Celestial Reviews 195 - July 2, 1997

Note: I was the recipient of an application of the Blowjob 
Principle this week.  One of my main goals is to make the Blowjob 
Principle as popular as, say, Murphy's Law.  That is, someday I 
hope that someone will go into the office of the CEO of a major 
company or nation and say, "You goddam idiot!  Don't you even 
understand that the Blowjob Principle applies here?  If a person 
expects to get a second blow job, the recipient should make the 
giver glad to have performed the first."  And the CEO will say, 
"You're right.  You did a good job on that project, and I 
neglected to show my appreciation."  Then he'll give the other 
person a blowjob; but since the Blowjob Principle is actually a 
metaphor, the CEO will simply give the other person a raise or 
public praise or something like that.

Anyway, this week I received a note from an astute reader, who 
said, " I just wanted to let you know how much I enjoyed 'Virtuous 
Realty.' Not only was it funny, it got very sexy as it went on."

This suggests a revision of - actually, a corollary to - the 
Blowjob Principle.  Applied to short stories, this means that you 
should get the title right! My story was a pun on "Virtual 
Reality", not "Realty."  The story to which this reader referred 
might be about a real estate agent who refuses to exploit the 
elderly or who sells houses only to nuns. 

I don't mean to appear ungrateful.  I'm trying to be funny.  
Really.  I actually did receive a message with this error, but I 
wasn't offended. I laughed my ass off for a few seconds, and then 
I started developing a plot for a story about a real estate agent 
who has a very chaste relationship with a woman with huge tits and 
a tight ass to whom he is showing the house while he has a raging 
hard-on.  Or maybe I'll make the title ironic and have a dungeon 
in the basement....  Maybe it could be about a Jehovah's Witness 
who tries to sell a house to a group of nuns and falls in love 
with them and gangbangs them during a religious discussion.  Maybe 
my next Celestial Contest should require authors to write a story 
called "Virtuous Realty."  Nah, I guess not.  But I don't have 
time to write the story.  If any of you want {Yep, "want" is 
correct, suggesting that two or more may accept the invitation - 
See Grammar Tip in last issue.} the plot, you can have it.

Second Note: In another application of the Blowjob Principle, a 
reader wrote: "If I had had you (note double entendre) as an 
English teacher when I was a horny adolescent I would have a much 
better grasp of grammar and writing now. Even now as a dirty old 
man you have assisted me in making sense of grammar rules that I 
never really understood."  How can I get this across?  I guess 
I'll have to grab him by the balls and threaten to squeeze if he 
doesn't stop dangling his participle.  Unless he seriously means 
to say that I am a dirty old man, my amorous correspondent has to 
rearrange the sentence: "Even now you have assisted me as a dirty 
old man in making sense...."

Third Note: Short, short story: Little Audrey was the only 
passenger on a plane that was about to crash.  The pilot said to 
the co-pilot, "There are only two parachutes. Grab the other one 
and let's get out of here."

"What about little Audrey?" asked the co-pilot.

"Fuck little Audrey!" said the pilot; and little Audrey laughed 
and laughed, because she knew they didn't have time.

Final note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my 
reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.

- Celeste

      "Sally Learns a Lesson" by Kathy (sitcom parody) 6, 6, 6
      "Waterfall" by dreamp0et (incoherent fantasy) 3, 3, 3
      "$$$CREWED" by J. Uris Prudence (lawyer screws client)
            9, 8, 7
      "How to Kiss Like a Cuban" by Dominick A. Miserandino
            (humorous love advice) 9, 8, 8
      "The Unabridged Catalogue Of Kisses" by Renae Nicks (sexy
            kissing advice) 10, 10, 10
      "The High Dive" by Jordan Shelbourne (mild bondage)
            10, 9, 9.5
      "Special Delivery" by Ann Douglas (fantasy evening) 
            10, 10, 10
      "When the Angel Smiles" by Hawk Richards (nostalgic sex)
            10, 10, 10
      "Persuasion" by William Drummond (mythology) 9, 7, 7

Guest Reviews:

