Celestial Reviews 288 - June 17, 1998
Note: There was a man named Sam who had been in the computer business for 25
years and was finally sick of the stress. So he quit his job and bought 50
acres of land in Vermont as far from Humanity as possible. Sam saw the
postman once a week and got groceries once a month. Otherwise it was total
peace and quiet.
After six months or so of almost total isolation, Sam was finishing dinner one
night when someone knocked on his door. He opened it and there was a big,
bearded Vermonter standing there.
"Name's Enoch... Your neighbor from four miles over the ridge... Having a
party Saturday... thought you'd like to come."
"Great," replied Sam. "After six months of this I'm ready to meet some local
folks. Thank you."
As Enoch was leaving he stopped, "Gotta warn you... There's gonna be some
drinkin'."
:Not a problem... After 25 years in the computer business, I can do that with
the best of them."
Again, as he started to leave Enoch stopped. "More 'n' likely gonna be some
fightin' too."
Damn, Sam thought... tough crowd! "Well, I get along with people. I'll be
there. Thanks again."
Once again Enoch turned from the door. "I've seen some wild sex at these
parties, too."
"Now that's not a problem" answered Sam, "Remember I've been alone for six
months! I'll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear to the
party?"
Enoch stopped at the door again and said, "Whatever you want. It's just gonna
be the two of us."
Second note: Two Dutch girls are riding their old rickety bikes down the back
streets of Amsterdam one late afternoon. As it turns closer towards dusk, the
increasing darkness of the streets starts making the two girls a little
nervous. One girl leans over to the other and says, "You know, I've never come
this way before."
The other girl says, "It's the cobblestones."
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Janey's May" by Janey (military expedition) 10, 9, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360726560
"Scenery" by Nick (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352397471
"A Time to Cast Away Stones" by Hawkeye (romance) 10, 10, 10
"Party Time" by Artie (artie@netgate.net) 10, 10, 10
http://seach.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363256025
"Jesse and Jude" by Sarah Bradbury (older woman & younger man)
9, 9, 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=361194763
"Laura's Dad" by Mat Twassel (meeting girlfriend's father) 10, 8, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=361379950
Guest Reviews:
"Riding Double" by Titmouse (rape) 8, 10, 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360363462
"Closing Up the Cottage" by Losgud (adult incest) 10, 8, 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=278761721
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=278729903
"Furlough" by Friar Dave (first time) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303691 (1)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303697 (1)
"War" by Crimson Dragon (warm ff sex) 10, 8, 6
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359842030
"Doctor's Orders" by Parker (sex slavery) 10, 5, 2
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359201421 (1)
"Milady" by LeAnna (bittersweet ff sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=355700562
"Frankenmom" by Losgud (adult mom/son incest) 7, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=353222176
"Strawberries" by LeAnna (sexual nostalgia) 9, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363376817
"Us Three" by Jeannette (Lesbian Lecture) 7, 4, 0
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122619
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122635
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122638
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122627
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122613
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122624
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122631
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362129122
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122617
Reposted Reviews:
* "Hazy Shade of Winter" by Hawkeye (youthful romance)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=212320175 (*)
(*) Repost not by Author
* "April Showers" by Hawkeye (voyeurism & hot sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651286
* "Love at First Byte" by Steve Black (Cyberlove & romance) 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=270769994 (1)
* "Reunion" by Steve Black (romance) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362039311
* "My Weekend with Nancy" by Steve Black (romance &
menage a trois) 10, 10, 10
-------------------
This Week in Celestial History
CR#90 - June 12, 1996
-------------------
* "Buckets of Cum" by Mark Aster (private orgy) 10, 10, 10
http://x2.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=218485296
-------------------
"Janey's May" by Janey (Janey98@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360726560
This month Janey tells us about a recent dream. In the dream, many of the
people who write for this newsgroup have roles as soldiers or medical
personnel in a futuristic battle setting. The characters all vaguely resemble
their a.s.s. personas, but always with a twist. I myself am a colonel,
Bronwen is a general, and Sandman is a private. I suspect the ranks are based
more on age than on sexual vitality.
The main focus is the romance that develops between Janey and BillyG. Imagine
that.
This story doesn't have a lot of sex - just frequent references to people who
write about sex. It's really necessary to be familiar with the authors and
their work to enjoy this story. However, if you read the best of the stories
published here, you'll recognize most of them. This battalion would have an
average Celestial rating of about 9.96.
