Celestial Reviews 297 - July 29, 1998
Note: A hurricane came unexpectedly. The ship went down and was lost. The man
found himself swept up on the shore of an island with no other people, no
supplies, nothing. Only bananas and coconuts. Used to 5-star hotels, this guy
had no idea what to do; so for the next four months he ate bananas, drank
coconut juice, and longed for his old life, while he fixed his gaze on the
sea, hoping to spot a rescue ship. One day, as he was lying on the beach, he
saw movement out of the corner of his eye. It was a rowboat, and in it was the
most gorgeous woman he had ever seen, rowing directly toward him. In
disbelief, he shouted to her: "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"
As she brought her boat onto the shore, the woman replied, "I rowed from the
other side of the island." Her nipples pressed against her shirt as she
added, "I landed here when my cruise ship sank."
"Amazing," he said. "I didn't know anyone else had survived. How many are
there? You were lucky to have a rowboat wash up with you." "It's only me," she
said, "and the rowboat didn't wash up; nothing did."
He was confused. "Then how did you get the rowboat?"
"Oh, simple," replied the woman. "I made the rowboat out of materials that I
found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the
bottom from palm branches and the sides and stern came from a eucalyptus
tree."
"B-B-But that's impossible," stuttered the man. "You had no tools or hardware.
How did you manage?"
"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the other side of the island
there is a very unusual stratum of exposed alluvial rock. I found that if I
fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile
iron. I used that for tools, and used the tools to make the hardware.
"But enough of that," she said. "Where do you live?"
Sheepishly, the man confessed that he had been sleeping on the beach the whole
time.
"Well, let's row over to my place, then," she said. After a few minutes of
rowing she docked the boat at a small wharf. As the man looked to the shore he
nearly fell out of the boat. Before him was a stone walk leading to an
exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white.
While the woman tied up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man
could only stare ahead, dumbstruck. As they walked into the house, she said
casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please; would you like
a drink?"
"No, no thank you," he said, still dazed. "I can't take any more coconut
juice."
"It's not coconut juice," the woman replied. "I have a still. How about a Pina
Colada?" Trying to hide his amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on
her couch to talk. After they had exchanged their stories, the woman
announced, "I'm going to slip into something comfortable. Would you like to
take a shower and shave? There is a razor upstairs in the cabinet in the
bathroom."
No longer questioning anything, the man went into the bathroom. There in the
cabinet was a razor made from a bone handle. Two shells honed to a hollow
ground edge were fastened onto its end inside a swivel mechanism. "This woman
is amazing," he mused. "What next?"
When he returned, she greeted him wearing nothing but vines - strategically
positioned - and smelling faintly of gardenias. She beckoned for him to sit
down next to her.
"Tell me," she began, suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've been out
here for a very long time. You've been lonely. There's something I'm sure you
really feel like doing right now, something you've been longing for all these
months. You know..." She stared into his eyes.
He couldn't believe what he was hearing. "You mean--?" he replied, "I can
check my e-mail from here?"
Second note: I get swamped with questions regarding "how can I find a story
you reviewed" and "how do I get my stories reviewed?"
With Bitbard's help I now post links to almost all the stories I review. If
those don't help you, I suggest www.dejanews.com and the archives at
http://www.asstr.ml.org/mainframe.html and
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/windex.html.
If you want to maximize the chances of getting a story reviewed, send me a
copy by email when you post it. I try very hard to review only stories that
are posted to the newsgroup - stories that anyone else can find if my review
inspires them to look them up. In addition, I feel I have the right to review
absolutely any story that is posted on a.s.s. or a.s.s.m. I'll normally honor
a request to skip over a story; but I often go through the posted stories and
look for offerings by new authors. My reviews of these stories help readers
know where to look for reading that suits their tastes.
Third note: Top Ten Things Men SHOULDN'T Say Out Loud in Victoria's Secret:
10. Does this come in children's sizes?
9. No thanks. Just sniffing.
8. I'll be in the fitting room going blind.
7. Mom will love this.
6. Oh, the size won't matter. She's inflatable.
5. No need to wrap it up. I'll eat it here.
4. Will you model this for me?
3. The Miracle what? This is better than world peace!
2. 45 bucks?? You're just gonna end up NAKED anyway!!