      "Forever November" by Stephanie Kay Buffman 
            (mood story)
      "X-Men: Something Sinister This Way Comes" by Dimitri
            (sci fi adventure) 5, 8, 6
      "Honey Haven" by Andrew Roller (teenager turns tramp)

Reposted Reviews (because the stories have recently been reposted):

    * "La Salope" by Joe Parsons (prostitution and mile-high
            sex) 10, 9.5, 10
    * "When Morning Comes" by Joe Parsons (dream lover)
            10, 9.5, 9.5
    * "Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil (ff romance)
            10, 10, 10
    * "Dune what Comes Naturally" by Jeanette Brennan (sex
            on the beach) 10, 10, 10

"Sally Learns a Lesson" by Kathy (Repost from Kristen's 
Collection).  The only thing this story has going for it is that 
it is a parody of the weekly sitcom "Third Rock from the Sun."  If 
I couldn't imagine Dr. Solomon and Sally engaging in these 
activities, I would have thought this was a really inane story 
that the author had not even proofread.  If you like the TV show, 
you'll possibly enjoy this story, in spite of its obvious defects.

Ratings for "Sally Learns a Lesson"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6

"Waterfall" by dreamp0et (dreamp0et@aol.com).  This mishmash of 
run-on sentences is apparently a romantic fantasy that might mean 
something beautiful to the person who wrote it, but I wonder if 
he/she seriously believes that a person who is not already in on 
that fantasy can figure it out from this quasi-literate 
presentation.  If this author seriously intends to keep on 
writing, he/she should take the task a little more seriously.

Ratings for "Waterfall"
Athena (technical quality): 3
Venus (plot & character): 3
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3

"$$$CREWED" by J. Uris Prudence (Repost from Karen's Collection). 
The lawyer is helping a slutty woman collect her non-support 
payments from her ex.  She can't pay, and so he collects "in 
kind."  Since the woman is also stupid, he uses creative financing 
to really stick it to her.  Lawyers have been accused of worse 
things.

Ratings for "$$$CREWED"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7

"How to Kiss Like a Cuban" by Dominick A. Miserandino 
(cafe@abest.com).  Like this author's previous "Sometimes a 
Carnation is just a Carnation" (CR 193), this story has a 
distinctly non-pornographic flavor.  This is an essay on how a guy 
can get a girl to give him a good night kiss.  While they haven't 
addressed this question quite so directly, other stories on this 
newsgroup have offered what could be considered answers to this 
question: use mind control; or fuck her up the ass first, and then 
give her a kiss during the afterglow.  This author recommends the 
more esoteric strategy of talking like a Cuban - you know, Ricky 
Ricardo with a really bad accent.

To be perfectly honest, I have actually had more people worry 
about getting a first kiss from me than worry about how they'd con 
me into anal sex - at least more people that I KNOW about.  
Nevertheless, we tend to expect slightly hotter action in stories 
on this newsgroup.  This author has several other romantic gems, 
including his Valentine's Day special " Miss Love, Do I Miss 
Love?" None of them will register high on the Peter Meter, but 
they are often genuine fun.  If you wish, Dominick will even add 
you to the mailing list for his essays if you write to him at 
cafe@abest.com.

Ratings for "How to Kiss Like a Cuban"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7

"The Unabridged Catalogue Of Kisses" by Renae Nicks (A+ Non-
Story).  This was posted quite a while ago; and so you may have to 
go to DejaNews for this one, unless someone reposts it. 

Some people cannot even remember all the people they have had sex 
with; Renae Nicks can actually remember everyone she has ever 
KISSED.  Of course, she means KISS in the sense of a romantic 
encounter, not the type of peck one routinely administers to 
children or to people in a reception line.  It seems she actually 
kept notes during her teenage years; and in this essay she brings 
us up to date on the style, technique, and effects of the 
osculators whom she has encountered.

Although this is not really a story, it IS a very sexy essay.  
It's the kind of thing Dominick (see previous review) should write 
if he wants to appeal to this group instead of the Nickelodeon 
crowd.