Ratings for "Janey's May"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Scenery" by Nick (nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352397471
This is sort of a companion piece to go along with LeAnna's "Ten," which I
reviewed in CR 286. Nick and LeAnna are sitting together in some sort of a
park, admiring the scenery. The scenery consists of nubile women, upon whom
the venturesome aficionados have been conferring ratings on a scale of 1-10,
in addition to generating oral reviews of the most noteworthy characteristics
of these invariably buxom young ladies.
It's obviously improper to treat people like objects in this way, but I have
to admit that I myself do this too. Occasionally I work out in a fitness
center, and the routine there can become boring. To boost my spirits, I keep
an internal record of alpha, beta, and gamma males and females. I visually
sweep the room from left to right. The first guy that looks reasonably decent
becomes my alpha male. He stays in that position until I come upon a better
specimen, whereupon the alpha male drops to beta position. And so forth. I
take into consideration not only obvious physical characteristics, but also
their personalities and friskiness in the sack. Since I {usually} have no
direct experience of either of these factors, I give free rein to my
fantasies. On alternate days (or when there are not enough men to establish a
hierarchy) I do females instead. Sometimes I even have an alpha couple. This
may sound silly, but it sure makes the time pass quickly. It sure beats
reciting Shakespeare to myself on those days when I forget my rosary beeds!
Anyway, these two people do it more actively and overtly than I do. They even
become part of the scenery. Omigod - maybe I'm someone else's alpha
female....
Ratings for "Scenery"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"A Time to Cast Away Stones" by Hawkeye.
{No Link available}
Sam and Jen argue and make up. The emotions and the sex are extremely
realistic. As we all know, the best part about a good argument is making up
afterwards, and in this case the couple have grown so close that they are
bound to live happily ever after - or are they?
This story was published in 1993 by Pure Blue Enterprises. At that time it
was the seventh in the series. In addition to the present story, I have also
reviewed the following stories by this author:
"Hazy Shade of Winter"
"April Showers"
I'll repost the reviews of these stories. I understand that Hawkeye has also
written the following stories on the "Seasons" theme:
"Summertime Blues"
"Season of the Witch"
"The Cruelest Month"
"The Real World"
If someone will post these or other stories by this author, I'll see to it
that they get reviewed.
Ratings for "A Time to Cast Away Stones"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Party Time" by Artie (artie@netgate.net).
http://seach.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363256025
Artie does not write complex stories - just simple stories that make sex sound
like a lot of fun. Artie sometimes makes simplistic assumptions. For
example, if two sexy mothers and a surrogate father decided to have a
spontaneous threesome in one of those tunnels in a kiddyland while they are
supposed to be watching the children, chances are much greater that they would
be arrested for indecent exposure or contributing to the delinquency of the
minors thereabouts than that they would have a delightful little tryst, even
if one of the threesome is a lactating mother who simply has to do something
to alleviate her pain.
But the story certainly is fun, and there's no harm in fantasy. In fact, the
Chicago Cubs have built a baseball empire on the foundation of their fans'
relatively non-sexual fantasies; and so what harm can there be in believing
that three red-blooded Americans can get it on in a play facility, while the
twelve children for whom they are responsible somehow refrain from doing any
serious harm for the duration?
Ratings for "Party Time"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Jesse and Jude" by Sarah Bradbury (SarahBradbury@unforgettable.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=361194763
Jesse is a guy whom Jude believes to be gay, and Jude is an older woman whom
Jesse knows to be lesbian. But they experience a mutual attraction, which is
quite understandable with androgynous names like those. If you want your son
to know he's a male, call him John or Biff or maybe Harold. No women have
names like that. And no men are named Mary or Celeste. But if you name your
sons Jesse and your daughters Jude, your children are going to have identity
trouble.
So anyway, the older and more experienced Jude gets her coworker Jesse a bit
high at the bar after work and takes him home for sex. She measures his cock
- 8.75 inches in length and 6.5 inches around. That would make the diameter
just a little over 2 inches. I know that because there is a constant ratio of
approximately 3.1416 between the circumference and the diameter of a circle.
I learned that from a nun, who probably never thought of applying the formula
to penises.
After Jude brings Jesse to a roaring climax with a dildo up his ass, she
lectures him on how to have safe sex. I have never thought much about it, but
a dildo up the ass is certainly a form of safe sex - at least on that
occasion, although the resulting minor lesions might cause problems on
subsequent occasions. Anyway, Jude assumes that Jesse is really gay, and she
encourages him to fantasize about a guy fucking him while she screws him in
the ass with a larger dildo several minutes later.
