Celestial Reviews 219 - September 24, 1997
Note: Authors really DO deserve credit for their work. This week I
came across a story labeled "Angie" by an anonymous author. It was
actually "Angela" by Friar Dave. There are at least three persons
currently reposting large numbers of stories. One of them appears to be
scrupulously trying to associate the stories with their authors; the
others are more lax. I honestly don't think the reposters are
deliberately deleting the names of the authors. Rather, I think these
people have been obtaining copies of stories that have the names already
deleted by someone else and are passing them on.
Whenever I recognize a story with the author's name deleted, I try to
call attention to the mistake when I repost the review. If YOU notice
similar mistakes, please call them to my attention. Of course, some of
these authors would prefer that their stories not be reposted. I know
of one author who long ago posted a story that now embarrasses him, but
someone else keeps on reposting it. I cannot solve that problem; but I
will continue to do what I can to help authors get the recognition they
deserve.
One author recently wrote to me and asked me not to review his stories
when someone else reposted them. This was because he often revises his
stories, and he does not want someone else reposting old versions. He
felt that by reviewing these stories I was given publicity to the "bad
guys." On the other hand, I know for certain of at least two very good
authors who PREFER that someone else repost their stories, because they
are no longer able to repost the stories themselves (perhaps because
they have taken a job with higher visibility or because they no longer
have easy access to an anonymous remailer). I WILL honor authors'
requests not to repost reviews when their stories are reposted by a
"mass reposter." However, until I am convinced otherwise, I'll continue
to repost my reviews whenever it seems appropriate to do so, because I
feel that I am helping the authors achieve proper recognition as well as
helping readers find good stories.
Second note: Remember the Blowjob Principle: if you like a story that an
author has posted and would like more, do something to make him glad he
gave you the first one.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my reviews
for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"The Big Time" by Michael K. Smith (emerging adolescence)
10, 10, 10
"Elevator Heat" by Unknown Author (quickie in elevator)
10, 9, 9
"A Daughter's Breasts" by Mark Aster (nostalgia & emerging
adolescence) 10, 10, 10
"The Checkout Chick" by Dexy (grocery store sex) 8, 10, 10
"Tim, the Teenage MC" by Rass Senip (mind control) - No rating
"Life Is Good" by Peyton Carlson (anal sex) 10, 9, 9
"Party" by Wollstonecraft (drunken orgy) 9, 9, 8
"Dream Team" by Unknown Author (pissing games)
8, 7, 5
Guest Reviews:
"The Black Box" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (mind control)
9.5, 8, 8
"Honey's Story" by the Flying Pen (mind control) 9, 9, 9
"Comeuppance " by Unknown Author(bdsm & revenge)
"The Betrayal" by Alex Taylor Douglas (seduction) 9, 9, 9
"Painted Ponies" by Cobalt Jade (sci fi sex) 10, 10, 7
"Career Opportunities" by Unknown Author (husband
humiliation) 9, 10, 9
"Cheryl: An Icy Hot Layover in Chicago" by Unknown Author
(slut wife) 9, 7, 5
Reposted Reviews:
* "Angela" by Friar Dave (emerging adolescence) 10, 10, 10
* "Campus Crusade" by Sean (sex in public places) 6, 6, 6
* "Creative Interlude" by Ann Douglas (sex fantasies of a
smut writer) 10, 9, 9
* "Ergonomic Chairs" by Rajah Dodger (sex in the
workplace) 10, 8, 8
* "Chastity" by Radchick (rape) 5, 3, 3
* "DNA" by Stephanie (Transgender) 10, 10, 10
* "Dorothy Does Oz" by Shelby Bush (movie parody)
10, 10, 10
* "Dog Breath" by Dafney Dewitt (domination & submission)
10, 10, 10
* "Doppelganger" by Unknown Author (TV parody)
10, 10, 10
* "Carear Opportunities" by H.R. (wife watching & anal sex)
8, 8, 8
* "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (slut training) 10, 10, 10
"The Big Time" by Michael K. Smith (mksmith1@swbell.net). The 18-year-
old narrator is sunbathing on the patio when she is surprised by her
little sister's boyfriend, and so she has a little fun by flirting with
him and getting him to ogle her. Then she gives him some sex education
- simple things like how to apply sun tan lotion, how to French kiss,
how to suck nipples.... The kid takes lessons really well. Then the
next day he applies what he has learned to the narrator's younger
sister. In addition to being sexy, this story is actually kind of
touching.
Ratings for "The Big Time"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Elevator Heat" by Unknown Author (Posted by J. M. McMurray at
RNRH85C@prodigy.com). Lance is an electronics repairman who is riding
the elevator to the 43rd floor with Tiffany Wilson, a movie star who is
a really effete snob, as someone said back in the 70's, when he wasn't
talking about the nattering nabobs of nihilism. Somewhere around the
35th floor, the elevator loses power, and the two people are stuck
together. Then things really heat up - climatically, that is, since the
air conditioning is no longer working. Then things really heat up -
romantically, that is, since blonde actresses with nice tits who are
eager to give head are often less snobbish than they appeared at first
encounter.
