Celestial Reviews 36 - Nov 11, 1995

Note:  I posted a Celestial Summary on Nov 8.  This is a list of all 
the stories I have reviewed, along with an extremely brief summary and 
my rating of each story.  I shall repost this list again on November 
15.  Between these two dates authors may wish to repost stories that 
appear in this Summary.  That will enable readers to find stories that 
they may wish to read.  In addition, today (Saturday, November 11) I 
shall repost all of the Celestial Reviews that I have written up till 
now.  I am reposting these on alt.sex.stories.d (not on 
alt.sex.stories).  Those of you who have requested copies can download 
them at this time.  This is the last time I'll do this; it's simply 
getting too difficult to repost so many stories.  If someone has a 
better idea, I'll be happy to cooperate.

   - Celeste

      "Big Mistake" by Anonymous (rape) 6
      "VP Miyu" by Anonymous (forced seduction) 7
      "Entertainment" by Deirdre (dancing & ff sex) 8
      "Everything" by Deirdre (bondage and oral & anal sex) 4
      "Exam" by Deirdre (bondage & oral sex) 6
      "Camping" by Theresa (passionate romance) 4
      "War Games" by Estragon (emerging adolescence) 10

"Big Mistake" by Anonymous (an121693@anon.penet.fi).  I was a little 
bit leery as I approached this story.  Because of the vagaries of the 
anonymous file server, I somehow managed to see a denunciation of this 
story on a.s.s. before I could even find the story.  Then a day later a 
copy of the story arrived in my e-mailbox with a note from the author 
stating that he thought I would not like it.  However, this is a well-
written part of a story.  The reason for its relatively low rating is 
that it is simply not a complete story - just a description of an 
isolated event.  The letter that denounced the story said: "I fail to 
see the erotic content of this one.  All women are beautiful to me and 
the thought of forcing Gods most precious gift to man (WITHOUT HER 
CONSENT!!!) to my sexual desires is not erotic, IT,S RAPE!!!!!  AND 
IT,S WRONG!!!!!!!"  I agree; but this newsgroup is about "sex," not 
"erotica."  The story certainly is about sex, and so it belongs on this 
newsgroup.  The author of the condemnatory letter was obviously 
concerned about the story's social implications: stories like this 
might lead to greater disrespect for women or even to more rapes.  
That's where I disagree.  This story presents the rapist as a mindless 
asshole; the message is "rape is hell."  That's realistic.  Other 
stories present rapists as oversexed men who give women what they 
"really want"; they preach the doctrine that "rape is inevitable, relax 
and you'll enjoy it."  That's baloney.  It's the latter doctrine (which 
is not preached in this story) that is unrealistic and possibly 
dangerous.  (Rating: 6)

"VP Miyu" by Anonymous (an121693@anon.penet.fi).  This is a satire of 
Japanese porn flicks.  As cosmopolitan as I claim to be in my tastes, I 
have nevertheless never seen a Japanese porn film, nor am I now 
motivated to head for my Ballbuster Video Store to rent one.  However, 
as I read this story I think I was able to form an opinion of that art 
genre, just by making inferences from the satire.  Apparently, Japanese 
men in porn movies (like many of their American and European 
counterparts) seize innocent women (let's see, perhaps a Vampire 
Princess named Miyu or an innocent vixen named Tracy) under incredible 
circumstances; and then the men pleasure themselves with these woman, 
who at first fight it and then realize they like it and beg for more.  
Even in my ignorance of the "art" form, I enjoyed this story; and I 
imagine a person who has watched such films would enjoy this satire 
even more than I did.  (Rating: 7)

"Entertainment" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi).  There's a moral to 
this story.  Don't let the stripper handcuff you to a chair before she 
gives you a demo of the dance she plans to do at your fiance's bachelor 
party - at least not unless you want to spend the rest of your sexual 
life eating the cunts of her and her friend, running their errands, and 
being a general sex slave.  But I already knew that.  Heck, I thought 
everybody knew that!  (Rating: 8)

