Celestial Reviews 287 - June 10, 1998
Note: There once were two beer guzzlers who wanted something to drink. They
had only a $1.50 between them. One guy said to the other, " I have an idea."
He told his friend to buy a hot-dog from a nearby stand and to bring it back
to the alley where they were sitting. Then they went into a bar and ordered
two beers. By the time the bartender came to get the money they had finished
their drinks, and the first guy had stuck the hot dog in his pants zipper and
the second guy was bent over and sucking it. The bartender called them a
couple of queers and kicked them out.
They did this routine for 8 or 10 more bars until they were totally blitzed
and back in the alley. In the alley the second guy turned to the first and
said, "I'm hungry. Where's the hot-dog?"
The first guy responded, "I dropped that 5 bars ago."
Second note: Aesop tells about the lioness who was walking through the woods
and got a thorn stuck in her foot. She saw a mouse passing and asked him to
help her get the thorn out. The mouse asked, "What do I get in return?" The
lioness replied, "If you get it out, I'll have sex with you." So the mouse
gets busy taking the thorn out. When he finally gets it out, he looks up at
the lioness and says, "OK, it's out; are you ready?" The lioness thinks, "Hey,
what's a little mouse gonna do anyway?" The mouse climbs up and starts to work
away. Just then a monkey in a tree overhead drops a coconut on the elephant's
head." Ouch!" yells the elephant; and the mouse responds, "Yeah! Take it all,
bitch."
Third note: A salesman walks up to a house and knocks on the door. It's
opened by a 4 year old boy who has a lighted cigar in one hand, a glass of
whisky in the other and a hard core porn magazine tucked under his arm.
Salesman: "Hello sonny. Are your parents home?"
Little boy: "What the fuck do you think?"
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Up on the Roof" by Sventek (sex on rooftop) 9, 9, 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359406512
"In Control" by Bluelady (intense poem) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359201368
"Would You" by LadyBear (poem) 8, 5, 5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=357178715
"Spy Games" by JJ (really stupid sex) 4, 3, 3
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358682051
"Dance" by LeAnna (somber sex story) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360885404
"Destinies" by Kim (reincarnated sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360866726
Guest Reviews:
"Frozen Decadence" by Lady Id (vampire sex) 8, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358892327
"Jacuzzi Sex" by D-Man (outdoor jacuzzi sex) 8.5, 7.5, 7
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358010870
"The Wild Side" by Grey Wolf (action romance) 9, 9, 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=354649327
"Assmaster McStuff and the Clandestine Meeting" by Assmaster
MacStuff (sexual tryst) 6, 7, 7.5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348544565
"Dear Diary" by Parker (sex slavery) 9, 8, 3
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359201414
"Fun in Class" by Takeme (female masturbation) 7
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=357059041
"Drug Induced Lust" by sventek (horror story sex) 7, 7, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359406504
Reposted Reviews:
* "Up on the Roof" by Solo Polyphony (outdoor sex &
voyeurism) 9, 9, 9
* "My Own Private Idaho" by Wadsworth (threesome) 10, 8, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=275949510
* "Fun With June" by Bigtunaman (oral sex) 8, 7, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359556431
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359556433
"Up on the Roof" by Sventek (sventek@jps.net).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359406512
This is the first story I have reviewed by this author, and it is a very good
one. It graphically describes a man and a woman making love on the rooftop of
a large city. You have to assume that this is an apartment building - I
mention this because readers from rural areas (especially Amish readers) will
have trouble imagining effective lovemaking on slanted rooftops. To apartment
dwellers, sex on the rooftop is the moral equivalent of a roll in the hay.
I reviewed another story with this same title a couple of years ago. I'll
repost the review, and maybe the author will repost the story.
