Celestial Reviews 189 - June 11, 1997
Note: The deadline for the Third Annual Celestial Writing Contest has
come and gone. Actually, the Third Annual contest took place last year;
and so the present contest is either the Fourth Annual Contest or the
Second Third Annual Contest. Here is the list of stories I have received
for this contest:
{The following two stories have not appeared on my previous lists:}
"Cain and Abel" by Taria
"A Little Encouragement" by Stephanie
"Am I Only Dreaming?" by Paddy Toute
"B----'s Lover" by Eli-the-Bearded
"Bees" by Mat Twassel
"Civility" by Mark Aster
"Confessions of Lust" by Anon747
"Daisy" by John Thomas
"Dune What Comes Naturally" by Jeanette Brennan
"Foodie" by Plainman
"The Game" by Michael Ellis
"The Harpooner" by MrSpraycan
"The Houseguest" by DG
"If." by Mary's Brother
"In Your Own Sweet Way" by Walter Caulder
"Listening to the Neighbors" by Renae Nicks
"My Trusted Friend" by BronwenSM
"The Phone Call" by Gregarious
"Playing Pool" by BronwenSM
"Poe" by Seurat
"Ships that Parse in the Night" by John Thomas
"Spaced Out" by John Thomas
"What Choice? by Mal
"Windmill Saga" by Robert Brennan
"Yardstick" by John Thomas
Three entries by Mike Hunt
Five stories by Tom Bombadil
"Teasers" by Vickie Tern (several eligible entries)
"Twist" by Seurat (several eligible entries)
Authors who have not done so should post or repost the stories on a.s.s.
or a.s.s.m. They should label them at the beginning of the line with
this heading: {<500 words}. Any readers who wish to do so should read
as many of these stories as they wish and send their comments to me.
Comments can be of two kinds: comments on a specific story or comments
comparing stories - for example, by telling me why one story or another
should be awarded the First Prize. If you wish to do so, you can
shamelessly promote your cause, as Mike Hunt has done in the past.
However, I don't recommend that, since most of us are impervious to
silly flattery and other strategies that do not lead directly to orgasm.
The final decision will be mine; but I shall allow myself to be
influenced by this input from readers. I will NOT go by a simple vote;
I'll take into consideration your input and make a decision. Of course,
there's actually nothing to prevent someone else from giving a Second
First Prize in this Second Third Annual Celestial Story Contest.
The deadline for sending feedback to me is June 14. On June 18 I'll
post the name of the winner, and I'll also post my reviews of all the
stories.
Second Note: Delta has reposted a large number of excellent stories. In
this issue of CR I am reposting my reviews of these stories.
Third Note: The Blow Job Principle: We are in danger of losing some of
our best authors. I am aware of at least two people who say they are
ready to throw in the towel simply because they get so little feedback
from readers. If you rarely or never respond to authors, then THIS IS
YOUR FAULT!
What in the world do you think keeps an author going? You can call it
ego or whatever you want to call it. I call it the Blow Job Principle.
Simply stated, if a person expects to get a second blow job, the
recipient should make the giver glad to have performed the first.
Applied to these stories, if you like a story, take the trouble to say
so.
Some writers on this newsgroup are incoherent and don't intend to
improve. If they give up and go away, that's fine with me. But there
are good writers who have already abandoned this newsgroup and others
who will do so, because there's nothing in it for them.
I'm not suggesting that you kiss up to the authors. But if you enjoy a
story that you obtained for free, why not take two minutes to give the
author some feedback? I don't think most authors want idle flattery;
but they write stories with the hope that they are getting a reaction -
for example, they may want to make people happy. They'll never know
they have succeeded unless somebody tells them so.
