Celestial Reviews 11 - August 12, 1995 - by Celeste
Note: There's a wide range of diversity in this bunch of stories. Some
include sex that is purely mechanical and impersonal; and others offer
examples of both great character development and hot sex.
"The Afterglow" by Finehands3 (romance) 7
"Mating Season" by James Medley (bb adolescents) 8
"Batman Forever" by Roger P Tipe (celebrity sex) 3
"Jewel" by Erica (nymphomaniac endurance) 5
"Taxi, Sofa, Bedroom" by Deidre Ng (fantasy & romance) 10
"Tugboat" by Jennifer S. Jackson (casual sex at sea) 6
"At the Movies" by Gina Marie (teen girl/girl romance) 10
"Finals" by Speedy (passion during exam week) 8
"Kate and Me: Friendship Spilled Over" by The Bear
(teen/adult romance) 10
"Night Flight to Bonner's Ferry" by Erostos (m/m sex) 9
"Amanda's Piece of the Night" by Tammy Ng. (vampire) 4
"A New Beginning" by Julie Stevens (sex at college) 7.5
"My Sister Jean I" by William G. Hayden (growing up) 10
"The Afterglow" by Finehands3. This story expresses the thoughts of a
man who has just finished making love, as he lies next to her and they
begin to drift off to sleep. Very short, but very nice. (Rating: 7)
"Mating Season" by James Medley. “Cum, you dumb fucker! Cum!” That's
the first sentence of the story. Now what's the story about? Wrong!
These words are shouted by a man to a stud horse he has rented to
impregnate his mare. The man and his son have just moved from Cajun
country in Louisiana to the hill country of Kentucky. Shortly after
the horses mate, his son also mates with one of the younger local boys.
It's mating season all over. It's a pretty good story. (Rating: 8)
"Batman Forever" by Roger P Tipe My relatively low rating of this
story is influenced (perhaps unfairly) by two factors: (1) I have read
other stories by this author, and I know he can write better than this;
and (2) I have recently read several other sex stories based on famous
fictional characters, and nearly all of them were better parodies than
this. This story takes a long time to get started. It's hard to
figure out what the point is. (Why do we care that Dick has gone for a
joyride in the batmobile?) And somehow the author misses the spirit of
the Caped Crusader. He gives lip service to Bat Theory, but the guy
screwing Dr. Chase Meridian could be anybody. Compare this to the
Porno TV version of Gilligan's Island, where our Little Buddy and his
friends act just the way we would expect them to if anyone on the
Island had hormones, or to the parody of the Dick Van Dyke Show (Oh,
Rob!). Andy and Barney in the Mayberry stories that I reviewed last
week acted like the characters in the series - if sex would have been
permitted in Mayberry RFD and if Helen ever really humped anybody in a
police car.
I feel like I'm dealing here with one of my better high school
students. If this author really wants to write a Batman story, he
should throw this one away and start over. He should focus on what is
unique about Batman and what this has in common with sexual activity,
and then build a story around this. From the very beginning we should
be anticipating interesting and hot things that might happen down the
line. (Rating: 3).
"Jewel" by Erica. I guess technically this lady is not a nymphomaniac,
but that's purely a technicality. In the context of making an
underground porn flick, she has intercourse 150 times with 60 different
people in 48 hours. She probably has about 3000 orgasms during this
time, since eventually simple things like fireplugs send her over the
edge. The narrative is rushed and confused - but it does this
deliberately to convey the impression that we are listening to a really
horny woman, who is describing these incredible experiences as if they
were the most natural thing in the world.
A lot of writers do this deliberate illiteracy bit. It can be
extremely effective; some of the greatest writers in history have done
it - for example, Mark Twain in Huckleberry Finn. But this story
contained a blend of a deliberately confusing presentation and large
numbers of obviously careless errors. The author didn't even use her
spellcheck on this story. This was often distracting. I think if
Erica would have simply read the story one more time and corrected some
of these unintentional errors before posting it, the story would have
been a lot better. I think it's just polite to do this for one's
readers. My reaction was, if she can't stand reading it one more time
to get it right, why should I bother straining to understand it?
As I read the story, I couldn't figure out whether I was utterly bored
or completely fascinated. As the author says in her disclaimer, a lot
of this stuff isn't humanly possible; but it is interesting to imagine.
