Celestial Reviews 294 - July 18, 1998 Note: Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself - television, ice cream, homework, video games - but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the cards they held. The other players became so annoyed that they threatened to quit the game. At this point, the boy's uncle stood up, took Johnny by the hand, and led him out of the room. The uncle soon returned to the poker table without Johnny; and without comment the game resumed. For the rest of the afternoon, little Johnny was nowhere to be seen, and the card players continued without any further interruptions. After the poker game ended, the father asked Johnny's uncle, "What in the world did you say to Johnny? I haven't heard a peep from him all day!" "Not much," the boy's uncle replied. "I just showed him how to masturbate." Second note: It's been a long time since the last Celestial Story Contest. I've received several suggestions, but I like this one best. So here is the announcement for the Fourth Celestial Story Contest: <<contest>> <<contest>> <<contest>> <<contest>> About 50 years ago Ray Bradbury wrote a story called "The Veldt." In that story a family has a nursery for their children that includes what we would now call a virtual reality playroom. When the children go into the playroom, they get the authentic feeling of being in an actual veldt - a jungle area populated by mysterious and dangerous animals. Complications arise when the playroom takes on a life of its own - when the virtual reality becomes more real than virtual. You can imagine what happens when Mom and Dad decide to close down the playroom - or you can read the story (which is in Bradbury's book entitled "The Illustrated Man) to see how Bradbury handles the ending. Your job is to write a story based on the general premise of a virtual reality playroom. Feel free to change almost everything. You can have adults rather than children, and you don't need non-human animals at all. In fact, it might be best not to even look at Bradbury's story at all - let your own imagination have full play. Bradbury's story is actually a Frankenstein story with a moral - what happens when we fail to understand technology and its limitations? Your story doesn't have to be like that at all. You don't even need to know that Bradbury himself once said that "man's machines are indeed symbols of his most secret cravings and desires, extra hands put out to touch and interpret the world." Post your stories as you feel they are ready. Send me a copy. Deadline is August 24. <<contest>> <<contest>> <<contest>> <<contest>> Third note: A Frenchman and an Italian were seated next to an American on an overseas flight. After a few cocktails, the men began discussing their sex lives. "Last night, I made love to my wife four times," the Frenchman bragged, "and this morning she made me delicious crepes, and she told me how much she adored me." "Ah, last night I made love to my wife six times," the Italian responded, "and this morning she made me a wonderful omelet and told me she could never love another man." When the American remained silent, the Frenchman smugly asked, "And how many times did you make love to your wife last night?" "Once," he replied. "Only once?" the Italian arrogantly snorted. "And what did she say to you this morning?" "Don't stop." Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com. - Celeste ===================== Celestial Reviews: ===================== "Office Affair" by Mat Twassel (sexual rejuvenation) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371380694 "A Most Unusual Afternoon" by Crimson Dragon (unusual bdsm) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=372063151 "The Shoplifter" by Diamond Joe (justifiable fuckicide) 7, 4, 3 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371227888 "Wraith" by BitBard (ghostly romance) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322510 ===================== Guest Reviews: ===================== "Kelly's Vacation Adventure" by Yarblack (group bdsm) Nick: 3, 5, 5 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370884556 01 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370884547 02 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370884550 03 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370884553 04 "Ann" by Sven Telsic (old/young romance). Tooshoes: 7, 8, 7 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369759546 "Night of Error" by DLLL511 (teenage sex). Mink: 3, 2, 1 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=364509150 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=364509153 "Warren" by Paris Waterman (philandering). Sven: 10, 9, 9 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370017334 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370879739 "The Bracelets" by Jan Williams (transgender). BillyG: 9, 8, 7 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371795617 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371795636 "A Fox In Sheep's Clothing" by Early6 (adolescent fantasy). LeAnna:8, 3, 6 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=367142580 "Settling Down" by Frederick T (well written porn). BitBard: 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322526 01 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322535 02 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322545 03 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322555 04 ========================== On this day in Celestial history: Celestial Reviews 101 - July 20, 1996 ========================== * "At the Pool" by Mark Aster (swimming pool sex) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=232285736 * "Little Red Riding Hood" by Sarah Jahn (fairy tale sex) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=168680551 * "Break Room" by RC (masturbation, voyeurism, & bdsm) 10, 10, 10 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=201580848 ================== <<<The Reviews>>> ================== "Office Affair" by Mat Twassel (Mmtwassel@aol.