Celestial Reviews 9 - August 5, 1995 - by Celeste Brief note: There are some really good stories in this bunch this week. I also want to apologize to people who have sent me stories for review. I appreciate receiving them, but I simply cannot read more stories and still have a "real life." I'll get to them as soon as I can. Ribald #1 - Tabitha by Anonymous (older man & young woman) 6 "A Chance Meeting" by Anonymous (teen romance) 9 "First Attempt At Writing An Erotic Story" by Sofonda Peters. (Cybersex masturbation) 9 "Meeting Amanda" by Backrub (sex with a vampire) 10 "Susan and Becky" by Jonathan Dzoba. (teen ff romance) 10 "Diana" by Malinov (cunnilingus) 8 "My Family" by David Mauas. (mindless sex) 1 "Jennifer" by Brian (teen romance) 4 "Office Girl" by Exotica (white slavery) 6 "Livid Rose" by Moser (hot sex in mysterious scenario) 8 "Across the Catty Corner" by Backrub (voyeurism, mutual masturbation and hot sex) 10 "Tammy in the Rain" by Tammy Ng. (No rating yet) Ribald #1 - Tabitha. Daddy has for a long time been a distant admirer of the fair Tabitha, who has been a close friend of his daughter for the past 18 years. His dreams are fulfilled when she spots him watching television in bed late one night and asks to join him. (Rating: 6) "A Chance Meeting" by Anonymous. This is a story about a teenager's first sexual experience. The boy meets the girl first by e-mail, then by telephone, and then in person. The author gives us a build-up that makes us understand why these two people care about each other. I like this. The love scene is sexy and tender. It almost makes me believe that it is even nicer for young people to find out about love and sex together like this than from some of the experienced adults who are promoted as sexual teachers in some of the other stories found on this newsgroup. I have only one fault with the content of this story. After inserting his penis, the boy withdraws it, and the narrator says: "I wasn't stupid -- I didn't want to get her pregnant." Actually, he *was* stupid; people reading this story should certainly be aware that while withdrawing before climax reduces the likelihood of pregnancy, it is an extremely lousy form of birth control. Check alt.sex.wizards FAQ 12 for details. It was an extremely nice story. Here's some advice to authors. I understand and respect the need for anonymity, but please use a name of some kind to indicate authorship. I think most readers who enjoy this story would be inclined to look for other stories by the same author; but all he/she gives us is an anon address, which nobody with hormones will ever remember. The author of the first story in this set of reviews solved this problem by labeling the stories Ribald #1, etc. That will work too, as long as he/she is willing to keep using that format. We don't really need to know who you really are, but there really is some benefit in being able to associate stories with a common source. (Rating: 9) "First Attempt At Writing An Erotic Story" by Sofonda Peters. The author says this is her first effort, and it's pretty good; it would be good even for a veteran writer. It's about a woman masturbating at her keyboard. Pretty strange idea, huh? I'll bet none of you have ever tried that. The clincher here is that she describes how she managed to suck her own clit. It's obvious, now that she mentions it; but I have to admit that I never thought of this technique myself. Live and learn! One suggestion: As I've said many times, it really doesn't hurt to proofread. I imagine even I make typing and grammar mistakes, and some of them are probably pretty funny. One mistake this author makes is getting the verb tenses mixed up; she should just stick with the present tense. The other mistake is more humorous: she misspells the word "muscles." As I literally understand the story, the protagonist has little crabs (mussels) inside her cunt that playfully contribute to her orgasm. Sofonda should probably ignore my rude comment (which probably arises from my latent need to dominate people with sexy names) and continue writing good stories. I expect she will continue to thrive as an author. A further problem is this author's name. If you're going to go with Sofonda Peters, why not Sofonda Cox? Perhaps Cox was already taken. Actually, she was probably named Sofonda by her parents, Mr. and Mrs. Dixon, and was engaged to a guy named Cox (which would have made her Sofonda Dixon Cox), when she fortunately fell in love with a guy named Peters. If this is Sofonda's real name, I apologize. But if David Letterman can make fun of Dick Assman on national television.... Just before this went to press, I was scanning alt.sex.wizards, where I came across "Guide to Cunnilingus." Since