(Rating: 5)
"Taxi, Sofa, Bedroom" by Deidre Ng. The title of this story is
actually the answer to a question. If you scan any of the sex or humor
newsgroups, you'll always find listings that are labeled "Strangest
Place You've Had Sex?" Apparently a game show host (maybe on Love
Connection) or a talk show host (maybe Jay Leno) - the legends vary -
once asked a sweet young thing, "Where's the strangest place you've
ever had sex?" - expecting an answer like in the girls' locker room or
on top of a flag pole. The unabashed answer was, "I guess that would
be in the ass." On one of the newsgroups there has been a furious
debate over whether the answer was "in the ass" or "up the ass." So
that's the history behind this title - only in this case the question
was "Where do you like to get kissed?" and her answer was "On the
inside of the thigh," while his was "Taxicabs, sofas, bedrooms, most
anywhere, really." Oh - and that's also the order of places in which
the couple in the story make love - taxicab, sofa, bedroom.
The most erotic aspect of this story, I think, is the way in which the
female protagonist fantasizes to her date about what she imagines he
will do to her. It's really hot stuff. I'm writing this part of the
review while they're on their way from the sofa to the bedroom. So
far, my panties aren't wet; but that's because in the spirit of the
story I took them off in the restaurant - which was even before the
taxi. Well, I've finished the story, and her fantasies where
fulfilled. Another excellent story. (Rating: 10)
"Tugboat" by Jennifer S. Jackson. The difference between this and the
previous story is that the people making love in the taxi, on the sofa,
and in the bedroom seemed to have a reason for this activity. Why did
this lady on the tugboat play hide the salami with everyone who came
near her? Because they were there. When she says in her introduction
that this story is incomplete, I have a feeling that this means that
the heroine is still going to make it with her girlfriend and her
husband, as well as with a dozen or so oil workers who happen to be
hanging around the platform.
On the plus side, the story has a lot of creative ideas - they just
don't get developed. I think it would be sexy as hell to look up from
the deck of a boat at sea, past the balls of the man fucking me, and to
see a full moon. I can also see potential in watching a stranger jack
off while he's looking at me and masturbating with him. There are a
lot of good ideas in this story. There just has to be some rationale
or anticipation or personality development or something to make them
interesting.
Here's my advice - and this applies to a lot of beginning writers.
When this writer "finishes" this story, she should do so with a heavy
emphasis on *improving what's already here*. In other words, instead
of adding Part 3 with another dozen orgasms, she should spend some
effort making the present activity more complete and interesting. She
should add atmosphere and anticipation to what's already here. Neither
the author nor I believe that it's actually a bright idea to have
unprotected sex with complete strangers. This is a fantasy; and in my
fantasies I want quality, not quantity.
A good idea would be to read and imitate a story like Sue's
"Craftsmanship," in which a woman has wild sex with a glass blower whom
she hardly knows. In real life that would be just about as superficial
as fucking the tugboat crew - the difference lies in numbers and in the
unions they belong to. But Sue develops her story in such a way that
both the glass blower and the woman have personalities. She draws on
imagery from the surroundings and brings these into really hot sex
scenes. I think the present author has the potential to write similar
stories. Ann Douglas once told me that the sex scenes are the easy
part to write; the hard part is building a context that will make these
scenes realistic and interesting to the readers. I hope when "The
Tugboat" sails again in future revisions we have more than a story
about a women with a really insipid personality having sex for no
apparent reason with whomever she happens to meet. (Rating: 6)
"At the Movies" by Gina Marie. There are six of these stories about
Katie and Lyn. For some reason, I can find only five of them. If
anyone has Number 2, I'd appreciate receiving a copy. Since it makes
sense to read the stories in order, I'm hesitant to skip forward to
Number 3. This first chapter was extremely well written. The
characters of the two girls are beginning to develop, and there's real
chemistry and passion between them. I can understand why there are so
many requests for reposts. (Rating: 10)
"Finals" by Speedy. The author claims this is a true story, and he
makes it sound believable. I myself have actually gone this far in the
elevator - and it was highly erotic; but I would never try to go all
the way on the sink in the men's restroom. I could have gotten thrown
out of school or arrested! Or at least taken off the dean's list. But
it sure sounds like fun. The author does a good job of telling a sexy
tale. (Rating: 8)
"Kate and Me: Friendship Spilled Over" by The Bear. How would I feel
if my own intelligent and sensitive daughter fell deeply in love with a
close friend of the family when she was 16 and he was 35? Would I be
upset if they began making passionate and frequent love to one another?
Yes, I guess I would be upset. But this is a story about exactly that,
and it's a beautiful story. The author focuses on romance; he doesn't
fool around with the formulas and rituals that so often appear in the
hot sex stories. I love sexy stories that are based on something other
than the cuteness of a person's ass or the size of his sex organ.
Nevertheless, the sex is really hot - because it is so passionate and
because we understand the reasons behind what the lovers are doing.
Anyone who has been deeply in love and has wanted to do something that
was obviously right but was also obviously wrong will understand the
emotions expressed in this story. The author develops an atmosphere in
which he mixes the moral ambiguity with the passion the two lovers feel
for each other. This is a really well written, outstanding story.
