Gordie D (GordonD103@aol.com).
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The fact is, Mrs. Engstrom , the math teacher is a bitch; but it takes a lot
more than that to stop a young college boy from fantasizing about a woman
built like Mrs. E. Indeed, she makes Tim horny as hell. Tim relieves himself
by jerking off with Mary the math tutor, who dislikes Mrs. Engstrom. So then
Tim's math grades improve, and Mrs. Engstrom hires Tim as her gardener.
Beginning with his first day on the job, she takes Tim into the house and
plays sex games with him.
Then Mrs. Engstrom gets jealous of Tim and Mary, and so she metaphorically
screws Mary by getting her fired from the tutoring program. So then Tim and
Mary screw Mrs. Engstrom more literally – but I guess it's still a metaphor,
since no screwdriver is involved, just a tee-shirt to tie her up and some
rapid stimulation of body parts.
I'm usually put off by rape stories; but, hey, this is a math teacher – a
trigonometry teacher to boot. For the life of me I can't tell you what else
you can do with trigonometry teachers except fuck 'em.
Ratings for "Mrs. Engstrom"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"DNA: Time On His Hands" by Stephanie (stephanie@nym.alias.net).
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Jay is being sentenced to life in prison; but no problem: he is confident that
he can escape. So that he'll be sent to a lower-security prison (which will
make escape easier), Jay agrees to take a DNA drug. The drug will transform
Jay, and since the only sample of his original DNA will be stored by the
authorities, they presume he will not try to escape until the end of his
sentence – which is a logical fallacy, since the story also says he's getting
a life sentence
Jay figures he'll take the drug, break out of prison, track down some black-
market DNA peddler, and undo the DNA change. With a new face and body he'd be
virtually untraceable. The risk of the stronger dose DNA virus killing him is
one he is willing to face.
Of course, the judge sentences him to be a female. The story concludes with a
surprise ending, as Jay goes through the transformation in a rather unexpected
manner.
I was surprised, but not exactly thrilled. This is a good story – just not as
good as some of this author's other offerings, which tend to be absolutely
excellent.
Ratings for "DNA: Time On His Hands"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Iris" by Lord Malinov (malinov@mindless.com).
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Back in college we girls used to joke about dirty old men who posed as artists
and invited young women up to their "garrets" to see their "etchings." My
husband knows this, and occasionally he asks me with a twinkle in his eye if I
would like to "see his etchings."
The artist in this story has a more sophisticated line: ""If we decide to work
on a sculpture, I will have to touch you. It is the nature of the medium.
Anything else that arises between us would only be the spontaneous result of
our mutual affection. I must confess that such indiscretions have happened
before, sometimes to great effect. This is emotional work, for I will strive
to discover and emphasize the beauty of your body and soul. If I succeed, it
will be because I want to see you in that fashion. For many women, the rapt
attention of such a flatterer is more seduction than any man has paid them
before."
Anyway, our artist decides to go ahead and sculpt Iris.
Ratings for "Iris"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Man or Beast" By Diana (diana_svensson@yahoo.com). Guest review by BitBard
(bitbard@newsguy.com)
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Sci-Fi and Fantasy have a very unique role in literature and erotica. No other
format allows for such an exploration of humanity. Spock on Star Trek wasn't a
green blooded, pointy-eared alien, he was a contrast that allowed us to see
and understand what it was to be human. These forums allow authors to reflect
the human condition from the outsider looking in vantage, as well as allowing
authors to reflect on what we may become.
In erotica this outsider looking in forum usually explores the very boundaries
of sexuality itself. Can a human really love a bug-eyed-monster? Is it really
bestiality if the bug-eyed-monster has a heart and soul and an IQ of 512? If
one falls in love with a shape-shifter such as Odo on Star Trek: Deep Space 9,
would that person be gay, bisexual, heterosexual, or a zoo depending on what
Odo decided to be that evening? Celeste's VR contest produced many entries
that explored exactly what those labels mean when form is malleable.
In "Man or Beast", Emily Sanders is a young woman who is vacationing alone in
a rustic, remote setting. As a city girl she has enormous fun exploring nifty
things like skinny dipping and masturbating in the great out doors. Later she
gets lost in the woods, is almost rescued by a would-be rapist but is saved by
a noble werewolf who has been keeping an eye on our damsel in distress. The
werewolf is actually a really decent guy living as a hermit. He's lonely,
she's lonely and so an erotica story is born.
