Celestial Reviews 161 - February 26, 1997
Note: I have discovered that the actual author of "Sense of Hearing"
(reviewed as the work of Unknown Author in CR 160) is Peter Principle.
One of the shortcomings of some of the reposting services is that they
often post stories without the names of the original authors. This
removal is a disservice: the only compensation authors receive is the
credit or recognition they get for having written their stories. I
truly appreciate it when people give me the correct names of authors
whom I have mis-identified.
Second Note: I might add that alt.sex.stories.moderated is off to a
successful start. If you're looking for stories that are almost certain
to be actual stories (as opposed to spam), this is a good place to look.
The moderator does not try to guarantee that they are GOOD stories, but
I have found that I have reviewed about half of the stories that appear
there, and many of them are pretty good. I encourage authors whose
stories I review to post with alt.sex.stories.moderated.
Thir Note: I thought you might be interested in this list from David
Letterman of things that sound dirty at the office but aren't:
10. I need to whip it out by 5!
9. Mind if I use your laptop?
8. Put it in my box before I leave.
7. If I have to lick one more, I'll gag!
6. I want it on my desk, NOW!
5. HMMMMMMMMMMM....I think it's out of fluid.
4. My equipment is so old it takes forever to finish.
3. It's an entry-level position.
2. When do you think you'll be getting off today?
AND NUMBER 1
1. It's not fair...I do all the work while he just sits there.
- Celeste
"Have Gun Will Travel" by Shelby Bush (TV parody)
10, 10, 10
"Outdoors" by Planet Mojo (voyeurism & outdoor sex)
9.5, 9, 9
"Spanish Lessons" by P. D. Michael (wife-watching) 8, 8, 8
"My Juno" by Morgan Preece (flirtation) 9, 10, 10
"Supergirl and X" by M D James (superhero rape & sex) 9, 9, 9
"A Change in Plans" by Dulcinea (friendly bondage) 10, 10, 10
"Good Lord, Jeeves, It's Her!" by MrSpraycan (sexual humor)
9, 9, 9
"Teasers," by Vickie Tern (sexual excerpts) 10, 8, 8
"Have Gun Will Travel" by Shelby Bush (stbush@iglou.com). There are
certainly better stories on this newsgroup - perhaps with hotter sex and
more fully developed plots; but as a pastiche of a popular TV show of
the early 1960s, this story is excellent. It explores what the highly-
rated western would have been like, had it been allowed to have sex as a
natural part of the plot. I watched this show only rarely; it must have
been in conflict with Lawrence Welk or something else that my family
watched in black and white, but I could see that the parallels to the
original show were well done. In addition, even if you've never seen
the TV show, the story stands pretty well on its own.
Ratings for "Have Gun Will Travel"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Outdoors" by Planet Mojo (Mojo@bitsmart.com). As I understand it,
Planet Mojo is the name of a web site (http://www.planetmojo.com) at
which this and other stories can be found. This story is about a woman
who has discovered that her husband's passion for her has cooled in the
days since they tied the knot. While she accompanies him on a
birdwatching expedition, she comes upon <g> another couple making love
in the woods. This inspires her to think of ways to spice up her own
love life.
Ratings for "Outdoors"
Athena (technical quality): 9.5
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Spanish Lessons" by P. D. Michael (pdmm@interlog.com). The husband has
been fooling around; and the conservative, virtuous wife has become
upset. To set matters straight, they decide that she should have a
fling of her own. Once the wife discovers the thrill of infidelity,
there's no stopping her. The husband finds his pleasure in watching her
get boinked by Raoul and his friends.
Ratings for "Spanish Lessons"
Athena (technical quality): 8
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8
"My Juno" by Morgan Preece (zanna@whoever.com). Our narrator is a
dimmunitive gent - too tall to be a circus midget but too small to make
much progress in even high school football. His Juno is a stately
woman, nearly a foot taller in heels. He seems to have a tall woman
fetish. This is a very interesting story of the little feller's pick-up
lines and seduction of his goddess, whose real name is Juliette.
