Judy Paley, young and lovely, modest in her appearance, charming in her personality.
Her family was unexceptional �_" a mother and father who cared about their children in much the way that other parents do, who brought them up as they saw fit, and watched them turn into normal, happy adults. They took great pride in them, too: Judy, the teacher; their son Doug, a strapping young Marine.
But beneath the calm surface of this family life there was horror and lurking tragedy. The young daughter Judy, as if beset by devils, found herself gripped by the most perverted of all emotions, an overwhelming desire for her brother. The incestuous love is returned, if not actually instigated, by the teen-aged Doug, and the result ultimately is disaster.
But before disaster strikes, others are drawn into the net which Judy is impelled to weave in order to satisfy her depraved desires. Her fine and upstanding husband, Tom Spence, is the most pathetic of the victims, suffering the worst and most frightening fate. Along with him, but to a lesser degree, the lives of his students in the expensive private school in which he and his wife both teach, are touched and tainted forever. As she goes down herself, Judy drags all around her with her.
My Brother Ruined My Life has all the aspects of sensationalism, of an appeal to the baser instincts. Yet the story is a true one and is told as it happened, against the middle-class background of the small American towns where it took place. It is told with skill and feeling and above all with restraint, so that the lurid aspects �_" which might have turned the book into a mere thriller, a superficial novel meant merely to excite and titillate �_" are subordinated to the psychological factors which give it its true meaning. We see Judy in all her anguish and guilt, incapable of resisting the evil which holds her in its grip; we see her callous brother, willing to take advantage of his sister. And we see, in all his weakness and pathos, the young husband, naive and helpless.
My Brother Ruined My Life is a true story, one that cannot fail to move each and every reader. It is a story of human beings in an all too human predicament, and their struggles against the final submission to the forces of evil. It is one of the oldest stories in the world, that of sin and retribution. Yet it is as up-to-date as tomorrow. We believe that no reader can fail to be moved by its eternal verity.
-The Publishers Sausalito, California July, 1972
CHAPTER ONE
As she had so often recently, Judy Paley woke from a troubled sleep with a gasp and a cry of panic. It took her a few seconds before she realized where she was. And then, with a sigh of relief, she sank back in bed and stared at the early morning light dancing across the ceiling.
She was alone in her apartment, lying naked under a cool cotton sheet, while the warm air of a Southern California summer drifted through the room. The thin white sheet that covered her voluptuous body hardly concealed it; instead it showed off to advantage her lovely breasts that formed rounded peaks beneath it, the equally lovely curves of her smooth stomach, her soft loins. Even her long full thighs, tapering down to her slim legs were accentuated by the sheet.
Restlessly she pulled it to one side, running her hand through her blonde hair, ruffling it as she wondered how she would get through the day. Although the weather was not yet hot, there were unmistakable signs of heat; the day would be a scorcher. She turned, sliding half-way out from under the sheet, exposing her curvaceous hip with the skin, where it was protected by the bikini she wore to sunbathe, clearly marked in white against the golden flesh of her sun-tanned thighs.
Still half asleep, she let her hand drift slowly to her stomach, and then, only half-conscious of what she was doing, let it glide further down until the sudden electric contact of her fingers with the sensitive flesh below sent a tiny shiver of pleasure coursing through her body. And then she stiffened, and let out a little cry.
The dream came back to her then, the dream which had forced her awake. She covered her face with her hands, biting her lip, fighting back the tears.
That was all over, she told herself. All over and done with. It would never happen again.
And now she must get up and do things, keep busy, not let her mind dwell on the past.
But she remained motionless, almost unable to move. She had to lie there, remembering, re-living that whole terrible night.
It had happened the summer before, when Judy Paley had flown to Wisconsin to visit her family, her first vacation since she had left for a winter of teaching in California. All had been carefully worked out. Her mother and father, as well as her brother, Doug, would be there. And her young cousin, Tony, would be there too, of course. He had been considered part of the family ever since the Paleys welcomed him into their, household after the tragic automobile accident in which his parents were killed. All would spend two weeks at the family summer home at one of the cool, tree-shaded lakes near Madison.
The reunion had been a happy, tearful one. Doug, who had seemed a carefree high school kid before, now seemed grown up, a man, about to enlist in the Marines. And Tony, who had been a gawky adolescent of fourteen, seemed well on his way to manhood, too.
Even her mother and father seemed to have changed. They were older now, and quieter, Judy thought.
Her own experience since she had left to teach in a private boys' school near Los Angeles, had given her a new maturity, too. Doug's forthcoming departure to join the Leathernecks had added a special quality to the vacation. All of them knew it would be the last time the family would spend a vacation together for a long time.
So the fun-packed vacation was a sentimental one for all, as well. During the day they swam and sunbathed together. Nights were" fun, too, as Judy and her mother cooked the boys' favorite dishes, or as the whole family, drove off to one of the modest but pleasant restaurants for one of the fish frys which were the specialty of the area. There was no dearth of conversation, either. Everyone had news to tell, other news to catch up on. The family had always been loving, always close-knit. None had secrets from the others. All were accustomed to speak openly, frankly, about anything on their minds, and this summer was no exception.
One afternoon, when her mother had gone to her own room for a nap while her father had taken Tony out on the lake to fish, Judy, wearing a bikini, lay on her stomach on the sun porch. She looked up to see Doug, at eighteen years of age, taller and more muscled than the year before, padding out to lie down beside her. But his grin was still boyish as he asked bluntly, "Getting any, Judy?"
She wondered what he meant. "What?" she asked.
"Are you getting any, out there in California?"
"Getting any what?"
"Aw, come on, Sis," Doug said, giving her a playful poke. "Aren't you making it with anybody?"
Judy smiled, then turned to hide the faint flush of embarrassment that suffused her face as she understood his meaning. Yes, she'd been getting some, she thought. But she felt no need to tell her young brother of the brief affair she had had with another teacher at the school. It had ended with no bitter feelings, and he and Judy were still good friends, although he was going with another girl in the town now.
The only thing that disturbed Judy about the short affair was that she realized, for the first time in her life, just how sexually excited she became in such a situation. She had never before even suspected the overwhelming passion that had seemed to take control of her.
She could, and did, make love all night, to the surprise and shock of the young man, Tom, with whom she had been involved. That, indeed, had been one of the reasons she had felt it necessary to break off with him.
The thoughts and desires that ran through her mind when the two were together in those moments seemed to her to be depraved, disgusting even, and she had felt guilty and ashamed. And so she had let the affair die slowly, so that she would have time to think about her "newly discovered self."
Doug, still waiting for an answer, grinned again. "Cat got your tongue?" he teased her.
Judy turned back to him and made a face. "It's none of your business, smartie," she said.
Doug chuckled softly. "That means that you were," he said. "Congratulations. And welcome to the club."
A look of amazement flashed across Judy's face. "What?" she said. "You?" And then she laughed. "My little brother!"
"Sure," he boasted. "Last month. You know how it is, going off to war and all that stuff.
Makes you want to, doesn't it?" He wiped his hand across his forehead. "Wow!" he exclaimed. "It was something! Do you dig it, too?"
Judy sat up, shaking her head. She reached for a cigarette and struck a match. "My own little brother," she murmured. "What next?"
"More of the same, that's what. And all I can get," he said. "Man, it's great." He shrugged his broad shoulders. "When I think of all those years I wasted on kid stuff like sports and things, when I could have been making out... Boy, was I ever a clunk!"
"Doug, I don't believe it's really you, saying things like that." She looked at him sternly.
"Does Tony, does he... well... you know... does he?"
Doug grinned and nodded. "Must run in the family," he said. "Haven't you noticed how he looks at you?"
Judy ground out her cigarette and lay down on her stomach, feeling strange and troubled.
"My God, how things have changed."
"Everybody has to grow up sometime. And you are stacked, Sis." Doug sat up, taking in her figure, his eyes lingering on her full rounded buttocks under her tight bikini.
"Thanks. Shall we change the subject?"
"What for?" Doug shrugged. "We're brother and sister, and we're grown up. You're only five years older than I am." He reached out suddenly. "Here," he said, "let me undo that strap so you can get your whole back tanned."
Before Judy could move he unhooked the back of the bikini top and slid the straps off. She started to protest and sat up before she realized that her snowy white breasts were exposed to his curious gaze. She lay down again quickly, but not before Doug got a good look. "Come on," she coaxed, "put it back on." She laughed, trying to make a joke of the whole thing.
"Why?" Doug asked, his voice teasing again. "Nobody can see you and I'll put some suntan lotion on your back."
Judy closed her eyes and let Doug pour the amber liquid on her skin. It felt good, and she murmured as he gently rubbed the smooth flesh. It was perfectly all right, she told herself.
It wasn't as if she and her brother were all alone out here! Her mother, after all, was napping in the house and Tony and her father were apt to come back at any time.
Besides, weren't they both adults? With a twinge of guilt, she remembered those earlier days when she and her brother had stroked each other's slim young bodies in their darkened room at night, while their parents watched TV downstairs, and their little cousin Tony slept.
In spite of herself, though, she gradually found herself becoming aroused, her body tingling with an unwanted pleasure. "That's enough," she said with a warning, yet still teasing, tone.
Doug lay down beside her. "Turns you on, huh?" he asked, his white teeth flashing as he grinned knowingly again.
Eyes closed, she nodded. There was something sexually exciting about talking so intimately with her young brother. She wanted to ask him questions, and tell him, too, her own feelings about sex. But she decided not to. She wondered if she would succumb that night, as she had so often since the end of her love affair, to her desire to caress herself.
Her thoughts were interrupted by Doug's low, conspiratorial voice. "If that turns you on, wait until you try this other thing I have."
"What?" Judy asked, excited by his voice, and yet a little suspicious of him, too.
"You'll see. Mom and Dad are going out tonight, for dinner first, and then they plan to catch the show over at the lodge. But you'll find out," he promised. "Tonight."
Now, as Judy lay in her small bed in her own apartment in California, she groaned aloud.
If only she had used some sense that night. Plain common sense was all she had needed.
Dear God! Certainly she knew better!
She had cooked dinner for her brother and young cousin that night, a meal the two of them had wolfed down like animals. It had been a balmy summer night, and after dinner Doug had suggested a moonlight swim.
Laughing, the three had slipped into their bathing suits and dashed to the water. They had laughed and splashed and ducked one another, just as they had when younger.
But this time it was different. They were rougher, more intimate, too. Tony, swimming under water, had seized her legs and his hand had trailed along her creamy thighs until it brushed against the sensitive flesh between them. Doug had grabbed her then and as if by accident had casually stroked her breasts.
Wading ashore, the two boys had tackled her and pulled her down in the shallow water, laughing and struggling as they fell on top of her. Somehow �_" and that, too, she thought was an accident �_" her bikini top had been torn off, and when she had stood up the white mounds of her breasts had again been exposed to the curious stare of her brother, as well as of her cousin.
She had let out a little yelp and tried to cover herself. But she had only succeeded in squeezing her breasts together until her nipples, hard and taut now, showed provocatively.
They ran back to the house howling with laughter, while Doug waved the tiny scrap of her bikini top above his head. In her room Judy caught her breath and began to giggle as she patted herself dry with a fluffy towel, then slipped into her terry cloth robe. The memory of her nights with Tom, back in California the winter before, came back to her, and she felt the flames of excitement, the tingling in her belly and legs that his touch had inspired, once more.
She had pulled the robe closer around her bare body and, her face flushed, had wandered to the living room to dry her hair by the fire. This had been fun, she told herself. Still, she would have to be more careful with the two boys. They were now old enough to... she laughed, refusing to dwell on such thoughts. This had all been innocent horseplay, she told herself, nothing more.
Still, as she sat on the floor before the fire, humming to herself, her slim bare legs showing, she thought of a few off-color jokes she would tell. They weren't really dirty, she told herself. And they gave her a pleasurable excitement. What would be the harm in it?
Doug and Tony had come in then, wearing robes, too, and grinning impishly at each other, as they always had as small boys when they were up to some mischief. Tony, an inscrutable smile playing about his lips, turned down all the lights but the one in the corner, while Doug went over to the hi-fi and began piling records on it. "What on earth are you doing?" Judy asked the two of them.
"You'll find out," Doug said. He plopped another record on, then turned a switch. "Music, Maestro, please!" he called.
As the record player sent forth the mellifluous strains of some old Gershwin songs, Doug sat down beside Judy and pulled a small object from his pocket. "Ever try one of these?"
he asked casually.
She leaned over to look at the homemade cigarette, hand-rolled in brown paper, that he held. "No," she said, staring at it. Something about it �_" or about Doug �_" had made her uneasy. "What on earth is it?"
"Grass," Doug had said in an offhand way. "You know. Pot. Marijuana. Mean to tell me you've never smoked any?"
Judy had shaken her head, suddenly alarmed. "No," she had said. "No, of course not." As her alarm increased she had exclaimed, "And why are you smoking it? You know what it does to you. Throw it away, Doug."
Doug had shot a quick glance at his young cousin and the two of them had burst into hoots of derisive laughter. "Listen to her," Doug had said. He had turned back to her.
"Mean to tell me you've never tried it?"
Judy had shaken her head again. "I've never even seen any before," she said, her tone serious.
"Oh, come on! You've been teaching in a boys' school for almost a year now, and you're trying to tell me that you've never tried grass �_" never even seen it!"
"No!" she had said. "No, I haven't. Sure, some of the kids were supposed to be on it, and a couple were even arrested, but that was over in the next town. But I never saw it and I never smoked it. And I don't want to now." Her tone had changed suddenly, become pleading. "Get rid of it, Doug, will you?" she asked. "Or else I'll... I'll... " her voice trailed off.
"You'll what? Tell Mom and Dad?" he mocked. "Oh, come on, Sis. Grow up, will you?
Everybody's doing it these days."
"Well, I'm not," Judy had said. "Come on, Doug. Throw it away."
"Not on your life!"
"Please!"
"What are you? Just a square?"
"No, I'm not a square. But that stuffs dangerous. Throw it away."
"Look, Sis. Don't be such a bonehead."
"But it is dangerous," Judy had insisted.
"You haven't gone and fallen for all that propaganda, have you? You know who puts it out? The people who make cigarettes, that's who. And it's just a load of... "
"Never mind," Judy had cut in. "Look, I know what it will do to me... "
"How?" Tony had sneered. "How can you know, when you've never even tried it?"
Judy had shrugged. "I know," she had said sanctimoniously.
"Aw, come on, Sis. Try it just this once. It won't hurt you. You'll see."
Reluctantly, with the deepest misgivings, Judy had at last accepted the cigarette. "All right," she had said. "Just this once."
And now, lying in her bed in her own apartment in California, all this time later, she thought back on that night and began to sob, pressing the back of her hand against her mouth. Oh, dear God! What a fool she had been! What an incredible fool!
And fool that she was, she had gone with the two boys down to the dock built out into the lake so that no one, coming in out of the dark, should see them. She had done just what Doug told her to, inhaling, then holding her breath. The trio had stood there smoking and giggling until there was nothing but the stub of the reefer left. And then Doug had flicked it into the lake, and it had glowed as it arched out and disappeared, with a foreboding hiss, into the water.
CHAPTER TWO
Still lying on her bed, Judy breathed heavily. She had to get up, she told herself, she had to get dressed, get to work. But she couldn't move. Something kept her there, as if chained to the bedposts, staring at the ceiling, re-living that terrible night once more. She had no idea how many times she had already gone through it, nor did she care. All that mattered was that she go through it, moment by moment, detail by detail, once more.
And yet, although she did her best to remember, she had no idea of how or when the three, all clad only in their terrycloth robes, left the dock. She only remembered that later she had sat with the two youths in front of the fire again, listening to a song she had listened to all her life, but hearing new and strange and exciting things in it now.
The music had seemed sensuous, and then Doug had said something that seemed hilariously funny �_" and when Tony had tried to say something too and couldn't, why, that had seemed funny, too. Judy had let out a wild peal of laughter at the very sight of him and collapsed on the floor.
And then the terrible thing had happened that she could never, never in the whole world, never as long as she lived, forget. As she had rolled across the floor, still laughing, her robe had come open and she had sprawled on her back, totally naked, trying to catch her breath.
As she had lain there, Doug had crawled over to her side and stared down at the lovely body that was completely exposed to his sight. Tony had joined him and the laughter had suddenly died away as the two of them, now deadly serious, let their eyes rove from the snow mounds of her breasts down over her stomach to the thin little triangle of sparsely growing curls at the base of her belly, and from there the length of her slim, tapered legs.
Judy had known, somewhere at the back of her mind, how lewd it was �_" lying there, letting the two boys stare at her in this way that was almost obscene. And yet, in her marijuana euphoria she had found herself helpless to protest. She had felt as if she were another person, watching from afar, and she herself �_" the real Judy �_" just didn't care.
She �_" the real Judy �_" had seemed to be in a trance of some sort, and in that trance she saw Doug struggle out of his robe and stand before her naked, his muscular young body hard and virile. A thrill had run through her body in spite of all her efforts to suppress it, and then she trembled and in spite of herself let her thighs go slack, falling open.
Tony had glanced down at her and sucked in his breath, letting it out in a low, lewd whistle. And then Doug had begun to stroke her neck while a new excitement coursed through her throbbing veins.
Judy had watched, as if mesmerized, while Tony tore off his robe and sat down beside her, opposite his older cousin. She gasped as she saw that he, too, was hard with his youthful virility, and against her will she reached out with her fingers to tease him into greater excitement.
The two young boys began to caress her breasts, cupping them, teasing her tiny tips erect, while bolts of forbidden pleasure raced through her body. She had moaned aloud and opened her knees and rotating her hips as their two heads moved forward to her chest, their two tongues swirling around the hard little ends.
She had moaned with delight, knowing this was forbidden, yet knowing it was sweeter for just that reason. As Doug's hand had slid lower over her stomach, slid on and on to the secret forbidden place down below, she had cried out, knowing this was wicked, that it was monstrous. But it was good, too, thrillingly so; and Judy, now beyond all reason, had wanted it to go on forever. "Don't stop," she had murmured, slurring the words in her drugged state, while she rotated her hips, encouraging his skillfully probing young finger tips.
She had groaned again as she felt Tony's hand, too, slide down over her stomach, pausing briefly to tease at her navel. Tony, too! Both of them at the same time! The very thought had sent small bolts of flame crashing through her loins, seeming to set her whole being on fire. As the fingers of the older boy touched that small, most sensitive of spots, she cried out in pleasure. And then, as those of the younger boy followed close behind, as they reached the warm, wetly waiting treasure of her femininity there, she begged, "Oh, yes... yes!" in a long, low sigh.
Slowly, cautiously, Tony pressed forward and Judy pushed her feet out as wide as she could �_" and the boy poised his finger above her waiting secrecy, let it descend and linger a moment before it disappeared into the clasping warm wetness below.
The two flicked their tongues out, swirling them around the white peaks of her two excitedly quivering mounds on her chest �_" while their two fingers twisted and turned, entering, then flitting ever deeper into her. Judy, mad with passion now, had flung her head from side to side to look at them while her mouth gaped open and her eyes filmed over with lust.
She had been conscious then of nothing but the waves of pleasure that crashed through her, as she had responded ecstatically to their teasing probes which burrowed deep into her, to be withdrawn, then swept in again. She no longer had the vaguest idea, the slightest notion, of right or wrong. She had only known that this that was happening to her was what she had longed for desperately, what she had desired more than anything in the world.
She knew, somehow, that Doug had withdrawn his hand, that he had slid both of them beneath her now, cupping the two softly trembling moons beneath her. She had felt him open them salaciously wide, then draw his hand along the narrowness between them. She lay back, unresisting, as he continued to touch and fondle her secret nerve center, her excitement growing in her drug-induced euphoria.
She had reached out her own two hands, had taken the two boys masculinity in them. She wanted them, wanted their young quivering passion deep within her aching femininity, wanted to feel them growing one at a time there, burgeoning there until they exploded, flooding her whole interior with their soothing masculine warmth.
"Please," she had begged in a low voice. "Please. I want you, Doug. I want you so."
He had grinned at her, his own eyes glazed, like hers, from the marijuana they had smoked. Through them he saw Tony nodding lewd encouragement. "Not yet," he had said, with an obscene, almost frightening twitch to his lips. "Not yet, honey," he repeated to Judy. And then, to Tony, he had said, "Watch this, kid."
Doug had pulled the fifteen year-old boy away from Judy's pulsing, quivering body, then spread her ankles so wide she thought she would split in two. He had thrust his head down, then, held it for a moment over the softly quivering folds between her thighs, then flicked out his tongue to tease maddeningly at the erect little center of her womanhood.
Judy had cried out, mewling with pleasure at this new and unexpected assault upon her sensitive, trembling body. She thrashed about blindly, her eyes closed. It was only when Tony had raised his own body up higher on hers that she realized what was to happen next, something she had barely conceived of as possible, yet now seemed mysteriously desirable. She had, for some strange indescribable reason, relaxed her mouth, opening it to receive him, and felt his aroused young male excitement sweep deep between her lips.
Oh, dear God! she had thought. This was so wicked. And yet she had been powerless to resist. She had swirled her tongue around and around, in a crazed irresistible pleasure.
She had moved her tongue around him again, as Tony began to work his hips back and forth, sweeping wondrously in and out.
Judy had trembled with a passion she had never felt before, mingled with an immense fear. The reality of what she was doing burst upon her like an exploding firecracker, sending shivers of fear through her. It was wicked, it was evil, the most evil thing possible.
It had suddenly become clear to her drug-fogged mind that she was lying on the floor, completely naked, permitting her brother and her young cousin to perform the most obscene, the most forbidden, romantic acts with her. And what had been worse was the sure and certain knowledge of the undeniable pleasure it gave her. Nothing in her life had yet been so exciting, so wonderful. And though the truth sank into her consciousness, she still found herself powerless to resist. She wanted to inhabit this weird world of unnatural, depraved pleasure forever!
Her own body had been bathed in sweat, like that of the other two, and she had trembled violently. She felt her brother pull away from her, followed a moment later by her cousin.
Oh, no! she had thought. Oh, dear God, no! They couldn't leave her this way, she wanted them, she needed them back! She had to have them back with her! Absolutely had to have them!
As the two boys had rolled over, she had crawled to them, grasping them to her, teasing them with her fingers as they had teased her. Her touch seemed to set the two youths on fire once more, and Judy let out a little scream of pleasure as she felt her lips brush against Doug's relentlessly swelling excitement. As she had before, she relaxed her mouth and as her brother moved deep inside it, almost to her throat, she felt her young cousin's hips against her hips, felt her body clasped to his, and then an overwhelming joy as he took her.
