Celestial Reviews 272 - April 4, 1998
Note: Here are some situations you may find yourself in, and the orgasms you
may encounter...
Sex in a boat - oar-gasms.
Sex with a nerd - dork-gasms.
Sex at the entrance to your house - door-gasms.
Sex on carpet or linoleum - floor-gasms.
Sex at the supermarket - store-gasms.
Sex at a Steven King Movie - horror-gasms.
Sex with a prostitute - whore-gasms.
Sex with an accountant - bore-gasms.
Sex while sleeping - snore-gasms.
Sex with 'Arthur' - Dudley Moore-gasms.
Sex with cartoon donkeys - Eyeore-gasms.
Sex while broke - poor-gasms.
Sex with a lion - roar-gasms.
Sex for hours and hours on end - sore-gasms.
Sex on a golf course - fore-gasms.
Sex with a nymphomaniac (or Ritzi) - more-gasms.
Sex in a gold mine - ore-gasms.
Sex with a dermatologist - pore-gasms.
Sex with a politician - Al Gore-gasms.
Sex with Chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers - s'more-gasms.
Sex with a bullfighter - toreador-gasms.
Sex with a masked man carrying a sword - zorro-gasms.
Sex on the beach - shore-gasms.
Sex at an all-you-can-eat buffet - smorgasbord-gasms.
Sex on a cruise ship deck - shuffleboard-gasms.
Sex in asia - Singapore-gasms.
Sex among the wonders of nature - outdoor-gasms.
Sex in the vicinity of a garbage can - odor-gasms.
Sex on the way to the train - 'All Aboard'-gasms.
Sex that wasn't very satisfying - 'There's the door'-gasms.
Sex in an adult theater - hard-core-gasms.
Sex with someone who's not paying attention - ignore-gasms.
Sex with a competitive partner - score-gasms.
Sex while flying - soar-gasms.
Sex with a beloved partner - adore-gasms.
Sex with a meat-eater - carnivore-gasms.
Sex with a person who's got a really bad hairdo - pompadore-gasms.
Sex with someone who's got bad taste in clothes - velour-gasms.
Sex while traveling - tour-gasms.
Sex with a big dog - labrador-gasms.
Sex with Beavis and Butthead - 'GonnaScore'-gasms.
Sex on stairs at the mall - escalator-gasms.
Sex with three of your friends - four-gasms.
Sex with a norse God - Thor-gasms.
Sex when resistance is futile - Borg-gasms.
Second note: Delta has posted a new story, which is reviewed below. For those
of you who don't know, Delta is one of the best authors on this newsgroup.
However, in spite of this innate genius, Delta has gone berserk and has posted
a screwball theory on a.s.s.d. about numbers and lefts and rights. Let me set
the record straight with regard to my identity. The following is a repost of
a previous dissertation describing why I am Celeste801:
Many people have expressed interest in the 801 in my AOL address. I used to
reply that I tried to get just plain Celeste but that was already taken and
the computer suggested Celeste801. Nobody believes that story, so here's the
real reason. We'll approach it backwards, which is a lot easier to
understand.
1. First, you SUBTRACT 666 (the number of the Antichrist) from 801, which
gives you 135
(801 - 666 = 135)
You subtract, of course, because most sex stories are GOOD, not EVIL (hence,
subtract 666).
2. Then you ADD 69 (the most popular number in sex stories) to 135, which
gives you 204.
(135 + 69 = 204)
You add, of course, because most of the stories I review ARE sexy.
3. Then you subtract the value corresponding to all the Roman numerals. C
and L are the only Roman numerals, and CL is 150.
(204 - 150 = 54)
The reason for doing this may be obvious to you, but I consider it to be a
secret.
4. After C and L have been removed, only E E S T E are left. There are 3
E's, and E is the Fifth letter of the alphabet. Three times five is fifteen.
In addition, S is the 19th letter of the alphabet and T the 20th. Nineteen
plus twenty equals thirty-nine. If we subtract 39 from 54, we get (incredibly
enough) 15. Fifteen is exactly the number of stories I put on my Top Fifteen
Stories List each month. More importantly the digits in 69 add up to 15. In
addition, at the time I started writing these stories 15 was the record for
the number of times my husband and I had engaged in sexual activities that
gave at least one of us an orgasm within any single week (a seven-day period,
not necessarily Sunday through Saturday, which would have yielded 12 and
ruined this whole computation. However, if we count only occasions when we
BOTH had an orgasm during a continuous sexual encounter, the seven-day record
would have been 12, which {now that I think about it} was set on December 12
somewhere around midnight during the 12th month of our marriage. I think you
can see where this line of reasoning is going.)
So that's why I'm Celeste801. This wouldn't work with any number other than
801.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Heads or Tails" by Delta (bar pick-up) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651342
"How We Spent..." by Losgud (chaotic sex) 10, 8, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340329565
"The New Carpet" by OddManOut (floor-gasms) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340329565
"But..." by Mark Aster (quickie) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340709643
"Bolero" by SandMan (from cybersex to real sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339684511
"Banana Split" by DG (island passion) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340340949
"Backdoor" by Bluelady (poetic anal sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339678483
Guest Reviews:
"Incubus" by Darkside (TG horror-gasms) 6, 10, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339286298 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339286304 02
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339640056 03
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651252 04
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651265 05
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651271 06
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651246 07
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651258 08
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651263 09
"Stolen Moments" by Watcher (love, betrayal, and revenge)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=338626903 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=338712200 02
"April Showers" by Hawkeye (voyeurism & hot sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651286
"Pussy Show" by Emerson Laken Palmer (carnival sex) 5, 6, 6
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651308 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339651143 02
"Lust Potion 69" by JRParz (Spells R Us sex) 10, 6 ,3
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340318612
"BillyG and Martina" by William G. Hayden (sex story within
sex story) 9, 8, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=171603545
"'I Spy' Teacher" by Thomas Morris (sex with student) 5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=258142469
"Pizza Man" by V.P. Viddler. {Abusive Sex} 10, 9, --
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340854233
Reposted Reviews:
* "Sister Mary Jean's Struggle" by Linda Jean (sex in the
convent) 4, 4, 4
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=288118378 (*)
(*) Repost not by author
* "Reasons" by Wollstonecraft (pregnancy & wandering)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340210592 (*)
(*) Repost not by author
* "Coercion" or "Never Too Late To Start" by
Wollstonecraft (forced sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=339678497 (*)
(*) Repost not by author
* "Meeting Amanda" by Backrub (sex with a vampire) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=179830230
* "The ECE Shop" by D.A. Ignatius (inspirational
anecdote) 10, 6, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=340340973 (*)
(*) Repost not by author
* "The Dick: Confessions of a Private Eye" by Sandman
(private detective orgies) 9, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=227056151
* "Hazy Shade of Winter" by Hawkeye (youthful romance)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=212320175 (*)
(*) Repost not by Author
* "Catalyst" by Mark Bastable (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=286326877
========================
On this day in Celestial History..
