Celestial Reviews 279 - April 29, 1998
Note: Let's have a contest. I was trying to think of a clever way to say to
one of the reviewers that she has responded really quickly. I couldn't think
of a suitable metaphor or simile. So I welcome your help. Simply complete
the following phrase:
...faster than....
Variations are OK, even if they indicate the opposite
...about as fast as...
Contest deadline is May 5. Results will be posted on May 6. That's faster
than a one-legged man in a whore chasing contest. {Ooops! That one sort of
limps.}
Second note: Grandma, who was living with her daughter's family, let her
11-year-old grandson in from school. "What did you learn today?" she asked.
"Sex education. All about penises and vaginas and intercourse and stuff," he
replied matter-of-factly.
The old woman was shocked and reported the conversation to her daughter. Her
daughter replied, "Mom, this is the Nineties. These days it's all part of the
curriculum."
A few hours later, the grandmother was reading, when her daughter announced
dinner was ready. Grandmother walked past her grandson's bedroom and noticed
him on his bed, vigorously masturbating. "Sonny," she said, "when you're
finished with your homework, come on downstairs to eat."
Third note: While out one morning in the park, a jogger found a brand new
tennis ball; and seeing no one around it might belong to, he slipped it into
the pocket of his shorts.
Later, on his way home, he stopped at the pedestrian crossing, waiting for the
lights to change.
A blonde girl standing next to him eyed the large bulge in his shorts. "What's
that?" she asked, her eyes gleaming with lust.
"Tennis ball," came the breathless reply.
"Oh," said the blonde sympathetically, "that must be painful.... I had tennis
elbow once."
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"The Beach" by Alex Schriener (hot sex) 10, 8, 6
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=246236038
"Car Cricket" by Nick (car chase sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347596798
"Forgive Me Father" by Val White (earful in confessional)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346717664
"2time" by Alun (hot sex) 9, 8, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346329825
"Dies Irae" by Janey (sexual retrrospective) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347881455
"The Difference Between Men And Women" by LeAnna
(outdoor romance) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347472955
"The Rules of the Game" by David L (recreational sex)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347878224
Guest Reviews:
"Jason's Power" by EzRiter (mind control) 10, 5, 3
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=344145177
"The Dryad" by Peat Brett (magick & sex) 10, 9, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346717735
"Someone Elses Garden" by Unknown Author (anal and more sex)
7, 5, 3
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346329547
"Artist" by Paris Waterman (stroke story) 9, 8.5, 9
{Not yet archived}
"Chance" by Windrider (romance) 10, 10, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348274001
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348274006
"My Best Friend, My Lover" by Stephanie (ff adolescent sex)
7, 4, 5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347596796
"Double Blind" by SandMan (science-fi mystery) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348314967
"Delane's Trip" by Cirsium (masturbation) 8.5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346717632
"Trouble Maker" by John Smith (fantasy gang-bang) 9, 9, 7
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=34759679
"The Beach" by Alex Schriener (schriene@ridgecrest.ca.us). This is a simple,
brief description of a man and a woman making passionate love on a secluded
beach. It uses the second person ("you") perspective. It would have been
extremely easy to rewrite this from a third person perspective, but the author
has chosen to just dump onto the newsgroup something he wrote for a specific
individual without taking into consideration the perspective of the people who
will read it. It's still a decent story.
Ratings for "The Beach"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
"Car Cricket" by Nick (nick@cassandra.demon.co.uk). This is an auto-erotic
story. That's my humor for the day: this is actually a story about a very
sexy car chase. When I first heard that this was a car-chase story, I figured
it was going to be a flop. What can be sexy about driving around in a fast
car? Well, for one thing, the language helps - for example, allusions to
stallions and to highways "parting above the city like a pair of thighs." In
addition, I could almost feel the driver's lust as he chased the woman across
the highways of England. Does the Queen know her subjects do things like
this?
This is the first story that I have reviewed that used "dopplered" as a verb.