Jude's only real fault is that she has aureoles where areolae should be. The
story is generally well-written (but poorly formatted), and the sex is well
described and hot.
Ratings for "Jesse and Jude"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Laura's Dad" by Mat Twassel (Mmtwassel@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=361379950
It's difficult to say anything at all about this story without ruining the
punchline ending. It's not a full story - just a well-written, short
anecdote. Take a few minutes to download this story and read it.
Ratings for "Laura's Dad"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Riding Double" by Titmouse. Guest review by Nick (e-mail
Nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360363462
I've just noticed the story coding, and I think its wrong. It indicates this
is a "teen" sex story, but this is not apparent from anything within the story
itself. The writer would have done better to code it as rape.
This may be a little extreme, but if you are after a consensual romantic love
story, this isn't it.
Basically the plot is this: Large breasted girl is held down by two guys and
forced to have sex with both of them. By the end, she has had all significant
orifices filled. Although she says no to start with, she doesn't really mean
it, and has a thoroughly good time.
I don't think I've given too much away!
It is pure stroke and should make those who like mild nc sex happy enough.
What more can I say?
Having just had my bollocks chewed for some comments on rape I made in the
newsgroup, I'd like to add that this is a review for the reader. I see my role
as offering a guide for people to read what turns them on. I am not making any
moral judgments here - I'll do that in the ng (if at all).
My own ratings for this are: Technique 6 (the story didn't really
generate much atmosphere - it was really little more than a
description of what went on).
Plot & Character 4 ( well this is "stroke" - there isn't supposed to
be much of either - and there isn't)
Appeal to me 7.
Normalising for Celeste and applying a "stroke" correction for the "Venus"
mark:
Ratings for "Riding Double"
Athena (Technique) - 8
Venus (Plot/Stroke) - 10
Appeal (to me) - 9
"Closing Up the Cottage" by Losgud (losgud@hotmail.com). Reposted by John
Dark. Guest review by Stephen Peters (sxjames@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=278761721
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=278729903
Big brother has a problem. By opening his mouth at the wrong time he
committed himself to helping his sister Ria close up her summer cottage. Now
you wouldn't think that this would be a big deal, but said brother had never
gotten along very well with his sister. When they were children they "fought
like monsters" and now, as adults, they were pretty much strangers. Still,
like a dutiful brother he takes the long plane ride, expecting to spend a few
days with Ria and then be on his way. The last thing he expected was a sister
who has the hots for him. Thru a hard day of hanging storm windows and post-
hole digging Ria constantly (and with a fair amount of creativity) makes her
not-so-sisterly desires for her brother known. Finally, after offering him a
choice between sleeping alone in a cold, dark bedroom or spending the night
with her on the pullout bed in front of the fireplace (reviewer's note: some
choice!) Ria completes her delightfully described seduction of big brother.
OK, I'll admit up front that when Celeste sent me this story I looked forward
to reviewing it. I like brother/sister incest stories in general, and I'd
heard good things about this author in particular. And, for the most part,
Losgud delivered. Both technically and stylistically this is a well written,
enjoyable fantasy. For starters, the narrator/brother (he is never given a
name) comes across as a genuinely likable fellow. Even though caught in a
totally unexpected situation he manages thru insight and a good bit of humor
to make the best of it; learning (after accepting the inevitable) to enjoy his
sister's loving attention. The pacing was excellent, and the various plot
twists, while somewhat predictable (losing his luggage, for example), were in
no way forced -- they fit perfectly within the telling of the tale. The
author even managed to throw in a an unexpected twist that should please those
with a cross-dressing fetish. In addition, while reading this story I spent a
lot of time smiling at the author's clever (and original) descriptions for
everything from Ria's bad coffee to our hero's surprise at smelling his
sister's pussy on the bathroom towel. The line describing a pending orgasm as
having his sperm "safely buckled into their fleet of rockets" had me laughing
out loud.
Having said all the above, I will offer a small criticism. The author never
offers a reason why, after all those years, Ria finally decided to reveal her
desire for her brother. Granted, in a sex story one does not always need some
deep, compelling reason for the characters to have sex. It's just that while
I enjoyed Ria's bold and forward come-ons, she never seemed to develop into a
flesh-and-blood character the way the narrator did; and I think some
motivation on her part might have provided the missing depth. As it was, this
prevented me from *fully* suspending my disbelief. Still, this a minor
criticism. The author's clever wording, clear storyline and well developed
brother character more than offset any other failings. All in all, a very
enjoyable read, and one I would recommend if unlucky enough to be spending the
night in a cold, dark bedroom.