And the NUMBER ONE thing that a man should never say out loud in Victoria's
Secret:
1. Oh Honey, you'll never squeeze your fat ass into that.
Fourth note: I've had a couple of reviewers retire recently. If anyone would
like to apply for their jobs, please contact me.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
=====================
Celestial Reviews:
=====================
"Cloth Doll" by Mat Twassel (airport incident) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13083.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371795900
"Confessions" by John Galt (mild bdsm) 10, 8, 7
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13332.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582610
"Remembering When" by Anne Arbor (emerging sexuality) 10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13330.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582605
"Makeover" by Vickie Tern (transgender) 10, 8, 8
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12854.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12855.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322580
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322588
"The Beginning Of a Life" by LeAnna (counseling session) 10, 8, 8
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13397.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=375043480
"Joint Therapy" by Sarlife (counseling session) 8, 6, 6
http://www.qz.to/erotica/asmm/Year98/13331.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582609
"Passing the Test" by Rock Hancock (sex-slave training) 8, 6, 4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12684.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=368291063
"Hot Tub" by Mr. J (exhibitionism) 7, 5, 5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=375811840
"Nightmare" by Mark Aster (mild bdsm) 10, 9, 9
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13386.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374919921
"Grabbing the Brass Ring" by Unknown Author (dysfunctional sex)
8, 4, 3
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374733562
=====================
Guest Reviews:
=====================
"Biochemistry" by J.R.D. (transgender). Myers: 6.5
-- Prequel --
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059459 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059492 02
-- Biochemistry I --
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059444
-- Biochemistry 2--
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059407 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059418 02
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059434 03
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059476 04
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373606467 05
"The Shed" by The Big T (voyeurism). Nick: 9, 10, 9
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12423.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=365167370
"Thank You" by Emil (sexual gratitude). LeAnna: 6, 2, 2
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12787.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322287
"Crazy Tomas" By Hawk Richards (slice of sex life).
Dragon: 9,8,8
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13196.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373254359
"The Girl from the Village" by Paris Waterman (filthy sex).
Poison: 10, 8, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286386 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286394 02
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286397 03
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286405 04
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373280504 05
"A Slavegirl of Rome" by Bad Badbad (Roman sex). Gandmar :
10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13321.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374274047
"A Dip in the Lake" by Trisnics (sex on the beach). Dart: 4, 4, 4
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12558.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=366844430
=====================
Reposted Reviews:
=====================
* "Camara, Lady of the Sword" by Tom Bombadil (heroic fantasy)
10, 10, 10
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4180.txt 01
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4309.txt 02
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4384.txt 03
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4533.txt 04
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4749.txt 05
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4930.txt 06
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/5107.txt 07
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/5264.txt 08
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/5539.txt 09
* "Inger" by Friar Dave (romance & emerging adolescence)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=292720368 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=293046376 02
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=293565808 03
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294776224 04
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294761113 05
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294729804 06
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294734507 07
* "Homeward Bound" by Dafney Dewitt (sexual revenge)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=185795756
* "Feet Are Neat" by Mike Hunt (shoe store sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=239515599
==================
<<The Reviews>>
==================
"Cloth Doll" by Mat Twassel (Mmtwassel@aol.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13083.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371795900
This is not a sexually explicit story. The closest this story comes to full
frontal nudity is the passage that is in the book that the two leading adult
characters are coincidentally both reading. The woman spends some time
kissing the bare ass of a doll whose name is probably not Ditty; but if that
gives you a hard-on, you should see a therapist.
This is just a good, morally uplifting story about a slice of life in an
airport. It won't influence your sex life directly; but indirectly this story
will make you better in the sack the next time you go there with someone you
love. Lots of good stories can have that effect.
Ratings for "Cloth Doll"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Confessions" by John Galt (paladin_cs@email.msn.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13332.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582610
About six months ago I wrote a story within my review of DG's "The Call of
Desire." In that story I waxed eloquent about how I made love to my husband
while I was talking to another woman on the phone. I invited other authors to
pick up the story, and several of you did so. This is a delayed response to
my invitation.
In this story I {the fictional Celeste, that is} confess to my husband that
Rose had stayed on the phone line and had been giving me instructions while I
gave my husband a blowjob and then let him take me in the ass. My husband
responds {in the present story} with some mild bdsm. It's pretty sexy stuff,
and I suspect that those of you who get high on bdsm will enjoy it even more
than I did.
However, since this story involves my fictional persona, I can't help
personalizing it a little and responding as I would in real life. If I
confessed something problematic to my husband, he damned well had better
either (1) forgive me, (2) see a counselor with me, (3) be kidding when he
"punishes" me, or (4) some combination of the above. I really don't get high
at all on the infliction of pain, even if it's "only" a spanking. If he wants
to "punish" me by making me do something that more prudish people would
consider to be dirty - in other words, punish me by giving me pleasure - I'd
feel comfortable with that. But possibly because of my work with people who
have been abused, I would have a hard time liking a person who thought it
necessary to hurt me, and I'd have a hard time making love with a person I
didn't like.
This is still a good story. But the author forced me to personalize it, and
that personalization affects the ratings.
Ratings for "Confessions"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Remembering When" by Anne Arbor (AnneArbor@my-dejanews.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13330.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582605
I don't know what possesses lovers to demand that their partners tell them
about their "first time." I think we deserve a little privacy in our
memories. And maybe our original lover deserves some privacy and respect too.