Ratings for "Unabridged Catalogue Of Kisses"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"The High Dive" by Jordan Shelbourne (jordan@u36.com).  The woman 
is participating in her first bondage experience with a person she 
loves and trusts, and so she compares her feelings to the first 
time she took a dive from the high board at the swimming pool.  
She knew that everything would be all right; she just had to let 
herself go, and....

This "story" is extremely well written - as far as it goes.  The 
author seems to think he has a whole story in fewer than 300 
words.  I guess maybe he does, but I was left waiting for more.

Ratings for "The High Dive"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

"Special Delivery" by Ann Douglas (annd@pop.tiac.net).  Practical 
problems arise as society becomes more egalitarian.  As the 
American armed forces have become sexually more integrated, the 
logistics people have to worry about where the women will take 
showers on aircraft carriers.  Likewise, baseball players have to 
shower differently when female reporters swarm into their locker 
rooms.  This story presents Amy Choi, a 36-year-old Korean-
American businesswoman who has won a raffle at an "old boys" 
gathering of businessmen.  The surprise is a gift certificate from 
the Special Delivery Escort Service.

And so Amy is stuck with the prospect of sharing a fantasy evening 
with a man she has  never met - a man who wants nothing more than 
to bring her pleasure.  Bummer!  The fantasy casts her into the 
role of the seducer of Tyree, the young, black "delivery boy" who 
brings Amy her special delivery package.  The sex is realistic, 
friendly, and hot. I'm so jaded or sophisticated or something that 
I guessed the surprise ending halfway through the story; but I 
still enjoyed watching it unfold.  If you're a little more naive, 
you may be surprised and enjoy this story even more than I did.

Ratings for "Special Delivery"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"When the Angel Smiles" by Hawk Richards (heminway@epix.net). When this 
author originally posted this story, I gave it ratings of 7-6-8 and said 
that it contained numerous distracting errors that could easily be 
eliminated.  The author has done a masterful job of revising this story.  
Not only are the errors gone, but the plot has been substantially 
revised to clean up the logic and emotions.

Charlie is a decrepit old man who seems to be on his way home to die.  
He meets a young woman who gives him a hand-job on the plane, and then 
she stays overnight at his hotel and makes tender love to him.  The 
second half of the story consists mostly of flashbacks to Charlie's 
earlier love life as he prepares to meet his maker. 

The angel in the title refers to young girls who have appeared to be 
angelic at various times like these in Charlie's life.  

This is a difficult story to rate - but only because I can't give 
anything higher than straight 10's.  It deserves very high ratings, 
because it is among the best stories I have read recently.  On the other 
hand, there is still slight room for improvement.  The remaining problem 
is that too much is left to the reader's imagination at the end of the 
story.  I don't think the author wants to write a morality tale, and so 
he wants the ending to be deliberately vague.  I respect a certain level 
of ambiguity; but on the other hand, as I read the last lines, I found 
myself saying, "What the hell happened here?"  When I looked back, I 
still wasn't sure.  Maybe I'm wrong.  I've been known to say the same 
things about James Joyce.  If you read the story (and I think you'll 
enjoy doing so), maybe you should drop the author a line and tell him 
what YOU think.

Ratings for "When the Angel Smiles"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Persuasion" by William Drummond (ronan@digitalexp.com).  This 
amplification of the myth of Thesseus describes the activities of 
the hero with the princess Ariadne on the night before he would 
have to challenge the minotaur.  Thesseus uses his sexual charm to 
persuade the princess to help him the next day.  The major problem 
is that the story tells us nothing about the actual events of the 
fight with the minotaur or how Ariadne eventually helped.  This is 
a serious flaw.  Tacking the fight with the minotaur on at the end 
would be a bad idea - most readers of this group want sex at the 
climax of the story; and so it would be necessary to tell the 
story in an unusual order.  This would be a difficult but a 
rewarding task.  The author should take a shot at it.

Ratings for "Persuasion"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 7

The following review was written by Mat Twassel, who frequently 
posts stories with this newsgroup.