Ratings for "My Juno"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Supergirl and X" by M D James (dmatthew@ix.netcom.com). At the
beginning of the story we learn that Supergirl has been infatuated with
Lex Luthor. Can this be true? Isn't Lex Luthor an evil person? Holy
Ambivalence.... Ooops! That's the wrong superhero.
In the present episode Supergirl pursues Luthor, but he tortures her
with his Orgasmatron. Then Lex Luthor fucks Supergirl - well, not
really Lex Luthor - actually X Luthor, one of those X-Men, of comic book
fame, who has taken on the appearance of Lex. In some weird sense,
Supergirl is even X's mother.
I have to admit that I am not up to date on my comic book literature.
This story was full of allusions to people I knew not of. I felt like I
was in a comic book version of one of T.S. Eliot's poems.
Ratings for "Supergirl and X"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"A Change in Plans" by Dulcinea (ImDulcinea@aol.com). The man comes
home with plans to take his wife out for a movie, but he finds that she
has bound herself up to be his slave girl. He likes her that way, and
keeps her in gentle bondage for the evening. She can be the dominatrix
the next day. This same author has also reposted her very short "A
Helping Hand" this week
Ratings for "A Change in Plans"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 10
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 10
"Good Lord, Jeeves, It's Her!" by MrSpraycan
(mrspraycan.an@edtec.com). Bertie Wooster and Jeeves are
characters in a series of books by the British humorist P.G.
Wodehouse. I first read Wodehouse many years ago in a bad English
class in college, and I had forgotten about him until an Unknown
Author posted a couple of stories about a person named Bertram and
his valet Cheeves. I liked those stories a lot and received
encouragement from some British readers to read some Bertie and
Jeeves stories. I did so, and I found them to be delightful.
In the original Wodehouse stories Bertie Wooster is a member of
the British ruling class who is totally jobless and clueless, but
lives the quaint, insipid life of the British aristocracy. Jeeves
is his valet, or a gentleman's gentleman, as Bertie refers to him.
Bertie gets into trouble, usually involving women (mostly his
aunts) and Jeeves saves him from various fates worse than death.
That is the standard plot. The literati from the Motherland will
already know this, but we Colonials would be clueless as a crown
prince without this commentary.
The earlier Bertram stories were very much in the style of
Wodehouse. For example, "Bertram I" was an adventure with Aunt
Agnes, in which he successfully utilized the one-man band
technique on her pussy and asshole, followed by a vigorous double-
holing with the assistance of the sainted Cheeves. In "Bertram
II" the chap was again summoned to his Aunt Agnes's house on the
occasion of his cousin Wilhelmina's 21st birthday. "Cheeves!"
exclaims Bertram, "this is a disaster! Whatever shall I give
her?" What indeed! As usual, Cheeves is happy to be of service.
If someone would like to repost these two earlier stories, I'm
sure readers would appreciate it.
The present story is not quite as good a parody of Wodehouse, but it's
still a good story. The setting shifts from bygone days to contemporary
times, with Bertie being hunted down by a stripper and his dance
partner, a muscular black gentlemen who carries an AK47 and who Bertie
seems to have sodomized in the course of a playful strip show. This is
the first of a multipart series that looks like it's going to be pretty
good.
Ratings for "Good Lord, Jeeves, It's Her!"
Athena (technical quality): 9
Venus (plot & character): 9
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 9
"Teasers" by Vickie Tern (VickieTern@aol.com). This is a series of
short, unrelated passages that generally have a transgender or femdom
theme. Each is provocative enough to make the reader wonder what this
is all about and to stimulate the imagination. It's kind of like lying
in bed trying to sleep while your spouse channel surfs on a cable system
that has only erotic stories. You would hear parts of several
consecutive stories. Each segment would put ideas into your head that
you could either go with or not, and then you would abruptly move on to
another channel. This was an interesting experience.
Ratings for "Teasers"
Athena (technical quality): 10
Venus (plot & character): 8
Celeste (appeal to reviewer): 8