Celestial Reviews 241 - December 10, 1997
Note: There has been a bit of a discussion on a.s.s.d. that has touched
upon my reviewing process. I am not going to try to summarize it here,
but I'd like to make just a few comments:
(1) I expect my guest reviewers to feel free to give their own
opinions, and these opinions can certainly cover issues as well as the
style of the story. If I reviewed Poe's "Telltale Heart," I think it
would be appropriate for me to say, "This was an excellent story, but
only a demented maniac would act this way." Likewise, it is possible to
say, "This was an excellent story, but I really don't believe that sex
between a father and an 11-year-old daughter can ever be consensual in
real life." I am NOT suggesting that reviewers always give moral
commentary - only that it's OK to venture opinions. Of course, it makes
sense to give reasons to back up convictions.
(3) I think it is possible to be somewhat objective in how a person
expresses her dislike for a story, and not all reviewers have mastered
this art. For example, I myself may give low ratings to a rape story in
which the woman enjoys the activity, and I would indicate that the
enjoyment was counterintuitive and the author did not build a case for
it. {I might give straight 10s to another story that simply built a
better case.} One of my reviewers might instead give it a 1 and rant
about how she loathed it. I think my review would be more likely to
help both readers and authors, but the other review is at least honest
and useful. Many readers of Celestial Reviews have commented that they
often like the stories I rate 10-10-5 better than those I rate 10-10-10.
I think that's partly because they understand where I'm coming from.
(4) The number of 10s has indeed gone up in the past two years. I
attribute this to an actual increase in the quality of stories during
this time - or at least the stories that come to my attention are much
better now. To validate this, I might note that last week I reviewed
three of SueNH's stories that I had not reviewed. Although all three
received 10s for grammar and style, none received a 10 in my other two
categories. I suspect that this is because I am unconsciously comparing
them to CURRENT stories, and I suspect some of Sue's earlier stories
that received straight 10s might not have done so against more recent
competition. {In saying this, I want to stress that I think SueNH is
still one of the best writers on this newsgroup. She herself has
improved: her more recent stories are certainly much better than her
earlier work. I wish she would post some new stories.}
(5) Straight 10s should not be taken as an indication that a story is
"perfect." I recently rated a story 10-10-10, and the author honestly
admitted to me that it was imperfect. I don't care. I need to maintain
some level of continuity with the past. I have tried to make my
standards more rigid, but I simply cannot do it. Here's a simple
example of why I have trouble. Assume that Mike Hunt's next story is as
good as "June's First," which was one of the first stories I read by
that author. Back then straight 10s were relatively rare (say, 5% of
the stories). Now straight 10s are much more common (sometimes maybe
even 20% of the stories in a particular issue - but that's because
they're actually as good as "June's First.). If I toughen up on Mike
right now and give his new story ratings of 8-8-8, that would give the
impression that this story was worse than "June's First." I suppose the
impression would go away after a few weeks, but I'm just uncomfortable
doing that. When I publish annual and cumulative lists, I see value in
making the scores as comparable as possible across the years; and this
wouldn't happen if I changed the system any further.
As it is, you can be assured that a rating of 10-10-10 generally means
that I think the story is about as good as a typical story that I might
enjoy in Redbook or Penthouse. A rating of 10-10-5 would mean that the
story is about as good as a typical story that I might dislike in a
magazine I won't mention here, because I don't need the grief I'd get
from that magazine's fans. Many people find this information to be
useful.
(6) Guest reviewers are always free to decline to review a particular
story. However, in all honesty I would appreciate it if they would go
ahead and review the story and simply be clear about their personal
conflicts. Most reviewers do this. For example, they might say, "I
personally see nothing sexy about the coercive sex in this story. A
person with different views about rape or incest might give this story a
higher rating a higher rating for reader appeal."
(7) In my own reviews I try to have fun with my audience. My reviews
are often essays rather than reviews pure and simple. It's the sort of
thing I do, and most of my readers wouldn't have it any other way. I
personally have the advantage of building up a relationship over several
years with my readers (although not everyone has been in on this from
the beginning), and this makes it easier for me to have fun with my
audience. Guest reviewers do not always have a comparable advantage.