I have my own resident expert on this topic living in my own house, I was tempted to skip it. But it was posted by Sofonda Peters! So we have a wizard amongst us. It's really an exceptionally good guide. In addition, I might add that although about 80% of a.s.w. is sheer nonsense (about the same as a.s.s., I guess) there's some really good stuff there. I strongly recommend their FAQs (a series of 13 written by Elf Sternberg), their Guides on various topics, and the polyamory material that occasionally appears there. Anyhow, this was a good story. (Rating: 9) "Meeting Amanda" by Backrub. Here we have what my psychology professor referred to as an approach-avoidance dilemma. (When the prof told us about it, she talked about pigeons; but I'm pretty sure I still have the idea right.) I had never read a Backrub story I *didn't* like; but I had never read a vampire story that I *did* like. The tension alone, of course, would have made a less sophisticated woman cum in her panties; but I was wearing none. Therefore, I boldly went where I had never gone before.... What I like most about Backrub is his/her use of language and imagery: "From twenty feet away she looked like a living statue, weathered brown but taut and strong. Her short black hair barely moved with her movements." That's beautiful. The yet unknown woman was coming to life for me, but remaining mysterious. The imagery remained vivid as the story got hotter. To find out more, you'll have to read the story. I still don't plan to look for vampire movies, but I do plan to read more Backrub stories. And for some reason I just remembered it's about time for me to give blood again. (Rating: 10) "Susan and Becky" by Jonathan Dzoba. This story is written in the format of letters from Susan, who is a teenager at an all-girls band camp, to her boyfriend. After a brief build-up in the first three letters, the final two letters describe the girl's sexual intimacy with her female roommate. I found the descriptions to be wonderfully erotic. The notion that the story is being told in letters to her boyfriend adds a bit of titillation to the story. What I don't understand is how somebody named Jonathan Dzoba could understand so thoroughly the emerging sexual feelings of a blossoming young woman. Excellent story. (Rating: 10) "Diana" by Malinov. Tender but hot reminiscences about giving head to the fair Diana. The only things that threw me off about this story were a bit of discontinuity and a sudden apparently pointless shift from the first to the third person point of view near the end. Still well worth reading. (Rating: 8) "My Family" by David Mauas. I don't want to appear unfriendly or critical of lifestyles that differ radically from my own. So let me point out that it is the author himself who subtitles this story "Puke While Reading." NOW DON"T GIVE UP. I read this goddam story, and this review is interesting, even if the story isn't. The story begins with the hero upset because his sister has been arguing with him; so he goes to his room, where he begins rubbing his dog's private parts. Of course, when Punchy gets aroused, the lad lets the hound cum in his mouth, and naturally he swallows the vitamin-rich, sweet juices. (This may sound unhealthy, but our hero does brush his teeth right afterwards.) The story gets even more arousing. Shortly after the incident with the dogs (Yes, there were two; I forgot to tell you he also fucked Jadie.) his lovely sister asks him if he would like to have sex with her. Jake is aghast, telling "beth" that he has never even thought of doing something this repulsive, because it would be "moraly wrong." But she persists and he falls to her wiles. After our young philosopher has first oral and then ordinary but passionate sex with his sister, that damsel falls asleep. As he leaves her bedroom, his mother drags him into her own bedroom and has sex with him. (At least I think it was his mother. He referred to her as Mom and she had breasts; but it may have been a sheep or something. I quote: "Mom naturally got pregnant, and today, two weeks after the incident, she still hasn't had a abortion. I hope she does." {Yeah, we wouldn't want any inbreeding here.