Ratings for "Elevator Heat"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"A Daughter's Breasts" by Mark Aster (myfrthal@aol.com). The nubile
teenager roles over and smiles at her father. "Fuck me, Daddy! Cum all
over my tits! Put a baby inside me!" That's the sort of plot that this
title might suggest; but since Mark Aster wrote this story, it's nothing
at all like that. The father does not spray his spunk all over her ass
or even talk dirty about buckets of cum in ways never seen before on the
Web. Instead, we have a meditation by a father on the emerging
adolescence of his young daughter. The Old Man recalls his own youth
and wonders what the current agents of chaos are thinking about when
they put the moves on his little girl.
Ratings for "A Daughter's Breasts"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Checkout Chick" by Dexy (padiday@hotmail.com). The man finds
himself getting a hard-on while he's checking out the checkout chick in
the checkout line, and the young lass at the cash register does nothing
to alleviate his needs - until a day or so later when she is riding her
bike and runs over his cat's tail and has to come into his house for
some medical attention.
This is a sexy adolescent fantasy. I would suggest more careful
proofreading to correct minor grammatical errors and a few
inconsistencies - e.g., if the buyer pays in dollars, the money is
usually called a bill rather than a note. Otherwise, this is a very
good first story, the moral of which is don't checkout the checkout
chick unless you're willing to reciprocate her blowjob.
Ratings for "The Checkout Chick"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Tim, the Teenage MC" by Rass Senip. This is a very long mind control
story. The author asked me to review at least the first three chapters;
but that's 224 pages, and I just don't have time to do that - I would
have to set aside ten 22-page stories to accommodate that request. And
mind control just isn't my thing. Like many of the guest reviewers in
this issue, I don't see the fun in having complete control over someone
else's mind and emotions. To seduce me, a mind control story has to
have a twist - and this one may have that twist, but I just have not had
time to look.
From what I have seen, this story is supposed to be written from the
perspective of a teenager, and it does have that teenage aura to it: a
focus on clever details and doing everything imaginable. What it seems
to lack is (1) the adult perspective of having fun with contradictory
emotions and (2) the passion that arises from actual experience.
I get the impression that mind-control aficionados might really like
this story.
(No rating)
"Life Is Good" by Peyton Carlson (frenchyiii@hotmail.com). I found this
story in the postings recently, and I also found it stored on disk under
the name Uncle Fred (UncleFred@usinternet.com). Go figure. I guess
they could both be the same person. When I read this story I had the
deja-vu feeling that I had already reviewed it - perhaps under a
different title; but my records don't support this belief. If anyone
can help me, I'd appreciate the information.
Anyway, the man has been making detailed plans to take his wife out for
a fine dinner and then to bring her home and fuck her in the ass. She
has a good thing going: she seems to enjoy the anal sex as much as he
does, and he throws in some very nice rewards. I'd like to see a little
more spontaneity, but this is a very good story.
Ratings for "Life Is Good"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Party" by Wollstonecraft. Three guys and three girls gather for a geek
party. Everything is very dull until somebody breaks out the beer and a
sexually explicit computer program. They chug the beer and follow the
computer's instructions into progressively more stimulating sexual
activities. Everybody has a great time and all the girls get pregnant.
The sex is really graphic and stimulating, but I found the focus on
impregnation to be a bit distracting. I also wondered why nobody
vomited.
Ratings for "Party"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Dream Team" by Tinker (Reposted by who@why.not). This story is based
on the premise that it is fun for a young man to watch a bunch of
cheerleaders piss in their pants, and that the cheerleaders naturally
get turned on when he wets his pants, especially if he dresses like a
girl when he does this. You didn't know this sort of thing went on?
Well, neither did I. It just doesn't sound like fun. However, if the
idea of a team of cheerleaders pissing themselves to orgasm turns you
on, this story may be for you! {I expect immediate notes of gratitude
from all my reviewers, thanking me for not sending this story to them.}
Ratings for "Dream Team"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"The Black Box" by Emerson Laken-Palmer (Reposted by who@why.not). Guest
review by Anne747.
I'm trying to think of a way to review this story without giving away
the plot. So, I'll say the story is about mind control with a twist. I
guess I don't get the point of mind control stories. The biggest charge
I get out of sex is knowing the other person (or people) want to have
sex... and with me. Oops, since we're talking about stories, make that
with each other. A magic box or special powers just don't seem all that
sexy.
When you meet someone that might not want you, well, the fun part is
getting them to the stage where they do want you. The slow seduction
can be a great thing. It can be hard to translate this well into an
erotic story. Having a `magic' solution just seems like an easy way out
of explaining the scene, and making it more realistic.
