Clestial Reviews 2 - July 12, 1995 - by Celeste

Note: I guess I should have anticipated this, but I've started getting 
requests from readers, asking me to send them copies of the stories I 
review.  While I appreciate the interest, I cannot do this.  The main 
reason is one of conscience and prudence: I'm not sure who the person 
is who is requesting the story.  While I don't have problems with my 
own older daughter reading any of the stories I reviewed in the first 
set, I would object to someone sending these stories to my younger 
daughter.  In addition, one of the stories I just read for my next 
review is really a bit degrading toward women, and I don't want to be 
the person who puts that one in front of innocent readers.  (On the 
other hand, I do NOT think my review will be a problem for these same 
readers.)  Another reason for declining to send the stories is because 
I'm pretty busy teaching, writing reviews, caring for my children, and 
fucking the brains out of my husband.  (Note: As I said in my FAQ, I 
try to review stories that can still be found in the newsgroup 
postings.  This should help solve the problem.)

"Pillow Fight" by Dulcinea.  This is the kind of romantic story I'd 
like to write myself.  I guess that's because this is the kind of life 
I'd like to live myself.  Dulcinea does a good job making a woman wish 
this were happening to her.  This is a playful story with nothing kinky 
- just good, hot passion.  Way to go, Dulcinea!  (Rating 9.0)

"eXstacy" by Wiley03.  This is the kind of story Beevis and Butthead 
used to enjoy before they learned to pick their noses and masturbate.  
What we have here is a quasi-literate description of a guy and his 
faithful sidekick who kidnap a girl and juice her up with electrical 
current before they rape her.  Then they relax for a while by hanging 
her from a hook from the ceiling of the warehouse, while they beat her 
with a whip and a cane before they rape her again.  The sex is oral, 
anal, and vaginal; and, like most women, she realizes that she likes it 
and yearns for more.

I guess this is the sort of crap Senator Exon is upset about.  It makes 
me feel kinda foolish about advocating free speech.  Here's one of the 
greatest quotes, lifted directly with my cut-and-paste tool, so that I 
could avoid the risk of altering even a single sibilant syllable:  "Her 
eyes slits, her mouth pouting and mewling, she slinked her way across 
the floor until she was between his legs, her prick jutting obscenely 
before her."  It really said that.  Earlier in the story, the hero (or 
villain - I'm kinda confused here)  "...arranged himself in a beanbag 
while he slowly approached her."  People that can do that are 
dangerous.

On a more serious note, the heroine/victim/love-object was expecting to 
get paid with a "twenty day supply of X" but she was hoping for more 
like "a years (sic) supply of X."  Maybe I'm out of touch, but am I 
supposed to know what X is?  I don't know if the author was using X as 
a place holder and forgot to change it to cocaine or chocolate candy or 
something, whether there really is a commodity called X that she hoped 
to acquire as compensation for her services, or whether the author just 
has an extreme respect for copyright laws and doesn't want to mention 
the trade name of the beverage the players would consume to slake their 
thirst after the festivities.  (Note: After I reposted this review for 
the second time, a reader wrote to inform me that there is actually a 
drug called X.  It's an extremely dangerous drug, apparently available 
in relatively restricted markets in the U.S. Sorry about that - heck, I 
don't even inhale pot!)

In spite of these brilliancies, there were some minor flaws in the 
story.  As our damsel put it so eloquently, while her lithe body jerked 
uncontrollably on the hook: "Aaahhgg, no, arrgh, please, uh uh stop 
please." (Rating: 1)

"Crime of Love" by Boswell.  This story gives us a dramatic contrast 
with the previous story.  It's actually literate.  I suppose some 
people read this and find it sexually enticing; but my own main 
reaction was fear and repulsion.  I felt the hatred for women that the 
rapist felt in this story, and I felt the fear that his victim felt.  I 
guess it should worry me that there are people who will think this guy 
is really cool; but I really doubt that many men are going to develop a 
new lifestyle as rapist simply because they read this story.  Its a bit 
like some of Poe's tales.  I doubt that many people ripped the heart 
out of old men after reading the Telltale Heart, but that sure was a 
great story about a bizarre person.

"College" by deirdre.  What strange things can happen to young girls at 
a private college?  Why do memories of sexual events that never 
happened creep back into memory at odd times?  This is a very short 
story, and it gets a short review.  I like much of deirdre's writing, 
but this one didn't strike me as good as some of the others.  It nicely 
sets a mood of mystery, but I'm still have no idea what happened.  But 
that's the point!  (Rating: 5.5)

"First Time" by The Lady.  Aside from the moral problems posed by 
incest, the most noticeable problem with this story is that the little 
girl who gives head to her father while her mother offers advice and 
plays with her pussy talks more like an eight-year-old than the twelve-
year-old she's supposed to be.  The moral and developmental objections 
aside, it's actually a pretty clearly written story, for people who 
like that sort of thing.  

I guess the major problem with the story is that it's incomplete.  It's 
sort of like reminiscing about the great time we had roasting 
marshmallows on the living room carpet, while we ignore the fact that 
we destroyed the carpet and practically burned down the house.  I think 
most psychologists and sensible people would see problems in parents 
boinking their daughter for the fun of it.  The rationale in the story 
is that the parents are sexually active and love each other, are not 
ashamed to be naked in front of their daughter, and want her to have a 
healthy respect for her own body and sexuality.  Ditto at our house; 
but the time our daughter came upon me and my husband making love, we 
stopped, continued to cuddle while he covered his cock, and then had a 
nice talk with her later.  Asking her to join in might have made for an 
interesting story - but maybe our way would too.  Somebody out there 
oughta give it a try!  (Rating 5.0)

"Slippery When Wet" by Sue.  I was going to read this story late at 
night and write the review right away, but after a story like that I 
have to take a break and visit my husband.  He's going to wake up with 
one hot mouth around his cock!  This was a truly erotic story.  I can't 
do it justice by trying to summarize it - It's about a girl and a guy 
who get into the fitness center jacuzzi after closing time.  Read the 
story for the rest.

The only part that I didn't like at first was when they let the three 
college kids join them in the jacuzzi.  Actually, I liked that part 
too; but except for that part, I'd be ecstatic for a chance to do 
exactly what the two of them did.  Sue has one of the best disclaimer's 
of all the a.s.s. writers: "Reading and writing these stories should be 
acts of fantasy, and I hope that you can keep your notions of real and 
fantasy life separate in your mind. I know I can."  And so can I! 
(Rating 10.0)