However, to the extent that it is possible to do so, I think readers can
benefit by understanding who the person is whose review they are
reading.
(8) I see nothing wrong with guest reviewers who use a different name
than that under which they post their own stories. One of my best
reviewers prefers this level of anonymity. If that bothers you, just
don't read that person's reviews. A better course of action is to keep
this factor in mind as one piece of information when reading a review.
An important advantage of using a "real" name is that the reviewer is
more easily able to build up a relationship with his/her audience. For
example, if you read a review by Mike Hunt or Kim, you can associate
that review with the reviewer's own stories - you think you know the
person better. On the other hand, if you read a review by Piper or
Fiddler, you may even have trouble associating one of their reviews with
another.
(9) I CANNOT screen the reviews very carefully before I send them to
guest reviewers. First, this would defeat the purpose of having guest
reviewers - I simply don't have time to read all the stories myself.
Second, this would amount to "dumping" on some of the reviewers. For
example, if I tended to send all mind-control incest stories to a
certain reviewer because he showed a tolerance for those stories, that
would not be fair to that reviewer, especially if those stories tended
to be weak or if he really would prefer different stories. I DO
sometimes screen the stories to a certain degree - for example, I might
send a story to a particular reviewer because she is interested in Star
Trek stories. But that really can't happen all that often.
(10) I hope these comments help make these reviews more interesting and
useful. Please note that I CANNOT read all the discussions conducted in
a.s.s.d. Heck, I'm on AOL, and I can't even FIND them half the time!
If you want me to be sure to hear something you have to say, send it to
me by email. However, please also be aware that I cannot respond
individually to every email message I get. If I did that, I would have
much less time to read and review stories. Instead, I'll often reply to
several emails at once, as I think I am doing right now.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Fantastic Spring" by Unknown Author (adolescent orgy fantasy)
9.5, 9, 9
"The Rules of the Road" by The Lecherous Professor (essay
on sex) 10, 10, 10
"Anathema" by Kathy B. (ironic gay liaison) 10, 10, 10
"Forlorn" by Uther Pendragon (family romance) 10, 10, 10
"Reflection" by Mark Aster (simple mf hedonism) 10, 9, 9
"Rehearsal" by Jasmine (rape) 10, 8, 8
"The Party" by Rich Adams (voyeurism & masturbation) 8, 9, 9
Guest Reviews:
"The Color of Her Hair" by Steve (sexual reminiscence) 9.5, 9, 6
"Cousins" by Day Dreamer (adolescent romance) 10, 10, 10
"Stuffing the Old Gobbler" by MrSpraycan (raunchy ff sex)
10, 10, 10
"Model Sex Slave" by Reavan (bdsm) 7, 8, 9
"Fair Warning" by Carol Parsons (amusement park sex) 9, 9, 9
"Raunchy Rosie" by Jack Aubrey (sex on a boat) 10, 5, 9
Reposted Reviews:
* "The Adventures of Me and Martha Jane" by Santo J.
Romeo (emerging adolescence and romance)
10, 10, 10
* "Behind the Bar" by Unknown Author (hedonistic orgies)
9.5, 10, 10
* "Memories of Underdevelopment" by Estragon (emerging
sexuality) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of previous review (because the story has recently been
reposted)
"Fantastic Spring" by Unknown Author (Reposted by who@why.not). The
grammar and style of this story look worse than they really are. The
author deliberately writes badly to give the impression that he is an
adolescent boy, and he brings this off rather effectively.
After we hear about the narrator's mutual jerk-off experience with his
friend Jake, we plunge into the heart of the action: his adolescent
affair with Cindy, whose father is a church deacon and member of the
National Rifle Association, who also has a gym in his house.
Fortunately, the ole man is also a pedophile; and so is the narrator's
mother. And so the two kids and the two parents have a jolly time
playing Tiny Dancer and Strip Monopoly at the old man's cabin in the
woods.
This may sound silly - and in real life this sort of thing would be
truly stupid; but the story comes off as an interesting adolescent sex
fantasy.
Ratings for "Fantastic Spring"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"The Rules of the Road" by The Lecherous Professor (reposted from
Kristen's Collection). This is not really a story, but rather an essay
that incorporates several sexually explicit anecdote. The author claims
to be a male English professor at a Midwestern university; and in this
essay he is setting forth his advice to his colleagues for picking up
coeds.
