Celestial Reviews 280 - May 2, 1998
Note: A little boy and his parents are at the circus. The father goes to get
some popcorn just when the elephant show starts. The little boy points and
asks his mother "Mommy, what's that?"
To which his mother replies. "That's an elephant."
The boy says "I know that. I mean that."
And the mother says "That's his trunk."
And the boy again says "I know that, I mean that."
The mother looks again to where he is pointing and says "That's its tail."
But the boy is not happy with that answer either. He points again and says "No
Mommy, that."
The mother looks again and understands. "Oh that, that's nothing."
A few moments pass and the father returns with the popcorn and the mother runs
off to the restroom. The little boy points and asks his father "Daddy, what's
that?"
To which his father replies. "That's an elephant."
The boy says "I know that. I mean that."
And his father says "That's his trunk."
And the boy again says "I know that, I mean that."
The father says "That's its tail."
The boy points one last time and says "No Daddy, that."
His father looks to his son and says "That's it's penis."
To which the boy says "Mommy says it's nothing."
The father leans back in his seat and sighs a bit and says, "I've spoiled that
woman."
Second note:
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a bottle laying in
the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes a Genie. The Russian is stunned
and the Genie says, "Hello master, I will grant you one wish, anything you
want."
The Russian begins thinking, "Well, I really like drinking vodka." Finally the
Russian says, "I wish to drink vodka whenever I want, so make me piss vodka."
The Genie grants him his wish. When the Russian gets home he gets a glass out
of the cupboard and pisses in it. He looks at the glass and it's clear. Looks
like vodka. Then he smells the liquid. Smells like vodka. So he takes a taste
and it is the best vodka he has ever tasted. The Russian yells to his wife,
"Natasha, Natasha, come quickly!" She comes running down the hall and the
Russian takes another glass out of the cupboard and pisses into it. He tells
her to drink, it is vodka. Natasha is reluctant but goes ahead and takes a
sip. It is the best vodka she has ever tasted. The two drink and party all
night. The next night the Russian comes home from work and tells his wife to
get two glasses out of the cupboard. He proceeds to piss in the two glasses.
The result is the same, the vodka is excellent and the couple drink until the
sun comes up. Finally Friday night comes and the Russian comes home and tells
his wife, "Natasha grab one glass from the cupboard and we will drink vodka."
His wife gets the glass from the cupboard and sets it on the table. The
Russian begins to piss in the glass and when he fills it his wife asks him,
"But Boris, why do we need only one glass?" Boris raises the glass and says,
"Because tonight my love, you drink from the bottle."
Third note: Penile magnitude is an important topic in some of our stories.
Here are some things never to say to a man with a small penis:
1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahh, it's cute.
3. Stop fingering me and fuck me.
4. I'm sorry.
5. Who circumcised you?
6. Why don't we just cuddle?
7. You know they have surgery to fix that.
8. It's more fun to look at.
9. Make it dance.
10. You know, there's a tower in Italy like that.
11. Can I paint a smiley face on that?
12. It looks like a nightcrawler.
13. Wow, and your feet are so big.
14. My last boyfriend was 4" bigger.
15. It's OK, we'll work around it.
16. Is this a mild or a spicy Slim Jim?
17. Eww, there's an inch worm on your thigh.
18. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
19. Oh no, a flash headache.
20. (giggle and point)
21. Can I be honest with you?
22. My 8-year-old brother has one like that.
23. Let me go get my tweezers.
24. How sweet, you brought incense.
25. This explains your car.
26. You must be a growing boy.
27. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
28. Thanks, I needed a toothpick.
29. Are you one of those pygmies?
30. Have you ever thought of working in a sideshow?
31. Ever hear of Clearasil?
32. All right, a treasure hunt!
33. I didn't know they came that small.
34. Why is God punishing you?
35. At least this won't take long.
36. Let's just stick with your hand.
37. Do you need a splint to prop that up.
38. How interesting.
39. I never saw one like that before.
40. What do you call this?
41. But it still works right?
42. Damn I hate baby-sitting.
43. It looks so unused.
44. Do you take steroids?
45. I hear excessive masturbation shrinks your dick.
46. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
47. I think there's a dildo around here somewhere.
48. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
49. Let me know when you're done.
50. Oh, I didn't know you were in an accident.
51. Did you date Lorena Bobbitt?
52. Aww, it's hiding.
53. Are you cold?
54. If you get me real drunk first.
55. Is that an optical illusion?
56. What is that?
57. Does this run in your family?
58. I'll go get the ketchup for your French fry.
59. Were you neutered?
60. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
61. Does it come with an air pump?
62. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on
personality.
