Celestial Reviews 283 - May 26, 1998
Note: Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel.
Suddenly, they saw a rabbi walk up to the front door, glance around and
duck inside. "Ah, will you look at that?" One ditch digger said. "What's
our world comin' to when men of th' cloth are visitin' such places?"
A short time later, a Protestant minister walked up to the door and
quietly slipped inside. "Do you believe that?" The workman exclaimed.
"Why, 'tis no wonder th' young people today are so confused, what with
the example clergymen set for them."
After an hour went by, the men watched as a Catholic priest quickly
entered the whore house. "Ah, what a pity," the digger said, leaning on
his shovel. "One of th' poor lasses must be ill."
Second note: Twin brothers were named Joe and John. Joe was the owner of
an old dilapidated boat. It happened that John's wife died the same day
that Joe's boat sank. A few days later a kindly old lady met Joe on the
street. Mistaking him for John, she said to him, "I'm sorry for your
loss, you must feel terrible".
Joe said, "Oh, hell no. Fact is, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She
was a rotten old thing from the beginning; her bottom was all shriveled
up, and she smelled like dead fish. She was always losing water, had a
bad crack in the back, and a big ugly hole in the front, which got
bigger every time I used her. She leaked like crazy, and it was
difficult to keep her upright. But what really finished her off was when
four tough guys rented her for a good time. I warned them that she
wasn't any good, but they all wanted to have a go with her anyhow. The
damn fools all tried to get on her at the same time and it was just too
much for the old girl. While they were trying to get into their various
positions she split up the middle".
The old woman fainted.
Third note: Sandman has taken a wife and has swept her away for a month
on one of those three-hour cruises. Before he left, he prepared this
issue's links. He also wrote a review of my own story, "Virtuous
Reality"; and he left me under a solemn oath to post his review.
Congratulations and best wishes to the Sandman and the Sandmistress!
Fourth note: My husband made me a sudden offer that I couldn't refuse.
As a result, I have been gone for a while. I have no new reviews for
this issue; but thanks to guest reviewers and Sandman's Links, I can put
together a pretty good issue right away and have another issue ready by
the weekend. Thanks to the reviewers!
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Virtuous Reality" by Celeste (Blowjob Principle demonstrated)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=217691607
"Me and An Older Lady" by Unknown Author (boring sex)
8, 6, 1
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351998911
"Sordid Conception," by Chili Peeler (swapping and watching)
9, 10, 10
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291389 01 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291397 02 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291403 03 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291410 04 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291417 05 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291424 06 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291429 07 (1)
"E-Maled" by David Shaw (blackmail) 3, 1, 0
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343810946
"Swing Man" by Chili Peeler (swinging and incest) 7.5
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291434 01
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291441 02
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291449 03
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291457 04
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291465 05
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291473 06
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291481 07
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291489 08
"The Summer of Love" by Spoonbender (paying for abortion)
10, 5, 3
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352383387
"Glenda" by The Bear (shifting values) 9, 8, 7
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291504 (1)
"The Fish" by S. B. Douglass (sci fi) 8.5
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=189330352
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=189330234
Reposted Reviews:
"Kissing Cousins" by Candy Kane (ff adolescent sex) 10, 10, 10
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352302947
"Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (ff computer show sex) 9.27A
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352302920
"Modern Exchange" by Fin Haddie (sex with exchange
studs) 9, 7, 7
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351785932 (1)
"Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil (ff romance)
10, 10, 10
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478786 01 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179474645 02 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478794 03 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478804 04 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478837 05 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478826 06 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478847 07 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179474635 08 (1)
"Cusps" by Jordan Shelbourne (romance) 10, 9, 9
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=261372129 (1)
(1)Repost not by original author.
========================
On this day in Celestial History..
Celestial Reviews CR #84 - May 15, 1996
-------------------
* "A Day on the Bay" by Joe Parsons (sex on a boat & mild
bondage) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=212788083
* "Catty Corner" by SueNH (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=206953221
* "Across the Catty Corner (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179828211
* "Library of Congress" by Mark Aster (sex in the library)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=201248293
Guest Reviews:
"Virtuous Reality" by Celeste (Celeste801@aol.com). Guest review by
Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=217691607
Celestology -- the study of Celeste. We all know that Celeste is an
English teacher and thus qualified to grade stories. Did you know that
Celeste is also a published author with a moderately successful romance
novel under her belt? If you did, you probably have read her FAQ. What
may be least known of all though is that Celeste has also published
stories to these groups. To my knowledge not one has been reviewed in
the CR and that seems a bit sad really. So I decided to correct this
injustice.
