Celestial Reviews 269 - March 25, 1998
Note: A woman starts dating a married doctor. Before too long, she becomes
pregnant, and they don't know what to do. About nine months later, just about
the time she is going to give birth, a priest goes into the hospital for a
prostate gland infection.
The doctor says to the woman, "I know what we'll do. After I've operated on
the priest, I'll give the baby to him and tell him it was a miracle."
"Do you think it will work?" she asks the doctor.
"It's worth a try," he says. So the doctor delivers the baby and then operates
on the priest. After the operation he goes in to the priest and says, "Father,
you're not going to believe this. You gave birth to a child."
"But that's impossible!"
"I just did the operation," insists the doctor. "It's a miracle! Here's your
baby."
About fifteen years go by, and the priest realizes that he must tell his son
the truth. One day he sits the boy down and says, "Son, I have something to
tell you. I'm not your father."
The son says, "What do you mean, you're not my father?"
The priest replies, "I'm your mother. The archbishop is your father."
Second note: Becky was on her deathbed, with her husband Jake at her side. As
he held her cold hand, tears silently streamed down his face. Her pale lips
moved.
"Jake," she said.
"Hush," he quickly interrupted, "don't talk."
But she insisted. "Jake," she said in her tired voice. "I have to talk. I
must confess."
"There is nothing to confess," said the weeping Jake. "It's all right.
Everything's all right."
"No, no. I must die in peace. I must confess, Jake, that I have been
unfaithful to you."
Jake stroked her hand. "Now Becky, don't be concerned. I know all about it,"
he sobbed. "Why else would I poison you?"
Third note: "Something Borrowed" looks like a story that is worth reviewing,
but it's very long, and I don't have time to do it myself. Because of its
length, I am also hesitant to ask one of my guest reviewers to review it. Is
there anyone out there willing to take a shot at giving this story an
objective review? If so, please contact me.
Fourth note: There were some typos in CR 268. The "review" of "And Now,
Introducing..." was incoherent scribbling that was left there by mistake. In
addition, "Bimmy; had contradictory ratings. The actual ratings should have
been 9, 9, 9.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"And Now, Introducing..." by Mattemeo (sex with dead wife)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=334433264
"The Girl Behind the Fantasy" by Mary Anne Mohanraj (sex
fantasies) 10, 10, 10
(Not Archived. See Mary Anne's website at
http://www.iam.com/maryanne)
"Weird" by Frank McCoy (incest) 9, 6, 3
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=272828847
"Revelations" by Sven the Elder (expiatory menage a trois)
10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336298243
"Mike" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (incest) 9, 8, 7
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=335643001
"Orange Bird Flies Twice" by FortyHeavn (cross-cultural romance)
10, 8, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=334055970
"A Three-Day Cruise" by DG (orgy at sea) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336640243
"Dinner at Six - The Picnic" by Krieg Lite (hedonistic romance &
adolescent sex) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=251936986 (Reviewed)
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=255399957 (Complete)
Guest Reviews:
"Making Sacrifices" by Jove (romance & trust) 10, 10, 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=335050924
"Deep Dank" by Cameron Bragg (group sex) 5, 3, 3
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=335894937
"Andrea's Submissive Ass" by Wyvern (bdsm) 9, 7, 5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336058530
"Fishing Trip in the Rockies" by Charles Thain (outdoor sex) 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=329250707
"Rodney's Education" by Steve Getto (a boy and his sorceress)
8.5, 4.5, 6.0
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=334193948
"Eternal Youth" by Drow Elf (unending sex) 10, 7, 5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=334660348
"My Cousin Michelle" by Danny (incest) 9.5, 8, 6
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=335065838
"My Weekend in Portland" by Charles Thain (Tender/Hot D/S sex)
10, 8, 8
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937279 01
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937287 02
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937292 03
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937300 04
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937309 05
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937318 06
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937325 07
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937321 08
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937328 09
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937330 10
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937333 11
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937336 12
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937339 13
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937342 14
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=328937345 15
Reposted Reviews:
*"Fruit of the Vine" by Wollstonecraft (rough first time sex)
9.5, 9.5, 9.5
http://search.dejanews.com/getdoc.xp?AN=336316123
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"And Now, Introducing..." by Mattemeo (mattemeo@hotmail.com). The story begins
with Robert Weitekamp drunk in his basement. As she usually does when he gets
in these moods, his wife has gone out and left him alone. It seems he's still
stressed out over the death of his former wife and just can't get over her.