This isn't a biggie to me. The no-pain rule in the previous review and no-
fantasizing-about-close-friends-whose-lives-we-may-complicate-while-we-screw-
up-our-own rules are much more important. I just think comparisons to other
people - even implicit comparisons - can be unpleasant. They can come back
and haunt you ten months later, when somebody decides to say something
unpleasant and digs up dirt from the past.
Anyway, in this story Anne describes her gradual escalation with her boyfriend
through the final stages of heavy petting and into intercourse. It's very
sexy stuff.
Ratings for "Remembering When"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"Makeover" by Vickie Tern (VickieTern@aol.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12854.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12855.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322580
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322588
The man in this story married his wife without her knowing he was a
crossdresser. That used to bother her, but suddenly she has embraced his
lifestyle. Why the sudden change?
Let's be accurate here. This man is not gay. He says at the beginning of the
story that it is when he is dressed as a female that he is most ardently
devoted to women.
Uh-oh - 1445 words into the story we discover that his wife has not only
agreed to let him crossdress, but she has also arranged for him to have a most
splendid makeover and has hired an escort named Eric to take him to the ball.
In Vickie's stories this usually spells penetration for the crossdresser's
ass.
When the man {known as "Jenny" when he's dressed as a female} returns from his
date with Eric, he finds his wife sleeping in the arms of a naked man with
whom she is sharing an obvious afterglow after a night of apparently riotous
sex. What's a guy to do under the circumstances? He didn't dare enact the
outraged husband of an adulterer, a victim of infidelity who has just caught
his wife and her lover in the very act. Not dressed and looking the way he
was. And so they make polite talk until the wife goes to the bathroom, and
then he sucks her lover's cock. Enthusiastically. Then he sends his wife
away; and while she talks on the phone, he has the other guy give it to him up
the ass.
After a while, we conclude that this is a tale of revenge. But who is
revenging him/herself on whom? Actually, it's not revenge at all, but rather
a gracious way to rearrange their lives so that everyone will be happy.
My initial reaction to this story was, "Gimme a break!" Then I looked back
over it, and I was forced to say, "Well, I guess this DOES make sense. Given
these assumptions...." But those are mighty big assumptions.
This isn't a story for everyone; but it is a highly creative story for people
who enjoy fairly complex transgender plots.
Ratings for "Makeover"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Beginning Of a Life" by LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13397.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=375043480
This story is a snippet from a counseling session in which a sexually confused
person is discussing with her therapist her present and prospective
relationships. It's an example of good counseling. Indeed, many people could
probably derive good vicarious advice from this story and apply it to their
own lives.
One problem that I had with this story is that it reminded me of a computer
program called Eliza that somebody showed me several years ago. Eliza is
programmed to simulate a non-directive {Rogerian} counselor. The program keys
on certain words and just feeds the clients ideas back to him/her. If the
computer finds no key word, it goes into a random response pattern, including
such techniques as saying, (1) "I see." (2) "Why do you think you {insert most
of client's sentence}?" or (3) "Have you ever thought of getting drunk over
this?" It was that last part that convinced me that Eliza was a hoax;
somebody was making fun of non-directive counselors.
So when I read this story, I couldn't help but think of Eliza, and I was
reassured when the shrink said, (1) "I see." and (2) "Why do you think you
{insert most of client's sentence}?" But it was kind of like waiting for the
other shoe to fall: I kept waiting for her to say (3) "Have you ever thought
of getting drunk over this?"
My reaction was, of course, irrational and irreverent. Although this is not a
fully developed story, it is a good description of an interesting and
productive counseling session.
By the way, one of the great tragedies of American education is that
counselors in our schools almost never conduct counseling sessions like the
one described here. Kids certainly have sexual problems that need discussing
and most schools have counselors who are as capable as the person described in
this story. The problem is that these counselors are so preoccupied with
drawing up schedules and mailing transcripts that they have no time whatsoever
to counsel people with emotional problems. And so kids get counseled by other
kids or by watching the soaps or reading this newsgroup. Check it out. This
is something worth getting pissed off about.
Ratings for "The Beginning Of a Life"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Joint Therapy" by Sarlife (Sarlife@aol.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/asmm/Year98/13331.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374582609
The main problem with this story is that it's difficult to decide how
seriously to take it. I mean, a professional counselor simply would not
permit one client to fuck another in a group therapy session. The counselor
would call security. If nothing else, his insurance company would require him
to do so.
However, I COULD imagine this happening in an uncensored version of Bob
Newhart, with Bob responding in a flustered way while two clients go at it
with vigor. However, in even in that case I'd still like to see the grammar
cleaned up and some more personality injected into the story.
Ratings for "Joint Therapy"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
"Passing the Test" by Rock Hancock (rock_hancock@hotmail.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12684.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=368291063
Steph {"36D-24-34. 5'08", 110 lbs., 28 years old. Green eyes, blond hair."}
has been studying to become a sex slave. Now she must pass her final exam.