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371380694 The narrator's love life with his wife has been mediocre up till now. He'd like more sex, but she's passive at best. But suddenly she becomes a veritable sexual dynamo. She suggests that maybe the secretary on the tenth floor would like to boink him, and then she demonstrates just how that young lady would perform the act. The next morning she sends him off to the office with the best quickie he's had in years. Why would a woman change that way? Hmmm... Just thinking about the answer to that question gives me a pleasant feeling in a nice place. Ratings for "Office Affair" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 ================== "A Most Unusual Afternoon" by Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=372063151 When I labeled this story "unusual bdsm," I didn't mean "really kinky bdsm." What I meant was that this was a bondage story that is just not your usual sort of bondage story. Darlene and Darren are twin siblings who are seniors in high school. Darlene has asked her brother to do a favor for her, a favor that he only reluctantly grants. Through the first half of the story the author tantalizes us while we try to figure out what the favor is. Then we find Darlene bound naked in her bed, and we still don't ever really know what's going to happen. I got all the way to the end of the story, and almost none of the things that I expected to happen had occurred in this story. And I'm glad they didn't. Some of those things would have made a good story, but this one was just fine too. Ratings for "A Most Unusual Afternoon" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 ================== "Wraith" by BitBard (bitbard@newsguy.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322510 Gail is a young blind woman who has lived a miserable existence under her bitchy aunt's supervision while working at a telemarketing job that she despised. Then she finds herself in touch with a mysterious spirit, who gives her feelings that let her feel good about herself. Exactly how this leads to sexual and emotional fulfillment I'll let you discover for yourself. It was a very good story. Even if you don't believe in ghosts. Ratings for "Wraith" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 ================== "The Shoplifter" by Diamond Joe () http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371227888 A guy catches a teenager shoplifting and is going to report her to her police. She doesn't want that to happen. She'll do ANYTHING...PLEASE!!! As the narrator says, "Anything is a huge concept." So he makes her give him a blowjob. This story is not finished. It will be continued. Oh, boy! A slight technical note: Raping a teenager for shoplifting is not legal anywhere outside Iran. However, lots of guys seem to get their rocks off with this sort of fantasy. I guess it eases their consciences. A long time ago an author named TEX ripped into this concept. He pushed the concept further by having the perpetrator of the rape himself get gang-raped in prison. This is nowhere near as good as TEX's story. In fact, it's nowhere near as good as almost anything. Ratings for "The Shoplifter" Athena (technical quality): 7 Venus (plot & character): 4 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3 ================== "Kelly's Vacation Adventure" by Yarblack (yarblack@aol.com). Review by Nick (e-mail Nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk) http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370884556 01 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370884547 02 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370884550 03 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370884553 04 The story goes roughly like this. Husband and wife meet policewoman who tells them of two of her sexual encounters - one straight (but messy) the other lesbian. Wife then relates story of how she and female friend tie husband up and then bonk each other rigid. Cut to what is laughingly called "real life" and now policewoman cuffs wife while screwing husband, then sees to wife while husband sleeps. Finally husband watches wife have sex with policewoman's colleague who happens to have an extremely large dick. Yarblack took the time it took for him to write what came out at 11 pages on 10pt Tms Roman on A4. He should either have spent considerably more or not invested the time he did. I'm sorry I have nothing nice to say about this one. My own ratings are: Technique 1 (I doubt it was even reread by the author before publishing, let alone proofread) Plot and character 2 (these were soulless mannequins and there was no plot worth discussing) Appeal to me 2 (I did get a "soft-on" when my concentration wandered onto something else while reading it). I'll be generous when making the adjustment for Celeste, since I can appreciate that this might appeal to some teenagers. Athena (Technique) 3 Venus (Plot and character) 5 General appeal 5 ================== "Ann" by Sven Telsic (cail-@avara.com). Guest review