"Forever November" by Stephanie Kay Buffman. (THC repost).  One 
evening the narrator of "Forever November" is walking home from 
the Vicar's through November fields when she spies a shadowy man 
in the surrounding grove.  No sooner has the woman tightened her 
cloak than the ghostly but fiftyish fellow appears directly in her 
path.  Voices of angels or conscience warn the woman against 
looking into the man's eyes, but she pays no heed, and soon she is 
waltzing with this character, spinning to her heart's sweet 
fragile tune; and then the dance gives way to nuzzling, a 
breathtaking kiss, a prick of pain, and then some sleep and 
stickiness.  When the woman wakes, the man is gone, wouldn't you 
know it, and the woman begins her endless journey.

Stephanie Kay Buffman's small mood piece has traces of charm, but 
it's short on flesh and fullness and characters we can sink our 
teeth into.  There are a few passages of description which aren't 
bad.  One is quite fine:

     I entered the scruff of foliage at the edge
     of the fields and passed quickly through it to 
     the next stretch of pasture.  As I entered the 
     circle of grass, I stopped to pull my cloak 
     tighter around my shoulders.  The November wind
     was a bitter one.  I bowed my head for a moment
     as I adjusted my clothing, and when I looked
     back up, there he was.  In front of me, not 
     more than ten feet away, the shadow man.

Overall, the writing is amateurish but not awful. Definitely the 
open paragraph is superfluous--needless warm-up.  And the ending, 
vaguely enigmatic and probably banal, is so brief that it makes 
the early evening fling in the meadow seem endless.  

Craft: medium with flashes of promise
Sexiness: mild, some tension
Heat: modest at most

In sum:  I suspect Stephanie could write a really good sex story, 
but this isn't it.

The following review was written by Tooshoes, who frequently posts 
stories with this newsgroup.

"X-Men: Something Sinister This Way Comes" by Dimitri 
(dimitri@ihug.co.nz).  I'm sure this has happened to everyone. 
Think of a time when you walked into a room where someone was 
watching a TV show that you'd never seen before, and you stopped 
to watch it for a while. The TV show should be some kind of drama. 
Science fiction or soap operas are the ideal choices for this 
example.  As you watch, you realize you have no clue what is going 
on. You ask someone who watches the show regularly a question 
like:
    "Why is that guy angry at her?"
    "Oh, he's her father -- at least he thinks he is -- but they 
were once lovers, long before the first war, when he came back in 
time, or went forward in time, depending on how you look at it, 
and she had an affair with his son, who she thinks is . . . oh, 
I'm sorry, what was your question?"
    At which point you say "Never mind." Apparently the story 
makes perfect sense to the long time watcher, but it sounds silly 
and intimidating to anyone else.
    That's pretty much how I felt while reading the X-Men story. I 
was expecting that eventually I'd be drawn into this extremely 
complicated universe, know it's many characters, and understand 
their many different powers, but it was just too much. So many 
histories, so many mutants, so many different kinds of powers! 
This was not a good story for a first time X-Men reader, although 
X-Men fans may enjoy it.
    Extreme Plot Summary: Some time ago, the X-Men had defeated 
two arch-villains: Sinister and Apocalypse (everyone in the X-Men 
universe has similar dramatic names). Now, the two bad guys are 
back, more powerful than ever, and they catch the X-Men completely 
by surprise. The only problem is that Sinister and Apocalypse hate 
each other as much as they hate the X-Men.
    The characters in the story are consistent with those in the 
comic book, as far as I can tell, and what I can understand of the 
plot is reasonably entertaining, with my only complaint being that 
events happen too fast. In that sense, it reads much like a comic 
book, but without the pictures to fill in the details or to add a 
dramatic flair. 
    Oh, yeah, there is a lot of sex in this story, but most of it 
lacks originality and passion and is irrelevant to the story. 
However, I did enjoy one sexual sub-plot involving Jubilee, who is 
a young, mischievous mutant, whose hormones are just kicking in.
    The writing quality itself is inconsistent.  At times it seems 
rushed, other times well thought out. Numerous grammatical errors 
throughout make it stop & go reading. Sentences often seem to run 
on forever.