Fourth Note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my
reviews for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Slut Maker" by Xpost (mind control) 10, 10, 10
"Therapy" by Unknown Author (sex therapy & mind control)
10, 6, 5
"Nightclub Toilet Cubicle" by Anonymous (sex in men's room)
6, 6, 6
"A Long Hot Summer's Night" by Kisses (bondage & threesome)
6, 7, 8
"Dreams Collection" by Thomas Morris (romance) 8, 5, 3
"The Fugitive" by Caesar (rape) 8, 9.5, 8.5
* "Anything" by Delta (hot sexual fantasies) 10, 10, 10
* "Coincidence" by Delta (erotic reunion & sexual banter)
10, 10, 10
* "Kin" by Delta (romance) 10, 10, 10
* "The Good Neighbor" by Delta (meaning of life) 10, 10, 10
* "Hotsprings" by Delta (D&s romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Dreamwalk" by Delta (surrealistic sexy dream) 10, 10, 10
* "A Cold Day in Hell" by Delta (romance) 10, 10, 10
* "The Whipping Post" by Delta (bondage) 10, 10, 10
* "Garden of Contemplation" by Delta (rape and retribution)
10, 10, 10
* "Guided Visualization" by Delta (romantic mood) 10, 10, 9
* "Lucid Dreamer" by Delta (romantic dream control) 10, 10, 10
* "Strip Chess" by Delta (gambling for sex) 10, 10, 10
* "Make ****** Fast" by Delta (sexual satire) 10, 10, 10
* "One of Those Days" by Delta (mind control) 10, 9.5, 9.5
* "The Fast" by Delta (masturbation & fantasy)10, 9, 9
* "For Celeste" by Delta (mock epic poetry) 10, 10, 10
* "The Chambermaid" by Delta (Sex on the rebound) 10, 10, 10
* = Repost of a previous review (because the story has
recently been reposted)
"Slut Maker" by Xpost (xpost@hotmail.com). Run-of-the-mill mind control
stories tend to bore me. I mean, what's so interesting about a guy
getting head from a woman, if all he has to do is plant the idea in her
mind? In fact, it has occurred to me that perhaps people who like
generic mind control stories have themselves been induced to this
mindset through mind control. To be interesting, a mind control story
needs a twist.
In this case, the narrator uses really vivid language to describe his
conquests. I like that touch. He has gained control of his sexy but
demure next-door neighbor, who seems bewildered by her sudden urges to
do things that would not meet with the approval of Miss Manners. Pretty
soon Mrs. Stevens is doing some pleasantly disgusting things right there
in her back yard.
The preceding paragraph may seem to describe ordinary events, but what
would make a 14-year-old boy be possessed by a desire - before a kiss,
before holding hands, before anything - to devour this sexpot's
delectable asshole? There aren't many possibilities that I can think of
- just mind control and dirty stories on this newsgroup.
The narrator is what is known as a Swell Guy. He likes to make sure
everyone whose mind he controls has his or her fantasies fulfilled,
even if he is the one who has instilled those fantasies within them. I
think there are religions based on this premise. In addition, the
sexual activities he arranges have an aesthetic quality to them: its
picturesque (though probably impossible) the way the couple assfuck on a
chaise lounge.
This is a strange but good story.
Ratings for "Slut Maker"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Therapy" by Unknown Author. The main problem with this story is that
it is just plain incomplete. We have five chapters, and the fifth
chapter expects a sixth as obviously as each of the previous chapters
anticipated a sequel. The story is reposted by someone other than the
author, and so it's unlikely that we'll ever know how to get the rest of
the story.
As far as the story goes, it's pretty good. However, I am not going to
bother summarizing it. If you try to read this story, you'll just get
frustrated because you can't find the rest of it. I honestly don't
understand why someone would do this. Maybe it's a practical joke.
Don't fall for it; skip this story.
Ratings "Therapy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5
"Nightclub Toilet Cubicle" by Anonymous (THC Archives). Under the
theory that gems are often found in the strangest places, I downloaded
this story, which was sandwiched between "34-24-34 ORAL DELIGHT" and
"SMELL PUSSY EAT PUSSY...GOOD" in alt.sex.stories. The narrator assures
us that this is a completely honest and true story in every Australian
detail. It is presented as testimony that "if _some_ girls are offered
a convienient safe fun discrete fuck they will actually take it."
The narrator "dressed trendy and sexy, put on some aftershave and
slicked back his hair." My problem is that while I read these words I
envisioned Crocodile Dundee being sexy by picking his teeth with his
hunting knife. And then I also had to remember that a mate is something
different Down Under - for that matter "down under" is probably
something different Down Under. So the guy finds a girl in a bar, talks
to her, and fondles her arse a while; and then she says, "Lets go and
fuck in the toilet and Dave is coming too". Dave is the "origional" guy
she was with - that's what the Aussies call the people that lived on
that continent before the convicts and other outcasts from the British
Empire came there to add some class to the place. So all three of them
pile into a toilet cubicle in the men's room and have sex together. I
don't think it was a pay toilet; so I guess this was OK.
Ratings "Nightclub Toilet Cubicle"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 6
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 6
"A Long Hot Summer's Night" by Kisses (Kisses@lovable.com). This story
is rushed together, but it contains the basis of a good fantasy. The
guy agrees to let his girlfriend blindfold and bind him; and shortly
after she begins to make love to him, he realizes that one person could
not be doing everything that is happening to his body. He enjoys the
rapture brought on by the doubles team that is fucking him.
