Celestial Reviews 216 - September 13, 1997
Note: A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise
anecdote containing these five elements:
- religion
- excitement
- royalty
- sex
- mystery
The prize-winning essay read:
"My God!" exclaimed the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my
reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Ripe" by BronwenSM (pregnant sex) 10, 10, 10
"Business Meeting" by Tokugawa (romantic tryst)
10, 9, 9
"First time in the Mouth" by Unknown Author (humor)
10, 8, 8
Guest Reviews:
"One Moment in Time" by Ann Douglas (cyberlovers meet
once) 6, 8, 9
"My Fantasy" by Deborah Leigh Johnson (TG) 9, 7, 8.5
Reposted Reviews:
* "The Fortieth Floor" by Asshmuck (utopian sex) 10, 10, 10
* "Art Museum" by TRANE and Wildfire Paradise (sex in
near-public) 8, 6, 7
* "Good Grief" by SueNH (surrogate sex) 10, 10, 10
* "Aerobics Is Good for Your Sex Life" by Wyvern (Sex &
Aerobics) 10, 10, 10
*"Three's Company: ... All Cats Are Gray" by Uncle Mike (sitcom
parody) 10, 9, 9
* "A Fly on the Wall" by P. D. Michael (voyeurism) 10, 10, 10
* "Spanish Lessons" by P. D. Michael (wife-watching) 8, 8, 8
* "Cotton Dresses" by P. D. Michael (sex with aunt) 9.5, 10, 10
* "Call It Even Someday" by P. D. Michael (blackmail & revenge)
9.5, 7, 8
* "Stake Out" by P. D. Michael (outdoor sex) 10, 9, 9
* "The Light In Mother's Window" P. D. Michael (exhibitionism)
10, 10, 10
* "Snow Cave" by P. D. Michael (cold threesome) 10, 9, 9
* "A Rude Awakening" by Michael Dagley (reformed
virgin on a binge) 10, 10, 10
* "Three Wishes" by Sandman (magical breast growth) 10, 9, 9
* "The Fourth Ring" by Hunter Jackson (wife watching) 10, 10, 10
"Ripe" by BronwenSM (bronwen@anon.nymserver.com). I was once in a
graduate course where, for some reason, the professor showed on
the big screen a picture of a woman with really large breasts. I
think the purpose was to demonstrate the impact of distractions on
meaningful information. The professor asked us to summarize the
contents of what we had seen and, of course, none of us could do
this, because we were all overhelmed with the thought of those
magnificent tits or related events. However, as soon as he asked
the question, one lady shot her hand up, and said, "The whole
thing reminded me of the value of motherhood." She was serious,
but the rest of us howled with laughter.
So in this story we have a women who is obscenely large, cradled
like a peach in packaging, a pillow between her thighs, another
under her belly, three supporting her head and shoulders, a melted
pack of peas between the soles of her feet, sweating bullets in
the hottest summer of hot summers, and yet she is beautiful.
Maybe you have to have been there - or gotten somebody there; but
pregnant sex can be beautiful, even in Great Britain.
This is a very nice, romantic, sexy story.
Ratings for "Ripe"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Business Meeting" by Tokugawa (Reposted by ). The man has had a
hard day but manages to drag himself back to his hotel. He is
even too tired to notice that his lover has somehow preceeded him
to his room and had begun foreplay without him. When he
eventually notices, a good time is had by all. Then he discovers
that SHE is his next day's business appointment.
Ratings for "Business Meeting"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"First time in the Mouth" by Unknown Author (Kristen's
collection.) Listed as "mouth.txt," this one is short and cute.
The set-up leads you to believe you're going to find some oral
passion, and that's what you get - sort of.
Ratings for "First time in the Mouth"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"One Moment in Time" by Ann Douglas (AnnD@NYCPipeline.Com). Guest
review by Fiddler.
Ann Douglas made quite a reputation on alt.sex.stories. This
isn't one of the stories which made that reputation, but it shows
one of her strengths as a writer.
Two married successful women, one an ad executive on the East
coast and the other a naval pilot in California, have had an
electronic romance. They finally get together when the ad
executive flies to California to make a presentation. Then they
part -- except electronically -- forever.