Don't get me wrong, this isn't really a bad story. You will have to
read it to see what I mean about the twist. I should mention that it's
also an interracial story. The narrator wonders about his own racist
attitudes at times. The thing is, I wonder if a black woman would ever
shout, even in the throes of lust - "Lick my nigger pussy, white boy!"
I suppose the answer is you never know. There is a lot of overkill on
the description of the woman in my book. However, I know this is put in
to emphasize the black/white relationship.
Ratings for "The Black Box"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 8
Anne747 (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Honey's Story" by the Flying Pen. Guest review by Wherryman.
A popular theme at the moment on a.s.s.m is mind control; several
stories on the subject have been posted. One of the definitive series
seems to be 'The Book' by Blackie; and although that remains unfinished,
others have been written about the same culture/universe, such as 'Tim,
the Teenage MC' by Rass Senip.
These are both well written, with good characterization and, most
important, they tell a good story - I hope 'The Book' gets finished so I
can find out what happens to 'The Institute'. They are also 'hot' - as
you might expect with red-blooded characters who can both read and
reprogram minds at will.
One trouble I have with the mc theme is - where's the challenge? If you
CAN reprogram minds then a never ending supply of sex slaves is ensured.
But isn't some/most/all of the thrill, and ultimately of the
satisfaction, in the chase, the seduction? In fairness, this dilemma IS
addressed in the stories I've mentioned, at least by the main
characters; but in "Honey's Story" it becomes the main focus.
The narrator, visiting another city, is looking for some company, and
notices Honey returning with some friends from lunch. He contacts her,
mind-to-mind, while she is at work; and although he initially allows her
to believe she has been able to break the link, the next day he
'suggests' that they meet for a drink when she finishes work.
His problem is to seduce without control, hers is to remain loyal to her
husband. How the relationship unfolds over several meetings is told in
a well written and interesting story.
The Flying Pen has written a story about 'The Institute' but that's the
only other one I've seen so I don't know whether mc is a constant theme
in their stories. I shall be looking for more in either case.
Ratings for "Honey's Story"
Technical merit 9
Plot & character 9
Appeal to reviewer 9
"Comeuppance " by Unknown Author (Reposted by who@why.not). Guest
review by BronwenSM.
The narrator is infatuated with a woman he sees as a free spirit -
sexually inventive, exhibitionist. They get into all sorts of games,
including a spot of bondage. They also work together in a dreck job for
an unpleasant man who lusts after her.
She thinks up a plan to get their revenge on this creep, which they
carry out. Only it doesn't work out at all as our hero expected......
This is an odd story. It reads as though it were written by two very
different people. The beginning gives us beauty, character and
personality. The rest deteriorates into dull caricature. It taught this
reviewer a lesson. If you are going to make your characters do
inexplicable things, don't start out by giving them personalities. If
you do the reader is looking for some sort of motivation - and if none
is provided he or she will feel cheated.
I kept wondering why this apparently real guy suddenly lost all
scruples, all commonsense - in fact behaved like a bad sex story. And
this was because the beginning was far more promising....
My personal guess is that the first part is a good description of
something within the author's experience. The second is a poorly-
constructed fantasy. Sorry to be mean, but it just doesn't work. Not
sexy, either. Too many mixed signals. All bad writing would've been
hornier, but I'd rather see this writer come up with a whole story that
matched the excellence of some of the early part of this one.
"The Betrayal" by Alex Taylor Douglas (atd@anon.nymserver.com). Guest
review by Mike Hunt.
Alex is a sleaze who sets up a scenario in which his wife Deb has an
affair with his friend Eric. She doesn't want to, of course, but Alex
is so conniving that it has to happen. And it does. The scenes of the
seduction are sexy and fairly well written, save the occasional
intrusive comment or observation from the author.
The format and set-up are even fairly original, with Alex forcing Deb to
write the story in her own words, and then commenting on it along the
way. That is sometimes distracting, but at other times gives another
perspective on a scene that enhances the reader's pleasure. It is worth
noting, however, that Deb's and Eric's writing styles are virtually
identical. Maybe they had the same English teacher in school?
Anyway, it's a pretty good read, but there are almost a half-dozen
introductions, and you're up to page 5 before anything remotely
interesting begins to happen. A better writer finds a way to introduce
the characters, background, and other story details besides "OK, reader,
here are 3 pages about how beautiful my wife is, and where I live, and
what my job is." This writer spends a lot of energy (mine, not his) in a
boring litany of "My measurements are 34D-24-35." and "My breasts are
quite firm" etc.
As I say, a decent read, and probably worth your while. Skim the intros
and you'll enjoy it. "The Betrayal" is a fine little morality play in
five acts.
Ratings for "The Betrayal"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Mikeus (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Painted Ponies" by Cobalt Jade (cobaltjade@aol.com). Guest review by
Kim.
Celeste tells me she keeps trying to find me stories to review that I'll
enjoy. Problem with that is, that whilst I might be happy, you'll all
get bored as I review the same type of story over and over again.
Thankfully she's come up with yet another extraordinary story that I
probably would never have read otherwise.
