Celestial Reviews 197 - July 9, 1997
Note: A man and his wife have been stranded on a deserted island
for many years. One day a new man washes up on shore. The new
guy and the wife are very attracted to each other right away, but
realize certain protocols must be observed. The husband, however,
is very glad to see the second man there.
"Now we will be able to have three people doing 8 hour shifts in
the watchtower, rather than two people doing 12 hour shifts". The
second man is only too happy to help and in fact volunteers to do
the first shift.
He climbs up the tower and is standing watch. Soon the husband
and wife start placing stones in a circle to make a fire to cook
supper. The second man yells down, "Hey, no fucking". They yell
back, "We're not fucking".
A few minutes later they start to put driftwood into the stone
circle. Again the second man yells down, "Hey, no fucking".
Again they yell back, "We're not fucking".
Later they are putting palm leaves on the roof of their shack to
patch leaks. Once again the second man yells down, "Hey, I said no
fucking". They yell back, "We're not fucking!!"
Finally the shift is over so the second man climbs down from the
tower and the husband starts to climb up.
He's not even halfway up before the wife and second man are
screwing each other's brains out. The husband looks out from the
tower and says, "Son-of-a-bitch! From up here it DOES look like
they're fucking!"
Second note: Taria and ButtBytr have been jousting poetically.
Well, poetry is not the real word for it - it's more like greeting
card verse, except they use expressions that are unfamiliar to Mr.
and Mrs. Hallmark. The basic gist is that Taria voiced a
versified suggestion that if ButtBytr thinks it's so much fun to
fuck a lady's ass, then maybe he should be willing to be on the
receiving end of something like a red hot poker or a nice big
dildo. I'm not going to expand my operations to include "poetry"
reviews, because I'd have to write the review in rhyming couplets
or iambic pentameter, and I can't do that as quickly as these two.
Taria has expanded the art form of her broadsides to include
limericks, haikus, and even rap poetry; but it looks like she is
losing interest in the battle, which ButtBytr seems to want to
personalize more than she does. I thought I should at least call
this escapade to your attention.
If you want actual poetry, an author named Jackie (who also wrote
"Rock Concert Coupling," which is reviewed below) has recently
posted several pretty good poems. What distinguishes her poetry
from the versification described in the preceding paragraph (which
is fun in its own right) is that Jackie actually tries to use
metaphors and interesting word combinations as well as rhymes in
order to convey images and emotions. Some of her poems are "Biking
to New Highs," " Jamaican Ginger," and "A Dark Corner Table." She
may not be Robert Frost, but she leaves John Milton in the dust.
Third Note: Q: What is the definition of wicker box?
A: It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Madonna.
Fourth Note: In CR 193 I repeated the story about a man who was
walking down the street with his wife when they saw their neighbor
(a very genial Jamaican bloke) riding by on his bike. Suddenly the
bike flipped and their poor neighbor found himself spread eagled
on the pavement.
The wife immediately said: "That black bloke's bike's back break
block broke."
I was amazed that British people can actually SAY things like that
and speculated about the problems that would have ensued had the
Jamaican bloke been a bleached blond. A correspondent called to
my attention that this sentence contains an error. Can you find
it? The answer is that "break" should be "brake." The reason I
didn't find it was because I never got that far in the sentence!
Fifth note: A problem with virtual communities is that real events
happen to the real people who comprise these communities, and it's
often difficult to know how to handle those events. For example,
I know of people who write these stories who have had serious
illnesses and other tragedies in their lives. I don't feel
inclined to share this information publicly, because that's not
the purpose of this newsgroup. On the other hand, most of us are
ordinary people - pretty decent ordinary people - who would like
to know when important things happen to other members of this
group.