She writhed and twisted back and forth, as the two moved rhythmically against her. And then she had heard the impassioned scream of the fifteen-year-old, Tony, "Oh, my God!
Ooooh! Now! Now!"
She had felt their passions gush forth, filling her to satiety, felt her own rise to meet theirs, to mingle until it was over at last, and Doug collapsed while Judy's head fell to the side.
She lay on the hard floor, wondering vaguely if her parents would be back, not caring really, wanting only more of this incredible joy she was experiencing. With her drug-sharpened senses, a terrible truth came to her. This was incest! Doug was her brother, and this was incest! At almost the same time, another insight had penetrated her mind. No one else, she had thought... no one... could ever satisfy her in this way again!
And knowing she would never want anyone else to, she had reached out once again for her brother.
CHAPTER THREE
Once again, Judy had slept badly. Ever since that terrible night the summer before, she had awakened during the night, turning and turning, unable to get the memory of what had passed out of her mind.
She knew that she was sick, that she must find a doctor somehow, and tell him of the feelings of horror that were always with her, of her fears, and above all of her shame.
That would be the worst of it, she well knew. She would have to admit to that doctor, a complete stranger, what she had done. Moreover, she would have to admit to him that she had never felt such joy, such ecstasy as at that moment. Her confession would be the only way to exorcise the devil that dwelt within her.
As she lay, still looking up at the shifting pattern of light on the ceiling of the California bedroom, she went once again through every painful detail of that night, just as if she were rehearsing what she would say to the doctor to whom she would have to go eventually.
It had gone on and on, that terrible night at the Paley's summer home. There had been fears at first that her mother and father would come in, would discover her with Doug, her own brother, and with her young cousin Tony, performing every perverted, depraved act possible. And yet her passion had been so great that she had swept aside the fears as if they were cobwebs.
It had been Tony who was the first of the boys to be aroused again, but it had been Doug who crouched over Judy, stroking her body into tingling excitement, while he urged, "go on, you two." And then he had used an obscene word that had shocked the girl, and yet had sent new thrills racing through her by its very startling sound.
It seemed to ring in her mind, and the very thought of it, and the thought of what her own brother was asking her to do with their young cousin, while he himself watched, seemed to set her on fire, making her loins ache unbearably. She rolled over onto her back, and her knees parted, while Tony, supporting his weight on his arms, slowly lowered himself over her unresisting form. She felt his joy against her loins, felt the brief moment of pain as he swept deep inside her. For a long moment they lay locked together, motionless. Then Tony arched his lean, lithe body back, and began the movement as old as time itself.
Again her head thrashed from side to side, her long golden hair flailing about her, while her breath came in short, heavy pants. She felt her own heavenly fulfillment approaching, as Tony suddenly screamed out "Christ! Oh, Jesus Christ!" and she knew that he was near his, too.
But Doug stepped forward, plucking at the younger boy's still bucking form. "No," he cried.
"Get off!"
Reluctantly Tony lifted himself away, while Judy whimpered and moved to one side. She looked up to see Doug, taller, heavier, stronger than Tony, standing now between her legs, ready to take her as their cousin had. "Tell me you want it!" he ordered cruelly.
"Oh, yes!" she whispered.
"Not like that! Say it!" He repeated the obscene word he had used earlier, and once again it made her head whirl with excitement.
"Oh, no!" she protested. And yet gladly, joyfully, she did as she was told, and the sound of the shocking four letter word she had been forced to repeat reverberated through the room.
"Okay," Doug said, getting to his knees. "Since you want it so bad, I'm going to do it to you!"
He fell on top of her with his full weight, and Judy saw tiny stars dancing in front of her eyes as the breath went out of her, while a dull, aching pain seeped through her ribs. And yet she didn't care. She met her brother's brutal passion with her own wild abandon, reveling in it.
Her arm flew around him and she mashed her open lips against his, shooting her tongue deep into his mouth. Her legs locked at the ankles behind his back as she felt him hard as steel, stretching and hurting her until she was afraid she would be split in two.
And then she felt nothing but joy and pleasure. The moist warm walls of her smooth young channel received him, clasped him, as Tony watched the tightly locked couple with open mouth. Her searing pain, the agony she had felt at the moment he possessed her was gone, and she rocked beneath him ecstatically, wishing this moment would go on forever.
But Tony was calling "Me! Me! It's my turn, now!"
Doug groaned, then pulled away as reluctantly as Tony had before. And then the girl and her cousin after a moment's struggle were locked together again as she thrashed about on the rug, which ground against the soft, resilient flesh of her backside. The deep nap seemed to caress her milky skin, to insinuate itself thrillingly into the crevice of her open legs.
Now it was Doug's turn again, then Tony's. Doug. Tony! Judy closed her eyes, as she was buffeted alternately between the two quickly changing boys. They were like animals now, wild with lust, each trying to outdo the other as they viciously ravished the young, helplessly drugged girl. None of them cared for anything but the excitement, the thrill, the ecstasy of the moment. And Judy cared least of all.
She had no desire to resist, or wish to fight them. Her body went limp, to be used at their will and to be buffeted nudely back and forth across the floor. And still she felt no pain, but only the warmth and wonder of the passion which had taken possession of her. She knew that she was wedged now between a chair and the couch, that her head was under the coffee table, and yet it meant nothing to her. She welcomed her helplessness, her pure defenselessness against their wild sexual onslaught.
And then she felt the ecstasy growing in her, swelling and burgeoning and filling her. Her body ached with longing, and her blood coursed, white hot, through her veins, setting off tiny electric sparks that crackled and popped like exploding firecrackers. She tensed herself, feeling as if she would break in two, moaning, arching her back, her weight resting altogether on her head and legs. Her body twitched convulsively, and then the wild sensuous spasms of delight began to roll through her, wave after wave of them, while she groaned out the intensity of her completion.
Her mouth fell slack, and she screamed, abandoning herself completely to the joy that swept through her. She screamed out her ecstasy again and again, as one of the two boys �_" she had no idea which �_" laboured into her, moved away, then deep once more, faded again, until she felt his joy �_" swelling, too �_" as her own warm desire pulsed forth luxuriously. At last she felt his final leave taking, and then she was roughly dragged back to the fire where she lay panting momentarily for breath.
Once more, and growling now, Doug flung himself upon her, and once again he took her, easily this time, to the depths of her ravaged and throbbing nerve center. As he worked in and out he sent bolts of pain and fatigue through her, until she felt faint with the sheer excess of feeling, of emotion. Like a violin string stretched too tight, she would snap, and she braced herself for that moment, which would bring peace and welcome relief to her.
And still the madness went on. She looked up, her eyes half closed with the utter weariness of it all, when she saw Tony above her one more time. And one more time he, too, took her. And through her weary mind passed the thought that even after what they had already taken the two boys still wanted more and more of her.
They wanted her! Still again, they wanted her! The idea aroused her as much as Doug's lewd four letter expressions, spoken so casually earlier in the evening, had. They wanted her body! The little coals of passion that had lain smouldering momentarily within her burst into sudden flame again. They wanted her and she wanted them! She threw her head back and whispered hoarsely, "Oh, God, I can never get enough of this!"
"Hear that?" Doug grunted.
"Yeah," Tony said, in an awed whisper. "She's really hot!"
And once again the lewd word that Doug had taught her to say so recently passed her lips another time. Her face was contorted by the lust that gripped her, and brought her to the fever point of passion. Yet she partially raised herself, to clasp her brother in her arms, and pull him down upon her exhausted body.
"You asked for it!" Doug roared, and then they were locked together again, their bodies thrashing and rocking in unison. Suddenly he groaned, and then, with all his young strength, rolled them both over to their sides. Taking a deep breath, his hands clawing into her flesh, he pulled her on top of him.
Tony watched, wide-eyed and mouth agape, as Judy opened herself wide, grinding down against her brother, writhing with ever increasing excitement as she moved back and forth. The young boy's mouth opened even further, and his growing excitement crawled, crab-like, up his spine, sending shudders through him. He had never seen anything so lewd, so lascivious as the sight before him. And yet it was the most inviting sight he had ever seen, too. There lay Doug, on his back, with his own sister's lovely body blanketing his own. Tony whistled softly at the sight of the voluptuous back, the lovely shoulders, the tiny waist flaring into her firm, full hips.
And as she writhed and murmured and muttered obscenities, the two boys were driven to further assaults upon her helpless body, each of which brought further joy to her. She felt Doug caressing her upper chest, taunting the hard little buds of the tips mercilessly, while Tony's hands stroked her voluptuously curving sides, turning them to fire. And then she felt them, again, one after the other, their young virile enthusiasm deep inside her and knew that they would spill forth their warm male essence, while her own unbearably excited female desire flowed abundantly.
She thrashed wildly between them until suddenly she, too, was transported to a state of rapture she had never believed possible, and then it passed and all consciousness with it.
She lay back, then, while the two boys groaned out their pleasure, and then, bodies twitching convulsively, rolled away from her to lie beside her, quiescent as she was.
CHAPTER FOUR
The morning after the wild and terrifying events, Judy Paley awoke in her own bed, there in her parents' summer cottage by the lake. She had no idea how she got there, unless Doug and Tony had carried her there. Yes, she decided, that must have been it. But there was one thing that was certain; in the few hours that had passed she had changed as completely as Dr. Jekyl had when he became Mr. Hyde. She was as different from the girl who had arrived, radiantly happy, with a calm and tranquil heart, as night was from day.
She lay, shaking, in her bed, until her mother knocked at the door. "Lazy Mary, will you get up?" she sang out, as she had so often when Judy was a child. And then she added, "You're missing one of the loveliest days we've ever had."
Judy had barely been able to answer her mother, her voice almost cracking as she called, "Go away and let me sleep." And her mother, alarmed, had come in and stared down at her quaking form beneath the covers. "Dear God! Look at you! What on earth has happened?"
Judy closed her eyes, although she longed to tell her mother the truth, and even ask her help. But she was powerless to do so. The words were on the tip of her tongue, yet she bit them back. What would her mother say if she knew what monsters she had reared in this very house? And how could she, herself, admit what she had done? All she could manage was to murmur, "I don't feel very well."
Mrs. Paley rushed out, dragging Mr. Paley back with her. "She's sick," she said. "Judy's sick." She leaned over her, feeling her forehead, clacking sympathetically that "It's burning, just burning up." A moment later she dashed to the bathroom for a thermometer, and returned to slip it into Judy's still slightly aching mouth. "She's sick," she said again.
"We'd better get Dr. Ellis over here right away."
Judy protested vainly. She would be all right. She would be all right, she insisted; there was no reason �_" no reason at all �_" to call Dr. Ellis. But a moment later she heard her father telephoning from the hall. "It's urgent," he said. "I'm sorry to call you at this hour.
Yeah!" he gave an embarrassed chuckle. "I know, it ruins your golf game. Yes, I know," he laughed again, "but look, my little girl, Judy - yes, she's here on vacation - well, she's awfully sick. And could you come and take a look at her?" There was a pause, and Judy heard the voices of Doug and Tony in the background. The very sound was enough to make her burst into tears, while her mother held her hand, stroking it, murmuring, "That's all right, honey. Don't worry. The doctor will be here soon."
She closed her eyes, and sank back into the darkness which had enveloped her before.
When she opened her eyes, a heavy man, smelling of tobacco and antiseptics was sitting on the edge of the bed, his second and third fingers pressed to her wrist as he took her pulse.
"Say Ah!" he ordered, and Judy opened her mouth wide. He put a finger to her eyelid, rolling it up as he stared into her bloodshot eye. And then he turned to Mr. and Mrs. Paley, and snapped his little black bag shut. "She doesn't seem to have a fever," he said, "but she is exhausted. What she needs is rest, and plenty of vitamins. A few tranquilizers won't hurt, either. I'll just leave a prescription, and then, when she's better, why don't you just send her in for a thorough check-up?"
The tears welled in Judy's eyes again, and then, as she closed them, she heard his receding footsteps and the gentle closing of the door.
She fell asleep then, and only awakened when her mother came in with a bowl of chicken soup and a handful of pills. She tried to sit up, but the movement sent a terrible pain coursing through her. Oh, God! She ached in every limb, as if she had been beaten without mercy. Suddenly she realized she was completely naked beneath the bedclothes.
"Would you bring me my nightgown?" she asked in a low, pathetic voice.
"Which one, honey?" Mrs. Paley asked. But Judy couldn't answer, and she said, "Oh, I know! That little white one trimmed with blue ribbons. Is that it?"
Judy nodded weakly, and Mrs. Paley searched through the bottom drawer of the bureau and fond it. She brought it to the bed and handed it to her daughter, smiling at her. And then her mouth became almost stern. "I know what happened," she said. "Doug and Tony told me!"
A wave of panic engulfed Judy, and she thought she was going to faint. She tried desperately to speak, to deny everything, but her mouth was dry and her tongue clove to the roof of her mouth.
"The very idea," Mrs. Paley went on, shaking her finger half jokingly, half in earnest.
"Taking a moonlight dip in the lake like that. No wonder you caught your death of cold."
Judy sighed with relief. "I guess I should have known better," she managed to say. She closed her eyes again. "Would you mind leaving, Mom? I want to get dressed. And wash, too."
Mrs. Paley sighed. It seemed unnecessarily modest of Judy. But still, the girl was sick.
That must have something to do with her absurd request. "Of course," she said, bending to kiss her forehead before she left, closing the door quietly behind her.
Dizzy, staggering, Judy managed to somehow to get to the bathroom, and stared at her naked voluptuous body in the full length mirror there. She groaned aloud at the sight!
Bruises, welts, scratches! She wondered how on earth she could explain them. She was grateful for the fact that Dr. Ellis had given her such a perfunctory examination. And she hoped desperately that her mother wouldn't get any ridiculous ideas about giving her sponge baths, or nonsense like that.
She pulled the nightgown over her head and went back to bed, tucking the covers in under her chin. She was too tired to do anything but sleep �_" far too tired to think about what had happened, to face the horrible reality.
But after a few days her strength returned while the soreness gradually left her body. She even went out onto the sun porch �_" at Mrs. Paley's insistence �_" and sat there in a chair, blanket wrapped around her. She was huddled beneath it when Tony turned up to talk to her, the first time she had seen him since the night of the moonlight swim.
He shuffled onto the sundeck, not quite able to look his cousin in the face, then stood shifting his weight from foot to foot. Finally he managed to stammer. "H... H... How are you feeling?"
"Better," Judy said, staring at him with round serious eyes.
"Gee," Tony said, looking directly at her for the first time. "I'm glad. I really am." And then he turned and fled, down the steps, over the lawn, across the broad stretch of beach to the dock.
As time went by, Judy felt better physically. But her spirits were low, and sinking further.
She hadn't seen Doug at all since that night; he seemed to be away all the time. "He's gone for, his physical," Mrs. Paley would explain to her daughter. Or, "He wants to see his old friends before he goes into the Marines." Or just, "He's busy tonight, honey. I don't know what he's doing, but he's locked himself in his room, because he lips a lot of things to do." And since their encounter on the porch, she'd only seen Tony once.
And it depressed her, too, that her mother dropped such constant hints about her going to the doctor. "You really ought to, Judy."
"What for, Mom? I'm all right now."
Her mother had brushed her forehead in a light kiss. "Of course you are, darling. But a check-up can't hurt, now can it?"
Oh yes it can, Judy thought. But she merely smiled feebly and promised, "Maybe tomorrow. Okay?"
"Well... " Mrs. Paley had hesitated, and then folded her hands and walked off, while Judy lay back in her deck chair, knowing that she had to get away. Somehow she had to get away. The idea whirled through her brain, along with the question, "How?"
And then, one night as she lay in her bed, unable to sleep, tossing and turning, a plan �_" mad, she told herself, wild, unworkable �_" but nevertheless a plan, seemed to unfold in her tortured mind. It was so simple that she laughed at it. She had, after all, seen it in the movies a hundred times. But it was still worth a try to call her ex-boyfriend, Tom, and ask him to call back.
She was needed back in California; that would be his message to her. That night, for the first time, she managed to fall asleep without resorting to the sleeping pills Dr. Ellis had left for her.
The next day she dressed carefully, shocked at how thin she now was, then went into the living room to watch TV. When her mother, delighted at her new strength, came in with a pitcher of cold lemonade, Judy spoke of seeing Dr. Ellis. "Not that I need to," she insisted.
"I'm really feeling great, now, Mom. But you know... " she teased a little, "you know how uptight you get, about my going. So," she shrugged, "I just thought I'd go."
Her mother tried to hide her relief. "You know, Judy," she said, "I do think you're right about this. I really do." Her fingers fluttered nervously, and she blinked back a tear. "Do you want me to call and make an appointment for you, honey?" she asked.
"Gee, Mom. Would you? That would be great," Judy said, lying back in the comfortable chair.
Later she heard the whispering that meant her mother was imparting the news to Mr.
Paley. And when she got up for lunch �_" actually sat at the table with the rest, picking at her food, but still sitting with the others �_" they were sure that the corner had been turned.
Judy would be well soon.
That afternoon she waved her father a jaunty "good-bye" as he went off fishing with the two boys. When her mother came in, looking tired, Judy insisted that she nap. "I'm all right, Mom," she repeated over and over. "You're the one who's run down, now."
"I should be taking some of those vitamins Dr. Ellis has been stuffing into you," Mrs. Paley said.
"You should be getting some rest. Go on, now!" Judy clapped her hands together briskly. "Go and rest!"
"Do you think you'll be all right?" Mrs. Paley asked anxiously.
"Of course I'll be all right. What on earth could happen to me?"
"Well... I don't know. You've been so sick, Judy. And we've been so worried about you."
"I'm fine now, Mom. And it's time you worried about yourself a little. Now go!" she shook her finger at her mother, turning the tables and becoming the stern parent ordering the small child about.
Mrs. Paley retreated slowly, like a concert singer backing off stage. As she closed the door to her room she said, "You call me, honey, if you need anything. Will you? Promise?"
"I promise," Judy said, then leaned back with a sigh of relief as Mrs. Paley finally closed her door.
She waited until she thought her mother had fallen asleep, then got up and put in a collect call to her ex-boyfriend, Tom, in California. She waited apprehensively until she heard a familiar voice say, "Hey, Judy, what goes?"
"Tom," she said. "Oh, Tom!" And then, pulling herself together, she asked, "Can you help me?"
"Sure," he said. "I'm a little low on cash right now, but whatever you want... "
"It isn't money," Judy said impatiently. "I just want you to call me back later. Will you do that?"
"Sure. What's up?"
"I can't talk now."
"You in trouble?"
"Look, Tom. I have to get away from here. And the only way I can is if you call me and I pretend it's Dr. Lester, the dean of students telling me to come back." She laughed.
"Besides, you don't have to say anything. You don't even have to listen. All you have to do is call me. Will you?"
"Sure. But what goes?"
"I'll tell you when I see you."
"And when will that be?"
"Soon," Judy said fervently. "I hope to God it will be soon."
She went back to her chair, thinking about Tom. He was a hell of a nice guy, and the time they had spent together had been pretty good for both of them. She was sorry it hadn't worked out better. But she'd known she could count on him in a pinch, and this was certainly the pinch.
Her mind went once more to the events of the night, but she switched it to Tom again, as if it were a TV set and she were changing channels. Tom was the gym teacher at the boys' school where she taught, too, and they'd been close in the last year. She'd felt guilty about that, too, had wondered what he thought about her. And then she'd told herself that this was the twentieth century, after all, and that a plain gold ring on her finger didn't mean much, anyway, and why shouldn't they have had their affair? But it hadn't worked out...
and, oh, dear God! She didn't want to think about that, either. She somehow managed to shut out thought, making her mind go blank, like a TV set which has been switched off.
She sat out in the sun until dinner time, then went to the table. She was picking at the salad, the fried chicken, the fresh picked peas, when the telephone rang. "Darn," Mr.
Paley said, pushing back his chair. "Who on earth is calling now?"
He went to the telephone, spoke into it, then called back, "It's for you, Judy. California." He put the receiver down and started back to the table. "I'll bet it's your school," he said.
"Merv," Mrs. Paley protested, "bring the phone here!"
"Huh?"
She made dramatic gestures behind Judy's back. "Bring it in here," she said, pointing at her daughter. "She shouldn't be getting up to go to the telephone."
"Oh, yeah," Paley said, understanding at last. "Now, you just sit there, honey, and I'll bring the phone here."
"Oh, no, Dad!"
"Why not?" he asked, grinning. "Good old American know-how, that's what it is. And we might as well take advantage of it."
He went out, and came back with the phone in his hands, trailing a length of wire behind him. "Here you are, honey," he said, setting it on the table in front of her.
"Thanks, Dad," Judy said. She picked up the telephone and spoke into it. "Yes," she said.
"This is Judy Paley. Yes."
She pretended to listen, then looked up, covering the mouthpiece with her hand. "It's the Dean's office," she said in a stage whisper. Growing concern spread across her face, and she listened for a while, then asked a few pertinent questions. "Is it really that bad?" She listened again, a frown wrinkling her brow. "Oh, I see." Again she listened. "Well, yes, I know. Yes. If you really need me. I shouldn't though. I've been sick."
She paused once more, pretending to listen to what was being said at the other end of the line, glancing around the table as she did so. For the first time in days, she looked directly into Doug's eyes, lewd and evil. His mouth twitched in a smile that she found frightening, and she went on lying even more desperately than before.
"Well, yes. I can see that. Yes, I understand, Dr. Lester. Yes, I can see how important it is that I come back. No... " A glance around the table again told her that such a plan would never meet with family approval, yet she knew she would �_" she must �_" brazen it out and carry it off. "Yes," she ended, "I promise, Dr. Lester. I can leave tonight if you want me to... " A chorus of "no's!" forced her to amend the statement.
"Tomorrow?" she asked into the mouthpiece. "Would that be all right?" She listened again, and then nodded. "All right," she said, "Tomorrow. Yes, Dr. Lester. You can count on me. I think you know that." And then she hung up.
"They want me to go back to school as soon as possible," she said.
"Honey, you can't!" Mrs. Paley protested.
"Why not?"
"You're too ill to travel!" Mr. Paley said.
"But I have to go. They need me. Anyway, I promised the Dean."
"What's going on there that's so gosh darned important you have to go back now?" Doug asked. "It's supposed to be your vacation, isn't it?"
"Yes. But there was a lot of cheating going on at the school last year... "
"And they only found out about it now?" Mr. Paley asked skeptically.
Judy looked her father straight in the eye. "They only found out about it now," she said.
"Well, if it was last year, why can't they wait until fall for you? What's the big hurry?
They've waited a darn long time to do anything, it seems to me."