His rules are worth repeating:
1 - Don't mess with Bambi.
2 - If you're not absolutely certain, back off.
3 - Stay away from women in academic difficulty.
4 - All women talk.
5 - Give "mom" a second glance.
Actually, I suspect there's more than this to the sex life of faculty
members at accredited institutions: I think this author just ran out of
sexy anecdotes. The essay reads like the sort of thing you find in the
Penthouse Forum - but that's not necessarily bad. I enjoyed this
dissertation very much.
Ratings for "The Rules of the Road"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Anathema" by Kathy B. (kathybxx@aol.com). The narrator is a male
English teacher who gives a low grade to a high school student for
writing a composition that contained the unsubstantiated claim that a
homosexual experience is a natural, normal experience, even for
heterosexuals. The teacher then goes to a teacher conference, where he
has a very pleasant experience with a male history teacher. He notes
the irony.
This is a fictionalized version of one of my main theses: I suspect that
almost all adult human beings COULD enjoy both heterosexual and
homosexual experiences. I am not saying that we all SHOULD go both
ways, merely that the physical experience (and the fantasy) has the
potential to be pleasant either way.
Stories on this newsgroup seem to accept this thesis for women. We get
the impression from many stories that almost any woman could be
stimulated to orgasm by another woman - as long as the other woman does
it right. What most people balk at is the notion that most guys could
enjoy doing it with another guy. The example I have often used is that
of a blindfolded guy getting a blowjob that he thought was being
administered by a sexy woman. Would the blowjob become less enjoyable
while it was occurring because the blindfold would later be removed?
An important distinction is that men have been conditioned in our
society to reject homosexual behavior - much as Pavlov's dogs were
conditioned to salivate when they heard a bell. This conditioning
cannot easily be ignored (and some would argue that it SHOULD not be
ignored): culture is an important part of our sexual personalities.
However, I believe that almost men COULD learn to drop their inhibitions
and ENJOY a sexual encounter with almost anybody that did it well.
As I have said many times, I myself am a monogamous heterosexual female.
I have no intention of ever making love to another female, but that
fantasy can be as arousing to me as fantasizing sex about a sexy man. I
think many people could benefit from loosening up and admitting the same
sort of attraction.
This specific story is a good one. One minor problem that I have with
it is that the author seems to ignore the conditioning that I spoke
about in the previous paragraph. I am not certain that the protagonist
would have entered into the man/man liaison as rapidly and easily as he
did in this story. The other man is anathema, and we usually don't get
over anathemas quite so quickly.
Check it out. The sex isn't exceptionally hot, but the story does a
good job of presenting an interesting situation.
Ratings for "Anathema"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Forlorn" by Uther Pendragon (anon584c@nyx.net). The Brennans are back,
speaking terms of endearment in French and quoting history to one
another. This time Bob and Jeanette even do a hand-off of The Kitten at
class, while the students oooo and ahhhh.
As I have said many times before, the Brennan saga is one of my
favorites. This story is another excellent blend of family life and hot
sex. Don't let the brevity of this review fool you: this is another
good one.
Ratings for "Forlorn"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Reflection" by Mark Aster (MyFrThAl@aol.com). Since Pat and Julie are
making love to each other while the twins sleep, they send Our Hero to a
friends house for some good recreational sex. He does indeed enjoy
himself and returns a happier man.
The title has a double meaning, but you probably knew that.
The main flaw that I saw in this story was the abrupt transition from
Our Hero's viewpoint to that of the woman to whom he was making love.
All of a sudden I found somebody waking up - and I had not even known
Our Hero had fallen asleep.
But overall this is another sexy story in the saga of the Allen Sisters.
Ratings for "Reflection"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Rehearsal" by Jasmine (jasmine01@usa.net). This is a first story by a
mew author. The narrator is a woman whose boyfriend is an actor who
must practice an important rape scene. He wants to do it under
realistic circumstances; so she agrees to dress up fit to fuck and to
meet him late at night in a dark part of the park, where he will accost
her and rape her. All goes pretty much as planned, except - guess what?
I think you can probably guess the ending. I know I did; but it was
still fun getting there.