This story is firmly planted in the virtual world, explored by such
films as The Lawnmower Man, Strange Days and Brainstorm.
A female virtual world sculpture, Trish, has a thing for imaging
carousels. At the same time she's busy trying to ignore the advances of
a fellow programmer, the odious Alec. Working late one night, on her
latest creation, she is mentally taken over by Alec. As she points out
to him, this is an outrageous act in the field of virtualising.
Having wrested control from her, he proceeds to force his twisted sexual
appetites on our hapless heroine. First she is morphed into a female
half horse half human and then bondaged into her own carousel. Alec
beats, humiliates and finally rapes her senseless. At one point Alec is
seated in a saddle on horse Trish's back, at the same time as he's
screwing her. Now I'm not a horse rider myself, but I'm not at all sure
this is technically possible.
So how does Trish react to this? Well, what do ya know, she LOVES it.
Hmmmm... I can't help but feel that Trish would think nothing of the
sort. What we have wondered into here, I fear, is not so much the
virtual world of Trish and Alec, but the rather more stagnant backwaters
of Cobalt Jade's mind.
It's not even a moral piece; when Trish is given back mental control and
has the opportunity to either leave and blow the whistle on Alec, or to
wreak revenge in some appropriate manner, she isn't even allowed to do
that. A glitch in the program keeps them both prisoner and relentlessly
rapes them both all night long. They are eventually unhooked the
following morning by fellow workers, as they both make something of a
spectacle of themselves on the carpet.
After all that, what does Trish do? It's obvious really, she forms a
company to create virtual sex worlds with new found partner Alec, and
they both go off, hand in hand, into a millionaire's sunset. Aw, I love
a happy romantic ending.
What's a reviewer to say about such a story? Well, for one, it's
extremely well written. Parts of it a genuinely arousing, and it all
hangs together well. But... why does such a talented author stoop to
such a dissolute premise, that all a guy has to do to succeed with a
woman is to rape her into submission? There is the mildest of hints that
Trish might actually appreciate this behavior, when Alec tells her he's
read her intimate e-mails, but that's it as far as reasoned behavior
goes. Not good enough in my book. Now I don't quite share Anne's flat-
out horror at the use of rape in a story, but I do think it's beholden
upon the author to put it in some sort of perspective, other than the
old cliche of "well, women love it really, don't they?".
Ratings for "Painted Ponies" by Cobalt Jade
Athena (technical quality): 10 (Can't think of anything bad to
say)
Venus (plot & character): 10 (I didn't like Alec, but I can't drop
1 for that)
Kim (appeal to reviewer): 7 (Taking someone really against
their will shouldn't be sexy)
"Career Opportunities" by Unknown Author. (Reposted by who@why.not).
Guest review by BluePencil. {Note from Celeste: After I read
BluePencil's review, I thought this story sounded familiar. There
couldn't be TWO stories with this incredibly unique plot, could there?
So I checked my database; and sure enough, I HAD already reviewed this
story. The original author - a chap named H.R. of Rochester NY - had
given it the clever title "Carear Opportunities." When who@why.not
reposted it, he "corrected" the spelling, thus eliminating the intended
pun that the woman was advancing her husband's career by using her rear.
Anyway, I am reposting my review with the other reposted reviews. I
gave this story slightly lower ratings, but BluePencil threw in a rant
that pretty much coincides with the reasons for my lower ratings.}
<Rant On>
Husband Humiliation stories are a major genre on alt.sex.stories: the
ineffectual husband whose lovely - but usually naive and unadventurous -
wife is seduced, blackmailed, or coerced into wild sex with another man.
The other man is usually handsome, arrogant, and a big dick. Or he has
one; the authors of these stories often confuse the two concepts.
Often, the other man is also hubbie's boss; I suppose this is to allow
the wife to sympathize when her husband complains about how the boss
screwed him over at work.
By now, the astute reader may have the impression that I dislike Husband
Humiliation stories. Actually, I sometimes enjoy the stories - it's the
people in them I dislike. The term "spineless brain-damaged clueless
twits" seems appropriate. For some reason - perhaps the same one that
totally eliminates abortion in rape stories - the oppressed couple NEVER
dreams of getting a good aggressive lawyer and suing the #@$%#$ out of
their tormentor. No, instead the wife learns to LOVE performing the
most depraved acts demanded of her, whilst hubby grovels ecstatically.
Don't get me wrong, folks - as long as everyone involved is happy about
it, sex is wonderful. And if you and your lover get your jollies in
trying to beat Annabel Chong's all-time gang-bang record, go to it. I
have this long-time fantasy involving myself, my Highly Significant
Other, a couple dozen of our closest friends, and a gorilla in a police
uniform. I'm lying. About the police uniform, at least. It's just that
I have this urge to offer any would-be sexual blackmailers a dynamite
dildo and some nitroglycerin lubricant. And I mean this in the NICEST
way.
