Celestial Reviews 18 - Sept 9, 1995

Note:  I have only three stories to review this week, but one of the 
stories was long - and so is the review of it.  I try to raise some 
important points in this review, and I would be interested in knowing 
your reactions.

      "The Amazing and Ponderous Adventures of Me and 
            Martha Jane" by Santo J. Romeo  (emerging childhood
            sexuality and romance) 5
      "Home Improvement: Jill's Story" by Ann Douglas.  (f/f
            celebrity sex) 10
      "Getting It Right" by Michael K. Smith (romance) 10
      "The Final Mission" by Spook (Action Adventure) 10

"The Amazing and Ponderous Adventures of Me and Martha Jane" by Santo J. Romeo 
(73233.1411@compuserve.com).  This is a difficult story for me to review.  
What's there is excellent, but it's simply not all there.  The story "ends" 
with these lines: "By that afternoon, when we started straightening up for the 
return of my parents and her mother, both of us were saying we probably 
wouldn't want to have another orgasm for months.    Of course, we were both 
wrong about that."  This is simply not an ending.  

The story is written from the perspective of the child narrator, who is 
presumed to be a little over fifty years old and is telling a story about his 
younger days.  A person writing from that perspective would know the details 
of what came next and would be inclined to relate those details.  If you enjoy 
going to movies that give you an excellent buildup to a good ending even if 
you know that the last reel of the movie is missing, then you'll possibly 
enjoy this story.  Likewise, if you enjoy leaving a good World Series baseball 
game at the beginning of the ninth inning with the score tied, you'll probably 
like this story.  However, my feeling is that the author has completely ruined 
a good story by choosing not to supply the ending.

There are other circumstances under which open-endedness is valid and 
even desirable.  For example, if this story would have been presented 
from the perspective of a current 12-year-old whose future was as yet 
unknown, a modified version of this ambiguous ending would make sense.  

Note that I am not demanding a *happy* ending.  I just want an ending.  
The author made me buy into the idea that he was telling a story "as 
best as he could remember it," and I think reasonable readers would 
want to hear the end of that story.

If I were willing to read this as part of a "neverending serial," would 
give this a rating of 10.  However, I don't see the point in posting or 
reading such stories. I personally refrain from reading most stories 
that are labeled 1/?.  To me these suggest that the author doesn't know 
where the story is going.  The author of seuch entries seems to saying, 
"I'm going to write about sex until I can't think of anything else I 
want to say."  I may get interested in the story and discover that the 
author has lost interest.  Good authors of long stories know where 
their story is going before they start posting it - even though they 
may fill in numerous details and even make serious changes in the plot 
as it develops.  I felt betrayed when I thought I was reading a 
complete story in this case, only to find that it wasn't all there.

Having said that, I want to point out that what does exist of the story 
is excellent.  My frustration arises completely out of having been set 
up to expect a full story, and then to find out it wasn't there.  The 
following is a review of what does exist.  In this review, I am going 
to act as if I am reviewing a whole, non-truncated story - what I was 
expecting until I encountered the utterly silly ending.

Martha Jane was a young woman who was nine years older than the child 
narrator.  They lived next door to each other in a federal housing 
project around 1950 and shared a common front porch.  At the beginning 
of their relationship, the 6-year-old hero harbored a wonderful, non-
sexual admiration for the older girl; and she showed a reciprocal 
respect for him.  The focus of the story is the maturation and 
fulfillment of this relationship.

Although the early lines of this story hint of sexual activity, the 
first several paragraphs are devoted to demonstrating that the 
protagonist of the story was a precocious child - not a sexually 
precocious child, but a run-of-the-mill precocious child.  This bit of 
trivia is important, because it emphasizes that the hero of this story 
should be considered as a whole person, not as a simple sex object.  In 
addition, the early development of non-sexual aspects helps set this 
story in a truly rich and interesting psychological and emotional 
environment.

Certainly there is moral ambiguity in the story.  For example, near the 
beginning the mother tells the young boy that pregnant women get that 
way by eating too many popsicles and that babies come from storks.  
Shortly thereafter, Martha Jane plays with his penis to give him a 
hard-on, while giving him a biological explanation of the facts of 
life.  If I had a son, I wouldn't try either of these approaches to sex 
education.  It's interesting that normal society rejects Martha Jane's 
approach - to the extent that Redbook and the Sunday supplements would 
never even consider publishing an account like this without labeling 
Martha Jane a pervert; but sitcoms routinely laugh about the mother's 
explanation.