In a way this is borderline bestiality, but it also serves as a comparison and
contrast. Daniel, the werewolf, is an outcast, alone and reclusive. Emily,
though she lives in the heart of a great metropolis and has friends and co-
workers is just as alone as Daniel.
There's also a great deal of romantic fantasy wrapped up in this story and the
werewolf allows for a duality. On the one hand, Daniel in his human form is
sensitive, caring, kind, and intelligent. On the other hand, Daniel in his
animal form is dangerous, strong, and a pretty damned good lover. This duality
of course is present in all men to greater or lesser extents. The use of a
werewolf however serves to magnify the differences between man and the beast
within.
It's usually pretty difficult to write in the fantasy realm and keep the
dialog believable. This story did a fairly good job of holding the dialog
together, though it was strained in places. The only real problem I had with
the story was learning werewolves travel in flocks. Every time I saw this word
I kept imagining Emily conversing with Chicken Boo. "Pack" or "Clan" would
have, for me, been a much better word selection.
But this is a quibble. This may not be the best story published to ASS/M, but
it a very strong and solid addition to a genre which few authors exploit to
it's fullest potential. This story did exactly what a good Fantasy story
should do: allow us to explore our own sexuality by seeing sexuality in a
different and unusual light. Furthermore, this exploration of sexuality is
done from a *WOMAN'S* perspective in a field dominated almost exclusively by
men. That uniqueness, quite apart from this being an interesting story, puts
"Man or Beast" on my recommended reading list.
Ratings for "Man or Beast"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Bitbard (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Mystery Lady" by Rod Stiffener (rodsti@hotmail.com). Guest review by Dave
Myers.
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There haven't been all that many mutual masturbation stories in this group.
It's really an under-exploited arena. While the writing and plotting may not
be overly ambitious in this encounter scene, there are no fatal flaws either.
Synopsis: In a coed fitting room (you don't see that every day, do you!) a
peeper gets rewarded.
I know what you're thinking. Cute, but not flashy. Short, without much
development. And you're mostly correct. However, good encounter-type stories
need little more. The author does well taking this simple idea and running
with it.
Hopefully, this is just a warm up piece. It seems the author has potential
which is not fully explored in this short take. Even within the confines of
the very short story (it's under 200 lines), there could have been more
tension created, more senses explored, and less of a see-thru plot.
A couple of other quick details: Don't let the title fool you. It's not as
boring as "Mystery Lady" might imply. And lastly, there are a couple of
British-isms and British spellings which always seem to bother one or two
people out there for some reason.
Rating: 7
"The Gift" by ThisClose9 (thisclose9@aol.com). Guest Review by R'khaan
(rkhaan@ix.netcom.com)
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A week before his 30th birthday, Jan's having dinner with his wife, Kay, who
asked him what he wanted for his birthday. A little buzzed from the wine they
had consumed, Jay makes an off-the-wall comment about never getting what he
really wanted. Naturally, Kay asks what he really wants and Jay tells her that
he wants one of those nights he's read about in Penthouse. "Something we've
never done. Something really wild." Kay's response sounded uninterested and
the conversation turned to everyday sort of things.
A week later, we find Jay coming home from work, bitching about having to work
on his birthday. As he enters the house and grabs a glass of wine, he hears
some strange sounds coming from their bedroom and notices a faint light.
Approaching the closed door, the sounds are louder and, curious, Jay peeks
into the room, finding his lovely wife watching a porno flick, something she's
not known to do. After watching Kay masturbate, they go get more wine and Kay
begins to present Jay's birthday present by undressing him.
Once undressed, Kay ties her hubby up with some old nylons and because he's
comfortable, clips clothespins onto his nipples before blindfolding him. After
getting Jay's assurance that things will go "all the way," Kay leaves him
bound, clipped, blindfolded and naked on the bed. She adds a wicked touch by
opening the blinds in the room; anyone walking by and looking would see him.