"That's the point," Judy said. "All the teachers have to come back now, and go over the boys' final exams and their final papers, too, and try to separate the ones that were cribbed from the ones the kids wrote themselves."
"Can't someone else do that, honey?" Mr. Paley asked, gently.
"They don't know my class. And they'd be likely to make a mistake. And if they did... well, some kid who was perfectly honest might get expelled, while some kid who cheated might make the honor roll. And that just wouldn't be fair," she concluded, with an air that said unmistakably, "And I'm not going to let it happen, either."
"Well, I guess if you feel so strongly about it... " Mr. Paley began.
"I do, Dad," she said, "I do." Judy launched into an impassioned speech about law and order, and about justice, too.
Paley smiled. The girl took after him, he thought. Plenty of guts, always willing to stand up for what she believed in. And even if he didn't actually approve of her going back to school now, he knew that he would let her. Hell, how could he prevent her?
"Okay," he said. "But couldn't you postpone it just until Wednesday?"
"I promised," Judy said, shaking her head.
Her father reached across the table and patted her hand. "Well, I guess you'll have to go, then. But I really don't like it. I'll make a plane reservation for you, though. In the morning ..
. Stay through the day... Night, then."
"Hey, Dad," Doug said suddenly, "Let me take Judy to the airport tomorrow. I haven't got anything else to do." He picked up a fork and put it down, clacking it against his plate.
"Matter of fact, I could go all the way to California with Sis. Heck, I'm not doing anything here except waiting for my orders. And I've never been to L.A. Judy could show me around."
_ "Why not?" Mr. Paley asked.
Mrs. Paley smiled and clasped her plump hands together. "Why not, Judy?" she asked.
"Because I'm going to be very busy when I get out there," Judy said, looking at the evil little grin on her brother's face, the lewd expression in his eyes.
"Okay," Doug said. "I'll just drive you to the airport."
"I'd like everyone to come," Judy said. "Mom and Dad and Tony, too. Do you mind?"
Doug shrugged. "That's what you want," he said, "It's okay by me."
"That's what I want," Judy said, staring into his dark, narrowing eyes.
"Okay, then. Like I said, okay."
Judy looked quickly at her watch. "Oh, God! I'd better start packing," she said.
"Tonight?"
"Yes, tonight."
"You'll have all day tomorrow," Mrs. Paley said. "And don't you want any dessert?"
"No," she said, wanting to get away.
Judy pushed her chair away from the table when her mother said quietly, "Strawberry shortcake, Judy?"
"Mom! It's so fattening."
"You could use it."
Judy laughed. "You've convinced me." Later, she tried to help her mother with the dishes, but was shooed out to sit on the porch and "get some rest, dear. Doug and Tony can help for a change."
She sat staring into the dark night, wondering what would become of her, and of Doug.
Wondering why she had permitted herself to lose control that night. Wondering...
wondering...
She was still sitting there, staring at the sky �_" she had wished on the first star, and later had wished on the sliver of the new moon she had seen over her shoulder �_" when she heard footsteps on the parched, bleached boards. "Judy?"
She started, then settled back in the deck chair. "Yes? Yes, Tony?"
"Judy," his voice was low, with a slight tremor in it. "I wanted to talk to you."
"Yes?" her own voice was cold.
"Look, Judy, I'm sorry. You know what I mean. I mean, I'm sorry about what happened."
Her heart went out to him. He seemed so pathetic, standing there in the small net of moonlight cast from above. So vulnerable, she thought. So - oh, dear God! - so young!
"It was my fault, too, I guess," she said. "Don't worry about it, kid."
Tony's voice was even lower now. "Would you �_" can you �_" forgive me, Judy?"
"I asked for it, I guess," Judy said.
"But do you forgive me?"
Judy reached into the darkness and took Tony's hand. "Yes," she said. "Of course. I don't want you to think about this any more."
"I'll try not to," Tony said. She could see that he was biting his lips. "I guess I lost my head," he apologized.
"We all did."
"It was Doug's idea, really."
"I know that."
"You know," Tony said, speaking up for the first time, "He's changed such a hell of a lot, ever since he signed up for the Marines. Sometimes I think it's because he's just sort of strutting around, you know what I mean? Showing off. Things like that. Then other times, I... well, I think it's because he's afraid he might be killed. And that makes him... well, different."
"Of course it does," Judy said with a gentleness she had never before felt.
"I guess... " Tony wondered, "I guess if you figure you're going to die, you just don't give a damn."
"I guess that's right," Judy said.
Tony had thought that over. He stood there before her, scuffing his toe against one of the wide rough boards.
"Judy," he said at last. "I'm not going to smoke that stuff again. And I'm sorry for what happened. I really am."
"I'm sorry, too," Judy said, "and let's try not to think about it any more. Okay?"
"Okay," Tony said, holding out his hand.
Later, Judy had thought that Tony's coming to talk to her that way, and apologize, was the only really good thing that happened to her before she went away.
CHAPTER FIVE
Still once more, as she lay in bed, back in California, Judy was forced to re-live the whole horrifying incident she had so often �_" she had lost track of the number of times she had done so �_" before she could bring herself to get up and shower, feeling as if she could somehow wash herself clean normally again. But she stepped from the spray of warm water feeling as soiled as ever, and reluctantly pulled on her clothes. She made her bed before she went into the kitchen and put the coffee on to heat. She thought of having something to eat, too �_" perhaps an egg and toast or even cereal �_" but she knew she could never manage to swallow it. She gulped the coffee at last and then hurried off to school.
She thought of how wonderful Tom had been when she got back. He'd hardly asked any questions although he'd looked at her through narrowed eyes as she tried to pass off the episode of the telephone call with a laugh and a lie: "I don't know what got into me that night, Tom! I just felt I couldn't stand it there another minute."
"Something must have happened," Tom said. "But if you don't want to talk I'm certainly not going to try to make you." But something happened or you wouldn't clam up this way.
Right?"
Judy tried to make light of the whole matter. "Could be," she said.
"That means I'm right," Tom said. And then, to Judy's relief he dropped the matter.
As the days passed, Judy began to realize how much she had changed. There were times when she stared at herself in the mirror and saw her own familiar face staring back at her and yet she wondered how she could look the same when she was really so different, deep down inside. The knowledge of the lies she had told returned to haunt her, nagging at her Puritan conscience. Even as a small child she had been taught to tell the truth, and had been ashamed of even the tiniest of white lies. And now she had woven a mass of monstrous lies that caught her like a trap and held her prisoner. Oh, God, that's bad enough, she told herself. But what she had done was infinitely worse and she would never forgive herself for it.
She spent as much time as possible alone, unwilling to face friends almost as much as she was unwilling to face herself. She tried to think things over, she rationalized, had to sort things out. What had made her behave in that way? When she could find the answer to that riddle, she would be able to go back, to become the girl she'd been before.
She again thought of seeing a psychiatrist, but found a million excuses for postponing a visit. It would cost a fortune, wouldn't it? Weren't psychiatrists terribly, terribly expensive?
And when she thought of the free or near-free clinics, she decided they were not for her.
Wouldn't it take ages to get an appointment? Of course it would, and it was now �_" not next week or next month - that she needed help.
She began to read psychology books, medical texts, anything she could find on aberrant sexual behavior and above all on incest, often poring over them until late at night. On the rare evenings when she went out to a movie or to bowl with some teachers from the school, she made a point of getting home early. She had no intention of getting involved with any of the men there, no matter how attractive they might seem.
Reading about incest excited her, she discovered, actually aroused her sexually. Dear God, she thought, there's really something wrong with me if just reading about the subject does this to me. And once again she resolved to see a doctor. But again she postponed making the necessary phone call and when she finally tried to analyse her reasons for procrastinating, came to the horrifying conclusion that she had enjoyed what had happened �_" even enjoyed the thought of it now, and the research she was doing into the subject of perversions �_" so much that she could not bear to be cured of her unnatural desires for her own brother.
And so she would he in bed at night and groan as she dreamed of Doug doing it to her again. When she would awaken in the early morning before the sun had barely shown itself she would find herself twisting and turning in bed. her hands running over her nakedly perspiring body.
Her life seemed to stretch before her like an empty road, and she filled it as best as she could with her work, her reading and her thoughts. She kept in constant touch with her family, though, writing often and receiving letters in turn from her mother and father. They answered with their own news and news of Doug, now in the Marines. But she heard nothing directly from her brother and never wrote to him herself.
She saw little of Tom until the night he turned up unexpectedly, knocking furiously at her door. Judy pulled on a robe over her naked body and called out, "Who's there?"
"Me!"
"Who's me?"
"It's Tom. Tom Packard."
"Oh, my God!" Judy said. She looked desperately around for her slippers. "What's happened?"
"Everything. Damn it! Just about everything!"
He knocked furiously again, knocked so hard that Judy was afraid he would awaken the neighbors. Something terrible must have happened to him, she thought, racing to the door. She stopped for a brief moment before the mirror in the hall and ran her fingers through her tousled hair, trying to smooth it down. She was still tying her robe when she opened the door.
Tom stood there weaving slightly, obviously almost, but not quite drunk. His hair was mussed, his tie loosened and his shirt rumpled and he cradled a half empty bottle of Scotch in his arm. "I'm a poor little sheep who has lost his way," he said in a maudlin tone.
Judy put her hands on her hips. "Just what do you want me to do about it?" she asked.
"Let me in," the handsome teacher said.
"Take pity on this poor, wayfaring stranger, invite him in to the hospitality of your hearth and home... "
"Come in," Judy said, looking around, afraid again of arousing the neighbors.
She stepped back, then closed the door behind him as he entered the apartment. He bowed low to her, doffing an imaginary hat. "Madam, you will have my undying gratitude."
In spite of herself, Judy laughed. "Come on, Tom," she said reprovingly, "What's with you tonight? Except, of course, that you're two sheets to the wind."
"That, Madam," he said, "is a crass and craven lie. I am as sober as a judge... "
"Then it's a judge I'd hate to come up against in court," Judy said. "Come on. What gives?"
Suddenly he became serious. "Helen," he said.
"Is she sick or something?" The idea of a terrible automobile accident passed through Judy's brain. "Dead?" she whispered, wide-eyed with sudden apprehension.
Tom shook his head. "We've split up," he announced. He stalked into the living room and threw himself on the couch. Groping in his pockets, he finally came up with a crushed pack of cigarettes. He looked up at his attractive co-teacher, his woebegone expression changing to one of sheepishness. "We split up," he repeated. He searched again in his pocket and this time pulled out a gold ring set with a small, sparkling diamond. "She gave me the ring back, too."
Judy clasped her hands in front of her. "Oh, Tom, I'm sorry!" she exclaimed, "I really am."
Tom shrugged. "Well, that's the way it goes, I suppose."
"What happened?"
He shrugged again. "How the hell do I know? We had an argument �_" Jesus, I don't even remember how it started. And then she said... and then I said. You know how those things go. And finally she said something like 'I never want to see you again. So will you please go'?" He unscrewed the top from the bottle, held it to his lips and gulped down a shot of Scotch. "And so I went."
"And came here!"
"And came here. Damn it all, Judy, I'm sorry to bother you. I know you've got your own troubles."
Judy shot him a swift sharp glance. "W-what do you mean?" she asked, sucking in her breath.
Tom looked surprised at the violence of her reaction to what had seemed such a simple remark. "Well, something must have happened to you back there in Wisconsin," he said, "I can tell. Did you have an unhappy love affair?"
Judy sighed. "Nothing like that," she said. "It was just... well, just what I talk you."
"OK, that's your story," Tom said, "and I don't buy it. But it doesn't matter much anyway, does it? I didn't come here to pry into your affairs... " he caught the double meaning and grinned foolishly. "Didn't mean it that way," he said. "Anyway, I just felt the need to spill out my troubles to someone. Sorry to bother you." He got to his feet, his face disconsolate, and began to move precariously toward the door.
"You don't have to apologize," Judy said, feeling sorry for him. "I've spilled out my troubles to you often enough, God knows." She started toward the kitchen. "Sit down, Tom. I'll make some coffee."
"Never touch the stuff," Tom assured her. "Bad for the liver, you know."
"What?"
"Sure. I'm a teetotaler, didn't you know that?"
"When it comes to coffee, that is," Judy said, smiling.
"That's right. At least for now." He smiled morosely. "Anyway, I'm pretty well supplied with this... " he held out the bottle to her. "Join me?"
"Why not?" Judy asked after a second's hesitation. The poor guy obviously needed something, after what he'd been through. "But let me get a couple of glasses. Okay?"
She went to the kitchen and brought them back, with some ice and a bottle of soda. "Want this?" she asked.
"No." Tom poured his own straight, then asked, "You?"
"Just ice, thanks."
Tom poured a second drink, handed it to Judy, then raised his glass. "To women," he said, "And I wish to God I could understand them." He began to ramble on then about Helen, remembering her sometimes with pain, sometimes with pleasure. But he returned again and again to the same point. "I just can't understand women."
Judy looked at him affectionately, thinking how true that was. He was like most of the men she'd met, perfectly at ease with members of his own sex, yet lost when it came to dealing with those of the opposite one. He was like a little boy, she thought, and then it struck her that it had been just that attribute which had attracted her to him in the first place. He was like a little boy, and it suddenly seemed to her that nothing in the world was more exciting than little boys. The thought of Doug and her young cousin Tony flashed through her brain. And even young little boys, too! And she'd been attracted to them, in just the same way.
Her hand trembled and she felt a little weak. Tom, looking at her, suddenly stopped talking about his own problems. "What's the matter, Judy?" he asked. "You look as if you've seen a ghost."
She tried to smile, "I was just thinking of something," she said. "I mean about you and Helen," she added hastily. "How it's really so awful to split up over something that's so trivial you can't even remember what it was." Covering her embarrassment, she suggested, "How about another drink?"
"Sure." He poured a generous shot for himself, then poured her glass half full. Once again he raised his glass in the toast; "To women, I'll never understand them." He moved a little closer to Judy, sitting on the couch beside him. "I thought I understood Helen," he said, "and look what's happened. And I thought I understood you, too... " he put his hand on her knee, "... and then you went and broke everything off, and I never could figure out why.
And we had such good times together... I really thought we had something going," he added sadly.
Tom's hand on her knee sent little thrills of excitement crawling up Judy's spine. Oh, dear God! she thought, knowing she should move away from him. But his hand felt so good there. So good! Even so, she did try to move away, to distract his attention. "We have to teach tomorrow," she said. "Don't you think you ought to lay off the liquor?"
"Hell, no!" Tom said, pouring more drinks for them both. "It isn't every day I break up with my girl. Not every day I break an engagement. Here's to broken engagements and broken hearts."
Judy's head was beginning to whirl when she drank the toast and Tom again put his hand on her knee and rubbed it sensuously. "We had good times together. I mean it seemed great to me. Did I do anything wrong? I mean I could never figure it out. I can't figure out anything at all!"
Judy laughed and ran her hand caressingly through his ruffled hair. "You were great," she said. "It just wasn't the right time, I guess."
Tom looked at her through bleary eyes. "And what does that mean?"
Judy shrugged and sipped at her drink. "Oh, I guess it just wasn't the right time, that's all."
His hand inched up along her leg and slipped under her robe, pulling it aside.
Once again, Judy felt forbidden erotic thrills clutching at her spine; once again, she tried to move away. "I guess I've had too much to drink," she said, gently removing his hand from her thighs.
"There's no such thing as too much," Tom said. Somewhat unsteadily, he poured each of them another drink. "Come on, loosen up. Tell me about yourself." He put his hand back on her knee again, stroking it gently, then letting it rove on up to her thigh again. Judy sat with one leg crooked under her, making no protest this time as his hand gradually slipped between her legs to tease at her smooth, unprotected flesh.
She took a long drink and said nothing as his hand kept exploring her nudity, and he pulled the robe still higher to expose a good portion of her beautifully shaped white thigh.
Her thoughts were befuddled now, and she heard Tom's voice coaxing. "Come on, I tell you all my troubles. We meant something to each other once upon a time. Tell me your troubles."
Judy took a deep breath and held it. Instead of talking she drank deeply again. She thought of telling him what had happened to her. Why not? He'd been so damned considerate to her before. Maybe it would do her good if she could just spill out her whole story to someone. Wouldn't it be a great relief?
"Come on. I know something's bothering you. Tell me."
She looked at him, focusing her eyes on his face with difficulty. Oh, dear God! She'd had too much to drink. Far too much. "Oh, Tom," she said, "Oh, poor old, dear old Tom." She felt slightly dizzy again. "Poor old Tom is so good and honest."
Tom nodded his agreement and poured still more for each of them to drink.
One more, Judy thought, one more drink, and I'm going to break down and tell him everything that happened. She drained her glass and caught her breath. "You see," she began in a low quavering voice, "it isn't that I don't like sex. it isn't that at all. I like it. I really do. I like it a lot. I just can't help liking it."
Tom snorted and went on stroking her thighs which was bare now up to the hip. Judy knew that another inch, and the soft resilient curls of her femininity would show, but she didn't care. She didn't care at all. She felt a tingling between her legs, the beginning of her womanly moisture seeping excitedly down. Maybe, she told herself, maybe if she told him the truth about last summer, and then they made love, maybe she would be able to forget it all. And in her fogged and excited state she gave no thought to Helen, although she was her friend.
"So what's wrong with liking sex? Millions of people do. I do! Helen doesn't. I guess that's where it's at! I liked sex with you." Tom's voice dropped low, and his fingers lightly brushed against the soft, thinly growing curls down at the base of her stomach.
Judy shuddered, and felt her nipples throb into hardness beneath her robe. "I guess I like it too much," she whispered.
Tom put his drink down and with one finger slowly, teasingly stroked the soft folds of her warmly pulsating flesh. "So what's wrong with that?" he asked.
Judy couldn't meet his eyes. Instead she stared off across the room as she repeated, "I just like it too much."
"That's healthy," Tom whispered, shifting his weight and leaning close, untying her robe now and pulling it back so that she was almost naked, her lovely breasts suddenly released from their confining covering.
"Tom!" Judy said almost breathlessly, "we shouldn't."
"I always did go for you!" he said. His fingers parted the softness of her lower fleece now, and found the tiny throbbing need concealed beneath it.
Judy's head fell back, while her breasts seemed to stand out in an irresistible invitation.
Tom cupped one in his hand and the tip of his wet tongue flicked over the tips, making her groan. "Come on," he urged, "don't be inhibited."
She stood before him, face flushed, eyes glazed, a mocking smile twitching her lips. Her robe hung open now as Tom looked up at her, amazed at her sudden vehemence. God, but she was lovely! Her breasts were round and firm and utterly tantalizing, her stomach flat but well molded. As the robe fell further open it revealed her voluptuous thighs, the full length of her shapely legs tapering to slim ankles. Her proportions, he thought, were absolutely breathtaking. He fixed his eyes on the smooth mound at the base of her belly, covered with the sparse blond triangularly patterned hair. "Inhibited," Judy said again, slurring the word slightly. She pointed to the couch. "Stay there," she ordered.
She closed the robe around her, silencing Tom with a gesture as he protested. "Just watch," she said. She smiled at him lewdly. Now she was going to show him something, she thought. She was going to show him just what she was like. In all her evilness, her suddenly drunken depravity. He would see! Oh, yes! He would see!
And she would exorcise a few ghosts, too, and perhaps free herself from this past which haunted her. She would �_" what was it Shakespeare had said �_" in her drink befuddled mind, the words formed themselves: "This above all, to thine own self be true!" Well, she would be true to herself, now. And she was going to have herself a helluva good time in the bargain.
Still smiling, she let the robe drop from one shoulder, falling far enough down to expose the softly swelling mound of one breast. Still smiling and moving in front of him, she let the robe drop from the other shoulder, then stood holding it against her by teasingly cupping the softly throbbing mounds of her chest. Slowly, her eyes half closed, she wiggled one leg free from under the robe, exposing it up to the hip. "You like?" she asked in a sultry voice.
"I like," Tom said, breathing heavily.
"Want to see some more?" she teased.
His excitement growing, Tom nodded. Judy began to hum to herself and to move slowly back and forth in front of the couch, pulling the robe down to free first one breast and then the other. As Tom sat with open mouth watching her free hand cup the breast and her-fingers massage and squeeze the nipple, all he could mutter was "Jesus Christ!"
Judy went on, lowering the robe around her full firm hips, lowering it almost down to the base of her stomach. She stood directly in front of him and began slowly and lewdly to rotate her buttocks, thrusting out toward his face in a slow grind so that the thinly curling triangle at the base of her belly showed. She kept it up until Tom, with a hoarse groan started to get up and reach for her.
Nimbly she jumped back, smiling, her mouth open and the pink tip of her tongue showing between her moistly parted lips. "No," she teased, "Not yet, darling."
"Oh God, Judy, I can't help it," Tom groaned, lunging at her.
"No," Judy commanded, surprising herself with the harshness in her voice. "Sit down!" she said.
Dumbfounded, Tom fell back on the couch.
Judy smiled seductively, weaving back to stand in front of him. "I like my sex in funny ways," she said in a low husky voice. "And believe me, I'll give you all the sex you want." A lewd smiled lifted the corners of her mouth and then brazenly she let out the obscene expression she had heard Doug use, and which had excited her so much every time she repeated it.
Tom looked up at her, astounded.
Judy smiled again. "Yes," she said, repeating the word. "I love to say that, you know. And I love to do it, too. That's what I found out when I went back to Wisconsin. Now you know part of it. Want me to go on?" She was astounded herself at the crude forcible way she spoke; astounded and aroused. This... this was what she was really like.
Tom could barely nod.
Judy looked at him for a minute, teasingly moving her half exposed hips. "That's better," she said in a low voice. Slowly she turned her back to Tom and gradually, tantalizingly, let the robe slip lower and lower, showing all of the smoothly glistening half moons of her backside to Tom. He gazed at them with desire-fogged eyes, thinking how lovely they were, how firm and rounded, like twin smooth melons.
Tom caught his breath again as Judy let the robe fall to the floor and stood completely naked before him with her back to him. She spread her arms wide and swayed back and forth, saying over her shoulder, "Not yet, I'll tell you when I'm ready, darling."
Slowly, with her hands provocatively on her hips, she turned to face him. Closing her eyes and licking her lips sensuously, she ran her two hands up the inside of her thighs. Just as slowly, as Tom leaned forward, panting audibly, she moved her feet outward, stretching her legs wide in a teasing position.
Tom got to his feet with another deep chested moan. Judy gave a lewd low throated laugh and dropped suddenly to her knees in front of him, pressing him gently back on the couch.
"You would have to come up here tonight," she said, her voice as lewd as her laugh had been.