Celestial Reviews #75 - April 4, 1996
========================
* "Old Friends" by Mark Aster (ff sex & voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=188437014
* "Travels with Aunt Paula" by Estragon (female dominance)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=335269453 (*)
(*) Repost not by Author
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"Heads or Tails" by Delta (delta@nym.alias.net). "Welcome back." The phrase
occurs four times in this story. I'll say it one more time, "Welcome back,
Delta."
Several people on a.s.s.d. have already noted Delta's return from obscure
retirement. These other people assume that Delta is a man. I assume she is a
woman. Because men don't understand women as well as this this author does.
Except for M1ke Hunt and a few others maybe.
This is not Delta's best story - that would be "Strip Chess." It's not even
her second- or third-best story - those would be "The Good Neighbor" and
"Hotsprings"; but it's still a good one. It's about a man picking up a woman
in a bar. My favorite pick-up line is.... "That top is very becoming on you.
Of course if I were on you I'd be cumming too." The narrator in this story
uses a simpler but more devious strategy, based on mathematical probability,
as indicated in the story's title.
I don't know whether this technique would work in practice. Since I started
writing these reviews, I don't have time to go to bars anymore. I just
download story after story, reserve all the good ones for myself, and send the
rejects out to guest reviewers. If I can't decide, I just flip a coin.
"Welcome back, Delta."
Oh! I just remembered another good pick-up line: " Do you have a mirror in
your pocket? 'cause I've been seeing myself in your pants all night."
Ratings for "Heads or Tails"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"How We Spent" by Losgud (lushgod@hotnomail.com). There's one thing you have
to understand about this story: you can't understand it. Or to put it another
way - I know that I believe that I understand what I think this author said,
but I am not sure that I realize that what I think I understood is not what he
meant, if he meant what he thought he meant to mean.
If the preceding sentence makes sense to you, you'll enjoy this story. Even
if it doesn't make sense - you might enjoy this story, and I'm not even going
to clarify the antecedence of "it" in the first clause of this sentence.
Have you ever been blindfolded at an orgy and not had any idea what was going
on around you? Neither have I. But this story is probably the literary
equivalent.
It's probably relevant that this story is subtitled "An April Fools' Day
Presentation." Or maybe not.
Ratings for "How We Spent"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The New Carpet" by OddManOut. This story presents a problem unique in the
annals - that's right, annals - of alt.sex.stories. Ted and Carol have
copulated delightfully for two hours on the living room floor, and now they
can't figure how to discopulate without staining the new carpet. I would
think that simply placing a hand firmly on the dripping member or aperture
while running like hell either to the bathroom or to a nearby t-shirt would be
a solution, but Ted and Carol's options seem to be limited to keeping the
penis firmly implanted in the vagina. Their solution won't work. I know. I
studied physics in college. The continued increase in the quantity of fluid
in a restricted space will only increase the pressure that fluid will exert.
Well, actually, their problems are slightly more severe than I thought: Carol
doesn't want to ruin the t-shirt. Personally, I haven't had this problem. I
just use Tide on my husband's shirts, and the stains come right out.
So their only solution is to move conjointly to the bathroom, but some of the
gyrations seem destined to emit more fluid, and that emission will be followed
by an inevitable softening of the plug as well as an increase in hydraulic
pressure. I vote that they should go ahead and just cover the spot with a
potted plant.
And then there's Daisy. Don't worry! Daisy is just a dog. What part could a
dog possibly play in OddManOut's plot?
Ratings for "The New Carpet"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"But..." by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). The title refers to the second-
shortest sentence in this story. Since this story is entirely a dialogue
between two people, this sentence is also the second-shortest paragraph.
Actually, it's tied for second - with "And..." and "God!" The shortest
sentence/paragraph is "Oh!"
We can only surmise that the man in this story is Our Hero from the Allen
Sisters saga, but that assumption appears to be accurate. We don't know who
the female is - just a friend who thinks it may be wrong to make hay while the
cat's away. But....
Ratings for "But..."
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Bolero" by SandMan (sandman@bitsmart.com).
The bolero is a Spanish dance (resembling the Cachucha), characterized by
lively rhythm in 3/4 time, intricate stepping, and castanet accompaniment. The
Latin-American version is slower and simpler. In either case the dancers
perform difficult steps as couples or singly. "Bolero" is also the title of a
major orchestral work by the French composer Maurice Ravel (as well as by
several other major composers) that contains rhythms derived from the dance.
The British ice-skating team consisting of Jayne and Christopher Dean (both
born in Nottingham, England, incidentally, where Robin Hood once alienated the
sheriff) won the gold medal at the 1984 Olympics with a stirring performance
to music of 'Bolero', earning perfect scores for presentation from all judges.