But then he hears his wife coming into the house. But wait; it's not her -
it's his first wife! She has come back to fuck his brains out one last time
and to tell him that it's OK to go on with his life.
But what's all that got to do with the title: "And Now, Introducing..."?
Hmmm... If you knew that you'd know the whole story.
This was a short but very good story. I really enjoyed it.
Ratings for "And Now, Introducing..."
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Girl Behind the Fantasy" by Mary Anne Mohanraj
(moh2@rainbow.uchicago.edu). I haven't reviewed a story by this author in a
long time. She recently sent three to me, and I'll review one in each of the
next three issues of CR. I presume the author will post the stories around
the time I review them.
This one is impossible to summarize. Let me just say that it contains well-
written, sexy, summaries of something like fourteen sexual fantasies, loosely
integrated under the theme of fantasies being told to a male from a female
viewpoint. That may sound like nothing more than what I do in these reviews;
but let me assure you, it is.
Ratings for "The Girl Behind the Fantasy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Weird" by Frank McCoy (mccoyf@millcomm.com). Grandma had just recently
passed away, and at the ripe ole age of 45 Grandpa was feeling kinda lonely.
So he moved in with the grandkids, and soon the narrator found herself sharing
her bed with him. This may seem unusual, but not under the circumstances -
the house had no doors on any rooms and everybody wandered around the house
naked.
It all started when Mother came into the narrator's room with Grandpa in tow,
cleared her throat, and told 12-year-old Sherry that "Grandpa is going to
teach you about sex so you'll know what it feels like," just as if she was
having him show her how to change a light bulb. Mom and L'il Sis pretty much
just watched.
Which brings us to the question: How many perverts in an incestuous family
does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer: Just two, but you need a
really big light bulb for them both to fit inside.
Ya gotta give Pa credit. He never fucked his daughter. Whenever he got
turned on by knowledge that Sherry was getting knocked up by Gramps, he just
went into the other room (sans door) and fucked Ma. Unless of course he was
on his way to work during the grandpa/granddaughter festivities, in which case
he would just give Sherry a quick little kiss and wink at Gramps - well, as
quick a kiss as you can give while slipping her a lot of tongue.
Sherry had either three or four kids by Grandpa before she went off to
college, which seems to have happened when she was around 15 years old. I
know the math seems difficult, but it's really kinda impressive to think that
maybe fucking with Grandpa had something to do with making Sherry into a child
prodigy.
Now, to be honest, by the time I got to the end of the story, I was bored. I
left out a lot of the details - about Gramps fucking L'il Sis and eventually
marrying his own daughter who was also his granddaughter, I think. But then
came the surprise ending: the author announced in a sort of postscript that
this had been a mind control story, and he challenged us (the readers) to try
to guess what the power was and who was exercising it.
At this point, I said to myself, "Bullshit! This author can go and fuck
himself!" Then it occurred to me.... Maybe that's the right answer to his
puzzle.
This was a weird story.
Ratings for "Weird"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
"Revelations" by Sven the Elder (sventheelder@hotmail.com). "Christ, Fran,
what are you doing?" Sven asks; "I'm trying to be a gentleman, and you're
making it very hard." Very hard indeed. Fran has been a widow for about
fifteen years, while Sven and Pam have been her close friends. Now Pam has
sent Sven over to Fran's house to give her a hand, and Fran seems interested
in more than a hand or two birds in her bush.
Seduction being inevitable, Sven relaxes and enjoys it. But isn't he being
disloyal to the pulchritudinous but proper Pam? Well, no; she's part of the
plan. Pam the Prude of the Parish has recently at Fran's invitation been in
the sack with Ben of the Baloney Pony with whom she crossed her Rubicon. To
make amends to Sven, Pam has offered him to Fran, and now she has come to make
sure her atonement has been satisfactory.