Ratings "A Long Hot Summer's Night"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 7
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Dreams Collection" by Thomas Morris (Thomas@leesti.demon.co.uk). "The
mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation." Thoreau was probably
right. He could have added that their stories are not all that
interesting to read about either. The stories in the "Dreams
Collection" prove this point. I don't know how many there are, but I
have read numbers 1 and 2.
In the first story Paula is lonely. She meets an equally lonely,
unattractive, and unappealing guy, and they hold hands. They proclaim
their love for each other, and he licks her feet. They don't have sex -
unless I have already described it. In the second story a short, fat,
and lonely guy meets an equally unappealing girl. I suppose they belch
and fart, but the author doesn't mention those events. They dance, hold
hands, kiss, and become boyfriend and girlfriend. They don't have sex -
unless I have already described it.
I am sorry that these people don't have a sex life as exciting as my
own. I really am. It is too bad that they lead lives of quiet
desperation. However, my advice to this author is to find something
more interesting to write about. These stories make the action in "The
Nightclub Toilet Cubicle" seem positively tantalizing.
Ratings "Dreams Collection"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
The following is a Special Guest Review by Piper (a regular contributor
to a.s.s. under another name).
"The Fugitive" by Caesar(92) (caesar@bigrock.com). It's somewhere in
the early 1950's. Marnie is married to Dave, and has been for six
years. She's now 22. Dave is an old-fashioned type of husband,
believing in the solid values of yore - a wife never speaks unless
spoken to, stays at home, does her wifely duty whenever he wants her,
and never, ever, complains. They live way out in the boonies, ten miles
from their nearest neighbor, and farther than that from the nearest
town, so, since Marnie doesn't drive, she never leaves the house and
Dave never has to explain away the bruises and other visible signs of
damage. Exactly. Dave is a woman-beater, using physical abuse to keep
his wife in line. (No, I don't know what the politically correct term
is for a man like this. Personally, I would prefer to use phrases
containing derivations of 4-letter words taken out of context. I'm
biased that way.)
Now enter the fugitive, a man with a gun and an attitude. He comes out
of nowhere, subdues Dave in a few seconds, and then makes Marnie tie her
husband to a kitchen chair. 'How you get stuck with a pig like this?'
the stranger asks of her. 'Dame like you should be in the city, the
wife of some rich old man.' 'Yup, man should be proud to have a fine
doll like you!' Fine words, the likes of which she hasn't heard since
her wedding day, if I'm reading the story correctly. Strange feelings
start coursing through her veins, barely recognized feelings, feeling
she hadn't had since a year after her wedding, since she was seventeen,
feelings which her husband had almost completely erased from her memory.
Oooh, is this dark, well-dressed, powerful, and obviously well-to-do
stranger getting Marnie excited?
The guy treats Marnie like a human being, even in the bedroom, all the
way through what is technically a rape - unlike what her 'wham-bam-now-
go-do-the-dishes' husband did to her earlier that same day. Quite a
contrast between the man she is married to and the rapist. The ending
did surprise me a bit. What happened? Read the story and find out.
This is one of Caesar's early works. The story is good, the sex is
pretty good, but the technical quality needs help, both with word
choices and with sentence structure. I mean, the stranger is wearing a
'dark brown hat and a suite'. A suite is a place you live in, or
something to do with playing cards, depending on how you pronounce it.
(Maybe he was decked out like the knave of hearts? Nah.) Earlier on,
Marnie shuttered, although I doubt the author meant that she went around
closing up the windows. Later stories by this author, like Jan, the
Marnie series (nothing to do with this story's Marnie), and Sailing We
Will Go, are technically better (better as stories, too). They still
have the same problems with sentence structure, but not with misused
words.
Overall, I like it - but then again, I prefer (by a slight margin) a
story with sex in it rather than a sex scene with window dressing.
(As a side note, I checked out Caesar's web page. The latest
incarnation of this story has most of the technical flaws corrected.
I'm reviewing a copy that was posted by an archivist/reposter and it
appears to be several revisions out of date. The same is true of my
copies of his other stories.)
Rating:
Technical merit 8
Plot & character 9.5
Appeal to reviewer 8.5
* "Anything" by Delta (delta*@bc.sympatico.ca). Lance is driving his
car on a dismal night, concerned and annoyed because his wife is
inexplicably upset and has gone to visit her sister. In this state of
emotional tension, he picks up a young, female hitchhiker. Susan thinks
she recognizes Lance, but she doubts that this is really the case.
Susan comments that she would do "anything" for a ride all the way to
her distant destination by 9:00 the next morning. Lance quickly takes
her up on her offer, and off they go on their mutual odyssey. Susan is
upset when he pulls up at his house - obviously to cash in on
"anything"; but it turns out that he has to feed the cat. The shifts in
mood and in sexual tension continue throughout the story.