63. Where are the puppet strings?
64. Look, it all fits in my mouth at once.
65. Deep throat???
66. Your big gun is more like a BB gun.
67. Can you get this pencil out of me now?
68. Do I hang my hat on it?
69. Look, it fits my Barbie clothes!
70. Don't hold back.
71. Never mind, why bother.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Point of View" by Dark Omega, Battlecat (feline view of sex)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348994702
"Janey's Bet" by Miles Naismith (gambling and mild bdsm)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347361932
"Drip, drip, drip" by Artie (medical research sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348816928
"The Palm Tree Parababble" by Losgud (spring orgy story)
10, 8, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=338704716
"You" by Irishlass (poem) 10, 9, 9
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348443497
"Ode to Rape" by The RapeMaster (doggerel) 7, 1, 1
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=349129704
"Virgin Bride" by BlueLady (passionate poem) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347878223
"Public Offering" by Mr Easy (public humiliation) 5, 3, 1
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=344315815
Guest Reviews:
"My New Stepsister" by fred-fan (incest) 10, 9, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340725362
"Speechless" by David Lawrence
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=344763221
"The Ultimate Mind Control" by EzRiter
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348274049
"Shields" by Spoonbender {Working Girls} 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343623343
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343822335
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343822344
"Raping Helena" By E. Z. Riter (rape) 10, 10, -
{Not archived yet}
Reposted Reviews:
* "The Sad, Bad Man" by BronwenSM (romance) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348274027
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
========================
On this day in Celestial History..
Celestial Reviews #81 - May 4, 1996
========================
* "Mall" by Deirdre (ff anal sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=197456784
* "The Storm" by D.A. Ignatius (outdoor sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=193947016 (1)
(1) Repost not by Author.
========================
"Point of View" by Dark Omega, Battlecat (darkomega@nym.alias).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348994702
I am usually not a skeptic. If somebody says a mind control story is "true," I
naturally swallow every word of it. If somebody in a "true" story says he has
been popping nuns' cherries with a cucumber, I accept every word of it as
gospel. However, when I first found a story by "Delta's Cat" buried in my
postings between "ALL PUSSY@HERE>>>>>>>>>>" and Kim's anti-orgasmic tract
"When's too much, too much?", I had to stop and ask myself, "Can this be for
real?"
What this story does is examine the sexual activity between Sharon and Jason
from the perspective of Sharon's Cat, whose name is Midnight, who becomes
terrified when Jason offers to eat Sharon's pussy. It's not the best jerk-off
material you'll ever see, but it really is an extremely innovative, creative
approach to a sex story.
I liked this story a lot. Sadly, however, I eventually concluded this was not
written by a cat at all. Probably just another human being with feline
tendencies.
Ratings for "Point of View"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Janey's Bet" by Miles Naismith (mnaismith@hotmail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347361932
This is another one of those "true" stories. Its disclaimer ends with the
sentence, "Have I ever lied to you?" As I read those words, I couldn't help
thinking, "Is it right to answer a rhetorical question with a rhetorical
question? Does the pope shit in the woods?" Has this author ever done
anything OTHER than lie to me?
I knew nothing except that I knew nothing; and so, like Xanthippe, I
terminated my Socratic dialogue and got on with the story.
Our narrator (Miles) and his wife Jackie have meet Bob and Janey at a bar not
far from Harvard Yard. Janey is the author of those erotic stories you have
cum to know and love on this newsgroup. Miles and Jackie are both aficionados
of Janey's stories, and so they figure maybe they'll get some action. They
arrange to meet for dinner and then retire to the condo, and Miles has his
hopes boosted when Janey utters these sexy words to him: "Miles, you're nice.