She gives the Master's Big Boy her best blowjob. The master has a nine-
incher. Steph realizes she has her work cut out for her, which would possible
frighten Master, were he aware of the painful Bobbit pun in the main clause of
this sentence. But then Mistress comes <wink> with a ping-pong paddle rather
than a knife or scissors. Steph has been a bad girl, because she did not
obtain Mistress's permission to suck her husband's cock. And so it goes.
If you get high on predictable, mechanical sex-slave stories, this one is for
you. However, if it's spontaneity and creativity that you want, I'd suggest
that you look elsewhere.
Ratings for "Passing the Test"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4
"Hot Tub" by Mr. J (mr_j@my-dejanews.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=375811840
The grammar and point-of-view bothered me a little with this story; but as I
approached the midpoint, I was beginning to find it interesting. The notion
of a woman masturbating in front of a guy across from her in a hot tub while a
large number of people frolicked nearby was becoming a real turn-on. Then I
find the sentence, "You never could have started again, once you stopped,
without my commanding it." Why the hell not? "Oh shit!" says I, "This is one
of those sex slavery stories."
People who write second-person ("you") stories need to realize that they are
radically restricting their audience. Once I was told in this story that "I"
had to be a mindless robot fulfilling the whims of my Master, my pussy dried
up.
I think my problem is that I've done something close to this - roaring orgasm
while people milled about, unaware of what was going on. It was a much better
story when it happened to me without the domination theme. The thrill was in
sharing a secret, not in being a sextoy with essentially no personality.
People who are into domination might read this story differently than I did.
The specific problem that I see here is that this viewpoint is being foisted
onto me when I don't even want it. This would be a good story without the
domination theme. Believe me, I know.
Ratings for "Hot Tub"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Nightmare" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13386.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374919921
"You have to promise me," she says, "that, between moonrise and dawn, no
matter what I say or what I do, or how hard I beg, you won't untie me or
loosen the straps." What would your response be? Some men would probably ask
to see the fine print.
This could be a serious source of temptation for some guys. Very serious.
Ratings for "Nightmare"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Grabbing the Brass Ring" by Unknown Author {You gotta label these damned
things in the story itself!}.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374733562
What we have here is a story-by-innuendo. The narrator is an apparently young
woman who has been trying to get her act together after a string of
dysfunctional events. We learn from her meandering memories that she has
recently fucked the brains out of a pair of twins, who left her after several
months for other women, and that as a six-year-old she had crawled into bed
with her grandpa to comfort him when his wife had died and that she had
performed a similar service for her brother several years later.
The narrative evolves in a very confused fashion - I guess this is supposed to
convey the sense of confusion that this screwed-up person is feeling as she
retells her story. She presents herself as a bastion for good in the lives of
the many people she has "helped" by having unusual sexual relationships with
them. But while she's spent her whole life giving, she's never had the chance
to "grab the brass ring" for herself.
Yeah, right. I suspect the author had a point here, but he lost it amidst the
convoluted attempts of the narrator to rationalize her sexual dysfunctions.
As it stands, this is just a weird story that I don't recommend at all.
Ratings for "Grabbing the Brass Ring"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
"Biochemistry" by J.R.D. (jrdss@micronet.net). Guest review by Dave Myers.
-- Prequel --
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059459 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059492 02
-- Biochemistry I --
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059444
-- Biochemistry 2--
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059407 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059418 02
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059434 03
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371059476 04
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373606467 05
This is a longish boy-becomes-girl story with a kidnapping theme. From there,
you can usually predict the rest of most TG stories, but this one has a couple
good twists that set it apart somewhat. Still, there is little psychological
development, and once the twists in the plot have been noted, things are back
to usual in the predictability department. Unfortunately, it follows the lead
of so many before, and focuses intently on body parts, especially those that
are grown due to drug treatment (e.g., DD boobs). Some little bits of D/S are
served adequately, and are the most exciting parts. The ending is strained.
{Celestial note: The reviewer read and reviewed only the main story. I am
posting the links for the Prequel and Sequel for the convenience of readers
who want to see "the whole story."}
Rating for "Biochemistry": 6.5
"The Shed" by The Big T (gthomas@rocketmail.com).
Review by Nick e-mail Nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk.
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12423.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=365167370
<sigh> This takes me back. I remember watching our next door neighbour hanging
out her washing at the same age as the boy in this story (11). Since this was
the short skirt era (it still is, I suppose), I was treated to a good view of
her "equipment" as she bent to retrieve washing from the basket.
Although she was wearing panties, the folds, shapes and structures were all
discernible, and it was the first time I'd ever seen a mature female in this
way! I was fascinated and....
...but I digress (Well? Celeste has been known to do it, so why shouldn't I!)
This is a story about an 11-year-old boy who finds himself in a position to
observe the girl next door through binoculars. In so doing he discovers for
the first time the pleasures of sexual arousal at the forbidden sight of the
female form.
