Celestial Reviews 242 - December 13, 1997
Note: If you requested proofreading help recently but did not receive
it, please contact me again. I am afraid I accidentally threw out a
request with some spam that I was discarding.
Second Note: There are several interesting discussions currently on
a.s.s.d., if you can find them amidst all the spam. One perennial theme
is "why does Celeste allow anonymous guest reviews?" The answer is
because I believe I can get better reviews from certain reviewer/authors
if I do it this way.
When a reviewer uses a "second pseudonym" to post a review, that simply
forces you (the reader) to accept that review in isolation from any
other information about the person who wrote that review. In practice,
that means that with Mike Hunt and Kim, an author can look at a review
and say, "Big shit! She can't do any better herself!" With Piper or
Fiddler, on the other hand, you are forced to deal with the content of
the review.
I personally enjoy the reviews of all four of the reviewers mentioned in
the preceding paragraph. There are obviously advantages and
disadvantages to doing it either way. The strongest advantage that I
have noticed to using "real" names for reviews is that it's easier for
reviewers to develop a relationship with reviewers whose work they
recognize. I think that's a real benefit.
The best reason NOT to use a "real" name is that this may interfere with
the reviewer's own writing. I know I personally am hesitant to post my
own stories here (as if I had time to write any!), because I have the
feeling of undue pressure. I have seen my own story (Virtuous Reality)
unfairly ripped simply because somebody was pissed that I gave his story
an unfavorable review. My feeling in this regard is personal, but it is
not unique. I think lots of sensible people - but not all of them -
would feel a pressure arising from the inconsistency of roles.
Third note: Occasionally somebody sends me an "obviously good"
suggestion about how to improve Celestial Reviews. They suggest that I
"should be open to growth." Actually, it's exceptionally obvious to me
that I have grown during the two and a half years I have been writing
these reviews. But the point I want to make here is that sometimes I do
things the way I do them for a good reason. A certain amount of
stability is good and necessary. Changes HAVE occurred, and I do
appreciate your suggestions. However, I cannot respond to each of you
individually. I need to spend most of my time doing these reviews
rather than talking about them. Which is what I'll do now - that and
learn how to spell "waist" correctly.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Lucky Mower" by Reaven (sex with lawnboy) 9.5, 9.5, 9.5
"Pierced" by Sexy Grrl (piercing) 10, 9, 9
"The Talent Contest" by Lisa Cohn (amateur sex ed) 8, 10, 10
"Mr Miller's Dream" by Youngset (old man/young girl) 8, 7, 7
"An Unforgettable Evening" by Gary Ray (bdsm) 10, 10, 10
Celestial Christmas Contest:
"Fantasies" by BitSlinger (sexual fantasies) 9, 10, 10
"Christmas Carole" by MrSpraycan (femdom office sex) 10, 10, 10
"Snowbound" by Ann Douglas (older man/younger woman)
10, 10, 10
"The Curiosity Shop" by Sven the Elder (Christmas shopping
quickie) 10, 10, 10
Guest Reviews:
"One Fine Weekend" by Mr. G. Reaper (loosening up) 7.5, 9.5, 10
"Front Window" by losgud (neighborly sex) 9, 9, 9
"Let's All Nap Now, Please!" by losgud (romantic quickie)
10, 10, 9
"It's Only a Dream " by Unknown Author (ghastly ghostly sex)
4, 1, 1
Reposted Reviews:
* "My Bedroom" by WA Emmerson (casual sex) 7, 3, 3
* "Cousin Tanda" by Unknown Author (youthful frolic with
a cousin) 9.5, 9, 9
* "Travels with Aunt Paula" by Estragon (female dominance)
10, 10, 10
* "Forever Faithful" by J Boswell (office romance) 8, 6, 5
* "Snowbound" by A. Van Peebles (lustful longings for
a lovely little lady) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"Lucky Mower" by Reaven (reposted by Erostory
<erostory@anon.nymserver.com>). Fantasies about yardboys are apparently
as ubiquitous and American as apple pie. As near as I can figure,
nearly every non-Amish American boy who mows a lawn wants to get into
the pants of the middle-aged divorcee or young widow who pays for his
services. The lustful feelings are reciprocal: nearly all women,
including some nuns, have apparently lusted after the muscular kid with
the tight ass who mows the lawn and pulls the weeds. The Coke guy on
the commercial last year was nothing more than a glorified yardboy.