Last week I had already written the review of Shelby Bush's
"Brisco County," when I received a note from him asking me to pull
the review because his wife had died and he was not going to post
the story. I removed the review but have reinserted it today,
because Shelby wrote and told me to go ahead. I suppose maybe he
just didn't want a bouquet of flowers at the funeral with a note
that said, "From the gang at a.s.s." For further details you
should check the prologue to "Brisco County." Besides bringing
joy to our lives with his own stories, Shelby has served as a
mentor or conduit for several other authors whose excellent
stories probably would not have appeared here without his prodding
and assistance. Our thoughts and prayers should be with him at a
time like this.
Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my
reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Heart" by Brother Cadfael (passion) 10, 10, 10
"Without Looking" by L.D. Vixen (exhibitionist quickie)
10, 10, 10
"T'ANG JUNZI" by John Dark (oriental sex) 10, 10, 10
"Wives Prefer It Black" by J. Greenwald (black stud story)
7, 6, 5
"My Professor" by VirginLady (sex for grades) 10, 10, 10
"Black Sandwich" by J. Greenwald (black stud story) 8, 7, 6
"Helping the Homeless" by J. Greenwald (black stud story)
8, 5, 5
"The Outdoor Concert" by Unknown Author (nearly public
sex) 9, 10, 10
"Double the Pleasure" by Unknown Author (threesome)
9, 9, 9
"Miss Please and Miss Thankyou" by Anonymous (initiation
orgy) 9, 9, 9
"Brisco County: Brass Balls" by Shelby Bush (TV parody)
10, 10, 10
Guest Reviews:
"The Book" by Slowhand Luke (teasing & romance)
7, 10, 10
"Private Room" by SpiraL (romantic sex) 5, 7, 7
"Babysitter Tales: Karen" by Daddy-O (foursome) 6, 7, 7
Reposted Reviews (because the stories have recently been
reposted):
* "Rock Concert Coupling" by Jackie (outdoor orgy) 9, 10, 10
* "Tom's Birthday Surprise" by Tom (orgy) 9, 10, 10
* "Thanksgiving" by Tom (holiday orgy) 10, 10, 10
* "A Matter Of Curiosity" by James Charles Lynn (threesome)
10, 9, 10
"Heart" by Brother Cadfael (Brother_Cadfael@Earthcorp.com). This
is a very short piece that can best be described as a prose poem
in which the male narrator describes in vivid detail to the woman
he loves what he would like to do to her. It's very hot,
pleasant, nice stuff.
Ratings for "Heart"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Without Looking" by L.D. Vixen (Kristen's Archive). For reasons
that will become obvious, this extremely short story was posted
under the heading "Ooops!" The narrator is standing at the pay
phone, waiting for Rick to arrive to pick her up. It's fun to be
picked up on the corner: she likes to pretend he is a stranger. He
arrives suddenly from behind and takes her fast and hard, while
his fingers tease her nipples and his tongue plunders her ear.
Can you believe it? They fuck right there in the phone booth!
Ooops! Guess what!
Ratings "Without Looking"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"T'ANG JUNZI" by John Dark (john_dark@anon.nymserver.com). This
was a later arrival for the Second Third Annual Celestial Short
Story Contest. It wouldn't have won first prize, but it IS a very
nice little story. Pear Blossom is a virgin in the household of
the inscrutable and despotic Wang. She is shy and demure, and he
likes her and asks her to visit him later. It's a little more
complex than that, but you'll have to read the story for the
details.
Ratings for "T'ANG JUNZI"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Wives Prefer It Black" by J. Greenwald
(j_greenwald@nevermind.com). Stories labeled "interracial" often
bewilder me. In CR 194 I reviewed "Between the Races" by
Radioman. In that story Jerry obviously got off on the notion
that the lady he was making love to was black, but it was not as
if blackness was an oddity of some sort. Likewise, Maleeka was
obviously aware that Jerry was white, but it was not as if she was
merging with the master race by being allowed to have sex with
him. "Between the Races" was a really nice, intelligent story.