The author constantly switches rapidly but smoothly between the
viewpoints of the two protagonists, describing the thoughts and emotions
of each. Neither knows what the other is thinking, and we constantly
see how each is sometimes right and sometimes wrong in his or her
perceptions of the other. What Delta does as well as or perhaps better
than anyone is tell a COMPLETE STORY - a story with a plot that involves
me as the reader and plays with my mind as I think I know what is going
to happen next. This is a truly excellent and sexy story.
Ratings for "Anything"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Coincidence" by Delta (delta*@bc.sympatico.ca). The narrator is
seated on a nearly full jetliner, dressed in a scruffy manner, waiting
for takeoff, when - who to his wondering eyes should appear to take the
seat next to him but his ex-girlfriend. Ex-very-close-girlfriend.
Hence the title. Lisa appears not to recognize the former lover seated
next to her, but the conversation coincidentally brings back memories of
things past. Hence the title. The story consists mostly of the
narrator's recollections of their good times together before they broke
up somewhat bitterly. While he ruminates, he debates within himself
whether or not to disclose his identity to her.
This story contains hot sex, but it also contains much more than mere
graphic descriptions. The playful banter of the lovers adds to our
reading enjoyment, as does our knowledge that these two broke up and our
anticipation that they might be reunited. The narrator even has a
philosophy of life - that coincidences don't just happen; they represent
the Universe speaking to us. Is he going to tell her who he is? Or
does she already know; and maybe those coincidences aren't so
coincidental after all. As they say, everything happens for a
purpose....
Here's an interesting aside: Just before I read this story, I was
preparing my lesson plan for a presentation on Robert Frost's "The Road
Not Taken." Coincidence? I hardly think so.
Ratings for "Coincidence"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Kin" by Delta (delta*@bc.sympatico.ca). "I don't usually break
promises. Not even ones I make to myself. Especially not ones I make
to myself. Funny how hard, and how easy, it is to overcome that private
taboo." These words from the beginning of Delta's story state the
narrator's ambivalence as she returned to the scene where she had known
a former lover. But to me they instantly evoked a different reaction.
As I read these words, I recalled an e-mail message from Delta - I think
it was in November of last year - in which she told me that she was
withdrawing from the erotic story circuit. She had to get on with other
tasks in her life. Anonymous relationships that we develop on this
newsgroup are strange and wonderful. I was sad; but I sent her a
cheerful note of some kind. I don't know why she's back; but I'm glad
she is. I hope she continues writing stories like this.
Delta made my Top 100 list for 1995 four times - including the number 2
story. The present story, I think, is the best she has ever written.
This is partly because I like romantic, sentimental stories; but it's
mostly because the story is so well written. There is no wasted
verbiage; the action tells the story and conveys the emotions very
effectively.
I don't know why this story has to be hidden away on a.s.s. I don't
know why it can't be on magazine racks in the supermarkets or in the
anthologies that my students read. There is almost no explicit sex in
this story, but I had a really good feeling inside me all the while I
read it - maybe that's why it's not in those anthologies.
The story is about a guy and a girl who take a First Aid course together
and like each other but do not make love with each other. That may
sound pretty lame; but take my word for it - Delta tells the story
better than I do.
Ratings for "Kin"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The Good Neighbor" by Delta (delta*@bc.sympatico.ca). Stories like
this simply don't appear on alt.sex.stories - at least not very often.
Stories like this appear in literature books, written by either Russian
or German authors - or at least by European existentialists.
The plot unfolds slowly through the eyes of a man who plans to blow his
brains out. Just when we realize that this man is truly despondent and
plans to kill himself, there is a knock at the door and a woman enters
the room. She is concerned about having lost her beauty, and she asks
the man for his input. A little perturbed that this woman is
interrupting his much more significant suicide for such trivial reasons,
the man eventually decides that a final act of kindness will do no harm
and might even make a difference to her; and so he tells her that she is
beautiful. Very quickly the two find themselves preparing to make love,
and the man who was about to commit suicide suddenly feels the need to
use a condom and to put a robe on the floor to prevent either of them
from getting floor burn. And so it goes.
Who is this woman? How will life change for the two of them? This is
an excellent story.
Ratings for "The Good Neighbor"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Hotsprings" by Delta (delta*@bc.sympatico.ca). When Delta first
started posting this story, I gave it a good review on the basis of the
first two chapters and my previous experience with one of her stories.