I'd give it a Celestial-type rating of 5:8:6

Or a mild thumbs up to X-Men fans who just can't get enough of X-
Men fan fiction.

The following guest review was written by Mat Twassel, who 
frequently contributes stories to this newsgroup:

"Honey Haven" by Andrew Roller (roller39@mail.idt.net). A 
physically precocious (but sexually inexperienced) 14 year old 
girl from Iowa takes her favorite teddy bear on a modeling 
expedition to the Mediterranean.

     I looked around.  I nearly lost my ability to
     breathe when I saw the men.  At the beach, their
     cocks had been encased in swimsuits. I could only
     see an outline of them.  Now, however, in the 
     bedroom, the men stood naked and free of their 
     clothes.  From each of their loins a long, 
     banana-like cock stood erect, arching expectantly
     up in the air. Underneath a full sack of sperm 
     hung.  I shivered.

This is silly, superficial stuff.  Andrew Roller's heroine 
describes the beginnings of her journey in appropriate voice: 
mostly simple sentences, tiresome detail. But we don't really get 
inside her in any special way; we don't even learn the name of 
that bear.

By the second day of Mediterranean modeling, our Iowa girl finds 
herself handcuffed, her diction and syntax smoothed and expanded, 
and her still more or less virginal body under the dubious 
direction of Svetlana, the mistress of erotic photography:

     I felt the steel of the handcuffs press against
     my wrists. They snapped shut.  First one, then
     the other.  Angela breathed on my neck.  She bent,
     licked my ear, as if to reinforce my new subservience 
     to her.  I could do nothing but flinch.  I felt my 
     teats quivering before me, all stiff and hard, heavy
     for my age.  "Stand with your legs open," Angela 
     told me.  "You have only a small slit.  Do not hide
     it from the men's view by pressing your thighs 
     closed.  Let them see it at least, though they 
     cannot touch you."

It turns out there is some touching:

     We reached for his cock.  He did not mind us 
     handling it.  Our fingers were small upon his 
     big member.  I could feel it throbbing in my 
     grasp.  Would he spend?  I didn't know.  He kept
     up the fingering of our nests.  I let my head 
     fling back.  I breathed a fevered sigh.  Beside
     me, Katrina did the same.  More flashes, more 
     camera clicks.  

I don't remember anymore whether the girls handled the cock while 
handcuffed.  For these cocks, there are also whips and catheters.  
If such "implements of pleasure" appeal to you, Honey Haven might 
be a lovely feast.

     How embarrassed I felt!  I was made up like a
     doll, yet I was totally naked and, worse, 
     handcuffed.  It didn't take a mature eye like
     the maid's to see I had a wet dell and wanted a
     cock up me.  I shivered under her gaze.  It was 
     imperious now, not modest at all, as if she were 
     secretly laughing at me.  I was young and beautiful,
     but I looked utterly silly now, and she knew, I 
     imagine, that I had a long night ahead of me.  With 
     Svetlana, it did not promise to be a honeymoon. 
     Rather, I feared, it would be more like a visit 
     to the Marquis de Sade!

I felt a bit embarrassed, too. Personally, I'd rather read realer 
stuff about 14 year old Iowa school girls; I'd rather learn about 
their fears and hopes and fantasies and ordinary life and even 
what it's like for them to have their hymen torn on a horseback 
ride.

Craft: mostly well-written
Sexiness: a matter of taste
Heat: medium for hard-core

* "La Salope" by Joe Parsons (jmp@cyber-mall.com).  {When I first 
reviewed this story back in CR 82, I gave the title as "La 
Scalope."  This error occurred because I am familiar with neither 
whores in France nor potatoes in French restaurants.} 

 A pilot who is also a writer flies into Santa Cruz.  After he 
checks into his hotel, there is a knock at his door. It's a case 
of mistaken identity: the visitor is a hooker (une Salope) looking 
for someone else.  No problem, says the pilot, I'll purchase your 
services.  After he happily takes ole one-eye to the optometrist a 
couple of times, she tells him that she's not really a whore; she 
came to his door on a bet.  {This is actually a matter of 
semantics.}  No problem, he says; but you'll have to be punished.  
And so he spanks her and then they fuck every which way they 
haven't yet - including in his plane as it speeds along to Santa 
Barbara, where they will fuck some more.