I'm running the risk of preaching to the choir here: most readers of 
this review are likely to be predisposed to want to like a story like 
this.  On the other hand, large numbers of civilized readers outside 
a.s.s. would react to this story as an example of perversion.  Most of 
us will counter by describing these people as sexually repressed 
puritans.  And so forth.  I think we should be willing to simply admit 
but tolerate the moral ambiguity of the story.  It's fiction and it's 
interesting.  There's nothing perverse in setting aside our moral 
scruples and enjoying a good story.  Millions of American high 
schoolers are required every year to read Edgar Alan Poe's tale about a 
pervert who tears the heart out of an old man and buries it under the 
floorboards in his house.  We practically require these students to set 
aside moral scruples and to enjoy the beauty of this atrocity.  I'm not 
recommending that we make "Martha Jane" part of the sophomore 
curriculum; I simply think adult readers can set aside moral reactions 
long enough to enjoy this story without taking a position that it would 
be "better" if all children grew up this way.  

When I myself was a young babysitter, I did not give head to any of the 
children I cared for; and I would hope that my own daughters likewise 
refrain from this practice.  The psychologists and counselors who 
suggested to the narrator later in his life that this activity was 
abnormal are quite likely right (although, again, these sages would 
simply laugh about the goofy explanations of sexuality given by the 
mother and other adults.).  It would be much better for little boys to 
receive accurate answers from their own parents and for young 
babysitters to have internalized a code of ethical conduct that enables 
them to understand their own and their clients' emerging sexuality and 
to rule out genital contact without resorting to primitive mythologies.  
But that still doesn't make this a bad story.  One of my own favorite 
novels is Betty Smith's "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn."  I would never 
raise my own children the way those children grew up in that story, but 
it's still a good novel (and an excellent movie).  

Again, I'm probably preaching to the choir.  But someone is surely 
going to label this story pedophilia.  There are legitimate gripes 
against some pedophile stories; they essentially recommend the adoption 
of lifestyles that would be destructive to children.  What we need to 
do is acknowledge that some stories that describe genital activities 
with children have the potential to be destructive - especially those 
that are simply unrealistic or that promote the exploitation of 
children.  On the other hand, other stories that describe genital 
activity with or among children are either harmless or actually have 
the potential to lead to moral or emotional growth among readers.  To 
take a sexually-related analogy, there are numerous examples of books 
and movies about adults having affairs.  Some of these are badly 
written or stupidly conceived and seem to have as their only goal to 
degrade the value of marriage and other permanent relationships.  On 
the other hand, many of these books and movies are well conceived and 
have the overall effect of enabling us to understand human emotions - 
and, indeed, marriage and other permanent relationships - more 
perfectly.

Although the most important aspect of this story is the sexual 
relationship between the narrator and Martha Jane, it's not really a 
sex story.  Rather, it's a story about the emotional development of two 
young people.  Only about a third of the lines in the story are devoted 
to their sex lives.  The non-sex scenes are extremely realistic and 
vivid, giving us information needed to understand the background and 
personalities of the two main characters - at least this would be the 
case if the story didn't lose its focus because of the absence of an 
ending.

Finally, there's a problem with the story's title.  Most readers will refer to 
this story simply as "Martha Jane," but the complete title is "The Amazing and 
Ponderous Adventures of Me and Martha Jane."  The author seems to think that 
the word "ponderous" means "making one ponder"; but this is not what the word 
means.  A ponderous story is one that is "heavy, plodding, boring, or 
tedious."  Perhaps the author meant "ponderable."  I would recommend a 
different title, because I don't think these adventures are boring or tedious; 
and I don't think the author yet has the prestige to redefine "ponderous."  

I also recommend finishing this potentially excellent story.  I was so 
befuddled by the lack of an ending that I e-mailed the author the night before 
I posted this review, asking whether I was missing something.  He replied that 
the story was complete as I had it, but that the story was part of a larger 
work, and that an additional portion of that larger work would be published as 
a sequel.  I believe that this author is a serious writer who has a sensitive 
story to tell; but I don't see the point in releasing the "story" in this way.  
A story needs a focus.  This one has lots of interesting details, but no 
focus.  

If a reader wants a source of information about how much fun it would be to 
have sex with a precocious little kid, this would be a good story for that 
purpose - although all the details about the child's emotions would probably 
be viewed as distracting.  I really don't think this was the author's purpose.  
On the other hand, if a person (like myself) is reading this to obtain 
sensitive insights into the personalities of two young people as they mature 
sexually and emotionally, I think a legitimate reaction is to feel cheated.  I 
spent several hours reading this story with the understanding that the 
narrator was going to tell me the story of his relationship with Martha Jane.  
I entered into a relationship of trust with the author and learned to love 
Martha Jane and Speedy, and I became really interested in what was happening 
to them.  At the end of Chapter 6 I learned that after a lengthy separation, 
they got together again when he was 12 years old and had wonderful sex 
together.  Right before they did so, Martha Jane bemoaned the fact that both 
of them "were going straight to hell."  This sounds like a significant 
statement - it's a realistic statement that she perceived the moral ambiguity 
of the situation.  (How could something this wonderful be bad?  Well, one 
answer would be that both of them would be incapable of dealing with other 
sexual partners.  The apparent beauty could lead realistically to a living 
hell.  I'm not saying that's the ending - but the author presents this idea 
through the heroine's own mouth.)  So then the story ends with a suggestion 
that they're going to have a lot more orgasms together!?!?  Why is the author 
doing this?  It comes across to me as the same sort of thing that authors do 
when they can't figure out what to do and just have a truck run over 
everybody, so that they don't have to bother finishing the story.