The sex explains Ann Douglas' reputaion. The description was hot
enough to persuade this hetero male that a strap-on dildo was
sexy; and Aster had never accomplished that.
The negatives range from simple grammar and spelling to the
backgound of the story. (The opposite of win is LOSE; the
opposite of tight is LOOSE. Even on Usenet.)
The frame of the story includes anticipation of a longer time
together, disappointment at that and acceptance that they couldn't
meet, and the meeting as a surprise. But we are _told_ all but
the surprise, rather than shown it. Likewise, at the end of the
meeting, they resolve that it was wonderful but not something that
they could afford to repeat; and we are told their conclusion.
Either we should have been shown the anticipation and the
disappointment, or the background should have been simpler.
Ratings for "One Moment in Time"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 8
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 9 (The sex WAS hot.)
"My Fantasy" by Deborah Leigh Johnson (Debi). Guest review by Vicki
Tern.
Since this is a TG fantasy, first, un peu d'histoire -- as the Michelin
guidebooks say -- about TG reality, so we can tell who's scoring
fantasies without a scorecard.
All nature/nurture arguments to one side, it seems a given percentage of
males (1%? less?) and half that number of females (more? many more?)
discover in mid-adolescence that they would enjoy taking on most or all
of the attributes of the other gender, and no later than their mid-life
crises that they want to do something about it. Nothing for it, they're
transgendered (TG)
If male, their femininity calls and they must obey. Some are
transvestites (TV), crossdressers who satisfy themselves by cultivating
erotically charged feminine appearances, wearing dresses and makeup, at
home in the closet. They 'express their femininity" at great risk to
their respectability if found out, and at greater risk to their
marriages ("SICK!" goes the reflexive judgement, or at least "ABSURD!,"
though real shrinks know it's no big deal, only one more
sex/gender/behavior compulsion mismatch of the many Nature provides).
Eventually they may find support groups of like-compelled people. Many
of those who can't comprehend their compulsions go self-destructive,
trying drugs, suicide, or macho military service (a high proportion do
exceptionally dangerous things for their country with great distinction,
some even while wearing their pretty lingerie). The most courageous and
the most timid of crossdressers alike cope daily with fear of exposure
and humiliation, knowing that as John Wayne put it, "A man's gotta do
what a man's gotta do."
Some are transsexuals (TS), not men who must express their femininity
somehow, but men who have felt since childhood that they are in fact
women in the wrong bodies. Nature does this to some men and women too -
- bodily sex and gender identity are quite distinct, though usually
matched up so no one notices. Sexual preference is also quite distinct
from either of these, as any masculine gay man in love with another
masculine gay man can testify, or any bull dyke in love with a femme
woman. Whatever they are in sexual preference, most transgendered
people remain -- heterosexual or bisexual or gay. Men, or former men,
mostly continue to prefer women as sex partners, though some
transsexuals are surprised to find that their affections change with
their bodies when they go though surgery and hormone replacement.
Transsexuals have an especially hard time of it, because if they finally
do decide to become women in body and social identity as well as in
mind, it usually costs them their wives, families, children, jobs,
reputations, and income. It ain't easy bein' green, as Kermit the Frog
tells us about living in a pink and brown world, but green they are.
Even so, thousands every year do what they gotta do and pay the price,
or else commit suicide.
Almost done lecturing, smutlovers, hang in there. Now, we all know that
straight or crooked, erotic fiction sneaks around our censors and self-
censors to give us the worlds we wish we inhabited at our horniest, not
the inadequate worlds we do inhabit. TGs usually live compromised and
in fear of being compromised, and in their shadow worlds they too try to
preserve whatever they can of what we all want. Few dare enact every
fantasy they dream, and some not any. So for them, TG fiction tries to
make up the difference. In TG fables, because of blackmail, coercion,
deceit, drugs, extortion, hypnotism, magic, or other correlatives for a
TG's own inner compulsions, guiltless men become women in appearance and
social roles, even in their sexual preferences. In fact in TG fiction
all girlfriends and wives *want* their men to become women, and all
mothers feminize their sons "so they'll learn to behave". Moreover,
when the process is completed, nearly all of the "new women" would make
Sharon Stone as green as Kermit. There is always a marvelous mirror
scene where the femininity desired is seen to be the feminine image
achieved, and the new woman falls hopelessly in love with herself,
hooked. Then later in the fiction, not the fact, that femininity is
ratified by passionate "heterosexual" lovemaking -- a man makes sure the
TG'd proto-woman knows how to suck cock, then enters whatever her
openings, so in the end she's been well and truly laid as a woman
(sorry!), as well as hooked by her appearance.