<Rant Off>
Got though all of that? Good. Surprise, boys and girls - much to my
own amazement, with all this backlog of feeling about the genre, I STILL
liked this story.
At first, it has all the standard hallmarks: the hardworking lawyer
husband, the beautiful-but-inhibited wife, the slave-master senior
partner who lives his life in perpetual dread of Preparation H . . .
Our Hapless Hero comes home from a business trip a few hours early to
discover his boss at the house, performing all kinds of lewd, lascivious
acts upon his wife's previously pristine pussy and posterior. Rather
than bursting in (presumably, to grovel - husbands in these stories
NEVER seem to fight back) Hubby waits till his wife is alone before
confronting her.
What comes next? Read the story. Despite a few earlier signals, the
ending owes more to O. Henry than Parker or Boswell.
Ratings for "Career Opportunities"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot and character): 10
BluePencil (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Cheryl: An Icy Hot Layover in Chicago" by Unknown Author (Reposted by
who@why.not). Guest review by DG.
This story is fairly well written and has a good premise, but I found it
rather disappointing, partly because of the execution of the story, and
partly because of my own tastes. The narrator arrives at Chicago's
O'Hare airport only to find that poor weather has canceled his flight
home. In the crowded airport lounge he meets up with a married couple
and their male friend, and they are surprisingly sympathetic to his
plight. So sympathetic, in fact, that they invite him to stay the night
at their house. As it turns out, the woman is one of those "slut wives"
who, I only recently discovered, comprise a whole sub-genre of sex
stories. The lucky narrator and his three new friends spend a wildly
enjoyable evening fucking and sucking in front of the fireplace,
stopping only to recharge their batteries with some of Chicago's world-
famous pizza.
This is actually a pretty good way to plot a story like this. I found
the execution somewhat awkward, however, especially in the beginning.
The author injects a lot of realistic detail into the setup, describing
the airport and his efforts to find a hotel room, but this ends up
backfiring on him. By the time the narrator meets the other couple, we
are involved in what appears to be a very realistic story. There is
nothing realistic about the way he ends up going home with his new
friends, however: he just sits down and says hello, and they are off to
the races. The point is, the story would have worked better if the
author had just jumped right into the sex. Another thing that was
annoying is that the narrator keeps foreshadowing some sort of surprise
or revelation regarding his relationship with his own wife. But then
nothing happens - the author apparently forgot all about it, and just
left it hanging.
The sex itself is realistic and well-written. As I mentioned above, I
think this story would be categorized as "slut wife." I had originally
thought that the appeal of this type of story was the voyeuristic thrill
a man would get from watching his wife having sex with other men. But
the focus of this story, and perhaps of the genre, is different: the
sex is an excuse for outwardly straight men to engage in "acceptable"
gay behavior. By acceptable, I mean that the men don't actually have
sex with each other, they just have sex right next to each other at the
same time. The real thrill is having sex with a woman after she has
already been with the other men. This is a well-established kink: in
the old days a freshly-fucked woman was known as a "buttered bun," and
some men like to have sex with a prostitute just after she has finished
with her previous customer.
In this story, there is a specific focus on having oral sex with the
wife in order to consume the other men's semen. While this made me wish
that I hadn't decided to read the story while eating my lunch, I'm sure
it will appeal to some people, and that's fine. In fact, if that is a
particular fetish of yours, I think you will enjoy the story. If you
can take it or leave it, like me, then I don't think there is enough
good stuff here to recommend this story.
Ratings for "Cheryl"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 7
DG (appeal to reviewer): 5 (but see comments above)
* "Angela" by Friar Dave (friar_dave@mhbbs.com). {This story was
recently posted as "Angie" by Anonymous. It is actually "Angela" by
Friar Dave.}
Friar Dave is a little hard to figure out. Some of his stories show us
that pushing kids into early sex can be really bad for them. Other
stories, like this one, demonstrate that a young girl can have a great
time with no ill effects by making it with an older man. This is a
really hot, sexy story. Now I'm going to discuss the legal. ethical,
and personal issues. I'll try to be interesting, but if you don't want
to read that part, skip to the ratings, which say that this is an
excellent story.
Would I like to have had Angela's experience when I was 12 years old?
Actually, no; but I was a different type of kid. But would I like to
have been like Angela and then have had this experience. Yes, I have to
admit it sounds really neat: my first sexual with an experienced guy who
cared about me and thrilled me to consecutive orgasms while he teaches
me how to make tender love to him - what's there not to like?
Would I like my daughters to have Angela's experience? Again, in the
context described in the previous paragraph - why would I want to keep
them from this kind of pleasure and growth experience?
The problem is that real life does not match fantasy. In the movies
there are car chases in which cars routinely zoom down crowded sidewalks
and nobody gets hurt. Those are exciting car chases and interesting
fantasies; but in real life police departments have rules about "hot
pursuit," because they know that innocent people would be killed or
injured if they did what the cops do in the movies. It's the same with
sexual stories; we need to differentiate between fantasy and real life.