I know I will enjoy being with you." Miles replies, " We need to do at least
something, I think. I expect Jackie would feel guilty if I didn't participate
in this somehow, and you seem to feel the same despite the lack of chemistry
for you."
So, while Bob and Jackie go for a romp in the bedroom, Miles makes a wager
with Janey. From Janey's perspective it's one of those "heads I win, tales you
lose bets": if Miles wins he gets to pamper Janey, and if Janey wins she gets
pampered by Miles. There are also side bets or corollaries or whatever
gamblers call it when the loser has to give the other person his/her pubic
hair as part of the bet.
The sex involves some things that don't particularly turn me on (bondage and
shaving), but it was very tasteful and sexy. This tale is not in a class with
Janey's own descriptions of her adventures, but it's still a very good story.
Ratings for "Janey's Bet"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Drip, drip, drip" by Artie (artie@netgate.net).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348816928
I think the author's goal in writing this story was to have the female
protagonist have as many orgasms as possible (21 all told) without letting the
story become at all sexually stimulating. He succeeded. That makes this into
an odd, but very interesting story.
It's very difficult to describe this story without ruining it. Let me just
say that you shouldn't give this one to your lover as part of foreplay.
Basically, the woman is doing some biomedial research to stimulate orgasms
with drugs. The orgasms come and come and come, but her experience sounds
pretty much like the last time I had oral surgery: painless but not memorable.
Ratings for "Drip, drip, drip"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Palm Tree Parababble" by Losgud (lushgod@hotnomail.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=338704716
Losgud is a late arrival for Malinov's spring orgy. Describing what goes on
in this story is really hard - in the sense of "difficult," not in the sense
of male penile tumescence. Ya see, the story is incoherent - incoherent in a
delightful sort of way, but still incoherent.
With this story more than any of the rest of those in the Malinov's Orgy
series it is really essential to be familiar with the major writers whom the
author mentions. There is essentially no sex in this story, just babble about
Losgud and these authors and something about a palm tree.
Ratings for "The Palm Tree Parababble"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"You" by Irishlass (irishlass68@yahoo.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348443497
As I say every time I review another poem, I am reluctant to get into the
business of reviewing poetry, but now that I have opened that can of worms I
can't change horses in the middle of the stream. See? I can do metaphors;
but I just can't put them together like a poet.
This is a very good poem that describes a woman's reaction to her man. The
only reason I gave it a couple of 9s instead of straight 10s is because it is
not in the same class with the poems by Bluelady that I have reviewed lately.
However, this is a darned good poem. It conveys the poet's emotions very
nicely.
Ratings for "You"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Ode to Rape" by The RapeMaster (Rapeher@your-house.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=349129704
The RapeMaster had better not quit his daytime job. This poem really sucks.
The RapeMaster apparently belongs to that school of poetry that believes that
if the same syllable occurs at the end of two consecutive lines the result is
a "rhyme," and if the author does this often enough, the accumulation is
referred to as a "poem." Here's are some examples of what I suppose the
author might call "couplets":
To have a strong man take me down
Rip off my clothes and slap me around
Is just so damned exciting,
I don't even mind the frightening.
My nipples grow hard in anticipation
Of the sweet humiliation
Savagely thrusting as if into my soul,
He empties his sweet cum deep in my fuck-hole.
I'm not making these up.
Not even a really drunk country-western singer who sitting with his guitar and
his dog named Blue in his pick-up truck at the side of the four-lane down by
the bus station waiting for his lover who has wronged him to get home from
prison could make this crap sound good.
Ratings for "Ode to Rape"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 1
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 1
"Virgin Bride" by BlueLady (bluelady16@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347878223
Simply stated, this poem is the opposite of the one I reviewed just above.
This one conveys images and intensity of emotion that enable us to feel the
passions taking place in the scene before our mind's eye.
Just read the poem.
Ratings for "Virgin Bride"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Public Offering" by Mr Easy (mr_ez@hotmail.com). Three of my guest reviewers
read this story and then declined to write a review, and so I decided to do it
myself. This story is the work of a first-time author who earnestly wants my
advice. The most productive thing I can say, Mr Easy, is that your writing
will probably improve. Either that or you'll stop writing.