-- Numbers mean nothing without context, read the review --
Ratings for "Closing Up the Cottage"
Athena (technical quality): 10 (no problem here)
Venus (plot & character): 8 (almost....)
Stephen (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Furlough" by Friar Dave (Friar_Dave@mhbbs.com).
Review by Sven the Elder, who may be contacted at Sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303691 (1)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358303697 (1)
The Subject of this review is a repost, viz.:
"Subject: {FriarDave}JDR"Furlough 1"( MF )[1/2]
From: john_dark@anon.nymserver.com"
I have reprinted the above as I think this is a *very* good object lesson on
how a reposter should carry out the task. John_Dark has gone to very great
lengths to preserve both the story identity and the identity of the original
author. Moreover, his name only appears as the poster, not in the subject
line. More power to his elbow!
Enough of this trivia - Friar Dave is very high on my list of authors to read.
Much as I loathe erotic stories that contain references to minors, his
treatment of the subject is so sensitive as to almost overcome my dislike. I
admit to having read and enjoyed virtually all of his work published to date.
This story he prefaces by saying (A Bit of Spoofing Fun from Friar Dave),
which is just as well, as it contains a large number of Celeste's' Credulous
assumptions. If you can put them aside, and it's not difficult to do so, this
is another lovely Friar Dave story. Briefly it tells the tale of a 19-year-old
virgin seamen in the American Navy and the way he finally loses his 'cherry'
to a hooker on 14th Street off Ninth Avenue; which sounds to this Irishman as
if he might well be in Downtown New York. I guess his ship is visiting.
I don't want to give any of the story away other than to say that he has
difficulty being 'accommodated' by hooker number one, who passes him on to
another New York Madame. The story plot becomes even more 'credulous' at this
point, but the entertainment value is so high as to provoke forgiveness. Friar
Dave has, you remember, warned us at the outside that this is a frivolous
tale.
This is straight m/f and other than the fact we have a very young sailor, this
has nothing to squick the most suspicious of minds. Great lighthearted story,
with a nice amusing thought at the end. Not to be missed.
Ratings for "Furlough"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Sven (appeal to reviewer): 10
"War" by Crimson Dragon (dcrimson@yahoo.com). Guest review by Plainman.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359842030
After I agreed to review this story, I checked Crimson Dragon's DejaNews entry
and found out that s/he is one of the most prolific and versatile writers on
ASS/M, author of the SM/MC epic "Time out of Time" (now at over 100 chapters
and somewhere around about 1.5 MB, with no end in sight!) the gentle
adolescent ff love story "Four Seasons," and quite a variety of other stories
(mostly with some FF orientation). I hadn't read much of Crimson's work, but a
quick sampling (has anyone read all of it?) convinced me that s/he is a very
accomplished writer as well, though (for purely subjective reasons) not likely
to become one of my favorites.
"War" tells how two women, previously straight (at least in deed) and happily
married, find pleasure and consolation in each other's bodies as they await
imminent death at the hands of ruthless white-clad storm troopers in a war-
ravaged world of the near future. The two women don't have much individuality,
the sex scene is generic softcore/romance, and the social setting (the nature
and cause of the war) is sketchily drawn, so that the particular war that
engulfed the heroines stands in for War generally. Once the setting is
established, the story has little conflict, few surprises, and no humor - only
the (very well delineated) pageant of loving sisterly sex against a background
of destructive (and implicitly male) violence. The writing is very good, and
the situation carries its own strong emotion with it. Interestingly, the
female/love and male/violence stereotypes don't come across as strongly
judgmental or anti-male; the women achieve their mutual climax as the light of
a bomb explosion enhances the inner flash of orgasm, and a window implodes,
cutting them with fine glass particles - the blood and pain and the pleasure
go together, a mutually reinforcing gestalt. The total effect is more like
that of a poem than a story.
By the way, Crimson Dragon's "Time out of Time," though interminable (like a
soap opera), is intellectually challenging (like a philosophical work). The
device is that the male protagonist can stop time, which allows him to enslave
and mistreat women for his pleasure, while in one sense not injuring them -
they eventually will be returned unharmed to the point at which time stopped,
with no memory of their ordeal. He picks women with masochistic tendencies as
his playthings, and they all eventually succumb to Stockholm Syndrome in one
way or another. The story challenges the line most of us erotica fans draw
between fantasy (which we say hurts no one) and actual conduct (which does),
and also the line between consensual and non-consensual SM (make anyone
helpless enough and she will "consent.") In a strange way, the story works
like a feminist anti-pornography critique, burrowing from within by avoiding
preaching and taking pains to skillfully push the turn-on buttons of the
sexual sadist that is inside so many of us. The "hero" is an amoral
patriarchal God, and at the same time an omnipotent shallowly wanton boy, who
makes torture his sport.
