Celestial Reviews 166 - March 22, 1997
Note: A man went to see a doctor because of a very high, squeaky,
annoying voice. The doctor examined him, and told him that the only way
would be to replace his extremely large penis with a smaller one. The
guy is desperate and decides to go through with the operation. It's a
great success and the man has a fantastic baritone.
But after some time the guy's sex life deteriorates and he decides to
see the doctor to try get his original equipment back.
He says to the doctor, "Doctor, is there any way that you could get me
my organ back, my sex life has gone to pot."
"Not on your life!!" the doctor replies in a high, squeaky, annoying
voice.
Second Note: Remember: even though someone else may be posting my
stories for me, my e-mail address is still Celeste801@aol.com.
- Celeste
"Of Fights and Fantasy" by Summer's Rose (spanking) 10, 9, 9
"The Tape" by Anglokitty (foursome) 8, 8 8
"Double Entendre" by Mistress Julie (scatology) 9, 5, 3
"At Dawn" by K. Reber (wake-up call) 7, 8, 8
"A Long Hot Summer's Night" by Kisses (blindfolded
threeway) 6, 8, 8
"Tentative Submission" by Kallista (sexy execution) 9.5, 8, 8
"Encounter in Kellen County" by Fred Clarke (adolescent
romps) 10, 10, 10
"Spanish Fly" by Unknown Author (rape) 8, 10, 10
"The Continuing Adventures of Grace: The Beginning" by Goofball
(emerging adolescence) 7, 8, 9
"JayCee" by Vickie Tern (transgender femdom) 10, 10, 10
* "The Thaw" by Jordan Shelbourne (romance) 10, 10, 10
* "BiGirls" by Vickie Tern (transgender femdom) 10,10, 10
* = Repost of a previous review (because the story has
recently been reposted)
"Of Fights and Fantasy" by Summer's Rose (SumersRose@aol.com). The
woman wants to make love to her husband, but he has work that needs to
get done. Important work - right there on his computer. "OK," says the
wife; "I'll just turn off your silly ole computer!" Poof! His work is
gone, and now he is free to frolic with her. Oddly enough, the guy gets
upset, possibly because the computer was not in an auto-save mode.
Anyway, he decides she needs a spanking; and since she has a cute little
ass that reddens nicely when spanked, all of this leads to some exciting
orgasms.
The main shortcoming of this story is the second person (you and I)
point of view. I absolutely do not see how this perspective gains
anything over a third person (he and she) narrative. I am left with the
impression that the author wrote this story for someone else and simply
posted it without bothering to revise it for a more general audience.
Other than that, it's a good story - except that if a guy really wants
his wife to stop turning off his computer, he shouldn't "punish" her
with multiple orgasms. It just won't work.
Ratings for "Of Flights and Fantasy"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"The Tape" by Anglokitty (Anglokitty@aol.com). The man and his wife
watch a sexy tape prepared for them by a couple of their friends. The
tape stimulates them to sexual adventures immediately afterwards and
also to join their friends in a foursome. Some of the sexual activities
are pretty hot and vividly described.
The main shortcomings of this story are (1) faulty proofreading and (2)
the second person (you) point of view adopted by the author. Some
authors are able to deal effectively with the "you" narrative, but I
always get the impression that the author wrote the story for someone
else (as a sort of cyber-romance fantasy) and then decided to post it
without taking into consideration that the new audience no longer shares
the same intimate frame of reference as the original reader. In other
words, when I read this story I had trouble figuring out who "you" was -
it certainly wasn't me; but if not me, then who? My advice is to avoid
second person narratives unless you have a good reason for adopting that
frame of reference.
Ratings for "The Tape"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Double Entendre" by (MistressJulie@MsJulie.com). The moral of this
story is that a guy who is "picking up chicks" should be careful about
going home with three beautiful amazons, no matter how attractive they
are. If they tell you to get lost, do so; otherwise you may find them
flagellating your cock and urinating in your mouth - and that's only for
starters. Be especially careful not to tell them that they are full of
shit - they just might show you, and it might not taste all that good as
it oozes all over your face.
Oddly enough, this story is an advertisement for a web site, where the
lovely ladies who star in this titillating tale offer to meet and take
on all cummers. I guess there's a market for this sort of thing -
especially among women who want revenge against guys who use cheesy
pickup lines and among guys who just really like to be crapped on.
Ratings for "Double Entendre"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 5
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 3
"At Dawn" by K. Reber (krreber@ix.netcom.com). A man wakes up just as
dawn is about to break, gazes at his wife, teases her sexually, and then
makes love to her. Then they go back to sleep. It's a nice romantic
interlude.