After I did that, I thought maybe I had made a mistake - not because of
anything this author did but rather because I had gotten burned by a
couple of other stories that started out good but faltered later. I
thought maybe it would be better to avoid rating stories until they were
finished. Toward the middle chapters of this story, I got even more
worried; it was getting just plain silly with all these people wandering
around the campsite wearing matching chokers. But in the end, my
patience was rewarded. Everything fell into place. It really is a good
story.
The plot centers around the activities of the workers at a recreational
campsite. Kat, the new business manager, is introduced as a beautiful
but conniving dominatrix, who seems intent on building herself a sexual
empire. Fred is introduced as a good, strong, patient man who doesn't
want to play Kat's games. Big Jake is the free-spirited owner who loves
his wife but also loves his freedom and lots of other women. He treats
his wife, Jennie, and the other females pretty much like objects; but
Jennie still loves him. And then there are about four other interesting
characters. The author combines a lot of hot sex with an interesting
plot (that I don't want to divulge) to make the story really
interesting. (If it starts seeming silly, just repeat several times,
"Celeste says this is interesting." It will become interesting again.
As a matter of fact, if you're not intent on critiquing the story, you
might not have this silliness reaction at all.)
When I started reviewing a.s.s. stories, I didn't think I would like D&s
(domination and submission) stories. I still don't have a driving urge
to have my husband submit to torture whenever he disobeys me or fails to
satisfy me sexually, but I have to admit that I enjoyed this story -
especially the final two chapters, which are practically non-stop hot
sex. Notice that I have labeled this story "D&s romance." Originally I
thought the two concepts were incompatible; but I was wrong. At least
in the world of fiction, they are sometimes compatible.
Ratings for "Hotsprings"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Dreamwalk" by Delta (delta*@bc.sympatico.ca). Have you ever had one
of those dreams that seemed so vivid that you weren't sure whether you
were awake or not? And then you decide to wake up and you think you
have awakened; but you're not sure, because maybe you only dreamed you
woke up. The man in this story is approached in the middle of the night
by a mysterious, beautiful neighbor who informs him that he is in her
dream - and a nice, hot dream it is. Delta maintains the necessary
mixture of reality and unreality beautifully. Where does she get ideas
like this? Another excellent story.
Ratings for "Dreamwalk"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "A Cold Day in Hell" by Delta (delta*@bc.sympatico.ca). Miller is an
electronics repairman. He just wants to be left alone. His one true
love has gone away, and he doesn't want to take chances again. It's not
that life has no meaning: it's just that the meaning comes from the
feeling of triumph when a piece of broken electronic equipment springs
back to life. Then he finds a homeless young woman and brings her home
- not for sex, but simply because he just couldn't leave her there on
the street. You can probably figure out where this story is going, but
it's still very interesting to see how Delta gets us there. Besides,
you might be surprised!
This is a long, good story with very little sex. But the long, good
part of the story makes the short, erotic part very sexy.
Ratings for "A Cold Day in Hell"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The Whipping Post" by Delta (delta@bc.sympatico.ca). During the
early predawn hours a woman's friend binds her naked to the whipping
post in the center of a small town. It is the town in which she grew up
but where she no longer lives, and she has harbored fantasies about
being exposed to and beaten by the citizens. {This sounds to me like
one of those recurring nightmares.} To her horror - and pleasure - she
is recognized by some of the people who take advantage of the
opportunity to beat her naked body while she has several public orgasms.
I generally dislike stories of beatings and public humiliation, because
I find them to be incomprehensible and annoying. I found this one to be
incomprehensible - but just properly so; I kept thinking that this
didn't quite make sense, but at the same time it did make sense in a
strange way. Likewise, I found it to be annoying - but mostly because I
knew I was enjoying something I didn't want to be enjoying. In a way,
this is like a Deirdre story with more of the details.
Ratings for "The Whipping Post"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Garden of Contemplation" by Delta (delta@bc.sympatico.ca). The
narrator has raped a young woman. Instead of keeping the event secret
or going to the Law, she turns him over to the Society. He is given a
short trial and is sentenced to 90 minutes of mandatory Contemplation.
That's all - except that if he fails to meet certain conditions or if he
makes certain requests additional consequences will follow. Of course,
since Contemplation takes place in an open, public area and in a
kneeling position, some support is necessary; and all that is available
is a set of electronically charged ball bearings that support the
buttocks through the anal aperture. You can well imagine....
There have been many stories on a.s.s. that have attempted to give
intense portrayals of rape. Some of those stories have been vivid and
realistic. I have counseled people who have been raped, and I do NOT
believe that rape is fun. However, I understand that it can be
pleasurable (and perhaps even harmless) for a man to fantasize about
raping a woman or for a woman to fantasize about the "pleasures" that
could occur during the act of rape.