Anyway, Mrs. Anderson is a 42-year-old divorcee - a DWF, as she might
call herself in the personal ads. Dan is a 16-year-old HWT (horny white
teenager) who mows her lawn - literally at first and metaphorically
later.
The deal is that Mrs. A decides that just for one day, Dan can do
anything he wants with her body. And that's just what he does for the
next 24 hours. He comes fast the first time, but pretty soon he is
listening to lectures from Mrs. A and searching through books and
magazines for interesting positions.
This is an interesting enactment of the Great American Fantasy.
Incidentally, my favorite variation on this theme is "Charly the Yard
Guy" by Michael K. Smith, in which Charly is a yardgirl.
Ratings for "Lucky Mower"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
"Pierced" by Sexy Grrl (bigsexygrrl@hotmail.com). It was only
after I had read this story that I discovered that it is actually
Chapter 3 in a series called "The Education of a Princess." I
have not read the other chapters.
Aside from my earrings, I have never been pierced myself - largely
because I have surmised that it would be very much like what this
story describes. I suppose someday one of my daughters will
decide to get pierced, and I think I can handle that. But I
suspect that day is far in the future. Tonight we were watching a
TV show in which a cute young lady had her belly-button pierced,
and the local adult suggested that she connect her halter top to
the belly-ring, so that he bare midriff would be at least
partially covered. They roared with laughter. On the other hand,
they looked interested when the same young lady boasted of having
had sex in the torch of the statue of liberty.
Anyway, in the story the woman gets pierced, and it hurts like
hell. But she does it for Her Guy, who enjoys seeing her in pain,
because then he knows she really loves him. Of course, she enjoys
the pain, because it is a way to show her love for him. Barf
city! I'd consider this to be really sick, except that I had a
nun in the fourth grade who quoted St. Theresa to us by saying "If
you suffer a lot, that's because God loves you." So I guess what
I am saying is either this notion is not completely crazy or maybe
that nun was.
The motivation of the main character is not clear to me, but this
story was still interesting. That's the right word: the story
wasn't sexy to me, just interesting.
Ratings for "Pierced"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"The Talent Contest" by Lisa Cohn. For the past 27 years Johnson Roberts
School has held its annual talent contest for all students aged 12 to
14. In the weeks and months preceding the event there is a flurry of
activity with youngsters organizing and practicing their presentations.
There have been several calls for the contest to be scrapped as grades
fall during this period. However, the event survives as "part of the
overall socialization and education of the child at Johnson Roberts
School". This is the story of three 12 year old girls - Megan, Beth and
Sam - and their first appearance in the contest which ultimately leads
them to find hidden talents none of them ever dreamed they had. That's
because Big Brother Tim offers to help, and he becomes a Benignly
Benevolent Big Brother.
The story is a bit slow in developing, but eventually the young girls
and older boy get down to Serious Show and Tell - starting with
observation of bodies and an errant cumshot, then licking, porn magazine
analysis, and blowjobs.
I never did anything this explicit as a kid. I don't even WISH I had
done it. I'll do what I can to keep my kids from doing it. But it
certainly does sound like fun!
One word of advice. If you have an orgy with your loved one(s) and feel
concerned that subsequent visitors to the area of emboinkment will
notice the musky aroma of sex in the air, do NOT smoke a cigarette to
throw the visitors off track. As the surgeon general will assure you,
this can cause cancer, birth defects, and all kinds of other evil side
effects. Instead, simply burn some popcorn. It works even better and
has no negative side effects. My teenage daughters could never figure
out how my husband and I could be so klutzy as to burn popcorn as often
as we did.