Now "Bolero" has come into the mainstream culture as the title of a story by
Sandman. And while he's at it, Sandman brings us Kubla Kahn via Samuel Taylor
Coleridge. If kids weren't banned from this newsgroup, they could read this
story for homework!
Anyway, in this story Sandman meets Janey, a popular writer on this newsgroup
whom he had previously fucked in one of her stories and whose voice is sweeter
than honey, a thousand rapturous bells in perfect harmony. {I'm pretty sure
that simile comes from Nashville, not from Coleridge.} Having loved Janey from
afar, he is now seizing the opportunity (carping the diem) to love her anear!
{I'm not sure where that verbal twist came from - perhaps Garfield or
Dilbert.}
Well, anyway, Sandman uses his Internet expertise to find Janey in real life
and drops in on her at her vocational counselor's office. He keeps his
identity secret and gets her to accept an invitation to dinner. He comes
across to her as a man of means. {That's Roger Miller talking, but the full
quote is " a man of means by no means."} During dinner, he shows her his
while she shows him hers. {That's Mark Aster talking.} Then they fuck each
other's brains out during the fourth movement.
This is a very good story. You'll especially enjoy it if you are already
familiar with the writings of Sandman and Janey and with Malinov's spring
cruise and orgy.
We now return you to "My Mommy, My Lover," already in progress.
Ratings for "Bolero"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Banana Split" by DG (dionysian1@hotmail.com). This story is a contribution to
Lord Malinov's Spring Break Orgy, and will be posted there. The url for this
fun event is: http://www.gslink.com/~dcain/xanadu/erotica/island/index1.html.
This author also wrote an introduction to the orgy, entitled "A Cruise to
Remember," which explains in detail how everyone ended up on the island on
which this story takes place. You can find that story and the author's other
work at the above url or at his web site:
http://www.io.com/~thebear/dgidx.
One thing that beginners have to realize about orgies is that not everyone has
to fuck everyone else during the festivities. There are some orgyists who
like to cuddle up with just one person they love and make tender love -
possibly incorporating whatever fruit happens to be available. Hence this
story.
As I have said before, Malinov's cruise has become immensely successful. I
cannot possibly review all the stories in detail. However, I really did enjoy
this one, and I encourage you to take a look at it.
Ratings for "Banana Split"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Backdoor" by Bluelady (bluelady16@aol.com). Because poems are so different
from short stories and because reactions to poetry can be so subjective, I
hesitate to review poetry at all in Celestial Reviews. However, this author
writes extremely good poetry. The least I can do is call these poems to your
attention.
There's one obvious typo - at least I'm pretty sure it's a typo. When you
read this poem, change "got" to "god" in the line "got it was hot."
This poem/story focuses on a guy having anal sex for the first time with his
lover. The poetic format gives the description an emotional intensity that
would be unlikely to occur in a simple prose format.
Take a look at it. I think you'll like it.
Ratings for "Backdoor"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Incubus" by Darkside (Darkside@nym.alias.net). Guest review by DG.
This is a long (30k words) and complex story that intertwines elements of
horror, romance, and TG. Before going any further, let me just note that by
coincidence I have written a 30k-word story with the same title, just in case
anyone thought I was reviewing my own work.
In this story, a deranged serial killer is on the loose. One of his victims,
a young woman named Carolyn, is saved by a psychic, a young man named David,
who is able to determine where she is being held hostage. In the process of
saving her, David and Carolyn switch bodies. This rather bizarre plot twist
is handled well by the author. Before they can switch back, David and Carolyn
must come to terms with what happened to them. In particular, Carolyn is
haunted by her mistreatment at the hands of the killer. They find that they
are developing romantic feelings towards each other, which are complicated by
Carolyn's feelings for her best female friend.
There are many things I liked about this story: a complex, well-thought-out
plot, likable, three-dimensional characters, and a realistic description of
what it would be like to have a body of the opposite gender, something that
everyone wonders about. Frustratingly, the story is very sloppily written and
formatted. It reminded me one of my first drafts, when I just pour my
thoughts out onto the screen, to be whipped into shape in later editing
sessions. I find it odd that an author with so much obvious talent, who
clearly spent a lot of time and thought developing the storyline, wouldn't
want to take the time and effort to polish his work. The end result is that
although the story was compelling, the sloppy writing acted as a barrier that
kept me from enjoying it as much as I should have. I also would have
preferred some sex scenes earlier in the story, instead of having to wait
until 25,000 words in.
Darkside, I'll make a deal with you: put in the commas and section breaks
that are so sorely needed, fix some of the awkward dialogue and sentence
fragments, and I'll re-review your story and boost the ratings.
Ratings for "Incubus" by Darkside
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 10
DG (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Stolen Moments" by Watcher (llxzt@hotmail.com). This review is the personal
opinion of Kim, who can be contacted at ghost@nym.alias.net.
Well now, what we have here is a short story that happens to have some sex in
it. As such, stroke fans should probably give it a miss. Those of you looking
for some fine writing, and assured story telling would do a lot worse than
take the time to read this one. It's a goody!
A young male exec has to visit the palatial home of the company boss and her
husband. Poor John has to sit and do some paper work while the beautiful, but
enigmatic Barbara, da big boss, unknowingly teases him with glimpses of her
in her skimpy bikini, as she swims in the pool outside.
After getting her to sign some papers, so that he may return to the office,
she unexpectedly asks him to oil her back. Having done so, he is politely
dismissed. So begins John's bewilderment and search for the truth of just what
is going on in the company and, more specifically, in the mind of his
mysterious employer.
If all that makes it sound like a cross between a soap and a detective novel,
then I'm sorry, I don't mean it to. It's more a deep, and ultimately sad,
exploration of love, betrayal, and attempted revenge. I suspect that even that
description doesn't really do it justice. It's a hard story to pin down. All I
can do is recommend you read it for yourself. I doubt you'll be disappointed.