Celeste did not send me this story. This is an unbiased, impartial,
unsolicited review. Hey Celeste! Remember that (9.5, 8, 5) you gave me
a while back? {{EVIL GRIN}}
In the earliest days of the Celestial Reviews, almost three years ago
now, which is really ancient by Internet standards, there was a top-
notch author called SueNH who published to these groups. Some of Sue's
stories survive thanks to reposters, and some are lost forever even on
dejanews. While today we have Janey, Bronwen, Kim, Leanna, and other
very notable female authors it was people like SueNH who helped pave the
way for women authors in what once was a group devoted solely to the
adolescent desires of pimply-faced, sexually repressed (male) computer
geeks.
"Virtuous Reality" was written at the height of the Internet porn scare
when AOL chat rooms suddenly became pedo hangouts topping the nightly
news, when Senator Exxon had decided smut should be illegal, and every
web page was black and had a blue ribbon. In the McCarthy-like
atmosphere poor Sue starts feeling bad when she gets feedback from angry
parents and when her co-workers start telling her how obnoxiously horny
their husbands have suddenly become (as a result of Sue's stories of
course!).
With shades of "It's a wonderful Life" as Hugh Heffner would have done
it, and Abbot and Costello (Who's on First?), the Goddess, er Angel,
er, almost angel Celeste appears to provide research material for future
stories and provide a little reassurance and encouragement to our
dilemmaed damsel in distress! With tongue deftly in cheek, Celeste does
the one thing every author that's ever set pen to paper salivates over:
Celeste shows Sue how much her stories are really appreciated.
At the time this was written it would have been described as hot, drop-
dead hilarious, insightful, and a fun romp with familiar personalities
of the day (much as today's authors romp in Malinov's orgy rooms).
Today it is still all of this, but also serves as a poignant and timely
reminder that as much as things have changed or as much as we THINK they
have changed, life on ASS is pretty much the same though some of the
cast and crew are different.
After getting a story like this, I can not for the life of me imagine
why SueNH ever left the newsgroup. Celeste, founder of the blowjob
principal which almost everyone but authors ignore, demonstrates
clearly, concisely, and with great exuberance the ultimate blow job ever
given to an author of these groups. And the best thing of all is: we
get to watch. {Celestial note: The "Blowjob Principal" is a man with a
Ph.D. who runs a school in our system, whose ministrations I have never
directly experienced. Sandman meant to say "blowjob principle."}
There are only two faults with this story {SMILE}. For one we get the
lack of blank lines between paragraphs that so annoy me until I get used
to it (usually near the end.) Celeste uses blank lines to illustrate
transitions between scenes rather than moments. Second, Celeste is too
intelligent for her own good and we get a lot of words which are
pleasing to authors but will send your average King, Grisham or pedo fan
running for the dictionary -- something which paints a rather disturbing
image of a flabby, middle aged man running down the hall with his
erection bobbing in the wind as he rushes to look up a new word. But
these are merely warnings to the reader; they are definitely not point
reductions.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll kiss yer cum goodbye, and will be
deftly shown Celeste's *REAL* credentials. Authors will enjoy this
story more than the regular readers I think, because other than the fact
that we don't have to worry about the obscenity police busting down our
door, things really haven't changed. But I think it says a lot when I
say that I think readers will find this story as erotically charged as
any story published this, or any other, year.
Ordinarily this review would go to Celeste with a recommendation that it
be considered for this month's Top 20. Celeste won't put it on that
list for obvious conflict of interest reasons. So you're just going to
have to take my word for it that the story is good enough to be on the
May 20, the 1998 100, and the 1990's 1,000.
Ratings for "Virtuous Reality"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 10+
"A TRUE STORY, Me and An Older Lady" by an unknown author. Guest review
by Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351998911
Oh great. Another one of those arcticera.com stories. Well let's see
if it's boring, lame, or obnoxious. If I'm lucky it might just be
mediocre.
Looks like lame bordering on mediocre -- well at least it was short.
OK, 19-year-old guy comes home from college and gets a summer job at a
factory where all the women are OLD like his mom but amazingly enough
sexually harass him like he was a stripper on a construction site. But
37-year-old Ellie defends his honor and takes his virtue as a birthday
present (his).