Ratings for "The Talent Contest"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Mr Miller's Dream" by Youngset (youngset@aol.com). Sean is 18. Kira
is 16. Kira is black; but her father is white and so is her mother. Go
figure. Stranger things have happened. Mr. Miller is 61. Mr. Miller
lusts for the cute little ass and sexy exuberance of the lithe and
luscious, lovely and lascivious, little lass. So Mr. Miller concocts a
plan with Sean to get Kira to fuck with him while she really thinks she
is screwing somebody else.
At this point I discovered that I was reading Part 1 of who knows how
many parts. This is not a bad idea for a plot, but it's a bit clumsy so
far. Unfortunately, the author will just go ahead and finish it without
fixing these clumsy parts. That's unfortunate, but that's the way it is
with these serial postings. However, this story has potential, because
it already contains some good stuff.
Ratings for "Mr Miller's Dream"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
"An Unforgettable Evening" by Gary Ray (csangha@hooked.net). The man and
woman are in love - deeply in love. Tonight he is going to pop the
question: "Do you love me enough to trust me?" "Yes!" she replies. And
out come the handcuffs, the blindfold, and an accomplice named Dominick.
"Wait a minute!" says I. "This is bullshit!" "Wait a minute!" says she.
"This is bullshit!" But they persist, and we come to a surprise ending.
I don't exactly recommend what this guy does - too much could go wrong.
But then I personally reject cybersex for the same reason, and a lot of
you enjoy that activity. Anyway, this is an excellent story.
This author ends his disclaimer with "Do I have hope as an erotica
writer?" Hmmm... Is the pope Catholic? Does the bear shit in the
woods? Do teenage nympho queens want big cocks up their asses?
Ratings for "An Unforgettable Evening"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
Fantasies" by BitSlinger (bitslinger@hotmail.com). I believe this is
this author's first story. It's also an entry in my Celestial Christmas
story contest. I am happy to have stimulated the author to enter upon a
promising writing career.
The basic plot is that the wife has become interested in fulfilling her
husband's fantasies; but he's reluctant to share them, because he's
afraid he'll scare her off. Most recently she has noticed his interest
in a sexy little elf at the mall, and so tonight she has seduced him in
an elf costume. Eventually she manages to pry some fantasies out of
him, and she rewards him by acting them out with him and enjoying them
herself.
The fantasies are actually pretty tame by a.s.s. standards, but I
enjoyed them. Except for a few occasional flaws in verb tenses, the
author shows a good sense of timing in his integration of the fantasies
and the real-time sexual activity. I look forward to seeing more
stories by this author.
Ratings for "Fantasies"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Christmas Carole" by MrSpraycan (mrspraycan@mailanon.com). Several
years ago my husband treated me very romantically and fucked me under
the Christmas tree after the kids went to bed. As he did so, he played
a tape with the song "Here We Go a' Caroling." Unlike the woman in the
previous review, I did not have to ask him about his fantasies. You
see, I had three very close friends - all very sexy, one of whom had one
the Nurse Goodbody award in nursing school. That may help explain the
title, but not the plot of this story.
The time is 1941. Pearl Harbor has just been bombed shortly before the
Christmas party, and the United States is going to change its economy to
a war footing. History books tells us that women will move into the
workplace and never move out; it's the start of the sexual revolution in
America. Carole is a woman in a male-dominated environment who has
ideas about becoming a significant person in her company. Pat O'Reilly
is the abstemious, Scrooge-like part owner of the company, who thinks
he's big stuff around women. By the end of the story we can see how
Carole is going to move up the corporate ladder.
I have read several stories by MrSpraycan, and this one is not in the
author's usual raunchy style. Nevertheless, it's a really good story
that I think you'll enjoy.
Ratings for "Christmas Carole"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Snowbound" by Ann Douglas (annd@pop.tiac.net). This is the second
excellent story that I have reviewed with this title. I am reposting the
review of the other, and I hope the author will repost the story.
When Ann Douglas moved to her new home and announced her retirement, I
suspected she would miss us and would return to her writing shortly. I
was right, and I am glad. This is a really good story. Of course, I
had the same feelings about Delta; but so far Delta has remained in
obscure retirement. I guess maybe that's what happens when your spouse
becomes vice president of a major industrialized nation.