There were one or two momentary lapses in rhythm in some of the sentences, but
nothing to really worry about, plus the dreaded wrong word for the bits round
the nips <smile>. But, ultimately it's a class piece of work.
Ratings for "Stolen Moments"
Athena (technical quality): 10 (Yep!)
Venus (plot & character): 10 (deep, and reassuringly meaningful)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 10 (Outstanding; but don't go expecting
raging horniness)
"April Showers" by Hawkeye. Guest review by BillyG (hayden@mindless.com).
First, the housekeeping: "April Showers" by Hawkeye was reposted by
john_dark@anon.nymserver.com and is said to be part 4 of "Seasons" (c) 1993.
The four- or five-year-old copyright may explain why I was unable to find the
bigger story. If "April Showers" is an accurate reflection of a larger work,
it'd be worth finding. {Celestial note: I am reposting my review of "Hazy
Shade of Winter." That gives us two of the four seasons. If anybody has
Summer and Autumn, I'd sure like to see them reposted.}
Most efforts at erotica employ a device that positions the players in a
situation that allows, even encourages, sexual intimacy. Many of these
devices are hackneyed and improbable. A few border on being overworked, but
still come through, as does these vignette in a college dorm bathroom.
The protagonist, Sam, meets Julie Brauer, the girlfriend of a dorm mate, as
they're both walking to the washroom. Apprehensive of being discovered, Sam
still positions himself in an attempt to steal a flash of skin as seen through
a large mirror. He reflects a moment on his behavior, recognizing he'd be
flustered were he to be confronted with her totally nude, but admits to his
voyeuristic compulsion.
At this point, the story takes an unexpected turn, a delightful one, a
sexually intense one. And after the culmination, we're left not knowing if
this was a one-time thing, never to happen again, or the start of a larger
adventure. As such, it's a sweet, erotic slice of life that left me wanting
more.
Ratings for "April Showers"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
BillyG (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Pussy Show" by Emerson Laken Palmer (comments to: SXJAMES@AOL.COM). Guest
Review by R'khaan
This is really two stories in one. It begins with a dialog of what life is
like working in a traveling carnival and goes into some detail of how certain
games are rigged in favor of the house - after reading this part of the story,
you may never play the games at a carnival again!
After taking some time to set the stage, the author gets to the main
attraction of the first part of this story, the "pussy show," the carnival
equivalent of peep shows found in the larger cities.
The second part of this story finds our narrator, Jack, being rousted by a
local cop, known as Sharky. Sharky corners Jack and basically tells him he's
going to bust everyone in the carnival if he doesn't put on a private "pussy
show" for him. The deal here is if Jack fucks his sister, Cookie (who Sharky
saw at the pussy show), he'll let everyone go - and pay him $500. Cookie,
upon being told of the situation, objects but Jack convinces her they're
between a rock and a hard place.
Jack and Cookie meet Sharky in a local motel room where, after a few beers and
a joint, they get it on, much to Sharky's eventual delight. After Jack fills
Cookie with his seed, Sharky fulfills his end of the bargain, releasing the
carnival folks from jail and paying up the $500, which Jack promptly tells him
to keep.
This story would have gotten higher technical marks had it not been for the
numerous spelling and punctuation errors; this reviewer assumes the bad
grammar was intentional, as it lends to the flavor of the story.
Ratings for "Pussy Show"
R'khaan (technical quality): 5
R'khaan (plot & character): 6
R'khaan (appeal to reviewer): 6
"Lust Potion 69" by JRParz@aol.com . Guest review by Sandman
(sandman@bitsmart.com).
Since the author was kind enough to include a story summary I'll be kind
enough to use it: "involving transgender (male to female). The story is
called Lust Potion 69, and [I] felt it came out real good! High school boy
uses potion to transform his dream girl into the ultimate female. In order to
complete the spell, the boy takes the second part of the potion, which renders
the girl his helpless slave, but the potion has side effects......" I should
note that the story itself is actually much better written than the summary.
Now why did thoughts of Spoonbender's "The Gene", Unknown's "All Night Long",
and Garth Brook's "Unanswered Prayers" spring unbidden to my mind while I read
this story?
Actually this story is very similar to my previously reviewed "All Night
Long." In "All Night Long" a girl is raped repeatedly throughout the night,
but at least it ends -- the girl can pick up the remains of her life and move
forward, or not. In "Lust Potion 69" the girl will be effectively raped
(though outwardly she will love every minute, inside she knows what is
happening to her and will hate her antagonist -- I ask you, is this not rape?)
for the rest of her life. At sixteen her life ends. "Lust Potion 69" isn't
as graphic as "All night long" (it's hardly graphic at all, it's the IDEA the
counts here, not the act) and it uses nicer language but they're both cut from
the same cloth.
At sixteen it's an ultimate adolescent male fantasy to have an insatiable sex-
slave, a fantasy woman as horny as a sixteen-year-old boy. If such things
were possible, I'm sure sixteen-year-old boys would do it. Thus brought to
my mind the other two thoughts which preface this review. Spoonbender's "The
Gene" shows us very well what this relationship will be like when the boy is
no-longer a boy and no longer a walking erection. Spoonbender marked his
story horror. He was so right.
And finally we come to Garth Brook's "Unanswered Prayers". In this story
Jason's prayers were answered, but this story served to drive home exactly the
point Garth Brook's classic song made: sixteen-year-old boys just do not pray
for the right things.
Looking on all this it must seem that I really hated this story. In actuality
I was disappointed by this story. The story titillated but did not arouse.
The story was well written but the author submitted to the "dark side of the
force." There was the possibility of actually surprising the reader with an
unexpected twist, maybe even redeeming the story by making it a cautionary
tale (Be careful what you wish for), but the author gave it all away in the
summary. I'm a fan of summaries -- I use them in my own stories -- but never
give away a plot twist.