Anyway, back to "War" for the bottom line. I feel the inadequacy and
subjectivity of numerical ratings even more than usual with this one.
Ratings for "War"
Technical merit: 10 (excellent writing technique)
Literary merit: 8 (Some would surely give 10, but I like more story)
Personal liking: 6 (for me, a little portentous, and not sexy, but I
admire the writing skill)
"Doctor's Orders" by Parker. Guest review by Fiddler.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359201421 (1)
Jacqueline Astor has a medical practice in Southern California complete with
billing to insurance companies. Actually, however, she is a non-M.D.
hypnotist. Her side line is kidnapping comely women, hypnotizing them into
becoming sex slaves, and shipping them off to Mexico as performers at stag
shows.
Her receptionist is an FBI agent on her track. The previous receptionist
having found out too much is kept in a back room as the doctor's private sex
(really torture) slave. Her new patients (mother and daughter) have just
arrived in town, and are hiding out from an abusive ex. Then everything comes
together. Parker gives us two endings.
As usual with Parker, the language skills and timing are excellent. (Although
the disclaimer substitutes "discrete" for "discreet.") There is plenty of
sex, but the emphasis is on how horrifying or degrading that sex is to the
victims. The problems come in the relationship to reality.
Taking respectable women and girls and turning them into sexual performers for
audiences of other races may be a source of horror (or glee, if you are built
that way). The economics of the situation doesn't add up, however.
Commercially, starting with prostitutes is both cheaper and safer.
If non-MDs could bill insurance companies, I'd do it myself. The police work
is laughable. (New FBI agents do not do undercover operations without backup;
if an agent goes missing, the supervisor doesn't mourn, he orders the phone
records of the place from which the agent disappeared; suspecting that a
villain engages in the white-slave traffic is not a reason to overlook
practicing medicine without a license and mail fraud--just the opposite.) If
a hypnotist could force a subject to have sexual desire from one key word and
orgasm from another word (in one session yet), she could make her fortune
curing the Kims of this world of nail-biting; she wouldn't need to risk
tangling with the FBI.
This was a well written example of an implausible genre.
Ratings for "Doctor's Orders"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 5
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 2
"Milady" by LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com). Guest reviewed by Bitbard (Formally
Sandman -- bitbard@newsguy.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=355424677
LeAnna's archive: http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Academy/2194
Historical pieces can be brutal on women, especially if they strive for
authenticity. This story manages to be both brutal and tender. Set in the
Middle Ages the lord of the manner has decided it's time for a divorce, and in
those days the church was of the opinion that murder was less sinful than
divorce (and you could buy indulgences anyway). Now, I've got some pretty
solid ideas about right and wrong; and to my thinking the organized religions,
even today, are still playing catch-up.
LeAnna doesn't delve into philosophy as much as I've done in this review, but
she does delve into the final tender moments between a Lady (Milady) and her
female servant right before the Lord becomes a bachelor again. The
bittersweet female/female scene is both sexy and thought provoking.
Maybe the best thing about the story is carrying through the "what-ifs".
LeAnna and I had a rip-roaring good time bouncing while soap-opera-esk sequels
off each other. But even if you can't see the possible entanglements of
future wives, the king, and this sexy servant you'll definitely enjoy the
story itself.
Ratings for "Milady"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Frankenmom," by Losgud (losgud@hotmail.com). Guest Review by R'khaan
(rkhaan@ix.netcom.com)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=353222176
You know, Losgud is one funny writer. Most of his works I've read have gotten
two reactions from me - I laugh a lot; and, well, we won't say what the other
is. When I saw the title of this work, I prepared to be subjected to some
story about Frankenstein's mom.
But "Frankenmom" is really Davey's mother, a nickname he gave her because of
her many uses of the word, "frank." Davey is a struggling art student facing
his first show when his mother drops in for a visit. The humor in Losgud's
writing immediately comes to the front as Davey and Mom are having dinner in a
local restaurant. During dinner, Mom has everyone believing that she and
Davey are anything other than mother and son.