The sex was decently described and the words were all in the right
places, but it just didn't move me. I never fell into the story. I
never really cared for the characters. I didn't really believe them.
But it was readable, and it was short, though I can't imagine anyone
paying arcticera.com money to read things like this.
Now, I have a fondness for older women; but even I couldn't ferret out
an appeal for this one.
Ratings for "Me and an older lady"
Athena (technical quality): 8 -- No mistakes, Celestially average.
Venus (plot & character): 6
Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 1
"Sordid Conception," by Chili Peeler (chilepeelr@aol.com). Guest Review
by R'khaan (rkhaan@ix.netcom.com)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291389 01 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291397 02 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291403 03 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291410 04 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291417 05 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291424 06 (1)
http://x4.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291429 07 (1)
When Celeste asked me to review this story, she added a note telling me
it had been hanging around for a while waiting to be reviewed. And I'll
be damned if I know why. This story is so delightfully filthy I'm not
sure where to begin.
Okay, so we have Sharon Larrington having a conversation with her
daughter-in-law, Brenda. Seems like Brenda and Chris have been trying
to put a bun in the oven but, as it turns out, Chris' soldiers ain't
marching to the beat. After a debate on getting the job done
artificially – something Brenda isn't fond of considering – Sharon has
the audacity to suggest that Brad, the hunky 19-year-old-brother of
Chris, knock the boots and get the job done in his brother's place.
Now, if this was simply a story about surrogate parenting and the thrill
of a younger brother getting a piece of his sexy sister-in-law, it would
be worth the time it takes to download and read it. But, as you might
imagine, things aren't always what they appear to be. After a pretty
convincing argument, Brenda agrees to the plan. Later in the evening,
Sharon gets ready for bed, only to find Brad in her bed, naked, hard,
and ready. After Brad and Sharon kick some major holes in the walls,
Sharon tells Brad of the plan to impregnate Brenda and, of course, the
horny teen is more than willing to do the job.
To make this a little shorter, Brad and Brenda do the horizontal bop
while Sharon watches. What started out as "business" on Brenda's part
turns out to be just the thing she's been dreaming of, finding herself
responding to Brad as he works his magic. Afterwards, Brenda's on her
way home, Brad is still hot to trot and Sharon? Well, you can fry eggs
on the girl. Brad convinces this mother to shlob his knob right in the
living room.
Brenda runs out of gas and returns to her mother-in-law's house and, you
guessed it, walks in on the action between Brad and his mother. After
some soul-bearing, Brenda readily agrees to Brad's suggested that they
all go upstairs and get wild. Which they do like no one's business.
The payoff is Brenda gets knocked up and gives birth to a baby girl. At
the celebration, Chris offers a toast to his wife and brother for the
baby, much to Sharon and Brad's surprise. Brenda confesses to them that
she told Chris everything – and I mean everything. To further celebrate
things, Chris heads up the stairs to get a piece of his mother and, yes,
Brad and Brenda get ready to do their thing again.
This story would have gotten all tens had it not been for the overuse of
ellipses and little things like two spaces after a period, etc. Other
than that, this was da bomb!
Ratings for "Sordid Conception"
R'khaan (technical quality): 9
R'khaan (plot & character): 10
R'khaan (appeal to reviewer): 10
"E-Maled" by David Shaw (shaw david@hotmail.com). Guest Review by
R'khaan (rkhaan@ix.netcom.com)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343810946
"The Sniffer," as he's known to his co-conspirators, is one sick puppy.
He gets his kicks hacking into his corporate network and stealing
company email messages (illegal as hell) where, along with selected
cohorts, stalks and subsequently blackmails (two more federal offenses)
his unsuspecting female coworkers into sexual activities.
This story has little or no erotic value to it unless, of course, you
are cut in the mold of "The Sniffer" and this kind of drivel appeals to
you. If anything, this writing will have people thinking twice about
putting their business out via their corporate email network. The author
of this work might not get people masturbating over his work, but he has
done everyone a public service: Be careful of what you email at work!
Ratings for "E-Maled"
R'khaan (technical quality): 3
R'khaan (plot & character): 1
R'khaan (appeal to reviewer): 0
Review of "Swing Man" by Chili Peeler (chilepeelr@aol.com). Guest review
by Dave Myers.