She crouched between his knees and put her hand out to touch him, thrilling a little to realize he was already excited. She caressed him gently, then opened his trousers, insinuating her hand between the folds of tweed. With a groan, Tom closed his eyes and let his head fall back, while Judy's soft warm fingers closed around him inside. Slowly she drew him forth, stroking and squeezing him, looking lovingly up at him in the soft dim light.
Always before they had made love in the dark. But that was in the past, she thought, smiling.
She continued to caress him, crooning softly to herself now, while Tom twitched and groaned in his growing excitement. And then she flicked her head forward, and her tongue shot out to softly graze the heavy masculinity she cradled so carefully in her two hands.
Tom groaned again, and almost instinctively tried to close his knees, but Judy wedged herself between them. "Relax," she whispered to him, "Just relax and enjoy it:" Just like me, she thought. Just the way I'm enjoying doing this almost un-natural thing. Oh, God, it was so wicked, and yet it was so wonderful. This was the way it had to be! This was the way to have love. Why do people grope around in the dark and feel guilty when this was what they should really be doing?
She opened her mouth and took him into her, closing her lips around the smoothness of him, loving him gently while he writhed and groaned at the unexpected, yet thrilling, assault. She held him to her with one hand, while her other slipped down to her own passionately throbbing nerve center. As she tickled herself, she felt her excitement mount to new heights, felt a wondrous erotic ache spread through her body, felt the dazzling explosion of what seemed to be millions of tiny stars casting their glow in her warmly coursing blood. It was so good, she thought, so good! This was what she had wanted for so long, and had been so ashamed of wanting. But the horror she had felt before was gone, and there was only ecstasy as she began to move her lips, delicately at first, and then with slowly increasing strength, her cheeks hollowing and then expanding over warm masculine excitement. As she did so, she caressed and stroked herself, too, with wilder and wilder abandon.
Tom moaned, his head bobbing above Judy's, now flung back in rapturous joy. He'd never known a woman like this, a woman so animal-like in her lust. "Inhibited", he had called her.
The idea brought a stifled laugh from him. "Inhibited!" God, he'd never seen anything like her. She was the most passionate creature imaginable, the most excited and exciting he'd ever known. She was... good! Oh God! She had practically turned into a nymphomaniac, hadn't she? He'd read about them, in those books he found in the locked section of the school library, and he'd always dreamed of meeting one. But never, never had he imagined that Judy Paley �_" the girl he'd gone with the year before, yes, and slept with, too �_" that Judy Paley was such a woman. And yet... but he didn't want to think about it.
What was happening now was too thrilling, too wonderful for normal thought.
He reached down and grabbed her by the hair, pulling her down harder on him. She struggled against him with all her force, but she was no match for his athlete's body. And then he began to move more quickly in and out of her wondrously warm lips, working deeper inside now, almost to her throat, while Judy seemed to welcome him, making no effort to resist this perverted invasion but, yes, welcoming him.
And then, with a sudden unexpected effort, Tom threw her backwards, hurling her almost halfway across the room. She landed with a crash and lay blinking, her breath temporarily knocked out of her. Her eyes still closed, Judy raised her knees up and let them fall limply open, knowing in her mind that it was this that she had wanted, and longed for so passionately and for so long. It had been just like this with her brother, with Doug.
Doug, she thought wildly. Oh, dear God! Doug!
If only he were here! And if Tony could be here, too, and they could all do together what they had done before. She realized suddenly that somewhere deep in her subconscious mind, she wanted to be used by men, abused by them, wanted to be treated like the lowest of women.
Oh, dear God! She would love to be raped and ravished until she couldn't walk! She would! She would!
Above her, Tom �_" wild-eyed �_" tore at his clothes and then fell on top of her, pinning her down and finding her quivering little mound of womanhood once more, finding the tiny door that would give him the ultimate in pleasure -yes, and give her that very same ecstasy �_" and then he was entering her, pushing forward to her delight and his, sweeping forward, sweeping deep.
She felt his crushing strength above her, felt the brutality of it all and closed her eyes. It wasn't Tom at all, she thought. It was Doug! Her brother, Doug, and it was as wonderful as it had been before, back there in the little town of Portage, when they had rolled nakedly across the floor, locked sensuously together, locked in their own incestuous embrace.
She ran her hand across Tom's back, as she had across Doug's back that night, stroking him and moaning tender words into his ear as she did so.
She half opened her eyes, listening with delight as he groaned his pleasure and then a marvelous feeling overwhelmed her, and she thought she was really back in Portage, back by the lake, before the living room fireplace. And it wasn't Tom, her ex-boyfriend, loving her deep inside, but Doug. And then it was Tony, and then Doug again.
In her ecstasy, she moaned his name. "Oh, Doug! Doug, oh my God! Doug!" And then she shuddered as she reached her climax, shuddered, and tensed, arching her back, straining toward that ultimate of which she had so long dreamed. "Oh, my God, Doug," she moaned, "Do it! Do it to me, Doug! Do it!" She quivered as she rose to the peak, lay motionless for what seemed ages, and then collapsed back into the rug with a soft moan, a whisper of her contentment.
Tom, still turning and twisting above her suddenly stopped. "Doug?" he said aloud, "Doug? Who the hell is he?"
Judy moaned, barely comprehending the question.
"For Christ's sake, I want to know, who is Doug?"
This time Judy shook her head negatively.
"Was he the man out there in Wisconsin? You know, the man?" Tom asked, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking them.
Judy nodded. "Yes," she said, "I... I guess that was who he was."
There was a long moment of silence, while Judy covered her face with her hands, hiding her growing fear. Why on earth had she let Doug's name slip out like that? Why, dear God! Why? And what did it mean?
Oh, she knew. She knew the awful reality of it, the truth it told about her depravity, her twisted desires. She waited for Tom to say something, to probe further, then heard his flat troubled voice. "Was he your lover? Is that what happened out there?"
Hands still in front of her face, Judy nodded.
Tom lay still for a moment and then with a loud sigh turned, rolling away from her still erotically quivering body, his own needs unsatisfied. He sat on the floor beside Judy for a moment, then rose, crossed the room, searched through the pocket of his jacket for a cigarette and lit it. Then he slumped down against the wall, huddled against it in utter depression and disgust, puffing on the cigarette.
Judy rolled over on her stomach and looked at him, trying desperately to remember if she had ever mentioned her brother's name to Tom. She must have, she thought frantically.
She must have. Fear gripped her, and then, with a toss of her head, she shook herself free of it. What if she had? Her brother wasn't the only person in the world named Doug, was he? Her voice calm, she murmured, "Please don't feel so bad, Tom."
He flicked ashes recklessly on the floor. "Hell of a night," he said, "First one girl and then another. What the hell is wrong with me, anyhow?"
Moved by the anguish in his voice, Judy crawled to his side and took his hand. "I'm sorry," she said, "I really am." She paused, her eyes downcast. "It's true, Tom. He was my lover, but that's over. I'm making love to you, now," she added, knowing there was not a word of truth in what she was saying.
"Big deal!"
Judy smiled, and began to stroke him, running her hands over his lithe muscular body, arousing him again to throbbing excitement. It had been a terrible thing to do to him, she thought, knowing his frustration, the aching in his loins that would never leave until he, too, was satisfied. "Poor boy," she whispered, "Want somebody to be good to you, don't you?
You want someone to give you a little loving, isn't that it?"
Tom said nothing, but Judy knew that his flesh was burgeoning forth once more, that he needed her as much as ever. Gently she took the cigarette from him and got up, taking a puff before she walked to the coffee table and ground it out in an ash tray. She turned and looked at Tom still sitting forlornly on the floor. "Come here," she said in her husky, almost threatening, voice. "I'm going to be very good to you."
Slowly, self-consciously, Tom got to his feet and walked across the room. Judy lifted her face to his, crushing her mouth to his lips, darting her moist pink tongue between them, while she ran her hands up and down his naked back, over his thighs, his buttocks. Then she pulled away and laughed lightly. "Lie down here," she ordered, "I'll take very good care of you!"
"On the couch?" Tom asked, pointing to it.
"Yes, silly. Lie down on this end. Lie on your back," she said.
Obediently, Tom lay down and looked up at her. She stood naked and brazen before him, and he felt the full force of his sensual excitement lash through him, igniting his blood once again. "What are you going to do?"
For an answer, Judy took one of his legs and draped it over the arm of the couch. Then she knelt on the floor between his knees and spread them wide. She took him, as strong as iron in her hands, and moved it slowly up and down several times, smiling at him. And then she thrust her head forward, and her mouth ovalled wide as she took him to her there once more.
Tom's head fell back as he groaned, and a new wave of excitement crashed through him as Judy swirled her tongue over the heaviness of him that seemed to reach deep into her, to brush almost all the way back against her throat.
Judy felt him growing, ever-growing there inside her, felt the burgeoning, and then with a muffled cry of ecstasy, tasted the warm wet droplets of his rising excitement. At first it had seemed strange, but now it was like nectar to her, and she swirled her tongue around and around from where it seeped, sending shudders of joy through Tom's body that matched her own.
He stared at her, his eyes lewdly narrowed, as her cheeks hollowed and expanded around his desire while she slid her free hand beneath him, to grasp and stroke and fondle the tender skin there, the pendulent little reservoirs of his passion. Her head began to bob as she worked diligently below, drawing him deeper and deeper into the warm moist cavern.
He'd never known anything like this. Never! This woman he had called 'inhibited' was the most erotically driven female imaginable.
He began to writhe and move his hips as her beautiful, passion-contorted face seemed to envelope him, her wet lips moving up and down, up and down over him. He worked as though his life depended on it, but it was Judy who increased the tempo, building slowly, slowly but steadily, then faster and faster while Tom moved with her, unable to take his eyes from her desire-hungered face. My God! He had never seen anything like this! He had never seen such ecstasy, such joy. She loved it! She loved this ecstatic, totally uninhibited thing she was doing.
They moved in rhythm with Tom moaning and urging her on with breathless exclamations.
"Oh, my God, Judy. Do it! Do it! Don't stop... don't stop... don't stop!"
Again he ground in and out, in and out, in long, quick movements, each sending flashes of fire through his wildly aching limbs, his throbbing, trembling body. He pressed forward as hard as he could, thrilled at the sight of Judy so hungrily clasping him to her.
He began to breathe heavily as his own excitement grew unbearably, as he strove to reach his climax. And yet something prevented him from going on, from fulfilling himself.
This was wrong, he told himself. This was perverted. It was he who was inhibited, not Judy. He had never done such a thing before, and even in his passion-clouded mind the question posed itself; had she?
She had, she had! And yet he could not for the life of him bring himself to the final peak.
He screamed out his frustration and rage, then lay back, panting. He wanted this so much, and yet his terrible sense of guilt prevented him from completion of the act. Oh, dear God!
Oh, Christ!
Yet Judy never stopped. She heard his scream of anger and instinctively knew what she must do. She cupped him between the legs with one hand, gently caressing him while her tongue worked faster and faster. Her other hand gripped him so that he could not pull away, could not escape from her tantalizing teasing that went on and on, madly.
Tom, still panting, still tingling on the verge of explosion, reached a peak of excitement he had never known or even dreamed of. He could not resist any longer... he could not!
His hips began moving again and he groaned in the terrible pleasure of the moment...
no, he could not hold out any longer and he felt the sweet electricity course through his body. He twitched and moaned, still staring down in lewd awe and wonder at the sensuously bobbing head of this woman he had known so well and yet never really known at all. And then, with a sudden explosive spasm, with his face contorted with his own lust and uncontrollable emotion, he burst forth into her, filling her with his wild raging liquid passion.
Judy's cheeks hollowed again as she clasped him tightly still, until at last, with a long moan, he fell away from her face �_" drained and satisfied.
Judy lifted her head from him at last and knelt looking at Tom sprawled flat on the couch, his eyes closed. She crawled up on top of him and kissing him full on the lips whispered, "There, did you like that?"
For answer, he could only nod weakly.
"Lots more where that came from," she said suggestively.
Tom made no answer and Judy frowned, wondering what was wrong with him. Then, for answer, she heard and felt his deep, even breathing.
Judy smiled. He was sound asleep.
CHAPTER SIX
Tom woke with a start, sitting up immediately, looking around and rubbing his face. At first he had no idea where he was, and his heart began to flail against his ribs. Then, as he recognized Judy's apartment, he breathed a sigh of relief and fell back, closing his eyes, ready to drop off to sleep again.
Suddenly, though, it struck him like a flash of lightning. Judy's apartment! Here he was in Judy's apartment, on her couch, lying there stark naked and covered only with a sheet, while lewd images of the past night whirled foggily through his mind. He struggled to his feet, scouted around until he found his trousers and pulled them on. Then he tiptoed to the bedroom door, opened it a crack and peered in. Judy was asleep, he saw, only her tousled hair showing above the covers.
With elaborate care he closed the door and tip-toed back to dress as quickly as possible.
Then he moved stealthily to the door, feeling a little like a criminal. He stopped there, looked around to see if he had forgotten anything, thought for a moment about leaving a note, decided against it, and slipped out. The sun was just coming up, and the neighborhood was still asleep when Tom slipped behind the wheel of his car.
He sat there for a moment, then searched for a cigarette and lit it. The events of the night before marched like little tin soldiers through his still-reeling mind. Slowly he shook his head, still awed, still puzzled. He'd never dreamed that Judy was like that. My God! She was practically :. . he cut the thought off abruptly. He'd never dreamed she was like that, he told himself firmly. He shook his head as he started the car and drove slowly away.
At his own apartment he showered quickly, then put on clean clothes and went into the kitchen. Over a breakfast of orange juice, black coffee and an aspirin, followed by two cigarettes, his mind dwelt continually on Judy. Then suddenly, he thought of Helen!
He slapped his hand to his forehead. Oh, God! He'd only wanted to talk to Judy about Helen, that was why he'd gone there. And wasn't she just an old friend, someone who would understand?
He shook his head. Not any more she wasn't. Oh God! Good Lord, how she'd changed over the summer. She'd been good before, she'd been as sexy as anyone he'd ever known. But now she was... she was... words failed him. She was wild with passion, she was almost wanton, she was... again he shut his mind, closing out the image.
It was someone named Doug who had aroused her, he thought. "Doug," he said aloud.
Somehow the name was familiar, and he racked his brain, trying to remember in what connection she had used it. He gave up at last, telling himself only that it was this Doug who had changed her, and now he was involved with Judy again as he still was with Helen, and wondering what on earth he was going to do next?
Halfway across town, Judy was already planning just what she wanted Tom to do next.
She had awakened from a deep sleep, the first good night of sleep she had had in a long time. As she showered, soaping her voluptuous body, running her hands up and down its length and singing happily to herself, she began to make nebulous plans, not ready yet to think too clearly. But the plans kept forming, nevertheless, and she knew that she would carry them out when the time came.
She stepped from the shower, rubbed herself dry with a fluffy, thirsty bath towel, then dressed leisurely. As she carefully applied her make-up in front of the mirror, she studied herself closely.
The image she saw was lovely. Her face was small and heart-shaped, her chin prettily pointed. Her long blonde hair framed the face perfectly, and her dark eyes �_" a startling contrast �_" were wide and charming peeping from it. Her figure, she knew from the wolf calls that followed her whenever she went shopping, was excellent, and she admired her slim waist, her firmly pointed young breasts.
But there was nothing cheap about her, she told herself. She came from a family of fine, decent people, and she knew that she looked it. She knew, too, that everyone respected her. She was a "nice girl," they thought, and she made up her mind that they would continue to think so.
Yet she, herself, knew otherwise. She was depraved and wicked and vicious, and she was willing to admit that now, and even to enjoy it. Why not? "This above all, to thine own self be true." The words rattled through her brain, taking on a weird rhythm of their own. "This above all!" And she was being true, at last, to the real Judy Paley, the girl who was completely free and uninhibited. She stared at herself in the mirror, then nodded in greeting. Life would be simpler from now on, she decided. There would be no more attempts to hide from herself. She would be what she was, accepting herself with no guilt, no regrets. "Here's to you, the new Judy Paley," she said with a wave of her hand. And then she got her coat, slipped it on, and left for school.
In the car, she drove with ease and detachment, thinking of the night before. Until then, there had been only one thing on her mind since she had come back from Wisconsin during the summer. Morning, noon and night �_" and especially at night - she had thought incessantly of Doug and Tony and of the night at the lake. Thinking of it, she had cowered with guilt and shame. Now that was all over. She knew what she was and she accepted herself for just that. Good or bad, it was the real Judy, and she would live with it happily from now on.
She thought with gratitude of Tom, of the depression and the drunken spree which had sent him knocking on her door. Poor Tom! But his misery had lifted her out of her own and she would never forget it. Poor Tom, she thought again. But someday he, too, would be free, would accept himself as she had just learned to accept herself. He would give in to his feelings and enjoy them. And what could be better than that?
Nothing. Absolutely nothing! She had just done that, and for the first time in months had been able to relax, had slept the night through and awakened refreshed.
Before she drifted off to sleep a plan had floated through her mind. It was hazy, a mere outline. But she knew that it would take form later and that she would follow it, follow it unswervingly wherever it led her. It might be madness, it might be sheer insanity, but it was the only path to happiness that she knew.
She walked slowly across the school parking lot, aware that all the boys were watching her. She had always been friendly with the students, but now there was more warmth to her waved greeting than usual. She stopped to speak to one of the seniors. At sixteen, he was big for his age, and physically quite mature even more so than her cousin Tony who had given her so much pleasure. She noted with approval the sprouting down on his chin, the trace of moustache above his mouth. He was just ripe, she thought wickedly, just ripe!
"How is your English coming along, Red?" she asked. She knew the answer very well; the boy was on the verge of flunking it once more. It would be easy, she thought, to persuade him to stop by for some special help some afternoon. And if something happened �_" well, then something would happen. She wasn't going to fight this thing any longer. Hadn't she already made up her mind as to that?
Red scuffed his sneaker against the asphalt of the parking lot. "Okay, I guess."
Judy stared at him from beneath her long dark lashes before she said, in a voice with just the faintest trace of sultriness in it, "Maybe I can help you a little. Your grades haven't been too good, you know."
"Yeah!"
"Come and see me after school someday, and we'll have a little talk, just the two of us," she said, touching his arm with just a hint of suggestiveness in the gesture. She lowered her eyes. "Promise?"
Red shook his head, frowning. "But I got baseball practice," he said.
"It will just take a few minutes. And don't worry, I'm not going to scold you," she said.
"Okay?"
"Yeah, I guess so," the boy said evasively. But she knew that she could count on him, nevertheless.
She smiled as she walked to the classroom. Who knew what would happen next?
Whatever it was, she thought, it would be exciting. And wasn't that what life was all about?
Excitement? Wasn't that what everybody wanted out of life?
Not everybody, she finally admitted to herself. But it was what she wanted, and Red and the other young boys in the school would give it to her. That would be later, though. For the moment, she would concentrate on Tom.
Once again she thought of Helen, and felt genuinely sorry for her. But it was her own fault, wasn't it? She had been the one who had quarreled with Tom and had broken the engagement. She had sent Tom scurrying to her, and whether or not they had found each other, she had at least found herself. Insane? Possibly. But good, too. Better than anything she had yet known.
She took her place behind her desk and busied herself with some papers as she waited for the boys to come in. A thrill ran through her at the thought of them. She liked the idea of having young boys, like her brother, Doug, had been, she admitted, with a tiny blush.
She liked them more than she had ever realized.
The day passed quickly as Judy, more at ease than she'd ever been, joked with the boys, teased them a little, even made them flush with embarrassment. "What's with Miss Paley?" she heard one boy whisper.
"Search me," the other said.. And then a knowing look cross his face. "Maybe she's got herself a man," he whispered back.
Judy looked down at her desk, her ears turning a faint pink. Maybe she did, she thought.
Only maybe it was really just a boy �_" just a boy like those two sitting there talking about her.
She didn't see Tom during the day, at least not to talk to. He didn't turn up at the faculty dining room for lunch, and he didn't stop in at the faculty lounge for coffee as he usually did during breaks between classes. But she caught sight of him once from the window of her classroom! He was standing on the edge of the athletic field, a lonely and pathetic figure, staring up at her window.
Judy knew that he would be around to see her, and soon. That night, probably. She was almost certain of that. She knew Tom well enough by now to predict just what he was up to. And so she hurried into town after she had seen Red, to shop in a store she had passed often, but had never gone into before. With her bundles tucked under her arm, she darted into a liquor store nearby. It wouldn't hurt to have some Scotch on hand, she told herself. Just in case. She laughed a little, expanding on her thought. In case Tom was shy or awkward �_" inhibited, wasn't that the word? She hurried home, dropped her bundles �_" except for the Scotch �_" on the coffee table, then hurried to tidy the place up a bit. She hung up her coat, and kicked off her shoes, then padded around in her stocking feet, putting records on the stereo, stacking them in just the proper order, putting cigarettes in the little silver cup that she had drunk her milk from as a small child. She unwrapped the packages she had brought home with her, throwing out the paper, laying out the contents on the bed. Then she poured herself a drink of the Scotch. Maybe she didn't need it, she told herself. Still, a little drink never hurt anybody.
She waited a long time, sipping her drink, wondering when Tom would turn up. When he hadn't come at dinner time she fixed a plate of bacon and scrambled eggs for herself and wolfed them down. Later, after she had had another drink, she slipped off her dress, her brassiere and panties, and pulled a long flowing robe over her head. Then she switched on the television set and waited, smoking an occasional cigarette.
As she assured herself for the tenth time that Tom was certain either to telephone or to turn up on her doorstep, she heard a knock. She smiled contentedly. Hadn't she been right? Then she crushed out her cigarette and called out "Just a minute. I'm washing my hair." She found a towel and wound it around her head, turban-fashion, then went slowly to the door. "Who is it?" she called.
The voice was muffled, but unmistakably Tom's. "Me," he said just as he had the night before.
Judy pretended to be puzzled, repeating "Me? Who is me?" Before he could answer she put the chain lock on the door, then opened it, peeking out, a look of surprise spread across her face her voice was filled with astonishment, "Tom! What's the matter now?"
Tom glanced at her and then looked down at his shoes, his face a mask of misery. "I've got to talk to you, Judy," he said.
Once again Judy pretended to be surprised and puzzled. "Okay," she said, taking the chain off and opening the door. "Sure. Come in."
She walked across the room, rubbing at the towel turban as if she were drying her hair as Tom stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "I'll just stay a minute," he said.
Judy smiled at him. "Wasn't that what you said last night?" she chided.
Tom looked at the floor again, studying the wings on his brown suede shoes. "Ah, Judy," he said miserably.