by Tooshoes. http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369759546 "Ann" is a story about a young man of 17 who loses his cherry to an older, married woman. There isn't much of a plot. The emphasis is on feelings and impressions. The boy/man is waiting for his lover to arrive; and when she does, they have sweet passionate sex that the young man will probably remember for the rest of his life, and that makes the older woman feel young and free again. I like the idea of this story, but the execution is inconsistent. Some thoughts are very well expressed, especially the description of the orgasm near the end. Others thoughts are expressed awkwardly. For example, when the man is undressing his lover, it's described this way: "He slid his hand down Ann's back and pulled her sweater out from under her belt; slipping it off was like skinning a cat. She was sweating bullets underneath, and her breasts - medium-sized and perky - were bright red with blood. He began to undo her belt, his hands probing her vaginal area almost unconsciously - when she whispered in his ear 'wait'. " Maybe it's just a matter of taste, but skinning a cat and sweating bullets aren't my first choices in erotic analogies. But much of the imagery and writing does work, and the ending is strong, so I'm giving "Ann" a mixed review. Ratings for "Ann" Technique: 7 Plot and character: 8 General appeal: 7 ================== "Night of Error" by DLLL511 (dlll511@aol.com). Guest review by the reclusive "Mike Ink". http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=364509150 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=364509153 Marcy and Sally like hang together because nobody else hangs with them and Amber who is like really popular invites Marcy to a party one night. Marcy goes 'cause she wants to go with Mike and gets drunk and goes down on a bunch of guys and like ruins her reputation. She's real sorry later and wonders what she is going to do now that everybody's gonna call her the "School Slut." But Craig is a nice guy and really thinks she's nice and wants to go with her now that he's got her cherry. That's it. Really. The author took a few more words to say this, and there is more detail, but the whole thing reads like a teenage girl's thoughts as she fantasizes one afternoon. The characters are plastic and stereotyped, the action is unlikely, and there is no point. If the author was attempting to tell this story "in dialect" as it were, I may be doing him or her a grave disservice, but this appears to be an unpolished story marred by lack of plot, punctuation, or proofing. If I missed the point, I'll apologize right now, otherwise please try again. There were hints of sensitivity here and there, but they were brutally repressed. This is frustrating to a reviewer and the readers. Here's a sample: "Marcy, you got a fine butt, why don't you dress so I can see it." Marcy smiled, and moaned in satisfaction. Her pussy was soaking wet and she began to drip from her pubes. She began to lower her twat onto Craig's pole and sunk herself down breaking her own cherry... Ratings for "Night of Error" Athena (technical quality): 3 (like you know this could really use some commas and periods and maybe the lines shouldnt break in weird places and apostrophes are nice too) Venus (plot & character): 2 (this is kinda like listening to a stream of consciousness from some young chick as she fantasizes about some guys really gnarly cock...) Mink (appeal to reviewer): 1 (Just hit the "Next" button) "Warren" by Paris Waterman" (the_panda@hotmail.com) Review by Sven the Elder, who may be contacted at Sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370017334 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=370879739 Before I comment on the story, I have a minor question to raise on a point of grammar that bothers me a little. Perhaps Celeste might insert a sort of 'Ed Note' if she sees fit. I have come across the following phrase in this story - and I quote: 'She wore a simple black cotton dress that reached nearly to her feet and fit at the waist in a way that made it quite clear she had special charms hidden beneath it.' The word that bothers me in this context is "fit" in that on this side of the pond we would use the construction or tense as "fitted". Now I have noticed this same tense or construction used in stories by other writers from the US and I wonder is it a more common usage or is it *really* an incorrect form - I ask purely as I don't know the usage Stateside. Readers of this review should be aware that I have not deducted anything for its appearance. {Celestial note: A large number of short words that end in t or d add the -ed to form the past or past participle in England but not in the States. My advice is, when in doubt, check a dictionary. Also, when in Rome (Georgia), talk the way the Romans do.