Upon returning home, the two of them settle down for the night - Davey's mom
couldn't get a hotel room - while getting comfortable, Davey can't help from
noticing his mother as more as just his mother. The humor in his discomfort
as his mother does the bra-trick (how do women do that) is precious.
They spend the next day walking around the campus, finally arriving at Davey's
show, which turns out to be a big disappointment for him. They return to
Davey's room where, slowly but surely, things get hot between mother and son.
Where the descriptions aren't exactly run-of-the-mill for this genre, it is
delightfully fresh and straightforward. Nothing wild and extravagant - just
two people taking advantage of a great situation. Losgud's portrayal of Davey
as the consummate virgin and Mom's subsequent handling of the situation was
nicely done.
Ratings for "Frankenmom"
R'khaan (technical quality): 7
R'khaan (plot & character): 10
R'khaan (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Strawberries" by LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com). Guest review by Dart.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=363376817
This is a wonderful story. It's a story that takes place almost entirely
inside the mind of Linda, as she stands at the sink and prepares a bowl of
strawberries. Picking strawberries, Linda and her friend Nancy used to say
when they were teenagers in the 1960s, is like picking men: you have to be
choosy and it's hard to spot the rotten ones.
Linda's reflections as she stands at the sink sorting strawberries, and
memories of the men in her past, were caused by what she witnessed when she
interrupted her daughter, Jessica, and her daughter's friend when she went to
ask them if they'd like something to eat.
What were Linda's memories? First, there was the man who took her virginity,
not quite ripe, a bit small, but not too bad. Then there was Lloyd, whom she
met by chance while she was a nurse in Vietnam. He had brought his friend in
for emergency treatment, and she had consoled him when there was nothing else
to be done. They grew to be friends, then lovers, and then he too was brought
to emergency; the strawberry was bitter. Her next strawberry was dark,
screaming red, large, and, when she bit into it, rotten. She married him; he
was the father of her daughter, but their marriage ended like the rotten
strawberry she had bit into; she spat him out. Finally, there was Jonnie, like
Lloyd, a friend; a big, red, sweet, fruity strawberry. And now we're back to
the beginning, back to Jessica and the strawberry she's picked.
Again, this is a wonderful story, but I still have one minor quibble. The
night Linda and Lloyd first make love, just after they enter the hotel, there
were "... clothes flying everywhere." But later that same evening, they were
"... desperately trying to get each other's clothes off."
Ratings for "Strawberries"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Dart (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Us Three" by Jeannette (mswillow@juno.com). Guest Review by Bitbard
(Formally Sandman -- bitbard@newsguy.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122619
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122635
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122638
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122627
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122613
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122624
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122631
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362129122
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=362122617
This story begins by stating that "Softball games are a great way to meet
lesbians." Softball games, for the uninitiated, are a great way to meet women
period. I know this because my nephew is a softball player and it's become my
job to escort him to his day games over the past few years. Really he's old
enough to go alone these days but I go just for the fun of it now.
Unfortunately the story wasn't nearly as interesting as my experiences.
Jeannette (the narrator) and her "soul mate" Michelle meet Rachel (who
Jeannette met on IRC) at one of Rachel's softball games. The game is quickly
rained out and the three run off for a bite to eat and get comfortable with
each other before they hop into bed. Or I guess I should say, hop into the
circle.
A meeting at a softball game followed by a nice lesbian threesome would have
been good enough for most stories, but this story goes over the top by making
Jeanette a transsexual (a man who had a sex change operation). That stretches
the bounds of credulity a bit, but then the story goes even further.
Jeannette, in addition to being a transsexual is also a "Dianic Wiccan High
Priestess."
Having abandoned any hope of suspending my disbelief, I held out for the sex
scenes. After all, I recently reviewed a story with very little plot, but
lots of sex and gave it a favorable rating. Unfortunately the first sex scene
with the trio didn't make up for the wild assertions. There was some nicely
described petting and sucking but it was all wrapped up in out of body
experiences, spells, narrative choreography, and then a bit of flogging.
Halfway through the fifty-page story, after only the second (BDSM-style) sex
scene I finally stopped reading. To a transsexual lesbian this story may be
the pinnacle of high literature, but for me it was a long lecture of an
improbable fantasy scenario with a few (very few) sex scenes to ease the
monotony.
This is the first story I've ever reviewed that I have not read to the very
end. This may be a disservice to both the author and reader -- after all, the
second half of this story may qualify it as the best story ever written. But
I doubt it. And even if the second half was amazingly good, you'd still have
to get through the first half, and I think I waded deeper than most people are
willing to go.