"Everything" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi).  Most of Deirdre's 
stories have a weird plot to them, but this one is a disorganized 
conglomeration of weird sexual activities, with an emphasis on bondage 
and anal sex.  The story is told from the viewpoint of a woman whose 
friends support her through a difficult divorce; then as the title 
says, they do "everything" with her. (Rating: 4)

"Exam" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi).  A man goes for a checkup; 
but he discovers that the doctor and nurses are engaging in some kind 
of perverse sexual activities.  Being an upright and honorable man, he 
leaves; but he meets a neighbor on the way out of the office.  Not 
being so upright and honorable after all, he accepts a blow job from 
her and accepts a ride with her to a strange house, where even stranger 
things go on inside.  (Rating: 6)

"Camping" by Theresa (theresat@cdsnet.net). This is a snippet of a 
story about a woman who surprises her lover while he is camping in the 
woods.  It is the first posting by an author who shows excellent 
potential but who displays some serious flaws in this initial effort.  
Since large numbers of aspiring authors read these reviews and since 
the author specifically requested comments, I offer the following 
comments, which I hope will be accepted in the constructive spirit in 
which I am writing them,

Here is a passage from this story:

"His eyes were closed and the lightning caused his eyelids to glow.  He 
could feel his heartbeat jump with every explosion of thunder.  Calm 
was what he reached for and calm was what he began to feel.  Until her 
fingers touched his neck.  He nearly leapted from my skin.  A shudder 
washed over his body as her hot breath touched his cool skin."

This passage is a mixture of the poetic and the confusing.  I think it 
would be instructive for aspiring authors to try to revise this passage 
in ways that retain its emotion and imagery, while eliminating the 
confusion.  For example, as I read this passage, I thought there were 
three persons (expressed as "he," "her," and "my").  That's not the 
case; the "my" is apparently a mistake for "her."  Next, what exactly 
is the guy doing when he "nearly leapt from her skin?"  {Note: 
"leapted" is not a word.  A spellcheck would have caught this mistake.}  
I assume he was moving away suddenly or in some other way showing that 
he was startled.  My next point may sound picky; but exactly what was 
happening when the lightning caused the man's eyelids to glow.  This 
sounds eerie, and probably impossible - it conflicts with the mood that  
the author is trying to set.

By no means am I trying to make the point that this writer is a moron.  
I think she is to be commended for trying to put into words the 
emotions that would surround the scene she describes in this story.  As 
I have said, the wording is often poetic; but it's also confusing.  
Other authors who have posted on a.s.s. have shown the same problem; 
they try to express their emotions, and these feelings make sense to 
them; but they fail to convey these emotions clearly to the intended 
audience.  What the great authors (including those many excellent 
authors who write for a.s.s.) do is take one more important step 
between typing their feelings into a word processor and posting the 
story: they carefully proofread their work (or ask someone else to do 
this for them).  It may sound boring to spend time doing this; but 
unless the reader was there and actually saw what the author is writing 
about, the reader needs help in getting this message.  It is the 
author's responsibility to supply this help by making sure that the 
story conveys this message clearly and unambiguously.  

I hope this author continues to write and to develop her ideas.  And I 
hope this advice is helpful to her and to other aspiring authors.  
(Rating: 4)

"War Games" by Estragon (an356608@anon.penet.fi).  The little boys are 
playing war games and the little girls are bored.  They plead with the 
boys to be allowed to play, and eventually the boys give in and let 
them be nurses.  The narrator convinces the most sophisticated (and 
initially most resistant) boy to be "wounded," and when the next two 
oldest boys see the "treatment" he is getting, they also develop wounds 
that require attention from the other two nurses.  And so the little 
girls explore and experiment with the bodies of the little boys.