Lots of kids who start having sex when they are twelve find that they
can't stop it once they have started and wind up with seriously
dysfunctional lifestyles. I've discussed this in my review of "Marie,"
and I won't repeat that discussion here.
So my advice to my daughters is to stay away from dirty old men and not
to seduce the nice men they meet. On the other hand, they can fantasize
all they want. Likewise, had I not been religiously repressed, I wish I
would have had fantasies like this back when I was twelve.
What's a guy supposed to do if a nice, cute kid comes into his house and
innocently wiggles her ass in front of his nose? He should be friendly
and persuasive and do whatever it takes to decline the opportunity.
Really. He should consider the possibility of either discussing the
matter with the child's parents or encouraging her to see a counselor.
Really. He should in the future avoid placing himself in compromising
positions. Then he should go off by himself and either jerk off, visit
his adult lover, or take a cold shower - or maybe write a hot story for
this newsgroup. Really.
{Parenthetically, even though I enjoyed this story and gave it high
ratings, I would probably prosecute an adult who would conduct himself
this way with my underage daughter. It wouldn't be an automatic
reaction. I'd look at the facts of the actual situation, but I agree
with the notion that 12-year-olds who say they want to have sex with an
adult are usually not responsible for their actions, whereas the adult
is.}
Ratings for "Angela"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Campus Crusade" by Sean (megason@mail.utexas.edu). Who@why.not
reposted this without attributing it to an author, but I think my
citation is correct. The title refers not to a religious endeavor, but
rather to a loose organization of adventuresome couples on a college
campus who have sex all over campus - bathrooms, study rooms, library
desks, elevators, offices, and anywhere else they can think of. The
ideas are great (hedonistically, not morally, of course), but there
needs to be a little more development. And there would be no serious
objection to adding some punctuation.
Ratings for "Campus Crusade"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
* "Creative Interlude" by Ann Douglas (AnnDoouglas@aol.com). We start
in the middle of a hot story. Then we discover that the real story is
about Sondra, who is writing a story for a.s.s. While she writes, her
fantasies bring her into the lives of the people she is writing about.
This is an interesting story. As a reader, you can fantasize that you
are a writer fantasizing about the people you are writing about for
readers like yourself!
Ratings for "Creative Interlude"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Ergonomic Chairs" by Rajah Dodger (Reposted by who@why.not). The
women work industriously at their desks for long hours. Most of them
would rather break a date than be late coming back from lunch. Why?
Because the chairs are developed on the basis of the "intermittent
reward theory of positive reinforcement." What is there about these
chairs that makes these workers such happy campers? Use your
imagination. After all, this story is not posted on
alt.furniture.stories.
Ratings for "Creative Interlude"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* "Chastity" by Radchick (radr0x0rs@aol.com) Playa is a guy who hates
Chastity, because she's always trying to break up the relationship
between himself and his girlfriend, whose name is Whore. Later,
everybody marries everybody else, and they all live happily ever after.
I think this is a morality play without a moral. It's convoluted and
weird.
Ratings for "Chastity"
Athena (technical quality): 5
Venus (plot & character): 3
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
* "DNA" by Stephanie. (Reposted by who@why.not). About every two weeks
I get an e-mail message from someone saying, "I know you don't like TG
stories, but would you mind reviewing this one?" Actually, my record
with TG stories is pretty good: I think I've read six of them and rated
all of them 8 or better. The reason I don't review more of them is
simply a matter of time: there are a lot of other stories that I need to
read and review. In addition, the good TG stories that I've read have
been rather long - but worthwhile.
What appeals to me most about these stories is that they tend to be
clever: they examine interesting "what if" possibilities in creative
ways. "DNA," like several other TG stories explores the question, "What
would it be like if a man were suddenly transposed into a woman's body?"
These role-reversal stories almost always look at how a guy (or girl)
feels when he/she is forced to deal with events from the perspective of
the previously opposite gender. This is fun, but the basic plot has
been tried many times, and it could become boring. What seems to make
the idea persist is that authors look for creative complications to
interject into the plot. This story has several creative ideas.
At the beginning of the story the young man gets turned into a clone of
his female boss's beautiful teenage niece by a genetically engineered
virus that alters the recipient's DNA. The first interesting
complication is that when the boss needs someone to look after the
guy/girl while she's away from the house, the only eligible candidate is
the niece herself. So we have the guy/girl being looked after by a girl
who is essentially his/her genetic twin. Next the guy/girl gets seduced
by the boss's boyfriend. Not too unusual so far - but suddenly it
becomes apparent that the virus can be sexually transmitted, and so the
boyfriend starts to mutate into another clone of the niece.
"Fortunately," the mad scientist manages to inject a different strand of
DNA into her soon-to-be-former boyfriend. This terminates his
transformation midway - so this guy/girl has the upper body of a woman
and the lower body of a man, but a different man than his original self.