(Rating: 10)
"Night Flight to Bonner's Ferry" by Erostos. In order to avoid
potential bad weather, a pilot and his passenger land short of their
destination and spend the night together, sleeping in the aisle of the
plane. They engage in pleasant, dreamy sexual activity before
continuing the next morning. The author's account is extremely clear
and lucid, with just the right amount of tension and anticipation to
make it interesting. Although there is little explicit description of
sexual activity, this is a sexy story. (Rating: 10)
"Amanda's Piece of the Night" by Tammy Ng. When I reviewed "Meeting Amanda"
by Backrub in Celestial Reviews 9, I admitted my ignorance of and lack of
interest in vampire stories. Nevertheless, I liked that story and rated it a
10. Backrub's story was sexy enough so that even if I had no knowledge of
vampire mythology I could easily enjoy what was going on. The present story
is a follow-up to the Backrub story. (Actually, it's a prequel.) It
basically describes why Amanda was in New York at the time of the hot sex in
"Meeting Amanda." (I don't think either author ever mentions that name
anywhere except in the title. For all I know, Amanda may be the patron
goddess of the vampires.) But this story is so full of fangs and feeding
permits and other ghoulish things, that I had trouble staying interested long
enough to find the sex in it. A connoisseur of vampirology might eat this
story up, but I thought it sucked. Actually, that's an overly negative
reaction - I just couldn't resist the sexual puns, which (in my delusional
mind) have something to do with vampires. I was tempted not to rate this
story at all, since I know so little about vampires. However, the same was
true of "Meeting Amanda," and that was still a very hot story. I hope I don't
get a curse for this rating - vampires do give curses or something, don't
they? (Rating: 4)
"A New Beginning" by Julie Stevens. This is a story about an Irishman
whose wife and child die in a car crash, and therefore he sets sail for
America to make a new life for himself. He becomes a teacher of
computer science at an all-girl's college, where he apparently earns a
living by teaching just one class to 25 luscious and horny young
ladies, all of them lusting for his body. He starts to get his sex
life back in order by having oral sex with a couple of the girls; but
true fulfillment comes when he starts banging one of the girls and her
equally beautiful mother. As a side pleasure, he administers sexy
spankings and has anal sex with the headmistress.
The story is full of lots of grammatical and typographical errors, some
of which are pretty funny. (For example, he had "a ragging hard-on,"
before they "drank a few bears.") However, if you're reading this
story just for the sex (and I can't think of any other reason to read
it), you can probably slide past these mistakes and the obvious flaws
in the plot without missing a stroke. From the way the story started,
I honestly expected something better - perhaps including romance and
character development. The story started out with a description of a
real tragedy in the hero's life. I had the impression that maybe the
author was going to try to deal with this in a sexy but sensitive way.
Are we to believe that it's actually likely that a sensitive guy is
going to recover from such a loss by learning the joys of getting head
from his students in his office, spanking the principal whenever she
gets horny, and marrying the sensuous mommy who does co-performances of
the horizontal lambada with her equally voluptuous daughter? I think
the author planned to write a sensitive story, got bored, and threw in
a lot of sex to end the project. I'd like to see the story she really
intended to write.
Finally, in defense of the world's second oldest profession, I want to
point out that I myself am one hot babe when I want to be; but I manage
to get through entire days without going into heat in the presence of
my students. In fact, just yesterday I managed to talk to my principal
for nearly ten minutes; and he did not develop a hard-on worth speaking
about, nor did he feel compelled to ask me about any musky scent
emanating from my honey pot. (Rating: 7.5)
"My Sister Jean I" by William G. Hayden. Because Billy and Jean are
brother and sister, some people would label this an "incest story."
That's silly. Incest involves something unnatural - the use of power
by one family member to take sexual advantage of another or sexual
intercourse that's likely to lead to inbreeding. Nothing like that
happens in this story. This narrative describes part of a young boy's
and his sister's attempt to come to an understanding of their own
sexuality. Billy has a sister, and he's aware that she has something
to do with sex. Sex is powerful and mysterious, and his parents have
apparently tried to keep it secret from him. He enjoys trying to touch
his sister when he wrestles with her; he sneaks up to the bathroom door
to listen to her pee; and he plays with her underwear. Some of this is
misguided and perhaps strange to readers who have acquired accurate
sexual information from inspired parents, divine infusion, or gutter
conversations. But what is described in this story is a reasonable,
sensitive description of how a young boy and his sister might begin to
understand their sexuality. It's not hot sex; it's nostalgia - even
for readers who haven't experienced exactly the same feelings.
(Rating: 10)