The writer tells us it's fictional, but it's certainly written in the style of
someone who knows what he's talking about, and of course that's what gives it
its quality. For me, though, it didn't quite capture the atmosphere of his
discovery, although a good attempt was made. Perhaps too much emphasis was
placed on what he was seeing, rather than the effect on him.
My ratings for this are:
Technique 8 Well written, but maybe the writer needs to have
a look at what he is trying to achieve.
Plot and Character 8 Good, the mother and the boys reaction to
her were well-drawn.
Appeal to me 9.
Adjusting for Celeste
Athena (Technique) 9
Venus (Plot and character) 10
Appeal 9
"Thank You" by Emil. Guest review by LeAnna.
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12787.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322287
I have half a suspicion this is an old Penthouse Variations letter, recycled.
It has that same breathless, rush-to-the-next-position lack of character
development. The other half suspicion is that this is an old story dusted off
and reposted, because (thanks to various factors, Celeste not the least) new
stories posted here are showing more and more sophistication in the art of
writing all the time. And this little beastie is as sophisticated as a shit
pie in the kisser.
Quickie synopsis: Businessman (male) gives good friend's (female) friend (also
female) a job. In appreciation the two women give him a tour of all their
local pleasure spots.
This one's not even bad enough to be good, it's just very . . . mediocre.
Although, to give it its due, in a few places it approaches high camp badness
out of sheer impossibility. At one point in the festivities, our hero is
thrusting deeply into one woman at the same time as he's licking her clit.
Now I've known some limber people, but this one I'd have to see to believe.
Naw, second thought, I don't think I want to; the mental image of a human
inchworm makes me a little queasy.
As does the cock-to-ass-to-mouth scenario. Never understood the appeal of
that one.
I didn't like it, I didn't believe it, in the end I couldn't even read it.
Give this one a pass.
Ratings for "Thank You"
Athena (writing quality): 6
Aphrodite (erotic quality): 2
Apollo (appeal to reviewer): 2
"Crazy Tomas" By Hawk Richards (hawkrich@ix.netcom.com).
Reviewed by Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com)
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13196.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373254359
I'm torn about this story. In some ways I liked it, and in others I was left
frustrated.
Crazy Tomas is a bum, we've all seen them, and this story appears to be a
quick glimpse into his life, complete with watching people on the street,
bumping into a prostitute, and the subsequent actions that one might expect
from such an encounter. I think that the author was trying to focus on Tomas
and subtly expand upon his character. Tomas came across as realistic, while
the rest of the city came across as more surreal. At least it did to me. Hawk
does do a good job of creating imagery and atmosphere. I am guessing that this
was the intent of the author - seeing the city through the eyes of Crazy
Tomas.
However, I was left a little frustrated, wanting to know more about his
surroundings. For instance, his encounter with the prostitute was precipitated
by him chasing, kindly I think, a grief stricken woman. The woman is described
beautifully from a physical standpoint (and I don't mean 36-24-36), but we
never do find out why the woman was crying, nor why Tomas was truly after her.
We are left to guess and I suppose that it is realistic. The woman would
hardly stop for the bum no matter how kind his intentions, especially if
grief-stricken, but *I* still wanted to know why she was crying. It struck me
as a waste to set that up and then not use it. A view settled a little more
clearly inside his head about his motivations would have been nice. It kind of
nagged at me, and distracted me a little from the rest of the story. There
were a few other small details that I wanted expanded, like how he had enough
money for the prostitute, why he wanted a prostitute in the first place and
perhaps why he was out on the street. Given the intent, focus and short length
of the story, I can live with not knowing. It didn't detract from the story
that much.
Hawk's physical descriptions of the people are full, though I wanted a better
look at how the characters were driven. The writing is clean and readable. I
was hooked early.
I only noticed a couple of small mistakes in the English. But overall they
were minor. It looks like a sentence was rewritten into a different view
during proof-reading leaving a "she her" where there ought to have only been a
"her". That one distracted me. A few other sentences had dropped words. And I
believe that there is a difference between "scaring" and "scarring". Taken
together, it wasn't enough to take more than a point off for. The small errors
didn't distract me too much. At least it *was* proofed. It wouldn't take much
work to bring the technical mark up to a 10.
The sex wasn't remarkable, but it didn't have to be. It wasn't really
overdone, and was appropriate for the encounter.
Overall, I wanted to see a touch more character insight and detail. Perhaps a
few more small details to explain some elements of the plot would have been
nice. The prose was solid and well written, and interesting. Overall, I liked
this story. If the characterisation was more solid, I would have gladly given
this story higher appeal and character marks.
I'm going to guess at what Celeste may have given this story. The appeal
rating is entirely my own.