The story really does need some more details at the beginning. We get a very
vague start-up and then unrelated, intense action - with a reference back (I
think) to the beginning at the end of the story. The author was probably
trying to be deliberately mysterious, but it irked me. As the policeman says
at the end of the story, "Lose our concentration a bit, back there did we
sir?"
Ratings for "Car Cricket"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Forgive Me Father" by Val White (val72@hotmail.com). Joseph Conrad used to
set his stories in the context of sailors talking to one another. In "The
Heart of Darkness" I remember waking up in the middle of the story and
noticing three nested quotation marks in the left margin: I had to start the
story over just to figure out who was talking to whom. In the present case
the author sets the story in the context of a woman talking to a priest in the
confessional. Since it has been a slow day, the priest encourages her to
disclose all the lurid details, so that she can be forgiven more completely,
of course.
As a young Catholic girl, I often wondered what it would be like to confess a
sexual sin to a priest. I'm still wondering, because I have never yet done
so. I've just never figured out why any of my sexual activities should be
considered "sinful."
I was imbibing at a party with a priest one evening, and I asked him if he
felt uncomfortable about sex in the confessional. He said he certainly did.
I asked him how he dealt with it, and he said he made a deliberate attempt to
keep it informal and impersonal. He felt that it was his job to symbolize the
person's reconciliation with the community rather than to discuss intimate
details, and he added that he was not qualified to give psychiatric
counseling. When I asked him what he would do if I came into his confessional
and told him I wanted to fuck his brains out, he said he would tell me to say
three Hail Marys and to make a good act of contrition instead. Then he told me
this story.
The eighth graders were going to confession. The first boy said, "Bless me
father, for I have sinned. I blew bubbles behind the shed out behind the
school." Assuming that this was for some reason prohibited, the priest gave
him three Hail Marys for penance and sent him on the way.
The next three boys also confessed to similar activities behind the shed at
the back of school. When a girl finally entered the confessional, the priest
mumbled in exasperation, "I suppose you've been blowing bubbles too." The girl
replied, "No, I'm Bubbles."
Anyway, I've been a Catholic all my life, and I don't know of any women who
have been exploited by priests in the confessional. Nor do I know whether
priests get their rocks off by listening to stories from penitents. I know I
myself listen to a lot of sordid stories from the abused women I have
counseled, and I don't get turned on sexually.
Back to this story - it has a surprise ending that really didn't surprise me.
But overall, this was a very sexy story.
Ratings for "Forgive Me Father"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"2time" by Alun (posted by sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk). Peter is a 40-year-
old businessman who is going into politics. Joni is a 25-year-old reporter
who wants to seduce him so that she can write a story about him. Exactly why
she has to fuck him to write the story is never clear - maybe that's just a
"given" with British politicians. We know the story takes place in England,
because the woman has an arse and the man "realises" how sexy a woman can be
when she is still clothed.
The roles of the seducer and the seducee frequently change as the two engage
in their sexplay. Overall, this is a pretty good story, but there was a
little too much non-specific innuendo for my taste.
Ratings for "2time"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Dies Irae" by Janey (janey98@hotmail.com). As a child, I attended numerous
Catholic funeral masses. In fact, when we got to the seventh and eighth grade
we became the funeral choir, which meant that we got out of science for a half
hour and sang while they buried some poor soul. The Catholic funeral mass is
an incredible study in contrasts. It starts with the "Requiem Aeternam,"
which is beautiful, restful, and optimistic. It ends with the "In
Paradisiam," which is beautiful, triumphal, and optimistic. In between, lies
the "Dies Irae" (pronounced DEE-ez EEE-ray) - a lengthy medieval poem designed
to scare the hell out of everyone present. Even if you didn't understand the
words (which were in Latin), the music itself scared the hell out of you.
This is the way it was with the Catholic religion of my youth - a study of
contrasts. Half the people seemed to be concerned with burning in hell and
half seemed to be alive with a wonderful lust for life. We'd be told that
people burned in hell for masturbating, but we were assured that our bodies
were holy. We had a vague feeling that celibates were holier than everyone
else, but Catholic weddings were some of the wildest parties there ever were.