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291434 01
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291441 02
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291449 03
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291457 04
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291465 05
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291473 06
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291481 07
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291489 08
You've heard of the (mostly silly) analogies drawn between baseball and
sex. Well, there's one aspect where I have to admit the writing of sex
stories does compare with the sport. Imagine a long fly ball to center
field, hanging over the fence and falling fast. Will it make it out of
the park? Or will it be caught for an out a moment later? Moral of the
story: even if you had good ideas when you started writing, if you don't
end with a bang, a twist, a punch, or at least a flourish, your reader
(that's me!) will be prone to ignore your nice plotting and buildup to
the last few sections. The long fly ball will not be remembered, except
for the out.
Synopsis: This long-ish tale centers around a family man whose married
life is over, for all intents and purposes. In order to fight the
boredom, he starts swinging, with his brother's help. Later he is
seduced by his 20-year-old daughter.
These two distinct plot lines merge in a hot way, but not completely
gracefully. One key voyeuristic linkup scene (with daughter looking on)
could have been given more feeling. Still, it was pretty hot. Other than
this, and a completely superfluous and distracting drug subplot, the
first half or more of the story is quite readable. But at a certain
point the writing of the sex sequences becomes too rote. What starts off
so well becomes more and more like much of the incest-themed text
currently out on the newsgroups: expectable.
Rating: 7.5
"The Summer of Love" by Spoonbender (Theodore@spoonbender.demon.co.uk).
Guest review by Bronwen (bronwen@anon.nymserver.com).
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352383387
It's 1967. A young girl is desperate for an abortion. A stoned one-off -
and the boy doesn't want to know. Every teenaged girl's nightmare. Her
best friend's older sister knows an abortionist, but the fee is out of
our heroine's reach. No need to panic. Her best friend's older sister
knows an easy way of earning the money. Yep, you guessed. Pay for the
abortion by doing what she did to get pregnant in the first place.
But the client turns out to be a john with a heart of gold, and all ends
happily. Way too happily. I had insuperable problems with the heroine's
reactions. Too many to list. But here's one: the story ends with the
girl, now a woman, looking back over 20 years to this marvelous
experience. This woman, a virgin until the fateful night, is happily
reminiscing about the great sex she had to pay for her abortion.....
I'm not saying abortion is automatically disastrous. Indeed, most women
who have abortions are relieved, but few look back to the events
surrounding it with any pleasure. Twenty years on, she would surely put
her thoughts into context - these are her child-bearing years. Does she
have live children now, or perhaps not? It seemed very strange to omit
this inevitable train of thought.
Also, as 1967 was the year of the Abortion Act, when it became legal in
the UK (and the story's set in the UK) it seems odd to have no reference
to the massive debate and changes going on at the time.
Celeste always ends her request for a review with the words " if you do
not want to review this story, just say so". I nearly did that with this
story, because I don't want to discourage Spoonbender from experimenting
with consensual stories. As most of my favorite stories are consensual
and he's a good writer I welcome this diversification. I really enjoyed
his recent "Room 416". As usual with his stuff, "Summer of Love" is
well-written and presented.
I expect the sex is hot, but I was so put off by the plot that none of
it worked for me. Correction. The man made sense. I've met men like
that. But the woman - well, I couldn't recognize her at all. Sorry,
Spoonbender. Maybe I'm weird. I hope plenty of other women read this
story and give alternative feedback.
Ratings for "The Summer of Love"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 5 (plot made sense, character didn't)
Bronwen (appeal to reviewer): 3 (turned-off, though not squicked)
"Glenda" by The Bear (al-bear@ix.netcom.com). Guest review by BillyG
(hayden@mindless.com)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352291504 (1)
The re-poster of this story attributes it to The Bear. I understand
there are two authors with that name. This Bear characterizes "Glenda"
as follows: "This one is unusual for the BEAR in that both participants
are adults, so there is not any youthful sex in this one."
"Glenda" is a 1995 story that is studded with reality, or perhaps more
correctly, the quandaries of real life. In a fantasy world of
absolutes, there might be a "right way" to live life, a set of rules
that, if followed, would assure one of being proper. But that's not how
life works. "Glenda" underscores the fact that we live in a grey world
of shifting values.
What are some of these standards? How about the age differential
between men and women? Or more specifically, between an older man and a
younger woman?