The present story takes a different approach. The portrayal of the
initial rape is realistic, but not vivid or erotic. The retribution is
both realistic and vivid, but not erotic - at least I HOPE you don't get
turned on by this sort of activity.
It's difficult to tell you more without ruining the story for you. I
strongly recommend this story - but not when you are looking for a turn-
on. Use it as part of your Contemplation time.
Ratings for "Garden of Contemplation"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Guided Visualization" by Delta. This story describes a woman becoming
very peacefully aroused by the image in her mind of the voice of her
lover, who has control over her, yet is controlled by her. There is no
explicit sex in the story - just a beautiful, peaceful image.
Ratings for "Guided Visualization"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Lucid Dreamer" by Delta (delta@bc.sympatico.ca). Robert is a guy
with a physical disability, and his limp has impaired his capacity to
hit it off with interesting women. Other than that, he is a normal guy
who likes to hang out with his friends at a bar. He also has a crush on
a woman whom he observes from a bus. And most important (for this
story, that is), he has been trying to take control of his dreams. He
wants to have "lucid dreams"; that is, he wants to become conscious of
when he is dreaming and deliberately let the dreams go where he wants
them to go. He has read a book about it, and by darn it should work!
In fact, he has his eye on a lady whom he has never met. All he knows
is that she's beautiful and wears a wedding ring. But if he ever became
lucid in a dream, he had plans for that lady.
But then he meets Trudi, the girl of his dreams - literally. And then
the story gets complicated. I'm not going to try to summarize it.
Let's just say that it's a nice story that blends romance with the
paranormal - sort of like the movie "Ghost." If you're at all familiar
with Delta's other stories, you can easily suspect that this one might
be good.
A technical note: Delta is a wonderful writer - Delta's worst stories
are better than I could ever write myself; and so the following "advice"
needs to be taken with a grain of salt. Delta posted this story in
serial format - one chapter at a time. I reviewed the first chapter
(and I am repeating part of that review here) and then I waited until
the whole thing was finished before I read and reviewed the whole story.
In a cover letter Delta pointed out that the characters had changed as
the plot developed - and, indeed, that the basic plot had changed in
several ways. If this is the case, then it seems to me that it would
have been sensible to CHANGE some of the earlier parts in view of these
alterations; but since the earlier chapters had already "gone to press,"
this was impossible.
A large number of authors employ this serial format. I suppose a major
reason is that they want to get reactions and feedback from readers.
Some authors get started and then simply quit after one or two chapters;
but it seems to me that even those who continue may be hurting their
cause. Wouldn't it be better to wait until the author him/herself knows
EXACTLY how the story will end before considering the earlier chapters
to be finished? It seems to me that authors limit themselves by locking
themselves into characterizations or plot elements that either prevent
development or make development awkward in view of earlier statements
that could easily be changed if they were not already etched in stone.
Back to the present story - and to my original review! I have some
theories of my own about dreams. First, I have discovered that my own
dreams aren't all that interesting. These stories, for example, are
usually a lot more interesting than my dreams. I used to think my
dreams were interesting, and once I decided (like Robert in this story)
to write down my really good ones. For this purpose I kept a notepad by
my bed. I had a really great dream one night, and I jotted down some
notes. Since it was a sexy dream, I cut the notes short and cuddled up
against my husband's ass, hoping to get back into the dream. I drifted
orgasmically back to sleep. The next morning at breakfast I remembered
my dream. Knowing that I could write a best-selling novel based on that
dream, I rushed back to the bedroom and retrieved the notepad. The
notes easily enabled me to recall the entire dream. It was one of the
stupidest stories I had ever heard of - even worse than some of the ones
my sister-in-law has described at the dinner table. Within a week I
discovered that MOST of my dreams became inane under close scrutiny.
The dreams were often really fun to have, but that must have because in
my sleepy stupor I focused on key details and ignored fairly obvious
inconsistencies. My dreams simply did not have complete and coherent
plots; they fell apart under even superficial analysis. In addition,
they reeked of plagiarism. Since the critical examinations were ruining
my dream-sex-life, I threw the notepad away.
Second, I believe that the psychological "importance" of dreams is
overrated. Freud may have been a bright guy, but most dreams are not
worth "interpreting." I find that my dreams are just as likely to be
influenced by what's on television while I sleep, by noises outside my
window, and by what I read as by "subconscious feelings" that can give
any meaning to my life. My dreams are especially likely to be
influenced by a pair of lips or a tongue on the right part of my anatomy
during the hour or so before I am scheduled to wake up; but it doesn't
require psychoanalysis to figure out why this is so.