Ratings for "Rehearsal"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"The Party" by Rich Adams (flash2@home.com). The man and his wife go to
a pre-Christmas party given by the company she works for. A guy at the
party gets the hots for the wife. When our protagonists stay over for
the night in the guest room, the other guy (who also stays) sneaks in
for a peak and jerks off while looking at the wife. It doesn't sound
all that hot the way I have described it; but the author makes a better
case. I found this to be an enjoyable story.
Ratings for "The Party"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"The Color of Her Hair" by Steve (steve1044@aol.com). Guest Review by
Morgan Preece.
I saw recently that Kim has guest reviewed thirty stories. I think this
is my fourth or fifth for Celeste, and I'm doing some for Brother
Cadfael. They are a lot of work. Besides looking for a job, doing
housework, and trying to write, I haven't had a lot of free time.
Well, a nice little diversion like "The Color of Her Hair" is a pleasant
break; and if I weren't in front of the 'puter I'd probably be vacuuming
or something useful. <g>
This is a nice little, lightweight-seeming, slice-of-life story about a
young man's encounter with a red-haired woman during college. The story
is told as a sort of reminiscence complete with a little confusion here
and there about time, place and person. I really felt like I was
listening to the sort of late night rambling people really do when
talking with friends about old times and lessons-of-life-leaned.
The sex is hot enough and competently described. The characters ring
true even to having mysteriously unexplained motives just like people in
real life. If some of the incidents seem to have been told somewhere
before, well, they're competently retold here and the flavor of a
friend's retelling of a favorite yarn is maintained.
The voice of the first-person here is very well handled.
Athena (technical quality): 9.5 ( A few unimportant typos and a minor
formatting problem. Scene setting and use of language are very
competent. The one fault is that I'm not sure if the story is about one
redhead or two different ones and I can't subtract a whole point for
that since it actually adds to the feeling of reminiscence.)
Venus (plot & character): 9 (Plot. Uh, well the story isn't about plot.
The main characters are about as real as college students ever get. The
minor characters are from central casting.)
Morgan (appeal to reviewer): 6 (I hate giving low marks here but in all
honesty, I just don't get that hot reading other people's writing. Now
if I'd written this, just as it is, I'd have to give it an 8. <grin>
Maybe you would, too.)
Grade for a hypothetical class in writing for ASS would be an "B+" and
"Somebody will like this better than I did" scribbled in the margin.
"Cousins" by Day Dreamer (reposted by Cmdr Jameson). Guest review by The
Bear.
This is a long story (over 120K) about a tender romance between a very
shy boy and a very shy girl who happen to be best friends. The plot is
simple and fairly predictable after you get past the first five or six
paragraphs, but the characters are well-realized, the narrative well-
written, and the sex (when it comes <g>) hot and erotic.
Two factors may cause squickage for some folks, so I'd better mention
them. First, these two young lovers are only fifteen years old. Second,
besides being best friends they are also first cousins (hence the
title). The story doesn't dwell on either fact, however; so if you
prefer to imagine the lovers as non-related friends of age seventeen or
eighteen, there is not much in the story that will jump up and remind
you of their actual age and the incestuous relationship.
It is a good story and I recommend it highly.
Ratings for "Cousins"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot and character): 10
Bear (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Stuffing the Old Gobbler" by MrSpraycan. Guest review by DG.
Polly comes from a dysfunctional, poor, redneck family, the kind that
isn't particularly supportive of lesbians. Understandably, she doesn't
make it back to the old Kentucky homestead too often. But this year she
decides to go back for Thanksgiving, to see if anything has changed.
Like Pa's underwear, for instance. At first it seems like a mistake: she
takes some heat for her all-black clothes and her vegetarianism, not to
mention her pussy eatin', as dear old Ma calls it. But after dinner,
while stretching her legs on a walk, she meets up with Cousin Jane, a
shapely blonde. Turns out Jane is recently divorced, down on men, and is
looking to try out one of those 'alternative lifestyles' everyone is
talking about. Let the games begin.