Picture this: The protagonist, John, a caring and decent guy, once dated
Glenda's mom. For the sake of discussion, let's assume Glenda's mom
gave birth to her when she was twenty. If, as he recalls, she was a
"pretty little girl" before she became an even more attractive teenager,
we estimate his and her mom's age at about 30 when Glenda was say ten.
Twenty years difference on that end is huge. But John meets Glenda
again when she's in her "late twenties' - let's put it at 30 for
purposes of round numbers. So, John's now about twenty years older, or
about fifty.
How's that feel? A lot less inappropriate certainly than when she was a
lot younger, huh? Perhaps. Depends on your views, I guess.
The story alludes to another mismatch - size. Glenda's 4' 9" while John
is considerably larger. We're not sure about the magnitude of the
physical discrepancy, but he's able to hold her on his lap with ease.
To be truthful, neither of these issues loom as substantive in this
romance, especially the size differential. In fact it would appear to
work for their benefit for, "She isn't quite sure why, but she has found
that she prefers men who are both quite a bit older than she is, and
that are very large and strong, although the body-builder types don't
tickle her fancy at all." I suppose it's not for nothing that the
author calls himself The Bear.
So, this story unfolds as a very sweet tale of a younger woman and an
older man who have secretly been attracted to each other for years and
now, by serendipity, have the opportunity to explore the heretofore off-
limits areas. Glenda becomes John's houseguest and through necessity,
they must sleep in separate beds in the same room. Given this
background, the remainder of the story evolves as you would predict.
It's a tension-free story of early unrequited love that enjoys a sweet
redemption when they re-discover each other as adults. There's no high
drama or convoluted seduction in this story. It's a straight ahead,
simple love story. Very sweet but not too high on the peter meter.
Ratings for "Glenda"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 7 (Sweet, but not hot)
Review of "The Fish" by S. B. Douglass (). Guest review by Dave Myers.
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=189330352
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=189330234
For regular readers of erotica who don't usually find sci-fi stories
appealing, this is a very good starting point for sampling the genre. I
won't spoil the twist of the story (for those who haven't guessed it
from the title), but it's quite creative. Typical of sci-fi stories, the
sex is downplayed by the wild idea spun out in the text.
A few spelling errors blemish an otherwise very nicely written piece.
The scientific terms seem to have given the most trouble: "simbiotic"
for "symbiotic", sometimes "urchin" and sometimes "urchen". I could also
quibble over whether or not there are any true atolls in the Florida
Keys, but these mistakes don't degrade the overall story. Try it, you'll
like it.
Rating: 8.5
* "Kissing Cousins" by Candy Kane (rytr33@hotmail.com). Guest review by
David Rills.
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352302947
Pamela, 18, is baby-sitting her 13-year-old neighbor, Michelle. The two
girls are sitting in front of the TV when they channel surf across the
adult channel. After scenes of a boy and girl making love, two lesbians
appear on screen. The scene sends Pamela's thoughts back to the sexual
encounter which she had with her "kissing cousin," Becky.
Awakening from her reminiscence, Pamela finds Michelle on top of her
begging for sex.
The story is extremely well done and the dialog is convincing. The plot
is very believable and the descriptions of the lesbian acts between
innocent young girls is arousing. This story is well worth the reader's
time.
Ratings for "Kissing Cousins"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
David (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Woman2Woman" by Candy Kane (GQKZ45C@prodigy.com).
Guest Review.
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=352302920
"Woman2Woman" is a fun read, zippy and straightforward, with few
distractions to pull you away from the story of the seduction of one
woman by another. Christine and Laura are sales reps at a computer
show, and meet each other while standing on the floor for 10 hours
fending off propositions from men. At one point in the shared cab ride
back to the hotel, Christine, the narrator, asks ""Is getting laid the
only reason these guys come here?" This is one of the few distractions,
because the answer, obviously, is "yes." I've been to computer shows.
The girls retreat to their hotel rooms, wherein Laura offers to give
Christine a massage to relieve her stress. You'll be shocked to find out
that they both end up nude, make gentle love with one another, and spend
the next several days sneaking kisses in the employee lounge, squatting
at the display to show each other their pussies, and generally having a
lovely time.
The plot is not complicated, and it's been done before, but then haven't
they all? "Woman2Woman" suffers only from a half-dozen obvious editing
errors, such as "positioning her bare legs on each side of my." My what?