} Now on with the story. Warren, we are told, is the Male lead in the story who is a philandering son of a ... who has to have a new woman every night. There is a soliloquy, the author's word on his problems and needs. Part one, of what looks like it could become a series, follows. Given that this is a lifestyle that is perhaps unwise for more than one reason, this is a hot story. The seduction sequence is well written, although at one point the plot was written almost in the vein of a MC story. In fact the codes on the header of the first part are simply MF without further amplification. Technical quality, other than my query above, appears to be good; it certainly did not get in my way when I was reading the story, which I enjoyed. A note to end on. Celeste sent me part one, which, as it is a complete story. I am happy to break my usual rule of being unwilling to review without being able to read the completed item. A comment that part 2 had been posted allowed me to check it out and find that indeed the stories, although part of a sequence, can be read individually without detriment. Ratings for "Warren" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 9 Sven (appeal to reviewer): 9 ================== "The Bracelets" by Jan Williams. Guest Review by BillyG (hayden@mindless.com) http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371795617 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=371795636 One time, in the throes of passion while making love with my girlfriend, I wondered what she was feeling? I wondered what it would be like, being her, that moment? With escalation of our lust, the borders between us - where I ended and she began - blurred and I began to mentally slip into a more feminine role, a feminine mind-set. Or so I thought. Later, I shared this fantasy with her. Not surprisingly, she'd wondered the same thing from time to time. This served as the spin-off of a rich fantasy connection, each sharing what he or she experienced or fantasized in our sex lives. We decided that fully experiencing the other would require us to *become* the other, yet retaining enough of our original personality that we might not lose the voyeuristic aspect of either of us being the other while knowing and remembering it. Of course, this raised inevitable questions. Were we to switch bodies, would I know how to walk or sit as a woman? Would she know how to use the stand-up urinal in the Men's room? If I were 'watching' in a woman's body, whose desires would dominate? As a woman, would I want to get it on with a guy? Or would I have the hots for a woman? The further we took the fantasy, the more complicated and intricate it became. "The Bracelets" embraces the same fantasy. Cindy and Rick, and American couple vacationing in England, find a set of bracelets in an antique shop that turn out to have magical properties. Each bracelet is sex-linked. That is, there's a male bracelet and a female bracelet. More there are other magical properties that are governed by just how the bracelet is worn. Not only can the wearer's sex be changed, but the type of change is influenced by the desires of the other person present. Or any other person who is close. The opportunities for mutual experimentation are many and this story explores most. While the basic premise fed right into one of my own fantasies, for technical reasons, it didn't grab me as I thought it might. Perhaps because it was so superficially descriptive, I didn't experience the emotions much less the passion of the sex. Too many combinations and permutation bred a near-mechanical laundry list of situations, none of which were seductive or very erotic. Damn. Ratings for "The Bracelets" Athena (technical quality): 9 Venus (plot & character): 8 (Good plot, thin characters) BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 7 (Wish there were more passion and depth) ================== "A Fox In Sheep's Clothing" by Early6 (early6@yahoo.com). Guest review by LeAnna. This means _only_ my personal opinion, nothing more. http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=367142580 Basic synopsis: Boy meets girl around school. Boy pops a boner every time he sees girl. Girl starts touching him and inviting him... This is one of these stories that had me saying, "yeah, right" the entire time. I don't mean to be rude; but in the world of fantasy, you should be able to accept even the outrageous. I have a feeling that the author of this story is a 50-year old with a penchant for schoolgirls, or a schoolboy who wrote out this lurid fantasy spurred by short-skirted babes. In any case, it felt unrealistically lopsided. This accounts for low plot/character score. Technically, it wasn't the best, but I didn't find myself distracted by many errors on casual read. A closer examination would probably reveal more mistakes, however, the casual, first read is what counts the most for me. As for appeal -- the score is indeed low because it didn't appeal to me. The story didn't present a fresh view in my mind like a good story should, and the sex did not stimulate me. But -- that's the bad news. The good news is: This is obviously a honest effort at a story, and the descriptions are lush. I love descriptions that I can devour like chocolate, and these are it. I applaud the author's descriptions and if s/he feels inclined to write another story with a better plot line, I would probably welcome it with open arms. My prior prejudice toward unrealistic schoolgirl stories is what dragged it down the most for me, even though I tried to be impartial. That is what took LeAnna score up from 2 -- the descriptions. If nothing else, read this story to listen how our flowery schoolboy describes things. Ratings for "A Fox In Sheep's Clothing" Athena (technical quality): 8 Venus (plot and character): 3 LeAnna (appeal to reviewer):6 ================== "Settling Down" by Frederick T (an19164@anon.nymserver.com). Guest Review by Bitbard (bitbard@newsguy.