Ratings for "Us Three"
Athena (technical quality): 7 -- In a story, emoticons are not
punctuation.
Venus (plot & character): 4 -- Impossible to believe,
uninspired sex.
Bitbard (appeal to reviewer): 0 -- The reviewer formally known as
Sandman.
* "April Showers" by Hawkeye. Guest review by BillyG (hayden@mindless.com).
First, the housekeeping: "April Showers" by Hawkeye was reposted by
john_dark@anon.nymserver.com and is said to be part 4 of "Seasons" (c) 1993.
The four- or five-year-old copyright may explain why I was unable to find the
bigger story. If "April Showers" is an accurate reflection of a larger work,
it'd be worth finding.
Most efforts at erotica employ a device that positions the players in a
situation that allows, even encourages, sexual intimacy. Many of these
devices are hackneyed and improbable. A few border on being overworked, but
still come through, as does these vignette in a college dorm bathroom.
The protagonist, Sam, meets Julie Brauer, the girlfriend of a dorm mate, as
they're both walking to the washroom. Apprehensive of being discovered, Sam
still positions himself in an attempt to steal a flash of skin as seen through
a large mirror. He reflects a moment on his behavior, recognizing he'd be
flustered were he to be confronted with her totally nude, but admits to his
voyeuristic compulsion.
At this point, the story takes an unexpected turn, a delightful one, a
sexually intense one. And after the culmination, we're left not knowing if
this was a one-time thing, never to happen again, or the start of a larger
adventure. As such, it's a sweet, erotic slice of life that left me wanting
more.
Ratings for "April Showers"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Hazy Shade of Winter" by Hawkeye.
This story must have been around for a while; it's a repost from the THC
archive and has a 1993 copyright, but I have never seen any stories by this
author before. This story read like a short version of a Dirty Dawg story. I
mean that as a very real compliment.
Sam was attracted to Lisa when she flipped into his life; that is, he thought
she was beautiful because of the cute way she flipped her hair out of her
eyes. They became close friends as they worked together, mopping rancid beer
and sharing other intimacies. However, since she was already committed to
another boyfriend, he loved her from afar. Well, you can guess where this is
going, and you'll probably be right; but you should read this excellent story
anyway.
Ratings for "Hazy Shade of Winter"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Love at First Byte" by Steve Black (c621097@showme.missouri.edu)..
This is the first story posted by this author. It's not perfect, but it's a
good first attempt. The gist of the story is that the guy has a bit of a
falling out with his girlfriend, who lives too far away for any regular
contact or intimacy In the absence of his girlfriend, he becomes extremely
attracted to an older, more experienced woman through an Internet newsgroup.
The sex via Internet is extremely well done. The sex via direct contact is
somewhat less vivid or less creative - it somehow takes too long to develop.
I enjoy descriptions of sex that is based on a combination of lust and
relationship rather than merely one or the other of these factors; and this
story has both. But somehow this story takes a little too long to develop.
I assume this author, like most others will just go along and write new
stories - and I hope he does. But someday, I hope he comes back to this one
and tries to give it a final polishing. The current version of the story
contains a combination of feelings and rationalizing; and the balance goes a
little too far toward the side of the rational. Another problem is that the
dialogue just doesn't quite sound realistic. Don't let this scare you off.
If you like romance, it's still a pretty good story. I hope a lot of you read
it and drop the author a line. You possibly have better insights than I can
offer him.
Rating: 8 {Old system}
* "Reunion" by Steve Black (c621097@showme.missouri.edu).
When I reviewed the first story by this author I complimented him for trying
to blend the emotional with the rational, but I chided him for going too far
to the rational side. This author is a fast learner: this story is an
excellent blend of the two components. I'm not going to describe the story in
detail. Briefly, it's about a man and woman who used to be lovers but drifted
apart and who become reunited at the end of this story. Some readers will
dislike it because in the first two-thirds of the story there is no sex at all
in it. Sometimes lengthy monologues about "how I screwed up our relationship"
are really boring, but the author effectively uses lines from "their song" to
break the potential monotony.
Incidentally, I don't mean this as criticism of this particular story, but in
real life when there's a problem with a romantic relationship and people seem
to be drifting apart, there's at least one good solution besides having an
affair or dissolving the relationship. It's called counseling. If you find
that reading a.s.s. stories and even my reviews doesn't help you get your life
in order, go to the phone book and look in the yellow pages In the Sulfur
Springs Yellow Pages, you would look under either "Mental Health Services" or
"Marriage, Family, Child & Individual Counselors." I don't know why it's not
even cross-referenced under "C" for "Counselors.". It has always angered me
that it's so much easier to find a car dealer or dentist than a counselor.