Some things in this story are a bit unrealistic.  Like why would a 
pilot flying into Santa Cruz have two neckties in the first place? 
Or why would a woman enjoy being bound by those two cravats and 
other restraints while a sexy stranger teased her with his 
joystick and seemed determined to drive her out of her mind before 
finally plunging his tool into her?  And what's the big deal about 
fucking in an airplane anyway?  And can a guy really come five 
times in less than 24 hours and still be looking for more?  And 
aren't "scallop" and "salope" close enough in pronunciation to 
cause serious embarrassment to Frenchmen who like mollusks?  

Which reminds me.... A man goes into a restaurant and looks over 
the menu. After a few minutes, the waitress comes to the table and 
asks him what he'd like. He says, "I'd like a quickie".  The 
waitress turns red and says, "That's not funny, sir.  Now, what 
would you like to order?" The man replies, "I'd really like a 
quickie, if you don't mind."  The waitress slaps him and storms 
off angrily. Another customer, overhearing the conversation, leans 
over and says to the man, "Um, I think that it's pronounced 
'quiche.'"

This is an interesting fantasy!

Ratings for "La Scalope"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

* "When Morning Comes" by Joe Parsons (jmp@cyber-mall.com).  Ellen 
has a kind and gentle lover who does everything he can to meet her 
needs; but she longs for someone who will dominate her.  She 
wakens from a dream and finds a stranger in her bedroom, who does 
to her all that she had dreamed of and more.  Was it a dream or 
reality?  You read it and decide for yourself.

Ratings for "When Morning Comes"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5

* "Elizabeth & Anastasia" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com). This 
author combines timing and tension to create a very good story.  
At the very start we know simply that Betty (Elizabeth) is upset 
because her father has thrown Stacy (Anastasia) out of the house 
and has threatened to kill her if he ever sees her around his 
daughter again.  Then we flash back to a scene in a vice-
principal's office, where Betty is describing her problems with a 
teacher who seems to be making passes at her.  There must be some 
relation, the reader thinks, between what's happening in this 
flashback and the relationship between Betty and Stacy; but what 
is it?  Is the vice-principal actually Stacy?  The vice-principal 
has recommended a tutor; will that be Stacy?  And then there is a 
sinister note; the vice-principal is apparently interested in 
exploiting a sexual opening with the teacher who had been 
harassing Betty.  What are the implications of that tidbit for 
Betty?  I can't help it; I root for characters when I read some of 
these stories.  I already sympathize with Betty; and as a hard-
working teacher myself, I wouldn't mind seeing the VP stick it to 
the teacher/pervert, but I hope that Betty and Stacy are people 
with a wholesome relationship rather than participants in some 
sort of demeaning ring of sex-slavery.

As I finish writing the preceding paragraph, I am only about 2000 
words into a 47,000-word story.  I mention this because I think it 
is a sign of a good story to arouse the reader's interest as 
strongly as this story grabbed my attention.

I'm reluctant to tell you too much of the story.  I enjoyed 
finding out what would happen next, and I think you will too.  The 
author uses an interesting strategy of alternating between the 
past and the present; that is, there is one continuous story 
starting in the present; and another continuous story - that gives 
meaning to the current-time story - starts in the past.  In 
general, this is an ingenious and enthralling approach; but at 
times it becomes confusing.  For example, when the girls are 
arguing in the past and making up in the present, the two plots 
may become entwined in the reader's mind.  It must have been 
difficult for the author to coordinate these two plots; but he 
carries it off effectively - with the exception of one point in 
Chapter 4 where he seems to use in the past storyline information 
about Joyce that could be known only from the present plot.