What Ann exemplifies here is her ability to write a complete story - one
with numerous details that at to the impact of the overall story rather
than distracting us. Her stories are not complete in the way that
novels are complete: they are more like good weekly TV episodes - lots
of interesting details with everything falling into place at the end.
In addition, Ann has the ability to treat her characters with a respect,
dignity, and honest sexiness that makes them really appeal to me.
Ilyssia is snowbound on Christmas eve at O'Hare airport. She meets the
father of one of her best friends. She's 24, single, and sexually
aggressive; he's 42, divorced, and hasn't been with a woman since his
wife left him a year ago. They are forced to share a room, and they
fuck beautifully. But the story is much more than a May/December
emboinkment. It includes serious and sensitive concerns about who will
sleep where, real evidence of the value of both sexual experience and
spontaneity, and the value of waiting - plus a literal cold shower.
This is an absolutely delightful story.
Minor grammar lessons:
(1) When you quote someone and follow the quote with "he said" or the
equivalent, use a comma in place of the period at the end of the quoted
sentence. On the other hand, if the sentence ended with a question mark
or explanation point, just leave them there.
"I knew I should have taken the flight out yesterday," Ilyssia thought.
"Wanna fuck?" Ilyssia asked.
"I'm gonna come!" Ilyssia shouted as her pulsating cuntlips continued to
caress his gyrating cock.
(2) Use "lay" (not "laid") for the past tense of lie, meaning to
recline.
They lay (not laid) there for about fifteen minutes, just enjoying the
comfort of each other's body.
(3) When two or more words form a single modifier and precede a noun,
join them with a hyphen. If the words come after the noun, omit the
hyphen. This rule is often violated with impunity, but it's good to
watch for cases where the omission causes confusion.
My well-fucked pussy tingled with delight.
My pussy was well fucked and tingled with delight.
They had a last-minute gangbang before the end of gym class.
They had a quick gang bang at the last minute before the end of gym
class.
Ratings for "Snowbound"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Curiosity Shop" by Sven the Elder (sven@brass-neck.demon.co.uk).
If I were writing clever one-liners to entice people to read this story,
I would say, "Sven has gone Christmas shopping, but he finds a surprise
present for himself!" The surprise present is the lovely and vivacious
Jo, whose full name is too long to print here and whose husband is away
while his wife must play. This is a delightful little story that will
take your mind off the burdens of last-minute Christmas shopping.
Rarely do Americans find a woman who hunkers down and lets a man find
her centre. Apparently that sort of thing is fairly common on the
Island. It sounds like a custom worth exporting.
Ratings for "The Curiosity Shop"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"One Fine Weekend" by Mr. G. Reaper (MrReaper@DeathsDoor.com). Guest
review by Sven the Elder.
"My fantasy weekend started off in a very shity way." So starts this
tale of derring do! The story revolves around a weekend with the
'outlaws' - sorry, in-laws - and the happenings of the weekend. That it
involves the conversion of a semi-religious fanatic to the ways of a sex
maniac makes this a very hot story. It should be read with great care
and the aid of a set of welders gloves and goggles. From that you may
take it that this was one fantasy I enjoyed - in spades!
Fantasy named, fantasy it is and fantasy it will remain as I think of it
tonight. If I follow Kim's fairly outrageous line (kisses Kim <grin>) I
would say it made me wet. Well you know what I mean....... Mr Reaper
prefaces his story with an apology for a lack of proofing, or even spell
checking. For once, even though it was apparent, I refuse to let it
spoil the prose. It will cost a point or so though. Celeste advises that
an 8 is normal, anything higher denotes special usage of the language;
so I must give a 7.5, other than that - I like!! Read and enjoy - I did
Ratings for One fine Weekend
Technical quality: 7.5
Plot & character: 9.5
Sven (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Front Window" by losgud (losgud@hotmail.com). Guest review by Mark
Aster (myfrthal@aol.com).
This is a nice sweet sexy story, perhaps a little long, with a few rough
spots in the writing. But recommended to "MF cons" fans of all ages.
Lots of nice fucking.