This story does not need a sequel; it needs one more focused chapter.  "Star 
Wars" had a sequel.  That means there was a story that ended and then another 
story.  "Roots" had a sequel.  That original television series had a focus and 
came to a conclusion; and since viewers wanted to know more, the author and 
producers generated a sequel.  "Gone with the Wind" even has a sequel.  But 
all those stories were stories in themselves before they had sequels.  Authors 
and producers in the normal literary and film worlds cannot get away with 
dumping a story in front of people and saying, "Here. Look at this.  We may 
give you more if you beg for it fervently enough."

I can only speculate about *why* this story doesn't have an ending.  Perhaps 
the story is solidly based in truth, and the whole truth would be sad and make 
the beautiful sex that we see in this story appear to be eventually 
destructive.  Perhaps the story got too complex and the author couldn't handle 
it.  If this were a *bad* story with no ending, I would not be upset.  
However, this is an excellent story that becomes completely destroyed by the 
absence of an ending.  (Rating: 5)

*"Home Improvement : Jill's Story" by Ann Douglas 
(an309642@anon.penet.fi). Have you ever noticed that winsome lass named 
Heidi who appears as the assistant on the the Tool Time shows on Home 
Improvement?  I'll bet you thought she was longing to get it on with 
Tim or Al or Wilson or maybe one of the kids.  Wrong!!  In this story, 
she has passionate sex with Jill.  As I've said before, I enjoy good 
celebrity sex stories, because they permit me to imagine real people 
behind the activities - even though those real people are fictional 
people.  This story doesn't need a lengthy review.  If you'd like to 
read about Heidi and Jill making tender love to one another, take a 
look at this story.  

After I first posted this review, I received a letter of reprimand from 
a person who was a much more avid fan of the show than I am.  While 
admitting that the sex was good in this story, he vehemently argued 
that Jill did not correspond at all to the television character.  Read 
it, and you be the judge.  (Rating: 10)

"Getting It Right (A Beginning)" by Michael K. Smith 
(mksmith@taproot.win.net).  This story may be hard to find.  I got it 
through the "From the Vault" series, where it was listed as 
virginit.sty.  (I guess that makes sense.)  Without ruining the plot 
for you, I can't really tell you much about this story, except that 
it's a well-written, realistic portrayal of adolescent romance.  If 
you're looking for something to turn you on real fast, this would be a 
bad choice; but if you want a story that's likely to remind you of 
something from your own adolescence, this may be a good one.  (Rating: 
10)

"The Final Mission" by Spook (Spook95613).  Movies get rated "not for 
children" if they contain too much sex and violence.  This story would 
probably qualify for censorship on the basis of its sex alone, but 
violence is its main credential.  However, it's not stupidly gratuitous 
sex and violence; there's also a meaningful plot to which the sex and 
violence make legitimate contributions.  What embarrasses me is that 
some Neanderthal is going to read this story and say, "Hanging the girl 
on a meat hook and taking her picture after killing her with agonizing 
slowness!  That's really a neat idea!  Why didn't I think of that?"  As 
I read this story, I saw a good combination of sexiness, dedication, 
courage, intelligence, and violence that kept me constantly interested 
in the plot.  

Let me warn you that this is a long story; and if you're looking for 
hot sex for a quick turn-on, you might want to look elsewhere.  My 
husband is a Rambo fan, and I've learned to tolerate that genre 
(largely through classical conditioning - pleasant sensations have 
tended to develop during commercials and lulls in the action).  He 
liked this story, and so did I.

There are a few minor problems.  For example, the heroine would have 
been caught and killed long before she could have accomplished 
anything, except that she stumbled across a duffel or gym bag that the 
fiendish enemy had carelessly left where she could find it.  Just 
another coincidence to keep the story going!  Both Thomas Hardy and 
Mark Twain were notorious for such coincidences; but I like it better 
when there's a little less reliance on such events.  In addition, I 
simply assumed that the military technology and planning made sense; it 
sounded good, but I don't know much about those topics.  I'm not a 
Sweet SOU or anything - although I hear that's going to be a 
requirement for the next generation of English teachers.  (Rating: 10)