In this story a man returns to his home town and happens to notice from the
obituaries that an old girlfriend has died. He attends her funeral and thinks
about her. I suppose the title refers to the hymn from the funeral mass plus
the fact that the last time he was with the woman was a dies irae - a day of
wrath - of sorts. There's not a lot of hot, explicit sex in this story, but I
enjoyed it very much.
Ratings for "Dies Irae"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Difference Between Men And Women" by LeAnna (enkilli@hotmail.com). Kea
and Justin go for a walk in the woods in early spring. They discuss how men
and women differ in how they smoke cigarettes and in how they eat. Then they
explore some sexual differences between men and women.
The combination of conversation and activity is what makes this story
excellent. Let this story be an inspiration to you. If you've never had sex
in the woods, make it a point to do so this spring. But try not to get
arrested for indecent exposure and watch out for poison ivy. In addition, if
you are a minor in the jurisdiction in which you live, don't have sex at all
and stop reading this review immediately.
Ratings for "The Difference Between Men And Women"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Rules of the Game" by David L (dhl@elektra.sysun.com). Ria and Tom have
agreed to remain friends rather than lovers. If they became lovers, they
reason, then they would stop being friends. Everybody (including Billy
Crystal) knows that. They used to have recreational sex, but they have vowed
never to do that again. In fact, they vow never to do that again every time
they have recreational sex together.
Anyway, they decide to hump one more time and then to re-vow; and so they go
off on a little odyssey to accumulate the props they will need for their
escapade.
The scene in the porn video store rivals the condom scene from "Summer of 42."
They go to great effort to keep the clerk from knowing what they are planning
to do, but he obviously knows all along. The only flaw in this sequence is
that the clerk comes into the back room to check on them. In real life, he
would simply watch them on the ubiquitous security camera.
The hottest sex scene occurs while they are watching the porn video. As you
may know, the actors and actresses in porn flicks sometimes lack both acting
ability and interest in their activity. However, in this case the actresses
come alive during the compulsory lesbian scene, and so do Ria and Tom.
The story is a wonderful combination of awkwardness, humor, and spontaneity.
It's a very sexy story.
Ratings for "The Rules of the Game"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Jason's Power" by EzRiter (posted by Don Elis dee@onramp.net). Guest review
by Stephen Peters (sxjames@aol.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=344145177
This story is a classroom example of bad sex writing. I know the preceding
statement isn't the nicest way to start a review, but after spending the
better part of a day trying to come up with a clever opening paragraph I
figured a forthright statement of the truth would be most appropriate. To
fully understand why, read on.
Briefly, "Jason's Power" is an MC (mind control) story told from the point of
Jason's lover/sex-slave Cindy. As the story opens, Cindy is crying (according
to the author, for three days straight(!)) because no one showed up at her
birthday party. Cindy is overweight and unpopular, but her new next door
neighbor (Jason) appears and offers to cure her weight problem by hypnotizing
her. Over the next couple of weeks Cindy looses the weight, and in sort of an
'oh, by the way' fashion falls for Jason -- realizing how much she would love
to be dominated by him. From then on the tale interweaves two different
themes. The first is 'Jason the heroic/kind dominator', and it reads like a
genuine MC romance. Jason is kind and sweet, never forcing himself on Cindy,
promising to love and protect her. There is even a interesting subplot
involving Cindy sister's lesbianism. The second theme is 'Jason the virile,
adolescent MC stud' in which he hypnotizes, fucks, and turns into his sex
slave the nextdoor neighbor, the nextdoor neighbor's daughter, Cindy's sister,
the prettiest girls in school, etc. ad nauseam. Back and forth the tale goes,
switching between his orgies and her love, until it ends with Jason, in a fit
of anger, using (and abusing) his power against a teacher at school. Cindy
intervenes and gets Jason to undo the damage, thus showing the power of love.