I won't beat around the bush here: I think Mr Spraycan is one of the
best erotic writers I've read. Maybe the best, period - depends on my
mood. If I'm feeling a little antisocial and rebellious, maybe had a
few drinks, this guy is number one. You won't find any lovey-dovey
romance in a Spraycan story, or much foreplay, either. This guy writes
for men. What you will find is laugh-out-loud funny observations, great
characters and dialogue, and lots of raunchy, explicit sex. All
delivered in a breezy, efficient writing style that keeps the eyes
moving down the screen.
The only complaint I have about Mr Spraycan is that his stories are hard
to find. He has this strange, subversive notion that he should be paid
for his work, rather than giving it away for free, and what he does post
often goes straight to soc.spanking or someplace like that. According
to the header for this story, he's going to be making a lot more of his
stories available for free on his web page in the near future. That's
good news in my book.
Ratings for "Stuffing the Old Gobbler"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
DG (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Model Sex Slave" by Reavan (posted by erostory@anon.nymserver.com)
Guest review by Piper.
There's a lot to be said for a D/s relationship where the only real
punishment seems to be a playful spanking, and the slave likes getting
spanked. Mind you, the sub is one of a very rare breed. She is a total
and complete submissive who didn't realize it until she met the right
mistress. She has just turned 18, is still in high school, is somewhat
afraid of boys, has the body of a slut, and is a virgin. She also
doesn't need to be whipped, electrocuted, cropped, clamped, held in
painful bondage for hours on end, tortured, or serviced by various and
sundry barnyard animals to be happy. Simple sex with anyone and
everyone her mistress decrees is just fine. If it sounds like Debby (of
_Debby Does Dallas_ fame) visiting _Mr. Roger's Neighborhood_, that's
about what it is, with lots of naked people, lots of light spanking,
lots of showers, and orgasmic fluids gushing by the quart.
The main characters are Diana, Marg, Lee, and Dan. Diana is the new
slave, who signs on as a hopeful new model with Marg's modeling agency
(it takes about fifteen minutes to go from filling in the application to
having her first orgasm at the hands of her new mistress). Dan is
Marg's husband. Lee is the other live-in sex slave. Later, they
recruit another new slave, Daisy (sometimes called Diasy). Various
other masters get involved, as well as other slaves. There are road
trips for fashion shows, sleepovers, weekenders, and lots, and lots, and
lots of fun, innocent, sex. Oh yeah, Diana happens to be black, and Lee
is Oriental.
This is a light-hearted sex romp as seen through a pair of rose-tinted
glasses, with some pretty good, moderately inventive sex scenes. Mind
you, the prose is sometimes rather overbearing, especially when it comes
to the master/slave relationship. For example, the evening of the day
Marj and Diana first meet, shortly after Diana has moved in with her,
Marg says:
"You must accept that your future is in my hands I control your life
completely. From day to day, even hour by hour, you won't know what you
will be ordered to do next. Just remember, that your submission must be
absolute. You will submit you body for sexual intercourse to me, or if I
decide to someone else, without hesitation, the instant I give the
order, any time of day or night. Remember that it doesn't matter who
that person is, what they look like, what race or what age. When I
assign you to someone else, that person will own you and has the right
to use you for his or her sexual enjoyment, until you are returned to
me. You will satisfy the sexual desires of that person, performing any
sexual act ordered. You will be totally at his or her mercy. You must
submit yourself totally in every sex act, no matter who you are assigned
to. You are now in sexual bondage and submitting your body to other
peoples lust is your only purpose in life"
And Diana replies:
"Oh yes, I understand mistress, I will. I'm so happy."
Watch out for missing, extra, and misplaced quote marks and commas, as
well as many misused possessives and plurals (Daisies is *not* the same
as Daisy's). Despite the overwriting and rampant bad English, this is a
pretty entertaining read. (320k long, 60,000 words)
Ratings for "Model Sex Slave"
Technical merit 7
Plot and character 8
Appeal to reviewer 9
"Fair Warning" by Carol Parsons (myescape@voyager.net). Guest review by
Sven the Elder.
The writer allows herself a little indulgence at the start to advertise
her site and phonesex service. Hmm... Ok, there are others who do that,
but they do it at the end and put a warning of the fact at the top. I
don't care for either, but that's a personal thing, though I know it
bugs others as well. It's stretching the use of the ng and I hope it's
not going to become a common thing. It's one thing to say that I have my
other stories archived at this url, but.........