And there are words that the spell check thought were OK, but a quick
proofreading would have caught, such as "spend" for "spent." OK, it's
niggling, but if I didn't catch at least a couple of grammatical errors,
I wouldn't be doing my job as a reviewer, right?
I give "Woman2Woman" a "9.27A" rating on the open ended "Verschlumpt"
scale, a logarithmic evaluation schedule I've designed based on plot,
sexuality, spelling, taste, today's Dow Jones results and other logical
factors such as whether it's Tuesday or not.
{end of review}
* "Modern Exchange" by Fin Haddie (sgoodman@primenet.com).
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=351785932 (1)
The woman is married to a guy who no longer cares about sex.
Fortunately, they take in exchange students who are real studs, and so
her unmet needs are gloriously met by these studious but kindly Latin
lovers.
This author asked me in a personal note whether his stories rang true
for women. For me, "The Plumber" (reviewed last issue) did, but this
one didn't. I felt that I could identify with the plumbing lady; but
this woman sounds struck me as the kind of woman horny stud wannabes
wish for, rather than a real person. Within that constraint, it's still
pretty hot stuff.
Ratings for "Modern Exchange"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
* "Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com).
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478786 01 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179474645 02 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478794 03 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478804 04 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478837 05 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478826 06 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179478847 07 (1)
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179474635 08 (1)
This author combines timing and tension to create a very good story. At
the very start we know simply that Betty (Elizabeth) is upset because
her father has thrown Stacy (Anastasia) out of the house and has
threatened to kill her if he ever sees her around his daughter again.
Then we flash back to a scene in a vice-principal's office, where Betty
is describing her problems with a teacher who seems to be making passes
at her. There must be some relation, the reader thinks, between what's
happening in this flashback and the relationship between Betty and
Stacy; but what is it? Is the vice-principal actually Stacy? The vice-
principal has recommended a tutor; will that be Stacy? And then there
is a sinister note; the vice-principal is apparently interested in
exploiting a sexual opening with the teacher who had been harassing
Betty. What are the implications of that tidbit for Betty? I can't
help it; I root for characters when I read some of these stories. I
already sympathize with Betty; and as a hard-working teacher myself, I
wouldn't mind seeing the VP stick it to the teacher/pervert, but I hope
that Betty and Stacy are people with a wholesome relationship rather
than participants in some sort of demeaning ring of sex-slavery.
As I finish writing the preceding paragraph, I am only about 2000 words
into a 47,000-word story. I mention this because I think it is a sign
of a good story to arouse the reader's interest as strongly as this
story grabbed my attention.
I'm reluctant to tell you too much of the story. I enjoyed finding out
what would happen next, and I think you will too. The author uses an
interesting strategy of alternating between the past and the present;
that is, there is one continuous story starting in the present; and
another continuous story - that gives meaning to the current-time story
- starts in the past. In general, this is an ingenious and enthralling
approach; but at times it becomes confusing. For example, when the
girls are arguing in the past and making up in the present, the two
plots may become entwined in the reader's mind. It must have been
difficult for the author to coordinate these two plots; but he carries
it off effectively - with the exception of one point in Chapter 4 where
he seems to use in the past storyline information about Joyce that could
be known only from the present plot.
This is not a wham-bang sex story; it's a romantic story about a
relationship that happens to involve intimate sex between two females.
The early part of the story (probably the first two thirds - and that's
a lot in a story of this size) does not contain any specific sexual
activity at all; but sex is implied, and sexual tension pervades even
this part. That makes it sexy to me. When explicit sex does occur, it
is very hot.
To be honest, I have to admit that this story brought tears to my eyes
more often than it brought moisture to my lower regions; but they were
often tears of joy that I associate with really happy times in the sack.
I suppose that makes this pretty much a "chick story," but you studs out
there oughta read it too. Maybe it'll put some hair on your chest.
This story has some flaws; but it's still excellent. Look at it this
way: on several occasions the author actually spelled "english" (as in
English Teacher!) with a lower-case "e"; but I still gave the story
straight 10's. I can't offer a much stronger recommendation than that!
Ratings for "Elizabeth & Anastasia"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Cusps" by Jordan Shelbourne (an624781@anon.penet.fi).
http://x11.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=261372129 (1)
It has been either six or ten months since the man and his wife have
made love, depending on whether they counted the one time when the baby
was six weeks old. He's in the mood, but she isn't. In the middle of
the night he wakes up and finds her depressed, and to liven things up he
tells her about his affair with the one Other True Love of his life.