In short I walked away from this story shaking my head at the wasted
potential. The "Spells R Us" shop is a very interesting idea and one day a
client will probably walk out of that shop and I'll be captivated from
beginning to end (a zillion ideas spring to mind -- most of them cautionary
tales, a few of them very fun!). It would not surprise me in the slightest to
see this author appear on Celeste's top twenty or even top one-hundred one of
these days, but it won't be with this story.
Ratings for "Lust Potion 69"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 6
Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 3
"BillyG and Martina" by William G. Hayden (billyg@hooked.net). This review is
the personal opinion of Kim, who can be contacted at ghost@nym.alias.net
This isn't so much a story as an extended conversation between BillyG and,
yep, you guessed it, Martina, Billy's girlfriend.
As they lay in bed together Billy starts to tell Martina a racy story about
the exploits of a mother and her teenage son, while at the same time teasing
her (Martina) with light kisses and caresses.
She, not unnaturally, responds to his twin-pronged strategy and is soon
demanding satisfaction. What's a guy to do, under such circumstances? Well,
right, but not quite how you might have imagined. Or maybe you would?
I think it will appeal more to guys looking for semi-forbidden fruit, than it
did me. Anal sex is fine, but I think it's probably reached a status it
doesn't really deserve, due to it's frowned upon nature by many women. So
after a wonderful sweeping generalization, what did I think of it? (erm, the
story that is).
Not bad, but not great. I thought the descriptions a bit mechanical and the
dialog a bit strained at times. In fact I think I might have liked the story
of the urinating mother almost as much <shrug>.
Ratings for "BillyG and Martina"
Athena (technical quality): 9 (nothing bad, just not outstanding)
Venus (plot & character): 8 (fine, within the limited scope)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 8 (Well, I wouldn't have rolled over for
him <grin>)
"'I Spy' Teacher" by Thomas Morris (thomasmorris@mailcity.com). Guest review
by Dave Myers.
Some fantasies are fleeting because we move on to a new one. Sometimes our
sexual fantasies are fleeting because something in our minds keeps us in
check, holding us back from taboos, guilt, or pain. With any "real world"
daydream about school children, I would really hope that most people find
themselves restrained in this manner. And we find that this is also the case
for the teacher who narrates this incredibly short story.
When a very short story lacks focus, it doesn't have time to recover later on.
The confusion that rattles around in the teacher's head about the morality of
her deep dark desires gets muffled by mediocre writing when it comes to the
details. While there should certainly be room in a.s.s for more "serious"
stories which explore the guilt associated with unrequited attraction to the
young, this one engages the reader on neither the intellectual nor the
hormonal level. With major revision and expansion, the grain of an idea that
is presented in this text could be made into something quite provocative.
Rating: 5
"Pizza Man" by V.P. Viddler. Guest review by Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com).
In e-mail I once told someone that in ASS you can find stories that lift the
human soul to untold heights but you can also find stories that remind you
that genuine evil walks among us. This story falls within the latter
category.
Ginny and Bud, one might assume, are in a relationship; and Ginny pleads with
Bud to "Discipline me, darling, please. Oh god, make me do something I don't
want to do. Anything you want. Something dirty. Make me do filthy things for
you, darling. I want to, please." This apparently includes Bud hitting her
(hard) several times throughout the story as well as having her make a fat
pizza delivery guy's day.
Most of the sex is in the dialog, and a lot is left to the readers
imagination. It's a well written scene about a man whose hatred of women goes
beyond anything I've ever seen and a woman whose hatred of herself is
unrealistically remarkable. If women as punching bags and things to be used
gets you off you'll probably get off on this story. You probably won't even
question how the pizza man rather suddenly appears in the middle of the
dialog.
This isn't BDSM fantasy sex between lovers with nice little "safewords". It's
a one-sided power-trip with a little delusional spice that there are probably
women out there who would enjoy this.
Ratings for "Pizza Man"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Sandman (appeal to reviewer): --
* "Sister Mary Jean's Struggle" by Linda Jean (lindaj@cris.com). Some
interesting things do happen in this story. For example, as a 12-year-old,
the future ex-nun who narrates this story learns about sex by watching two
older girls go at it with carrots and cucumbers. {There's a whole web page of
jokes about nuns like that. Why did Sister Mary Jehosephat get kicked out of
the convent? For doing pushups in the cucumber patch. How many nuns does it
take to screw in a lightbulb? Just two; but it's difficult to get two nuns
and a cucumber inside a lightbulb in the first place. Etc. }
The basic problems with the story are that it has no coherent plot and that
it's largely illiterate. The author apparently ran it through a spellcheck;
but that just turned some of the spelling mistakes into usage bloopers. For
example, the girl watches the other girls masturbate in her "secrete place,"
which, I presume, would be a place where she oozes through the walls.
Why is this plot set among nuns? Well, because nuns have that legendary evil
innocence, I suppose. Actually, the author explains her rationale in her
disclaimer with the following non sequitur: "I want to document what has
happen to me over the last 13 years. Second- maybe some girl thinking of
becoming a nun like I did may just think twice if she finds sex to be what she
desires most in life like I do!" Go figure. I would make my pitch in defense
of nuns - actually, they are fairly normal people, etc.; but a correspondent
once told me that was like telling the late night comedians to stop telling
offensive jokes about Jehovah's Witnesses and the Amish. According to his
theory, about as many nuns are going to read this story and become offended as
Amish are going to watch Jay Leno and get offended by Amish jokes. If you
want a story that treats nuns in a sexy but literate manner, try
Wollstonecraft's "The Novice," Uncle Mike's "The Flying Nun," BillyG's "Sister
Mary Joseph," or Ann Douglas's "Sarah and Sister Theresa."
Ratings for "Sister Mary Jean's Struggle"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 4
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 4
* "Reasons" or "You're a Real Contradiction, Ain't You?" by Wollstonecraft
(an285729@anon.penet.fi). This story was inspired, in part, by an article in
Psychology Today that outlined recent theories on the female orgasm.