After a while, Kay returns - but she's obviously not alone as Jay overhears
his wife talking to someone. Kay returns to the bedroom, checks on her husband
and the fun begins with a tantalizing blowjob. Jay's in heaven but something's
not quite right here - how can Kay be talking to him and sucking his cock at
the same time?
Jay's questions are answered when Kay mounts him and hard cock slides between
his lips, fulfilling another of his fantasies. The trio get down and dirty big
time, with Jay getting two helpings of come to taste - his from his own wife's
coochie and from the still-mysterious hard cock in his mouth.
Eventually the blindfold comes off. Jay is introduced to Drew, the owner of
the cock he'd just sucked. Now watching the movie again, the trio really gets
things going; as Jay fucks Kay, his last fantasy is fulfilled as Drew fills
Jay's backside with hot man-meat.
Then Kay reminds Jay that she has a birthday coming soon...
This was a pretty nice story - I thought the part with the open window was
deliciously nasty!
Ratings for "The Gift"
R'khaan (technical quality): 7
R'khaan (plot & character): 8
R'khaan (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Unicorn Prayers" by T. M. Carvett (tcarvett@earthlink.net). Review by
Fiddler.
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The unnamed girl who is the protagonist of this story had a fond father and a
strict mother. Then the mother died. The girl "acts out" as the psychologists
say. She tries to be perfect and to _be_ her mother. When that doesn't work,
she turns her emerging sexual feelings into art and into sluttishness.
This isn't a very explicit story, but it is a very erotic one. It is also a
_story_. It adds another name the line of Michael K. Smith, Tom Bombadil, and
few others who write stories which deal with issues.
Ratings for "The Unicorn Prayers":
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 10
"Layers" by Stroker Ace (John Dark Repost). Guest Review by Mary Jorsay
Gandmar (maryjg@finebody.com).
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No ambivalence about my reactions to this one.
It's gripping writing, smooth, clean and effortless, literate and very au
courant. It is a riveting, mesmerizing story of the most terrible and
invidious form of torture - the warping and twisting of a mind, a personality,
the very essence of a human being.
High sophistication, a singularly appropriate title, fluent prose, vividly
realized narrative are all superbly held together by the metaphor that anchors
the tale - the loving, persistent, tedious, yet ultimately gratifying business
of scraping a classic car down to its bare metal (read mettle) and then re-
building its colour and texture and form by hand, layer by layer, till it is,
finally, exactly what you want, an object of abiding pleasure.
And this is just what is done to the lady in the story, the author's lover.
She is destroyed, stripped, literally, figuratively, emotionally,
psychologically, and then rebuilt, reconditioned for only one purpose – to
give pleasure.
Perhaps the only weakness in this metaphor is the opening paragraph itself,
the Introduction, which tells us about the car-scraping and the lady and
immediately draws the metaphor. That robs the story of much subtlety. Take
away the first paragraph, leave the metaphor understated and you have a really
powerful narrative.
Powerful is an injustice. Savage might be more appropriate. What can be more
terrible than the conscious, deliberate destruction of a mind only to remold
it into a form more sexually compliant and pleasurable to oneself?
But the metaphor goes far, far beyond the mirroring of car and woman. It works
at a number of levels (again ... layers ...) - one sees the difference in the
relationship between author and lover at the start of the story (she is tough,
aggressive, knows her mind), and its metamorphosis at the end.
How this happens and who does it is another set of layers ... another couple,
another woman, another man, the man similarly tearing down and rebuilding his
own creature, his own creation, a woman he has bought in a country that is
itself being torn down and rebuilt (more layers ...) into something someone
else finds acceptable. This man, not quite evil, but almost, himself complex,
deeply layered, capable of molding relationships and people but,
imperceptibly, though he claims to the contrary, changing with every change he
makes to another.
Above all, this is a vicious attack on our society today - a society that is
so befuddled at its heart and core that it allows humans to be bought and
sold, compels this in fact by forcing inhumanity on humans; a society so
demented and depraved that it allows enormous wealth to co-exist with abject
poverty; sophistication with perversion, beauty with ugliness; a society that
views fundamental inequities with tragic indifference and reduces human beings
to numbers and playthings. This is fin-de-siecle Frankensteinism, an awful,
brutal and telling comment on the horrors of our time.