"Wait here until I get something on," she said. "You can talk to me through the door, though. Anyway, sit down." She waved him to a chair and retreated to the bedroom, leaving the door ajar. Once in the room, she grinned at herself in the mirror. This was going to be fun, she thought. Wait until Tom saw her!
In the other room, Tom fidgeted and squirmed. At last he got up and started pacing the room. "Judy," he called, "can you hear me?"
"Of course I can," she said. "Where on earth did you think I'd gone to? Timbuktu?"
Tom ignored the question, pacing back and forth like a caged lion, still looking at the floor, but waving his arms in agitation now. "I wanted to talk to you about last night," he said.
"I'm so damned sorry, Judy. So damned sorry! Honestly, I don't know what got into me.
I've never done anything like that before. Never! Not in my whole life! I don't know what you must think of me!" His voice said very clearly, though, that he did.
He paused in his pacing, looking out a window, waiting for her to agree with him, waiting for her to say something. He stood, waiting, but there was only silence. And then he started pacing back and forth again. "I don't know how to make it up to you," he said miserably.
Judy waited a moment, then called, "Have you had dinner, Tom?"
He stopped pacing and looked at the door. My God! What was the matter with this woman? Had she heard him correctly? There he was, tortured, conscience-stricken, almost overcome by his guilt. Apologizing! Yes, practically begging her for forgiveness!
And she was asking sweetly if he had had dinner. He shook his head in bewilderment and then, for lack of anything else to say, admitted "I had a hamburger and a Coke."
"There's some Scotch in the kitchen," she called. "Help yourself if you want some. I'll be out in a minute."
"I don't want anything to drink," Tom said, starting to pace again, "That's what I did last night and look what happened.
"What happened?" Judy asked in a low sultry voice.
Tom whirled around, surprised to hear her voice so near. How had she managed to come in so quietly. He glanced at her briefly, swallowed hard, and turned to stare. My God! She was naked.
Oh, no she wasn't. She was worse than naked. She stood by the door, one hand on her nude hip, smiling lewdly - stood there in high-heeled black pumps, long black stockings that only accentuated all the soft lines and curves of her legs and thighs. She wore nothing else but the tight black garter belt cinched low around her waist.
Tom swallowed again, his eyes popping almost out of his head as she put her hands on her hips, elbows out, and sauntered slowly toward him in a lewdly teasing way. Her full ripe breasts were thrust out, swaying gently with each step she took as she slowly walked around him. She ran her moist pink tongue lightly over her lips, "What's the matter?" she whispered, "Cat got your tongue?"
Tom stood stupefied, unable to move, unable even to close his slack, wide-open mouth.
Judy began to circle him, moving with the sensual grace of a young tigress, her hips swaying languidly, the smooth half-moons undulating provocatively. "Is something bothering you?" she asked him, her voice all innocence.
All Tom could do was to shake his head in disbelief. His loins had begun to ache with the beginning of his sensual excitement and he felt himself blush with embarrassment at the knowledge that Judy would surely notice. He looked at her face, caught her quick downward glance at his trousers, the slight grin that flicked across her face at his discomfiture, before she suggestively bit at her ruby red tongue.
Then Judy gasped a little, thrilled at her own brazenness. Her mind shot back to Doug, to her excitement then and to his, too. She wanted to relive the moments with him, but in reality now, not in the fantasy world of her dreams. She wanted to do whatever had pleased him, be seductive for Tom and by being seductive for him, to be seductive for her brother as well. Casually, she cupped her breasts with her hands and swayed once more in front of her now thoroughly shocked fellow teacher. "I guess I'll just have to tell you what to say and do," she pouted, knowing she could make Tom behave like her brother had, and give her the perverted kinds of pleasure she longed for.
She switched on the stereo and a record fell into place. "Music, Maestro, please!" she said, snapping her fingers just as Doug had done that night, and once again the room was filled with the sounds of sighing strings and singing woodwinds. To Judy's excited mind it was the most sensuous music in the world and it carried her back to the moments she had shared with her brother and young cousin. She would have just such a moment again, she knew, and if Tom wasn't Doug �_" not really Doug �_" he would do for the moment. "Come on," she said huskily, and led him into the bedroom where she had already drawn the blinds in anticipation of this, and turned off all but one soft light on the bedside table. "I'll just have to tell you what to say and do," she repeated. "But maybe," she said, her voice becoming throatier and again indescribably sexy, "maybe there isn't anything to say right now."
She turned to him, pulling him close and began to unbutton his shirt while he stood before her too shocked to protest. She slid it from his shoulders and let it fall to the ground, then unbuckled his belt, and as casually as if she were removing her own watch band, unsnapped his trousers, slid her hand beneath them and eased them down over his lean hips.
Tom stared at her, unable to speak, almost unable to think. He had come here covered with shame, ridden with guilt, thinking he had seduced Judy the night before and that she would now reject him for it. She would hate him, he had told himself while driving over, and yet he had known he had to come here and apologize for his animalistic behavior. But it wasn't that at all! Good Christ! It wasn't that way at all! She had been desperate for a man �_" a doubt flickered through his mind; was it Doug she had really wanted, rather than him? �_" and she had deliberately encouraged his advances. And now it was she �_" it was Judy �_" who was making the advances herself! He groaned aloud as he felt her soft white hand slip beneath his cotton shorts and begin to caress him slowly, gently, and God, so excitingly.
He trembled as she drew her hands then across his bare chest, as she plucked tenderly at his small male nipples. And he caught his breath as she kissed him, her tongue licking at his lips and whispered, "Did you have a good time last night?"
He could only nod in answer. How could he tell her what it had been like for him? The fulfillment of all his dreams, the embodiment of all his sexual fantasies. He had never know it could actually be like that to be with a woman. And now he knew that he need not even feel guilty about it, as he had so often in the past when he had enjoyed a sexual encounter with a woman. She had enjoyed it as much as he had, she had thrilled to it, had given herself to him with the wildest abandon! He trembled at the very idea of it, the very wonder of it all.
Now Judy eased his shorts off as she had his trousers and she stood close to him, her breasts enticingly close to his chest, teasing him with their nearness. "I thought it was good last night, too," she whispered in his ear, running her tongue around his ear, too.
"But that was only an introductory offer... isn't that what they call it?" she closed her eyes dreamily. "Would you like the real thing?"
"Oh, Christ!" Tom exploded, suddenly seizing her in his arms and locking his mouth to hers. He ground his hips against hers, crushing her to him until the tips of her breasts bored into his chest like hard little buttons. And then he pulled her brutally across the room to the bed and shoved her down onto it. A moment later he crashed on top of her, breathing hard, his face contorted with aroused passion. She opened herself willingly to him and felt him, strong and excited, pressing against her there.
"I'll show you!" he roared as he reached out with one hand, letting it glide with a tantalizing lightness over the soft smooth flesh of her breasts, down along the smooth curves of her belly until it stopped just above the tiny, softly curling triangle between her legs. Judy sighed with lewd pleasure and then smiled up at him lasciviously. "Let me do something first," she whispered to him.
"What?"
"What I did last night."
"Oh, God, Judy," he moaned, "You did every damned thing last night."
"I want to do every damned thing again tonight," she said, tangling her hands in his thick hair and trying to pull his body up toward her face. She opened her mouth suggestively, ovalling her red lips invitingly.
But Tom struggled free of her grasp. "My turn tonight," he panted, "and you'll never forget this, honey. Never in your life!"
He began to arch his hips back over her, thrusting forward lightly at first, while she began to move beneath him, arching toward him, pressing her lovely young body up against him, her legs open in lewd invitation. He moved back and forth, rocking over her, and then she felt him, hard and passionate, as he sought the throbbing, aching portal to her body. With a groan of pure animal lust, he moved forward once more, taking her now, sinking into the depths of her softly trembling belly.
Judy screamed at the flash of pain that ripped through her and then sank back sighing, welcoming him. "Oh, yes," she whispered seductively. "Do anything you want to me.
Anything at all. And then I'll do it to you!"
Tom could only groan in answer and hold her tight as they locked mouths wetly together.
His tongue shot out to flick between her moist red lips, whirling around inside the hungrily absorbing little cavern as he labored deep inside her again, withdrew swept in again. In his furious passion he slammed her back against the mattress, flattening her cream-white body down against it while he held her so tightly that the soft, resilient mounds on her chest were crushed to his, pressing hard into his flesh. He surged deeper and deeper, lost in his wildly abandoned passion, while his excitement grew to heights he had never known possible, heights that outdid even those of the night before. And then with a low groan he pulled back, pulled out and away from her warmly clasping wetness and fell back on the bed beside her while Judy took his warm throbbing flesh in her soft white hand.
Quickly, with agility, she slid down the bed under him until his loins were poised directly over her, and then she opened her lips eagerly to close them again around him. As she worked beneath him, a new emotion, hot and musky, ran through her body. She thought of how he had been inside her another way only seconds before and the forbidden excitement gripped her trembling body.
Still beneath him, her lips still fastened lovingly around him, she rocked back and forth until she had rolled him over to the side of the bed, then rolled over herself and swung around to slip off to the floor and kneel on the rug before him. The sight of her, still clad in the black stockings, her high heels, and lacy garter belt, was unbearably exciting to Tom.
Judy, riding on waves of passion, let her own hands glide over her body, trailing along the soft inner flesh of her thighs until they reached their moist, softly glistening goal. In her desperate need to feel herself filled again as she had just been, she began to stroke and caress herself, until she could stand the tingling teasing no longer. With a low, obscene little cry she opened herself farther apart, while Tom watched in lewdly rising fascination.
Her softly working mouth still swirling warmly around him, she once more reached her hands up to wrap them around his strong athletic body and to pull him forward until he too was on the floor beside her. Once again she maneuvered his unresisting body, sliding sinuously around until somehow, Tom never knew just how she accomplished it, she had pulled him over upside down on top of her. He watched, still fascinated as her voluptuously curved hips began to undulate, to gyrate, moving upward, nearer and nearer to his disbelieving eyes.
Then, with a sudden uncontrollable motion, he wrapped his own arms around her thin, voluptuously curving waist and pulled her loins up even closer to his face. And then his tongue shot out to probe deep, sending hot flames of crazily spiraling passion leaping through her body.
An immense shudder of delight shocked Judy's nakedness, and then the wildly building flames of passion seemed to consume her. She moaned from time to time, gasping out Tom's name, and then began to work her hips desperately around to feed the lewd, hungrily demanding sensation of her desire.
There was a long, long moment when it seemed that the world stood still, that nothing existed except this marvelous feeling and then there was another moment, equally as long, when it seemed that time had stopped. As the world started again, began to move, as life commenced once more Judy tasted the same strange, warmly flowing masculinity she had felt the day before. But this time there was a greater flood of it, filling the cavern of her mouth while she struggled desperately and happily to absorb it deep up inside her.
At the same moment her own womanly secretions flowed forth, and she tensed her body for the ultimate pleasure of her climax. The wonderful moment came, shaking her with its intensity, and then at last she relaxed with a sigh of the utmost satisfaction and lay heavily back, rolling limply over to stretch out in an attitude of utter exhaustion on the bedroom floor.
Her body was gleaming with tiny droplets of perspiration that their strenuous embraces had generated, and she stared upward dizzily at the familiar ceiling until beside her Tom finally gasped, "I... I've never done that to a woman before!"
His admission gave her a perverted pleasure. The old image of a woman defiled by a man which had been part of her upbringing, as well as that of all her friends, was disappearing.
It was she who was bringing new thrills, new sensations, to Tom. It was she who was introducing him to perverted acts which he would never had dared to attempt without her overt encouragement. He had been the child, the innocent, and she was initiating him into forbidden pleasures he had scarcely dreamed of. The idea gave her an intense satisfaction, one even greater than the naked physical satisfaction she had just experienced. And through her mind flashed the idea that it should have been like this with Doug. She should have been the one to introduce her brother to these joys of the flesh.
With a moment's bitterness she though how unfair it was that she should have to let Tom substitute for her own dear flesh and blood.
But the bitterness quickly passed, and Judy slowly got to her feet and then helped Tom up. He stood weaving back and forth a moment, and then flopped wearily to the bed. She kissed him softly on the mouth and whispered, "I'll be back."
Tom lay stretched out, his arms limp and lifeless, his legs dangling, not thinking of anything, not caring as he listened to the strains of the soft seductive music that drifted in from the adjoining room. He closed his eyes, dreaming a little, and when he opened them Judy was standing ever him, nudging him gently, offering him another drink of Scotch from the bottle she held in her hand. He took it eagerly, held it up in a brief silent toast, and then, grinning at first, gulped at it.
Judy stood by the bed, sipping her drink. "Did you like that?" she asked.
Tom nodded and grinned up at her, looking at her lovely body and feeling the same excitement surge through him again. It seemed that he could never get enough of this new Judy, this sensuous woman who delighted him in ways he had never dared to dream of before.
Judy smiled back. "How would you like to take some pictures of me?" she asked, flicking her tongue out, snake-like.
Tom's eyes widened. "W... What kind?" he asked.
"You know. Like in some of those magazines and things. You know. Without any clothes on," Judy said. She sat down and relaxed her legs open in the most provocative position he could imagine.
"Like this," she whispered huskily.
Tom's eyes glinted their approval. "You mean it?" he asked.
"Of course I mean it," she watched his face carefully, judging his reaction from it.
Tom groaned and then sucked in his breath. The very thought of having photos of this lovely girl, her voluptuous body naked and arranged in some such lascivious pose was enough to send the shivers of lewd delight quivering through him once more. "I'll pose for you," Judy said softly, "I'll pose just like this!"
"Oh, my God! Like that!"
"Yes! Or this, if you prefer!" She twisted around throwing out one hip, turning so that he saw the lovely line of her thigh and then the swell of her buttock. She shifted slightly, spreading her legs again, and Tom watched, his breath coming faster now as she showed everything.
"Oh, my God!" Tom said hoarsely, letting out a low lewd whistle. And then he called, "Come here, damn it!"
She went toward him slowly, moving gracefully yet more sensually than he could have imagined possible. He seized her by the shoulders, his steel-hard fingers digging into the soft flesh, lowering his head and locking his mouth over her soft moist lips. "Yes," he managed to mutter, "I think I'd like to take those pictures."
She struggled free, throwing her head back, her eyes laughing up into his. "Oh, would you?" she asked lightly, "Well, later on... but for right now... " her voice trailed off and then she sighed and took his two hands in hers, gliding them down to the soft white flesh of her firmly curved hips. He ran them over the two, warmly trembling cheeks, barely touching the surface in a tantalizing, teasing stroke. "Mmmmm... " she murmured sensuously, "I know �_" do it to me from behind!"
She broke away from him and moved toward the bed, then let herself down on it with the ease, the grace of a light-footed gazelle, dropping to her hands and knees in a provocative kneeling position and turning to look back over her shoulder at Tom. "Like this," she breathed, "Have you ever done it like this?"
"Jesus!" No, he never had done it to a girl this way, Tom thought. Before he and Judy had always made love in the more conventional positions -before last night, that was. And yet she was so irresistible... he dropped to his knees on the bed behind her and drew his hands slowly over her quivering buttocks one more time.
Judy felt a rush of cool air between her legs as she stretched them apart. She groaned ecstatically and jerked her body forward as she felt the smooth hard tip of him touch her sensitive flesh and then suddenly slither itself up deep inside her, sending a sharp pang of entry through her. Her body contracted briefly to accept him more easily and then relaxed as he plunged in deep from behind.
"Spread your legs wider," he growled, his voice harsh with passion, his breathing hard.
"Spread your legs."
She twisted her body on the bed, opening to him as far as possible and then she felt Tom clasp her thighs as he lunged rhythmically into her. He began to chant in a lewd sing-song voice, "Sure I want pictures... I want pictures... I want pictures... " until Judy thought he was bereft of his senses.
Still chanting he drew her hips still tighter and she felt his pulsating loins pressed against her from behind, his body hard as steel. She thrilled to his smooth, rhythmic movements.
They became deeper, his speed quickened, and she heard Tom's groans as his excitement reached the limit of his endurance and he could no longer hold back. She felt the hot flooding warmth of his male passion flowing into her and welcomed them while at the same magical moment she felt her own body tense in a wild, ecstatic response.
"Doug," she called out, "Oh, God! Doug! There!... There!" as she matched Tom's climax with her own convulsively bursting desire. And then she felt his body falling heavily on her naked back, going limp, sliding off, and remaining perfectly still except for his rhythmically heaving chest as he lay satisfied beside her.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Judy had no idea what time it was, no more than Tom had. She seemed inexhaustible, aroused again and again and arousing Tom as well. But at last the two were satiated, and they lay back for a long time, smoking and drinking and resting. She moved close to him, her long smooth body pressed against his strong, athletic one. His nearness gave her a sense of pleasure that lingered, and she smiled contentedly as she ran her hands down across his hips and thighs. It was good with him, very good, she thought, and then she was startled to hear him ask, with a twinge of jealousy in his voice, "Listen, just who is this Doug?"
She started, almost imperceptibly, tensing as she said casually, "Oh, just someone I met."
"Where?"
"Wisconsin."
"When?"
"Last summer. When I was out there on vacation."
"I knew it! I knew something had happened out there." He turned over, reached out and found a pack of cigarettes, lit two and handed one to Judy. "Are you in love with him?" he asked bluntly.
The question sent a shock of fear through Judy. Was she? Could she be in love with her own brother? She shook her head, denying it to herself as well as to Tom. "No," she said, slapping his arm lightly. "Of course not."
Tom said nothing for a long time. He lay back, puffing on his cigarette, blowing smoke rings at the ceiling. "Then why do you call his name when I'm making love to you?" he asked, his voice plaintive, hurt.
Judy's body tensed. Had she? And if so, why had she done that? "Oh, no, I couldn't have," she said, patting Tom's arm.
"You did! Don't tell me you couldn't have because I heard you!"
"No!"
"Yes!" Tom sucked on his cigarette, inhaled the smoke deep into his lungs, then let it out slowly. "You're in love with this guy," he said.
Judy ran a finger along his cheek and along his jawbone. "If I were, would I do... " she hesitated, "do... these things with you?"
Tom thought that over, little furrows of worry lining his forehead. It made sense, he had to admit it. But, goddamnit! He couldn't help feeling jealous. He turned to stare at the ceiling.
"Maybe you would," he mumbled stubbornly.
Judy felt somewhat relieved. "Oh, you're just being jealous and silly," she chided.
Tom took a deep breath, then suddenly swung his legs around and planted his feet firmly on the floor. He pulled himself upright, then strode across the room, drawing aside the curtain, rolling up the window shade just an inch or so. He could see nothing, and yet he kept standing there, not wanting Judy to see his face, drawn with the pain he felt.
Goddamnit! Why did she have to act like this? And why the hell couldn't he resist her?
He heard her soft, dulcet tones calling seductively, "Come back, darling," and he remembered the story of the Lorelei, the siren whose singing as she sunned herself on a rock in the river Rhine lured sailors to their deaths. Oh, Christ! Wasn't Judy maybe doing that to him!
Something was wrong with her. Something was wrong with him. Something was wrong with the whole damned world! And when Judy called out once more, "Come back!" he clenched his teeth.
"Not now," he said firmly, pulling the window shade aside and staring out into the darkness of the night.
"Oh, Tom," she said, her voice softer and more seductive than ever, "Come back now. We can have more fun together. I mean there are lots of other things... "
Tom whirled around in sudden fury. "The same things you did with that guy named Doug?" he asked bitterly.
Judy shuddered, turning pale. And then she let her legs spread wide and ran her hand over her breasts in the most suggestive way possible.
Tom moved toward the bed, his fists clenched, his face contorted with anger. "Did you?"
he asked. "Did you?"
"Did I what?" Judy asked languidly.
"Did you ever do the things with Doug... the things... you did... the things we did?" He stood above her, staring contemptuously down into her face.
Judy looked up at him, her eyes wide and almost innocent. "Some," she admitted hesitantly, "Sometimes, Tom!"
"Christ! You're nothing but a goddamn little whore!"
"Don't say that, Tom."
"You are!"
She turned away, watching him out of the corner of her eye. She saw his fist clenching and unclenching, his tensed shoulders. "Tom," she called quietly. "Tom!"
He turned to see her swinging her hips back and forth, as she sat on the edge of the bed, swaying gently from side to side. She let her legs gape open, looked down at the "vee" between them displayed so brazenly to him. "We could take the mirror off the wall," she said with a plaintive, innocent charm. "I've never done that before."
"Why would we want to take the mirror off the wall?" Tom asked.
"So we could watch ourselves in it while we're doing it."
"Why should we want to see ourselves... " he began. And then he understood exactly what she was talking about. "Oh, my God, Judy," he exclaimed.
"Well, why not?"
"Because it's lewd, that's why. Because it's lewd and wrong and evil. Because... oh, the hell with it!"
Judy looked at him from beneath half-closed eyelids. "Get the mirror!" she said softly.
And Tom shrugged. "Okay," he said.
He went to the wall and lifted the mirror off it, then propped it at an angle where it reflected the bed. He was excited by this new idea of Judy's, as excited as he had ever been, he might as well admit it to himself. He stood before the looking-glass and saw his own lithe naked body reflected faithfully in it. Oh, dear God! What would come next, he wondered.
And yet he knew he could not resist this time. He was drunk, he told himself. He'd been upset the night before and now he was drunk again and he couldn't help himself. And so he would do whatever she asked tonight. Tomorrow, though, would be different. He had to get his sanity back!
As he padded bare-footed across the room to lift the mirror off the wall, his arms bulged and Judy watched, fascinated.
I'm as strong as Doug, Tom told himself. Whoever the hell he is, I bet I'm ten times as strong as he is, and Judy is going to find out that I'm ten times as good, too! This time, he decided she was going to scream HIS name as she reached her climax. He could make her do it, and he would!
But as he placed the mirror by the bed, he felt guilty about it. This was somehow sordid.
Wasn't this what went on in brothels? His mouth twitched with erotic excitement. My God!
He'd never been to a brothel, and only in his wildest fancies even thought of one, and that had been after he'd seen a movie about one in New Orleans. But what went on in that one was nothing compared to what was going on right here in Judy's apartment tonight.
He looked at her face, saw the slight smile playing about her pretty lips. She was challenging him, he thought, making him prove he was as good as the mysterious Doug had been. Well, he would show her, by God. He was twice the man that the other one was �_" five times �_" ten times! He would show her, and she would writhe and twist and thrash beneath him before she screamed out his name, Tom! Tom!, in her ecstatic sexual abandon.
