Celestial Reviews 168 - March 29, 1997
Note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my stories for
me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"For Real" by MataHhari (real sex with cyberlover) 10, 9, 9
"Third Cave" by Anonymous (wife watching spelunker) 10, 10, 10
"The Whipping Post" by Delta (bondage) 10, 10, 10
"Birthday Surprise" by Dulcinea (surprise party) 10, 10, 10
"All We Like Sheep" by MC Woodsmoke (mind control) 10, 10, 10
"Incest" by Mat Twassel (non-sex story) 10, 10, 8
"When Knighthood Was in Flower and Maidens Lost
Their Heads" by Unknown Author (chivalry, bdsm &
humor) 10, 10, 10
"The Kiss" by Anglokitty (romantic interlude) 9, 9, 9
* "Bike Rides" by Dulcinea (sexy bike ride) 10, 9, 9
* "I Promise" by Tom Bombadil (romance) 10, 10, 10
* "Superman & the Real American Way" by Reality Lines
(superhero sex) 5, 5, 5
* = Repost of a previous review (because the story has
recently been reposted)
"For Real" by MataHhari (MataHhari@aol.com). The woman has been making
love via modem to the man for quite a while, and now she has traveled to
meet him. He is a musician, and she arrives unexpectedly to surprise
him at the bar at which he plays. Their first experience together is
everything that she had hoped for.
This is the first story submitted by this author. It's very good. It
doesn't quite give me the impression that I am personally watching or
participating in an extremely hot sex scene, but it comes very close. I
hope to see more stories from this author.
Ratings for "For Real"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Third Cave" by Anonymous. This is another one of the "A+ Stories" that
I mentioned last week. It's another good one.
Three men and a woman go spelunking. This term refers not to just
walking through caves, but getting down and dirty while going places
where few humans have ever gone. I have visited caves and have even
made love in total darkness in one, but I did not have to rappel or
crawl several hundred yards, and so I am not a spelunker. I thought you
might want to know that. Anyway, the wife gets separated from the
husband and has some great sex, first with one of the other guys and
then with both of them. I don't recommend this sort of thing -
spelunking, that is - unless you really know what you're doing.
The author does an excellent job of setting up the ambiance, and the
action in the second sex scene is especially hot.
Ratings for "Third Cave"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Whipping Post" by Delta (delta@bc.sympatico.ca). During the early
predawn hours a woman's friend binds her naked to the whipping post in
the center of a small town. It is the town in which she grew up but
where she no longer lives, and she has harbored fantasies about being
exposed to and beaten by the citizens. {This sounds to me like one of
those recurring nightmares.} To her horror - and pleasure - she is
recognized by some of the people who take advantage of the opportunity
to beat her naked body while she has several public orgasms.
I generally dislike stories of beatings and public humiliation, because
I find them to be incomprehensible and annoying. I found this one to be
incomprehensible - but just properly so; I kept thinking that this
didn't quite make sense, but at the same time it did make sense in a
strange way. Likewise, I found it to be annoying - but mostly because I
knew I was enjoying something I didn't want to be enjoying. In a way,
this is like a Deirdre story with more of the details.
Ratings for "The Whipping Post"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Birthday Surprise" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com). To make a long
story short, the man arrives home on his birthday and discovers that his
wife has forgotten all about it. But lo! She fooled him! They have a
very nice, private birthday celebration.
Ratings for "Birthday Surprise"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"All We Like Sheep" by MC Woodsmoke. My initial reaction to this story
was perplexity at its title. What in the world does it mean? I
concluded that it was probably a typographical error. The author either
meant to say "We Are All Like Sheep" - or maybe it was the more bestial
"We All Like Sheep." Actually, the title is stated exactly as the
author intended it. You'll have to read the story to find out what it
means. Hint: It's part of a longer phrase that you'll probably
recognize.
Anyway, the hero of this story is that ubiquitous denizen of a.s.s.: the
electronics genius who knows how to use technology for mind control.
This particular hero has been smitten by the lovely lady at work who has
no time for sex; she just reads her bible and performs church work with
her youth group. A few weeks with our hero's magic mind control tape
takes care of that. She becomes a hot little sex kitten that does her
creator proud - her new creator, not the old one, who may have preferred
her to keep up the work with the youth group.