A minor problem with the present story was the occasional slightly
inappropriate choice of words and images. For example, when a guy is
caressing a girl who is braced against the little wall that surrounds the
rooftop, it is really best not to refer to her orgasm as "sending her over the
edge." In addition, I like chocolate and I like fine wine; but I prefer to
savor my husband's body with the image of one or the other, not both in the
same gulp. Finally, can a "steel erection" go into a woman's mouth and feel
like a "ripe fruit"?
These are not fatal errors. Indeed, they may be just a matter of preference;
and they distracted me only slightly. Overall, this was a very good story.
Ratings for "Up on the Roof"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"In Control" by Bluelady (bluelady16@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359201368
Most people think that a poem is something that rhymes. Actually, a poem is
mode of expression in which the author uses verbal imagery and interesting
combinations of words to convey ideas and emotions. Unless the author is
writing epic poetry, the emphasis is usually on the emotion.
I think I reached a new level of maturity in my adolescent understanding of
poetry when I realized that Walt Whitman's poems in "Leaves of Grass" were
better examples of poetic expression than the scrawls on bathroom walls that
began with, "Here I sit/ All broken hearted/...." - even though the latter
rhymed and the former did not.
Bluelady does a wonderful job in this and other poems of conveying the
intensity of emotion. In this case, she describes a woman who is "In Control"
during a lovemaking session.
My one suggestion would be to change the word "plead" to something else.
People in control don't plead. I might add at this point that I would have
advised John Milton to omit the line about "viewing the dismal situation" from
his magnum opus. Had he followed my advice, he would be famous today.
Ratings for "In Control"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Would You" by LadyBear (ladybear77@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=357178715
If I review one poem, I might as well review another. I don't mean to belittle
the efforts of this poet - and this poem might subjectively be meaningful and
significant to a particular person. However, the main problem with it is that
while it is intended to express intense emotions, it comes across extremely
flat. There's nothing ear-catching about the language - it has no special
rhyme or rhythm or catchy sound. The imagery is not especially vivid.
If this author wants to write effective poetry, she should take her idea
(which is a very good one) and incorporate the major elements of effective
poetry - verbal imagery and interesting combinations of words to convey ideas
and emotions.
I hope both this author and others who read this take this as constructive
advice. Reactions to poetry are highly subjective; but there is a clear
difference between this poem and the one reviewed immediately before it. Try
to learn from the comparison. Or just enjoy the poetry.
Ratings for "Would You"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Spy Games" by JJ (jclark100@ibm.net).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358682051
There were several things that drew me to this story. Mainly, I had never
before reviewed a story that was listed as (MMMMMMMMMMMm/F n/c).
Amy has recently graduated from the secret American-Israli (sic) intelligence
academy. It was tough, but she is good at this stuff -bright and athletic with
a gorgeous body - 6 feet tall, 23 years old, and long slender legs, beautiful
hazel eyes, short brown hair, and small but pert breats. I'm pretty sure that
a breat is one of those rakish hats that spies and interns wear when they
sleep with important world leaders. Amy has yet to meet a man she couldn't
bend to her will with her charm or her strength. Hence this story.
Amy's first assignment, should she decide to accept it after the tape recorder
burst into flames, is to get some "intel" on several state run enterprises in
hostile Arab states, so that "they" could run economic espionage "ops."
Amy arrives at the bar that night at 19:00, dressed in stunning business
attire, including government-issue black nylons and 3-inch heals, possibly
containing a secret telephone She quickly induces Omar the Villain to take
her up to his room to discuss whatever might pop up. As per the American
Israli (sic) Spy Instruction Manual, Amy tells Omar she has little money, but
is there something else she can give him <wink>? Overcome by her pert breat,
Omar says, "Suck my cock while I think about it." Amy finds this idea
"repusive," by which I think she means "recursive."
This author adds authenticity through his expert grasp of Hebrew and Arabic
customs. For example, he gives time in Arabic numbers. In addition, since
the written Hebrew language often omits vowels, he often omits letters from
his words. In addition, none of the sex in this story takes place after
anyone walks more than a hundred cubits on the Sabbath. Nor does anyone
living in glass houses throw stones.