TGs who have settled for half a loaf in real life read TG fiction for an
imagined and idealized description of the other half loaf, using
imagination to balance out fear and desire for what they will never have
(mostly transvestites do this -- transsexuals are more intent to acquire
reality for themselves at any cost). Others not outright turned off by
TG stories may read them for what they imply and reveal about gender
identity, sexuality, compulsion, sexual humiliation, betrayals, dom and
sub, S and M, moral quandaries, and other such good stuff. Or simply
for a good read. True, much TG fiction reads like articles in
"Seventeen" intended to teach a girl how to dress for a date, listing
item worn by item, fetish by fetish. But good fiction is good, as they
say, irregardless. I myself write TG stories because I love the
effortless superiority genetic women enjoy in them over hapless TG'd men
and wannabe women, but I also like stories that are crafty, cunningly
plotted.
"My Fantasy" author Miss Deborah Leigh Johnson ("Debi") writes about
transsexuals who dress like women and are persuaded they are women, and
then enjoy deeply satisfying sex with men (I've read eleven of her
stories thus far, all like this). The main characters may briefly think
they're men, the young ones anyhow, and may at first therefore resent
being thought faggots who suck cock. But they aren't gay -- by the time
they're actually lavishing affection on some guy's cock, they are doing
so as women, and so in effect we are witnessing straight sex.
Debi's aren't really conversion tales -- the main character is too
quickly seduced into panties if not already a committed TV or TS.
Rather, they show how a shy, hopeful narrator chooses or is required to
be a pretty young woman, risks rejection, timorously overcomes his own
fears, gives great head and sometimes also delicious anal sex, and then
finally yields up her heart (*her* heart in the end) to a nice man who
has just received plenty of reason to appreciate her. That's "My
Fantasy" too, though with a difference.
Choosing outfits, dressing, putting on make-up, and filling one's purse
for the big date takes up even more space than the sex in Debi's tales,
reminding us that for many TG writers and readers dressing up and
otherwise acting out what nice women do routinely *is* the sex. But
there's also a tremulous first-love coltishness, a sweet innocence in
her stories. They're idyllic accounts of virginal cherries taken and
true love returned. The narrator is sorta nice, a lot nicer than many
of the guys who fuck her for the first time in each story. And the
stories are themselves sorta similar in sensibility. Debi the writer is
a hopeless, head-over-heels romantic -- though she does vary the
vulnerability as well as the age and circumstances of her narrators, in
the end their hearts are as filled with gratified, transplendant love as
their mouths and tummies and rear ends are happily filled with cum.
In Debi's "My Fantasy," we find an interesting variant. A transvestite
seventeen-year old boy who loves to dress like a cute girl in secret
(Mom doesn't mind as long as he picks up afterward), who loves swishing
his hips as girls are wont to do, tells how he is discovered doing just
that by his somewhat boorish best friend "Brad." A cliche fear, so far,
of most TG stories. Brad requires as the price of silence that this
"foxy chick" service him, as girls are wont to do, with hand and mouth,
now and forevermore. Not unusual in TG stories. Required to act out
feminine sexual feelings, the boy finds in the intensity of tonguing
Brad, sucking his cock, embracing him, and otherwise pleasing her man,
that he is much more satisyingly a girl, in fact that he is a girl, a
true repressed transsexual. That's almost original, and these scenes
get pretty hot, though always controlled. As the story ends the former
boy in girls' clothes acknowledges that she's really a lovely girl
appropriately dressed, and is grateful to Brad for forcing her to
acknowledge that fact.