This story is quite different. The author is interested in
demonstrating the generalization that white women like to make
love to black men, who call the women "'hoes" and treat them with
contempt but fuck them wonderfully with their monster 10-inch
cocks. In this story the woman sees a well-hung black man in a
porn theater, sits down next to him, grabs his 10-incher, and
invites him to their van with her husband and herself. In the van
on the way to his apartment she discovers that "black cock cream
tastes real good." She calls him "Master" while she licks "every
reminent of cum off of his cock." The first black guy has two
black friends who also have monster cocks and buckets of cum. Of
course, all of this excites the limp-dicked white husband
tremendously. There's another subplot, but I think I've told you
enough about this story.
Another interesting facet of this story is its abundant use of
apostrophes with possessive pronouns (our's, her's, etc.) - there
ain't no such thing.
Ratings for "Wives Prefer It Black"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Black Sandwich" by J. Greenwald (j_greenwald@nevermind.com).
This is another story in this author's interracial series. This
time the white man and his girlfriend get the black stud by
advertising in a swingers' magazine. Frank has the traditional
black monster cock, but he has the unusual habit of referring to
the white woman as "whore" instead of "'ho" while reaming out her
pussy, ass, or mouth. Like most white husbands and boyfriends,
the narrator enjoys this action immensely and cums in buckets. A
good time is had by all.
Ratings for "Black Sandwich"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
"Helping the Homeless" by J. Greenwald
(j_greenwald@nevermind.com). What's a crusade for racial justice
without tackling the issue of homelessness? In this episode of the
author's epic interracial series the narrator and his 38D-25-36,
twenty-one-year-old wife happen to be copulating in an alley when
they realize that they are being observed by a black derelict who
has passed out from drinking cheap wine. {The white folks are
from Down South. We know this because they say "inside of" and
"beside of." Dialect often plays an important role in these
stories.} The wife decides she wants to hire a wino to decorate
their home. No, they don't give the poor drunk a job or even
invite him to live with them, but they do make him a regular sex
partner for the wife.
Now here's the part I don't understand. The wino, being black,
has a monster cock - "at least twelve inches long and about twice
the thickness of an average cock." That part I do understand.
But because of the immensity of the black gentleman's tool, they
have to use not one but TWO condoms to cover the entire thing.
Now I ask you - how does that work? As I understand it, the man
and woman roll the guy onto his back and ease a condom down onto
his cock, but because it's twice the size of the anemic white
guy's cock, the condom covers only half of it. Therefore, they
get out another condom and use that one to cover the other half of
the cock! What am I missing here? Unless they hacked off the
guy's joystick and started from the other end, wouldn't we just
have one condom exactly on top of the other?
The woman gets pregnant by the black derelict. They don't do
anything silly like help him get into rehab or let him move into
their house. She just trots off to the alley to fuck with the guy
and leaves him money to buy slightly more expensive wine, I
suppose. The husband doesn't mind, because the monster cock warms
up his wife's gash for him every night.
As I have mentioned before, interracial sex is a sensitive subject
to me, because my sister is married to a black man. My brother-
in-law's cock is about the same size as my husband's. I know this
by indirect comparison - I got my sister drunk and we talked about
sex and the subject just came up - er, the TOPIC was discussed.
My brother-in-law is a very straight person and would hate this
story, but he'd hate any pornography, because he has religious
objections to it. I think he would be offended by the notion that
black men are presented as some sort of animal in these stories;
but he might be missing the point. These stories are really a
subset of the wife-slut genre. The guys who fuck the sluts are
really heroes, and black men should feel honored that their
brethren (usually referred to as bros) are cast in this role. Or
so I'm told.
Ratings for "Helping the Homeless"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"My Professor" by VirginLady (VirginLady@cbn.net.id). This is a
well written story. It even uses the word "sycophant" correctly.
That word has never been used in any of the other stories I have
read - perhaps because most of the ass-kissing in these stories is
more literal than metaphorical. Imagine that.
Anyway, the narrator is a bright young college student whose
English teacher is a prick who won't give her the A that she
deserves; so she goes to his house to discuss the matter with him.