That's got that off my chest. Now I have a bigger problem to deal with.
The story itself. How can I put this - I've seen this one before, or
something very, very like it. I remember a similar story line almost
three years ago. I have been back through my archives and I can't turn
it up - I really must get down to indexing things! Perhaps someone else
will turn up the detail, for the review I will assume that it's a
different story, but plagiarism I detest. Good Lord above - that's two
things off my chest in two paragraphs, If I'm not careful I'll have to
go and lie down in a dark room for a moment or two! <grin>
I liked the story - a young woman, who helps run a leisure park, is
walking through it after hours and gets accosted by a friend. They then
have it away on one of the rides. There is more to it than that and the
story is well written to boot. I have a little difficulty with one
aspect - it is my experience that these rides, even, or more especially,
when run slowly make the devil of a noise. In real life something like
this would be liable to bring the police department, the fire department
and probably, if near the coast, the coastguard as well. Quiet they are
not; with that minor flaw the story works well.
Ratings for "Fair Warning"
Technical quality: 9 - Nothing discernible to spoil the reading
pleasure
Plot & character: 9 - A little stilted, with worrying aspects over
the noise levels
Sven (appeal to reviewer): 9 - Enjoyable, but not steaming! <grin>
"Raunchy Rosie" by Jack Aubrey (spad@goodnet.com). Guest review by David
Rills.
Rosie doesn't appear to be especially raunchy, although she clearly
likes to fuck. The narrator has just bought a boat and invites Rosie to
join him for a weekend sail. That's pretty much the plot. After beer
and sandwiches, the couple meet below for a good screw.
While there isn't much of a plot, the author has done a good job of
describing the sex scenes. The couple start out below, each disrobing
the other, have a sensual love scene, and then go for a swim and a quick
game of "grab ass". They return to the boat deck and Rosie sexually
finishes off our hero.
Along with the well described sex scenes, the author throws in enough
wit and witticism to keep the reader entertained. The story starts off
uneventfully but as one continues to read along through the piece, one
comes to enjoy the story. While not a classic, it's a good story well
worth the reader's time.
Ratings for "Raunchy Rosie"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 5
David (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "The Adventures of Me and Martha Jane" by Santo J. Romeo
(73233.1411@compuserve.com). I first reviewed this story in CR 18,
which was posted on September 9, 1995. At that time I gave it a 5. It
was a good story, I said; but I was genuinely pissed off because it just
ended in the middle of nowhere. I further refused to read any more
parts of the story until the author would assure me that he was
finished. I was tired of this neverending story crap.
Well, the author has finished the story, and it has been worth the wait.
I saw a message on a.s.s. that compared the author to Harold Robbins.
That evaluation is not far from the mark.
The narrator is presumably a man in his fifties, retelling a story of
his youth. At the beginning of the story, the 6-year-old Steven
(Speedy) harbored a wonderful, non-sexual admiration for Martha Jane,
who was nine years older; and she showed a reciprocal respect for him.
The two lived next door to each other in a federal housing project
around 1950 and shared a common front porch. The focus of the story is
the maturation and fulfillment of their relationship.
Although the early lines of this story hint of sexual activity, the
first several paragraphs are devoted to demonstrating that the
protagonist of the story was a precocious child - not a sexually
precocious child, but a run-of-the-mill precocious child. This full-
life focus continues throughout the story, and it emphasizes that the
hero and Martha Jane should be regarded as whole persons, not as simple
sex objects. The development of non-sexual aspects helps set this story
in a truly rich and interesting psychological and emotional environment.
The story is one of the longest coherent stories I have seen on this
newsgroup, but it is also one of the best.
Certainly there is moral ambiguity in the story. For example, near the
beginning the mother tells the young Steven that pregnant women get that
way by eating too many popsicles and that babies come from storks.
Shortly thereafter, Martha Jane corrects this stupid explanation by
playing with his penis to give him a hard-on, while giving him an
accurate biological account of the facts of life. If I had a son, I
wouldn't try either of these approaches to sex education. It's
interesting that normal society rejects Martha Jane's approach - to the
extent that Redbook and the Sunday supplements would never even consider
publishing an account like this without labeling Martha Jane a pervert;
but sitcoms routinely laugh about the mother's explanation.