About halfway through the story I began to wonder about that MMMMMMMMMMMm in
the title line. I began to think that perhaps it was a sound signifying
approbation (with the vowels omitted, of course), rather than a designator for
a gangbang. However, after several months of fucking her from behind, Omar
notices a mole (on her ass, I guess), and this blows her cover. Then Omar,
whose last name is variously Hasan and Haman begins to abuse Amy. For
example, he fucks her ass with a carrot from a try of food - a rugby concept,
I believe. For a little dude Herman (that's what my spellcheck prefers) is
really full of cum (at which my spellcheck didn't even flinch!). Amy's hair
gets severely disheveled when Herman's sun fucks her underwater in the bath
tub.
The best line in the story comes when Herman offers Amy to the other Sheiks
after dinner by saying, "The desert is on me!" I guess maybe his nickname is
Sandy. {I know it's bad form for me to explain my subtle humor, but the food
one eats after a meal is spelled "dessert." Herman was saying that a vast
arid surface was covering him.} Anyway, Amy is soon covered with a vast
quantity of "sweat" and cum. Eventually she gets pregnant, is fucked in the
ass while delivering the baby; and both she and her daughter remain in
permanent servitude (MMMMMMMMMMMm/F n/c).
I hope I haven't given away two mulch of the blot.
Ratings for "Spy Games"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 3
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3 (high rating for humorous value)
"Dance" by LeAnna (leanna1@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360885404
This is an extremely well written sex story, but it's not your usual of sex
story. It's about a man and a woman who have AIDS and who are dying together
in a hospice. It's a real tear jerker - honestly written and very emotional.
If you're looking for a stroke story or for something to get you in the mood
for some hot sex, you should definitely stay away from this one. However,
there is more to life than fun and pleasure, and this story has the potential
to make you feel good in a different way.
Ratings for "Dance"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Destinies" by Kim (ghost@nym.alias.net).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=360866726
Kim's husband takes her to a hypnotherapist for treatment of her nail-biting
habit. But something unexpected happens.
"Christ!" says her hubby when they get home. "You've just given me the scare
of my life." Kim hasn't the faintest idea what he is talking about,. Neither
did I, but she had my attention. Fortunately, the whole matter is on tape,
and we can read the transcript while Kim listens to it.
It seems that when Kim was under hypnosis, she "channeled" for people whose
bodies she inhabited in previous lives. I didn't find the story to be
exceptionally sexy, but I did find it to be quite interesting.
Ratings for "Destinies"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Frozen Decadence" by Lady Id (id@slashpalace.org). Reviewed by Fiddler.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358892327
[Notes: This story (which I have not seen on the newsgroups) apparently was
posted under the subject line: "NEW STORY/NEW AUTHOR." My copy, after going
through Celeste's software, my mailbox's software, and my wordprocessor's
software, has underlines where apostrophes and other marks should be. Your
mileage may differ, but apostrophes are unlikely.]
Times are tough in the former Soviet Union, especially tough for vampires.
But the female narrator of this story manages to get out, meet a charming
computer genius, and suck her blood. She does this surprisingly publicly.
Vampirism is inherently erotic. The bite is a kiss carried to extremes, the
vampire is the essence of the roue, all love affairs flirt with costing one's
soul. Vampire tales on this newsgroup, however, go beyond the implicit
parallels. In doing so, each one rewrites the convention in its own way.
In this particular tale, blood is not a necessity of the vampire's life but a
cocktail. She takes mere sips, mixed with the taste of her victim's arousal
and orgasm.
This is an erotic tale, more emotive than explicit, and well-written. There
are a few points which suggest that English is not the author's native
language, but I never find that as annoying as the "English is my only
language, but it is still a foreign language," posts. "Site" is used for
"sight."
Ratings for "Frozen Decadence"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 10
"Jacuzzi Sex" by D-Man (dman@onramp.net). Guest review by jubjub.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=358010870
Story Summary: Sex in an outdoor Jacuzzi.