And yet it is deeply caring, at yet another layer. There is a real sadness
here, I think, as the author tells us this tale and seems to say - see, see
what we were and what we have become, what we have made ourselves become, what
we have let ourselves become.
'Layers' is that rarity - a truly intelligent, creative work that could,
possibly, change the way you look at things, people, sex, sexuality,
sensuality. It's not porn. It's not even really erotica. It deserves the
widest of audiences.
Ratings for "Layers"
Athena (Technical Quality) : 10
Venus (Plot & Character) : 10+
Mary (Appeal to reviewer) : 10 +
* "The O'Stikkit Inn" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com).
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I'll bet you wouldn't notice this on your own; so I'll tell you. If you read
the title " O'Stikkit Inn" by Mike Hunt out loud, it could be mistaken for an
imperative sentence giving directions during foreplay. Imagine that.
This is a VERY hot story. As an example of sex in the swimming pool, it rivals
"Slippery When Wet" by SueNH. As I said in my review of Sue's story, I can't
do it justice by trying to summarize it - It's about a man and a woman who
meet a guy in the bar and then get into the hotel's swimming pool after
closing time. Read the story for the rest. As I said, it's really hot stuff.
Ratings for "The O'Stikkit Inn"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Princess's Court" by Plainman (an701930@anon.penet.fi).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=177163317 00
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=223148869 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=177213702 02
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=177098905 03
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=177194208 04
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=177062950 05
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=177108385 06
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=177366808 07
These seven stories are interconnected to such an extent that I do not want to
review them separately. It IS reasonable to read one story, then stop, then
read the next a few days later. However, I don't think it would be a good idea
to read story 7, then 1, then 4, etc. The proper order is:
1. Confession
2. Pre-Trial Proceedings
3. Girl Talk
4: Crime Scene
5: Claire
6: Motion to Dismiss
7: Night Court
The author describes the series as mainly a married male-female romance, with
lots of adultery in the "wife-watching" vein, lots of consensual brother-
sister incest, a fair amount of female-female fun, several loss of virginity
scenes (in reminiscence), some anal sex, and a threat of fairly harsh
consensual (but protested!) punishment that hangs over the whole series and is
brought to fruition in the final part. There is no explicit male-male sex,
although one character hints of interests in that direction There is also no
pedophilia. The adult characters have children, whom they speak of; but they
take appropriate care to keep the children away from their sexual activities.
Each story consists entirely of dialogue; we have to infer what else is
happening. It's like overhearing telephone conversations or listening through
a thin wall at a motel. Everything not spoken is left to the imagination.
Since the conversations are vivid, the reader's imagination is likely to be
busy.
Early on we learn that somebody referred to as Princess is married to a man
called Trooper. She has been unfaithful while away on a trip. She tells
Trooper about her infidelity, and although he seems titillated, he plans to
convene something called the Family Court to punish Princess. The other
members of the Family Court appear to be David, the sister of Princess who has
been sexually active with her in the past, and Judy, the Princess's childhood
friend and current sex partner who is apparently intimately involved with
David. The interrelationships among these characters become clearer in
succeeding stories.
Each story reveals its details in interesting ways. For example, in one
segment Princess discusses her infidelity with her husband by telephone from
an airplane, while she is in danger of being overheard by the people around
her. In another segment we hear Dave and Judy making love, talking about their
past experiences and integrating fantasies from the past with their present
lovemaking. The author uses flashbacks and innuendo to build some really hot
images.
The series was originally entitled "Family Court," but the author changed the
title, in order to distance the story from any suggestion of pedophilia. I see
his point; but the change lost something important. The term Family Court
occurs in the story, with obvious reference to the trial and punishment
administered to Princess. However, a second meaning of "court" (which is not
initially evident with the original title) is the group of people who hang
around a royal person - as in "the king and his court." As the reader moves
through the story, it becomes obvious that this second meaning is also
relevant - the Princess is not only SUBJECTED to a court, she also HAS a
court. The new title shifts the initial emphasis so far toward the second
meaning that it ruins the fun that comes from the insight of discovering this
second meaning. If you have any idea what I am talking about, this paragraph
may have been interesting.