Ratings for "Crazy Tomas":
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Crimson (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Girl from the Village" by Paris Waterman (the_panda@hotmail.com) Guest
reviewed by Poison Ivan (poisoniv1@hotmail.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13200.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13201.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13202.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13203.txt
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13205.txt
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http://x12.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286386
http://x12.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286394
http://x12.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286397
http://x12.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373286405
http://x12.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=373280504
In many ways, this is an ugly story. In the first half, the characters have
bad breath and they haven't bathed recently. They fuck on a filthy, shit-
strewn porch. The only reason they aren't disgusted with one another is each
thinks they probably smell worse than the other does.
Bruno and Ginger are the filthy couple, and while theirs isn't the prettiest
fuck you'd ever want to see, at least they get off in a big way. The first
half of this story documents Bruno and Ginger getting together for the first
time.
The story takes a turn when, in the heat of the moment, Ginger blurts out that
she wants to be with another woman. Bruno gets pissed off, and Ginger
receives a backhand to the face. It turns out that Ginger doesn't mind being
hit, and Bruno apologizes. In fact, Bruno is so sorry he volunteers to help
Ginger find a lesbian to have sex with.
The lesbian they find isn't the nicest gal you'd ever want to meet, either.
But at least this time everyone took baths first. The lesbian sex has an
undercurrent of humiliation that sometimes made me uncomfortable.
"The Girl from the Village" is not the kind of story I'd read for arousal,
which probably explains why I thought the very long sex scenes were a little
too long. And there were a few other minor problems. Ginger's confession that
she wants to be with a woman is so unexpected that it didn't seem believable.
And most of the story is told from Bruno's point of view (which was great),
but there were a few short shifts to other perspectives that I found mildly
distracting.
That said, this story has a lot going for it. In more than fifty pages, I
only noticed a handful of grammar or spelling errors. To this non-New Yorker,
the characters speak with accents that sound real, which is very rare in ASS
stories. Paris Waterman does an excellent job creating simple characters with
simple drives. The sense of disgust in the first half is built up admirably.
There are many nice descriptions along the way.
The author has story-telling talent. If your kinks have something to do with
filth and mild humiliation, you may like this story a lot.
Ratings for "The Girl from the Village"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Poison (appeal to reviewer): 8
"A Slavegirl of Rome" by Bad Badbad (badbadbad98@hotmail.com).
Guest Review by Mary Jorsay Gandmar (maryjg@finebody.com)
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/13321.txt
---
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=374274047
Gore Vidal's "Caligula" aside, the only other genuinely historical erotic
fiction (it was too good to be merely pornographic), I know of are "The Loins
of Amon" and "Roman Orgy," both by Marcus van Heller. The stories were
terrific, with lots of action, sufficient plotting, economical yet graphic
characterization and, best of all, lots of extraordinarily imaginative sex. I
don't know if van Heller's books are still in print - I hope they are, for
they are a far better read than most in the genre. Vidal's "Caligula", of
course, is on another plane - relentless depravity from page one, but that was
the whole point, I imagine, and, being the writer he is, superbly done.
There is a sequence in "Caligula" in which the little emperor, increasingly
demented now, commands the patrician nobility to make their ladies available
for the delectation of the plebeians. This is exciting enough; but it goes
further, and a game is developed. A partition is erected with hole punched
through it at an appropriate height. On one side there is the man with his
erection; on the other, something that can only be "soft, warm and wet" - a
mouth, a cunt, an anus; and on neither side is the identity revealed.
"A Slavegirl Of Rome", while not quite in this league (not yet, anyway),
holds great promise. It has a scene not unlike the one from Caligula I've
described, except that the teenage girl here is in stocks (her hands and
neck), while her body is bent over a horizontal bar and her ankles are lashed
to pegs knocked into the ground. She is being offered as a spectacle - the
game is to see who can devise the most horrific means of taking her virginity.
The story ends at this point, just when a male reader might be forgiven for
being in a state of painful tumescence, positively salivating.
It is horrific, yes, all of it, but sensual and sexy nonetheless if you have
the stomach for a degree of violence in sex. One doesn't quite know how bad
things are going to get next - I found myself hoping for a knight in shining
armor, actually.
Up to this point, it's not really a story, more a preface, perhaps the first
part of a first chapter. The plot, so far, is just this - a slave girl is
being auctioned, she gets picked up by the Emperor, and is put on display...
and it ends at this point, awaiting the next installment.
What makes the story unusually good is the polished literary quality of the
writing. There are a few typos, but these are not obtrusive. The language is
smooth, felicitous, and it strives for a somewhat Biblical style. When Celeste
sent me the story it was just one long paragraph - and I carved it up as I
thought fit. Now each paragraph begins with an And ... This gives the story a
rushing, breathless quality, and yet preserves a certain detachment, not
unlike a Biblical narrative. There is nothing contrived about it. The writer's
"voice" perfectly matches the idiom. There is an impressive vocabulary and
grasp of the quotidian aspects of Roman life here, brought out subtly, without
excessive emphasis, just enough to lend
atmosphere.