Okay, I'll give the author credit for trying to take this story beyond simple,
pure domination. The idea of a girlfriend having to control her MC boyfriend
is an intriguing idea, one worth exploring. But every time I began to get the
least bit interested in the story or characters the author kept coming up with
some of the most banal and formula sex scenes I've read in quite a while.
Jason is blessed with a 'monster cock' (the author's words) and he uses it...
well, like a teenage boy in a sex story. Here he is with the nextdoor
neighbor lady (Mrs. Parker). Cindy is watching as Mrs. Parker says:
"Now, Jason, please, stick it in me. Like that... yes, oh, yes.
God, you are big. Fuck me with that big cock...Uhhhh."
Mrs. Parker was very vocal in her lovemaking and while I won't
repeat all of it, I can tell you it was wonderfully wild and made
me very hot.
"Good, Jason, so good..." she whimpered as my hand slipped under my
blouse to caress my nipple. I was already a B Cup and I was still
growing.
"Yes, Jason, hold my arms down. Slam me hard, baby. Hard! Fuck me
with that monster!"
The above is typical. It doesn't matter which hole Jason is aiming for; he
just pounds that ol' monster home and the girls orgasm, sometimes without
Jason having to move a muscle. In the course of this story the author manages
to violate at least a half a dozen of Celeste's rules, to the clear determent
of the story telling. As an example, the one scene that truly held my
interest occurred when Jason hypnotized Patti Parker (Mrs. Parker's
daughter), allowing Patti to describe in great detail her dream of submission.
However, towards the end of this scene Jason (for some unfathomable reason)
has her undress, and the reader is treated to....
"What are your measurements?"
"35dd - 22 - 36, master. All natural, too."
All the author succeeded in doing was removing my attention from Patti's vivid
dream and focusing it on the fact that she has really, really big mammeries.
Not a real good idea.
The above is forgivable, but what follows next isn't. In the opening
paragraph the author claims this is a true story. Yep, a 'true' mind control
story. I don't know what the author was thinking, but there is nothing about
this tale that even remotely rings true, and all that opening statement did
was irritate the heck out of me. It was as if the author was saying "the
readers are really gullible and won't know the difference." Wrong. If the
author had stated up front that this was an MC stroke fantasy I'd be a lot
more forgiving. I may have even been in the frame of mind to enjoy the plot,
bad sex and all. But as it was the lack of honesty robbed me of whatever
enjoyment I may have gotten from this tale.
-- Numbers mean nothing without context, read the review --
Ratings for "Jason's Power"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 5 (mostly on the strength of the idea)
Stephen (appeal to reviewer): 3
"The Dryad" by Peat Brett (v130kgg5@ubvms.cc.buffalo.edu) (reposted by John
Dark). This review is the personal opinion of Kim, who can be contacted at
ghost@nym.alias.net.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=346717735
This is a wander into the realms of myth and magic, or fantasy if you will.
Some unnamed guy goes for a meander in the forest and manages to get himself
severely lost. So he decides to find a quiet spot and hunker down for the
night.
Just his luck to pick a magical glade where a small tree happens to turn into
a dryad. OK, hands up, what's a dryad? Well, I'll tell ya, it's a wood nymph,
half babe, half tree. Well, this is fantasy, is it not?
She dances about, as wood nymphs obviously do, and captivates the observing
interloper till he can restrain himself no longer. He chases her though the
trees and with a flying lunge grabs her, only to have her slip from his grasp
by the handy escape tactic of being able to pass through a tree trunk. Not
surprisingly, the narrator bounces off, slightly stunned.
But for inexplicable reasons the nymph takes pity on him and invites him
inside the tree, which mysteriously, he is now able to enter. Having settled
himself in, the nymph and he can't keep their hands off each other and, well,
you can figure out the rest for yourself, I expect, save for the last coupla
paragraphs, which came as a surprise to me. Quite what purpose the surprise
achieves I'm not sure, other than to add to the mystical nature of it all.
Written in a very straight forward and pleasing manner, it manages to carry
off the difficult task of making you want to believe in what your reading. I
enjoyed it a lot. One or two discrepancies crept in, such as the tree canopy
so thick that the sun couldn't be seen, but thin enough for the moonlight to
illuminate the nymphs breasts and so forth, but that's just nitpicking on my
part really.