I have a brother and sister and associated in-laws with whom I have never had
sex and don't intend to do so. However, I think there is a little bit of the
Princess in me; and I truly enjoyed the vicarious experiences I found by
eavesdropping on the Princess and her court. On another personal note, I'm
still not interested in getting into the punishment and humiliation stuff that
Princess gets off on. On the other hand, stories like this help me believe
that I really wouldn't be upset if my next-door neighbors were into this kind
of thing - as long as I had binoculars. I might even let my kids play with
theirs - as long as they didn't have binoculars.
This was an excellent, highly creative story.
Ratings for "Princess's Court"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Newhart: The Made Maid" by Uncle Mike (fr582@cleveland.Freenet.Edu).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=163905244
At first I was disappointed with this story. I was expecting a parody of the
Bob Newhart Show in which Bob plays a psychologist in Chicago. Instead I found
a parody of the more recent Bob Newhart Show, in which Bob plays a writer who
is also the owner of an Inn in New England. I wasn't as familiar with the
latter series, and so I expected that I wouldn't enjoy the parody as much. I
was very pleasantly surprised!
The plot is perfect; it actually fits in with the personalities and mannerisms
of the characters. Stephanie (the ditzy, lazy, rich girl who is a maid but
never does any work) develops a rivalry with Joanna, and to prove her case she
seduces Dick (the Bob Newhart character). In retaliation, Joanna seduces
Michael (Stephanie's preppie boyfriend). In further retaliation, Joanna tricks
Stephanie into having sex with Larry and his two brothers (Daryl and Daryl).
Finally, to make amends Joanna makes love to Stephanie herself.
As I said, the parody is very well done. For example, it is easy to imagine
the Bob Newhart character reacting just the way the author shows him as he is
seduced by the young vixen. I strongly recommend this story.
Ratings for "Newhart"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Steven After Hours" by Backrub (BCKRUB@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=388659417&fmt=raw
I strongly urge that authors revise their stories when they repost them. I
have reviewed something like 175 stories so far, and I think four of them have
been revised - all by Backrub. (Backrub even revises *other people's* stories!
The revisions all earned ratings of 10. So there's probably a lesson in this
somewhere.
Here's what I wrote in my review of the unrevised version in Celestial Reviews
3: "...at my present level of mature sophistication (yeah!), I would *not* be
interested in having sex with a person as shallow as Steven - a sexy stud with
a nine inch cock who thinks he's God's gift to women just because he drives
them out of their mind with sexual ecstasy while he's satisfying his own
lusts. But in our fantasies we can excuse a few minor personality flaws.
Seriously, if you're a mature person interested in reading about the romantic
relationship of your dreams, you may not like this story at all. But if you're
looking for literate and hot descriptions of oral, vaginal, and anal
heterosexual activity that make it all sound like a helluva lot of fun, this
one's for you.
In the revision Backrub cleaned up a few minor problems in the original and
added a final section with a bondage theme. This is the kind of bondage that
anti-degradation Celeste enjoys: the dominator is simply taking charge and the
person being bound knows that she's in for a free ride if she's just willing
to have it in the non-harmful way he wants to give it to her. Another good
story!
(Rating: 10)
* "John's Fantasy" by DJ (103666.3074@compuserve.com).
{DJ is the Artist Formerly Known as DJ810. In the future, I shall refer to
this author as DJ, unless the name is changed again - in which case I shall
then refer to this author as the Artist Formerly Known as DJ.}
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179530887&fmt=raw
Dana and her husband John are at a party, where she overhears the most
handsome man she has ever seen say that he doesn't believe there are any real
masochists in the world. He says he has never known a man that could transform
pain into sexual pleasure, but he has known women who have accepted it because
they loved their tormentors more than they hated the pain. He also adds that
he doesn't believe there are any husbands that enjoy seeing or knowing that
their wife is with another man. There's a third popular conception in which he
doesn't believe, but he declines to mention that one in mixed company.
So here's the setup. Dana loves John (as the scenes after the party amply
demonstrate). John's Great Fantasy entails Dana having sex with another man.
Dana would like to do it with the Handsome Guy, which would fulfill John's
fantasy; but the Handsome Guy specifically denies that John (if he exists)
would really like this. Dana makes a date with the Handsome Guy; and when she
tries to wiggle out of it, John encourages her to keep the date. She keeps the
date. You'll have to read the story to see what happens next.