So - is she going to fuck his brains out to get her grade? Or is
there another possibility. Take a look at the story yourself. I
have grave doubts that this plan would really work. In real life
this sort of thing happens about as often as a student says, "Sir,
are there any more poems by John Milton that I can read in my free
time?" But it's still a very good story.
Ratings for "My Professor"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Outdoor Concert" by Unknown Author (THC Archive). It's
probably not a really awful idea for a woman to let her husband
fondle her and practically bring her to orgasm in a really crowded
bus, especially if nobody else can see what's happening; but if a
woman does this, she should at least be aware that a forward
thrust from her husband in front my cause her buttocks to move
away and into a cock behind her and that this buttockal movement
might be considered an invitation by the recipient of the
embuttment, who quite likely would return force with force. In
such a case the woman would be in the uncomfortable position of
having dry intercourse with someone she has never even seen. In
addition, once the bus arrives at the concert, if a woman decides
to give a hand job to the person standing behind her in the crowd,
she should probably verify that this person is actually her
husband, at least if that's who she thinks it is. Finally, in the
car on the way home while she is seated in the front seat with a
good friend while the husband is snoozing in the back seat, the
woman should at least corroborate that her husband is really
asleep before she gives the driver a blowjob or be willing to
accept her husband's approach from behind while she fulfills her
oral responsibilities to the driver.
This story has some flaws. For example, if I were writing the
story, I would leave out some of the hints that it might not be
her husband whom she is finger fucking at the concert; I'd let her
(and the reader) assume without obvious hints that it's her
husband and then be surprised later. In addition, the grammar
limped a little. However, this was still a very hot story. For a
story with a similar theme, see "Rock Concert Coupling," the
review of which I'll post later in this issue.
Ratings for "The Outdoor Concert"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Double the Pleasure" by Unknown Author (Bolebec Repost). When
Karen comes home, she finds Erin with her tongue licking the final
drops of cum off Blaine's cock. Erin thinks all hell is going to
break lose, but Blaine pacifies everyone by suggesting that all
three simply get naked together. A good time is had by all. Not
exactly an original plot, but still pretty hot!
Ratings for "Double the Pleasure"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Miss Please and Miss Thankyou" by Anonymous (THC Archives). The
author could probably get in trouble for telling this story: I
think this kind of stuff is supposed to be secret, like the
Knights of Columbus handshake. What this story does is disclose
what goes on at those secret fraternity initiations! Imagine
that.
It's really quite simple. There are three people. Pledge Hardon
is required to please Miss Please - repeatedly. Miss Thankyou will
thank Pledge Hardon each time he pleases Miss Please. It may be
redundant to say this, but Pledge Hardon pleases Miss Please by
making her cum, and Miss Thankyou thanks him by making him cum.
That's not hard, is it?
Of course, the loophole is that since all three are apparently
being initiated they could simply conspire to lie about who's
pleasing and thanking whom. But they don't think of that, and
they fuck their mutual brains out all night long. Suckers!
Ratings for "Miss Please and Miss Thankyou"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Brisco County: Brass Balls" by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com).
Brisco County is not a place; it's the name of a main character in
a weekly television show that ran in America a few years ago. It
was a pretty good show that didn't catch on, and it died after
just one season. As he does with his other Porno TV stories, the
author supplies further details about the show during a
"commercial break." This story overlaps slightly with the
author's recent "Maverick" and "Have Gun, Will Travel" stories.
Finally, the story includes a science fiction element (the orb)
from the "Brisco County" series. Although I was not familiar with
this concept myself, it made perfect sense to me, and I thought
the author used the orb very creatively in this story. Although
this story appears to remain faithful to the original series, I
think even people who have never seen that show can enjoy this
one.
Brisco and Bowler are bounty hunters, experiencing adventures
while they try to get their man in the western U.S. in the 1890's.
This story follows the series pattern: a main storyline with
numerous subplots. It diverges from the TV series in that some of
the subplots include explicit sex. In addition, this story
contains one sentence that must have been spoken many a time in
the Wild West but has never appeared in any TV western: "I need
to take a whiz."
I am not going to try to summarize the story any further here.