So it's a conversion tale after all, and skilfully done. Leaving aside
Brad the Boor's unsuitability as swain to this delightful young thing,
the easy simplicity of the gender change (now you see him, now you
don't), Debi's assumption that the hallmark of femininity is
submissiveness (right, Celeste?), and also anyone's justified moral
resentment of extortionists (I get too mad to enjoy the self-abasement),
the story has real charm. It's pure the way those pastoral poems are
pure that various Corydons have penned to various Phyllises ever since
Virgil, yet it also describes the pleasures of enforced, then hesitant,
but finally devout cock sucking in loving detail. It can be read as a
straight girl's sexual inititation, as Brad himself chooses to see it
(strictly oral sex), or a girl's first crush. That it's also about a
TV's ecstatic faith that clothes make the girl, and a TG's discovery
through submission to another boy that he's really a girl (really a TS,
to complete this alphabet soup), adds a wishful grace note. Any TG can
enjoy this one, though it isn't Debi's best. Others can find in it
their own equivalences, or else turn it off and look instead at whatever
M1ke's felt up to or gotten into lately.
Ratings for "My Fantasy"
Athena(technical quality): 9 (point off for stylistic sameness)
Venus(plot & character): 7
Tern (appeal to reviewer): 8.5
* "The Fortieth Floor" by Asshmuck (Repost from who@why.not).
This story has no author on its title line. I have it in my files
as "edited" by Asshmuck.
The most significant characteristic of the fortieth floor is that
the people who "work" there don't actually do anything except have
sex whenever they want to do so. What kind of place is this? Is
this a government job? Is this where those AOL consultants go
when they're not giving advice to confused a.s.s. users? Is this
heaven? You'll have to read the story and find out. It's a
creative story; and I might add that my description of this as
"utopian sex" is not all that far off.
Ratings "The Fortieth Floor"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Aerobics Is Good for Your Sex Life" by Wyvern (Repost from
who@why.not). This story was reposted as part of the collection
from the "Vault," under the title aerobics.sty. However, I have
had terrible luck getting complete stories from that series, and
so I cannot recommend getting other stories from that source.
Maybe that service will improve. It sounds like a good idea.
Here's a review of the one story I did download.
Imagine that you are an overweight, middle-aged man who has
decided to get his act together by doing some exercise before his
heart stops functioning completely. I know this will be a stretch
for most male readers of these reviews, who are almost unanimously
young, virile, and amorous hunks. But for the sake of discussion,
assume that you were such a person and you signed up for aerobics
at the local YMCA and the cute young aerobics instructor made you
an offer you couldn't resist. To wit, as the lawyers say: if the
party of the first part would meet his weight goals by a
designated date, that party would be invited to the rustic cabin
of the party of the second part for a weekend of fun and frolic as
a reward for his good behavior. Not a bad idea! Needless to say,
the protagonist meets his goals and becomes a veritable stud.
Let's hear it for positive reinforcement! The author presents the
story very well, and the sex (which he refers to as vanilla) is
actually pretty hot. I thoroughly enjoyed this story. Maybe
YMCAs would be a lot more popular if they had more programs of
this kind.
Ratings "Aerobics Is Good for Your Sex Life"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Art Museum" by Trane and Wildfire Paradise (Repost from
who@why.not). {This is a repost of a review from my very first
issue of CR.} The interesting thing about this story is that it
was coauthored by two people over the Throbnet BBS. As near as I
can figure, the two authors have never actually met in person.
The story's format consists of several reciprocal e-mail
transmissions among the authors, in which each message builds upon
the story as it has been set up by the preceding message. In
these messages the authors evolve a story about two people making
love in a limousine on a ferry boat on the way home from the
Seattle Art Museum. At times the authors seem to want to
coordinate their efforts; and at other times they seem determined
to throw a curve ball to the other by changing the situation
abruptly to see what the other will do next. It's an interesting
format, and it results in a sexy story. On the negative side, I
think the authors followed the sex story formulas a little too
closely - getting in one and only one of every position and every
term for a pussy or cock. In addition, although I liked the give-
and-take atmosphere, it would have been possible to do some
editing at the end of the joint project to coordinate things just
a little better. Finally, if they're going to call the story "Art
Museum" instead of "Ferry Ride," it would have been nice to bring
art into the story a little more. All in all, however, this was a
pretty good story.