I guess this beats a simple apology and a month's worth of groveling. This is
an old story, but Sven tells it very nicely.
Ratings for "Revelations"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Mike" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (posted by Sxjames@aol.com). For Kimberly Mike
has been not only brother and babysitter, but also her applied sex educator.
Whereas Mom has told Kimberly that tickling herself in the nasty spot is
dirty, Mike has been most agreeable about helping her with her finger
dexterity and has even given her access to his own naughty ticklish spot.
Mike has been responsible for most of the tingling in which Kimberly's body
has engaged in its young lifetime.
At various times Mike makes abortive attempts to reform, but each time
Kimberly explains to him what a good big brother he is or fondles his cock,
and Mike resumes his industrious instruction. Mike makes some fundamental
biological mistakes. For example, he confuses sperm with semen and he probably
doesn't know a zygote from a gamete. In addition, he makes a classical post
hoc error when he downloads a picture of a woman sucking on a guy's cock and
explains to Kimberly that the woman got those big ticks by sucking the guy's
penis. However, Mike manages to cover the basics with Kimberly pretty well,
and before long she's an accomplished pre-teen slut. And hey! Maybe Mike was
right: Kimberly's breasts DID seem to get bigger and better after she started
having sex with Mike regularly.
The grammar in this story is deliberately bad, to simulate the written
expression of an 11-year-old non-rocket-scientist. This sort of style can be
difficult, but the author brings it off nicely. The trick is to appear to be
a bit on the less-than-eloquent side while still being clear about what's
going on.
The story ends with this disclaimer: "The purpose of this story was to make
the reader aware of the problems and traumas caused by incest and be aware of
its physical and emotional effects on young people." That's a valid point,
and I am happy to know that the author doesn't think kiddy incest is a good
thing. However, I really don't think the story succeeded in having the impact
the author described. In fact, unless a person read the disclaimer or had a
prior insight (based on moral principles or real-life experience) that the
activities described in the story were potentially harmful, that person would
likely conclude that the author intended this to be a story of the fun-filled
activities that can occur when children grow up in a laissez-faire sexual
environment.
Ratings for "Mike"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Orange Bird Flies Twice" by FortyHeavn (fortyheavn@aol.com). There are some
things that send up negative flags when I sit down to review a story. In this
case Strike One (if I may mix my metaphors) was the fact that the author had
the title wrong. It was listed as " Orange Bird Flies Twice" in the header
but as "An Orange Bird Flew by Twice" at the top of the story. I ignored that
problem and sent it out to a guest reviewer. Strike Two came when the guest
reviewer sent it back, stating that he/she did not want to give the story a
bad review.
But heck, the second sentence - which was 142 words long - really did catch my
attention, and so I decided to review the story myself.
It all began (as the title suggested) when the woman saw an orange bird fly
past the garden, and the man got up to look at it. As I read the story, I was
stuck by the effective use of language and imagery. "Assuming a story
develops," I told myself, "this isn't bad at all."
The first third of the story consists mostly of summaries of Our Heroine's
previous love affairs. The descriptions are a bit more introspective than I
like - I prefer action to passive descriptions - but they were not bad -
assuming a story develops. {I am writing this review as I go along. I sure
as hell hope a story develops.}
Well, a story DID develop. I thought it was pretty good. It was still more
introspective than I would like, but many readers enjoy that sort of thing. I
was reminded of E.M. Forster's style, but maybe only because we were dealing
with a contemplative collision of European and Indian cultures. My only
complaint with the story was that while it talked about passion, it really
didn't convey this passion to me. But heck, I needed a break!
Ratings for "Orange Bird Flies Twice"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"A Three-Day Cruise" by DG (with lots of help from The Bear)
(dionysian1@hotmail.com).
One of Lord Malinov's roles in life is to coordinate imaginary orgies on
a.s.s. His recent winter solstice orgy took place in a castle, and the vernal
equinox is currently being celebrated aboard a cruise ship and on a nearby
island. I don't know all the rules, but it looks like whoever feels the urge
can just write and post a story focusing on some aspect of the festivities.