Third, I have tried something similar to what Robert does in this story.
I have this personality flaw called a conscience that prohibits me from
doing some really neat things - like making love to my husband's best
friend, eating the pussy of one of the women I teach with, and engaging
in a gangbang with some attractive and athletic people. I don't object
to having this conscience rule my life; I honestly believe that bad
things would happen in real life if I just threw aside my moral code of
conduct. But what pisses me off is that this conscience runs not only
my real life, but also my dream-life.
A while ago, for example, I was out jogging in the early morning with my
husband, when we came upon a blue-eyed blond in a really sexy body suit.
She was lying by the side of a beautiful lake, masturbating. When she
noticed us, she moaned, gave a come-hither look that brought my
husband's cock to attention, and invited us to join her. Then I found
myself saying, "No, we shouldn't do this." My husband replied, "Why
not?". My cunt got this really warm feeling, and I said to myself, "I
think I'm dreaming." Then I continued, "If this is a dream, I can go
ahead...." But then the mere fact that I was thinking that it might be
a dream caused me to awaken from the dream.
Fortunately, my husband is great about things like this. He has given
me permission to cuddle up to him and bang away whenever I feel the
urge. He doesn't even care whether I awaken him or not, and I can
include anyone I want in my fantasies. Just once I'd like to go ahead
with the original dream; but the first time I do that, I'm certain I'll
discover that it wasn't a dream after all.
See what I mean? The analysis of my dreams can get really boring. Delta
has now finished this story, and I still haven't resolved my dilemma.
But I can dream, can't I?
Ratings for "Lucid Dreamer"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Strip Chess" by Delta. This is one of my favorite ever stories.
Some people resist downloading stories that are nine parts long, but
this one is worth it. A group of college kids get together for an
evening of fun, and someone suggests playing strip poker. Knowing she
has no chance at the card game, one of the girls suggests strip chess
instead, with the winner getting the body of the loser. (The observers
make side bets and do things to distract the players). The only bad
part about this story is that I had serious problems with my
concentration the next time I tried to play chess. Really! You don't
have to know chess to love this story, but the chess will make sense to
good chess players. And the sex fantasies make sense to good sex
players.
Ratings for "Strip Chess"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Make ****** Fast" by Delta (delta@bc.sympatico.ca). In these reviews
I have occasionally expressed my bemused bewilderment over the chain
letters that I sometimes receive via e-mail. One of my speculations has
been about the meaning of the statement "this letter has been around the
world five times." Is five times good or bad for e-mail? And how do
they know which direction the mail went in the first place, and what
constitutes a circumnavigation of the globe?
Delta has taken a more detailed, satirical approach in her reaction to
chain spam. The ****** in the title stands for what it usually stands
for on the net, only it's usually spelled ****. Delta's story is based
on the premise that one can send one's lover to the top name in the left
column or whatever those letters require. Sounds like fun, you may
think; but as the story will show, there could be some negative
repercussions.
By the way, I have never given an Orion rating of 10 to anyone.
Ratings for "Make ****** Fast"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "One of Those Days" by Delta (an248969@anon.penet.fi). I feel
honored. Delta read my review of "Turn of the Cards" by RC, in which I
compared that author's work to Deirdre's mind control stories. Delta
pointed out to me that what Deirdre does well is to _not_ allow the
reader to get a clear grasp of what is going on. Never does Deirdre
tell how the mind control is being achieved. We can _guess_, but we
never know. Deirdre does give subtle clues which point in certain
directions; but the story can never actually be figured out - and that
is the strength of writers like Deirdre and Sherwood Anderson.
Once an author unveils a mechanism, be it hypnosis, a mind control
machine, or simply the power of personality, the reader is open to
skepticism. Deirdre, by dint of not explaining anything, avoids this.
Her stories are very short; usually they are more vignettes than
stories. They start in the middle, and they usually end in the middle,
too.
When reading many of Deirdre's stories, the reader is held by the same
fascination as a person watching a train wreck. A "weak" character, by
taking the easy path, becomes entangled in something which a show of
will would have prevented. We think how easily such a thing could
happen, all the while being repelled by the thought, yet fascinated as
the character spirals downwards into the trap to which s/he has opened
her/himself.
The other thing about Deirdre's stories is that they often focus on
"anal delights" which are still a bit taboo, and this raises the ante
somewhat. Delta suggested that perhaps the anal aspect is a draw for me
personally. Perhaps I have misled my readers. I DO enjoy anal sex; but
it's not as if I take it up the ass every night. The fact that other
people consider it to be a special taboo or a distinctive form of
humiliation probably adds to the intimacy I share with my husband during
our relatively rare but highly pleasant anal activities.