I see Rene Descartes somewhere behind this story, but it's kind of hard to
explain. Also, although I think it's possible to build up a "natural law"
argument against the morality or psychological soundness of masochism, wife-
swapping, and the unnamed third sin, it's patently absurd to say that there
are no people who enjoy these activities. That would be like arguing that none
of Pavlov's dogs salivated at the sound of bells or metronomes or whatever. It
would be possible to argue that people who enjoy these behaviors are confused
or that they "shouldn't" do these things; but the obvious fact is that these
people do exist. To argue that these people don't exist is about as silly as
to suggest that _everybody_ enjoys pain or wife swapping - which, of course,
is the idea behind most of the bdsm and wife-watching stories posted with this
newsgroup. Hmmmm....
Ratings for "John's Fantasy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "American As..." by Deidre Ng (patriotic sex).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179316866
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179314180
Sirens blare in the background! Fireworks explode! Confetti and brightly
colored balloons waft gently to the ground. No; this is NOT again the 1000th
story I have reviewed; this time the pyrotechnics, etc., are part of the
story. Deidre Ng has become an American citizen! To celebrate, she and her
sister and their boyfriends do something uniquely American - they go to
Chinatown.
This is a hilariously sexy story. It's possible, of course, that the author is
not trying to be funny or sexy - that she may merely be relating the events
that filled an important evening in the life of a Chinese-Canadian woman
celebrating her enfranchisement and standing topless in the ladies' restroom
yelling sexual innuendoes at her equally untopped but more outspoken sister.
Serves ‘em right - those sweaters were like fashion foreplay anyway.
Or, as David put it
"I mean you look really sexy in that outfit."
"So sexy you have to fuck me even before I can take it off?"
"Overpoweringly sexy."
"Now that I'm a citizen, don't I get a vote on the subject?"
"You'll have to hold an erection to vote on that."
"Planning on stuffing the ballot box, are you?"
I constantly tell my students to find a main idea and to stick to it. This
delightful story proves that I don't know what I am talking about.
Ratings for "American As..."
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Skin on Skin on Skin" by Backrub (BCKRUB@aol.com).
It all starts when Stevie is playing a simple game of strip poker with her
boyfriend Brad. His roommate John comes home right after Stevie has lost her
last remnant of clothing; and what else could they do? They engage in very hot
threeway sex that I found to be very enjoyable reading.
Is this what we're paying good money for when we send our kids to college!?!
Well, I guess that's OK - as long as they also study real hard and write home
about their activities in sufficient, delectable detail.
Ratings for "Skin on Skin on Skin"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Catalyst" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339453442
All the other stories in this issue were written by "regulars" - people whose
stories I have reviewed before. In many cases the authors were kind enough to
send the stories to me for my convenience. And a fine bunch of stories they
are! I remember seeing this one in the postings; but I decided to skip it,
because I already had too many stories to read. Then a reader clipped it and
sent it to me with his recommendation. I want to thank that reader. This is an
excellent story by an author I have never read before.
In chemistry class we learned that a catalyst is a substance, usually used in
small amounts relative to the reactants, that modifies and increases the rate
of a reaction without itself being consumed in the process. Through metaphor,
the term also refers to a person who precipitates a process or event,
especially without being involved in or changed by the consequences. That's
the role of this story's narrator, who observes a freshman girl at a party
lusting after the hunk across the room. The narrator has two problems: (1) to
bring the two together so that they can fulfill their mutual urges and (2) to
do so in such a way as to be able to watch their hot interaction. I'd tell you
more, but it will be more fun for you to find out the rest for yourself.
The author is posting these as part of an "Alphabet Series." I plan to look
for more stories in this series.
Ratings for "Catalyst"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
CELESTIAL VOCABULARY NOTES:
DISINTERESTED/UNINTERESTED. One of the authors used this sentence in a story
this week: " Faith listened disinterestedly as she casually sipped her tea."
Strictly speaking, Faith should have listened UNinterestedly, or since that
sounds a bit odd, without interest. A person who is DISinterested is impartial
or free of bias and self-interest, which is different from being indifferent
or showing no curiosity. The distinction is gradually evaporating, since so
many people use the two words interchangeably. Personally, I would have Faith
listen "without interest," simply because both of the competing words contain
six syllables, are hard to pronounce, and therefore make the thought seem more
complex than it really is.