Don and Kathy are in love and want to have a baby together. As good luck
would have it, they are married (to each other!), but as bad luck would have
it, Don has to go out of town on business for a month just when Kathy knows
she will be most fertile. Can this happy marriage survive this trauma? I
know enough from watching "Days of Our Lives" to suspect that their marital
bliss will be disrupted. Stay tuned for the next paragraphs!
As soon as Don leaves, Kathy desperately misses him. To make matters worse,
she has just stopped taking the pill; and so she is "more responsive," as her
doctor, who displays Psychology Today along with Cosmopolitan and Readers
Digest in his waiting room, put it. So when she finds herself getting horny
watching a sexy show on television, she reaches for the vibrator and responds
happily to its stimulation. As we fade to commercial, Kathy is recovering
from the best orgasm she has had in the long week since Don has been absent.
But wait! Something's gone berserk on my mental TV screen. People are
humping, but that's not Don and Kathy! It's not even Bo and Hope or John and
Marlena and/of Kristen! It's a bunch of primitive tribesmen and women! My
mental TV screen has merged my soap opera with the Discovery Channel! I am
reminded of those days back in the library of my Catholic school when the boys
used to read National Geographic so that they could see the Naked Natives of
Namibia. But I digress. A primitive woman is describing her difficulties
getting pregnant. Not having a gynecologist or Psychology Today, she is
acting on the theory that her infertility problem arises from the fact that
her mating hole doesn't suck at her mate's skin staff the way other women's
do. Neither Doctor Ruth nor Psychology Today could put it more elegantly.
Now the story becomes a bit technical. The woman belongs to a tribe of
hunters and gatherers. While she is out gathering and her several mates are
elsewhere hunting, she is approached by a wanderer who is wandering and who
fucks her in such a way as to make her mating hole suck quite vigorously at
his skin staff. Now the men in the tribe no longer satisfy her; and the woman
begins to wander while she gathers, looking for her wandering man. The
Country Music Television channel is beginning to encroach on my already
confused mental imagery!
My mental TV image is fixed. I'm back with Kathy. She still misses Don, but
she has joined her friend Sandy; and the two of them are going to a hot night
spot together. So that they won't have to stand around waiting in line to get
in, Kathy is dressed to kill. I'm back on the familiar turf of the American
TV soap opera. The dialogue in the bar is again familiar: "Waiting for your
husband?" The stranger's voice is deep and smooth and sends shivers down
Kathy's spine. "No," she replies, aware that she might become a wanderer.
"Waiting for me, then. Come dance with me." I'm on well-known ground now -
As she spirals toward eternal damnation, Kathy again and again says no but
means yes and the stranger fucks her brains out repeatedly and they both cum
ecstatically and she's sure as hell going to be pregnant with this guy's baby.
Poor Don!
I have to talk to the cable company. We're back on the Discovery Channel
again. The aboriginal woman has wandered and has found another man with a
cock and stamina that legends are made of. He rams her so solidly that she
knows for certain that she is now with child. I have to talk to the cable
company; I am getting the picture from the Discovery Channel but the
soundtrack from the porn channel - all I hear is grunting; these people don't
even converse before or after mating. Once the guy gets her pregnant, the
woman stops showing her old enthusiasm for sex and the man leaves her. I
sense a transition back to ordinary TV.
Back to normal! Kathy is acutely aware that she has been unfaithful to Don;
but she can take consolation in the fact that this is an American soap opera
and she is now pregnant with someone else's baby. Maybe she'll move to Salem
or to Aramid. She's worried that Don will see the bruises that cover her body
and suspect something has happened. I respond mentally: "Cut the guilt trip,
honey. What do you think Donny Boy has been doing these past ten days?" But
there's good luck: Don is going to be away for two weeks longer than planned;
the bruises will heal, and he may never find out about Kathy's infidelity.
All she has to do is lie a little and sleep with him. Yeah; that always works
on the soaps. "But what about the baby?" you ask. And what if Sandy realizes
she is in love with Don and blackmails Kathy or seeks lesbian fulfillment?
That's all I'm going to tell you. You'll have to read the story yourself to
find out who has whose baby and the answers to your other questions. My
apologies to Wollstonecraft. This really is a creative story. As you can
tell from the rating, I enjoyed it immensely.
I wonder what that article in Psychology Today really said.
Ratings for "Reasons"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Coercion" or "Never Too Late To Start" by Wollstonecraft
(an285729@anon.penet.fi). The woman's husband is impotent. She has been
working with a man to whom she is attracted, and she is certain the attraction
is reciprocal. She'd love to have his baby, but nothing is likely to come of
the relationship. Then one night a burglar breaks into their workplace and
forces them to have sex while he watches. Actually, this plot sounds kind of
lame the way I tell it; but I thoroughly enjoyed this story.
Ratings for "Coercion"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Meeting Amanda" by Backrub. Here we have what my psychology professor
referred to as an approach-avoidance dilemma. (When the prof told us about
it, she talked about pigeons; but I'm pretty sure I still have the idea
right.) I had never read a Backrub story I _didn't_ like; but I had never
read a vampire story that I _did_ like. The tension alone, of course, would
have made a less sophisticated woman cum in her panties; but I was wearing
none. Therefore, I boldly went where I had never gone before....
What I like most about Backrub is his/her use of language and imagery: "From
twenty feet away she looked like a living statue, weathered brown but taut and
strong. Her short black hair barely moved with her movements." That's
beautiful. The yet unknown woman was coming to life for me, but remaining
mysterious. The imagery remained vivid as the story got hotter. To find out
more, you'll have to read the story. I still don't plan to look for vampire
movies, but I do plan to read more Backrub stories. And for some reason I
just remembered it's about time for me to give blood again.
Ratings for "Meeting Amanda"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The ECE Shop" by D.A. Ignatius (jash@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu). One of my
favorite songs is "Do You Know You Are My Sunshine?" by the Statler Brothers.