Enjoyable, if you can be doing with wood nymphs and magic and such.
Ratings for "The Dryad"
Athena (technical quality): 10 (no complaints from me)
Venus (plot & character): 9 (not much plot or character, but
excellent anyway)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 10 (so... I like fantasy <shrug>)
"Someone Elses Garden" by Unknown Author. Guest review by BillyG
(hayden@mindless.com).
Here's the critique: Skip it. Don't even bother. That way you don't have to
read the lame story or this lamer review.
The author's protagonist has a job. We'll assume the author does as well.
Possibly in a THC extraction plant. It's a simple plot. Guy can't find his
wallet, car won't start, misses the bus, it starts raining, he's walking to
the next stop wearing a three-piece suit and a woman drives through a puddle
and gives him a mud bath. All this is in the first paragraph!
He takes a short cut through someone's back yard (having just missed the bus!)
and is confronted by a large dog. A "chilling beautiful" woman calls off the
dog, invites him inside. "She offered me a coffee while she dug out an old
trench coat from a box in her closet." (And that's the last we hear of the
trench coat.)
He's been drugged and wakes up naked, tied to a table (certainly) and she's
naked (of course). After briefly toying with him, she presents him with a sex
doll and says, "Fuck it, I want to watch... then maybe we'll fuck."
Fast forward through mindless drivel. "Over the couch" she moaned. She bent
over the couch. "Wait, I have some KY..." she said leaving. This is to be
expected, isn't it? Celeste has already assured us that all women want to be
fucked in the ass straight away.
There's more. This guy can pack a lot of drivel into a few paragraphs and if
the plot line has captured your interest, you can read . . . no, not even
then.
Ratings for "Someone Elses Garden"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 5
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 3
"Artist" by Paris Waterman (the_panda@hotmail.com). Guest review by jubjub.
{Not yet archived}
This is a stroke story--at least it appears to be one. Apologies to the
author if I'm wrong. This brings up a minor point that I had problems with.
The story is told from the viewpoint of the woman. The writer clearly
attempts to describe a conflict the woman has with casual sex. However, these
attempts merely serve to blur the intent of the story.
Technically, the story isn't too bad. Grammar, punctuation and spelling were
all but perfect (a few punctuation glitches). The major markdown was more
stylistic. First off, the male character had a "monster" cock. The further
fixation on size and repetitive use of the word "monster" tended to distract
somewhat from the story--not to mention the multiple female orgasms.
A third problem dealt with the story arch. Describing a single sex act means
the writer should end the story with a sexual climax. Yet the buildup seemed
flat. This story got me going but never seemed focused and tight enough to
send me over the edge. That's fine enough, but not good enough to warrant a
10. A very good story.
Ratings for "Artist"
Technical: 9 A few quibbles
Characterization and Plot: 8.5 Physical action hard to follow.
Appeal: 9 Nicely erotic but not the perfect story
"Chance" by Windrider (windridr@nospam.datanet.ab.ca) (repost by John Dark).
This review is the personal opinion of Kim, who can be contacted at
ghost@nym.alias.net.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348274001
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=348274006
And another little milestone is reached, with my sixtieth review. Amazing
<smile>.
"Chance" is a wonderfully observed exploration of the notion that sometimes
the nice does get the girl. Our first person narrator is Bruce, a shy twenty-
eight-year-old who's returning home from the movies when he hears the sound of
crying coming from a doorway. It's late at night and the temperature's dropped
to twenty below. The crying, it transpires, is coming from newly runaway
eighteen year-old Julie, penniless, freezing and desperate.
What's a guy to do, under the circumstances? Why, take her home and treat her
like a lady, of course. What follows is the growing relationship of these two
very nice people, as they stumble towards a relationship, and inevitably
sexual union.