But it's not only the place and the period and setting and the props. The
emotions of the teenage girl are brought forcefully into play - and here lies
the true power of the tale. The author makes no attempt to get into the girl's
mind and to write "from the inside out". Instead, he seems to be circling
around her, rather like a bird of prey, or one of the auctioneers or men in
the crowd, observing and telling us what he sees. The descriptions are quickly
detailed - indeed, there is no visible emotion, no apparent reaction left
untold - but it remains consciously reportage, cold and at a remove. This is
what happened, and then this, and then such and such. In the hands of a lesser
writer, this technique might have yielded mere aridity. Not so here. There is
a truly powerful evocation of an enormous amount of horror and empathy with
the wretched creature who is being subjected to such torment - I felt a
physical reaction to this writing, a quickening of the pulse, a revulsion I
could not resist, mesmerized by the horror. The author's own feelings do not
intrude; the reader is allowed to give full reign to his own emotions. The
reader is the plaything.
This is enormously skillful writing - and it would be a shame were the story
to stop at this point.
Athena (Technical Quality) : 10
Venus (Plot & Character) : 10
Mary (Appeal to reviewer) : 10
"A Dip in the Lake" by Trisnics (trisnics@hotmail.com). Guest review by Dart.
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year98/12558.txt
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http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=366844430
A young couple, man and woman, are spending the summer touring national parks
before returning to college in the fall. After a morning of hiking, he wants
to go biking and she wants to go to the beach. So, after making plans to meet
for dinner, they separate in order that each may pursue their favored
activity.
She's on the beach reading when she's approached by a beautiful woman. A woman
with great taste in literature, since she had just finished reading the book
the narrator is three-quarters of the way through. They bond quickly, and soon
they're in the water having a delightful sexual experience. However, their
watery location does inhibit eating, so they swim out to a vacant diving-
platform in order to indulge their desire to become more intimately
acquainted.
They're back on the beach and getting dressed when the narrator realizes she
has to rush to make her dinner engagement. Needless to say, she invites her
new friend to accompany her, and, not surprisingly, her new friend accepts the
invitation. It was, we are told by the narrator, the best evening of her
vacation.
I didn't especially care for this story. The plot was reasonable, but it
needed more flesh, more detail, and the characters had, for me, no reality.
Also, it would have been thoughtful of the writer, if he would have reread the
story, at least once, with the help of a spell-checker.
Ratings for "A Dip in the Lake"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 4
Dart (appeal to reviewer): 4
* "Camara, Lady of the Sword" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com).
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4180.txt 01
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4309.txt 02
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4384.txt 03
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4533.txt 04
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4749.txt 05
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/4930.txt 06
http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/5107.txt 07
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http://www.qz.to/erotica/assm/Year97/5539.txt 09
This story purports to be an ancient epic about Lady Camara of Tyberion
(pronounced Ka-ma'-rah, similar to cabana), a swordsman, archer, and minor
mage, who is skilled in unarmed combat as well as with many weapons. She is
highly knowledgeable in diverse areas, especially healing. Camara's stories
may only be told late in the evening, when innocent children, and even some
innocent wives and husbands, have retired. Few are unaffected by the proper
telling of her tales, though the reactions are often mixed. Thou hast been
warned! {I made that last sentence up myself!}
An epic is an extended narrative - usually (but not in this case) in poetic
format - that celebrates in elevated or dignified language the feats of a
legendary or traditional hero. In the days before cable TV and arcade games,
bards used to travel from town to town and castle to castle and relate epics
while listeners consumed mead. Epics don't have a climax and denouement that
follow the pattern of a normal novel or modern movie, and this may be irksome
to some readers.
I am not a sword and sorcery fan; in fact, I have a sneaking suspicion that
magick doesn't work at all and that life would be uninteresting if it did. {I
get tired of the rules constantly changing and the ever-present deus ex
machina to solve serious problems in unrealistic ways.} Nevertheless, I
enjoyed this tale, which presented interesting and exciting sexual activities
in the exotic context of Camara's quest for the medallion of King Merovance
and her simultaneous search for meaning in her life. It was a very good
story.
Like most epics, this story is presented through the eyes of the bard, who is
reciting the tale to an assembled multitude and who occasionally digresses to
tell another tale at the request of a Lord or Lady. Although you'll want to
read this entire story, the lengthy tale (360K) is subdivided into nine
chapters that permit the reader to enjoy the epic in smaller installments.
Ratings for "Camara"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Inger" by Friar Dave (friar.dave@teamhbbs.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=292720368 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=293046376 02
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=293565808 03
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294776224 04
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=294761113 05
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Roger is a single Father who is raising a 12-year-old son. He hires Inger, an
intelligent, dependable, but apparently unattractive college girl to do the
housework, to help with homework, and to generally keep an eye on his son
while he is at work. Bill discovers long before Roger does that Inger can
really be a fox when she wants to be one. Meanwhile, Roger begins dating
Bill's English teacher.