I'll just point out that if you call this a sex story, the
emphasis should be more on story than on sex. The sex, when it
occurs, is very good, and it fits in nicely with the plot.
Ratings for "Brisco County"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
The following Guest Review was written by Fiddler, who has written
several stories for this newsgroup.
"The Book" by Slowhand Luke (slowhand@dial.pipex.com). This is a
new story rather than one of the several other stories with the
same name. In this one, the hero is startled to find an erotic
book on his girlfriend's shelves. Rejecting his suggestion that
she hide that sort of book, she suggests that he read it to her.
He does, with predictable consequences. There are no surprises in
this story, just hot teasing leading to hot gratification. A fine
time is had by all, including the reader. The sex in this story
is as explicit as any in the "mindless fuck" stories, but you end
up liking and respecting the couple.
The single problem is that the writing is marred by bloopers.
"Hef" for her and "unerneath" are not errors of spelling so much
as typing. This sentence -- and not only its spelling -- would
have been caught by a proofreader: "Returning from the kitchen,
Katie passed me a glass of wine then passed up the opportunity to
sit next to me as I had hoped, electing to arrange herself
prettily in the armchair opposite instread, with her legs tucked
up underneath her."
Slowhand is too good a writer to allow this sort of error to mar
his works. I suggest that he ask Celeste to connect him to a
proofreader. I asked, and it helped marvelously.
The sentence is not typical of his writing, and the pleasure of
the story comes through despite it.
(Personal note: Piper has caught a lot of flack for the review
*I* wrote of Taria's "Through the Looking-Glass." Say what you
want about my reviews, but spell my name correctly. -- Fiddler)
Ratings for "The Book"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 10
Fiddler (appeal to this reviewer): 10
The following is a BluePencil Guest Review:
"Private Room" by SpiraL (spiral@spiralzone.com). SpiraL has
reposted a number of stories to alt.sex.stories recently. Many,
including this one, are lightly adapted cybersex sessions.
The basic storyline is, for a.s.s, quite tame: a lovemaking
session between two consenting adults in the privacy of their
home. The sex is warm, friendly, and unhurried; the story -
vignette rather - just a frame to contain it.
Though the second-person narrative form probably works well for
private cybersex sessions, it is rather distracting in a story.
It may be a personal quirk, but I find it jarring enough to
prevent me from fully entering the story. Most sentences start
with either "I" or "You"; in a conversation this may be a
necessity, but in a story they are an unnecessary handicap that
works against the storyteller's rule-of-thumb "Show, don't tell."
Though the grammar and spelling are both reasonably good, the
story is rife with formatting errors, enough that I suspect that
many of the grammatical flaws that I found were caused by poor
formatting rather than the author's intent. Despite the revision
history and the label "complete" she gave it, the story still
feels rough and unfinished.
I didn't expect the review to sound this negative. Despite the
flaws, I found myself enjoying the story. However, if she had
recast it into either first-person or third-person form and worked
on her formatting, I would have enjoyed it much more. SpiraL has
demonstrated in some of her other stories that she can handle a
credible first-person narrative, and has all the other skills
needed to be an excellent writer. I'd be very interested in
seeing a revised version of "Private Room"
Athena (technical quality): 5
Venus (plot and character): 7
BluePencil (appeal to reviewer): 7
The following Guest Review was written by MsV, who has posted
several stories under a different name with this newsgroup.
"Babysitter Tales : Karen" by Daddy-O (cjburke@servtech.com). I
usually enjoy any kind of fantasy (or reality) that involves more
than two people. So, when the couple head out for the night, the
references to a possible threesome caught my interest.
Unfortunately there was a major distraction right from the start.
Typos! I had to finally drop it into my word processor and spell
check it before I felt I could read it properly. Well over 2
dozen typos later I felt I could have another shot at it. There
were still a few errors that could have been caught perhaps by a
second read through of the story (pooped/popped comes to mind).