I really loved this story up to this point, but then I'm afraid it lost it
with the sex scene. I'm sure many of you will disagree, but it seemed a real
shame that a such a warm, believable story should be let down by silly cliched
sex. The girl only has to get a dick near her and she's orgasming semi-
continuously, while the guy's got a big dick that remains hard through about
four orgasms of its own.
I shouldn't be so harsh, I guess, because the sex is pretty hot, if - for me
at least - lacking in reality or credibility. Had the author been a bit more
restrained with the multiple orgasms all round, then it would have been
straight tens from me. Shame, because I really did like this story, with its
refreshingly gentle approach.
Ratings for "Chance"
Athena (technical quality): 10 (nothing wrong. Really good, in fact)
Venus (plot & character): 10 (very well done, very believable)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 8 (shoulda been ten, if only... )
"My Best Friend, My Lover" by Stephanie (Angei911@aol.com). Guest review by
DG.
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=347596796
In the header to this story, the author mentions that this is her first erotic
story and she asks for comments and suggestions. Here are mine:
Stephanie:
As the story starts you and your best friend Kirstin are watching a movie
together in your room. We learn that both of you are attractive high school
girls. You find yourself taking a peek at Kirstin's shapely ass, and she
catches you looking. So far, not too bad. I can picture the scene, and it
seems pretty realistic. I like a story about high school girls having sex as
much as the next pervert. My only quibble is that there might be a little
more background. Have you been fantasizing about Kirstin for a long time?
How do you feel in general about sex between girls? Which one of you is more
outgoing than the other?
Once Kirstin catches you peeking, more serious problems develop with the
story. Kirstin grabs your hand and sniffs it, realizes that you have been
playing with yourself, and almost immediately orders you to eat her pussy.
Stephanie, this just isn't realistic. Thirty year old dykes might behave like
that, but not high school girls with boyfriends. Take a little time and have
things develop more naturally. Maybe try this: you're embarrassed to be
caught looking and you apologize. Kirstin laughs and admits that she looks at
you sometimes too. You ask Kirstin if she's ever has sex with a girl. She
says no, but she's thought about it. One thing leads to another - a hug, an
kiss, some giggles, a feel.
Once the sex starts, you fall victim to many of the cliches of sex writing.
These cliches can be summed up as the mistaken assumption that more is always
better. If a damp pussy is sexy, than a dripping pussy must be really sexy.
If full breasts are a turn-on, enormous breasts must be even better. Not
true. What is really sexy is realism - giving the reader the impression that
the scene could really happen the way you describe it. Do you think readers
will buy it when you have a high-school girl say to her friend "Lick my
drenched cunt" or "I'll bet you have a tight little fuck-hole?" Of course
not. Don't you think it would be more realistic, and therefore sexier, if you
or Kirstin said "God, I know you're going to think this sounds really gross,
but...do you ever wonder what it would be like to lick a girl's...you know, to
kiss a girl down there?" Maybe you don't. I'm just giving you my opinion.
At the end of the story you ask the readers "Would you like to read part 2?"
I hate to say it, but the answer is no. You haven't created believable
characters that I would want to get to know better or developed the kind of
sexual energy and tension that comes from real people behaving in realistic
ways. My advice to you is to start over with the same general idea, but to
make your characters real high school girls with real high-school girl
personalities, fears, guilt trips, emotions, and goals. If you can portray
characters like that getting down to some pussy munching, I *will* want to
read part 2.
Ratings for "My Best Friend, My Lover"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 4
DG (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Double Blind" by SandMan (sandman@bitsmart.com). Guest review by BillyG
(hayden@mindless.com).
With the notable exception of Asimov and Heinlein, I'm not a science-fiction
buff, but this little tale caught my eye.
Sandman tells a fine story in "Double Blind," a science-fiction mystery with
sexual undertones. It is, Sandman tells us, a prequel to "The Case," - ". . .
far and away my most successful story." (I think a review should allow an
author room for a plug, don't you?) In the world of medical research, double
blind refers to those studies where both the subject and the investigator are
"blind" to the parameters of the experiment, thereby removing bias from the
procedure. I don't think that applies to this story. Of course, there's
always the possibility that that it's there and I just don't get it.