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322526 01 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322535 02 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322545 03 http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=369322555 04 Willy Tamarak is a continuing adventure story, or I should say continuing porno story. What makes this series interesting is that it's well written porno. The plots (if any) are merely an excuse for everyone to get naked; and the characters wouldn't know a dilemma, unless it was choosing between taking it (or stuffing it) up the cunt or ass. However this is not necessarily a bad thing at all. Sometimes you want a deep and profound story, and sometimes you just want a story that will grab you by the balls (or other areas) and inspire a blind lust. Tamarak fills the second niche and does it well. Since this story is part of a larger series it can be a bit confusing to those who have not followed the previous stories. Take for instance this sentence from chapter 1: "Carol Whitouski (WT-A#4,8A/B,12, SL-Ch3, WT-T#13) was just keeping up with traffic." At first I thought she had really weird measurements; then the proverbial light-bulb clicked on, and I realized that Frederick was telling me where she had appeared before. Fans of the series will like this continuation: it maintains a high level of quality with minimal need for thought outside how fast you should move your hand. I rather suspect that new readers will find the story too difficult to get into, although I would urge them to look up the earlier stories. (*) I'm marking the scores for the fans of the series with a warning that as a continuation new readers will not find an easy story to get into. Ratings for "Settling Down" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 (*) Bitbard (appeal to reviewer): 10 (*) ================== * "At the Pool" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=232285736 Sometimes I suspect that the plots for some of these stories are not very realistic. Take this one, for example. Do you think that a guy in his middle twenties would really go to a swimming pool and relax with his pregnant girlfriend at his side and lust after a high school girl with shapely tits and a nice ass and legs that won't quit who is serving her community as a lifeguard? And if the couple did go to the pool together and if the guy really did feel horny whenever he looked at the lifeguard and if he did express his fantasies about this young lady to his girlfriend, do you think she would really find it interesting to borrow the lifeguard's swimsuit and arrange to be alone in the pool with the guy after closing time? And even if she did do this, do you think the guy would actually get really turned on by the fantasy of making it with this cute little lass while he was really driving his throbbing cock underwater into the pulsating pussy of the lady who will bear his child? Do you find this as repulsive as I do? And anyway, how could you get the girl to loan you her swimsuit and let you into the pool - except, perhaps, by telling her what you plan to do and telling her that she can watch. Ratings for "At the Pool" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 ================== * "Little Red Riding Hood" by Sarah Jahn (sfjahn@ix.netcom.com). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=168680551 I enjoy sex stories based on fairy tales, because I usually know the basic plot and I enjoy waiting to see how the perverted author will debase and enrich the original story line. In this case, the wolf is a lusty lady who could just eat Little Red all up. That's all you need to know; you can either fill in the details yourself or read the story. I vaguely remember a woodcutter or plumber or someone who showed up to rescue Little Red at the end of the original story; I guess that's the part that this author changed. I really enjoyed this cute little story. One anomaly: fairy tales usually have a moral, but this story does not. I suppose that's because authors for this newsgroup don't have any morals. <g> Ratings for "Little Red Riding Hood" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 ================== * "Break Room" by RC (74734.271@CompuServe.COM). http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=201580848 Jean and two of her coworkers have been assigned to a night shift that requires little real exertion. One of them routinely goes to the break room and takes a nap. One night Jean awakens from her nap and realizes that she has become bound to the wall. Shannon is standing in front of her, masturbating herself to orgasm. The sight of her coworker approaching her climax at first makes Jean anxious, but then she herself becomes very horny. She tries to break free - at first to escape from the threatening situation; but soon her focus becomes more on wanting to relieve herself sexually. Shannon finishes, and then Traci comes into the room and does a repeat performance. As if this has not been enough, both Shannon and Traci next appear together in front of their captive coworker and make passionate love to each other. When her coworkers finally set her free, Jean rips off her clothes, jumps their bodies, and joins the orgy herself. I have no intention of ever doing this myself. I was going to say that I had no INTEREST, but as I read this story I realized that wasn't true. I would honestly take legal action against anyone that did to me what Traci and Shannon did to Jean, but I really enjoyed the story. If I dream about this tonight, I'll roll over and grab my husband; I won't even classify the dream as a nightmare. I strongly recommend this well-written story. Ratings for "Break Room" Athena (technical quality): 10 Venus (plot & character): 10 Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10 <end>