Ratings "Art Museum"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7
* "Good Grief" by Sue (SueNH@aol.com). I often hear the refrain,
"All those fuckin' stories on a.s.s. are the same!" Every once in
a while, I start to believe it and think that I have seen (or read
about) everything. Then I run across a story like this to
reinforce my belief in creativity. I don't know what I can tell
you about this story without ruining the plot for you. The action
takes place in a cemetery and in a motel shortly after the funeral
of the narrator's close friend. The sex is both tender and hot.
You'll just have to read this excellent story to find out the
details.
Ratings "Good Grief"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Three's Company: ... All Cats Are Gray" by Uncle Mike (Red Dragon
Repost). In this week's episode Jack rushes into the bedroom to save
Janet from a rapist, but it turns out to be her boyfriend, who departs
in anger. To make amends, Jack is required to finish what the boyfriend
had begun - a sort of surrogate coitus no-more-interruptus. Well, this
event changes their lifestyle; but since Chrissy is such a demure young
lady, Jack and Janet feel obligated to avoid scandalizing her. What
Jack really wants is to boink Janet's cute little asshole, but she won't
permit that, but one day Janet and Jack blow a fuse while they are
making love and a casserole, and Jack goes to fix it, and Chrissy comes
back from someplace, and Janet goes someplace else; and so Jack sees
Chrissy's asshole in the dark and thinks it's Janet's and starts fucking
it, but then the lights come back on and Janet says, "What's this?" and
they all laugh and fuck like bunnies in heat.
Ratings for "Three's Company
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "A Fly on the Wall" by P. D. Michael (pdmm@interlog.com). Two
beautiful librarians were painting the condominium that they shared.
Because it was hot and because they were hot for each other, they were
naked. The intercom buzzed, and the doorman said they had a visitor.
When they asked who it was, he answered, "A blind man." Being very
chaste women, they would normally have gotten dressed before letting a
caller into the room, but since the guy was blind, they just said, "Send
him up!" and continued with their work. When they heard a knock at the
door, one of them swung the door open in her naked splendor, and the
young man gawked at them, and a tent suddenly appeared in his pants.
When he recovered his voice, he asked, "Where do you ladies want these
venetian blinds?"
That joke was originally about nuns, but I decided to give nuns and the
Amish a break this week.
The present story is about a blind woman. A young voyeurist takes
advantage of her blindness and sneaks inside her apartment, so that he
can gaze upon her naked beauty without her knowing that he is there -
like a fly on her wall. The woman masturbates in front of him. {I
suppose maybe that's how she got to be blind.} Well, she figures out
that he's there {the guy was so horny that even I could smell his precum
across cyberspace}, but she doesn't get upset. Instead, she invites him
to have passionate sex with her. It's a very good story, but not quite
as good as my librarian joke.
Ratings for "A Fly on the Wall"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Spanish Lessons" by P. D. Michael (pdmm@interlog.com). The husband
has been fooling around; and the conservative, virtuous wife has become
upset. To set matters straight, they decide that she should have a
fling of her own. Once the wife discovers the thrill of infidelity,
there's no stopping her. The husband finds his pleasure in watching her
get boinked by Raoul and his friends.
Ratings for "Spanish Lessons"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* "Cotton Dresses" by P. D. Michael (pdmm@interlog.com). The narrator
has a bit of a fetish for girls in cotton dresses. It stems from the
day that he first copped a feel from a girl in a cotton dress. The girl
had told her mother, and the two of them had come to his aunt's house
(where he was staying) and demanded that he be punished. While they
berated him, he became visibly turned on; and this simply stimulated the
vicious circle of arousal, if you know what I mean. Anyway, the aunt,
who also owned several cotton dresses, found it necessary to give him
some sex education. The story never does mention what the boy's
punishment was.
Ratings for "Cotton Dresses"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Call It Even Someday" by P. D. Michael (pdmm@interlog.com). The
narrator's sister-in-law, Cheryl, is a snotty bitch who always puts him
down in front of other people. An opportunity to gain revenge arises
when he happens to see her with another man. He gives her the impression
that he has tapes of their romp at the motel, and the blackmail project
is underway. So he has sex with her and humiliates her and lives
happily ever after. It's a pretty good (but not quite complete) story.