The present story can serve as a sort of a kick-off to the series - or as a
climax, if you're already further along.
Anyway, the S. S. Sybarus is a sort of Love Boat, hosting an Erotic Writers
Workshop; and surprise! Many of the people on the cruise are people whom we
know from alt.sex.stories.
Let me just point out that I do NOT think it is necessary to restrict yourself
to authors if you decide to contribute a story. You can probably get by with
mixing fictional characters with "real" people. For example, Sandman can
finally get a piece of ass from one of the Allen sisters.
The story is surprisingly low on explicit sex, and so people who know nothing
about the authors who most frequently post stories to a.s.s. may become bored
- kind of like a person who knows nothing about mythology or the bible might
feel while reading the non-Classics Illustrated version of Paradise Lost -
except, of course that even people who know a great deal about Greek mythology
and the bible feel the same way about Paradise Lost - and, of course, I have
promised to stop picking on Milton because the poor guy was blind and a
million British schoolmasters can't have been wrong, even if they can't
sustain an erection long enough to put out a candle with the meager amount
of.... But I digress....
This was a thoroughly delightful story - but only if you are already familiar
with the authors who are mentioned as participants in this cruise. If that
description doesn't fit you, no problem: just go out and read as many stories
as possible by these authors and then come back to this story. Along the way,
you'll become a very happy person.
Ratings for "A Three-Day Cruise"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Dinner at Six - The Picnic" by Krieg Lite (critic@anon.nymserver.com). This
is actually Chapter 5 of "Jenny," which has who-knows-how-many chapters.
Normally I get pissed off when I open what I think is a story and discover
that somebody has foisted off on me a single chapter from the middle of a
longer story: usually such excerpts just start nowhere and go even more
nowhere. But this time I had no choice. As I read this story and write this
review on my laptop computer, my students are seated in front of me taking a
test; and I need something to do while they write their essays, secure in
their knowledge that their teacher is contacting the Smithsonian on the
Internet or something like that. Besides, the first hundred lines of the
story have successfully caught my attention.
What struck me as unfortunate about this story is that the author seems to
think it essential that Jenny be a very young teenager. Stories about child
molestation are usually a turn-off to me, and so as I read the beginning of
the story, I just chose to believe that the hot chick in the shower with the
narrator was of legal age. Given that assumption, it was a really hot scene.
What I think is unfortunate is that the author assumes that something is
GAINED by having the sexy episode be with a very young teenager.
The basic plot (continued from previous chapters) seems to be that Larry is
hot for Helen, whose two children are also hot for Larry. After a rousing
game of Monopoly with Helen, Jenny, and Ashleigh (apparently Jenny's sleepover
friend), Larry is invited to spend the night in the guest room, so that they
can get off to an early start for their picnic in the mountains the next day.
Nothing happens all night long.
So when Larry takes Ashleigh home the next evening, she says: "Anyway, Larry,
I would really like the chance to do it before Jenny tries to teach me. And
since that's going to happen tomorrow afternoon, do you suppose that you could
come in and let me try it now?" The narrator adds that he "could her the
tension in her voice, and I could feel it in my entire body."
Now, in spite of my personal predilections against kiddysex, I have to admit
that this was a good chapter. In fact, based on what I have seen here, I
would bet that they whole "Jenny" story is pretty good. If in real life it
were possible for barely pubescent kids to innocently acquire sexual
sophistication by fucking with a kindly ole guy who is dating Mom in between
watching Jeopardy and playing Monopoly, the world probably wouldn't be a bad
place to live. The girls simply would not have to go to British boarding
schools in order to become those delightful young ladies who enrich society
and perform brain surgery. The problem in real life, of course, is that this
sort of arrangement is really, really unlikely to work out. Little girls with
these feelings should almost certainly seek outlets somewhere else, and grown
men that think they can perform this service are almost certainly lying to
themselves.
But granted that this is a fantasy, it's a pretty good fantasy.