This is not a wham-bang sex story; it's a romantic story about a 
relationship that happens to involve intimate sex between two 
females.  The early part of the story (probably the first two 
thirds - and that's a lot in a story of this size) does not 
contain any specific sexual activity at all; but sex is implied, 
and sexual tension pervades even this part.  That makes it sexy to 
me.  When explicit sex does occur, it is very hot.  

To be honest, I have to admit that this story brought tears to my 
eyes more often than it brought moisture to my lower regions; but 
they were often tears of joy that I associate with really happy 
times in the sack.  I suppose that makes this pretty much a "chick 
story," but you studs out there oughta read it too.  Maybe it'll 
put some hair on your chest.

This story has some flaws; but it's still excellent.  Look at it 
this way: on several occasions the author actually spelled 
"english" (as in English Teacher!) with a lower-case "e"; but I 
still gave  the story straight 10's.  I can't offer a much 
stronger recommendation than that!

Ratings for "Elizabeth & Anastasia"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10

"Dune what Comes Naturally" by Jeanette Brennan (anon584c@nyx.net).  
Uther Pendragon has revised this story slightly.  Since it's under 500 
words, you can easily re-read it and see how it compares to the 
original.  I am simply reposting my original review, which is still 
accurate.

A creative feature of this story is that it is written by a fictional 
character.  As I proofread the preceding sentence, I realized how badly 
it missed the point.  Actually, in a legitimate sense ALL the stories in 
this contest are probably written by fictional characters.  That is, 
almost everyone uses a pseudonym when posting on a.s.s.  What I meant to 
say was that in this case Uther Pendragon has written a pair of stories 
and has given credit for them to Jeanette and Bob Brennan, two fictional 
characters in his long-running "For... " series.  So if this feature 
really works, the present story should not only be a good story; it 
should also appear to be the work of Jeanette as opposed to Bob or 
someone else.

In this story Marlene's mother tells her to be home right after the 
movie to which the girl is going with her boyfriend.  Since they are on 
a tight deadline, they leave the movie early and go down to the beach to 
make out.  But while they're making out in an area where they cannot be 
observed, they hear someone else nearby doing a bit more than just 
making out.  If Uther Pendragon has done his work well and if you are 
familiar with his other work, you should now have a pretty good idea how 
this story will end - or at least it will seem like an ending that 
Jeanette would have written for her entry in this contest.  It worked 
for me!

Ratings for "Dune what Comes Naturally"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10


Grammar Tip of the Week: FREQUENTLY CONFUSED WORDS.

DESERT/DESSERT.  The DESERT is the dry place where men get so 
lonely that they fuck their camels and have mirages of lovely 
women.  A DESSERT is what you might lick out of your lover's 
navel.  The verb DESERT (pronounced the same as the noun DESSERT) 
refers to the activity of leaving something or someone behind, as 
a wife might DESERT her husband to become a sex slave of his 
friend with the much larger cock.  The easiest way to remember 
this is that you always want TWO helpings of DESSERT {hence the 
double s}, and the others just have one s.

ANXIOUS/EAGER.  ANXIOUS means "nervous or worried."  When it's 
followed by a preposition, it's usually "about" plus a gerund (-
ing word).  EAGER means "looking forward". When it's followed by a 
preposition, it's usually "to" plus an infinitive (regular form of 
the verb).  The following are examples of correct usage.

     I am ANXIOUS about having anal sex with you. (low odds
         of scoring)
     I am EAGER to have anal sex with you. (high odds of
         scoring)

It's wise to use these words correctly, but you should be aware 
that about 90% of the people you will ever meet will use ANXIOUS 
plus "to" as a synonym for EAGER.  So if someone says, "I am 
ANXIOUS to have anal sex with you," you might as well fuck him/her 
in the ass before you recommend therapy to alleviate the anxiety.  
The "to" would probably stand up as a legitimate defense in court 
in a sexual harassment trial.

You also have to be careful with these words when they modify 
nouns directly.  The phrase "ANXIOUS lover" should be reserved for 
guys in danger of premature ejaculation or suffering from some 
other form of anxiety.  People who simply want to get on with it 
are EAGER lovers.