Ratings for "Call It Even Someday"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
* "Stake Out" by P. D. Michael (pdmm@interlog.com). Some guys who have
been long-time friends take their wives camping in Algonquin Park in
Ontario. One day they play a game where each of the wives is taken to a
secluded spot in a game of hostage. She is blindfolded and tied to a
stake. The wife who relates this story is pleasantly surprised when her
husband returns and starts to fondle her. Just prior to entry, the
blindfolded woman realizes that it's not her husband after all!
Ratings for "Stake Out"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "The Light In Mother's Window" P. D. Michael (pdmm@interlog.com).
Back in the 1940s the kids used to hang out after dark and look through
windows to see who was getting naked and who was getting screwed. A
primary gathering place was outside the window of the narrator's mother.
Even the narrator himself used to spend hours outside Mom's window,
watching her play with herself or with someone else. Mom was a virtuoso,
but that doesn't mean she was a virtuous woman.
Times have changed. Back then, people didn't have air conditioning; and
so they left their windows open, and the kids had something to look at.
Nowadays, we have air conditioning, and most people close their windows
and their curtains; but kids have dirty videotapes and sex on the
Internet. Maybe that's what's wrong with the baby-boomers! They grew
up after air conditioning but before vicarious sex had become easily
abundant.
Ratings for "The Light In Mother's Window"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Snow Cave" by P. D. Michael (pdmm@gold.interlog.com). Maude has been
abandoned by her husband in a blizzard. She and two men have burrowed
into a snow cave, where it is necessary to cuddle together to keep warm.
Of course, it also helps to do something that generates a little heat in
order to maintain the level of warmth needed to sustain life. The idea
of making love with two eager strangers in a cocoon of sleeping bags in
a pitch dark cave certainly does have its erotic elements. With any luck
there'd be a snow cave for the night.
Ratings for "Snow Cave"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "A Rude Awakening" by Michael Dagley (dagley@soho.ios.com). I
really hate this story! I sat down about 45 minutes ago to read a
story while I ate lunch. I had with me two ham sandwiches, a can
of Diet Coke, and an 18-ounce bag of potato chips. I would read
"A Rude Awakening" for ten minutes while I ate lunch and then
prepare my classes for the first week of the new school year.
I am now one chapter - 10,770 words and approximately 12 ounces of
potato chips - into this story; and I can't stop. My husband is
not home; the kid across the street is mowing the lawn, sweating,
his muscles glistening in the sunlight; Kathy Ireland is looking
down at me from my husband's calendar with a cum-hither look that
would give me blue balls if I had balls; and I have my classes to
prepare for a new semester. What's a girl to do? I guess maybe
I'll just read another chapter and see if this feeling goes away.
Well, I read TWO more chapters, at which time there was a lull in
the action. Then I fixed dinner and read four more chapters.
Then I had to wait for the author to post the rest of the story.
Frustration Station!
This story contains an amazing blend of voyeurism and direct
sexual contact. For example, at one point Joey is getting head
from Mrs. C, who is insisting that he describe to her what he did
with her daughter earlier that evening, while Joey is making
direct eye contact with the daughter, who is safely hidden and
masturbating behind the mother's back. This is hot stuff.
I noticed the title words, "Rude Awakening," several times in the
story. The first context stated that at the time of the story,
(June of 1965) graduation from high school would be a rude
awakening: war, racial strife, assassinations, drugs, and other
problems. Like many good titles, however, this one has more than
one meaning. The second time the phrase occurred was after Joey
and Terri had made love; it was a rude awakening for Terri to
discover the power of her sexuality. The term pops up several
other times in the story. The most significant meaning of "rude
awakening" is not specifically stated - just strongly implied.