It's not an admission of failure to seek help.
On a less serious note, this story raises the question: When two people are
alone in a house and no one else even has a key, why do they close the bedroom
door when they make love? This was an excellent, romantic story.
Ratings for "Reunion"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "My Weekend with Nancy" by Steve Black (c621097@showme.missouri.edu).
Through a combination of brains and beauty Nancy LeDoux has made her way to
the top ranks as a manager within the Ultimate Wrestling Association. Andy is
a big fan of wrestling and of Nancy. Don't worry; you don't have to buy into
the idea that pro wrestling is "real" in order to enjoy this story. Andy
views Nancy as a beautiful woman who is good at promoting entertainment.
Alas, Nancy hurts her ankle, and Andy helps her. Double alas - because of the
injury, Nancy cannot sleep; and Andy helps her again. Triple alas, Nancy
needs a man; and Andy redoubles his efforts to help out.
It turns out Nancy is polyamorous. Andy has to decide if this is OK with him;
and he says he needs time to think. Quite possibly, the reason for his
hesitation was because he had to check the fine FAQ on that topic, available
on alt.sex.wizards. Then Andy rescues Nancy from her crazed wrestler ex-
husband. Next Nancy's sexy assistant Tamara starts coming on to Andy. Andy
likes Tamara but resists her, because he wants to remain true to Nancy. But
Tamara is going to be persistent. What will Andy do? I knew the answer,
because I already knew all about polyamory. That's the value of having a good
vocabulary and/or lurking in alt.sex.wizards.
Actually, I *thought* I knew the answer, and I was pretty close. But I didn't
guess the part about the handcuffs. This story has a slow build-up; but
that's probably necessary. The ending was excellent.
Ratings for "My Weekend with Nancy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Buckets of Cum" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).
http://x2.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=218485296
I suspect that this story is a set-up. The author knows I have been critical
of "Wannafuck" and "Buckets of Cum" stories, and he wants to see if I'll
praise a story with those words in the title. I'll show him!
As you may recall, Pat has decided to get herself pregnant and Our Hero has
agreed to be the father. The story begins with Our Hero waking up with a wet
pussy tightly surrounding his cock, coming three times before he himself
shoots a load into her cunt. Then Madamoiselle has a special request: "Would
you mind if we stayed in bed today, and you kept me full of sperm?" She's
serious. And there's not even a television in the bedroom with a remote
control that will enable him to watch Power Ranger reruns. Our Hero is going
to have to spend the whole goddam day in bed with this sensuous woman with
huge, soft breasts and a pussy that will occasionally suck his cock dry. Talk
about bad breaks! Oh - I forgot to mention that Pat also has a marvelous ass.
According to my count, it was during the fourth attempt at sperm implantation
that Our Hero's dick failed to rise out of its stand of blissful relaxation,
in spite of Pat's kindly and persistent ministrations. In other words,
Russell the Wonder Muscle was dead in the water. Not to worry. Exit Pat;
enter Julie - whose lovely lips and lively tongue bring Old Glory to full
staff. Exit Julie; enter Pat - and the deposit is happily entered where it
will most profitably bear fruit. Actually, I exaggerated for dramatic effect
- Pat stayed in the general vacinity to enjoy the fun.
On and on it goes. You'd think all this fucking would get boring, but it
doesn't. The author always manages to come up with a new twist - so to speak.
I'm not absolutely certain, but I think they broke the world record for
orgasms by a single male/female human pair within a 24-hour period - a record
previously held by my husband and myself. If you want to try for this record
yourself, here is a set of guidelines: (1) Have the guy abstain from sex for
two days. They didn't do this in the story, and we didn't do it on purpose;
but this will help. (2) Increase manual and oral stimulation of the ole
power tool during later activity. (3) Bring in one or more female friends to
help Mr. Wiggly arise to the occasion when his energy begins to wane. (4)
Use blindfolds and bondage as the situations demand. The preceding guidelines
will work most effectively if the two people are actually in love and really
hot for each other and employ sensible habits for flirting and romance that
sexy people normally apply. These guidelines focus on keeping the guy's love
missile firing. My assumption (shared by Pat) is that the woman will have
little trouble banging away if she's really hot for a properly honed man.
Ratings for "Buckets of Cum"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
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