Omigod! The youth group! Angie was working with two of the girls from
the youth group while she was listening to the subliminal tape; that
means the kids might have heard it too! He had planned to seduce Angie,
but suddenly Stacy and Kayla seem primed and ready to go. {I'm not sure
exactly how state and federal law deal with the accidental exposure of
minors to subliminal seduction. I guess it would depend on whether one
could get the judge and jury to listen to the tape.}
An odd thing about mind control is that it has the capacity within a few
sessions to make people more enthusiastic devotees of an activity than
they would be had they participated in that activity happily for several
years. For example, I myself have enjoyed cock sucking for over 20
years. In a sense, my mind has been programmed to enjoy it, much like
Angie in this story. Yet when I am participating in that activity I
retain control over my brain and can do creative things (like chew gum,
think, and even stop if the performance contradicts an important value
system) while still maintaining my enthusiasm for the activity. This is
a long way of saying that sometimes mind control stories become a bit
simplistic.
Nevertheless, aside from some grammatical flaws, the present story is
highly creative and well worth reading.
Ratings for "All We Like Sheep"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Incest" by Mat Twassel (Mmtwassel@aol.com). I knew it would happen
some day. I just read a whole story submitted to this newsgroup and
enjoyed it but could find no sex at all in it. I found a couple of
"taboos" {the boy almost pees in his bed and the little girl licks the
snot that's running down her own nose} but no sex. Maybe I've just
become jaded by all the other stories. As far as I can see this is a
story about a little boy and a little girl who argue a lot with each
other and compete for the attention of their single mother and then go
out together to play in the snow and hunt with a beebee gun. It was a
very good story; but except for the bit about licking the snot off the
nose, it would be acceptable on children's PBS. Maybe you had better
take a look and see what I missed....
Ratings for "Incest"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"When Knighthood Was in Flower and Maidens Lost Their Heads" by
Unknown Author. In CR 138 I reviewed the first two parts of this
story, which were posted under the title "The Black Knight." The
present version adds one more episode, but it still gives the
appearance of being incomplete. If anyone has more parts to this
story, I'd certainly like to see them.
Sir Englebert the Ungainly is in the midst of a rather hectic
adventure when he comes upon a naked woman - I mean fair maiden -
tied to a stake. The young lady is the nearby village's offering to
one of the great beasts of the forest to persuade that monster to
spare their homes from destruction. If the dragon devours her, he
cannot then in good conscience attack the village. It was a
sensible thing for the villagers to do, and the good knight very
nearly rides on by. But there's something about the fragile beauty
of a damsel in distress with her naked body dangling like a
misplaced modifier from a stake so that her breasts.... The (new)
third episode dwells in detail on the treatment of forest witches.
Having sex with a forest witch was a tricky matter for a knight.
Unless he knew exactly what he was doing, he could become
permanently diverted from his quest - or even worse.
The only significant problem with the story was this sentence: "I
told her that I labored under a curse; that I could not enjoy a
woman who was well and recently spanked." Actually, the opposite
was true: he could not enjoy a woman UNLESS she was well and
recently spanked. It's a big difference, but I figured the curse
correctly from the context. Since the story was otherwise so good,
I decided to forgive this one sin.
Anyway, this is a really excellent story. I don't want to ruin it
for you, but I'll advise you that it's meant to be funny. Thomas
Mallory and Alfred Tennyson may have taken knighthood seriously,
but more recent authors have discovered that knights were really
funny people.
Ratings for "When Knighthood Was in Flower"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Kiss" by Anglokitty (anglokitty@aol.com). This is a brief but
vivid description of a romantic interlude. I usually don't like
second person (you) narratives, but this one works pretty well.
The full focus of this story is that the man is very much in love
with the woman and wants to give her pleasure. Not a bad idea!