Ratings for "Dinner at Six - The Picnic"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Making Sacrifices" by Jove. Guest reviewed by Poison Ivan
(poisoniv1@hotmail.com). Miss J's stories are available at
http://www.cadvision.com/buis/jove/place.html.
Amy has problems. Jonathon is an all-right guy, but Amy can't stand to have
him touch her in an intimate way. And Jonathon is fed up with waiting. And
Amy is furious that he's fed up. And Amy suddenly finds herself abandoned in
a sleazy part of town. Fortunately, Jonathon's older brother Dean lives
nearby, so Amy pays Dean an unexpected late night visit.
Amy is comfortable with Dean; Dean is open to listening; and Amy needs to get
something off her chest. Eventually the explanations come out, and some of the
details are ugly, ugly, ugly. Many tears are shed, and for good reason.
Amy's is not a pleasant story.
Dean, being the sensitive guy that he is, volunteers to restore Amy's trust in
the male sex, and there follows a long, slow, careful love-making scene,
complete with stops and starts and awkward moments. When barriers are finally
broken, the action heats up, and the sex is a very tender and very hot.
This story was first posted a couple weeks ago, and that version had quite a
few technical problems, but most of those have been fixed in this latest
posting. The Dean character was just a tad too sensitive for my tastes, but
that is a minor complaint. "Making Sacrifices" is a very nice story about the
importance of trust, and the damage that can happen when trust is violated. I
highly recommend this story.
Ratings for "Making Sacrifices"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Ivan (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Deep Dank" by Cameron Bragg (cdbragg@ozemail.com.au). Guest review by Pulp
Fan.
"Deep Dank" purports to be the true story, a la "Penthouse Letters," of a
group of three men who hook up with four waitresses from a cafe (or, as the
author spells it, cafi), for some hot tub sex. If this story were true, each
of these gentlemen should contact Guiness, as they each cum probably close to
a dozen times within two or three hours and always remain hard. Ah, the
resiliency of youth!
The writing style is very stiff, particularly at the beginning, and the author
compounds his lack of polish by telling the story in the first person, a
difficult tense for a writer to do correctly. On the plus side, there really
aren't _that_ many spelling errors; just the occasional missing word and an
awkward way of phrasing things. The tale itself is straight male adolescent
masturbatory fantasy--the women never speak, are able to literally rip men's
pants off in order to get at the throbbing dicks they crave, are hyper-sexed
and insatiable, and are not identified by name but, rather, by attribute. "I
noticed Bob had disappeared and I looked around to find him with one fist up
the Greek girl's arse, and big breasted girl sucking his cock." In addition
to these two babes, there's also "unattractive girl" and a virgin "goddess".
Oh yeah, and the mother of unattractive girl gets into the mix too, mesmerized
by Phil's manliness, when she discovers the hi-jinx going on in the hot tub.
I like well-written group sex stories, but this one is so unbelievable, it's
probably of interest only to diehard fans of the genre.
Ratings for "Deep Dank":
Athena (technical quality): 5
Venus (plot & character): 3
Pulp Fan (appeal to reviewer): 3
"Andrea's Submissive Ass" by Wyvern. Guest Review by DG.
This story, as you may have already gleaned from the title, isn't for
everyone. It's a short, hard-core SM scene between a submissive woman and her
master. Oops, I mean her MASTER. The actions that are performed would, in
real life, fall somewhere between excruciatingly painful and life-threatening.
So is there anything to recommend about a story that describes a degrading,
painful act perpetrated on a bound, helpless woman? Well, yes. This story
has a straightforward sexual intensity about it that makes a definite
impression. If a sexual relationship where one partner has utterly submitted
control to the other appeals to you, and you're not easily squicked by
anatomically improbable penetration, you will probably find this worth
reading. I can't honestly say that I enjoyed it, but I think that many people
would, and I think I've said enough about the story so that those people know
who they are.
Ratings for "Andrea's Submissive Ass"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 7
DG (appeal to reviewer): 5 (For some it will be a lot higher)
"Fishing Trip in the Rockies" by Charles Thain. Guest review by Dave Myers.