I'm running the risk of preaching to the choir here: most readers of
this review are likely to be predisposed to want to like a story like
this. On the other hand, large numbers of equally civilized readers
outside a.s.s. would react to this story as an example of perversion.
Most of us will counter by describing these people as sexually repressed
puritans. And so forth. I think we should be willing to simply admit
but tolerate the moral ambiguity of the story. It's fiction and it's
interesting. There's nothing perverse in setting aside our moral
scruples and enjoying a good story. Millions of American high schoolers
are required every year to read Edgar Alan Poe's tale about a pervert
who tears the heart out of an old man and buries it under the
floorboards in his house. We practically require these students to set
aside moral scruples and to enjoy the beauty of this atrocity. I'm not
recommending that we make "Martha Jane" part of the sophomore
curriculum; I simply think adult readers can set aside moral reactions
long enough to enjoy this story without taking a position that it would
be "better" if all children grew up this way.
When I myself was a young baby-sitter, I did not give head to any of the
children I cared for; and I would hope that my own daughters likewise
refrain from that practice. The psychologists and counselors who
suggested to the narrator later in his life that this activity was
abnormal are quite likely right (although, again, these sages would
simply laugh about the goofy explanations of sexuality given by the
mother and other adults.). It would be much better for little boys to
receive accurate answers from their own parents and for young baby-
sitters to have internalized a code of ethical conduct that enables them
to understand their own and their clients' emerging sexuality and to
rule out genital contact without resorting to primitive mythologies.
But that still doesn't make this a bad story. One of my own favorite
novels is Betty Smith's "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn." I would never raise
my own children the way those children grew up in that story, but it's
still a good novel (and an excellent movie).
Again, I'm probably preaching to the choir. But someone is surely going
to label this story "pedophilia." There are legitimate gripes against
many pedophile stories; they essentially recommend the adoption of
lifestyles that would be destructive to children. What we need to do is
acknowledge that some stories that describe genital activities with
children have the potential to be destructive - especially those that
are simply unrealistic or that promote the exploitation of children. On
the other hand, other stories that describe genital activity with or
among children are either harmless or actually have the potential to
lead to moral or emotional growth among readers. To take a sexually-
related analogy, there are numerous examples of books and movies about
adults having affairs. Some of these are badly written or stupidly
conceived and seem to have as their only goal to degrade the value of
marriage and other permanent relationships. On the other hand, many of
these books and movies are well conceived and have the overall effect of
enabling us to understand human emotions - and, indeed, marriage and
other permanent relationships - more perfectly.
Although the most important aspect of this story is the sexual
relationship between the narrator and Martha Jane, it's not really a sex
story. Rather, it's a story about the emotional development of two
young people. Less than a third of the lines in the story are even
remotely devoted to their sex lives. The non-sex scenes are extremely
realistic and vivid, giving us information needed to understand the
background and personalities of the two main characters.
If a reader wants a source of information about how much fun it would be
to have sex with a precocious little kid, this would be a good story for
that purpose - although all the details about the child's emotions would
probably be viewed as distracting. However, I really don't think this
was the author's purpose. On the other hand, if a person (like myself)
is reading this story to obtain sensitive insights into the
personalities of two young people as they mature sexually and
emotionally, this is a good source for serious reading.
Ratings for "Martha Jane"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Behind the Bar" by Unknown Author. This is another one of the rather
lengthy postings by TheEditor. As I'll discuss below, this person
apparently has scanned into a computer a number of full-length books and
has posted these on this newsgroup. This story focuses on a common
a.s.s. theme: if a husband and wife are having a little trouble in their
relationship, one of them should run around on the other, and this will
cause them to become closer in their matrimonial bliss. In this case,
Brandy has become insatiably hungry for sex because her husband has been
out of town for a few days while he is studying for the bar. {Actually,
he's learning how to RUN a bar; but I thought it would be clever to make
it sound like he was studying law.} After Dave the Bartender fucks
Brandy, he suggests a way that they can expand the bar's clientele while
simultaneously allaying Brandy's horniness. This strategy is immensely
successful, and when the harried husband returns home unexpectedly and
finds Brandy in flagrante delicto, he smiles happily and eagerly offers
to supply a similar service to gladden the hearts of the female
customers.