This is an ordinary story with fairly ordinary sex and ordinary characters.
In fact, this story has really nothing to make stand out from any other story.
One guy joins another guy in an apartment complex pool late at night to drink.
One guy gets noisy and is shushed by the middle-aged, female complex manager.
The noisy guy leaves and the manager shows up later in a bathing suit. They
have sex and the next day the guy finds an invitation to show up at the
office. Once there, he gets jumped by the secretary and the manager.
Technically, the story was so-so. There were persistent comma errors caused
by run-on sentences. The writer would have been better served by varying
sentence length more. As it stands now, there is a certain monotony to the
story.
The characters were little more than stock but were well-drawn as such. The
dialog sounded authentic but didn't seem to say much. There was no sex until
later in the story. The first part drew good characterization--but the wrong
ones. The main focus, at first, seemed to be on the noisy guy. Since he
leaves midway through, it seems pointless. This points to some plot problems.
It takes awhile for the story to get underway and there seems little punch to
its dramatic points. The last scene ruined a perfectly good ending without
adding anything.
Again, I repeat. An ordinary story with a pedestrian style. Nothing that I
could feel excited about.
Ratings for "Jacuzzi Sex"
Technical: 8.5 Small mistakes. Sentences are too long.
Characterization and Plot: 7.5 By the book. Inappropriate
characterization
Appeal: 7 OK, but not anything to catch my attention
"The Wild Side" by Grey Wolf (greywolf46@juno.com). Review by Nick (e-mail
Nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=354649327
A bored rich young wife, whose husband doesn't love her any more goes off to
her country club for a break. While driving through a remote area, she crashes
the car and is picked up by a gang of evil rapists. She is rescued by a
mysterious hero who turns out to be a great artist, and good sex is had by
all.
Firstly, no need for "vanillas" to worry. No rape actually happens, so if
you're after consensual romance you shouldn't be too put off by this one.
I think this story started well. We get a good sense of the woman's
frustration and even her feelings of inadequacy at her husbands indifference.
Thereafter, I'm afraid, I found the plot a little pedestrian. It's called "The
Wild Side", and presumably this is supposed to reflect a "Wild" adventure had
by this woman.
The hero "Cutter" you have seen in just about any Hollywood film you might
have seen - Clint Eastwood perhaps. A moody, mysterious character who is, of
course, very sensitive to women (his main failing here being that he makes too
big a meal for her - not really "wild" enough for me!).
The heroine shows her spirit by agreeing to have sex with him (in her husbands
office) during an art exhibition. Again not particularly wild.
This story did little for me, in the end, but that's just me. It is well
enough written and it is not too gratuitous in its sexual content. Many people
aren't interested in "deep" stories and if you're one of those who enjoys good
middle of the road stuff this is probably for you.
My own markings would be 8 for Technique, 7 for plot and character and 5 for
appeal to me. Normalising for Celeste it gets:
Ratings for "The Wild Side"
Athena - Technique 9
Venus - Plot & Character 9
Nick - readers appeal 9
"Assmaster McStuff and the Clandestine Meeting" by Assmaster McStuff
(assmastermcstuff@hotmail.com). Guest review by LeAnna. This review only
means my opinion, nothing else.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348544565
This is a short, simple story about two people who meet at a department store,
and arrange to get together. He arrives at her house and places various
objects inside her, one by one, and asks her to identify them.
The voice of the narration makes it a little hard to sift through, and the
punctuation is inconsistent -- there are dozens of missing commas. There was
also a few capitalization errors. This is where the technical score is low --
I feel that capitalization skills are a necessity, as well as basic
punctuation. I know I don't always place my commas in the right place, but
sometimes this author just doesn't place them at all. Maybe the author did
that on purpose -- rules were meant to be broken, y'know; but it just didn't
work for me.