To say too much about the plot would be to spoil the surprise. Basically
your typical guy meets the new neighbors, and gets to have hot sex with
the sweet young great-assed wife. Twice. With the promise of lots more
to come. I thought there was a bit too much setup: we didn't really
need the furniture rearrangement, nor the cat (although the cat does
enable one wonderful double-entendre line that it WOULD have been a pity
to lose). I don't really care what a large amount of urine he had to
get rid of that morning (the urine has nothing to do with the sex). And
the whole obscene-phone-caller thing seemed sort of unnecessary. But
excellent use of panties! Also that lovely thin dress.
The writing is generally very good, sweet and evocative. A few typos
and odd turns of phrase: "Her eyes were like those of a doe's" should be
either "like those of a doe" or (better) "like a doe's". The thrill
that's described as "vicarious" isn't vicarious in any sense I can think
of. There a little dialog about "usually" that I found
incomprehensible. But those are nits. Slightly more serious IMHO is a
bit of Stupid Exclamations During Sex Syndrome (SEDSS): why does she
have to yell things like "That's it baby, _use_ that fuck finger" and
"Go, baby, _go!_ Fuck me now!"? Except during sex, she talks like a
normal person; why the trite cheap-porn-movie sex-talk? On the other
hand, I realize that some people find that kind of talk very sexy, so
Your Mileage May Vary.
Definitely Recommended.
Ratings for "Front Window"
Techical stuff: 9 (quite good when it's good, some oopses)
Plot and Character: 9
Overall Appeal to Mark: 9
"Let's All Nap Now, Please!" by losgud (losgud@hotmail.com). Guest
review by Kim.
I expect some of you are waiting for some sort of comment about the
fallout from my last review. Well, sorry to disappoint you, but it's all
been settled, and I'll say no more about it. So with that out of the
way... onward.
I have reviewed some losgud stories before and they've always hit the
spot. So the question is will this one?
It's a short story for a start. Only a matter of a few minutes reading.
Basically it's the musings of a frustrated husband and father waiting
for a covert bit of lovemaking with his wife during one of the brief
afternoon naps of his small son.
Due to the cramped living conditions of his city apartment they have to
time their clinches to coincide with the offspring's sleeping routine.
The problem being that he is now reaching an age where his afternoon
naps are less certain than they used to be.
Ordered to get in bed by his wife, the man sits and waits for her to
return after having settled the boy. Soon they go at it like tigers and
copulate for all their worth. Having got round one out of the way they
are about to go for round two when...
I expect all you RL parents can guess the rest.
It seems as if Losgud was aiming for the territory that is usually the
exclusive domain of Uther Pendragon. And he does it very well, I might
add. Not brilliantly arousing by any means, but pleasing and gentle for
all that. Uplifting and amusing seems about right.
On a different note, to answer a question posed by Losgud on ASSD, I
personally prefer to see the asterisk used to denote *emboldening*,
rather than the under_score, but I have no valid or rational reason for
doing so. Losgud uses the under_score. Each to their own <shrug>.
{Celestial comment: I personally use either CAPS or _underscore_ for
EMBOLDENING, because the *asterisks* appear to my spellcheck as
WILDCARDS and slow up the proofreading process. I prefer that my guest
reviewers do the same.}
Ratings for "Let's All Nap Now, Please!"
Athena (technical quality): 10 (Very clever writing)
Venus (plot & character): 10 (Highly believable)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 9 (I liked it, rather than loved it)
"It's Only a Dream " by Unknown Author. Guest review by David Rills.
Maybe it's me but I just couldn't get into this story of female
masturbation come to ghostly fulfillment. The submission is about a
woman returning from a disappointing "Blind Date". Lying in her bed,
she begins to masturbate, falls asleep and is visited by a robe clad
stranger who makes love to her. There's no plot and the sexual
descriptions aren't very good. To make things worse, the author makes
numerous spelling errors. My advice: SKIP THIS ONE !