Judy smiled again, then lay down on the bed, staring at her image in the mirror, nude except for the garter belt and stockings. Provocatively she rolled her hips and murmured, "Oh, that's so exciting!"
Tom now dropped to the bed, his body above hers, their hips touching, their stomachs pressing tightly together. He ached, already, with his male eagerness as he sought the center of her warm sensuous passion. As he found it he took her with a swift sudden fury, and felt the velvety smooth desire of her clasp hungrily around him, drawing him in deeper and deeper into the paradise of her love. They began to move together now, in a slow sensual rocking motion that was repeated for them to see in the mirror by the bed. "Let's do this all the time," Tom whispered in her ear, his voice thick with emotion.
Judy's arms snaked around his back and she pulled his head closer, her tongue darting out to lick teasingly at his ear. "Anything you want," she promised throatily, "anything you want."
Completely mad with passion now Tom laboured above her like a mad man. He cared about nothing but the erotic sensation of the moment, the increasing tempo and tensions of their beautiful, uninhibited behavior. He would go on and on, building nearer and nearer to a climax until she begged him for mercy. And still he would go on while he watched her beneath him, watched them both in the mirror. He would see her face contorted with a passion she had never felt before until finally it would become unbearable for her and she would moan and writhe and then scream out his name. His name! Not another man's. But his name. And then he would know that he had possessed her as no man ever had before and as no other man ever would again.
They rocked back and forth, faster and faster, in a wonderfully building crescendo of physical love and sensuality. Surging deep into her warm soft wetness, he lifted her tensely grasping body off the bed, slammed it back, lifted it again. Beneath him she rolled her eyes in ecstasy, ground her hips into the mattress, rolled and rose to meet his strength, fell back again, rose. She began to moan at the same time, low at first, and then her voice grew louder in a wild strange keening. At last it rose to a near scream and she closed her eyes, her body tense and convulsing spasmodically as she reached her climax, with his name on her lips this time! "Tom!" she screamed, "Oh, my God! Tom! Tom! Tom!"
Above her, Tom felt a swelling sense of triumph as he looked at her helplessly quivering body in the mirror. And he moved deep again, spilling forth now, filling her with the warm, liquid essence of his passion.
Judy clung to him, her eyes closed, and yet still, in spite of her fulfillment, she silently pretended that he was Doug.
CHAPTER EIGHT
There were still moments in Judy Paley's life when she questioned what was happening to her, worried even about this new depraved way of living she had drifted into. And yet she was powerless to stop the drift toward even further degradation. A day of reckoning would inevitably come, she sensed that full well. Yet that day seemed far off. For the time being she enjoyed to the utmost the excitement of the evil power she was exercising over Tom.
She would mold him, form him to her way of liking, and he would do her bidding. Tom would become her partner in evil.
She had never before felt so curiously alive, so sure of herself. And yet she managed to preserve her outward appearance of respectability, to continue to appear as the modest young lady teacher. If people noticed that she was seeing more of Tom than ever before, they ascribed it to the best and most natural of motives. Judy was delighted one day at lunch in the faculty dining room when one of the other teachers leaned across the table to gently tease, "It looks as if we've got a little love-match on our hands." She even managed to blush prettily, as if this were her first romance.
But when Tom's birthday came around, she bought him an expensive Polaroid camera.
He showed it off at school, taking pictures of the other teachers, and especially of the young boys he was coaching in baseball and track. Most of the time, though, he left it at Judy's apartment and, at her insistence, took one shot after another of her in the most lewdly suggestive and lascivious poses possible.
Even that, though, failed to satisfy her. Nothing would do but that the two of them pose together. They began to experiment with the time stop on the camera and to set it for delayed exposure before they moved into a pornographic pose, holding the position until the shutter had snapped. Then they would draw out the lewd photograph and revel in the sight of themselves nakedly entwined together.
As time went by, Tom paid more and more attention to Judy while she urged him on to more and more excesses. Whenever she thought he might be losing interest, she would find some new and even more wicked way to excite him. They went to drive-in movies and partially stripped themselves, then lay on the back seat of the car, their bodies joined as they watched Lassie up on the screen. At other times Judy would insist that they drive through the main streets of the town, Tom at the wheel of the Mustang while she crouched on the floor beside him, caressing his warm maleness and then using her softly ovalled lips against his eager flesh until he exploded in his ecstasy.
Tom was thoroughly bewildered by what was happening to him. It had seemed like a long time ago that he had once been engaged to a girl named Helen. He thought of how pretty she was, and how sensible; the kind of girl a guy would want to settle down with and raise a family. Then everything had changed. Judy Paley had re-entered his life, and under her corrupting influence had come feelings that he had repressed before �_" feelings that stirred wild animalistic impulses in him that he had never before suspected that he had.
Most of their time together, he realized, had been spent in bed making love. Or, to be more realistic about it, not "making love" so much as merely having sex together. It seemed there wasn't anything that Judy was incapable of... Judy, who looked so much like the typical American nice girl, wholesome and modest, and who behaved with such utmost propriety in front of other people that Tom had even heard her called a "Square."
No, there was nothing she wouldn't do!
She had led him to do things he had never dreamed of doing, many of which he never even realized a man and woman could do! She dominated him, knowing his weakness for sensuality and playing cleverly on it. And he had to admit he loved it, loved the way she enticed him into lewder and more lascivious behavior with each passing night. God! She had even hinted that he show some of the obscene pictures he had taken of her �_" those photos of her naked and in the most suggestive of poses �_" that he show them to his friends! Looking at him demurely as she sat up, naked again, in bed, she had actually suggested that, and then added, "I'd be powerless to stop you if you wanted to."
She had been right, he had reflected. And yet he knew that it was he who was really powerless in this relationship. It was Judy who called the shots, who made the decisions as to where they would go, when they would be seen in public, what they would do when they were alone, either at his place or here in her apartment. And it was always Judy who with eyes burning in eagerness, suggested the next wildly uninhibited thing they would do.
There had been times when he was ready to give her up, times when he had decided Judy was definitely mentally ill, irrational, that her only interest in him was as a playmate she could experiment on. But at those times Judy invariably suggested something new, something to revive his flagging interest. Just as invariably, he was shocked at first, conscience-stricken at the idea of performing still another act foreign to all the ideas of decency with which he had been brought up. And yet he had always acquiesced and like a well-trained animal, been duly rewarded with new thrills, even greater excitement.
He was like a puppet on a string, controlled completely by Judy, he thought as he lay beside her in bed one night. She no longer excited him, and he was on the point of telling her that he had finally had enough of her erotic excesses, and that he considered her sick, sick, SICK! He would tell her too that the time had come for her to see a doctor; a "shrink," a "wig-picker!" As he turned that idea over in his mind, he lay back staring stonily at the ceiling. Judy, cuddling naked beside him, lightly ran her fingers in rapidly growing circles over his belly and suddenly asked, "Have you ever made it with more than one person?"
In spite of himself, Tom felt a familiar thrill of excitement. "Huh?" he asked, feeling stupid.
Judy smirked. "Have you ever made it with more than one person?" she repeated.
Tom sucked in his breath, then let it out slowly while he searched for words. His excitement was growing under her skillful touch, and he sucked in his breath again. Then he said, "I don't know what you mean."
"Oh, yes, you do," Judy answered, moving closer to him. "Ever had two women at once?"
The two of them lay there in the dark, Tom hardly breathing as his excitement mounted still further. Thinking about what she had said, he decided to reverse the question. "Have you ever?"
"I asked you."
"Well, why?" he asked.
"Would you like to?"
"Why do you ask?" he countered, his mind racing.
Judy rolled over, throwing her leg across his body. "Wouldn't you like to do it? Two of us at the same time? We'd do anything you'd like. I'd do absolutely anything you'd want me to."
Once again her lewd suggestion drove him almost out of his mind. His arms slid around her and he crushed her to him, his hands edging down her sides, groping across her hips and rolling her over until he lay on top of her. Spreading her beneath him, he took her quickly and easily and then flailed furiously in and out, his body bucking and thrashing above hers until the old delight crashed through him. Judy, equally excited, moved against him until her moment came, too. She again cried out his name and then lay back, exhausted, too. A moment later, as she teased him with her hands again, she asked, "Well, would you like to do what I said?"
Without thinking, without knowing why he did so, he agreed. The next evening, a Saturday night, they drove to a small nearby town. At Judy's suggestion they spent the evening in a couple of bars down near the docks, drinking and talking to the people who wandered in and out, until they found a girl.
She was young and blonde, and pretty in the hardened way that was typical of most prostitutes. Tom paid her twenty dollars and they drove back to his apartment, his excitement growing almost uncontrollably as he watched the two girls sitting beside him in the car and fondling one anther.
Once inside his apartment, they quickly stripped off their clothes and then began to whirl around the room in a lewd, naked dance while he sipped at the Scotch he had poured himself, and watched. The dance continued with the two women locked in a close, unnatural embrace, their hips grinding against one another's until at last, trembling with forbidden excitement, they broke apart. The blonde girl then turned to Tom, her arms open, beckoning him to her.
Judy slumped on the couch, her bare shoulders brushing the back of it. With a wave of her hand she said, "Go ahead, I'd like to watch first while you two do it. Go ahead if that's all right."
Tom then stripped off his clothes and pulled the girl down beside him on the living room floor. He felt wild and wanton as he made love to her, and felt even more lewd later on when he lay beside Judy on the couch, enjoying her voluptuous body, too, while the prostitute watched the couple take their pleasure.
They went into the bedroom then, and it was Tom's turn to stare in disbelief, mouth agape, as Judy and the prostitute lay together on the bed, stroking one another lewdly until the girl slid down Judy's beautifully curved body and began to make lesbian love to her.
Shocked and horrified though he was at such perversion, Tom stood watching as if mesmerized, his emotions vacillating between the deepest disgust and overwhelming desire. But when the girl slithered the length of Judy's body once more, to lie on top of her, grinding her hips down against Judy's, he could hold himself back no longer. Dashing forward, he flung himself on the two of them, taking them alternately, one after the other.
Later, though, it was only horror and disgust that began to haunt Tom's every waking hour when he thought of this wild, pagan-like orgy. He knew that he had to get away from Judy.
In the months they had been going together he had lost weight, had lost sleep, and was eventually losing his desire. She was mad, he told himself. Completely mad. And she was driving him toward madness, too.
Finally he took a few days off from school, and went away alone, driving north toward Monterey. He found a small hotel there, took a room, and settled himself down to think.
Sometimes he walked along the beach, a solitary and almost pathetic figure, trying to make up his mind about this devil-woman. She had one thing, and one thing only on her mind, he thought miserably. And that was sex. Sex �_" no matter how bizarre, how perverted. Yet she showed no more genuine emotion than a machine, she was merely insatiable. Tom had watched her face in amazement as she permitted and even encouraged the prostitute to perform those obscene acts with her, and he had seen that she had loved it. Could he ever marry a girl like that? Could he continue a relationship with her? Where could they go from here? Where would it all end?
One of his questions was answered for him a few days after he went back to school.
Seeing him enter the faculty dining room, the dean of the school followed him in, nodding at the empty chair opposite him. "Mind if I join you, Tom?" he asked.
Tom shook his head. "Be my guest!"
Dr. Lester sat down and began toying with the fresh roll on his butter plate, breaking off bits of the bread, crumbling them in his fingers. "The team looks good this year," he said.
"That's what I've been thinking," Tom said.
"I think you may have a winner there, boy. A real winner!"
Tom smiled gratefully. "They're a fine bunch of kids," he said.
Dr. Lester crumbled another morsel of bread between his fingers and cleared his throat.
"How are you and Miss Paley �_" Judy �_" getting on?" he asked.
Tom looked warily at the older man, "Just fine," he said after a pause.
"You've been seeing a lot of each other lately, haven't you?"
"Yes. Yes, we have," Tom said, setting his coffee cup down.
Lester broke off another piece of bread, buttered this one and popped it into his mouth.
"I've been wondering just what your plans are," he said smoothly.
"Plans?" Tom asked, trying to keep his voice calm and reasonable.
"Yes, your plans," the older man repeated, gently prodding him.
A chill passed over Tom and his heart sank to his boots. It must feel like this, he thought crazily, to hear yourself sentenced to hard labor for the rest of your life. "Oh, yeah," he said, "Plans."
Letting him know he understood his reluctance to talk about it, Lester gave him an inscrutable smile. "I can remember when I got married," he said. "No one believed I'd live through it, not even me." He went on, growing expansive now, "I was a young instructor here then, and I can remember the dean talking to me. Know what he said?"
Tom shook his head. "No," he said, trying desperately to swallow a mouthful of food.
"He never mentioned marriage. He talked about the school, its history, its past, what it has stood for over the years. What it stood for right then. We were and still are molding character and instilling ideals in young boys �_" boys who are at a very impressionable age. It behooves us, since we have such a responsibility, to be above reproach ourselves."
Tom nodded, smiling foolishly, feeling weak, and wondering if the dean noticed the slight trembling of his hands.
"I think you understand me," the dean said, patting Tom on the arm, "I think we understand each other."
Tom nodded once more, and then the dean pushed his chair back, excusing himself.
"Almost forgot," he said, "I have an appointment with one of the parents in a few minutes."
He got up, slapping Tom on the back. "That's quite a girl you've got yourself," he said.
"Quite a girl. I had a long talk with her over the weekend, and she is quite a girl." And he left Tom sitting there with the taste of ashes in his mouth.
He and Judy were married a month later, in a simple ceremony performed by a Justice of the Peace. Tom's hands shook as he slipped the ring on her finger, and one of the witnesses cried a little, but the bride smiled happily all through the brief ritual. That night the young couple called her parents, delighting them although not surprising them. And they in turn were delighted when Mr. and Mrs. Paley made plans to fly to California to meet their new "son".
They found an apartment suitable for the two of them and moved into it, spending most of Tom's savings on the furniture. They spent their evenings, after dinner, planning for the future and to Tom's amazement, Judy seemed to have changed again. She was prim and proper now, and almost submissive. "I'm glad we did all those things," she said to him once, "I'm glad we got them out of our system. Now I'll know that when my man is out at night he's not cheating on me."
Tom laughed. "Maybe!"
Judy nudged him playfully. "Listen, you can't say there is anything you haven't tried. You want to cheat, you come to me."
"The family that cheats together, stays together, right?"
"Right."
Tom's life took on a completely new dimension. He had misjudged Judy, he decided, telling himself that he couldn't have asked for a better wife. She bustled about the apartment, cleaning and rearranging their new furniture, keeping the place both spotless and attractive, adding the distinctive "woman's touch" of bright flowers on the coffee table, ashtrays at hand, magazines and books within Tom's reach. She was a fabulous cook, too, Tom thought, licking his lips at the memory of her strawberry mousse or her chocolate rum pie. She was as responsive as ever sexually, although by no means as demanding as before, something for which he was indeed grateful.
And Judy seemed happy. She was as bright and cheerful as the carnations and daffodils that filled the crystal bowls they had been given as wedding presents. She charmed Dean Lester with her wit, making Tom immensely proud. She smiled contentedly at home, and Tom could relax in his chair by the fire at night and congratulate himself, after all, on having married her.
And Judy was happy, but not because of what Tom assumed to be his own charm, his own rugged masculinity, his strength of character. She was happy, instead, because he was weak and vacillating, unaggressive and, although he would never have dreamed it, almost completely dependent on her by now.
She had had no wish to marry a strong man; she wanted one she could manipulate. And Tom was almost laughingly easy to manipulate. He would let her do things her way, take what she wanted. And what she wanted, passionately, she had finally concluded, were young boys. Young boys like her brother, Doug, had been.
She knew the way to get them was to pretend the same interest in Tom's work that he himself showed. They spent evenings talking about the problems it presented, and one night Judy asked casually. "Why don't you have some of them over?"
"Huh? What do you mean?"
"Why don't you have some of them over, for dinner, or to watch a ball game on TV or just for a rap session? I could make up some sandwiches and some kind of fruit punch, and you could get to know the kids and they could get to know you."
"Oh! You're talking about the kids!"
"Of course I'm talking about the kids," Judy said, "Why don't you invite them over so they can see you're not just Mr. Packard the gym teacher, but Tom, who has a wife and home."
"Tom?" he said grinning, "Sounds more like Mr. Chips to me."
"Oh, Tom," Judy said, bursting out laughing.
He became serious again. "You know," he said, "I think it's a great idea. I mean I think it's really great. We could have some sort of open house, you know."
"I know," Judy said, looking at Tom with a strange little smile.
He invited a few boys to watch a basketball game one evening, then went to pick them up while Judy stayed home to whip up a batch of brownies. She had changed her clothes before they got back, and Tom was annoyed to see that she was wearing a new sort of hostess robe �_" at least he had never seen it �_" that was slit high and showed more of her leg and thigh than he thought necessary. He was even more annoyed by the way the boys looked at her as she walked past them. He took a positive dislike to a carrot-topped kid who went by the name of Red Farley. The boy was bigger than the others and real pain-in-the-neck at school, too. And now he positively ogled Judy. Much to Tom's chagrin, she made no effort at all to discourage him, and accepted with what Tom considered unnecessary alacrity when Red offered to go into the kitchen alone with her, "to help with the dishes" he said.
As far as Tom was concerned the evening fell flat. Instead of a serious group of young people surrounding him and looking up to him for his own serious outlook and dedicated attitude, he found himself with a bunch of unruly kids who made dull jokes about the game and then laughed uproariously at them. As for Red Farley, Tom would gladly have broken his neck.
He was in a bad mood when he took the boys back to the dormitory, and he was almost glad when he reached the apartment again to find that Judy was in bed and nearly asleep.
She mumbled something about having a headache as he climbed into bed beside her and pulled the covers up around his chin. That's just fine with me, he thought, because I've got one helluva day tomorrow. Track try-outs after school �_" and I'll be really beat.
He didn't see Red Farley at the try-outs, and he was glad of it, too. The kid was a damned nuisance as far as he was concerned. He breathed a sigh of relief at being rid of him.
He would have been less sanguine about the matter if he had known that at that very moment Red Farley was sitting on Tom's own couch, staring avidly at some pictures Judy held in her hand. They were all of her, and they showed her in various states of undress.
As the kid stared at her in a tight short skirt that showed the full length of her full ripe thigh, a little moustache of perspiration formed above his upper lip. "Like wow!" he muttered, "Man!"
Judy handed him another one, and saw him lick his lips lasciviously. He shot her a puzzled stare and she looked at him for a moment and then laughed. "You see, Red," she said quietly, "both my husband and I feel that there's nothing to be ashamed of in nature, or even in being natural, for that matter. And when you come right down to it, what could be more natural than, well, nudity?"
He shook his head, still licking his lips. "Gee, Mrs. Packard, I don't know," he said.
"Call me Judy," she said, moving a little closer to him, "Please call me Judy."
"Sure, Mrs... I mean, Judy."
"That's better." She riffled through the pictures and pulled out another one. In it she wore a see-through blouse which clearly showed the small tight buds of her hard little nipples. It was unbuttoned almost to her waist, and Red sucked in his breath as he stared at the soft curve of her stomach, at the twin mounds of her lovely breasts.
Judy turned to him, amused at his obvious embarrassment. "Tom and I feel," she said, "That the human body is a beautiful thing. That it's something to be admired, and enjoyed.
Don't you agree, Red?"
He swallowed hard and licked at his lips again. "I sure do," he said emphatically.
Judy pulled out still another photograph of herself. In this the front of her blouse was pulled open and her hands delicately cupped her lovely breasts.
"We think there's a lot of pleasure in a healthy body," Judy said, "Don't you think so?" She handed him still another picture, showing her lying naked on the couch, the firm rounded spheres of her buttocks displayed to the camera. "People shouldn't be ashamed of their bodies, Red. Isn't that right?"
His tongue snaked out again as he nodded dumbly.
"People should be proud of them. Yes?" He nodded again. "You see, Red, we believe �_" my husband and I �_" that bodies are made for pleasure. It's an ancient Greek concept," she went on, wondering where on earth she had heard that, if she ever had. "Yes, it's an ancient Greek idea, and we want to live like the Greeks and to remember their motto: 'Mens sanos in corpos sanos'," Too late she remembered that was Latin, and then had the feeling even her Latin was wrong. Well, it wouldn't matter. Not to Red Farley. "You see, Red?" she asked again.
"Yeah, I see."
She handed him another picture, one of herself completely naked, lying on her back, her knees open slightly to show the soft little curls of her feminity between them, barely concealing the essence of her womanhood beneath.
"Do you, Red?" she murmured as he stared absolutely mesmerized at the lewd photo.
"Yeah, yeah!"
"Really?"
He looked up, gesticulating, swallowing hard, trying to speak. At last he said, "Mrs.
Packard "Judy," she said smiling sweetly.
"Yeah, Judy." He swallowed hard again. "Can I ask you something, Mrs. Packard...
Judy?"
"Of course," she said, smiling pleasantly.
"Well, I mean... is it really... do they... " he broke off in agonized embarrassment.
"Oh," Judy said, showing him she understood him completely, "You want to know if women really look like that?"
He shook his head, too uncomfortable to answer.
"Isn't that it?"
He shook his head. "No."
"No?" she prompted.
"Yes. Goddamnit! Yes!"
Judy put her arm around him, comforting the boy. "Haven't you ever seen a woman before? I mean really seen one. Not in a photo but in the flesh."
Red shook his head, staring at the floor.
"Would you like to?"
"Oh, Jeez. Yes!"
"Come in here, then," Judy said, taking his hand and leading him to the bedroom. She began to take her clothes off, her blouse first, dropping it lightly to the floor. Her skirt came next and she then stood before the trembling boy clad only in her bra and panties. As he watched in mesmerized fascination, she reached behind her and unhooked her brassiere, letting it fall to the floor as it released her firm full breasts to his eager young eyes. She slid her panties off next and stood totally naked before him, just as conscious as he was of her voluptuousness. "There," she said quietly. "Now you know what a woman looks like."
Red sucked in his breath again, dazed. "Jesus!" he said.
Judy turned slowly in front of him, hearing his quick, heavy breathing with lewd pleasure.
"Jeez," he said again.
She turned to face him once more. "You see, a woman's body is very beautiful. But so is a boy's." As Red nodded she went on, "Let me see your body, Red."
He began to unbutton his shirt with trembling fingers and Judy, touching his fingertips, began to help him. She slid it from his shoulders, then eased his trousers down. He stood quaking before her, wearing nothing but his shorts. She pulled them down over his hips, her eyes traveling downward as they fell to the floor. "Oooh!" she said, running her eyes over his entire body. "You're so young and lovely."
His mouth hung open now and his breath came in short, gasping gulps. "Come here, Red," she ordered. He stood glued to the spot. "Come here. You're not afraid of me, are you?"