Ratings for "At Dawn"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"A Long Hot Summer's Night" by Kisses (Kisses@lovable.com). The guy's
lover ties and blindfolds him prior to sex; and shortly after things
heat up he realizes that there is a second woman in the bed with them.
This story is actually pretty sexy, but it's in desperate need of
proofreading.
Here's a special entry from the Interesting Typo Department: "Within a
few minuets your cock is filling with excitement...." I guess a guy
just can't tell what kind of dance a couple of sexy women will do
together, once they get him tied and blindfolded. A minuet beats a
polka, I guess.
Ratings for "A Long Hot Summer's Night"
Athena (technical quality): 6
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Tentative Submission" by Kallista (kallista@geocities.com). Anna Frost
is to be executed for the revenge slaying of her lover. She decks
herself out in sexy garb and arrives at the appointed time. The
audience waits in eager anticipation to watch the wretched woman expire,
but instead the electricity simply gives her a roaring orgasm. Anna is
taken to the infirmary and shortly thereafter receives a gubernatorial
pardon. But not without a stern lecture about the necessity for
feminine modesty in the future.
It's hard to explain why the events depicted in this story would
transpire. It might have been that the simple absence of underpants had
interfered with the efficient flow of electrical current. It might have
been that the executioner became enraptured by Anna's sensual beauty,
started eating her pussy while he hooked up the lower cables, and had to
be replaced by the warden, who somehow flipped the wrong switch.
Stranger things have happened - well, maybe not. My own opinion is that
things like this often happen when a woman with a palyndromic name faces
execution.
I don't think the title has any real significance with regard to the
plot. I think it just means that the author submitted the story
tentatively.
Ratings for "Tentative Submission"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"Encounter in Kellen County" by Fred Clarke (THC repost). The boy's
family has moved to a remote Amish community, and he figures he's in for
some dry days. But then he meets Sarah, a liberal girl who doesn't
subscribe to quite all the Amish customs. They have some great times
together before he goes away to college. I know I have promised to
defend nuns and the Amish in my reviews, but this girl seems healthy and
requires no defense. It was a sexy story.
Ratings for "Tentative Submission"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Spanish Fly" by Unknown Author. Somebody has been reposting a huge
number of zipped stories. The problem is that it's almost impossible to
tell anything about the stories - except that they ARE stories as
opposed to useless spam or the other trivia that clutter up a.s.s. This
one was listed as sfly.zip. Doesn't tell you much, does it? I wish
there were some way people who offer this service could also post an
index that included at least the full titles and authors of the stories
they are reposting. That way readers could at least match up this
information with my reviews and select some good stories to read.
The present story is about a nasty bastard who spots a beautiful Spanish
girl and decides to rape her. He breaks into her house and subdues her
first. Then he captures her husband when the old guy comes home and ties
him up and makes him watch. The rape is pretty brutal, but it is seen
through the eyes of the asshole executing the rape. There's a note at
the beginning that says someone (perhaps the person who reposted it)
cleaned up the spelling and obvious grammar mistakes, but there are
still lots of more subtle errors - mostly awkwardly dangling modifiers.
Nevertheless, the story is a pretty good description of rape from the
perspective of a pathetic guy who considers himself to be hot stuff.
Ratings for "Spanish Fly"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"The Continuing Adventures of Grace: The Beginning" by Goofball
(Goofy@TheMouse.net). On the verge of graduating from college, Grace
thinks back about her early sexual experiences in the "hollers" of
Eastern Tennessee. Her first time came as part of an innocent
adolescent gangbang, which is the main topic of this story. This story
is obviously incomplete, but interesting and enticing. I'm sure there
must be more of these stories around somewhere. For example, early in
the story, Grace's roommate says to Grace, "I wish I had your body."
Grace replies, "You have {had my body}." Methinks there's another story
in this....
Ratings for "The Continuing Adventures of Grace"
Athena (technical quality): 7
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"A Cousin's Lips" by Mike Hunt (M1KE HUNTAaol.com). You've heard the
expression "kissin' cousins"? Well, these kids go a little beyond that
stage. The narrator's cousin gave him his first blowjob. It all
happened down at a swimmin' quarry in North Dakota. He was 15 and she
was 16 and everybody was naked. Imagine that: a nude beach on the
Riviera of North Dakota.