Ratings for "It's Only a Dream"
Athena (technical quality): 4
Venus (plot & character): 1
David (appeal to reviewer): 1
* "My Bedroom" by WA Emmerson (chas@bladon.dnet.co.uk). I have to
admit that the main reason I reviewed this story was because the
size of the cock caught my attention. It was immense - "just over
seventeen centimetres from the base to the top." We Americans
don't do centimetres, so I just assumed that this must be about 13
inches, since that's the size of a typical immense cock here in
the colonies. I called the librarian and asked her the American
equivalent 17 centimetres. She told me it was 6.7 inches, and I
said there must be some mistake. She rechecked and said, "Nope,
actually 6.6929 inches. Why? What do you have that's 17
centimetres long?" I had to think fast, and so I said, "A British
hotdog." She said, "Those Brits should put more meat in their
hotdogs." If she only knew....
I made that story up. The part about the librarian and the
hotdog, that is. Actually, I looked up the formula in the World
Almanac and did the conversion on my calculator. You can review
and rate my story, if you wish. But the guy in this story was
really impressed with his 6.7 inch beaver cleaver.
Anyway, the guy with the 6.7 love muscle is going to go clubbing
with four lady friends, and they are going to stay over the night
with him in his flat, which is what the British call apartments or
certain types of shoes. I knew what the author was talking about
right away, since this was not a foot fetish story. Anyway, the
guy has sex with one of the girls. That's about it. It's a
really lame story - just a bunch of ideas thrown together without
any concern for timing, plot, motivation, or any of those
subtleties we might expect from a sex story. My own story at the
end of the first paragraph of this review was much better. My
guest reviewers are going to be glad that I kept this one for
myself. But then, I also kept all the Mandible stories for
myself.
Ratings for "My Bedroom"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 3
Venus (appeal to reviewer): 3
* "Cousin Tanda" by Unknown Author (editor@spellbinder.bc.ca). The
guy has been staying on the farm with his cousin Tanda. One
morning she awakens him early and asks him to join her in some
voyeurism. By that I mean they watch some pigs copulate. There
may be something to the old theory of "Monkey see, monkey do,"
because immediately afterward Tanda asks him if he'd like to have a
shot at it - with her, of course, not with a pig. They do pretty
well!
This is a short, but very good story. It was presented as a sort of an
advertisement for Lust So Stories, who have a web site at
http://spellbinder.bc.ca/lss/.
Ratings for "Cousin Tanda"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Travels with Aunt Paula" by Estragon. Paula is the guardian
for her ten-year-old nephew, the child of her deceased sister.
Since she generally requires Cal to appear naked in her presence,
we might suspect that she is a dirty old woman. Not true! Paula's
every desire toward Cal is indeed maternal, even her long-
established insistence on his naked humility. It is all for his
own good. She has always known in her heart that a worshipful man
is a happy man; and an adored and well-served woman is happier
still. All she wants for her sweet nephew is as much happiness as
a life of early sorrow can still afford.
We learn several important Hidden Truths from the Feminist
Catechism - a few things that make one go "Hmmmm." For example,
why does it feel good for a boy to have his penis become hard?
Answer: Because the erection shows that the nearby female has
power over him, and it's good to be honest and respectful in that
way. We also witness a detailed description of circumcision -
that sacrament (best conferred when young girls are holding the
boy's legs apart) which is designed to humiliate and shame a young
boy and to enable him to find his place in the world designed for
women.
After his circumcision, young Cal became popular with the local
girls, many of whom had been present at his gala circumcision and
who had told their friends that here was a lad who was willing to
become obediently naked for instructional or conversational
purposes. They could ask him questions about his boy things and
even touch them if they wanted. His aunt didn't mind at all, and
nobody even knew whether he did. Nobody asked him. Nobody really
cared. The girls who heard all this said it was incredible but
they'd believe it when they saw it. Cal had many visitors.
The censors might be suspicious of this story - thinking, for
example, that there is something unseemly in the idea of an 11-
year-old girl gazing at and touching the newly circumcised penis
of a 6-year-old boy. That would be the perception of a person
with a filthy mind; most readers of this story will easily see
that this is simply an example of a lower-order member of the
species offering his genitalia as an educational tool for a young
member of the Super Race. For, as every British schoolgirl knows
(with apologies to Thomas Babington Macaulay), "The battle of the
sexes is lost before it even begins. Ladies just happen to enjoy
being reminded of this fact."