This is awkwardly told -- apparently, the narrator is also a psychic. There
are many omniscient sentences in this story. "God, his tongue is long she
thinks as she leans back into my face." This might be acceptable if this was
reminiscence -- afterwards, she could have perhaps told him what she was
thinking, and he could be reflecting on that. But the narration is told,
blow-by-blow, in a right-in-the-moment style. This story reminds me of train
tracks alongside each other, and the narration is a passenger that abruptly,
without reason, jumps to the train on the sidelining track -- one thought
rarely follows the other. Sometimes, when it appears that the story is non
sequitur, it actually isn't, which makes it confusing at bits. This makes the
story seem unreal. Sometimes this story isn't distracted, though, and when it
isn't, the voice is poetic and the narration is smooth. However, when I'd
start to lean back and enjoy the ride, I hit another bump. There are strong
points, though, in that same poetic prose that I marveled.
This review isn't to say that this is a bad story, though. It has oodles of
potential, and some of the prose is certainly nice, especially in some sexual
descriptions.
Ratings for "The Clandestine Meeting"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 7
LeAnna (appeal to reviewer): 7.5
"Dear Diary" by Parker. Review written by A.M. McStuff, who may be reached at
assmastermcstuff@hotmail.com.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359201414
>From time to time the reader of ASSM will come across a story so strong it
reminds him of the effervescent bliss of well-crafted erotica. This is not
such a story.
Let's first dispense with the plot: two American hikers (Karen and Jennifer)
become lost in the Scottish countryside, where they stumble across a sadistic
matron who drugs, tortures, and sexually humiliates them -- in perpetuity.
Jennifer adapts more readily to sexual servitude than Karen.
The story begins promisingly enough. Parker humorously captures the stuffy
locution of the upper-class mistress (or so I would imagine -- my closest
brush with Scotland was my Sheena Easton record collection in 8th grade). Here
is Parker's artful way of saying the victims are forced to wear dog collars:
"Darcy [the butler] has put the various artifacts of Nigel's ill-fated (and, I
should add, much warned against) venture into the field of dog breeding to
good use."
But sometimes these verbal tricks only annoy the reader. The following
sentence is too precious by half:
"It [a dildo forced into Karen] immediately began buzzing from within the
girl's... (I really don't know the right word to use here) 'thingy.'"
Please.
The story follows, for its first half, the conventions of bondage literature.
The girls are slowly broken, and there comes a moment when -- surprise! --
they find release and pleasure in servitude. There's nothing wrong with genre
writing in capable hands, and Parker without question is literate. But "Dear
Diary" takes a repellent turn in its second half. Karen, the obstreperous one,
resists impalement on a large dildo. When her will gives out she noisily and
messily voids her bowels in front of her mistress. As punishment she is anally
raped with the handle of a feather duster.
This reader's bias: I find scatological scenes wholly un-erotic. A gentleman's
agreement has been violated by the writer when she includes certain scenes in
a story without having made note of them in the subject header.
My sense is that this sort of story is review-proof. Readers who like this
sort of thing will like this sort of thing. My verdict, though: well-wrought
trash.
Ratings for "Dear Diary"
Technical: 9
Plot/Character: 8
Appeal to Reviewer: 3
"Fun in Class" "Fun in Class" by Takeme (takame@iamit.com). Guest review by
Dave Myers.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=357059041
Ever masturbate in any of your high school classes? I know that friends of
mine did manage to pull this off, so it is very much possible. This story is
all fluff and talk and fun, but it explores the idea briefly. Some of the
reactions of the participants could have been more colorful, but the story
delivers what it should. The only glitch is that the attraction of our jill-
off narrator to the boys around her is not very believable at all.
Rating: 7
"Drug Induced Lust" by sventek (sventek@jps.net) Guest reviewed by Poison
Ivan.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359406504
I read this story and was immediately reminded of "The Bedpost" by Michael K.
Smith, which is odd, because I haven't read "The Bedpost." Which just goes to
show, some stories are so powerful that you're reminded of them even when
you're not quite sure what they are about.