The story comes across as the sort of thing Beavis and Butthead would think
of: "Hey, let's write a story about a woman who gets publicly humiliated and
really likes it." "Yeah, cool! And we can have people fuck her!" Then B&B
rush their thoughts onto paper and post the first draft. So we have a story
in which a guy ties his lover to a "captor" and lets some punks have their way
with her. Afterwards, the guy exclaims, " "HOW WERE THOSE TEENAGED COCKS?
UGH! HOW DID YOU LIKE BEING THEIR LITLE SLUT?"
UGH, indeed.
This basic plot does not HAVE to result in a bad story. Delta's "The Whipping
Post" is a story with a similar plot that received straight 10s from me in CR
189. The main differences were (1) Delta's story was more literate, and (2)
Delta presented the plot as a plausible but startling series of events. This
one comes across as suggesting that everybody knows this would be fun, when in
fact few people know that would be the case.
Ratings for "Public Offering"
Athena (technical quality): 5
Venus (plot & character): 3
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 1
"My New Stepsister" by fred-fan (fred-fan@juno.com). Guest review by Sven the
Elder (Sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340725362
Perhaps this is a recent male / female fantasy; it is an adolescent
exploration I missed out on. I was a lot older than my two kid sisters and so
never had the benefit, or otherwise, of learning adulthood through shared
experience. Would they have let me - I knoweth not. The experience of the
writer and his 'New Stepsister', Linda, may not be typical but are delightful
to read. The hesitating touching and Doctor's and Nurses games between the
growing children, who are closed matched in age, has that almost indefinable
ring of truth. Gentle sibling love. Although told before, by others in
different ways, this version is a nice story.
Ratings for "My New Stepsister"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Sven (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Speechless" by David Lawrence (dhl@sysun.com). Guest Review by Pulp Fan.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=344763221
In "Speechless" (aptly named, as there is essentially no dialogue), the
protagonist of the tale goes off to a secluded mountain retreat to be alone
with his thoughts. However, his thoughts are soon disturbed by the arrival of
a couple who, while acknowledging his presence, begin to get a little
amorous--all that clean mountain air and all. Their passionate kissing
embarrasses him at first, but slowly, as they grow bolder and progress a bit
further in their lovemaking, he begins to get turned on. You can pretty much
guess the rest from that point on, although it didn't _quite_ turn out the way
I thought it was going to go, and I thought the very end bit was a nice touch.
While the idea behind "Speechless" may be nothing new, I thought it was well
done and well written--a bit awkward in places, but nothing serious enough to
interfere with your enjoyment of it. Although the author terms this a
"stroke" story, I probably wouldn't have classified it as such. While the sex
is heavy, fairly lengthy and quite nicely done, there is more story and
introspection associated with it than I generally associate with pure stroke
stories. On the other hand (so to speak), if that's your goal in reading,
this story could be what you're looking for.
Ratings for "Speechless":
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Pulp Fan (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Ultimate Mind Control" by E.Z. Riter (ezriter@hotmail.com). Guest review
by DG.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348274049
This is a silly but entertaining story about a futuristic company that turns
young women into sex slaves and then sells them at a vast profit. The company
has developed such advanced scientific techniques to make the women sexier
that elaborate security precautions are required to keep the male employees
from going insane with lust. The company is owned by Dr. McRichards, who is
also the head of quality control. Quality control at a sex slave factory is
pretty cushy work, as you might imagine.
Trouble starts to brew when one of the new recruits, a seventeen year old
beauty contest winner, turns out to be so sexually powerful that she bypasses
all the security restrictions and nearly causes a major "emergency." When Dr.
McRichards and his crack team examine this new siren, they discover that
powerful sex appeal runs in her family and that their problems are just
beginning.
I would describe this story as humorous rather than sexy. I found it to be
well worth reading for the chuckles it generated. My only quibble is that the
writing could have been sharper, especially with the dialogue. I would
recommend this story to a general audience - the tone is so light that the sex
slavery stuff won't squick anyone.