Like most of Estragon's writing, this story is a fictionalized
version of a feminist philosophical tract. Some readers will find
the ideas a bit exaggerated or even bizarre. "Who could ever
believe crap like this?" they'll say. Well, my old Aunt Emma, for
one. I escaped from her clutches long ago (I think). She's dead
now and can no longer reach me (I hope). But she had these weird
ideas about religion that ran exactly parallel to Aunt Paula's
sexual theories. Aunt Emma's books did not emphasize physical
circumcision or sexual humiliation - just spiritual versions of
the same themes. I haven't looked at the "Imitation of Christ"
lately - and I doubt that it's high on the reading list of most
a.s.s. readers - but my recollection is that it seriously argues
that humans become more perfect by becoming better slaves of God.
My point is that if otherwise sensible people have been known to
apply this dominance/slavery theory to the relationship between
God and humankind, it should hardly be surprising to see it
applied to the relationship between men and women.
Estragon writes extremely well, and this is another good story.
Every time I sit down at my computer to review one of Estragon's
stories, I say to myself, "This female dominance stuff is
nonsense. I want men to be my equals, not my slaves." Then, as I
read the outlandish but interesting events in the story, I find
myself realizing that there's a huge kernel of truth behind what
Estragon is saying.
Ratings for "Travels with Aunt Paula"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Forever Faithful" by J Boswell. Holy cow! Could both Ann
Landers and Dear Abby be wrong? Both of those illustrious
advisors adamantly insist that the "other woman" gets the short
end of the stick {so to speak}. But here we have a woman who
accepts an invitation to become a mistress in exchange for an
opportunity for professional advancement. She has regular trysts
with her gentleman friend three or four times a week. They feel
quite affectionate towards each other; it's much more than just
sex, and there's no need for a commitment. He's married, a
wonderful lover, and safe, having had a vasectomy years ago.
Everyone, including the spouses, is happy; and the woman becomes
immensely successful in the business world! I don't know - either
Ann and Abby or the lady in this story must be living in a fantasy
world.
Probably the most perverse thing in the affair occurred when the
woman shared her wedding day with her lover, because she wanted it
to be special for him, too. I don't think Ann and Abby have ever
dealt with that issue; but I'm pretty sure they'd agree it was
perverse. That occasion also entailed an example of either a
seriously misplaced modifier or crossdressing: "Still in my veil,
gown and heels, Robert threw my dress up over my back and knelt
behind me, slowing pushing himself into my wet pussy."
After the prenuptial romp, Robert says, "Theresa, I love you all the
more for this wedding treat you've given me. I've thought about what I
want to do and decided that I don't want you to be a virgin anywhere in
your body tonight." Then he fucks her up her ass, in both nostrils, and
in both ears.
The story wasn't bad; but it wasn't as hot as many of the better
stories I've reviewed recently. It was late when I wrote this
review. The story had potential, but was dragging; and so I made
some of this stuff up. Sorry, Boswell; you've written worse
stories, but you've also written better.
Ratings for "Forever Faithful"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
* "Snowbound" by A. Van Peebles (an182636@anon.penet.fi). Planes
are grounded because of snow; and so the doctor's wife is stuck in
a distant city, leaving him alone in charge of the slumber party
for a boisterous band of fifteen-year-olds. One of the girls (who
happens to be his favorite) falls and sprains her ankle; and the
old peter meter is on the rise as the doctor takes her to his
bedroom and gives her first aid. Afterwards, to avoid doing
something "irretrievably stupid," he is faced with the choices of
a cold shower or masturbation. He prescribes the latter for
himself, but Allison is vividly in his mind as he jerks off in the
bathroom. The sex is hot here, even though it's all in his mind.
While Doc shovels snow the next morning, the rest of the kids go
sledding; but the injured Allison stays behind and offers him a
massage to cure what ails his sore back. He accepts the rubdown,
but will he decline to roll over and let her "do the front"? And
what will happen when his wife eventually returns home? You may
be surprised!
Ratings for "Snowbound"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10