(Incidentally, all intellectual powers seem to remain those of the
original owners, although emotions tend to shift with the body parts.)
Interestingly, I found several points in this story when a character
became angry and could have shouted to someone else, "You can just go
and fuck yourself!" This could be taken as a literal rather than
metaphorical statement - in more ways than one. You'll have to read the
story to figure out what I'm talking about. One unrealistic element is
that when Julie gets transformed to Jim, her brain continues to reside
in her head, instead of where it resides in most men. <chortle, chortle>
If, like most Americans, you had a really bad biology course in high
school, you will have the good fortune of thinking that the biological
aspects of the story are at least remotely realistic. On the other
hand, if you are like most a.s.s. readers (intellectually as well as
sexually acute and inclined to be skeptical about simplistic ideas) or
went to school in New Zealand, you'll realize that even if viruses and
DNA worked the way they do in this story, the rest of the human body
wouldn't. Don't let that bother you. Consider the story to be science
fiction, and know only what the author wants you to know.
Perhaps I'm making this sound too complex - almost silly. That's the
value of a story like this - it IS silly, but silly in a very clever
way. I'm not going to tell you any more about the plot. Read it
yourself. I'm pretty sure the virus cannot be transmitted through the
Internet - except for AOL users using Windows 95. In that case,
however, you already have problems that are much more serious than
having your gender changed.
Ratings for "DNA"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Dorothy Does Oz" by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com). In the early
paragraphs of this story we meet Dorothy, a smart-assed farm girl about
to celebrate her 18th birthday, and Toto, the cute little dog that
specializes in licking Dorothy's clit. The farm hands are planning to
give Dorothy a sexual treat on her birthday. Since the tornado arrives
while Dorothy is masturbating, she initially confuses it with a really
good orgasm. Dorothy's house is swept up by the tornado and lands on
the Wicked Witch of the East, who had been prohibiting the Munchkins
from any pleasures - including you know what. After spending some time
in the ensuing orgy, Dorothy starts on her trek along the yellow brick
road, where she meets and attempts sex with the Scarecrow, the Tin Man,
and the Lion - among others.
After some adventures and other preliminaries, they meet the Wizard, who
promises to grant their every wish; but first - and here's the kicker -
they must bring him the dildo of the Wicked Witch of the West. I don't
want to ruin the story; if you've seen the movie, you'll be able to
guess major parts of the plot anyway. All I'll say is that the story
ends with Dorothy waking up in her old bedroom as the three hired hands
enter the room, all naked and their erect cocks in their hands. "Happy
birthday," they shout in unison; and Dorothy exclaims, "There IS no
place like home!"
Ratings for "Dorothy Does Oz"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Dog Breath" by Dafney Dewitt. (Reposted by who@why.not). The author
prefaces this story with the following disclaimer: "The intent of this
story is to elicit disgust and poke fun at stories featuring humiliation
and submission by using a soap opera type melodrama to help maintain the
suspense. If you finish this story feeling just a little queasy, if you
have a sudden desire to brush your teeth, then this story has
accomplished its purpose." The author carries off this parody
beautifully.
The gist of the story is that the heroine hears voices that tell her
that in order to obtain sexual fulfillment she must, among other things,
jerk the dog off and swallow his cum. A serious cliffhanger moment
arises when she has to kiss her husband - the stranger's urine on her
sleeve is innocuous, but she is afraid that her husband will slip her
the tongue and discover that she has dog breath. This may sound goofy;
but parodies are SUPPOSED to sound goofy - it's the parallelism between
the goofy and more serious events that gives a parody its punch. This
is a very good parody.
Let me preface these next few paragraphs by saying that I do NOT think
that everyone who reads or writes bdsm stories or who practices a
variation of bdsm is necessarily a loony or a danger to society. My
problem is that I sometimes read stories that appear to me to be just as
grotesque as this one; but they are not parodies - I'm supposed to take
them seriously. For example, I may read a story in which a man inflicts
pain on a woman in such a way that my common sense tells me that she is
experiencing degradation very similar to that described in this story.
As I read it, I say to myself, "This is weird. The author must be
kidding." I look for a disclaimer, and there's no indication that the
author is kidding; the writer really seems to believe that people can
express love by giving and receiving degradation. My usual reaction is
that such a story is not very realistic.
Occasionally one of the authors will write to me after I post a review.
The message will essentially tell me that I "have a problem" with bdsm.
I have missed the point; the people in the story really love each other.
{Or women really enjoy getting raped or being pissed on or whatever it
is that I didn't understand.} These people usually assure me that they
are sane and productive members of society, and I believe that
assertion. My question is why do they assume that I am the one who has
a problem?
Note that if I knew the lady in this story in real life, I would assume
that she was seriously dysfunctional. If she asked my advice, I would
suggest she see a counselor. Unless I am missing something, she is not
leading a "productive alternative lifestyle." She needs to get her act
together. My problem is that the characters in some of the "serious"
stories are just as dysfunctional, but readers are supposed to assume
(without any further evidence) that their behavior is a realistic
depiction of what normal people do.