Ratings for "The Kiss"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "Bike Rides" by Dulcinea (Dulcinea97@aol.com). The man and woman
are racing their bikes. I suppose he could overtake her, but he
enjoys the view from behind - muscles, buttocks, and all that. In
fact, he sort of envies the bicycle seat - right there between her
legs, up tight against her pussy - well, you get the idea. It's
enough to give a guy a hard-on, and a boner makes it difficult to
race a bicycle. Is that a bicycle pump in his pocket, or is he just
happy to see her? This is a very short, pleasant, and sexy story.
Ratings for "Bike Rides"
Athena (technical quality):10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
* "I Promise" by Tom Bombadil (stbush@iglou.com). This is a very
difficult story for me to write a review about. Especially in the
case of a really good story, I like to summarize the plot without
ruining its potential interest and also to discuss important ideas
or techniques that may arise. The problem with this story is that
it depends very heavily and successfully on releasing ideas a few
at a time; and so I can't tell you much about story without
releasing those ideas and ruining the story for you.
{Incidentally, this story is a good example of when NOT to use the
alphabet soup abbreviations. They would ruin the story by
eliminating all surprise from the plot.}
I guess I can tell you that Chris and Di are an interracial (black
and white) couple planning to get married shortly after Di
graduates from high. Not many people are exactly enthusiastic
about the relationship; but Chris's family seems resigned to the
idea that they will at least live together. The two are deeply
devoted to each other, engage in a lot of kissy-kissy, and look
forward to having a family - although they are not sure their
community will accept them. My summary makes the story sound
blah; but the details make it much more interesting as the plot
unfolds.
Originally (in my review of the original version) I gave the story
a 9 for "plot and character." That's because the story frequently
confused me, and I had to dock the author somewhere for this
confusion. The problem was that almost all of the story consists
of dialogue, and I often had trouble figuring out who was talking
and who was listening. Sometimes even when I went back and checked
from the beginning of a section I couldn't figure out whether an
emotion being expressed belonged to Chris or to Di. Some of this
confusion, I discovered later, was deliberate - that is, things
weren't what they seemed to be, and the author probably wanted me
to feel that ambivalence. The author wanted to keep me confused
so that he could spring surprises on me; but some of the confusion
was inappropriate. The author tried to help by putting clues into
the dialogue (e.g., if the speaker says "honeychile", that must be
Chris); but some of these clues worked for me only in retrospect.
However, it's easier to point out this problem than to solve it.
The author has fixed this in the revision; and now it is an even
better story.
Ratings for "I Promise"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "Superman & the Real American Way" by Reality Lines). This is
listed as "A+ Story: Superman." I reviewed it in CR 98 and am
repeating that review with a few adjustments.
There are basically two ways to deal with Superman in this
newsgroup. First, the author could ask "what if" questions. What
would it be like if Superman fell in love? Or what if he rescued a
woman who fell in love with him? Or what if he mated with another
superhero? This is the approach that Tooshoes followed in her
Supergirl stories, where she explored the emotions that a female
counterpart of Superman would experience if she came to earth
during her adolescence and fell in love. Tooshoes did a good job,
and I approached the present story with the hope that it would
give similar treatment to Superman.
The second approach is to do a parody. In that case the author
would take the major characters from the Superman movies and TV
shows and put them in sexual situations, with a focus on the
resulting irony. For example, I recently saw a segment on
Saturday Night Live where Lois Lane became incapable of
recognizing people whenever they put on or took off their
eyeglasses. The humor arises from the fact that Lois was in love
with Superman but not with Clark Kent - and any moron should have
been able to tell that Superman was Clark without the glasses. I
cannot remember seeing a good Superman parody on a.s.s.
Of course, it's possible to combine the two approaches; and this
is what the present author attempts. His premise is that Superman
gets pissed because he isn't getting any ass and seeks advice from
his adoptive father, who is actually a homicidal pervert and who
advises him to seize power and take pussy whenever he wants it.
Superman joins up with Lex Luthor, takes over the world, and then
comes to rape Lois Lane, who is portrayed as a selfish vixen who
turns the tables on him and forces him to make her the co-ruler of
the world. There's a kernel of an idea here, but the story is
really pretty lame. The characters in this story are simply not
much like those in any of the Superman stories with which I am
familiar.
Ratings for "Superman & the Real American Way"
Athena (technical quality): 5
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 5