"Oh, no, ma'am. No, ma'am, Mrs... I mean, Judy."
"That's good," she said, smiling. And then he flung his arms around the teacher, pulling her female body close to his own, his fingers digging into her shoulders as he crushed her close .Young boy that he was, he still towered over her. Suddenly he cupped her chin and lifted it to him, mashing his lips against hers. His tongue flicked out, forcing her moist red lips apart, then shot between them to swirl against her tongue as she gasped for breath.
"Oh, God! This was good! She'd never expected it would be as good as this. Almost as good as it had been back there in Wisconsin with her brother, Doug. And with her cousin, Tony, too. But above all with Doug.
Once again she dreamed that she was in her brother's arms, and the same unearthly passion mounted in her body, setting her blood on fire, driving her out of her mind. She had to have him, too. She had to have this boy, this Red Farley.
She relaxed, leaning against him, and let him push her gently back... back... until they stood beside the bed, their bodies quivering against each other's. She felt a flash of pain as he crushed her to him once more, his chest steel-hard against her tender, heaving breasts. And then she gasped as he pushed her backwards and she fell onto the bed, her limbs limply relaxing and falling open to his gaze.
There was a groan from the young boy and then he dropped onto the bed above her, kneeling over her outstretched form. He flung his body forward, crashing against her, and then pulled himself back and above Judy. His head shot forward, his tongue darting out like that of a small snake, to trail along the white line of her throat to first one soft rounded breast and then the other.
She began to moan and twist on the bed, pulling him closer to her, running her hands the length of his body, over his young firm flanks. "Oh, Red," she murmured, "Oh, my God, I want you! Oh, Red,!"
And then she felt his thick strong fingers searching down between them, slipping gently into her warmly welcoming wetness. He parted her and began to caress her clumsily at first, but with increasing skill. "Oh, God!" he exclaimed, "Oh, my God! I never knew it was like this... I never knew!"
Judy held him still closer, her hands on his back now, urging his hips down on hers, his loins close to her own. She lifted herself to meet him as he thrust forward, the steel-like length of his virile young maleness entrapping her on it. She gasped with delight as she felt it inside, and began to move quietly beneath him, timing her movements to his still uncertain ones. As he swept in deeper, gaining confidence in himself, becoming free of his youthful inhibitions, the two moved in a growing frenzy, undulating their hips and bodies, groaning from time to time, crying out with pleasure. More sure of himself, more confident every minute, the young boy pressed forward, grinding his hips against the older woman's while she writhed and twisted, pulling him closer to her.
She began to keen quietly, chanting his name as her excitement mounted to an apex, and she felt her own warm feminine secretions seep forth to bathe his young virile flesh in their moisture. She felt him as he arched back, and then she heard his cry of ultimate pleasure as he jerked forward again and flooded her with his fresh" young teenage excitement.
She twitched and tensed in a convulsive spasm, then lay back at last, drained, relaxed, supine. He sighed deeply and fell to her side, his eyes closed, breathing heavily. Just before he fell asleep he heard her speaking to him softly. "You must never tell anyone about this, you know, Red. Never. You know what would happen to you if you did. And to me, too."
She kissed him gently on the mouth as he nodded and said, "Yes, I know." And then he drifted off to sleep while she lay beside him, knowing that some day she would have to pay for this, yet knowing, too, that nothing on earth could give her the pleasure that this illicit affair with a young boy had given her this day.
Nothing and no one.
No one... except... except, perhaps, her brother, Doug.
CHAPTER NINE
Judy was stirring a Hollandaise sauce for the asparagus she had planned for dinner when Tom got home. He pecked playfully at her cheek, picked up the paper and went to the living room to settle down in an easy chair and scan the news. When Judy brought him a well-chilled Martini, he asked idly, "What did you do this afternoon?"
"Oh, just played around," she said. She winked at him, then added the kind of obscene expression that had given her thrills so long ago.
Tom frowned, slightly shocked. He'd thought she'd stopped using such language after their marriage. "You know I don't like to hear you talk like that," he reproved her.
"I'm sorry," she said, hanging her head in contrition. "I prepared some term tests and cleaned a little. And cooked you a fabulous dinner, too," she added by way of apology.
Tom smiled and shrugged. "I mean, just, you know, that sometime you might slip and say something like that in front of the students."
His voice had taken on a serious tone and he looked genuinely worried about the possibility.
It was Judy's turn to smile. "You're right. And we wouldn't want them to get the wrong idea, would we?" She picked up her own drink and sipped at it. "Can we have some of the boys over?" she asked.
Tom nodded. "Not a bad idea," he said. "The Knicks are playing this Friday, and the kids would get a big kick out of watching."
Judy smiled. "Fine," she said. "I'll stock up on Cokes and some of those cheese things for them to nibble on."
"Great," Tom said, nodding his approval. He disappeared behind his paper again.
A few minutes later, Judy was standing in front of him again, her frilly white apron tied around her waist, a wooden stirring spoon in her hand. "Tom?" she said.
"What?" he answered, with just a trace of annoyance in his voice.
"Oh, did I interrupt you?" she asked. Before he could answer she hurried on to say, "This time could we have some different boys over?"
Tom beamed at her. "God, yes," he said, "I didn't think so much of that last bunch, did you?"
"Well," she said, smiling enigmatically, "Well... anyway, it would be good to have some different ones."
Tom noted with approval that Judy behaved differently with the three boys who watched the game with them than she had the last time. She was dressed more discreetly, for one thing! For another, she avoided the too intimate type of discussion she had had with Red Farley. He watched smilingly as she assured the boys with the greatest possible charm that English grammar and their grades were taboo subjects, unless they themselves brought the matter up. "This is to be a fun evening," she told them. "We've asked you over to watch the game."
She watched it too, sitting on the floor with the boys, pretending the greatest interest in basketball, although it really bored her to distraction. She asked questions to which she knew the answer, and the boys puffed with pride as they explained the rules of the game in detail, the names of the players, the fine and intricate points of the sport.
Tom sat back sipping his beer, watching the game, reflecting that his wife was a good person and a wonderful wife, congratulating himself again for having had the foresight to marry her. He even marveled at the skillful way in which she got young Jimmy Underwood to go out to the kitchen with her at half-time, to help her with the light refreshments she was serving. It was good to involve the boys that way, he thought, and was glad that Judy understood it. It made them feel they belonged.
The weekend passed quietly, and Judy saw Tom off to work Monday morning with a light kiss on his cheek. "I'll be late coming home," he reminded her, "I've got to take the track team over to that meet at the high school."
"I know, honey."
"Will you miss me?"
"I always miss you," she said, smoothing his hair, "but I've planned something to keep me occupied."
She would keep young Jim Underwood occupied, too, Judy thought, as she answered the doorbell that afternoon. The young boy stood there, grinning sheepishly at her as his eyes took in the brief mini-skirt she wore. Wow, he thought. Old man Lester would never let her run around the school in something like that. Jeez, you could see practically everything she had!
He followed her into the living room and sat down on the couch, staring at her firmly molded hips and thighs, at the lovely ripe mounds of her breasts beneath the sheer cotton blouse that was open almost to her waist. As she sat down it fell open, revealing even more clearly the snowy skin of the twin peaks.
Jim sucked in his breath and edged closer to her. Judy twisted slightly, then, and her skirt rode higher. She looked at him with amusement as she saw his shocked stare. "I never wear panties when I'm at home," she said, laughing lightly. "Or a brassiere, either."
Jim nodded, swallowing hard. Once again, Judy laughed. "What's the matter?" she asked.
"Haven't you ever seen a nude woman before?"
Jim shook his head. "No," he said at last, still staring fixedly at the smooth round curve of her lower hip which was now brazenly displayed to him.
"Would you like to?" Judy asked.
He swallowed again, his breath coming hard and fast now. "Yes," he managed to gasp out.
"Why don't you come in here then?" Without waiting for his answer, Judy rose from the couch and walked ahead of him toward the bedroom, her hips swaying provocatively. Jim followed, licking lasciviously at his lips. Jeez, he thought. This couldn't be true! It just couldn't be true!
He still could hardly believe what was happening as he watched her strip off her blouse and let it fall to the floor, then unbutton her skirt, letting it drop seductively down around her hips. "Would you like to take it off for me?" she asked, smiling lewdly at him.
He reached toward her tentatively, as if she were a dream that might suddenly dissolve, and his hand came in contact with the soft smooth flesh of her hips. Gulping, he eased the skirt down over them and watched as it slithered the length of her long tapering legs to her slim ankles. She stepped out of it, kicking it gracefully aside, then stood before him in all her naked voluptuousness.
"Have you ever touched a woman?" she asked.
Again Jim shook his head.
"And would you like to?"
This time he nodded, and Judy took his hand and guided it straight to the base of her belly. He began to stroke her there, awkward and self-conscious. She moved closer to him, so that-the tips of her breasts touched him, then leaned forward and whispered in his ear, "I've never seen a naked boy before."
Jim stared at her, his eyes wide with disbelief. "You're kidding," he said, his voice husky with his rising passion for her.
Judy shook her head. "No, I'm not," she insisted. And then leaning forward again, running the tip of her moist pink tongue around inside his ear, she whispered, "Why don't you let me see you, Jim?"
He began to fumble awkwardly with his clothes, and Judy reached out a soft cool hand to help him. As he finally stood naked before her, she slid her arm around him, drawing him over toward the bed and then pulling him down on it. His raw young body quivered with passion as he fell on top of her and she teased him gently all over with her fingernails, sending chills of excitement through him. Then her fingers curled around the viriley aroused flesh below and guided it to her. Then, with a low little scream of pure emotion, he surged forward, merging warmly with the desire moistened circle of her passion. And Judy writhed beneath him, quickly establishing the undulating rhythm that would carry them both to mind-crushing climax...
CHAPTER TEN
Life settled into a comfortable routine for Tom and Judy, much like that of other young couples. Their days were occupied with their work at the school, and their free evenings - those when neither had work to prepare for the following day �_" were taken up with an occasional movie, a dinner in town, or visiting other teachers or entertaining them in their own apartment. When spring came they went on picnics and made plans for their long summer vacation. And they had groups of boys over regularly to watch sports events, or just to talk.
Tom was both pleased and proud at the success of what the Packards called their "Open House Policy." It was making him one of the most popular teachers in the school, with practically full attendance for every class he taught. The kids, as he told Judy, seemed to love being asked over for an evening, and some had no qualms whatsoever about hinting that they would like to be included.
They behaved better in class, too, Tom noticed. Even trouble-makers like Red Farley seemed to settle down and act like human beings instead of the wild animals they'd been before. And it gave Tom a real charge to see the boys pointing him out in the gym and locker rooms, to know they were talking about him.
As for the teams Tom coached, their records had never been better. Since making the team �_" any team �_" meant an almost certain invitation to the Packard's for an evening, the whole school seemed to turn out for sports. With competition so stiff, only really fine athletes got to represent the school, and they brought home more than their share of trophies. One day Dr. Lester himself called Tom to the office with "Dean" lettered on the door. "You're doing a great job," he said jovially, slapping him on the back, "Great job. And you know, I think you owe it all to that hard-working little wife of yours."
"I kind of think so, too," Tom admitted.
"Well, you just keep it up," Lester went on, "and who knows? There might just be room for you at the top... " He let his words sink in.
"You mean?" Tom asked, hardly daring to consider the implications.
"I mean we'll be needing a new athletic director one of these days," Lester said, "and it just might be you!"
Tom went home that night with his head in the clouds. Being head of the department would mean more work and less free time, and that meant less time to spend with Judy.
But it would mean a lot more prestige and even a little more pay. And after all, who knew where such a thing could lead? There were colleges and universities looking for men with the qualifications he would have. He'd read only recently that Stanford was making inquiries. And, well... why not?
All was going well, very well... better than Tom had ever dreamed possible. Until the letter came. It was from Judy's parents, and there was nothing unusual in that, since they wrote almost every week. And the letter itself was just the short bit of news they were likely to send. Tom opened it himself and read it aloud to Judy.
Dear Judy and Tom, It was good to get your last letter and to know things are going so well with you. Not much new here except that we're definitely planning a trip to California to see you during the summer. And we just had a letter from Doug, Judy, saying that he got your letter, and that he is planning a trip to California to visit you and Tom when his leave comes up. So be on the lookout for him.
Lots of love, Mom and Dad P.S, Judy, Mom wants to know if you still want her recipe for pickled peaches? She says she's found it and will send it to you if you still want it. P.S.S.
Please let us know about the above.
Tom's voice had faltered, and now trailed off to a faint quavering whisper. Doug! Jesus, Doug! Judy had written to him, had probably been writing to him all along. And now he was coming to visit them. And her parents �_" her own parents �_" were writing to her, as casually as if it were her own brother or something �_" to let her know. My God! What kind of monster had he married? And what kind of family did she come from?
But Judy �_" oh, dear God, he thought �_" Judy had listened, enraptured, to the letter.
"Oh, honey, Doug is going to come here for a visit!"
"Like hell he will!" Tom snarled.
Judy remembered almost too late, the cry that had so often escaped her lips to her early days with Tom, and the lies she had told him by way of explanation. "Why, whatever's the matter?" she asked, deciding to brazen it out.
Tom clenched his fist and shook it in her face.
"You're not seeing that guy! I'll bust his face in for him if he comes here, and yours too," he shouted, backing her against the wall.
Terrified, Judy still managed to keep her cool. "What's wrong with you?" she asked, her eyes going wide with innocence, "What's wrong with you, all of a sudden, just because my brother wants to visit us?"
"Your brother!" Tom yelled, "Christ! That's a good one! Your brother!"
"Well, you don't think he's my sister, do you?" Judy demanded bitterly.
"No, I don't!" Tom snapped. "I think he's that guy you had the affair with. You remember . .
. "he grabbed her by the shoulders and shook her violently, "Oh you remember, Judy...
you must remember! Every time I made love to you, you used to scream his name."
Judy was silent for a long time, her stomach churning in terror. And then she managed a lilting laugh. "Oh, that Doug!" she exclaimed, as if she were the most stupid person in the world not to have understood what Tom was talking about. And as if Tom, himself, was the second most stupid person in the world ever to have such a silly idea! "That Doug," she said again, "Honey, I'd forgotten all about him. That was another one. You know, my brother doesn't really have a copyright on the name... "
Tom was now nodding agreement, embarrassed at the impasse in which he suddenly found himself. Judy, with a malice born of relief, began to list the people named "Doug" of whom she had heard. "There was General MacArthur," she said, "and... there were lots of Scottish kings named Douglas and... that man in England, too... "
"Forget it," Tom. "I'm sorry, Judy. I guess I was just being a jealous husband."
She looked at him, her eyes downcast. "Do you really think you have any reason to be jealous, honey?" she asked.
He shook his head, coloring a little with shame. "I'm a no-good whatcha-ma-call-it," he admitted.
"A 'whatcha-ma-call-it'?" Judy asked, "Oh, you mean a... " but before she could say the obscene words, Tom covered her mouth with his hand and, then, laughing, bent down to mash his lips against her moist, pouting red ones.
That night she cuddled close to him in bed, inviting his advances for the first time in more than a week. She seemed to have suddenly reverted to the past, as far as her demeanor was concerned, and once again urged him to try those aberrations which aroused his excitement, but always left him with a terrible feeling of guilt clouding his mind. Moreover, it made him uneasy when she asked lewdly, "What did you think I would do if it had been that other Doug, and he were here?"
In spite of himself he was still uneasy about the very idea of her brother's approaching visit. There was something that didn't ring true about the story Judy had told him. He didn't know exactly what it was, but the thought haunted him. When he questioned her he found her answers too pat, too glib. Yet he refused to believe that she would do anything so monstrous as to try to pass off a former lover as her brother. And even if she would, he was certain that her own parents would never be part of such a sick scheme.
Sometimes he still wondered if Judy was sick herself, and if so, how serious it was. He remembered that once, long before, he had thought of suggesting that she see a psychiatrist. Instead, though, he had married her. He laughed hollowly at the idea. Yes, he had married her, and she was still the same over-sexed woman, and he was worried about her now as he had been before.
And still she was in almost every way a good wife, a fine teacher, a charming, pretty and popular young woman. What was wrong?
He pushed the idea out of his mind as much as possible and went doggedly about his school work, resolving however that when Doug appeared, he would do his very best to welcome him.
The day of his arrival came at last, and Judy and Tom drove out to the airport to meet her brother. The plane was late and she smoked one cigarette after another as they waited for it. Tom was almost as tense as she was, wondering just what to expect. And then the sign announcing the arrival of the flight flashed on, and Judy rushed to the arrival gate, pushing aside everyone who got in her way. As a tall young man with short cropped hair, dressed in the uniform of a Marine, strode through the door she threw herself into his arms, rapturously repeating his name; "Doug. Oh, Doug, darling! Doug!"
She broke away from him as Tom stepped forward and extended his hand. Doug gripped it firmly as Tom looked into his unwavering blue eyes that were so much like Judy's dark ones. "Welcome," he said with a broad grin and a sigh of relief at the obvious family resemblance between the two. Pointing from one to the other he said, "Well, it's easy to see that you're brother and sister."
"That's what everyone tells us," Doug said, "Right, Judy?"
"Right, Private Paley!"
"Hey, now!" He gave her a playful push, and his eyes crinkled with laughter. "I made Corporal!"
"No kidding?"
"No kidding!" he affirmed, "Well, congratulations, Corporal! And what's it like, being in the Marines?"
"Pretty rugged," Doug said with a shake of his head. "Rugged."
He seemed a nice enough guy, Tom thought, and felt a little guilty about his doubts.
Maybe he was the one with the filthy mind! Maybe he should see the shrink. He tried to make amends by saying, "What would you like to do while you're here, Doug? Anything at all we can do for you?"
"Thanks, but I think things will take care of themselves."
Tom cleared his throat. "I meant fix you up with a date or something?"
"Got anyone special in mind?"
"Well, no," Tom said. "I'm an old married man now, you know. Been out of circulation for awhile. But I'm sure I can scare up a date for you."
Doug smiled, his lips curling back over his even white teeth just as Judy's did. There was no mistaking the resemblance, Tom thought. "You know what I'd really like?" Doug asked, "I'd like just to like around for awhile and take things easy. Do what I want to do when I want it... "
"What's the matter?" Tom asked with a grin, "Ol' drill Sergeant get you down?"
"Down but not out," Doug said, "And right now I'd just like to recuperate from my strenuous way of life, if you know what I mean."
"Sure do, Doug. I was in the service, too. But what I really had in mind was a little female company. You know, girls!"
"Yeah. Well, I'd kind of like to recuperate from that, too," he said. "You know what it's like to be on a marine base, or an army base or any damned military place."
"Yes, I know," Tom said, his eyes narrowing as his old doubts returned. My God! What if this sort of thing ran in the family? But when Judy dashed off to the kitchen to prepare dinner as soon as they got home, and he and Doug relaxed over drinks in the living room, he forgot his fears. The guy was all right, he told himself. Hadn't he asked all about the kids at school, told Tom how important he thought sports were for them, and what a great job Tom was doing? Sure he had! And when Judy came in in her little white apron, looking like some kind of ad for a new cake mix �_" "luscious," he murmured half-aloud and chuckling �_" he dismissed all his earlier doubts about the young Marine with a snap of his fingers. They were a great family, he decided. A really nice family!
Over Judy's roast chicken with mushroom sauce, her broccoli Hollandaise, and the marvelous scalloped potatoes she served with them, Tom picked up the thread of their earlier conversation. "In a way," he said, "I'm glad you just want to take it easy, just flake off."
"Why?"
"Well, my schedule for next week is pretty crowded. I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to see much of you."
There was a quick glance between Judy and her brother that bothered Tom, but he shrugged it off. Then Doug asked, "How about you, Sis? You all tied up with exams and after school sessions with the parents and that sort of stuff, too?"
Judy shook her head. "Not me," she declared, "I kind of cleared my calendar when I found out you were coming, Doug."
"Good girl," he said, squeezing her hand.
"So I'll be able to show you all the sights," she turned a pleading face to Tom. "Won't you be able to get away just one night, honey," she asked, "For a night on the town?"
"Could be," he said, nodding. "Maybe I can work it out."
Suddenly Judy changed the subject, laughing a little and letting her tongue slip between her lips seductively. "The funniest thing happened," she said with a quick look at Tom, "I've just got to tell you." She patted her husband's hand reassuringly, playing the innocent young wife for all she was worth. "Tom was absolutely livid when we got Mom's letter saying you were coming," she confided to her brother, "Can you imagine?"
Doug carefully cut a morsel of chicken free from the bone and lifted it to his mouth. "Oh," he said casually, "and why was that?"
Judy hesitated but Tom shrugged. "Well, you've already told him so you might as well go on to the bitter end."
She put down her knife and fork. "When Tom read your name in the letter Mom and Dad sent he just blew his top. And you know why?" She giggled, and the sound of it grated on Tom's raw nerves, "He thought you were the guy named Doug I got so involved with when I went home that summer. You know, the first summer after I came out here to teach."
Doug stared at Judy, frowning as if trying to remember. "Who?" he said.
"Oh, you remember," Judy said, "You know. That dim-wit. The one named Doug.
Remember how we got all confused, what with your name being Doug, too."
"Oh, that jerk," Doug said, shrugging. He attacked the chicken leg and demolished it before he spoke again. "That jerk," he repeated.
Tom laughed self-consciously and attacked the other leg of the chicken. "I guess I just got carried away," he said. "You know what it's like... I mean, just married and all."
Doug's hearty laugh rang through the room. "Honest to God," he said, "I don't know. That hasn't happened to me yet. But I'll take your word for it." He brushed his hand through the air as if he were brushing away flies. "No sweat there; no problem. Right, Sis?"
"Right," she agreed. "But tell me about Tony. He's almost as bad as you are," she went on. "He never writes, either."
"That's your little cousin, isn't it?" Tom asked.
"That's my little cousin," Judy said.
"Not so little now. And he might be coming out here to school next year. Did you know that?"
Judy threw up her hands in a gesture of despair. "Nobody tells me anything," she complained.
"Well, I'm telling you now."
Suddenly Tom looked at his watch. "Good Lord! It's late. And I've got a helluva day tomorrow. Do you mind if I, uh, bow out?"
"I'm pretty tired myself," Doug said, "Long day behind me, you know. And like I said, I had some pretty strenuous nights just before I came out here."
They had left the table earlier and now sat in the living room. Tom got to his feet, but turned to stare at Doug before he left the room.
Embarrassed at what he considered his rather bad taste, he could only ask stupidly, "They don't keep you out on patrol at night too, do they? In the Marines, I mean?"