Some of the descriptions struck me as odd - breasts like navel
oranges, and I've always had a thing about talking about cocks in
inches, but there were some very good descriptive phrases too.
The story is about a couple, who while out for the evening,
discuss the possibility of a initiating a threesome with the 16
year old babysitter. When they return home they catch her in a
compromising position with her boyfriend. Mock anger on the part
of the couple quickly turns into a foursome. Once the action
starts, it's fairly hot. I do sometimes lose track of who is who,
but that is often a problem of group stories. Let's face it, a
tumble of bodies is one of the appealing things about group sex
stories. What I really want to know is why I never had so much
fun getting caught with someone while babysitting?
(I'm not sure if you are going to rank them, or if I'm supposed to
- this is the part I had the most trouble with. I don't want to
completely slam it, I've seen worse.)
Ratings for "Babysitter Tales : Karen"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 7
Smith (appeal to reviewer): 7
* "Rock Concert Coupling" by Jackie (an338903@cris.com). This
story is written from the perspective of a horny 14-year-old girl.
She and her boyfriend meet in the midst of a crowd at a rock
concert; and parental fears about the orgies that occur at rock
concerts are fulfilled. The sex is hot. In fact, the sexual
enthusiasm spreads like a fever to the other members of the
surrounding crowd, and soon we have a small orgy on our hands. I
don't for a moment believe that any responsible young people
actually carry on like this. After all, I was present at
Woodstock along with 4 million other sex-crazed kids, and nothing
happened. We just held hands and sang along with the guy playing
the accordion. All kidding aside (sorta), even if we agree that
it would be a really bad idea to fuck in a public place like this,
I think we can also admit that this is a really good depiction of
the fantasies of a young adolescent girl. I know I have had
almost this same adolescent fantasy, but I was 37 at the time
One of the few flaws in this story occurred in the first
paragraph, where the narrator referred to her "unrelentless"
craving for her boyfriend. There's no such word. It's either
"unrelenting" or "relentless." I also question the use of the
phrase "unable to contain my pent-up lust any longer" after the
girl has already had at least one resounding orgasm and started to
give the guy head in the middle of the crowd. I think we're
already beyond pent-up.
The author concludes by asking if readers would like to see this
story continue. It may surprise you to know that my answer is NO.
I would prefer that the author hack off the last paragraph,
replace it with a different line or two to end the story, and then
write a second story. Authors should resist the urge to ruin a
good thing by prolonging it too long. I want more, but not
necessarily a continuation of this same story.
The moral of this story, of course, is always carry some tissue
paper in your purse in case the guy doesn't like the taste of his
own cum and you want to French kiss him after having oral sex in
public. I think the author got this suggestion from either Miss
Manners or that advice column in Seventeen Magazine.
Ratings for "Rock Concert Coupling"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Tom's Birthday Surprise" by Tom (laddie@anon.nymserver.com).
This author used to be Tom in Sacramento. Now he's just Tom.
It's good to see him resurface at his new address. I hope he
plans to write some new stories soon. Unless I'm mistaken, this
story was originally entitled "Tom's Birthday Surprise."
This is a really hot story about a man whose wife gives him a
birthday present consisting of an orgy with herself and two women
that she knows he really likes. I'm not going to tell you the
details - you can read them for yourself. Although this story has
minor flaws, it is almost non-stop hot sex. However, since I know
that many people read these reviews to improve their own writing,
let me take two paragraphs to point out how this story could be
improved.
There are two problems with this story. First, the tenses are
messed up. The author obviously intended to write in the present
tense, but he frequently switches back and forth between the
present and the past. (Note that I also have changed tenses in
this very paragraph, but I have done so correctly.) This
inappropriate switching of tenses is an annoyance to the reader.
Even more importantly, it throws away verb tense as a useful tool
in the story. Because of the author's carelessness, the reader is
forced to assume that all tenses are really the same. Therefore,
if the author really does want to convey the notion that one
action came before another, he has no easy way to do this.