This story-within-a-story is the real story. It describes the
development of a physical relationship that evolved into love and then
eventually disintegrated, while the man still remained in love. This
story is rich in details, but the plot into which it has been inserted
is not.
Incidentally, my own experience with breastfeeding was almost the
opposite of Gwen's. For example, my husband seemed to like the fact
that my breasts were occasionally engorged to unusual dimensions, and he
didn't mind that someone else was using them as feeding stations. We
had pretty hot sex pretty regularly. Having the kids puke at later ages
was a much more serious disruption than my breastfeeding when they were
young. At that time I attended meetings of a major organization that
advocates breastfeeding but which shall remain anonymous in this review,
and my impression was that my experience was pretty much normal. On the
other hand, I also have a friend whose husband took off for Las Vegas
with his girlfriend while the wife was in the hospital giving birth to
their firstborn, and he continued making those trips monthly for the
next year or so. Different -people simply respond differently to the
same stimuli.
Oh! The title of this story refers to epiphanies or cusps that we
encounter in life. The word has several related meanings, but in
architecture "cusp" refers to the point of intersection of two
ornamental arcs or curves. The idea is that you have to be ready when
you encounter one, or the doorway becomes closed. I understand that
Robert Frost would was going to call his poem "The Cusp Not Taken," but
he had an epiphany and chose "Road" instead, and that has made all the
difference. Some of the things that I say in these Reviews are not
perfectly true.
Ratings for "Cusps"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "A Day on the Bay" by Joe Parsons (jmp@cyber-
mall.com).http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=212788083
The woman gets knocked overboard and is then rescued by the
skipper of the craft. They are the only two on board. Since she
might experience hypothermia, he undresses her and puts her into a
dry sleeping bag. To share his warmth with her, he gets naked
himself and climbs in with her. Eventually she expresses her
gratitude to the skipper for saving her life, and then the ship's
captain expresses his gratitude to her for expressing her
gratitude. This is a very good story - especially for nautical
people and for Baywatch fans - who will, of course, insert
themselves and their favorite characters into the story line.
Ratings for "A Day on the Bay"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
*"Catty Corner" by Sue.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=206953221
I loved this story. So many writers on a.s.s. can describe hot
sex; but Sue has the knack of putting it into the context of a
really creative story. This one comes with a double whammy - a
voyeur watching a voyeur and then the voyeurs watching each other.
I just resolved earlier today to be a little rougher in my
ratings. I also resolved to give my husband a break from passion
tonight. Oh, well; there go my resolutions.
Ratings for "Catty Corner"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Across the Catty Corner" by Backrub.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179828211
In a previous review I gave a rating of 10 to "Catty Corner" by Sue. I
pointed out that "Catty Corner" came with a double whammy - a voyeur
watching a voyeur and then the voyeurs watching each other. This story
brings us to either a triple or quadruple whammy - or at least a roaring
orgasm. "Across the Catty Corner" tells the same story from the
viewpoint of the voyeur in the first story, and then goes on to describe
what happens afterwards. It's simply delightful! I hope that Sue reads
this review and reposts "Catty Corner" as soon as possible. I think the
second story will stand alone; but I know I enjoyed it more after first
reading Sue's story. Incidentally, I can just imagine Deidre or Tammy
Ng writing a sequel to this story - probably from the perspective of one
of them leaving a telephone message for the other about what they did
while they read this pair of stories - or perhaps what an unnamed
reviewer did shortly after reading these stories. No - that's too much
of a stretch.
Ratings for "Across the Catty Corner"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Library of Congress" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=201248293
The title is a bit deceptive. The story doesn't take place in the
Library of Congress, where activities like this are fairly common,
but rather in a sub-basement of the medical law library where
Julie goes to school. What do you suppose would happen if Our
Hero and Julie were wrapping up a study session in a lonely
library area, occupied only by the classical, bespectacled
librarian and the gangly adolescent with the book cart? Just as
you might expect, Julie seduces the librarian by giving her The
Look. Then while Julie settles her overdue fines with the book
kid on the study table, Our Hero does the silent serenade with the
librarian among the stacks. It's very sexy stuff; this author is
at his best when he's describing two couples copulating
simultaneously. If synchronized sex ever becomes an Olympic
sport, I want Mark Aster for my team's coach.
Ratings for "Library of Congress"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10