} I don't want to be picky about this otherwise well-researched story, but I don't think ordinary humans can accurately determine they're pregnant that quickly; but sheep can. Hence my suspicion that Mom is a sheep or maybe an aardvark. Possibly a rabbit - that would explain a lot) But I'm giving away too much of the story. I don't want to write an unduly enthusiastic review of this story; in spite of the effluence of inane mediocrity cited in the previous paragraph, this story is essentially illiterate. And I say that in all friendliness; the author makes no pretensions to erudition. His only goal is to describe sexual activities in as many disgusting ways as possible - as he puts it himself in a moment of accidental eloquence: to make us puke while we read. The story does supply proof that it is indeed possible to write several thousand consecutive, partially coherent words at a word processor while high on whatever drug this writer was using at the time. I honestly enjoyed the story - or at least as much of it as I read before I puked. (I shouldn't have said that. It will give him a new idea for another chapter.) (Rating: 1) "Jennifer" by Brian. A young girl, who is a virgin, breaks up with her boyfriend and gets a ride home from a male friend who has previously not been sexually attracted to her. They make love, and then she makes lesbian love to her best friend while the guy has anal intercourse with her. The story didn't quite ring true to me. The story is possible of course; but too much seemed to happen too fast for no apparent reason except to work the sexual activity into the story. (Rating: 4) "Office Girl" by Exotica. This is a chilling tale of a young girl becoming a sex slave for a company of women. It's clearly written and fairly explicit, but not at all unusual for stories of this type. (Rating: 6) "Livid Rose" by Moser. The author has done an excellent job of creating a mysterious, dream-like atmosphere in which to present very hot sex. In real life, I suppose lots of us (if we were honest) would admit we would enjoy finding a place like the author describes; but that's impossible - although I guess rich people mistakenly spend a lot of money looking for this. In the near-real life of porn movies, directors have tried to produce this impact; but the results are almost always tawdry and phony in their appearance. By putting this story in writing, the author leaves enough to the readers' personal imaginations to make seem real what is impossible to find in real life or to portray on a screen. One sequence contains male-male sexual activity, and some heterosexual male readers will get turned off about this. Female readers, I think, are likely to tolerate but not particularly enjoy reading about the guy taking it up the ass. (On the other hand, the author assures me that he has gotten favorable reactions from guys about this sequence.) I myself am attracted by either hetero or girl-girl activity; and I just don't care about guy-guy activity, although I often enjoy the description of the emotions surrounding the activity. When I read the security guard sequence, I wasn't exactly turned off - I even found it interesting, but not arousing. I also had a little trouble understanding the logic of the story. I think the logic is there; but it's closely intertwined with the mystery elements. I had to work at understanding the logic and was tempted to skip over it and just get on with the sex. Overall, however, this is a really good story. The only real problem is that it left me feeling that it wasn't finished - which is a fact that the author acknowledges. (Rating: 8) "Across the Catty Corner" by Backrub. In Celestial Reviews 4, I gave a rating of 10 to "Catty Corner" by Sue. I pointed out that "Catty Corner" came with a double whammy - a voyeur watching a voyeur and then the voyeurs watching each other. This story brings us to either a triple or quadruple whammy - or at least a roaring orgasm. "Across the Catty Corner" tells the same story from the viewpoint of the voyeur in the first story, and then goes on to describe what happens afterwards. It's simply delightful! I hope that Sue reads this review and reposts "Catty Corner" as soon as possible. I think the second story will stand alone; but I know I enjoyed it more after first reading Sue's story. Incidentally, I can just imagine Deidre or Tammy Ng writing a sequel to this story - probably from the perspective of one of them leaving a telephone message for the other about what they did while they read this pair of stories - or perhaps what an unnamed reviewer did shortly after reading these stories. No - that's too much of a stretch. (Rating: 10) "Tammy in the Rain" by Tammy Ng. I have just become aware of the writings of Deidre and Tammy Ng. If you're like me, you've been letting their writings slide right past you. I wish they would just put "(Ng Sisters)" in the title line. I just downloaded this one and haven't had time to read it; but I'm willing to bet it's good. I wouldn't have noticed it if Deidre hadn't e-mailed me to watch for it. I'll review it next time; but you may want to grab it before it gets away. The other stories I have read by these two writers are extremely creative and very hot. (No rating yet)