This story begins with news of Melinda's apparent suicide at the hands of a
bedpost. From there, things begin to get a little creepy. Natalie, Melinda
's former friend, is bent on figuring out what Melinda was up to prior to her
untimely demise. And what better way to learn what was in Melinda's head than
retracing Melinda's footsteps?
The sex is mostly masturbation. From the physical descriptions, I suppose you
could say the masturbation is standard ASS stuff. But this is not an ordinary
masturbation scene. It made my skin crawl. Sventek has written the beginning
of a fine horror story.
I do want to point out one of the best spell-checker gaffs I've seen in a long
time. "You could tell that they had closed all the drapes in the house...
which gave it an Erie feeling all on its own." Erie? As in the Great Lake?
Or does he mean the city in Pennsylvania?
Since the story isn't finished, it's hard to give it a final grade, but I like
the way it's heading. If Sventek were to finish the story, the Venus and
Poison ratings would be higher.
Ratings for "Drug Induced Lust"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 7
Poison (appeal to reviewer): 8
* "Up on the Roof" by Solo Polyphony (solo.polyphony@teamhbbs.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=270899208
The man and his wife go up to the roof of the New York building. The
restaurant located there has just closed, and so they sneak off to a secluded
spot and engage in romantic, semi-public but still private sex. Ooops!
Somebody saw them; and so they invite him to join in. The sex gets pretty
hot. I enjoyed this story.
Ratings for " Up on the Roof "
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "My Own Private Idaho" by Wadsworth (wadsworth5@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=275949510
I'm probably missing something really obvious here - specifically, why this
story has this title. I just don't get it; so if someone can tell me without
making me feel really ignorant, I would appreciate it.
The narrator has longed for a threesome with her boyfriend, whom she loves
deeply. For her 25th birthday, he blindfolds her and takes her for a surprise
to the quarters of a stud named Alex. {This sort of thing explains why you
sometimes see blindfolded passengers in ordinary sedans, especially in suburbs
of big cities on weekends.} The two guys go at each other first and then she
reaps the benefits herself. I have always thought of threesomes as one cock
in the mouth or ass and the other in the pussy. In this case, the boyfriend
does the woman in the cunt while Alex does the boyfriend in the ass. I had
never thought of that, but it sounds interesting. This is one of those things
that I personally think is better left to the imagination - but it's an
interesting fantasy.
Ratings for "My Own Private Idaho"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Fun With June" by Bigtunaman (bigtunaman@hotmail.com). Guest review by
BluePencil.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359556431
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=359556433
Authors strive for a good opening. Properly written, an opening line sets the
tone for the entire story. "Four score and Seven -", "It was the best of times
-", "It was a dark and stormy night" - each phrase leads, seemingly
inevitably, into the writing that follows. So when you encounter a story
that starts out "Did you ever meet a woman who has 'blowjob' written all over
her face?" you don't expect a gentle romance.
I must congratulate Bigtunaman; his opening line accurately reflects the mood
and tone of the story as a whole. No fumbling teenagers, no romantic
hesitations - just a pair of raunchy adults who enjoy a purely physical
relationship.
June and the narrator meet, have sex, and commence an on-and-off physical
relationship, seasoned with camaraderie and friendship but not a hint of
romance. Of it's kind, it's a good story. The writing is competent and
matches the story; the characterization, though minimal, is effective. It
reminds me of _My Friends the Allens_ without the romance and plot, or one of
Mike Hunt's stories without the humor. This story would be at home in the
Letters column of a men's magazine; indeed, except for its greater length, it
would be perfect match.
What can I say? I liked it more than I expected to. There are many writers
on the net who attempt deeper characterization, plotting, and prose. Very few
do a better job of hitting the target they aimed for. And though I might not
look very hard, I'll likely read anything else of Bigtunaman's I come across.
Ratings for "Fun With June"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot and character): 7
BluePencil (appeal to reviewer): 8
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