I may be arrogant, but it is my belief that the AUTHOR has the
responsibility to express ideas in such a way as to communicate a story
to his/her audience. The stories to which I give relatively low ratings
for lack of realism (usually stories that involve bdsm, water sports,
rape, or pedophile behavior) are usually written in such a way that
INSIDERS will enjoy them. In other words, a person will enjoy the story
if he or she already believes that it is productive to express love by
torturing a partner or who thinks that kids who are molested by adults
normally experience no ill effects. However, I review the stories as
what I'll call a "mainstream" reader of erotica. If the authors want to
include people like myself (and that's a lot of readers on this
newsgroup) in their audiences, then it seems to me that it is THEIR
responsibility to help the rest of us understand why the story is
realistic rather than silly.
In other words, the author of the present story shouldn't have had to
tell me that this was satire. As I read the story, I should have been
able to say, this is so silly that he must be kidding!
Please note that I DO frequently give high ratings to bdsm, water-
sports, rape, pedophile, etc. stories. This happens not only when they
are parodies (as in this case) but also when the authors present the
story in such a way that a non-insider like myself can see the point. I
think the greatest short story ever written is "Telltale Heart" by Edgar
Alan Poe. I don't think it is a good idea to kill an old man because I
don't like his eye and then to bury him under the floorboards; but Poe
wrote the story in such a way as to make me believe that a really
strange person might in fact do the things that happen in that story.
When I find stories that describe aspects of life that are unfamiliar to
me, I appreciate them. Not only do I enjoy them - I also grow by
reading them. My suggestion here is that authors whose stories are
based on counterintuitive premises should assume the burden of
communicating their stories realistically to the rest of us. That's
part of being a good author.
Ratings for "Dog Breath"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Doppelganger" by Lori Grenci. (Reposted by who@why.not). A
doppelganger is a sort of a ghost that duplicates an existing person.
For example, if there really were such a thing as a doppelganger, I
could probably watch X-Files and still have time to read these stories
and write these reviews. I would accomplish that by having my
doppelganger watch the television, while I worked on the Internet. Of
course, if I had a doppelganger, I'd be a damned fool to waste it on X-
Files. Indeed, if I had a doppelganger, I guess I could - in a limited
sense, of course - literally follow the advice of a very angry student
and "go fuck myself!" I suppose not everyone can have a doppelganger.
If doppelgangers were ubiquitous, the O.J. Simpson case would be even
more confusing than it already is. Imagine that!
Since I don't have a doppelganger (nor am I a doppelganger myself), I am
unfamiliar with the TV show called "The X-Files." Based on what I have
learned from the story, I would surmise that Scully and Mulder are FBI
agents on that show. Scully is a very attractive doctor or medical
technician of some kind, and Mulder is a very serious man who possesses
a certain charm and some kind of paranormal powers. They apparently
have a very straight, almost stoic relationship. I say this because the
satire in this story seems to be directed toward the idea that it would
be unusual for Scully to passionately jump Mulder's body. The key
element of the story is that while they are attending a boring seminar
at a university in Cathedral Hill, North Carolina, without the agent's
knowledge Mulder's doppelganger makes passionate love to Scully two
nights in a row, and then Scully is perplexed over the fact that her
partner has no recollection of their mutual affection on the mornings
after. As the story evolves, we learn a few additional interesting
facts about doppelgangers. This was a very good, well-written story.
A very good English teacher once told me that if I used a word correctly
ten times it would be mine for life. I have now fulfilled that
requirement, and so a doppelganger is now mine for life. I'll let you
know if my sex life improves.
Ratings for "Doppelganger"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Carear Opportunities" by H.R. (betrue@delphi.com). The lawyer
is hoping to become a partner in the law firm, but he discovers
that his boss wants to fuck his wife as a pre-condition. No
problem; and this even turns the shy little lady into a really hot
bitch. I really doubt that many marriage counselors recommend
this strategy, but it's an interesting fantasy, which will appeal
mostly to guys who have trouble impressing their wives on their
own. {The title is spelled that way because the boss teaches the
wife to like anal sex.}
Ratings for "Carear Opportunities"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* "Mercedes" by Morgan Preece (zanna@whoever.com). The narrator is a
gigolo, I suppose; he hangs onto his piece of life by latching onto
older women, who like him for his good looks and the sex he is able to
throw their way. As he says, " Sex is all in the mind anyway and I
approached each woman as an intellectual puzzle subject to physical
manipulation, like one of those multicolored cubes. But things begin to
change one day when he tries to seduce a rich woman who drives a
Mercedes. He finds himself trapped, enslaved; and he undergoes
experiences that had never even occurred to him before.
I usually don't like sex-slavery stories or those that involve piercing
and diapers; but I did enjoy this story. It's hard to explain. I
recommend you check it out for yourself.
Ratings for "Mercedes"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10