Reading this story, I could almost hear the studied monotone of the I've-seen-
it-all Private Investigator, Steve Whiley, as he recounts this complex case,
the characters, and the twists and turns of high-tech sleuthing. However, the
just-the-facts-ma'am account doesn't lend itself to a sensuous or sexy story
telling, although Whiley's depiction of twin hermaphrodites having sex with
each other as well as the murder-victim-to-be may amuse/titillate/squick you,
depending on your views. I found it hot.
Still, this is not primarily a sex story. The sex is incidental to the
mystery, the detective work and of course, Jack Whiley P.I. himself. It's well
worth the read for that alone. (Although I must admit I'm more attracted to
Sandman's erotic, here-and-now writing.}
The details of this story are best left to the reading, for they're complex
and an integral part of the story's pleasure. It's a fast-paced adventure
that incorporates seamless geographic jumps and the mind-boggling turns of
science fiction. Check it out; it's a very good read.
Ratings for "Double Blind"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 10 (It's a murder-mystery, science-
fiction story, keep in mind.)
"Delane's Trip" by Cirsium (barn_owl@rocketmail.com). Guest review by Dave
Myers.
There are many different breeds of humor in erotica. One of the wittiest is
the self-parody, aiming to indicate that your aware your audience is
practicing one-handed reading. It takes a good writer to style a story
correctly in order to use this to full effect. When the elements of the
fantasy are clearly written in as gentle satirical props themselves, then you
know you have something good. In this narrative, it helps turn otherwise
expectable tricks of the erotica trade (e.g. brush handle love) into great
moments.
Synopsis: A woman (re)discovers masturbation and then takes a business trip,
meeting a kind stranger along the way.
The weakest (but forgivable) link in the story is fact that Delane is driven
to masturbate through conversations with her sister on the phone. This subplot
is very much undeveloped and could have been handled in any number of better
ways. Apart from this, the stage is set nicely in the text, and the encounters
that unfold are told well.
Add this one to the relatively short list of stories out there that have a
wry, satirical, self-conscious style. Only a half-dozen or so newsgroup
regulars seem to have honed this skill.
Rating: 8.5
"Trouble Maker" by John Smith (pervitron@hotmail.com). Guest review by
Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com).
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=34759679
When does "No" really mean "Oh God, Yes! Fuck me! Use me!"? Probably when
the woman's strongest sexual fantasy involves being raped and she actively
seeks out situations that will allow this to happen. This is helped by the
fact that she's drop-dead gorgeous and has a husband willing to help her in
her trouble making.
Now a good way to get raped is to dress very sexy and stand on a crowded
subway train and accidentally touch the men around you. Then your husband
sets the mood by holding you in a very suggestive position before a very
dangerous looking black man. Men after all are very simple, predictable
creatures. And of course in this story Shelly gets everything she wants; so
does her husband.
This story did one very good thing right. It stayed a fantasy just enough for
me to hold my disbelief at bay. This was no mean feat at all, given the rape,
even when softened with the fantasy-come-true excuse. Oh - a few questions
bubbled to the surface as I was reading the story, like what happens if the
men start turning on the other women in the car? Did the author really have
to insist on giving a thirteen-year-old boy a front-row-center seat for this
performance? Am I really comfortable with the message:
"The boy watched me so intently, and every few seconds he'd look up from my
ass and we'd lock eyes. We were staring at each other when Bulls came. You
see, the boy knew in his gut that I liked it, he knew I really didn't want
help. He watched me so closely. He saw the ripple of pleasure that spread
across my face when Bulls emptied himself all over the inside front of my
skirt."
Despite the suspension of disbelief, I had to wonder if this boy's first date
would be nearly so amused as Shelly was. No; with that aspect I wasn't
comfortable at all. But if you remove the boy from the story, it's actually a
very enjoyable fantasy. But since the boy and the message are an important
part of the story the final appeal suffers accordingly.
Ratings for "Trouble Maker"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7