Ratings for "The Ultimate Mind Control"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 9
DG (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Shields" by Spoonbender (Theodore@spoonbender.demon.co.uk). Guest review by
Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343623343
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343822335
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=343822344
Morgan is large. Morgan contains paradoxes. Everyone wonders if Morgan is
male or female. Spoonbender warns us we should be wondering if Morgan is
human. Maybe the Morgan we know on ASSD speaks for the Morgan collective, a
race of insidious aliens with the consistency of used motor oil. The Morgans
also have a military need for human females because under the right
circumstances pussy juice makes a most excellent shield.
And so with tongue in cheek and 'zs' on the shelf, Spoonbender gives us three
excellent stories set in this strange universe where women aren't merely
objects but spare parts!
In the first story we are introduced to the concept of using large dildos to
sexually excite women and extract pussy juice that is used to generate
shields. Star Trek, by contrast, uses a dilithium matrix held in an anti-
mater, graviton flux suspension to create sympathetic, modulated quantum
energy wavelets on various harmonic frequencies that distort inbound hostile
energy discharges. Both are perfectly valid shield generating techniques, but
I believe Spoonbender's method may be more fun -- it's certainly easier to
describe!. Moral of the story: autoeroticism can not only be fun but
productive as well!
In the second story a human has defected to the Morgans and is working for
them as a mercenary on a small scout ship fitted with two, very pretty, shield
generators. Well when in space with a pretty shield generator do as the
Morgans do, oh wait the Morgans don't actually do anything - bad example.
Anyway we get a little light bondage (quasi N/C but not squicky) before the
shields are rescued by a passing human ship. Moral of the story: You can look
at your shield generators but don't touch!
In the third story the humans have managed to duplicate the shield technology
and the male commanders are rather surprised to discover how patriotic all the
women folk are by volunteering to be shields. The downside? Well if the
women have sex with men then the juice just ain't no good. So the women are
happy and content with the high tech dildos and them men just have to abstain.
Now we come to the big climatic (for the women, anti-climatic for the men)
battle where the human women are warm and fuzzy and the men haven't been
getting any. Anyone wanna put a bet on the Morgans? Moral of the story: Hell
hath no fury like an undersexed man.
Somehow, even when Spoonbender writes a story he marks humor there's an
element of horror just under the surface. The women have probably already
recoiled at being strapped in a large chair with a huge impersonal dildo ready
to pound at them for several hours. Well maybe not all the women, I think the
girl in the first story was quite possibly modeled after one of the ASSD
megastars.
To let the men appreciate the full impact of this horror let's change the plot
a little so that the shields work on semen. Ever see one of those automated
cow milking machines boys? Imagine one of those industrial strength babies
working you over. And remember this stuff is designed by the military. Let
us ponder…
This is the third Spoonbender story I've reviewed. I've thoroughly enjoyed
every one of those stories and this one was no exception. Women as objects,
as well as a little N/C sex are normally squick factors for me. Spoonbender
deftly manages to dance around those buttons though. In this story he didn't
even come near them.
Neither of my previous reviews of Spoonbender's work got a triple ten from me.
(Though really a re-review of "The Gene" would probably get that mark, I was
still getting a feel for the scoring system when I reviewed that one). I
__wanted__ to give this one a triple ten. But I can't. At least the version
I reviewed had enough spelling errors and grammatical glitches for me to knock
down Athena. I'm really easy in this category but if it's distracting to me
then there are probably a dozen other things I'm not noticing.
Athena aside, this is a very witty, very funny fantasy. Though it's most
definitely not a trash/stroke/"gotta get some now" story, it most definitely
is worth the time to read it.
Ratings for "Shields"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Raping Helena" By E. Z. Riter (ezriter@hotmail.com).
This review is the personal opinion of Kim, who can be contacted at
ghost@nym.alias.net.
{Not archived yet}
This is a hasty rewrite of "Winning Denver", a story that Celeste very
recently gave an 8, 5, 5 score to. I can't comment on that story as I haven't
read it. Celeste didn't seem to like the last version much, and I'm afraid to
say I didn't like this one much either. With such a title I wouldn't even have
contemplated reading it, had Celeste not sent it to me.