As I reread the preceding description, the story sounds a bit far-
fetched. I mean, Dave and Brandy come across as counselors or social
service agents who selflessly solve the problems of their sexually
dysfunctional or otherwise needy customers. In real life it would be at
least slightly unlikely that Brandy's activity would solidify her
relationship with her husband, that Dave would suggest his plan to
Brandy when he could instead get a lot of really good sex himself, or
that the patrons of the bar would simply cheer for the lucky winners
when Dave obviously cheated in his distribution of Brandy's favors.
However, this really is a good fantasy, and the sexual action is really
hot.
Ratings for "Behind the Bar"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Memories of Underdevelopment" by Estragon
(an573847@anon.penet.fi). Erica and Leila are two fifteen year
old girls who are beginning to discover their own sexuality.
Little by little, they start with what they know about boys just
from instinct, and then imagine things together, out loud, that
they would only have let themselves imagine in private before; and
then they try some of those things out for real, on real males;
and then they build on what they have learned.
One day Erica says, "It's strange. Girls let all kinds of guys
they're going to break up with in a week touch them and learn all
about them, and their best friend who they'll love forever has no
idea what their nipples or slot look like...." And so they head
for Leila's house, get naked, and explore each other's bodies.
Sounds normal to me. Like many of Estragon's stories, this one
starts with perfectly normal, sensible activities and emotions
like these and builds to the point where readers will suddenly
realize that they are accepting as normal activities that they
would previously have viewed as bizarre.
In other words, Estragon has fiendishly combined the Socratic
dialogue with the short story and feminist ideology.
Careful research shows that males outnumber females on this
newsgroup. I can't explain this, although I'm sure Erica and
Leila could demonstrate that it is this way because women want it
this way. My point is that large numbers of male readers will
read this story and wonder whether young girls really do lie
around playing with each other's bodies, giving pleasure to each
other and devising plans for subjugating males to be pussy
whipped. {The story gives a delightful discussion of this term.}
On the surface, most men probably reject the idea as foolish; they
know their girlfriends and lovers, and these people are nice to
their male friends. But isn't it possible that that's just part
of the facade? Maybe the girlfriends and lovers are smart enough
to not let the dumb males know that they are being pussy whipped.
Maybe there really is this huge conspiracy going on, but maybe we
women are just smart enough to keep our slaves happy by letting
them foolishly believe that they are the masters. Makes sense to
me.
I truly love Estragon's writings, and I don't want to betray the
Sisterhood; but I'm going to tell you a secret. When I was an
adolescent girl, I did NOT sit around with a girlfriend and devise
ways to subjugate males. I never once stuck a boy in the balls
with the backside of a spoon, nor did I pee on a male of the
species who was begging me to do so. However, as I grew older, in
dorms and locker rooms we girls did metaphorically do these
things. Although I don't know anyone who actually did cut off a
boy's or man's testicles, I do know lots of girls who took delight
in emasculating their boyfriends in more socially acceptable ways;
and I myself often enjoyed giving one of these assholes a
metaphorical kick in the balls.
What I am saying is that I doubt that many young girls literally
do the things that Erica and Leila do; but a very large number of
mature women (myself included) read this story and say, "That's
not an entirely bad idea!"
In short, this story is sort of a thinking person's "Thelma and
Louise."
Most of my correspondents think that Estragon is a man. I have no
direct knowledge to the contrary, but I suspect that she is a
woman. If Estragon is a man, he's a genius to have insights like
this into the female psyche; and as Estragon herself would point
out, men just aren't all that smart. Ergo, Estragon must be a
woman - and a damned good writer besides. On the other hand,
Aristophanes was a man, and he wrote Lysistrata.
Don't be scared off by my references to Socratic dialogues, to
feminine psyches, and all that technical jargon. And don't you
guys be afraid that you'll become emasculated by reading this
story. And who cares if this IS reality? If Estragon is right,
you guys too dumb to realize it anyway. Just read this story and
enjoy it! If you do so and then ask real politely, maybe a nice
lady will let you get naked for her.
Ratings for "Memories of Underdevelopment"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10