It tells of a singer leaning down from the stage to accept a request from a
concert goer; and the young woman says, "Do you know 'You Are My Sunshine?'
and would you play it one time more for me?" The young woman's smile changes
the singer's life, even though she is gone "as fast as the song that she asked
for," taking his sunshine away. And so, as the singer goes "border to border
and ocean to ocean," he's constantly "searching the crowds for her face," so
that he'll get one chance to say to her, "Do you know you are my sunshine, and
won't you do it one more time for me?"
It's a corny story, but it runs exactly parallel to this one, in which a young
woman's outlook on life is changed by the briefest encounter with a stranger.
There's no explicit sex at all in this story or in my song; but I hope you can
see how something like this can revolutionize one's sex life. I know that I
myself have had a similar experience. I'm not going to tell you the details,
because that would definitely blow my anonymity.
One of the reasons I think I keep teaching my classes and writing these
reviews is that I hope I can return the favor by passing on a similar
experience to someone else. I like to think that without even knowing exactly
when it happens I can help just one or two people feel as much better about
themselves as I do or as the narrator of this story does as result of our
encounters. As far as I'm concerned that outlook on life does more good than
most organized religions.
This is the fourth story in the DarkNites series. It is NOT a great story,
because it really doesn't go anywhere. But it IS a great story because it
reminded me of so much that has been important to me. Read it for general
inspiration; and then read another story for a specific turn-on.
After reviewing the first four DarkNites stories, I have finally managed to
contact the author; and so I no longer have to label her as Unknown Author.
She maintains a WWW home page where the entire DarkNites and Immortality (new
work) series can be found. The address is
http:\\falcon.cc.ukans.edu\~lafemme\darknite.htm.
Ratings for "The ECE Shop"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The Dick: Confessions of a Private Eye" by Sandman (bd654@scn.org).
Somebody posting from an address beginning with "parapuke" has been reposting
some extremely good stories. The only problem I see with these reposts is
that the titles have sometimes been slightly changed and the names of the
authors have been deleted. For example, although this one was labeled "The
Dick - A Private Eye's Story" the original title was "The Dick: Confessions of
a Private Eye," and it was written by a person who called himself Sandman.
Aside from some grammatical and stylistic errors, this is an extremely good
story; and the author deserves his credit. PLEASE! If you repost stories,
give credit to the original authors.
Here's my original review.
Many, many years ago, a sweet old nun was making a genuine effort to enliven
her English class by showing some films of classic movies. This was in the
days before VCRs were available in all classrooms. She rolled out her 16 mm
projector and showed the film that she had obtained for free from the public
library. I forget what that film was; but after it was over, the sweet old
nun said, "And if you're all good, Friday I'll show you "The Bank Dick." A
titter ran through the room. {That sentence itself is a punchline to a joke;
but we shall not digress at this time.} The nun called on a young student -
in fact, an A student who would later become an English teacher and reviewer
of smutty stories, but who {That's right, "who" - this is a complex thought.}
- but who the sweet old nun secretly hoped would become a sweet young nun -
she called on this young student in front of the whole class and asked her to
kindly explain what was so funny. At first the student evaded the issue with
clever responses like, "Nothing" and "I don't know." However, the silly grins
that the other students were urged to wipe off their faces - along with the
titter that kept running through the class - caused the sweet old nun to
persist; and eventually the student replied, "Sister, I think 'dick' is a
vulgar term that refers to the male penis." The grins quickly disappeared;
and the titter came to a halt; and the student discovered the meaning of the
metaphor "killing the messenger."
The sweet old nun called my mother that evening and told her that I "knew
things that no good girl should know." As I stood in the kitchen listening to
the phone call, I came to a new understanding of the metaphor "scared
shitless." My mother responded, "Thank you, sister. I think perhaps you had
better pray for her." Then she hung up the phone, looked at me sternly, shook
her head sadly, and said, "Nuns can be weird sometimes. You did fine."
To this very day I don't know how the term "dick" became applied to these
disparate concepts; but I still get a silly grin that has to be wiped off my
face whenever I hear the d-word applied to a private eye.
Anyway, this is not your ordinary "interracial" sex story. Bernard, the black
stud, sports a simple five-incher, rather than the usual monster cock. He
also has a problem with premature ejaculation, which his red-headed, white
girlfriend handles sympathetically. The private detective has been hired by
Bernard's black wife with a great ass to get the dirt on Bernie, so that she
can dump him and make off with his money. The detective, of course, becomes
enamored with his client; and then, of course, he also becomes enamored with
the husband's mistress, who has the most incredible tongue this dick has ever
come across. {Sometimes I suspect that some of these double meanings are
intentional.}
To make a long story short, the ladies meet and hit it off together. Some of
the racial epithets are not politically correct; but then these ladies are not
politicians. Although Sheila is a redhead of apparent European ancestry, she
is conversant with African American literature, as we can see from this
excerpt addressed to her new dark-skinned friend:
"You have the most beautiful ass in the whole world. I should know, I just
tasted it. Your asshole tastes so great. Please don't spank me for my
comments. But whatever you do, don't ram one of the dildos in my dresser up
my cunt while spanking me. That would hurt even more. I never want to feel
such pain ever again." Br'er Rabbit couldn't have said it better.
The story is chockfull of surprises and wonderful events: crescendos,
blowjobs, puckered and gaping assholes, wad after wad shooting across
cyberspace, and even a double underwater blow job in the bathtub at 5:00 a.m.
All of this is described in the objective tone and with the metaphors typical
of a detective in a dime-novel or B-movie.
Near the end of the story (in the pre-ante-penultimate paragraph, to be
precise), we find these lines: "These two beautiful bodies, lying against one
another, were now facing me in such a way that I could see their four holes
lined up in a line: asshole, cunt, cunt, asshole. It was a beautiful and
erotic sight. I paused to consider my situation, scratching my balls in the
process." Writers of detective stories always talk like this.