Anyway, Delta has written a mind control story. I cannot tell you much
about it, because a major part of your enjoyment will flow from trying
to figure out what is happening. Read it and "enjoy" - as the story
says in its concluding statement.
Ratings for "One of Those Days"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9.5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9.5
* "The Fast" by Delta (an248969@anon.penet.fi). Kerri enjoys
masturbating; but to prove to herself that she is not obsessed or
addicted to the activity, she vows to herself that she will refrain from
her solitary enjoyment for two weeks. It's an interesting idea. Would
such an abstemious regimen enable Kerri to come away with monastic
insights about the superiority of her soul over her body? What sort of
things would she think about when she encountered those situations that
would normally encourage her to bring herself to climax? Could she
actually hold out for two whole weeks; and if so, what would she do when
the fast was over? Just for the record, at the very beginning I
resolved not to masturbate or to have an orgasm for at least four hours
after I finished this story, and I was easily successful. Student essays
make some things easy for English teachers.
Ratings for "The Fast"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "For Celeste" by Delta (an248969@anon.penet.fi). It may be true that
everyone gets fifteen minutes of fame in his or her lifetime; but few
people get an epic poem dedicated to them. I have now received that
honor, even if it is a short epic. I admit that I had a conflict of
interest reviewing this poem; and my dilemma was heightened by the fact
that the United States does not have a poet laureate for us taxpayers to
consult. Therefore, I contacted the poet laureate of England, more
commonly known on the Internet as SirBigStick, who verified the validity
of this review and also offered to dub me his understudy.
To be enjoyed to its fullest, this story has to be read out loud.
Actually, to be enjoyed to its absolute fullest, it should be read out
loud while one is eating one's favorite food and doing one's favorite
thing. Perhaps being covered with warm chocolate syrup would help too.
My point is that many of us in Western society have lost the ability to
communicate in heroic verse, and this story should do as much as
anything to restore that talent to our culture.
In addition to its obvious metric qualities and excellent use of
metaphor, this story/poem effectively uses understatement to describe
the sexual activity between a goddess and her demigod lover in terms
that can be understood by mere mortals.
I showed this story to my husband, and he was at first upset. But then
he realized that the line "shriveled mightily" did not refer to him, but
was actually "shivered mightily" with reference to me.
I enjoyed this story; and I think those of you about whom it's not will
also enjoy it. It's a very clever piece of writing. It really is a
good parody of Homeric verse as that form was often imitated in
Elizabethan times. Or, as SirBigStick put it: "Delta! A Poet? I
didn't know it!"
Ratings for "For Celeste"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The Chambermaid" by Delta (an248969@anon.penet.fi). I am familiar
with Delta primarily as the author of some of my favorite *long*
stories. My all-time favorite is "Strip Chess" - because of that story
I still cannot concentrate properly on strategy during a chess game.
This is a much shorter story - the kind of thing that Ann Douglas or Sue
do so effectively. I was impressed that Delta could write so well in
this different format.
The story is about a woman who has recently broken up with her lover. A
major problem in her life, she feels, is that she is too fastidious and
predictable. She is staying in a motel, and she mistakenly puts the
"Clean room" instead of the "Do not disturb" sign on the door knob while
she takes a shower. When she comes out of the shower and is surprised
to find the chambermaid (a guy) in her room, she impulsively decides to
be a lot less predictable. You'll have to read the story to find out
what this means.
I have a personal insight into how this story was written that makes it
even more impressive to me. When Delta sent me this story, she told me
that she had written a message to a.s.s., but it was obvious to her that
the message really belonged on a.s.s.d. However, she knew that if she
posted it with the latter newsgroup, very few people in her target
audience would see it. So she solved the problem by immediately writing
this entire story, and then she appended the message to the story - and
she could now legitimately post the combination on a.s.s., since it was
a story and her message was part of the disclaimer! Actually, this is
not a new ruse. You possibly know that there is some dispute over the
authorship of Shakespeare's plays. As I understand it, the real story
is that those plays were written by a woman who was in love with her
landlady, at a time when such things were viewed askance (women writing
plays, that is). Anyway, whenever she sent in her rent check, she
enclosed another scene or act (depending on her level of passion at the
time) or a sonnet (if she was really hot). This is only one hypothesis,
but I think it makes a lot more sense than the Francis Bacon theory; and
it also explains why some of the passages make so little sense. From
one perspective, Delta's effort pales in comparison - "Shakespeare" also
put her plays into iambic pentameter and her sonnets sort of rhymed
sometimes.
Ratings for "The Chambermaid"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10