Actually, these are clean cut kids from the American Midwest, just
swimming and having fun. And so when a guy happens to be sitting naked
on a rock that's just below the surface in the middle of the quarry with
his beautiful cousin's face just a few inches from that cock - well, if
that guy gets a egregious hard-on, a girl would almost HAVE to do
something to make the hard-on go away so that the other kids won't think
he's strange or something when he gets out of the water. You know what
I mean? And so Annette helps Mikey, and all's well that ends well.
That's the way it COULD have happened, but it doesn't. You'll have to
read the story yourself for the real version.
An Interesting Typo Award goes to this story for the "public hair"
between Annette's legs. Hmmm.... since they were skinny-dipping at the
time, maybe the term was more appropriate than the intended "pubic"
variety.
Ratings for "A Cousin's Lips"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"JayCee" by Vickie Tern (VickieTern@AOL.COM). When she was very young,
JayCee had wished she were a boy, because boys had all the fun; but as
she grew into adolescence she discovered that girls had it made, because
they could get boys to worship them and do almost anything to please
them. This is a restatement of the basic femdom philosophy that
pervades most of this author's stories, including this one.
This story has several fascinating subplots, but the main plot involves
the next-door neighbor Jane, who is turning her son Marion into a girl,
who will eventually become Marianne. This is the sort of thing that
inspires JayCee, and she becomes an eager co-conspirator. JayCee gets
paid for her assistance, and Marianne even likes it. As I read this
story, I felt that it was a good one; but what was missing was the
element of surprise that Vickie Tern always includes in her stories.
This one was simply about a boy who wanted to become a girl and who did,
in the end, become a stunningly beautiful and sexy girl. Surprise!
That's not the way it turns out after all.
This week's issue of Time Magazine includes a transgender article
entitled "The Boy Without a Penis." It describes a boy whose penis
became mangled at a very young age, and so his parents had him
surgically altered and made a serious attempt to raise him as a girl.
It turns out that this strategy was disastrously ineffective: the guy
eventually had another operation and is now a happily married man
raising a family of adopted children. One conclusion would be to say
that this factual article suggests that stories like the present one are
merely exercises in fantasy - that it is highly improbable that gender
can be altered as easily as many TG stories suggest. Of course, the
other conclusion would be that the people who attempted the real-life
transformation should have read some of these TG stories first, so that
they could have done it right!
Ratings for "JayCee"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "The Thaw" by Jordan Shelbourne (jordan@u36.kwnet.on.ca ). This is a
revised version of an earlier story. The narrator has recently lost his
wife in an auto accident. He visits her grave frequently and talks to
his late wife. A woman at a nearby gravesite likewise visits her late
husband. They meet and begin a fresh love right there on the
Gunderson's gravesite. This is a well-told, poignant, romantic story.
Ratings for "The Thaw"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
* "BiGirls" by Vickie Tern (VickieTern@aol.com). Craig has
stumbled onto a group of women who call themselves the BiGirls.
They are bisexuals who enjoy giving pleasure to each other as well
as to their husbands or boyfriends; and they take pleasure from
each other the same way, and see no harm in doing so. But their
husbands might not understand. So they don't want Craig snooping
around to take pictures of them to use to blackmail them into not
blackmailing him, so that he can blackmail them into selling
insurance to their husbands. From now on, when they're meeting,
they'll want to know exactly where Craig is. And that'll be right
there with them at their little sex session. Thus does Craig
become an honorary member of the BiGirls Club.
Kinda catches your attention, doesn't it?
Of course there are catches and conditions. For example, Craig
has to wear female clothing during the meetings and has to act as
much as possible like a woman. This may sound humiliating; but
the way the author presents it, Craig actually enjoys it
immensely. The activity even improves his sex life with his wife.
A Club rule is that a BiGirl who is unoccupied at a meeting can
never refuse another member's request, and Craig soon begins
looking for interesting things to do with each of the other
ladies. Anything at all is permitted, as long as it is something
one woman can do with another.
Oh - and Craig also takes medication, so that his erections become
fewer and softer. At BiGirl meetings all danger of inadvertent
penetration eventually ends. Craig progresses very well, and the
other girls practically applaud the first time he takes a dildo up
the ass. The other girls become openly affectionate toward Craig.
The experience brings out his feminine side - making him a better
person.
Eventually Craig is seriously considering going for full rather
than honorary membership in the Club (without surgery, of course);
but then his wife throws in a monkey wrench, so to speak. Things
get very complicated. As usual, the last quarter of the story is
full of surprises; and this author does a great job of making even
the most bizarre events seem perfectly sensible by the end of the
story.
Ratings for "BiGirls"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10