Well, while Roger goes out with Bernice the English teacher, Inger notices
that Bill has been running off to the bathroom to masturbate; and she asks him
if it's because he's thinking about the English teacher who is with his
father. Bill replies with something like, "No. I'm thinking about you,
Inger. Look, I have another boner right now!" Since they have to study
algebra, she helps him relax his erection before study time; and eventually
she integrates their mutual physical attraction into part of an incentive
system to get him to study hard. {Ooops! "Study hard" can have more than one
meaning in this instance, I guess.} And so the plot thickens.
I might add that giving a kid a hand job when he displays a hard-on that you
have caused is not a good way to eliminate or minimize future erections. A
more successful strategy would be to hit him in the groin with a baseball bat.
There, that should settle you down for a while.
As I said, Inger's method would not have been successful had it been her goal
to minimize arousal in order to facilitate the study of algebra, which would
have been a worthy goal. However, it turns out that she has needs too. And
so she and Bill form a sort of Reciprocal Needs Alliance. She will scratch
his back if he scratches hers - only it's not their backs that they will be
scratching.
This is a very good story. We get to see Roger develop his relationship with
Bernice and Bill develop his with Inger, who has developed a tutoring system
that manages to get the 12-year-old through calculus in just about three
months! The sex is very hot.
Pop quiz for Celeste: (1) Q. Should a man develop a sexual relationship with
his son's English teacher? A. Sure, why not?
(2) Q. Should a responsible parent hire a sexy college student and let her
have sex with his 12-year-old son? A. No. A parent should screen and
supervise his baby-sitter more carefully than this. If you'll pardon the
expression, Roger just got lucky. Inger would be guilty of statutory rape in
most jurisdictions. The judge would probably also be rough on the father for
dereliction of parental responsibility. Note, however, that it's also
extremely unlikely that a 12-year-old would within three months go from
remedial algebra to advanced calculus - no matter what reward system the tutor
employed. If a tutor could actually do this, the judge would probably give
her a suspended sentence and require her to do community service - consisting
of applying the same system to the judge's children or possibly to the judge
himself. However, readers are advised to ignore this information and read
this story as a very good fantasy.
Ratings for "Inger"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Homeward Bound" by Dafney Dewitt (ii361@cleveland.Freenet.Edu).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=185795756
The story begins in the middle of the action with the woman raping the guy.
It seems he had been in prison for five years; and the first thing he did when
he got out was get drunk and rape the old lady. He fell asleep before he
actually stuck it in; but dominating her was 90% of the fun anyway. Except
that when he wakes up he finds himself securely bound to a chair by a woman
who is going to have her way with him and who has a pretty good plan for
keeping him in line in the future.
This is a very vivid story. That's why this author is listed in my FAQ as one
whose stories I try not to miss. I am going to try to review some more of
this author's stories in subsequent weeks.
Ratings for "Homeward Bound"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Feet Are Neat" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNT@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=239515599
Every job has its perks, and for the shoe salesman the main perk is the fact
that occasionally a sexy woman comes into the store and flirts with or exposes
herself to the salesman. I've never thought about it before, but I guess the
salesman could fondle some pretty attractive legs from time to time and
probably catch a glance of some sexy panties - if the customer happens to be
wearing any. In this story, however, Mike Hunt is kind of naive; the high-
schooler enjoys the spectacle, but he doesn't realize that the customer (a
sexy older woman) is coming on to him. He gets wise about the time she brings
him to climax with her foot against his crotch. This is a very good story
about exhibitionism and voyeurism in the ole shoe store.
I just saw a notice in this author's repost of "The O'Stikkit Inn." Mike Hunt
is going to be on vacation and unavailable for a couple of weeks. I'm afraid
to say that sentence out loud: my husband might go into a state of depression.
Anyway, the author and his lewd and lascivious but lithe and lovely little
lady June will be driving through the American Southeast. If you're in that
area, you might get lucky and spot them - actually, you might spot them and
get lucky. You can easily recognize them from the descriptions of Mike Hunt
provided in these stories.
One good way to figure out where they're likely to be is to anticipate the
title of the next story. For example, if you were driving past a place called
the "O'Stikkit Inn," that would be a major clue, because "O'Stikkit Inn by
Mike Hunt" is a pun that conveys a sexual innuendo, and this author can't
survive without that sort of thing. You might think that since that title is
already taken the couple will now avoid inns of that name, but that's not
true: " O'Stikkit Inn by Mike Hunt 2" would be another excellent pun.
Personally, if I were driving past the residence of Seymour Heine, I'd knock
on the door and ask for Mike Hunt. If the person answering the door acts
confused, just shout the password : "O'Stikkit Inn." If the person is nasty,
you may consider mooning him while you utter these words; and if you are a
female, it would be appropriate to add the author's name. Then you'll get the
reception you deserve.
Ratings "Feet Are Neat"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
<end>