The story begins with Joey an immature, sad, sexually-repressed
young man. He takes no chances with girls and women, because he
is afraid they will consider him to be rude. His friend and lover
Alice tells him he needs to risk being rude once in a while. When
the rudeness in him "awakens," he becomes a more mature, happy,
sexually responsive person. In fact, he becomes the neighborhood
Lothario - a term which you can either look up in your Funk and
Wagnalls or infer from the context of the story. And then he
discovers that he has lost something special - another rude
awakening.
What do women really want? Polite men or rude men? The answer is
that different women want different blends; and even the same
woman may want a different emphasis at different times. Also it
depends on what you mean by "rude": in this story rude means that
a guy does something that a girl will like, in spite of the fact
that a social custom or the girl's inhibitions might oppose his
action. I myself have been known to use the phrase "Shut up and
kiss me" - or an equivalent, more emphatic phrase, which would
indicate a demand for less "politeness." A very important moral
to this story is that it is often necessary to take some risks in
order to be happy. A very wrong conclusion would be that the
rudest asshole gets the girl - or the guy.
This author's greatest strength, I think, lies in his sense of
timing. For example, he has the ability to make me think I'm
witnessing two people getting hotter and hotter until they can't
stand it any more; and I can almost feel it when they explode. He
seems to have an intuitive grasp of what to tell me and when to
tell it to me in order to maintain my interest. My husband has a
similar ability, but he accomplishes this effect through direct
access to my body parts.
The main "weakness" to this story is that at times the author
seems to want to cram too much sex into it. I have a theory about
why the author has done this. I suspect that he has contacted a
publisher (whom I know and respect, but will not name in this
review) about publishing a version of this story as a novel; and
that the publisher insisted on more instances of explicit sex. In
fact, the publisher I am thinking of makes specific demands, such
as (1) a wide variety of sex that is likely to be perceived as
kinky, and (2) at least two separate instances of specific sex per
chapter. I know of at least one good author who has simply
stopped writing erotic stories because he felt that these demands
compromised his literary integrity.
I may be off the track in suggesting that the present author has
"padded" his story with extra sex in order to appeal to a
publisher. I do know that there are several instances where the
storyline seems to take an unnecessary turn that is unrelated to
the overall plot. However, not too many readers are going to
complain about "too much hot sex," and so I'll let these
"digressions" slide. What I do know is that I review another
story ("Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil) in this issue of
CR that is every bit as good as this one: and that other story has
about a snowball's chance in my pussy of ever getting published by
that same publisher. It's "too long on story" and "too short on
real sex." I think it's about time that that publisher (or some
other publisher) made it clear that it IS OK to have hot sex in
the context of a good story. The world is ready for good stories
that contain hot sex - without quotas and restrictions on what
kind and how much explicit sex needs to be included in each
chapter. These stories don't need to appear on news stands in the
supermarkets; but they should be available to mature adults who
want more than a quick fix from their erotica.
As I reread the preceding paragraph, I realize I have overstated
my case; but I think I'll leave it. The present author HAS, in
fact, done a commendable job of trying to deal with the full
personality of the main character. This is an excellent story.
In fact, if I would have found this story without knowing the
author's name, I would have guessed that it was written by Delta,
who made my Top 50 List of 1995 not once but four times. That's
one of the strongest compliments I can give to a story.
Ratings for "Rude Awakening"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Three Wishes" by Sandmann. The man goes to the remote island of
Tonga to write a story about a Shaman who lives there. The Shaman, of
course, had received an MBA at an American university before he returned
to the island to carry on the family tradition. Since the Shaman values
his privacy, in return for the interviewer's promise to keep quiet about
where he found him, the Shaman grants the interviewer three wishes. The
man's first wish is for unlimited money; his second is for his
girlfriend's breast size to increase; and he delays his third till later
{the Shaman says he can mail it in}.
To be more specific, for his second wish he wants to be able to make his
girlfriend's breasts larger; but he wants this process to be absolutely
safe for her, and he wants the growth to be under his control." In
granting the wish, the Shaman adds just one condition: there will be but
a single hour during which he can cause Becky's breasts to grow, and
then only as she experiences orgasm.
When he gets home, the fun begins. Becky starts the lovemaking session
as a size A, but by the final twenty minutes she has progressed beyond
size F. Of course that's only an estimate; it might be better to use
NBA standards, since the tits seem to resemble basketballs. This may
sound like a freak show performance, but Becky enjoys it immensely - and
there's always that third wish in abeyance.