"Hell, no. But as soon as I got my leave, I headed for the nearest town with plenty of available women. And I had a whole series of them, too. It was about time, I can tell you.
I'd been about off my rocker, with only local talent on hand around the base."
Tom's face fell. Prostitutes! That was what the guy was talking about. He felt a little queasy at the idea. My God! The resemblance between Judy and her brother was more than skin deep. A lot more than that. He wiped his hand across his forehead, wondering if he'd been taken in again. Doug had seemed such a nice young man, talking to him about the work he was doing with the boys, making him proud of himself for his zeal and dedication. He'd even said something like, "We need more guys like you, guys who take an active and real interest in kids." Tom had felt a real kinship with him at that moment and had been a little ashamed of himself for his doubt about Doug earlier. And now perhaps he'd been deceived! He shook his head, muttered a cold "Good night!" and went to the bedroom.
He was making coffee for himself the next morning when Judy came padding into the kitchen in a demure little housecoat, looking fresh and rested. "I'll fix it for you, honey," she said, setting out cups for both of them and putting a pot of water on to boil. She looked at him with wide serious eyes over the rim of her cup. "What do you think of my little brother?" she asked.
"Nice kid," Tom answered, knowing that was what he was expected to say. But Doug had bothered him, although he couldn't say anything to Judy about it. He finished his coffee and pushed his chair back. He didn't feel like any argument with his wife now, didn't feel like probing into her brother's life style. Maybe later, he told himself, pushing the unpleasant thoughts that crowded into his mind out of the way. Maybe later but not now.
He drove to school, still flustered by the doubts that gnawed at him and with a strange premonition of impending disaster. Yet going into the faculty lounge he told himself he was being utterly absurd; Judy was a wonderful wife and her brother was a fine decent kid who had volunteered for one of the toughest outfits there was, the Marines �_" ready to fight and die to defend his country. Hell, if there was someone who was sick it was himself, with all his suspicions and petty jealousies. Maybe he was the one who ought to see the shrink after all. Jesus, he was becoming practically �_" what was the word �_" oh, yeah, "paranoid." He shook himself. Better get over it, old boy, before you let this sort of thing ruin your life, he admonished himself. And better get on with your work before you lose your job or something.
He turned to pick up his briefcase with the reports that were due on the Dean's desk that afternoon. Damn it all! In his anxiety about Judy and Doug, he had left it at home. He glanced at his watch and saw there was no time to go after the briefcase now. He would have to hurry back just after lunch for it. And with another muttered, "damn" he left the lounge and went down the hall toward the gym.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Doug slept until shortly before noon, and awoke to find his sister Judy sitting on the edge of his bed. She had changed from the frilly white dotted Swiss housecoat which had made her look so demure and sweet, and which she had worn for Tom's benefit, into a skin-tight robe of red jersey which showed every tantalizing curve of her thighs and hips. It was slit in front almost to the waist, and she wore nothing under it, and now as she sat beside her brother, it fell open and revealed the soft smooth mounds of her breasts.
Doug drew in his breath sharply as he saw them, and then let forth a low lewd whistle.
"Hey, girl, you really got something there," he said, leering.
"Mmmm... as if you didn't know," Judy answered in a hoarse throaty voice.
"I knew all right. Guess I'd just forgotten."
"You know," Judy said pointedly, "this is the very first time we've been alone together since that summer."
"Yeah?" he raised his eyebrows quizzically She put her hand on his arm and began to run her fingers up and down it. "Hey!" he said, smiling contentedly. Suddenly he reached up, slipping both hands beneath her robe to cup her breasts, squeezing the tender flesh teasingly in his strong fingers.
She squirmed, trying to free herself. "You know, you almost ruined my life?"
"Yeah?"
"Yes. I didn't know what to do. I thought I was going to go out of my mind, for awhile."
"Why?"
"You know I'm crazy about you, Doug."
"Most women are," he said flippantly.
She broke free, pulled her hand back and let it slash hard across his face. "You can be so damned cruel!" she cried.
"That's part of my charm," he said between tightly set lips. He grabbed her wrist in one iron hand, making her flinch. "And you try another little trick like that one," he added, "and you'll see just how cruel I really can be." He pulled her down towards him, turning her over, and then gave her a stinging slap on her backside that made her scream with pain.
"That's only a sample," he said, "Understand?"
Judy, chastened, rubbed her hand across her still smarting buttocks. "I understand," she said submissively.
"You were so rotten to me," Judy went on, referring once again to that summer, "You wouldn't even talk to me, afterwards. You could have said something, you know. One kind word. Would that have hurt you?"
"Who knows?" his eyes narrowed evilly. "And who cares?"
"I do! I did!"
"Okay. So you want a kind word, so you get a kind word." He paused dramatically, "You were great in bed, Sis," he said, "Best lay I ever had!"
Judy's eyes sparkled and she let Doug pull her down to him, crushing her robe-covered breasts against his chest, running his hands up and down her back, then slipping them under the robe to stroke her smooth white thighs. She quivered uncontrollably as her whole body seemed to catch fire. Suddenly he asked, "What's he like?"
"Who?"
"That character you married. Tom."
Judy shrugged. "All right."
"But nothing more, I'll bet."
"No, nothing more," she admitted.
"Where are you getting it then?"
Judy giggled. "I like young boys," she said, "And there are plenty of young boys around, what with the school."
Doug laughed and punched her playfully. "You mean you do it with those kids from the school? The ones he's coaching?"
"Sure," Judy said with a shrug, "Why not?"
"Because it's just too cool," Doug said, doubling up and bellowing with laughter, "It's just too good, that's why."
Judy lowered her eyes and said suggestively. "It really is too good �_" or almost."
"But not as good as it is with me?" Doug asked, catching the double meaning in her words.
She sighed. "There's nothing ever been as good as it was with you," she admitted.
He started to hum a song she hadn't heard since that night in Wisconsin, mouthing the words obscenely. "Let's do it," he suggested, "Let's do it... Let's do it... " A terrific thrill of excitement ran through Judy, mingling with a strange, inexplicable chill, of fear. For months and months now she had been hoping for just this, planning her life to lead up to it. Oh, the kids had been fun. But they couldn't compare with the way she'd felt with Doug that night. Just the memory seemed to light little fires in her flesh, making her tingle all over with expectation. The intolerable aching in her loins began, mounting in intensity until she thought she would go out of her mind. Oh, God! She had to have him, had to feel his youthful strength and virility, again, setting her afire as it had been that other time.
And yet she was afraid. It had been wicked and evil to do it with the boys from the school - and she blushed a little at the thought of how she had seduced those mere children as she now decided they had been �_" yes, that had been evil. But �_" her brother! Wasn't incest a thousand times worse?
All the books she had read during those terrible days of her utter depression seemed to fall open again before her eyes, and she read again of the taboos, the curse of such unnatural relationships. She wrenched herself free from her brother's exciting fingers and slipped away from him. She couldn't! She couldn't! She mustn't! As she started for the door he called after her, bewildered, "Hey, Sis, where are you going?"
"I don't know," she called back, "I just don't know."
In an instant he had leapt from the bed and followed her into the living room. "Hey," he said, "I thought you were going to give me some. I thought we were both all hot for it."
"I can't do it with you, Doug. I just can't!"
"Why? Why not?" He gripped her arm, his strong fingers biting deep into her soft flesh, "Come on, why not?"
"Because it's terribly wrong," she said, her voice trembling. The enormity of her degradation had just become real to her and she reeled backwards, trying to escape it.
"Wasn't it wrong before?"
"Yes. Oh, yes, Doug."
"But you did it!"
"Yes, I did it," she answered sorrowfully, "And I regretted it so much, later. You'll never know how much I regretted it."
"And what about those kids? The boys you've been putting out for while poor old Tom was off teaching the others how to kick and punt? What about them?"
"That was different," she said pathetically.
"Because you weren't related to them."
"That's right."
"But otherwise you don't give a damn."
She shook her head and tears filled her eyes. "I guess that's it," she said, "I didn't give a damn."
"Well, don't give a damn about my being your brother, either. Just think of me as one of your husband's students �_" one of those bright-eyed clean-cut kids that you made out with �_" and just do for me what you did for them."
Judy put her hands over her face. "I can't," she whimpered, "I just can't."
"Then why the hell did you let me come out here?"
"I thought it would be different," Judy wailed, "Oh, Doug! I wanted you so much... "
"And now you don't?" His face, looking down into hers, was a cruel mask and she remembered what he had said a few minutes before. He was cruel, terrifyingly cruel, and she was afraid of him as she had never been afraid of anything else before in her life.
"I still want you," she said, her voice soft as she pleaded with him to understand. "I'll always want you, I guess, Doug!" she stroked his cheek, then ran her hands across his bare, muscular chest. "Always."
"Oh, that's great!" Doug said, throwing her across the room with a quick and brutal gesture, "That's just great!"
She fell back staggering against the couch, then dropped to the floor beside it. In an instant Doug was over her, pulling her to her feet, "There's a word for women like you," he said, "and it isn't very nice!" And then he pulled her up and shoved her backwards so that she fell onto the couch, her legs falling out to the sides.
Doug dropped to his knees beside her and began to tear at the soft fabric of the robe that still enveloped her trembling body. There was the sound of splitting cloth and then it all fell free, dropping to the couch to form a soft sheet beneath her.
Her firm full breasts were displayed in all their loveliness to her brother's lust-crazed eyes.
Harshly, he began to stroke the small buds of her nipples with one hand while his other hand roamed along the narrow furrow between her breasts, gliding down over the soft curve of her belly to the thinly curling little triangle at the base of it.
Judy squirmed beneath him, trying to free herself. "Doug, not now," she begged, looking toward the door. "Oh God, not here in my own husband's house!"
His lips curled scornfully. "Afraid Tom will come home and catch you?" he asked. "All the more fun!"
With one hand he held her glued tight against the couch while with the other he leisurely stripped off the shorts he had worn to sleep in. As they came off, she saw the strength of his lust that had been hitherto concealed and she knew that now she was his, helplessly his. She closed her eyes and heard his rough voice saying, "It's been a long time, Sis. A damned long time. But I intend to make up for that right now."
Still holding her down, he dropped to the couch, covering her body with his own heavy one and she felt the hard bones of his hips grinding into her softness. She writhed in agony and screamed, "Oh God! Don't! You're hurting me! Doug, you 're hurting me!"
"You'll get used to it," he said callously, and suddenly Judy wondered why she had submitted to him before, why she had ever wanted to. And above all, she wondered why she had permitted him to come here.
But it was too late to think of that, too, too late for regrets. "Come on, Sis, open 'em up," she heard Doug order brutally and as she hesitated, he grabbed her by the ankles and forced them apart. With an evil leer he peered at the secret softness between them, now quivering and pulsating wildly.
He drew his middle finger along the soft flesh of her inner thighs until he reached the open "vee" between them, then paused to search out the fearfully quivering bud of her womanhood hidden so deeply within, teasing it and taunting it into a throbbing stiffness.
Judy sucked in her breath at the delightful warmth it sent shooting through her veins, at the tingling excitement that burst into bloom within her. "Oh God!" she moaned, "Oh, my God!"
Once again a thrill of terror ran through her as the full knowledge of her utter depravity struck home. But she was helpless to fight against it, unable to do anything except submit to her own brother's lewd and wanton demands.
His finger circled her there, bringing further moans from her throat. And then she groaned as she felt it capture her and gasped for breath again, reveling in the exquisite pleasure that was compounded by her guilty knowledge of her own wickedness. "Oh, don't!" she begged, knowing that her words were meaningless, that she wanted him to continue this lewd and evil ravishment of her helpless femininity.
"Like it, huh?" Doug said, leering down at her. His tongue wormed hotly out to force her lips open, to sink deep into her mouth, swirling against her own tongue until she was afraid she would choke. As he lifted his head she gasped for breath. "I thought you'd like it," he said cockily.
He rolled over, his body covering hers now, and she felt his hips grinding again over her own. Once more his head bent down, and now his teeth closed over the tiny bud of one nipple, biting cruelly into her sensitive flesh. He began to teasingly play on it while new thrills of illicit pleasure surged through her helpless body. Trembling, she snaked her arms around him, almost involuntarily, pressing his lithe athletic body close to her, clawing at his flesh in her wanton passion.
Writhing beneath him, she moved her hips closer to him, opening herself even further apart below until she felt his impatient ardor there, felt it pressing and searching for her from where he had withdrawn his finger only seconds earlier. Then, with a low grunt of animal lust he suddenly jerked forward, throwing his head back at the same time, his eyes closed, his face contorted with his agonized sexuality.
Judy groaned, resisting him for only the briefest possible moment and then feeling all resolutions melt away as she thrust her loins joyously up to meet his, to welcome him into her most secret, most sacred sanctuary. As he swept deeper into her, she moved accommodatingly beneath him, her hips rolling, her wild incestuous desire rising as she met him and moved in unison with his throbbing, mercilessly flailing body.
She felt him growing inside her, felt the burgeoning of his massive flesh as he strove toward his climax, felt her own interior stretched to its extremity.
And then as she groaned and twisted, she felt the steady stream of his passion flooding deep and warm into her, felt her own seep forth from the well of her shamelessly responding lust. She clasped her brother close to her, shuddered against him in the most ecstatic joy she had ever known.
She closed her eyes, oblivious to everything but the pleasure that suffused her body, fulfilling her as she had never been fulfilled before. When she opened them again, she saw that Tom was standing there in the doorway, his eyes blood-shot, his face livid. It seemed a long time passed before she recognized him, knew that this was her husband and that he was moving toward her and Doug... Doug still lying on top of her... and Tom with the expression of a murderer on his face.
CHAPTER TWELVE
There was a blood-curdling scream as Tom's hand shot out to seize Doug by one massive shoulder, to lift him from Judy's heaving body and to fling him with almost superhuman strength across the room. Doug struck an end table, toppling the lamp from it which went out in an explosion of glass and sparks. The table shook and Doug collapsed, huddled naked against it for a brief moment.
In another instant Tom was beside him, reaching down once more, pulling Doug to his feet this time. The younger man tottered before him, still blinking his eyes in bewilderment.
What on earth was happening? He'd been lying on top of his sister's warm, passion-drained body, his own passion spent and exhausted as well, and suddenly he was standing before this wild man whose eyes flashed like those of a beleaguered bull, whose nostrils flared with his anger and hatred.
As he stood now, propped up by Tom and weaving unsteadily from side to side, he heard Judy's horrified scream, then saw her dart across the room to seize her husband's clenched and threatening fist. He saw her shaken off, tossed aside like a ball of fluff. Judy screamed again and then Tom's fist flashed out again to clip smartly, painfully against Doug's chin, sending him reeling backwards once again.
As he was struggling to his feet, another blow hit him, this time between the eyes, and sending up little flashes of brightly-colored lights and pin wheels in front of them. There was a third crashing blow and Doug dimly felt the moisture trickling from the corner of his mouth. He licked at it, and recognized the salty taste of his tongue as that of blood. He staggered backward, then ducked as another blow came at him.
Suddenly his entire training as a Marine seemed to come back to him. Still staggering and weaving unsteadily, striving to maintain his balance on his wobbling legs, he crouched, doubling his fists and moving in on Tom. He ducked once more, then was jolted almost off his feet another time as a sharp uppercut landed. He spun around, drawing in his breath, feeling a flash of pain that was almost unbearable. And then he was ready for action again.
He moved forward stealthily, gathering every ounce of strength still left in his battered body, and then smashed his fist into Tom Packard's face. Tom, turned aside with a helpless grunt and his legs buckled beneath him for just a second. Then he gathered his strength as Doug had and moved in close, landing cruel blows on Doug's chest and shoulders. He took equally cruel blows, felt himself being seared by indescribable pain.
Like Doug, he felt the trickle of warm blood flowing down his face and brushed it away. He took another blow, and knew that a great gash had been opened over his eye. Yet he still came on, fists hammering at the other's coiled body, jolting him from time to time, punishing him without mercy.
Judy, watching from the other side of the room, screamed in terror and then rushed forward to claw desperately at the two men in a futile effort to pull them apart. "Don't!" she begged, her voice rising to a spine-chilling shriek, "Don't! Oh, my God! Don't." She sobbed hysterically now, pushing ineffectually at first one and then the other.
"You'll kill him," she screamed as Doug began to pound brutally at Tom's body. His neat white shirt was torn to shreds now and stained with blood and sweat. His face was scratched and bleeding. One eye had swollen shut. And yet he slugged on, handing out his own cruel punishment to the young Marine.
Screaming hysterically now, Judy again tried to throw herself between the two men, clawing and scratching at them in a desperate effort to stop the fight. She felt a vicious blow on her mouth that sent her flying across the room, and heard her husband's voice hurting her more painfully than the blow he had given her. "You whore!" he shouted at her, "You damned little whore!"
She lay against the couch, gathering her strength as the brutal fist fight raged on. Through tear-clouded eyes she could see the cuts and bruises that marked the two men's faces and bodies now. Once more she struggled to her feet and came forward, threw herself between the two, pushing them apart. One more time she found herself hurled across the room, with the most vile epithets she had ever heard. She lay where she had fallen this time, pain shooting through her arms and legs. Gingerly she ran her hands over her body, wondering if something was broken.
In a daze now she struggled to her knees, trying to get on her feet. The room seemed to reel around her dazed head. But through the dizzy haze she saw that Doug had her husband by the throat and was forcing him slowly but relentlessly to his knees, and then he was on the floor, now doubled back strangely. Everything went completely black for several minutes, and when the darkness had passed and the lights came on again �_" or so Judy thought �_" she saw that Doug, still holding Tom by the throat was slamming his head down mercilessly against the floor.
Somehow she managed to crawl to her husband's side, throw herself on him, pleading with her brother, "Oh, God, Doug! Don't! You'll kill him!"
"Good!" he spat at her, and then with a final effort slammed the back of Tom's head down against the floor with all his strength.
Judy screamed as Tom's body buckled, seemed to arch, then slid back to lie inert and lifeless on the floor. A little fleck of blood stained the corner of his mouth, spilling over, down what was left of his starched white shirt.
She stared down at him, stupefied, for what seemed forever and then began to moan and wail hysterically, rocking back and forth on her haunches. She looked down once, surprised to find that she was completely naked, and yet not caring. Doug was naked, too, she saw �_" naked and sprawled against the wall �_" panting heavily, his own face cut and swollen, too exhausted to move.
Judy had no idea how long she rocked there, her screams splitting the early evening air.
She had no idea who it was who banged at the door, then finally opened it and peered in.
She heard a scream that seemed to echo her own, but never recognized the voice.
Much later there seemed to be a great commotion in the room, with people whom she knew as neighbors coming in. She covered her nakedness as best she could with her hands, but was too exhausted, too much in a state of shock to rouse herself, to find her clothes and put them on. Doug, too, sat there with his naked form glistening with sweat, not knowing what was happening and not caring.
She had crawled to Tom's outstretched lifeless body and knelt there beside him, wiping away the blood with the back of her hand, when she heard the wail and whine of the police sirens. At first they made no impression on her whatsoever and later she thought "fire engines" and wondered where they were going.
When the police pushed open the door and swarmed into the room, she somehow mistook their uniforms for the green uniforms of the Marines now trying to make love to her as Doug had. When they began to question her, she answered them as best she could, aware that they were looking at her with strange, shocked expressions and lewd, sidelong glances. It dawned on her dazed brain at last that they were snickering at her nakedness, but it was only when one of them brought some clothes to her that she thought of putting anything over her nude body, and even then she did it only with the help of a police officer.
She saw that they were helping Doug get dressed, too, and heard one of them exclaim, "Jesus! This guy's a Marine!" She knew that a crowd had gathered outside their apartment and she saw their faces vaguely as she and Doug were led away to the police car. She began to sob again, crying, "My husband! My husband's in there!"
A lieutenant pushed her into the waiting car, its red light still flashing. "That's right," the officer said, "and he ain't going nowhere, except to the morgue, now."
"Where are you taking me?"
"You'll find out soon enough, sister."
She pulled her dress around her protectively, suddenly aware that the officers had given her no panties or brassiere and feeling strangely ashamed of such immodesty. She smoothed her dress down over her naked thighs while a policeman leered.
She had a vague idea of what was happening to her as she stood before the captain in the precinct house. But she was too bewildered to answer his questions. Looking around her she saw with gratitude that Dr. Lester, the dean of her school, was there too, and she would have thanked him if she had been able to speak, for stepping forward on her behalf.
But his mouth was set in a grimly straight line and somehow she knew that he was angry with her, which made her feel bad.
She was told to press her thumbs against an ink pad, and then onto a piece of paper. She was taken somewhere to be photographed while Doug was taken somewhere else to be questioned. Then she was led down a long endless corridor to a tiny cell and put inside.
The door clanked shut behind her and she heard the scraping of the key as it was turned in the lock.
She looked around her and in the dim light could make out an iron bedstead covered with a dirty-looking blanket, the rusty washbasin in the corner, and the bucket which was apparently to be used as a toilet.
Much later, a matron wearing gray and with a bunch of keys fastened to her waist, came and handed Judy a prison uniform through the bars. Later someone brought her a tin plate containing a greasy stew which seemed to be mainly water, with a tin spoon. She tried to eat some of it, but couldn't force herself to swallow the unappetizing mixture. And so she sat there as the bit of sky which she could see through the narrow barred window gradually darkened. She sat there listening to the screams of the drug addicts undergoing withdrawal from heroin and methedrine, and to the shouted epithets of young girls fighting off the advances of hardened lesbians, and to the harshly barked orders of the guards.
The tiny cell was growing light again and still she sat on the stool, her body stiff with fatigue now, and finally the full enormity of her wickedness hit her. With it came the stunning realization of what was in store for her now. Her husband, Tom, was dead, she knew that. Her brother, Doug, would die in the gas chamber for causing the death of her husband. And she would almost certainly go to women's prison for her part in the sordid drama.
It would be for a long time, she supposed. And when it was over, if she survived, then what?
Her mind went back to the young girl, the prostitute that she and Tom had brought home with them that night, and she knew with certainty that she too would have to become a prostitute in order to support herself. But there would be a difference. The girl they had picked up was young, barely twenty. And she would be old when she was released. There would be no young men like Tom willing to pay for her favors. The best that she could hope for would be drunken old men who hung around the Skid Row of whatever town she landed in. Dirty old men... and she would have to submit to their perverted demands for probably no more than two or three dollars each.
A cold chill ran through her and she raised her hands to her face, covering it. And then she began to sob brokenly. She was still crying hopelessly when the matron brought her a dish of cold porridge an hour later...
