Celestial Reviews 36 - Nov 11, 1995 Note: I posted a Celestial Summary on Nov 8. This is a list of all the stories I have reviewed, along with an extremely brief summary and my rating of each story. I shall repost this list again on November 15. Between these two dates authors may wish to repost stories that appear in this Summary. That will enable readers to find stories that they may wish to read. In addition, today (Saturday, November 11) I shall repost all of the Celestial Reviews that I have written up till now. I am reposting these on alt.sex.stories.d (not on alt.sex.stories). Those of you who have requested copies can download them at this time. This is the last time I'll do this; it's simply getting too difficult to repost so many stories. If someone has a better idea, I'll be happy to cooperate. - Celeste "Big Mistake" by Anonymous (rape) 6 "VP Miyu" by Anonymous (forced seduction) 7 "Entertainment" by Deirdre (dancing & ff sex) 8 "Everything" by Deirdre (bondage and oral & anal sex) 4 "Exam" by Deirdre (bondage & oral sex) 6 "Camping" by Theresa (passionate romance) 4 "War Games" by Estragon (emerging adolescence) 10 "Big Mistake" by Anonymous (an121693@anon.penet.fi). I was a little bit leery as I approached this story. Because of the vagaries of the anonymous file server, I somehow managed to see a denunciation of this story on a.s.s. before I could even find the story. Then a day later a copy of the story arrived in my e-mailbox with a note from the author stating that he thought I would not like it. However, this is a well- written part of a story. The reason for its relatively low rating is that it is simply not a complete story - just a description of an isolated event. The letter that denounced the story said: "I fail to see the erotic content of this one. All women are beautiful to me and the thought of forcing Gods most precious gift to man (WITHOUT HER CONSENT!!!) to my sexual desires is not erotic, IT,S RAPE!!!!! AND IT,S WRONG!!!!!!!" I agree; but this newsgroup is about "sex," not "erotica." The story certainly is about sex, and so it belongs on this newsgroup. The author of the condemnatory letter was obviously concerned about the story's social implications: stories like this might lead to greater disrespect for women or even to more rapes. That's where I disagree. This story presents the rapist as a mindless asshole; the message is "rape is hell." That's realistic. Other stories present rapists as oversexed men who give women what they "really want"; they preach the doctrine that "rape is inevitable, relax and you'll enjoy it." That's baloney. It's the latter doctrine (which is not preached in this story) that is unrealistic and possibly dangerous. (Rating: 6) "VP Miyu" by Anonymous (an121693@anon.penet.fi). This is a satire of Japanese porn flicks. As cosmopolitan as I claim to be in my tastes, I have nevertheless never seen a Japanese porn film, nor am I now motivated to head for my Ballbuster Video Store to rent one. However, as I read this story I think I was able to form an opinion of that art genre, just by making inferences from the satire. Apparently, Japanese men in porn movies (like many of their American and European counterparts) seize innocent women (let's see, perhaps a Vampire Princess named Miyu or an innocent vixen named Tracy) under incredible circumstances; and then the men pleasure themselves with these woman, who at first fight it and then realize they like it and beg for more. Even in my ignorance of the "art" form, I enjoyed this story; and I imagine a person who has watched such films would enjoy this satire even more than I did. (Rating: 7) "Entertainment" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). There's a moral to this story. Don't let the stripper handcuff you to a chair before she gives you a demo of the dance she plans to do at your fiance's bachelor party - at least not unless you want to spend the rest of your sexual life eating the cunts of her and her friend, running their errands, and being a general sex slave. But I already knew that. Heck, I thought everybody knew that! (Rating: 8) "Everything" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). Most of Deirdre's stories have a weird plot to them, but this one is a disorganized conglomeration of weird sexual activities, with an emphasis on bondage and anal sex. The story is told from the viewpoint of a woman whose friends support her through a difficult divorce; then as the title says, they do "everything" with her. (Rating: 4) "Exam" by Deirdre (an65862@anon.penet.fi). A man goes for a checkup; but he discovers that the doctor and nurses are engaging in some kind of perverse sexual activities. Being an upright and honorable man, he leaves; but he meets a neighbor on the way out of the office. Not being so upright and honorable after all, he accepts a blow job from her and accepts a ride with her to a strange house, where even stranger things go on inside. (Rating: 6) "Camping" by Theresa (theresat@cdsnet.net). This is a snippet of a story about a woman who surprises her lover while he is camping in the woods. It is the first posting by an author who shows excellent potential but who displays some serious flaws in this initial effort. Since large numbers of aspiring authors read these reviews and since the author specifically requested comments, I offer the following comments, which I hope will be accepted in the constructive spirit in which I am writing them, Here is a passage from this story: "His eyes were closed and the lightning caused his eyelids to glow. He could feel his heartbeat jump with every explosion of thunder. Calm was what he reached for and calm was what he began to feel. Until her fingers touched his neck. He nearly leapted from my skin. A shudder washed over his body as her hot breath touched his cool skin." This passage is a mixture of the poetic and the confusing. I think it would be instructive for aspiring authors to try to revise this passage in ways that retain its emotion and imagery, while eliminating the confusion. For example, as I read this passage, I thought there were three persons (expressed as "he," "her," and "my"). That's not the case; the "my" is apparently a mistake for "her." Next, what exactly is the guy doing when he "nearly leapt from her skin?" {Note: "leapted" is not a word. A spellcheck would have caught this mistake.