This author takes a straight-ahead approach to a lavish male fantasy. That
doesn't mean there aren't some interesting variations along the way. There are
quite erotic moments, and the female characters are less of caricatures than
most stories you will read on the newsgroups.
Synopsis: A man is camping alone when he runs into three beautiful German
women in the mountains. The women can't seem to control themselves and two of
them throw their bodies upon him.
In a refreshingly different storyline, the third woman is uninterested in the
goings-on of the other campers. The author's treatment of her predicament (an
ankle injury) is unexpected and adds credibility to the plot. In his
fantasyland, the guy is the cavalier hero for treating her injury at a time of
crisis, but unfortunately, this development comes off in a very slightly
patronizing way. Still, it's HIS fantasy, so I can only argue so much, as this
doesn't interfere with the plot or the sex.
Also refreshing is the fact that the lucky guy gets his way with both women
(sometimes simultaneously, sometimes not), but the author doesn't stray into
the trite bisexual possibilities that most stories on the newsgroups exhibit
under similar circumstances. Call this a PWOR (pitiful waste of resources) if
you want, but I'm thankful.
I won't spoil the final twist, even though we're not talking about real
suspense here. Charles Thain manages to hold it together nicely and delivers
an enjoyable entry. His only previous story (to my knowledge) has been the
monolithic "My Weekend In Portland", which was rambling in comparison to this
little gem.
Rating: 8
"Rodney's Education" by Steve Getto (sorceress@darktower.edu.au). Guest
review by jubjub.
Story Summary: Boy and a Sorceress.
This is an interesting story and it has distinct possibilities. However, as it
is written, it isn't anything special. I must admit, though, that the sexual
descriptions do get a response.
Technically, there are a number of small spelling and grammar errors, but the
greatest deduction was for the lack of flow. The sentences seemed, at times,
stilted. But, overall, the technical aspects were quite acceptable.
Considering that this is Part 1, I won't complain a lot about a lack of plot
and character. However, even an opening chapter should set up some character
depth and give the reader an idea of how the story will unfold. We know
nothing about these characters other than the profession and a vague idea of
their age. Worse, there is nothing in this story to suggest that it will
unfold as nothing more than a predictable dominatrix story--even with the
sorcery.
There is considerable sexual description but little actual sex. The scene
that ends Part 1 is what gives me the hope that as this series continues, the
author can continue with inventive sexual descriptions. I hope that this
invention will extend to both the setting and the sexual acts described. If
so, this series will definitely be one to keep on eye on.
Ratings for "Rodney's Education"
Technical: 8.5 Easy to follow sentences but lacks a distinct style
Characterization and Plot: 4.5 Reads more like an idea for a story
Personal Appeal: 6.0 The writer seems inhibited. A more
mysterious style would help.
"Eternal Youth" by Drow Elf (from the Bookman Archives). Review by Stephen
Peters (Sxjames@aol.com).
One of the interesting things about being a reviewer is that I get drafted to
read stories I would never have bothered with on my own. Take this tale for
example. The story codes read (Mm, MF, historical), and to those I would add
"spank" and "magic(?)". Not exactly my cup of tea -- but I charged in anyway,
hoping for a pleasant surprise. Well....not this time.
Eternal Youth is the first two parts of what was supposed to be a series
detailing the sexual adventures of (you guessed it) a man who is immortal. Of
course, when he becomes immortal he is 18 and beautiful, in the prime of his
health and attracts the gaze of both men and women. (Why *both*, I'm not
sure. Perhaps being immortal means that one requires a larger variety in sex
partners than a single gender will provide. They say that variety is the
spice of life, and I would imagine that being immortal must get awfully old
after a while <grin>.)
The first chapter opens with the narrator working as a serving boy in the
Troll's Nose Tavern, circa 1716. Three travelers arrive, and the head of this
group quickly casts his eye upon our hero. After a bit of corporal punishment
for spilling the wine, the head traveler negotiates with the tavern owner to
'buy' the young man for the evening. And, as luck would have it, the traveler
possesses a magic potion that both heals the boys bottom and (mixed with his
blood) makes him immortal. How the young man gets the blood I'll leave to the
readers imagination.