And antepenultimately: "If you can't lick 'em, fuck 'em!"
OK. Just in case you don't know the joke that goes with that punchline, here
it is. The ladies of the church society had arranged to have the children act
out the Christmas play as the script was being read to the congregation.
{There's a whole lot more that can be added here. Use your creative
imagination.} Right after the cute little kid appeared while the angel
talking to the shepherds, another cute little boy ran through the assembled
worshippers and rapidly fondled all the women's breasts. The minister jumped
to his feet and shouted, "What in the HELL is going on here!" The director
waved the script in front of him and said, "It says right here in parentheses
in the script you gave me: 'A titter runs through the congregation.'" Or
something like that.
Ratings for "The Dick"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Hazy Shade of Winter" by Hawkeye. This story must have been around for a
while; it's a repost from the THC archive and has a 1993 copyright, but I have
never seen any stories by this author before. This story read like a short
version of a Dirty Dawg story. I mean that as a very real compliment.
Sam was attracted to Lisa when she flipped into his life; that is, he thought
she was beautiful because of the cute way she flipped her hair out of her
eyes. They became close friends as they worked together, mopping rancid beer
and sharing other intimacies. However, since she was already committed to
another boyfriend, he loved her from afar. Well, you can guess where this is
going, and you'll probably be right; but you should read this excellent story
anyway.
Ratings for "Hazy Shade of Winter"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Catalyst" by Mark (MarkB@aboy.demon.co.uk). {Someone has reposted this
story by Mark Bastable. Actually, ALL the stories by this author are
exceptional. If you want to see reviews of all of them, check CR 232. If you
want to do us all a service, find this author and give him the name of a story
that begins with "L," because that's where he stopped in his Alphabet Series.}
A reader clipped this story and sent it to me with his recommendation. I want
to thank that reader. This is an excellent story by an author I have never
read before.
In chemistry class we learned that a catalyst is a substance, usually used in
small amounts relative to the reactants, that modifies and increases the rate
of a reaction without itself being consumed in the process. Through metaphor,
the term also refers to a person who precipitates a process or event,
especially without being involved in or changed by the consequences. That's
the role of this story's narrator, who observes a freshman girl at a party
lusting after the hunk across the room. The narrator has two problems: (1) to
bring the two together so that they can fulfill their mutual urges and (2) to
do so in such a way as to be able to watch their hot interaction. I'd tell
you more, but it will be more fun for you to find out the rest for yourself.
The author is posting these as part of an "Alphabet Series." I plan to look
for more stories in this series.
* "Travels with Aunt Paula" by Estragon. Paula is the guardian for her ten-
year-old nephew, the child of her deceased sister. Since she generally
requires Cal to appear naked in her presence, we might suspect that she is a
dirty old woman. Not true! Paula's every desire toward Cal is indeed
maternal, even her long-established insistence on his naked humility. It is
all for his own good. She has always known in her heart that a worshipful man
is a happy man; and an adored and well-served woman is happier still. All she
wants for her sweet nephew is as much happiness as a life of early sorrow can
still afford.
We learn several important Hidden Truths from the Feminist Catechism - a few
things that make one go "Hmmmm." For example, why does it feel good for a boy
to have his penis become hard? Answer: Because the erection shows that the
nearby female has power over him, and it's good to be honest and respectful in
that way. We also witness a detailed description of circumcision - that
sacrament (best conferred when young girls are holding the boy's legs apart)
which is designed to humiliate and shame a young boy and to enable him to find
his place in the world designed for women.
After his circumcision, young Cal became popular with the local girls, many of
whom had been present at his gala circumcision and who had told their friends
that here was a lad who was willing to become obediently naked for
instructional or conversational purposes. They could ask him questions about
his boy things and even touch them if they wanted. His aunt didn't mind at
all, and nobody even knew whether he did. Nobody asked him. Nobody really
cared. The girls who heard all this said it was incredible but they'd believe
it when they saw it. Cal had many visitors.
The censors might be suspicious of this story - thinking, for example, that
there is something unseemly in the idea of an 11-year-old girl gazing at and
touching the newly circumcised penis of a 6-year-old boy. That would be the
perception of a person with a filthy mind; most readers of this story will
easily see that this is simply an example of a lower-order member of the
species offering his genitalia as an educational tool for a young member of
the Super Race. For, as every British schoolgirl knows (with apologies to
Thomas Babington Macaulay), "The battle of the sexes is lost before it even
begins. Ladies just happen to enjoy being reminded of this fact."
Like most of Estragon's writing, this story is a fictionalized version of a
feminist philosophical tract. Some readers will find the ideas a bit
exaggerated or even bizarre. "Who could ever believe crap like this?" they'll
say. Well, my old Aunt Emma, for one. I escaped from her clutches long ago
(I think). She's dead now and can no longer reach me (I hope). But she had
these weird ideas about religion that ran exactly parallel to Aunt Paula's
sexual theories. Aunt Emma's books did not emphasize physical circumcision or
sexual humiliation - just spiritual versions of the same themes. I haven't
looked at the "Imitation of
Christ" lately - and I doubt that it's high on the reading list of most a.s.s.
readers - but my recollection is that it seriously argues that humans become
more perfect by becoming better slaves of God. My point is that if otherwise
sensible people have been known to apply this dominance/slavery theory to the
relationship between God and humankind, it should hardly be surprising to see
it applied to the relationship between men and women.
Estragon writes extremely well, and this is another good story. Every time I
sit down at my computer to review one of Estragon's stories, I say to myself,
"This female dominance stuff is nonsense. I want men to be my equals, not my
slaves." Then, as I read the outlandish but interesting events in the story,
I find myself realizing that there's a huge kernel of truth behind what
Estragon is saying.
Ratings for "Travels with Aunt Paula"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10