I have absolutely no complaints about the writing skills in display, I have no
beef with the author, but I find the story repellent, the main first-person
narrator, Dan, obnoxious, and the main victim, Helena, depressingly
believable.
Which leaves me in yet another awkward position. I've already declined to
review one story this last week, due to its pedo content, so should I decline
this one also?
It might be fairer to the author, I suppose, but as I'm not going to give a
score for personal appeal, as it didn't have any for me, just take it for
granted that if you're a rape story fan then it would have got a ten.
The story involves a gambler, up on his luck, offered the chance to pay off a
newlywed couple's gambling debts by an unscrupulous casino boss. The deal is
that the wife will submit to the gambler for the rest of their stay in Las
Vegas, if he pays her debts. For that he can do what he likes to her. If she
fails to comply with his wishes, she will be gang-raped. Quite how that would
recover the money is unclear, but still.
There follows a protracted, slow-motion rape of the woman, who's suffering
terribly having discovered that her husband had set her up deliberately for
this, as the thought of his wife being raped and humiliated turns him on. This
story is peopled by such nice folks, don'tchya think?
I said at the beginning that I had no beef with the author. Well, I guess
that's not true. The thing that slammed the final nail in the coffin for me,
was the unforgivable concept that over and above all the trauma the women, so
lovingly detailed, suffers, her final comment is "Please. Don't stop." Un-
fuckin'-believable <shaking head in disbelief>.
Had the author had the courage to finish as he started, with the hyper-
realistic devastation the wretched woman suffers, at least it would have
retained some sort of integrity for me.
Ratings for "Raping Helena"
Athena (technical quality): 10 (no denying, it was very well written)
Venus (plot & character): 10 (a sordid plot doesn't make it a bad
plot)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): - (or 10 if you're a rape fan. Surprisingly
enough, I'm not)
* "Mall" by Deirdre.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=197456784
Two female friends are having drinks at the mall. "Wouldn't you like to lick
that ass?" says one, as a hot babe in a bikini walks past. Gulp, says the
other. This story is really hard to summarize. It's short. Read it
yourself. It will hold your attention. It certainly did hold mine.
Ratings for "Mall"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The Storm" by D.A. Ignatius (jash@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=193947016 (1)
The author of the DarkNites stories is especially adept at describing the role
of power in sexual encounters. In this story, she blends the power of sexual
passion with the power of a violent storm. I cannot summarize the imagery
adequately in this review, and so I am not going to try. As I read this
story, I found myself feeling the power of the orgasms and of the storm as
they blended together.
Ratings for "The Storm"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The Sad, Bad Man" by BronwenSM (bronwen@anon.nymserver.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348274027
Accustomed to the friendly variety of sex in a typical small town in the
British Isles, Our Narrator has moved to London, where the risks are greater
and hence the pickins are slimmer. Masturbation is no long-term solution, she
says; it's like living on bar snacks. So she commutes back home for sex on
weekends - until she meets Liam, which, incidentally, was John Wayne's name in
"The Quiet Man," in which he returned from the United States to Ireland and
beat the snot out of whoever played Maureen O'Hara's brother before they
boinked happily ever after.
Ah, theirs was a lust "as beautiful as a horse galloping up a hill on a bright
morning, as the big breaker that throws you onto the beach. Beyond horny.
Almost as pure as love." And then they fucked like magpies in heat - Bronwen
says like a runaway train, but I know a better simile when I hear one.
Thereafter, weekend followed weekend. Nearly every weekend they ran into each
other. Never, not once, did they arrange to meet. But they met just the same.
He drank too much, he owned nothing, he had a child he never saw. His life was
without form, their talk was shallow. But sex with him was like a country
western song in a pickup truck at a bus station - or like a fire burning, to
use the author's more prosaic words.
So how do we get from there to the last three lines: "Oh, love, you were a
sad, bad man but I for one will never forget you. And you taught me one vital
lesson. Always wear your heart on your sleeve. That way, at least it's
legible." I guess you'll just have to read the story to find out.
This is the best Bronwen story I have seen so far. And that's saying a lot.
Ratings for "The Sad, Bad Man"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10