To the author's credit the first part of the story did hold my interest. The
language seemed appropriate for the period, and the characters (drunken tavern
keeper, his kind wife, the rough travelers) were believable (if somewhat
stereotypical). The sex was actually rather gentle (at least compared to most
male/male stories I've run across), but I was disappointed that there was no
explanation whatsoever of the magic potion's origin or how the traveler came
to possess it. That would have been interesting. Unfortunately, that is this
story's downfall...not enough depth and plot to keep me going. By the time
the second chapter comes along (after a really, really boring spiel on the
joys(?) of being immortal) I was loosing interest. The historical aspect was
wearing thin, there was NO plot or hook that linked the two chapters, and even
a reasonably described male/female sex scene (between him and a prostitute)
was not enough to raise my blood pressure.
Understand, I don't think this is a *bad* story, and the idea behind it is
solid enough. It's just that it was formula all the way. Try as I might I
could not connect with the narrator, or his adventure.
Oh well, better luck next time.
-- Numbers mean nothing without context, read the review --
Ratings for "Eternal Youth"
Athena (technical quality): 10 (no problem here)
Venus (plot & character): 7 (nice idea)
Stephen (appeal to reviewer): 5
"My Cousin Michelle" by Danny (danny387@aol.com -- no longer valid). Guest
review by Fiddler.
The narrator comes from a "poor white trash" family and decides to get out of
that life. He earns grades enough to get him into a good college and puts his
past almost behind him. Then, in his junior year, he visits home one more
time and falls for his 16-year-old first cousin. He takes her to LA,
initiates her into sex, and sends her home on the bus. She grows out of the
relationship, and he is left with both his heart and his self-image broken.
A lot of this story rings true. (The girl loves him, but also sees him as
part of the "Baywatch"-induced glamour of California.) Commander Jameson
reposted it as a classic. So why doesn't it work for me?
It isn't only that there is a long time between fucks. A more serious problem
is the lack of expressed emotion. Screwing a 16-year-old first cousin is part
of the hillbilly life that the narrator tells us that he has rejected. We
aren't shown that rejection, however, merely told about it. Friar Dave and The
(retired) Bear could get away with thousands of words working up to the first
penetration. But they communicated (and FD communicates) the ambivalence of
sexual-attraction/shame-at-being-attracted. And, when the deed was done, they
communicated the emotions of both parties. Danny doesn't do any of this for
me.
Ratings for "My Cousin Michelle":
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 8
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 6
"My Weekend in Portland" by Charles Thain (okiquit@hotmail.com). Guest review
by Sandman (sandman@bitsmart.com). "A happy 'slave' is better than a surly
'slave' any day." And how do we keep our slave happy? By giving her orgasm
after earth-shattering, pulse-pounding, neighbors-calling-the-cops, life-
changing orgasm. OOPS got ahead of myself. Actually the story codes said
simply "MF, FF, MFF" and it was indeed all of that but it neglected to mention
the "M/F" was really "Light M/f D/S" (f being and adult submissive female).
Mr. K is working in San Francisco. He used to work in Portland before his
boss, Ruth, saw him as a threat (personally, sexually, and professional) and
had him downsized. When Mr. K visits Portland to see to one of his clients he
visits his old office when looking up an old friend and bumps into Ruth. Mr.
K doesn't know Ruth had him downsized, but he learns about it when she tells
him over dinner. It seems Ruth has a conscious and the dastardly deed has
been eating her up inside. She offers to make it up to him by being his slave
for forty-eight hours.
Up until this point (page 3 of a 50-page story) I was groovin' right along
enjoying a remarkably good read. At the mention of "slave" though alarm bells
went off (Danger Will Robinson Danger!) and I groaned anticipating 47 more
pages of what might as well be sex with one of those "real dolls". "Don't
even breathe unless I tell you. 'Yes Master.' OK now bend over. 'Yes Master.'
Spread your pussy for me. 'Yes Master, anything you say master'."