While we're doing vocabulary distinctions, let's look at the difference
between PORNOGRAPHY, EROTICA, and OBSCENE material.
The online dictionary supplied to me by Microsoft Bookshelf defines
pornography as "pictures, writing, or other material that is sexually explicit
and sometimes equates sex with power and violence."
The encyclopedia from the same Bookshelf (more correctly, I think) defines
pornography as "written, graphic, or oral depictions of erotic subjects
intended to arouse sexual excitement." The encyclopedia adds, "Pornography is
commonly divided into two categories: soft-core, in which erotic content is
more titillating than explicit; and hard-core, in which erotic content is
explicit and intense."
It seems obvious to me that if someone wants to talk about sexually explicit
material that is degrading or violent, it is necessary to use a modifier to
extend the word pornography to include the broader concept. If pornography is
by definition violent and degrading towards women, then almost none of the
stories reviewed in this issue of CR are pornography. And this stuff IS
pornography: As Mark Twain said, I know it when I see it.
I make this point because I watched a TV special a few weeks ago on which
people were denouncing pornography because it was violent and degrading to
women. As I listened to this conversation, I muttered to my husband, "Then
most of the stories I review are not pornography." Of course they are; they're
just not violent or degrading pornography. By not making the distinction, the
people having the conversation were seriously muddying the waters.
My Bookshelf encyclopedia defines obscenity as "acts, utterances, or items
(primarily publications and films) deemed contrary to public standards of
sexual morality. That's a pretty clear definition. It tells me that
pornography (something intended to arouse sexual excitement) becomes obscene
when it violates public standards.
My Bookshelf dictionary defines erotica as "literature or art intended to
arouse sexual desire." The Bookshelf encyclopedia does not mention the word at
all - making me glad that I received Bookshelf "free" with Microsoft Office.
In other words, pornography is the same thing as erotica, except that it's
restricted to "literature." My offline dictionary defines erotica as
"literature or art dealing with sexual love." My other Grolier's Multimedia
Encyclopedia (for which I paid good money) pragmatically defines erotica as "
the name given to any artwork--written, pictorial, or performed--that portrays
sex explicitly yet possesses enough value to escape condemnation as
pornography."
This makes sense to me. With regard to this newsgroup, pornography refers to
writing that is intended to arouse sexual excitement. Erotica refers to any
writing that describes human sexual lovemaking without becoming obscene. (Sex,
of course, is possible without love. As Woody Allen once said, " Sex without
love is an empty gesture. But as empty gestures go, it is one of the best.")
Obscenity refers to attempts at pornography and erotica that violate community
standards.
All three of these forms of literature are appropriate and abundant on the
alt.sex.stories.* newsgroups. About 98% of the stories are pornography,
because most people who read them find them to be sexually arousing.
A much smaller percentage of stories (probably under 75% of the stories I
review) would be referred to as erotic. I excluded 25 percent because a large
number of stories (e.g., rape stories) may be sexually arousing but not
related to what most people would call lovemaking. In addition, a small number
of erotic stories are not pornography – because they are not designed to
arouse the reader. For example, some stories in the bible are erotica but not
pornography: they exalt in the beauty of the human body and human love in
order to glorify God rather than to stimulate dirty thoughts. Imagine that.
Finally, I suppose about 95% of what I have reviewed would be considered
obscene by the standards of my real-life community. That's why it's on this
newsgroup, where people whose standards it would violate don't have to read
it. It's interesting that even on this newsgroup people differ in their
"community standards." Some readers regard incestuous pedophile rape stories
as obscene – and therefore choose not to read or review these stories because
the obscenity squicks them; whereas others consider the same stories to be
harmless pornography.
I don't think it is possible or desirable to make global statements about what
is and what is not obscene. I personally don't think it is right to impose
general censorship on any of these categories – although I do think it makes
sense to regulate the access of children at various ages to all three
categories. However, right now I am not at all interested in discussing legal
or psychological issues, important as they may be.
What I am suggesting here is that there may be some value in thinking over and
clarifying what we mean by these words, so that we can communicate more
clearly.
<end>
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