The second problem arises from the discussion of emotions and
motivations during the story. In the middle of really hot sexual
activity - I think two of the female protagonists had already had
two orgasms apiece and the man was building to a earth-shattering
climax of his own {Ooops! Maybe that was me!} - they all pause and
discuss how good it felt and wonder whether it would be OK for Tom
to stick his cock up Barbara's ass. Everyone agrees that this
would be emotionally fulfilling and wonderful, and the action
resumes. I understand the author's motivation - he was trying to
show us that these are four sensitive people having non-
destructive group sex; but the pause in the action didn't quite
ring true. At a time like this it would have been better to focus
more on action and less on words - as the song says: "A little
less talk and a lot more action."
Both of these problems could be overcome by better proofreading.
The author was simply too close to the story to see what was
wrong. Recently, I posted my own story ("Virtuous Reality"). I
think mine was a good story; and I am certain that it was a much
better story after I received and reacted to feedback from two
skilled readers. I have no way to enforce such suggestions, but I
would like to urge this writer (as well as the writers of many
other stories) to incorporate improvements into their texts when
they repost these stories.
Ratings for "Birthday Massage"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* Thanksgiving" by Tom (laddie@anon.nymserver.com). Ann is a mild
mannered former toxicologist who is now a dance therapist and
active member of the local PTA. She has a great ass and a pussy
whose fragrance automatically generates erotic thoughts, even when
one's face is not nicely nuzzled where it fits best. She is
married to Tom, the narrator of the story, a handsome chap who is
a journalist. Jerry, a brilliant scholar and sexy lawyer, was the
narrator's closest friend in college and has become like a
brother-in-law to Ann. The kids have gone away for Thanksgiving,
and Jerry is visiting the couple for Thanksgiving and has brought
with him Sue, a professional masseuse who is at least as
attractive as Ann. I can identify with these people.
The story opens with Ann and Sue walking ahead of the guys on the
beach, gently swaying their cute little asses. (I hope that
misplaced modifier aroused you as much as it did me.) From this
point you can probably guess at least the general outline of the
rest of the story; but the tale is delightfully told, and the fact
that you can guess what's going to happen will not diminish your
enjoyment of this story. And besides, there are some surprises.
Now I have a confession to make - two confessions actually.
Although I write these reviews and have become a bit of an expert
or at least a connoisseur of sexual acrobatics, I have never
engaged in an orgy and probably never will. My husband and I both
understand the intense stimulation and sense of freedom that would
be present if we did it with another couple, but we also see the
value of the one-to-one intimacy that we share and don't want to
do anything to risk losing this. Nevertheless, I really enjoy
picturing in my mind stories like this - even while I am making
love to my husband
Which brings me to my second confession. Between the first and
second paragraphs of this review, I field tested this story. I
can now verify (1) that it is possible to come to mutual orgasm
with a spouse by relating the basic events of this story by the
fireplace - although it may be necessary to alter the plot to
include a bank teller; and (2) that a focus on one part of this
story seems to greatly increase the probability that the male
partner will have a roaring second orgasm. Go figure!
As I was reading this story, I couldn't help thinking that it
reminded me of several of the stories written by SueNH. This is
ironic; but you'll have to read the whole story and be at least
remotely familiar with the writings of Sue to see the reason for
this irony. I really enjoyed this story - and so did my husband,
even though he hasn't had time to read it yet.
Ratings for "Thanksgiving"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "A Matter Of Curiosity" by James Charles Lynn (Ole Joe Repost).
Debi has been contemplating having sex with another woman, but she
wants John to come along as a sort of security blanket. All goes
well, but then Amy (the other woman) realizes that John may be
feeling lonely; and so she finds a way to rectify that situation.
They eventually become happy hedonists, much like the people in
"The Trinity Trilogy" series.
While recognizing the rough spots that are likely to occur in such
a threesome, this story still manages to present some really hot
sex in a plausible context. As I have said in the past, I can
think of lots of reasons for not doing things like this, but the
notion that it doesn't sound like fun is not one of my reasons.
Ratings for "A Matter Of Curiosity"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8