What followed the offer really did surprise me. Ruth was hardly the one
dimensional sex toy I expected. Quite the contrary! Ruth was an even more
dynamic character than the narrator! The author managed to make Ruth's
personality consistent with her offer. This wasn't done in one huge
rationalization blurb like so many similar stories do, but was revealed
gradually as an element to Ruth's rather dynamic personality.
We find over the course of the story that Ruth has had some pretty unpleasant
experiences with sex and has managed to repress herself into chastity. She's
repressed sex, but not her drive. Ruth is a lusty woman, in every sense of
the word! The effect of this remarkably manages to contain all the elements
of a first-time event for Ruth (and all the pleasures of dawning sexuality) at
the hands of a very experienced lover.
Did I say lover? In a D/S story? Actually I did. Mr. K is extraordinarily
sensitive to his partner's wants, needs, and desires. The sex scenes read
like scenes out of any "vanilla" romance. We really aren't reminded who's
boss and who's not until AFTER Ruth wakes up the neighbors with her orgasmic
screams, and then only with the lightest touch.
And what sex scenes! Lovingly, painstakingly, vividly, awesomely described
passion that can heat up even the coldest - er well you get the idea. This
is a long story and it is almost paragraph to paragraph non-stop-sex, but the
variation seems endless. This really is one hot story.
Right about now unless you've sneaked a peek at the scores you're probably
thinking triple ten territory. So was I actually. Up until chapter nine I
would have marked the story so without hesitation. Ruth's no-longer
repressed, Mr. K and Ruth find blissful happiness and live happily ever after.
That would have been a triple ten ending to a triple ten story.
What happened I think is that the author looked at his story and said to
himself, "Damn this is good." He probably had loads of fun writing it -- it
certainly looked as if he had fun. And he decided to keep right on writing.
There's a reason we get the words "And they lived happily ever after," after
Sleeping Beauty is saved by Prince Charming. No one really wants to hear how
Prince Charming dragged Sleeping Beauty off to her best friend and got her all
mixed up in an improbable threesome. Well maybe a few people, but I don't
think Disney would have made as much money with that particular ending.
Up until chapter nine this story did the seemingly impossible for me and made
the story believable enough for me to suspend my disbelief and just kick back
and enjoy a great read. When Mr. K discovers Ruth's fantasy about a female
coworker he takes her over to the coworker's apartment and the story breaks
the trust between reader and story by creating a scene so improbable that not
even the author's otherwise flawless writing skills could overcome the
reader's problems. The illusion broken beyond repair, the story ends on a
sour note I suspect for most people.
Do yourself a favor and definitely look up this story. Read the first eight
chapters and then tell yourself "and they lived happily ever after." If you
do that you'll be getting a triple ten story. Otherwise this is probably what
you're going to find:
Ratings for "My Weekend in Portland"
Athena (technical quality): 10 -- Very, very readable.
Venus (plot & character): 8 -- Improbable middle, very weak ending.
Sandman (appeal to reviewer): 8 -- This could have been a perfect story!
* "Fruit of the Vine" by Wollstonecraft (an285729@anon.penet.fi). The girl
has been drinking, and her boyfriend has been nice enough to find her a quiet,
cool place to lie down. As she feels her jeans being pulled down over her
hips, she vaguely thinks she ought to protest; but she can't understand why.
The fondling fingers on her body feel so good, especially when they press into
the soft globes of her ass, lifting her off the bed, sliding her jeans down
her legs. Her torment over her virginity slipping away and her immediate
realization that she is probably pregnant become trivial when she is faced
with the knowledge that the guy who fucked her was not even her boyfriend, but
a total stranger.
Things work out; it's just a major change in her way of life. She discovers
that there are a lot of guys who love to fuck knocked-up bitches and who pay
quite well for the privilege. If she manages things right, she can simply
become a whore and maintain this new lifestyle for a long time. The one
aspect of the story that I disliked was the fact that the guy who popped the
girl's cherry was a black man. This detail was presented with a racially
demeaning nuance: not only did the girl get deflowered by a stranger while she
was drunk, but to make matters worse the guy was a scruffy black guy. I don't
think this racial slur contributed to the story, and I would have liked to
have seen it omitted.
Ratings for "Fruit of the Vine"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5