Sign from Heaven Department: I just found this Three Wishes Joke on
rec.humor. I apologize to my blonde sisters. Insert whatever you want
in place of the three blondes <interesting thought!>:
There are three blondes stranded on an island. Suddenly a
fairy appears and offers to grant each one of them one wish.
The first blonde asks to be intelligent. Instantly, she is turned
into a brown haired woman and she swims off the island.
The next one asks to be even more intelligent than the
previous one, so instantly she is turned into a black haired
woman. The black haired woman builds a boat and sails
off the island.
The third blonde asks to become even more intelligent than
the previous two. The fairy turns her into a man, and he
walks across the bridge.
{End of Joke}
If I myself had to make three wishes, I would, of course, wish first
that love and peace would spread throughout the entire world. My second
wish would be for an infinite supply of wishes. My third wish I would
save to cancel the other two, just in case I screwed up.
Ratings for "Three Wishes"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "The Fourth Ring" by Hunter Jackson (FDDH53D@prodigy.com).
Sometimes when I read these stories I talk back to the
protagonists (inside my head, of course). I say things like, if
you have a wife with the hottest little ass and cunt in town who
is longing to be fucked but you're too dumb to notice it, you
deserve whatever happens to you. And if you're stupid enough to
make a bet with a super stud that he can't lay your wife - and if
you do this not one but three times - then you deserve to be
relegated to a role in life of licking the cum out of her cunt
after she comes home late at night after fucking him. And if
you're still unwilling to admit defeat and demand proof, then you
deserve to be stashed in the bathroom while the two of them are
fucking their brains out in the bedroom right where you can see
them. If you can't get a personality that would demand a little
attention from your wife, then you don't deserve her. Those are
some of the things that I might have said to myself while I read
this story. The title refers to how many times the phone would
ring if the guy managed to really stick it to the guy's wife.
(Rating: 10)
Ratings for "The Fourth Ring"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Kathy" by the BEAR. This is a sensitive, well-written story
about love and sex between an older man and his young female
friend who becomes his lover. It contains tenderness, love,
commitment and care. In an epilogue, the author gives the
impression that this is based on a true story and expresses the
wish that the two live "relatively happily ever after." I share
that wish.
Since the author obviously wants to apply this to real life, I
feel an urge to express my feelings about the issues he raises.
In real life I have been close friends with a young person that
experienced almost exactly the same relationship as the one
described in the story - only it was a young boy with his kindly
and loving teacher. They were eventually discovered; and the
teacher lost his job and the boy is still sexually confused nearly
ten years later. Although some of our society's sexual taboos are
silly and it's exciting to break them, there's a reason behind
some of our taboos. When actions like those of the man in this
story become public and are based on less than perfect
motivations, we are usually shocked an disgusted by the
"exploitations" of a "dirty old man." In my own experiences I
have found that I don't always make objectively wise decisions
when I'm naked, aroused, and rubbing my body against someone; and
so having a rule against certain behaviors is a good idea. In
addition, I think I would be legitimately upset if a kindly old
man thought that my husband and I were suppressing our daughters'
sexuality and decided to "set her free." The basic problem is
that people with power over young people need to respect their
need for autonomy and growth; and this rules out pedophilia and
incest with young children.
On the other hand, I may be wrong. Some young people may actually
find things like this to be a growth experience. I really do
think that anti-pedophiles (like myself) should consider the
possibility that some people who have sex with young children
actually possess some decency and dignity - instead of just
demanding that their cocks be cut off. An objective reading of a
story like this can help us think things out. What I do know is
that I feel lot more comfortable with a great story about erotic
sex among consenting adults (like Backrub's "Showoffs" cited at
the beginning of this review or Sue's "Slippery When Wet," which I
reviewed in Celestial Reviews 2) than with this one. Still, it
was an outstanding story. I think it should be assigned reading
for the people over on alt.sex.wizards or one of the religious
groups, where they could use it as the basis for an intelligent
discussion instead of screaming insults at one another about child
molesters.
Ratings for "Kathy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10