} I assume he was moving away suddenly or in some other way showing that he was startled. My next point may sound picky; but exactly what was happening when the lightning caused the man's eyelids to glow. This sounds eerie, and probably impossible - it conflicts with the mood that the author is trying to set. By no means am I trying to make the point that this writer is a moron. I think she is to be commended for trying to put into words the emotions that would surround the scene she describes in this story. As I have said, the wording is often poetic; but it's also confusing. Other authors who have posted on a.s.s. have shown the same problem; they try to express their emotions, and these feelings make sense to them; but they fail to convey these emotions clearly to the intended audience. What the great authors (including those many excellent authors who write for a.s.s.) do is take one more important step between typing their feelings into a word processor and posting the story: they carefully proofread their work (or ask someone else to do this for them). It may sound boring to spend time doing this; but unless the reader was there and actually saw what the author is writing about, the reader needs help in getting this message. It is the author's responsibility to supply this help by making sure that the story conveys this message clearly and unambiguously. I hope this author continues to write and to develop her ideas. And I hope this advice is helpful to her and to other aspiring authors. (Rating: 4) "War Games" by Estragon (an356608@anon.penet.fi). The little boys are playing war games and the little girls are bored. They plead with the boys to be allowed to play, and eventually the boys give in and let them be nurses. The narrator convinces the most sophisticated (and initially most resistant) boy to be "wounded," and when the next two oldest boys see the "treatment" he is getting, they also develop wounds that require attention from the other two nurses. And so the little girls explore and experiment with the bodies of the little boys. I would have preferred a nice, sweet story in which the little girls affectionately jack the little boys off. Note to all you little girls and boys who are NOT reading this review and who will certainly not read this story: I am not recommending that you should actually do this when you are twelve years old. Instead, wait till you grow up and then fantasize that you did this. If little girls do this, they should be aware that (1) the little boy may be a little asshole instead of a cute little feller like those we encounter in this story, (2) people get really bad diseases and possibly become pregnant when they fool around with sex when they don't really know what they are doing, (3) having a reputation as a little slut may be detrimental to lots of opportunities that will present themselves in your life, (4) people who start having sex too young find it really hard to stop and it may be better to be more mature before you get started at something as important as this, and (5) actually doing some of the things in this story may conflict with moral values that are important to you. I would also like to say to the young people who are NOT reading this story that even though I think it's fine for you to fantasize about these things I really cannot suggest that you use a story like this for fantasy material, because it's against the law in my jurisdiction for me to give advice like that to people who are "under age." People who are my age and make laws may themselves fantasize about children doing these things; and even if they don't, they fantasize that by making laws they can keep children from even thinking about these things. They even fantasize that young children will not learn these things from the gutter or from really bad stories if we keep them away from really good stories. It's not hard to imagine which of the fantasies described in this paragraph are the silliest, is it? I don't know how that paragraph got there. Must be that Michelangelo virus acting up again. Anyhow, I would have liked the little boys and little girls to have mutually pleasured one another; but that's not quite the way Estragon works. If you've read this author's previous works, you know that a basic tenet promulgated by this author is that men are here as servants and playthings of women. And so, instead of fondling the wounded soldier's penis until he comes, the nurse instructs him to lie still while she tries to lift him up by one of his pubic hairs. Etc. War may be hell, but war games can be Learning Experiences. As I have said in a previous review of Estragon's stories, I myself don't wholeheartedly accept Estragon's notions of the Sisterhood (my word, not hers), but there certainly is a kernel of truth in them; and in this story she repeats them through the Learning Experiences of the narrator: "Boys are like nothing. They're like optical illusions, you know? They might look big, but they're actually only a few inches long, if you get what I mean. WE scare THEM." To learn more, you'll have to read the story yourself. The only problem I had with this story was that it was totally devoid of quotation marks. I guess that's because it is written from the perspective a twelve-year-old girl who had things other than punctuation on her mind. I adjusted to their absence, and I'm sure you will too. This is another excellent, fascinating story. (Rating: 10) TIP OF THE WEEK: In each issue of Celestial Reviews I present one of the guidelines from Celestial Grammar, which I have posted on alt sex.stories.d. and which I'll continue to develop and revise from time to time. My theory is that if all of these tips were followed, about 95% of the really distracting errors in a.s.s. stories would be eliminated. (The other 5% will eventually be covered in Advanced Celestial Grammar.) I was going to name this part of the column TIP OF THE {something sexual}, but I thought the innuendo might detract from the sober serious business at hand. This week I did not have time to write a Tip, because reposting the old reviews took too much of my time. I'll resume the Tips in the next issue. NOTE: I HAVE REPOSTED ALL THE PAST ISSUES OF CELESTIAL REVIEWS ON ALT.SEX.STORIES.D. (NOT ON ORDINARY ALT.SEX.STORIES). IF YOU WANT THESE BACK COPIES OF THE REVIEWS, PLEASE LOOK FOR THEM THERE. I HAVE PHYSICALLY POSTED THESE BACK ISSUES, AND I HAVE NOT RECEIVED ANY MESSAGE FROM MY AOL SERVICE TELLING ME THAT THERE WAS A PROBLEM. HOWEVER, I HAVE NOT YET SEEN THEM POSTED THERE. IF A PROBLEM OCCURS, I'LL TRY AGAIN.