I would have preferred a nice, sweet story in which the little girls 
affectionately jack the little boys off.  Note to all you little girls 
and boys who are NOT reading this review and who will certainly not 
read this story: I am not recommending that you should actually do this 
when you are twelve years old.  Instead, wait till you grow up and then 
fantasize that you did this.  If little girls do this, they should be 
aware that (1) the little boy may be a little asshole instead of a cute 
little feller like those we encounter in this story, (2) people get 
really bad diseases and possibly become pregnant when they fool around 
with sex when they don't really know what they are doing, (3) having a 
reputation as a little slut may be detrimental to lots of opportunities 
that will present themselves in your life, (4) people who start having 
sex too young find it really hard to stop and it may be better to be 
more mature before you get started at something as important as this, 
and (5) actually doing some of the things in this story may conflict 
with moral values that are important to you.  I would also like to say 
to the young people who are NOT reading this story that even though I 
think it's fine for you to fantasize about these things I really cannot 
suggest that you use a story like this for fantasy material, because 
it's against the law in my jurisdiction for me to give advice like that 
to people who are "under age."  People who are my age and make laws may 
themselves fantasize about children doing these things; and even if 
they don't, they fantasize that by making laws they can keep children 
from even thinking about these things.  They even fantasize that young 
children will not learn these things from the gutter or from really bad 
stories if we keep them away from really good stories.  It's not hard 
to imagine which of the fantasies described in this paragraph are the 
silliest, is it?

I don't know how that paragraph got there.  Must be that Michelangelo 
virus acting up again.  Anyhow, I would have liked the little boys and 
little girls to have mutually pleasured one another; but that's not 
quite the way Estragon works.  If you've read this author's previous 
works, you know that a basic tenet promulgated by this author is that 
men are here as servants and playthings of women.  And so, instead of 
fondling the wounded soldier's penis until he comes, the nurse 
instructs him to lie still while she tries to lift him up by one of his 
pubic hairs.  Etc. War may be hell, but war games can be Learning 
Experiences.
As I have said in a previous review of Estragon's stories, I myself 
don't wholeheartedly accept Estragon's notions of the Sisterhood (my 
word, not hers), but there certainly is a kernel of truth in them; and 
in this story she repeats them through the Learning Experiences of the 
narrator: "Boys are like nothing. They're like optical illusions, you 
know? They might look big, but they're actually only a few inches long, 
if you get what I mean. WE scare THEM."  To learn more, you'll have to 
read the story yourself.  

The only problem I had with this story was that it was totally devoid 
of quotation marks.  I guess that's because it is written from the 
perspective a twelve-year-old girl who had things other than 
punctuation on her mind.  I adjusted to their absence, and I'm sure you 
will too.  This is another excellent, fascinating story.  (Rating: 10)

TIP OF THE WEEK:  In each issue of Celestial Reviews I present one of 
the guidelines from Celestial Grammar, which I have posted on alt 
sex.stories.d. and which I'll continue to develop and revise from time 
to time.  My theory is that if all of these tips were followed, about 
95% of the really distracting errors in a.s.s. stories would be 
eliminated.  (The other 5% will eventually be covered in Advanced 
Celestial Grammar.)  I was going to name this part of the column TIP OF 
THE {something sexual}, but I thought the innuendo might detract from 
the sober serious business at hand.


This week I did not have time to write a Tip, because reposting the old
reviews took too much of my time.  I'll resume the Tips in the next issue.

NOTE: I HAVE REPOSTED ALL THE PAST ISSUES OF CELESTIAL REVIEWS ON
ALT.SEX.STORIES.D. (NOT ON ORDINARY ALT.SEX.STORIES).  IF YOU WANT THESE
BACK COPIES OF THE REVIEWS, PLEASE LOOK FOR THEM THERE.

I HAVE PHYSICALLY POSTED THESE BACK ISSUES, AND I HAVE NOT RECEIVED ANY
MESSAGE FROM MY AOL SERVICE TELLING ME THAT THERE WAS A PROBLEM.  HOWEVER,
I HAVE NOT YET SEEN THEM POSTED THERE.  IF A PROBLEM OCCURS, I'LL TRY
AGAIN.